Shelley Zalis is an internationally-renewed thought leader for advancing equality in the workplace. She’s also the Founder and CEO of The Female Quotient. When she stopped by the NYC studio last week, we talked about how she started The Girl's Lounge and why closing the the wage gap isn't just a social imperative it's a business imperative. Shelley calls herself "a chief troublemaker" and this isn't her first rodeo. She started a research company back in the day, when surveys were just making their way online. She became one of the first female chief executive officers ranked in the research industry's top 25. After selling --and then integrating her company to a French firm -- Shelley branched out again on her next adventure. She founded The Female Quotient. One of her first initiatives -- to create what I would call "a safe space" for women to hang out and network at what are traditionally male dominated events; think Davos and The Consumer Electronics Show. Shelley named it The Girls' Lounge. She believes in the power of the pack. Zalis has interviewed the likes of Katie Couric, Halle Berry, Gwyneth Paltrow, Sheryl Sandberg, Arianna Huffington and more on topics related to equality and leadership. She's also the author of a Forbes column called The Messy Middle. She's also the co-founder of #seeher, a movement led be the Association of National Advertisers to increase the percentage of accurate portrays of women and girls in advertising and media and she is on the board of directors for MAKERS.
In this special holiday bonus episode Byron Katie and Nell discuss how to use four questions, which Byron Katie calls "The Work" to forgive someone you love. We can absolutely use "reframing" questions to help many of us cope with spending time with relatives who may trigger us to either 1) feel bad about ourselves or 2) feel angry towards them. Byron Katie and I discuss this effective technique. Byron Katie, for those of you who don't know her, is an American speaker and international bestselling author. Time magazine describes her as "a spiritual innovator for the 21st century." Elizabeth Gilbert loves her and Jess Lively personally recommended her to me. As any therapist will tell you, our phones ring off the hook starting around November 1st and usually don't stop until sometime after the New Year. That's because, for many of us, "going home" is a stressful experience. Given the current political climate in America, when family members can really be at idealogical or political odds with one another, this episode may ring true for many of you listening. If these techniques don't go deep enough for you, I've also included a bit about a forgiveness theory called The Little Soul and the Sun based on the work of Neale Donald Walsch which I've taught in pervious episodes.
Radha Agrawal, no joke, is one of THE MOST fascinating women I've ever sat down with -- ever. She's a disruptor and inventor by nature and what I call a pacesetter. She's a vocal feminist and savvy savvy businesswoman.
Radha is probably most famously known for being the other half of Thinx underwear — she founded the company with her sister back in 2013. A cutting edge concept, they invented absorbent underwear so women don’t have to wear pads or tampons when they have their period (and Thinx was all happening while she was still running a separate successful startup in media wellness called Super Sprowtz. You would think birthing two businesses from scratch would be enough....think again.
Longing for community and a place to let go, a few years ago Radha orchestrated a sober predawn dance party at her apartment. Daybreaker, her third business child was born. Seven years later it’s an events company with almost half a million followers and dozens of chapters worldwide.
And yet again, she's not stopping there. This year she's launching LiveItUp Life School which I'm positive will disrupt the educational technology space -- and it's coming to your smart phone soon.
Radha let me pick her brain about her recently published book Belong, where she teaches anyone how to build a community of like minded souls who want to make their mark on the world. Her advice on female funding dollars in this episode is also priceless as is her POV on conscious entrepreneurship.
She creates her own lingo: names for things like Fuck Yeah Friends (FYF’s) and PORTALS (you’ll have to listen to find out). She doles out practical tips like "never gossip" and perform community rituals. And she goes on to explain there are four stages to community building. Belong is a recipe book for anyone looking to bake a social movement or find a tribe.
Not even 40, hold on world -- Radha has only begun.
