BALBOA PARK #13 - I love stories when nothing happens

25 dez 2023 · BALBOA PARK

🎄💕✨🦞🎁

Welcome to Balboa Park.

I am Nicoz Balboa.

I am a trans man living in France and I'm Italian.

I'm a mom because I have a -teen- daughter.

I am a tattooer and I do graphic novels.

And in this podcast I like to talk about my creative process in a broad way as a way of knowing myself.

Welcome to episode 13 of Balboa Park.

I'm in my bed which is my studio, until the day I will have a real microphone, what I find is like I use this wired headphone and I'm in my bed because it's the space which is the more soundproof space of my house so I'm sure that I don't have a big echo.

I'm sipping my coffee and I wanted to go to the gym but actually I'm in bed.

It's like 9.53 in the morning.

I should be going like in 45 minutes.

I should be going to my studio Strangeland

And so I was like, okay, I should shower or I should dress and go to the gym and all I wanted to do is watch at least another episode from The Crown.

and I as soon as I thought about this and the fact that Christmas is coming and I will not have a lot of time to record a podcast and I thought to myself okay maybe I should

record the podcast about The Crown not not the Crown like i'm not going to talk about the Queen and the royal family which i i don't care very much but about… but about the tv show which is my favorite show to watch while i draw because it's like having an aquarium!

Nothing really is going on in the show.

There is no thick plot with like changing of the story or something like this.

And every time I look up at the television, or at the screen, I see these very beautiful colors and landscape or interiors or

hairstyles, very vintage-looking, like now I'm in the 90s, before it was like the 80s or the 70s and so on.

And so I thought to come here and talk about how I love a show where there is no plot, where nothing happens and all the things that happen, I know them already

because

We already know what did happen in the royal family.

It's like in the tabloids.

So like in some way you are waiting for things to happen, but are things that you already know.

So there is no surprise.

(There is a little bit of a very light hint of propaganda for the royal family maybe).

I guess the fact that in the last seasons, they chose this actor to portray Charles, the now King Charles.

Now the actor is a very handsome man and very smart, but very sensitive.

I don't know anything about the royal family, but it's not something that came up to me when I used to see Prince Charles, but maybe I don't know very well.

But now they choose this very cool actor and they make the king of England now look like a very cool guy and very cute and very positive masculinity man

But I'm not into conspiracy theories, I'm not going into the rabbit hole of thinking: “oh, they did this show to prepare the things to make people like the monarchy”.

I don't care about this.

I just care about the aesthetic. and the fact that the polt is slow and *nothing* happens.

I like when there is no plot.

And for example, I remember when I was a teenager,

and reading for the first time THE CATCHER IN THE RYE from J. D. Salinger

In Italian the title is THE YOUNG OLDEN and in French they translate it in THE CATCHER IN THE HEART or THE HEART CATCHER or something like this.

So THE CATCHER IN THE RYE… It stays one of my favorite books.

And the first time I read it, when I was a teenager and I was studying at school, where we were obliged to study books with a real plot, with meaning and symbols and history.

And this book came to my hand, I don't know, maybe from a friend or I don't remember (it was 1995!)

And I was like, wow, nothing happens, nothing, like, just there is no, like, the plot, maybe there is in some way, but not how I was used to.

And I loved it because the plot and the story and the hero's journey is all in Holden Caulfield’s mind!

we can read his mind we can listen to his thoughts and it's beautiful because his thoughts are not heroic. I felt a pull, a connection, with this kind of narration i like when there is no plot i feel so much when the narration takes time and it's slow and i can see the small gesture, follow the small gesture, the small thoughts.

I like this so much.

In some way, I can think of a lot of examples about this, but the other day I was looking at this on Netflix, a movie from this Italian-Turkish director, his name is Ferzan Özpetek,

and since the 90s he's doing in Italy movies about stories, human stories, but often are like queer people/homosexual men’s s stories.

There is no big plot, just small human stories or human dramas

And it's so delicate.

And the other day I was seeing his last movie on Netflix, and it felt so good, especially because a lot of his movies take place in Rome, which is my hometown.

So when I'm in La Rochelle seeing images about Rome, it's like my heart breaks.

And so I was thinking about, I love to see a movie or a story or reading a book or a comic where there is no plot.

where there is not writer/storyteller/screenwriter show off!

I love this so much.

We can't have always have the same type of stories!

it's like, if you like music, you can't always listen to, I don't know, if you like metal music, you can't maybe always listen to metal.

Or if you like opera, you can't always listen to opera.

It's like sometimes you are in the elevator or you are in the car and you listen to the radio and it's cool.

It's like reading.

You can't always read one type of book because sometimes you are in the waiting room of your doctor and there is a gossip magazine and you want to read about the royal family or I don't know.

Like if you like reading, if you like listen to the music, if you like stories, but maybe the stories that match your emotions may vary according to what you're living.

And I guess it's okay.

Um, for example, I used to love a lot to watch CSI (es experts in French)

and in the early 2000 it was very innovative ! because they had this police investigation mixed with CGI in where you can see how the crime were about to be solved and how the bullet went into the head of the guy or something like this.

And I loved to see this.

I was like, oh, wow, the bullet did this!!!!!

And I remember my ex-husband at the time, every time he saw me watching the show, he was like:

-ah, you're watching CSI.

-Yes.This is amazing.

-and what's happening? what’s going on?

And I was always like:

I don't know, I don't understand the story, but I like the intrigue.

And it's like the other day I was drawing in my living room and I watched this series called REACHER.

This is a TV show, I guess it's Amazon or Netflix, I don't remember.

And there is these guys who play REACHER, which is so handsome, so tall and so muscly and a little bit on a spectrum because it's like very, very neat.

I don't know.

He always tells the truth and he's so cool.

And there is all sorts of intrigue because he's investigating on the death of his brother.

But at the beginning, we don't know that It's brother who's dead.

Sorry for the spoiler, but it's like at the very beginning.

And all this intrigue and this character, and I watch it because he's handsome, but I don't understand a thing.

He works with these two police people: one is this police girl and the other is an inspector.

And for the whole movie, the whole series, I was like, I guess the inspector maybe is not a good guy.

Maybe it's a bad guy and we will have a changing in the plot.

And I guess that is not true.

I never understand the plot.

And

Why am I talking about this?

I don't know.

I wanted to talk about this because sometimes inspiration can come from everywhere.

It's not because you write poetry that you only have to read poetry.

It's cool to enjoy all sorts of things and keeping an open heart.

And maybe when I write my graphic novels, for example, I have no judgment around what kind of story I want to make in my graphic novels or what kind of story I'm reading.

But I know maybe that I like when I feel this connection, maybe because I want what I read to resonate with what I feel. and with ADHD my feelings are a bit all over the place.

but….

I would like to hear from you.

Send me messages with a list of your three favorite stories.

It can be books, or TV shows, or movies, or comics, or graphic novels.

I don't know.

All them mixed together.

And with these, I finish this mail!

telling you:

Merry Christmas or maybe Merry Happy New Year.

because Christmas was yesterday (I’m planning and automating sending)

We are at the end of 2023 and beginning on 2024 and it's cool.

If you like what you hear subscribe to the podcast wherever you are listening it to

maybe you can rate it (with five stars :P ) and if you want to dig deeper and support what I do with the podcast you can even for free but just come and subscribe!

and if you want to know more this is my website: nicozbalboastudio.com with all in it!

Thank you and have a great holiday season.

I hope you feel loved.

I hope you feel seen.

I hope you are spending a good time.

I hope you are safe and

if you don't, remember that I love you and that I see you and I care about you so hit me if you need to talk and send me a message

bye bye

XXX

Nicoz

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nicozbalboa.substack.com

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Episódios

BALBOA PARK #26 - the creative process behind covering an old tattoo
6 jun· BALBOA PARK
Hello, my friend.
Welcome to Episode 26 of Balboa Park podcast & newsletter. (content is the same, minus the images for the audio version, and you can choose if you want to read the mail/substack post or listen to my voice -CW strong italian accent!-)
Today, I’m shifting gears from telling you about painting, drawing, setting up the creative nest, and graphic journaling to talk about my approach to tattooing, especially the fascinating challenge of cover-up tattoos.
I felt inspired to discuss this topic because this morning, while posting on Instagram—a whole new chapter for me—I realized I have many feelings about the platform. Despite my efforts, I still haven’t managed to understand it fully. As I’ve mentioned in past episodes, I don’t want Instagram to become too much work. So, I have only one account for posting tattoos, illustrations, news, podcast, life, silliness (and I have one for my graphic journal club which is actually a lot of repost from the original account).
It's been a long time since I last posted. Partly because I have a lot going on: promoting the newsletter, this podcast, the Strangeland podcast (in French), and Strangeland Studio activities. Plus, I’m working on the series, The New Perimeter, which you already know about from the newsletter. I thought, “OK, I need to post a tattoo,” but I also want to engage in a conversation about my creative process. Sharing this here on the podcast seems like a fun way to do that because tattooing is very cool and challenging. It’s also a primal way for us to reclaim ownership of our bodies.
Tattooing (like practicing yoga, buying a new pair of shoes, or getting a haircut etcetera) connects us to our bodies. It’s euphoric to do something that makes us feel more human. I love doing and getting tattoos, but sometimes, things go wrong.
(but it can happens that) You might end up with a tattoo you don’t like, or it fades over the years, or you simply no longer want it on your skin. Laser removal is an option, but it’s expensive, painful, and less fun than getting a cover-up tattoo. A well-done cover-up leaves you with a cool tattoo that doesn’t look like a cover-up at all. For me, creating cover-ups is a fascinating challenge.
Cover-up tattoos are a unique art form requiring creativity, skill, and a deep understanding of both the old and new designs. Today, I want to share my process with you. Whether you’re a tattoo artist or considering a cover-up yourself, I hope this is insightful.
The Process of Creating a Cover-Up Tattoo
Firstly, I start with the initial sketching phase. I begin by cleaning the skin, shaving any hair, and then using a light yellow Sharpie to draw directly on the old tattoo. This step is crucial as it helps both me and the client visualize potential shapes and sizes for the new design. The cover-up needs to be at least two-thirds larger than the original tattoo to avoid looking too dark or obviously covered up.
Once the basic shape and size are sketched, I check in with my client. We look in the mirror to see the area of the skin that will be covered. Although we still don’t have a detailed design, this step ensures the client is happy with the general size and shape.
Communication is key in tattooing, especially with cover-ups. I want my clients to feel involved and satisfied with every step of the process. After getting the initial approval, I move on to detailed composition. Using darker colors like orange, pink, or light green, I refine the design. This phase, which I call the “pomme de terre” (potato phase), brings the new tattoo to life in rough forms.
I always have another check-in with the client during this phase. They often can’t see the design while I’m drawing, so it’s important to take breaks and review the progress in the mirror together. Clients sometimes suggest changes, and while not all ideas are feasible, I’m always open to discussion. Freehand tattooing is a collaborative process, and through dialogue, we always find a compromise.
Once the design is finalized, I retrace it with a darker marker—never black, as it can be confusing during the tattooing process. Then, the real transformation begins. Those messy colored lines turn into a beautiful, cohesive tattoo.
Final Thoughts
Covering up tattoos is an intricate process that requires skill, vision, and patience. It’s not just about technical ability; it’s a deeply collaborative effort between the artist and the client.
Trust is fundamental in this process. When clients choose an artist, they are placing their confidence in the artist's style, vision, and expertise. They are entrusting the artist with a part of their body and a piece of their story. This relationship is built on mutual respect and open communication.
The satisfaction of transforming an old tattoo into something new and beautiful is immensely rewarding for both the client and the artist.
It’s a journey of creative transformation that can breathe new life into a piece that was once a source of regret. If you ever find yourself in La Rochelle, Rome, or Paris with a tattoo you no longer love, feel free to reach out to me. I’m always excited about new cover-up projects and the opportunity to work together to create something you’ll cherish.
Thank you for joining me in this episode of Balboa Park. If you enjoyed what you read and heard, please share it on your social media or with a friend who might benefit from it—especially someone considering laser removal for a tattoo they’d be pleased to know that there’s always another option.
Don’t forget to subscribe, leave feedback, and give a five-star rating if you liked this episode.
Thank you so much for reading, and I hope to talk to you very soon.
Bye-bye.
PS: I leave you with more exemples of cover ups I did. I did a lot more but, I mean, you got the idea :)