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A humans of New York inspirational story, Ray — born and raised in Queens — has something profound to teach all of us: if you fail it shouldn’t be for lack of trying. Self made and tenacious as hell, listen and learn how Ray overcomes fear and self doubt in order to live out his dreams. From a restaurant and bar owner to construction and New York City real estate, Ray — by sheer grit — is now the Founder of Living the Dreams Films. With 7 feature length films in the last 2 years alone, Ray’s wholehearted passion for the entertainment industry has seen him work alongside the great talents of Amanda Seyfreid, Alec Baldwin, Johnny Depp, Adam Levine, Taylor Schilling and many others. His films have been met with critical acclaim and wide audiences spanning several genres.
I wanted to interview "regular extraordinary people" for the show. People who have a story we can all relate to and a point a view that's both moving and meant to teach you something about life. Yes, this is life. Radical transparency here -- Ray slid into my DM's and asked to meet for coffee. I rarely say yes to these things but we agreed it might be professionally beneficial -- something about his profile intrigued me and I had a feeling we knew people in common. We met at the ACE hotel at 3 in the afternoon. He had a queens accent and a personal life story that took my breath away -- which you'll hear and see on the show (if you're watching this on Facebook Watch you'll witness how Ray and I both get emotional when he talks about sobriety, his daughter and what it was like to lose his former wife to cancer). I believe people are made up of energy and Ray had a seriously positive charge but not in a fake way. I wanted to know how he handled personal setbacks and why he decided, after starting and running a massively successful construction company, we made his way into the film world. His company Living the Dreams Film has now been in solved in producing I believe ten movies in just a few years. His story reminds us if we remain curious and tenacious anything is possible. As Ray says, "If I fail, it won't be for a lack of trying."
This episode is for anyone who wants some seriously time tested life advice that won’t overwhelm you.
Larry Broughton — Founder, CEO, hotelier, international speaker, best selling author and former Green Beret — sat down with me in NYC to talk about his successes, his failures and the best advice he gives to entrepreneurs and world renowned leaders.
He told me the five key strategies he teaches people who really want to live remarkable lives and run businesses that are both successful and meaningful: get rid of your inner mean girl (negative self talk for example). Then, I press him to tell me EXACTLY how he goes about practicing what he preaches.
Usually I’m like, ok, here are some more tips, some more canned “secrets to success.” Let me make this clear, there is nothing about Larry’s advice (or his book aptly entitled VICTORY) that smacks of canned motivational quotes or shallow advice.
A seasoned veteran and one of the most distinguished business leaders I’ve met in long time, Larry has clearly thought long and hard about how to motivate people (he’s coached entrepreneurs for decades) because he’s actually walked the walk.
We purposefully kept this segment short, sweet and easy to digest. We aren’t into overwhelming people with too much too soon. For more in depth coaching I highly encourage you to buy VICTORY. It’s the book I wish I had had when I was starting out 7 years as an entrepreneur.
Allison Cave, along with her business partner, came up with a novel concept — they own a bakery and bar all in one called Butter & Scotch. It's designed by women with women in mind. Their goal: to create a safe place where women would feel comfortable stopping in after work, to sip a few cocktails and eat birthday cake. Femmenist and inclusive, they also wanted to run a business that had social impact (one dollar of of every drink you purchase goes to Planned Parenthood). Clearly they didn't just create another restraunt bar, they created a community. Raising the funds to take on such a project was a whole other matter. Allison has a lot to teach entrepreneurs and women in particular about obtaining friends and family rounds, Kickstarter campaigns and government loans. I ask her specifics: how she started her business (literally baking for weekend markets), how hard it was, what she learned about raising money, and what she would do differently. She is open about her experience , self aware and talk about how difficult it was to find life / work balance, measure success and manage teams. If Allison isn’t accomplished enough, she also has published two cookbooks, Butter and Scotch and First Prize Pies. You never know how it's going to go with a guest. I fell in love with Allison the moment she walked into the studio. If you also watch this segment on Facebook Watch you'll see how likable she is AND you’ll get a good look at the cover of her cookbook. PS. I've tried their iconic cake. That's a lie. I ate half the slice at Butter & Scotch and the other half I planned to take home but I happily finished that baby on the subway platform. #noregrets. Without further adieu -- www.butterandscotch.com Instagram @drunkenbakers
Rayna Greenberg and Ashely Hesseltine -- the two creators and stars behind the widely popular podcast Girls Gotta Eat -- stopped by the studio in NYC to chat with me about why they're so F’n brave. We laugh a lot and talk openly about boys, BJ's, what is and what isn't acceptable to say on Facebook Watch, life goals, men who slide into my dm's, consensual non-monogamy, verbal self defense and how long you should wait before you sleep with someone.