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BALBOA PARK #25 - Taylor Swift made me realize something
9 mai· BALBOA PARK
Hey my friend here’s another email for you with another episode of the podcast about "using creativity-observation as a way to self-knowledge” (at least I try!)
Because finding ways to stay in contact with our emotions way is very important those days, because
When the going gets tough, the tough get going
no, wait wait… it’s more:
When the going gets tough, the SOFT get going
but I can’t explain more, If you want to know why/how tune into this BALBOA PARK Episode!
and also learn what Taylor Swift thought me (whaaat?)
and please do’nt forget to:
and
have a nice day!
XXX
Nicoz
PS, Show notes:
My website: https://www.nicozbalboastudio.com/
Graphic Journal Club: https://www.patreon.com/graphicjournalclub
Podcast/Newsletter https://nicozbalboa.substack.com/
my studio in La Rochelle, Strangeland: https://www.strangeland.fr/
Strangeland non-profit : https://www.helloasso.com/associations/strangeland/
My tattoo page: https://encre.me/strangeland-x-nicoz-balboa
Strangeland podcast episodes (in French)): https://www.strangeland.fr/blog

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BALBOA PARK #24 - the best way to post on social media
25 abr· BALBOA PARK
to know more:
nicozbalboastudio.com
or subscribe to my newsletter to have all the episodes right in your inbox (+ bonus images): https://nicozbalboa.substack.com/

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nicozbalboa.substack.com
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BALBOA PARK #23 - how to set up for creating successfully
6 abr· BALBOA PARK
in last episode of the podcast we (I) talked about the difference between Creating AND Creating Content (are you an artist, do you have an artistic practice? and do you have/enjoy/struggle with social media? how to differentiate the 2 actions)
and today I talk about “creation” and I will tell you all those things, habits, practices that make creating easier for me. maybe some of those are well known maybe not. Anyway I hope you’ll find this episode precious to nurrish your creativity!
Enjoy this episode. and next week I will talk about creating content on social media when you are an artists and/or a freelancer.
XXX
Nicoz
ps: here, as a bonus, all those images I promise you in the episode aka the creative MESS

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BALBOA PARK #22 - are you creating or creating content?
30 mar· BALBOA PARK
a new podcast episode in which I ask myself questions around creating content on social media. I’m not sure if I have the answers.
this episode may interest you if you feel sometimes (often?) overwhelmed by posting on instagram and by the algorithm.
it’s a short episode.
thanks for walking with me in the (Balboa) Park.
xxx
Nicoz

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BALBOA PARK #21 - I'm so jealous!
11 mar· BALBOA PARK
hello my friend how are you today?
it’s been a long time since I didn’t send an update about the writing/sketching of my next book.
you didn’t receive any update because I didn’t manage to work on it and it’s quite frustrating.
the think is that those days are full of stress in making Strangeland surviving and my only artistic activity are tattooing and (luckily) my Graphic Journaling practice.
I’m dreaming of the days in which Strangeland will not need so much energy (and money) from me in order to survive… that day I will be able to be back on my book writing/sketching!
speaking of surviving, if you want to support Strangeland as an indipendent Queer Art space in La Rochelle you can Donate or even become a Member .
but let’s go back to the podcast! you have here the last episode: episode 21! (at least I take 2 hours a week to commit to the podcast!) I hope you enjoy it!
today’s Episode it’s a follow up of Episode #20* (last episode) and it’s about turning Jealousy into an useful feeling!
how? listen! :D
*if you didn’t listened to Episode 20 yet, down here you can find it:
Show notes:
My website: https://www.nicozbalboastudio.com/
Graphic Journal Club: https://www.patreon.com/graphicjournalclub
Strangeland
https://www.strangeland.fr/
Episode show notes:
Get Into The Groove: https://www.nicozbalboastudio.com/2020/04/05/get-into-the-groove/
Lynda Barry:

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BALBOA PARK #20 - why I judge people who live draws on Insta or Twitch
4 mar· BALBOA PARK
as usual WELCOME TO BALBOA PARK
how are you this Monday? you will understand those pictures once you will have listened to today’s episode.
Today I talk about the WHY behind my judging. do you judge? but also are you afraid of being judged?
this episode is for you.
show notes:
Show notes
My website: https://www.nicozbalboastudio.com/
Graphic Journal Club: https://www.patreon.com/graphicjournalclub
my sleeping Twitch channel: https://www.twitch.tv/nicozbalboa
Subscribe to my newsletter to receive even the podcast in your inbox:
and if you’ve found this episode interesting share in on your social media :)