Girls Gotta Eat is a comedy podcast where Ash and Rayna talk openly about their love lives and how the cope with the dating scene in NYC. They also feature guest experts who answer your most pressing relationship questions.
If you don't know who they are, look up their podcast on iTunes and their Instagram accounts. Prepare to laugh your ass off. You’re going to hear me like you've never heard me before. Yeah, they both think I need to be brave and just tell it like it is. This is the girl equivalent of boy locker room talk, sort of...we're not into disparaging men.
But I’m Sorry about the audio quality. We're still working out the kinks. This certainly won’t be the last time we record together. I’lll make sure to get it right next time.
And because we had such an awesome time doing the show, they asked me to get my ass out to Chicago so I can join them onstage LIVE on November 7th at City Winery. It’s going to be so fun. Tickets are sold out to the show but you can still get after party meet and greet ones. Check their website for more details.
Instagram accounts @onehungryjew and @brosbeingbasic
Ian Kerner's book: She Comes First
Esther Perel's books: Mating in Captivity, The State of Affairs
This episode is for anyone who has ever felt like they aren’t “good enough” or “qualified enough” to go for or perform a certain job or role — especially women. I asked imposter syndrome expert Valerie Young to break this social and psychic phenomenon down for us AND give us some tips on how we can learn to manage it.
Let’s face it, no matter how successful some of us are — or well educated or well trained — many of us (including myself) have secret thoughts that they don’t deserve the success that’s either bestowed on us or that we’re reaching for.
Usually this manifests with being afraid to try: to cold call that agent, apply for the funding, go on that audition, even tell your friends and family members your ideas. We hold ourselves back OR when we do get that promotion we get worried people won’t think we’re talented enough and we will be “found out.” We compare ourselves to others, we walk around with the most NEGATIVE thoughts in our brains and we feel depressed that we suck and can’t pull out of it.
The idea here is to not blame yourself for your imposter syndrome — we’ve picked up and internalized messages since we were a child that confirmed our worst fears. Valerie’s book cites many studies that show us how men and white people are picked over women and minorities all the time. Or, maybe our parents never told us we could accomplish our dreams with lots of planning and hard work.
Valerie says the idea isn’t to cure our imposter syndrome; it’s to have imposter moments in our lives not live an “imposter life.” Three of her simple tips teach us how to manage these emotions which, PS, can’t be talked away.
Uhm....you hit it out of the park. KhrystyAna didn't intend to be a Top Model or start a social movement, but she did both last year just by making two simple decisions. One, she tenaciously went after the audition and two she created an Instagram feed that shows all sides of herself, completely unfiltered. In this raw and powerful interview, you'll hear how a sweet woman with a tender heart mustered up the courage to continue to pursue modeling into her thirties. Not only was she determined to to break down age barriers, she stopped photoshopping her pics and started posting real shots that show her curves, her rolls, her thighs -- the truth of what we all look like without lights, camera, makeup and filters. Tyra and the rest of American fell in love with her. She now has an Instagram following that's over 300K (it's literally the most gorgeous and inspiring feed you can imagine). She's a self worth educator, fights for human rights by encouraging inclusivity and argues that every shape and size should be represented in the fashion world. She's a warrior for plus size models, women across the spectrum and the LGBTQI community. If you're looking for a new crush, go no further. Spurred on by her own exhaustion at trying to please her "old" following and fit into some unrealistic expectation of what a woman should look like, this woman who immigrated to American with her mother unintentionally started a movement. What's amazing about KhrystyAna is she's soft spoken and still -- sometimes -- has a hard time setting boundaries. She's like most women I know, confident in some ways and still learning to use her power in voice in what's still a man's world. We talk about how we both struggle, at times, with letting go of any trepidation when we post something, afraid of how it might be perceived. She tells me how men, after the first unfiltered post, stopped following her but because it was reposted by a female empowered Instagram account, she gained a whole new tribe. She tells me her life story and how The Real Catwalk changed her life; The Real Catwalk is a popup runway show of women who walk through pubic places in lingerie or bikinis to show the world what people and their bodies really look like. For more information on KhrystyAna follow her on Instagram @khrystyAna
This episode is literally a super charged free therapy session. Dana James, triple certified nutritionist, stopped by the studio to wrap with Nell about her new book, and they dive right in to body types, eating disorders and how your childhood "imprints" shape the way you view yourself and your relationship with food. Dana's book The Archetype Diet was created for women who want to reclaim their self worth for good. With over two decade's worth of clinical experience between these women, treating patients in their respective private practices, you'll get lots of practical tips on how to drastically improve your mental and physical health using food, not psychiatric medication. Dana has come up with a theory that we eat and gain and lose weight according to our archetype: the Femme Fatale, the Superwoman, the Ethereal, or the Nurturer. You can take a test on her website www.danajames.com to figure out which one you are. Her book gives plenty of recipes and tells you what to eat based on your results.
Jess Lively, podcast host of The Jess Lively Show (which has over 10 million downloads) do a deep dive on all things spiritual. We talk channeling, how to achieve flow states, and openly challenge the popular stereotype of what an enlightened being looks like (usually a man). We finish off the conversation trying to articulate what is must feel like to be an enlightened master and how ones goes about “achieving” enlightenment. Can we all “live outside our heads?” This episode is a ride, so hold on. Jess is honest and raw and the conversation took me to a place I didn't expect. I find Jess brave to talk about her spiritual beliefs so openly. You're going to hear some of my experiences as well that may, for some, be a bit woo woo. We speak quickly and you'll hear two women trying to articulate some very complex topics. For more information on my journey and concepts around consciousness hit some of my earlier episodes, especially those with Dr. Eben Alexander. Books and concepts mentioned in this episode that are cool to read for a better understanding of what the heck Jess and I are talking about try: Micheal Singer Abraham Hicks Eckert Toile Katie Byron
Erica Keswin, author of Bring Your Human to Work gives us practical tips on how we can create more successful businesses by focusing on our relationships with each other and by practicing mindful technology strategies. Before she goes, we get real. We talk about what’s it like to care for elderly parents and children at the same time, how women can’t do everything — at the same time — and how we all struggle with balance.