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BALBOA PARK #19 - I didn’t want to record this episode
26 fev· BALBOA PARK
hello hello welcome to the transcription of BALBOA PARK #19! here you can read the transcription of this episode AND see the Graphic Journal pages I talk about in this episode.
the transcription is generated by substack and it’s a bit silly without “,” or “.” but I left it as it is. if it’s weird let me know and the next time I will rewrite it!
enjoy:
how are you today i'm for on my side i am very very very overwhelmed and busy because i am so much into paperwork for my STRANGELAND charity as i was talking about last time but
I'm preparing a trip to Paris I'm going to Paris in like 10 days something like this I'm going to do a guest tattoo
and I'm also going there for AIDES.
It's a charity that fight against the HIV, the hepatitis and all the blood and sexual transmissible disease and they
I mostly work with the population that are exposed to this kind of disease and so they started with men having sexual relationships with other men but then during the years their target changed and
they also work with people in prison and also migrants and sex workers and they also work with trans the trans community and there is the place I do I I welcome I don't know to say the
trans people support group but I'm going to Paris to get a little bit more trained around the other aspect of this this charity so that I can I want to involve a little bit more into this this charity it's not at all art and drawing related but
especially in the moment and period of time in which I feel overwhelmed and I feel like low and I feel I don′t feel very good and I feel stressed and taking this time of getting out of my brain and say to myself okay maybe
so I can spend the next, I don't know, hours trying to do something else, something not for me and it's very difficult because the more I'm overwhelmed and the more it's difficult to try to do things that feels good in some way or at least doing things that get me, that distract me from this state of feeling pity for myself
for example today I was like in silly and not so silly practical things economical things and and I was like I know that if I only step one foot outside of my house outside of my home and I go to the gym for example
I know for a fact that after a gym session I will feel better, I will feel good but I couldn't manage to do this I was in some kind of executive paralysis you know I have so many things to do
that actually I can't choose one to start off so I just stay frozen in the middle of all the things I know I have to do.
Volunteering in this charity or volunteering for the group
the thing is even though sometimes I'm like oh f**k tonight is the support group I wanted to stay in because Monday is my free day and I wanted just to stay in my pajamas and watch Netflix or I don't know but instead I have to go there because it it's once a month on the Monday it's already this time of the month I have to go
because it's always it's I don't know maybe there are people that are always oh yes let's go let's do this and let's do other things but for me it's always always very difficult to do different things that I'm doing go to a different state but once I go there I spend these two hours in which I'm not in my brain and in which I'm at service
and I can't remember where I read this but the fastest way of getting out of feeling pity for ourselves or getting out of being overwhelmed is do one action to be at service for somebody else.
and especially when you don′t feel good, when you suffer with depression or anxiety or ADHD or I don′t know.
For me, for example, it′s like I′m living in this state of I′m the one who needs help, I feel anxious, I feel depressed and everything.
but when i do something to be at service it actually switch off my brain and make my my mood change and it feels very good anyway i'm talking talking talking but today monday what day is today monday
February 26th I couldn't manage to be a lot of service and not even going to the gym I had a pretty productive morning but then I have an appointment with my bank because I have a problem with my bank account anyway problem I wouldn't not have of course if I was a rich but I'm not so I'm making trying to make
all things stays in their place and so my partner went out for a workshop they give and I was like in my bed
and I said okay I should record the podcast and then I started like scrolling for one hour on Instagram and I usually I use this app called OPAL I use the free version I'm not paid today to say this but it's a
an app that switch off my social medias but today it is my my free day it's my day off and i was like okay i'm this i'm blocking opal just for the day so i spent one hour scrolling like silly video dance video animal video anyway
and then I said okay no podcast for today and of course in the moment I said to myself no podcast for today I wanted to go record the podcast so here I am recording and I was still in this not very creative week which is very frustrating but
I kicked myself in the butt and I said okay do what you f*****g preach go back to the graphic journal practice and so
something i found very helpful those days and that this is what i wanted to share with you is that so what i do for a living is drawing the majority is tattooing and then i have illustration works and then i am selling my prints
so all this is drawing and then I have graphic novel drawing and then I teach graphic journal so it's about writing but mostly drawing and so for a long time my way of enjoying my art practice was and in some way it sort of is still is drawing
but in those days I feel overwhelmed I feel that I can't connect with my creativity because in some way I want to stay in this in this uncomfortable feeling because I want to have pity for myself or also because maybe it's just like ADHD that
since I'm doing a lot of paper works for my work and for STRANGELAND sometimes I have things that I have to do like paper works that doesn't resolve the moment I finish because I have to wait for the bank or the state to send me confirmation and feedbacks and this can take days
in those moments while I‭'‬m waiting for the feedback those days.
My mind can‭'‬t relax and I can‭'‬t help to stay in this hyper focus of OK, I did the paperwork and now I‭'‬m waiting for the response and until the day the response doesn‭'‬t arrive
I don’t have the space to start my creativity moment, my drawing, my painting, those things that I know that make me feel alive and happy and joyful.
So these past two weeks I find out that sometimes I feel the pressure of having this graphic journal
waiting for me looking at me and mocking me and telling me you are not creative you are not doing any graphic journal pages so maybe you are an impostor because you want to teach people how to have a graphic journal practice and you don't even have one those days you can't even
to practice what you tell people to do and so I was like oh my oh my oh my and so the guilt and the fear and the shame all is mixed up and it's a mess what doing those days when you feel the pressure of like I should be doing something but I can't what do you do I don't know what do you do but what did what I what I did was like
I trick myself I don't know how to say it in English I mock myself I'm not sure about the term but I trick myself maybe this is the term I trick myself into approaching a moment to my graphic journal but I don't start my first page in days by a drawing
what I do it's I start with something that has nothing to do with what I usually do and for some people maybe can be just start writing or for people who like to write and have a block in writing maybe can be start drawing your self portrait for example this is something we do in the Graphic Journal class but for me the self portrait is something I do and so it's
my brain recognized this practice as you want to trick me into feel good I don't want to do this so what I do is I start a collage
yes I do a collage I always keep all sort of cards and things and stuff and so I have a small drawer in which I put all my scrap papers all my things and so I
I start cutting and this is like just start flip through the page of magazine or like also free magazine from the supermarket or like random things I start to flip and I start to notice the words and the shapes and the colors that I like and I start cutting and maybe I spent half an hour cutting
and it’s very very calming on me it’s very soothing because there is no creativity I’m just like fishing for image and words
I cut I cut and then when I feel like okay I have enough material then I pick all these materials and I start gluing on the paper I don't think before what I want to do maybe I have some shapes that while I was cutting them I saw something like oh maybe this can be
the centerpiece or maybe those elements can be a cool frame but I don't think about it before gluing them the element I don't put the element on the page and then I decide where things go and move things around and then start gluing I just start and I don't care about the result
and this for me it's very nice because since i i can't turn this collage into work i'm not drawing something just for the pleasure and then i say i think oh maybe this can become a painting or maybe this can become a tattoo flash that i can propose to people and i can sell to people this is just collage so i start gluing and then i
just to play with what I see and I realized that maybe I already talked about collage I don‡t remember but
anyway i'm doing this maybe in the past three weeks or something like this every time i want to start my graphic journaling practice and i can't manage to start i know i realized that when i do one collage maybe i take one hour once i did a collage i have opened the gate and i feel safe enough and i realized that
this moment in which I'm seated maybe it's like after dinner maybe I'm with my family we are watching a movie or you if you don't have time during the day to take one whole hour of course to just make a collage who has this spare time one hour is a way too much time to in those times but of course if you take time to watch a TV show
in bed or with your time I guess that you you can try to while you are watching this maybe you can start your graphic journaling practice anyway when I finish my collage feel safe I feel okay I have my barrier my mind shut the f**k up and I am connected with this magical
with the energy, the creative energy that make me feel so good and make me feel supported and make me feel centered and make me feel joyful and then when I'm in this place I can also start then drawing and sometimes I draw more than one page in one night
and even though sometimes the things I draw can be things that you read them and you're like oh they are very sad or you sound depressed or anxious or angry I don't know but
doesn't matter what you put on the paper you can be creating or writing the most sad story but still being in the place of being so joyful because you are connected to your soul aka your creative energy so this is all for today thank you so much for bearing with me in this
observing the creative process journey in this podcast I'm not sure if people other than my partner is listening to it but never mind you will be listening wherever it's the moment the practice of recording it feels good anyway if you are listening
and you actually enjoyed what you just listened maybe you can consider to give five stars on whatever platform you are listening or maybe you can come and subscribe to my newsletter on Substack because it's there that my podcast has been made and so when you subscribe you receive each new in your inbox.
and if you want to practice the graphic journal what you can do you can follow my Instagram and I have an Instagram specific for the graphic journal which is instagram.com/momeskine it's like mom and moleskine
the journal and then you can also come on patreon which is patreon.com/graphicjournalclub and there is the place where I give classes and we gather on zoom and it's very cool I enjoy this moment very much for all other infos you can go on NicozBalboastudio.com
and there you have all you need all the links to everywhere I'm talking about thank you so much love you bye bye
Show notes
Groupe de parole Trans https://strangelandqueer.wixsite.com/groupe-trans-lr
Subscribe to my newsletter to receive even the podcast in your inbox:
AIDES
https://www.aides.org/
OPAL
https://www.opal.so/
Strangeland https://www.strangeland.fr/

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BALBOA PARK #18 - are you afraid of being CANCELLED?
14 fev· BALBOA PARK
Hey HAPPY VALENTINE’s DAY!
here’s for you a new podcast episode! the theme:
are you afraid of being judged, OR WORST, CANCELLED?
Show notes
My website: https://www.nicozbalboastudio.com/
Sanremo https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sanremo_Music_Festival
Graphic Journal, take the class https://shorturl.at/vCKW7
Groupe de parole Trans https://strangelandqueer.wixsite.com/groupe-trans-lr
Cancel culture (aka I’m all in for accountability while being against bullying) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cancel_culture
Onami podcast https://www.mamionami.com/podcast
Onami F*ckless https://www.amazon.com/ckless-objective-step-step-authenticity/dp/B0C526FC2N
Subscribe to my newsletter to receive even the podcast in your inbox: https://nicozbalboa.substack.com/

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BALBOA PARK #17 - Inhaling Lou Sullivan / exhaling for the Introverts
31 jan· BALBOA PARK
new podcast episode!
you can listen to it or read the transcript down below (in the transcript some pictures to illustrate what i’m talking about, so you might scroll through the transcript anyway before listening) + the show notes are at the end of the transcript:
Hello, good morning, good night, good evening.
Whenever you are listening to this podcast, I am Nicoz Balboa and this is Balboa Park.
I am a trans man.
I'm Italian and I'm living in France for more than 20 years.
I have a teen daughter and I'm a mom.
I'm a tattoo artist and I do graphic novels in Italy and in France.
And in this podcast, I want to talk about the creative process as a way
to self-knowledge welcome episode 17 i still don't have a jingle and i'm assuming that even if i'm not using this this is the first season of this podcast and maybe next year i will manage to record a jingle or make some friends doing a jingle or i don't know for now no jingle just me
talking in my own podcast studio which is my bed and of course my podcast outfit is wearing a pyjama or a tracksuit
and i'm joking about this but i actually and i already talked about it i feel very good when i have to create to be in a comfortable outfit even though those days I knew record the podcast always around Monday or Tuesday.
Today I said to myself I must record the podcast and I have to tell it was very hard to concentrate to put myself in the state of mind of being here and express myself and having an outward energy and so I was
okay maybe i can talk about this it's it's something i often talk so maybe pardon me if i already say this but i firmly believe that we can't
Always, always, always be productive and be creative and be outward and be connected to our source inner creative energy and then go, go out in the world with our art or our words, for example, in the case of this podcast.
Sometimes there are moments that we feel that we must stay silent and maybe turn our eyes and our thoughts inward.
and I always use this analogy I don't remember if I read it somewhere I've been using this image in my mind to make sense since forever so pardon me if it's not from me and if you can tell me who said it before me I am very interested in this anyway
it's creativity I always say it's like breathing you can't always be exhaling you must inhale sometimes in order to to survive and to being able to continue exhaling it's a circle it's a how do you say it's a process it's inhale exhale inhale exhale I guess that those days I'm more
in the inhaling process.
Even though I've been very active, I finally turned Strangeland as I was saying the other day, I guess.
I turned Strangeland into a charity with the help of my partner and my friend and we turned Strangeland into this association in this charity so that we can create art class and exhibitions and all this for the LGBT community but also for
for allies and also for other people that want to use the artistic process as a way of feeling good.
I'm very happy.
I went through this period of grief, of grieving the fact that I'm not an entrepreneur and I felt some kind of failure and I was like, oh, I'm not the "winner type".
But I processed this and I own it and now I'm very, very happy and I can't wait to do things to make this association, this charity alive.
And so it was a very active week, but you know that I'm writing and drawing and sketching my next book.
So what I want to do is like telling
my story and my view around masculinity and what does masculinity mean for me and how does it change how my life has changed since my gender transition and I don't want to be all alone in telling this story and I want to use historical transmasculine people's stories to come with me into this journey of storytelling you know storytelling is a very strange
presumptuous word I guess that you you can use this word maybe if you are maybe Neil Gaiman or but anyway pardon me for using this word and so the other day I I was rereading the selection of the journal from Lou Sullivan and if you don't know Lou Sullivan I will put
some link in the show notes.
Lou Sullivan was as we know the first known trans man who identified as a gay man.
So in the 70s he got a lot a lot of difficulties to start his transition because when he went to the medical professor profession and they say you are a woman you want to
have sex with men so why you want to transition I'm doing it like this is a very shortcut but and he stood up for himself and actually helped society understand that gender identity and sexual preferences are not the same
and he was so involved and he made a newsletter and papers around transmasculine help and he was very cool and for his whole life he kept a journal and so there I probably already talked about this but or maybe not I talk about Lou Sullivan so much that I'm afraid that I'm
As we say in France, it's like the time, "redote", when somebody, especially we, the old peoples, we always say the same things, but who cares?
There is this book that is called, and we both laughed in pleasure, that is published by NightBoat, and it's a selection of his diaries.
And the other days I was reading and I was sketching and in a moment I wanted to see, it's from the Wisconsin to Milwaukee, I hope I pronounce it well, and I've never been there, I don't even know how, where is it, so in a moment I went to Google and I tapped Milwaukee and Wisconsin and
is birthed town and all those places to see the architecture, the nature, the position on the map.
And I got so sad because I felt so frustrated and so
powerless because i i was like oh i wish i would be like uh i was about to say a real writer or but maybe it was like most like i wish i would have real means to build up a research phase for book
and not having to go on Google Image, but I would like to be able to book a flight and say, okay, bye, I'm going in Wisconsin just to sketch houses and lakesides or something like this.
Don't even thinking about the fact that my papers aren't up to date.
So I'm not, I'm not sure that I will be able to travel.
because there is a picture on my paper that is not the picture that guards will see when I cross the borders but this is a problem for a future me because now I can't cope with paperwork anyway but anyway I was getting so sad and I was like I would like to go there and then I would like to go
to these archives in San Francisco, the GLBT Historical Society to maybe look at the Lou Sullivan journals and see pictures and get this connection before starting drawing.
And it was so sad and I was about to put myself in a position of being like desperate and powerless.
And then I pick up the book and I saw, I remember that the book, the Lou Sullivan diaries have been selected to turn them into one single book from these two people.
to Transmasculine People called Zach Ozma and Ellis Martin.
And I remember since I read the Lou Sullivan book since the first time, I remember that I follow these two people on Instagram.