Bringing your human to work means being a thoughtful leader that walks the walk. For more info check out Erica’s website at www.ericakeswin.com
- Claire Fountain is a celebrity yoga teacher and influencer (yes, just check out her Instagram feed, she's done partnerships with big brands like Nike, Amazon and some very cool artists you'll absolutely recognize). Claire's also a writer, business owner and graduate student. She broke molds when she began posing for the gram since she doesn't have the typical yoga body and she wears glasses in all her pics which I LOVE LOVE LOVE. We talked about imposter syndrome, giving credible life advice, feminism and how we try and navigate the double bind we find ourselves in with social media -- to post or not to post that sexy picture of myself situ. We also talk about eating disorders, career insecurities and my fantasy of doling out life advice in Times Square. Need more info or support? Go to:
Gretchen Rubin, the multiple NYT bestselling author of books such as The Happiness Project and The Four Tendencies stops by the studio and gets real with us. She tells Nell what she really thinks of our ability to achieve more joy in our lives and answers all of those silly but illuminating questions fellow writers want to know like will she ever grace us with a children's book? Does she miss writing biographies? Does she stick to her resolutions? Nell and Gretchen nerd out over American history, psychology and what the future holds for someone like her. For more information and some links to things we talk about click below (like her online classes and books we reference): www.gretchenrubin.com Elizabeth Gilbert's book on marriage is called Committed: A Love Story Gretchen's podcast HAPPIER can be found here and on all the usual suspects: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/panoply/happier-with-grechen-rubin
She's a cult NYC figure -- a female DJ (yeah, it's actually a male dominated field), artist, teacher and savvy business woman -- who explains to us that sound changes EVERYTHING and why we MUST dance in order to thrive. And guess what? She's got the knowledge and experience to back it all up. Plus, she'll open about her journey. Tasha was totally lost after college, had a failing business for six years and then went on to build The Get Down events, a wellness dance community and an up and coming global brand with digital products. Can anyone say disruptor? She isn't just telling people to move, she's creating a movement. Resources: www.tashablank.com www.movethecrowd.com
After hosting the LARGEST underground poker came in the world for the likes of Toby McGuire, Ben Afflek, Leonardo DiCaprio, athletes like A-Rod and international billionaires, Molly Bloom publicly lost everything when the Federal government indicted her. How does one even begin to rebuild a life? Molly tells us how she went from pleading guilty to convincing Aaron Sorkin to write and direct what became her life's story which was subsequently nominated for an Oscar. She credits sobriety, her loving mother, her tenacious spirit and putting one foot in front of the other. You can't help but fall in love with Molly, and hold on, her ride has just begun- and she's only forty. Connect with Molly at: www.iammollybloom.com
Creator and host of the "Terrible Thanks for Asking Podcast; Nora McInery is all about getting real (obviously)
Widow, Blended Mother, Author, Entrepreneur and all-around amazing person Nora McInery and I get deep and connect with a genuine conversation on her story and how grief shows up in all of our lives.
Her bestselling book, "It's Okay to Laugh, Crying is Cool Too" is a memoir of her marriage to husband Aaron who tragically died of brain cancer. This occurred soon after loosing her father amidst many other huge life events.
Now Nora has found comfort in speaking and writing about grief. Having survived her husband's death the circumstances surround it; unafraid of it though experiencing it fully, she dove in to what grief is and how it presents in our lives.
Unlike everyone around us, Nora emphasizes how important it is to answer the question "How are you" with anything but the nonchalant (and almost roboticly inhuman response) "fine" - in order to begin uncovering your true self.
Nora's story and our conversation are an amazing example of a true emotional warrior who conquers her own emotion and leads the charge for you own well-being.
Melissa's journey to heal herself transformed into a passion to heal others. Raw and honest, she tells us how she went from being a life coach to a published author (following her intuition all the way home), how she first met and fell in love with her soul mate and now rockstar husband (yes, literally he's a rockstar), Nick Broadhurst, and how she came up with the idea to pen a book about sex and love -- which is now the bestselling guide entitled Open Wide. But wait, she doesn't stop there.
She gives us practical tips on how all of us can communicate better. I can tell you from spending years as a psychotherapist this woman is the real deal. And, simply put, cool as hell. Part artist, part spiritualist, part healer, part warrior woman, part business savvy guru -- you'll enjoy this convo. Trust me.
A moving one hour interview between myself and a former heroin addict. It's about her journey, her sobriety and our relationship. It's for anyone who is struggling with addiction or is having a hard time because someone they love is.
Have you ever been curious about this metaphysical practice but turned your nose up? I was just like you, until I met Kitty. Are our lives ruled by the planetary system to some extent? A renown astrologer schools us on the basics.