And Zach Ozma is a poet, but also an artist.
And Ellis Martin is actually one person that worked for digitalizing
the queer history documents and work with the GLBT historical society.
So I dried my tears and I take the courage and I sent an email to these two amazing humans.
And Ellis Martin answered me and gave me a lot of tips and sent me the Lou Sullivan bibliography that is actually readable and also hooked me with somebody in the research department, in the archives department of the GLBT Historical Society.
And so I was able to access a digitalization of Lou Sullivan documents in order for me to continue my work.
And so I've spent those last days, so happy and so afraid to start going through all the stuff I started, but it's some kind of overwhelming because I guess I'm approaching, I'm not a scholar, I'm not an intellectual, I'm not somebody who knows how to approach archives and
uh studying university matter and so I'm I'm not moving with my brain I'm moving with my guts and with my emotions so every time I click on a folder and I open a digital box from Sullivan it it's it's too much and it's not too much but it's like it's a lot and it's beautiful and it's
also overwhelming um so i want to share this with you in this moment i'm taking all this in so i guess that i'm not able to to tell you what what is doing for me uh in which way i'm proceeding to continue my work because for now i'm just like okay i've stopped sketching i stopped drawing and i'm just
reading and seeing and watching and I'm so grateful for internet and to have a computer because I wouldn't be able to do this if maybe maybe one day I will be able to travel there but for now this is perfect and it it felt nice to to there
to reach out to some other people and just ask.
When the answer is positive, it's even better, of course.
This was my week.
Strangeland is a charity.
Lou Sullivan is in my Google Drive.
And the researching for my book is continuing.
And one other thing I did
this week before we say goodbye was like starting a new format for my graphic journal club you know I give those classes on zoom people can subscribe through my patreon page which is patreon.com slash graphic journal club and every second sunday of the month we have this graphic journal class which is more like a workshop two hours workshop in which
We work on drawing and we work on emotion and all this kind of stuff.
And now, since January, I had this new gathering on Zoom, because I like to gather on Zoom with the graphic journal Maniacs.
It will be every last Sunday of the month.
And at the beginning, I was thinking, OK, maybe it just can be like a draw together.
meeting on zoom there is no class we just meet and everybody drew what they want but i i wasn't sure and i was thinking maybe what i can do is like giving just one prompt and
I wasn't sure and then these very strange and serendipity things happened you know I for the whole month of January I was giving prompts of for doing one page a day one graphic journaling page a day and it happened on the Patreon page of course and in the graphic journal
club facebook group i started like putting down prompts since the beginning of january and then all the prompts were were down even before the beginning of the the challenge the graphic january challenge but
I put them like tidy in words into actual prompts every maybe three days.
Every three days I program three posters in my Patreon and on the Facebook group.
And the other day I was about to programming the 26th, 27th and 28th of the month.
and 28th of the month was Sunday and it was actually the date we had this Draw Together on Zoom programmed and in my prompt list there were sunsets.
It was just a word, a sunset.
And so when I was about preparing the prompt and writing them down in a nice infographic and everything,
I was, I thought, ah, maybe what can be fun that the sunset, it's a prompt in which we observe the sunset and we draw it on our graphic journal.
So instead of doing our page in the morning, as maybe we, we usually, everybody do, I can tell to people, today you're going to wait until sunset before doing your page.
and then I looked and it was 28 and it was the Sunday and we had the graphic journal Draw Together program for about the time of the sunset and so I was like oh my serendipity
and so I said okay this is the prompt sunset and maybe you can take a picture of the sunset or maybe you can think about the sunset and then we will gather together and we will draw the sunset and so what happened was like the the meeting the the class or the draw together was
program for one hour so what we do was like drawing we started with a very small meditation or not not even a meditation was like breathing exercise and then for 20 minutes we we drew and then we have a pause for two minutes we journal and then we continue our drawing for again
20 minutes and then we pause and we journal and then we exchange and it was about the sunset and it was about the symbol of what meant for us what we just drew and what we were about to experience we set the intention for this very same night and it was a very very very cool experience
And when we finished, my partner said, Oh, it was so beautiful to see all those introverts, like staying there with music and drawings all together, but not actually together.
Because the graphic journal class, we talk, and at least I talk a lot, we have prompts and different exercises.
But in this case, it was like we have this hour for drawing
just one page one drawing and then maybe yes we had the prompts and the questions but um it was way less talking and so when they say it was so beautiful seeing all those introverts
I had the idea of calling this new format of Graphic Journal Club the Introvert's Session.
So every last Sunday of the month on Zoom, we will gather together for the Introvert's Session.
I guess it's, it's beautiful.
It's a beautiful name.
If you want to try it,
the best thing is to go on patreon.com slash graphic journal club or you can maybe on my website there is also a page about graphic journal club and my website it's always nicozbalbostudio.com this was my week so far i hope that your week was cool and i hope that listen
listening me babbling about what i do in my creative life i hope it's inspiring for you it gives you idea and if you want to react or interact reach out to me you can come on on substack or you can subscribe to my newsletter on substack if it's not already done or you can find me on social media or on my
on the Graphic Journal Club Facebook group.
Anyway, it's modern times.
So I guess that there are many ways to interact.
That's all for today.
I love you.
Thank you for listening.
And please, if you enjoy this podcast, you can do two things.
Give it five stars :)
and rate it where in whichever platform are you listening get to and also maybe you can share it on your social media and maybe so you can make it arrive to other art passionate inner work passionate like me and like you I talk to you next week bye bye
SHOW NOTES:
Lou Sullivan: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lou_Sullivan
We Both Laughed in Pleasure: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/We_Both_Laughed_in_Pleasure
https://nightboat.org/book/we-both-laughed-in-pleasure-the-selected-diaries-of-lou-sullivan/
Ellis Martin: https://www.elliswmartin.com/
Zach Ozma: https://www.zachozma.com/
GLBT Historical Society San Francisco: https://www.glbthistory.org/
Strangeland charity: https://www.helloasso.com/associations/strangeland/
The Introvert’s Session: https://www.patreon.com/graphicjournalclub/shop/introverts-session-01-lets-draw-sunset-117418
fixed show notes:
My website: https://www.nicozbalboastudio.com/
Graphic Journal Club: https://www.patreon.com/graphicjournalclub
Substack: https://nicozbalboa.substack.com/
Strangeland: https://www.strangeland.fr/
Strangeland Charity: https://www.helloasso.com/associations/strangeland/

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BALBOA PARK #16 - spinning too many plates, a curse or a source of joy?
21 jan· BALBOA PARK
Hey happy Sunday! how is it going?
here’s a new episode. you can also check out the transcript on the podcast page if you prefer to read!
SHOW NOTES:
down here all the links and images that I quote or talk about in this Episode:
> the amazing: 30 day drawing habit
here’s some of my pages:
>Royal Academy Saturday Sketch Club, here’s some of my live drawings:
the movie Paint in wich Owen Wilson incarnate Rob Ross
the Documentary Wisconsin Pride , video down here: drawing while watching the documentary:
and we watched also Desperately Seeking Susan, it deserves its own video trailer:
Strangeland podcast episode (in French)):
fixed Show notes:
My website: https://www.nicozbalboastudio.com/
Graphic Journal Club: https://www.patreon.com/graphicjournalclub
Substack https://nicozbalboa.substack.com/
Strangeland.fr
enjoy the episode!

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BALBOA PARK #15 - ADHD talk about starting a new book and all the things (I think) are linked to it
11 jan· BALBOA PARK
Hello everyone and welcome to Balboa Park episode 15.
if you don’t want to listen, you can read a automatic retranscription down here:
If it's the first time you happen to listen to this podcast I am Nicoz Balboa.
I am an Italian French based trans man and I do tattoos and graphic novels and graphic journaling classes on Patreon.
Before we start
remember to activate the notification wherever you are listening this podcast or subscribe to substack to receive it in you inbox:
and maybe you can also leave a little review or even a comment! before we start I'm waiting for you let's do this
okay it's the second episode of 2024 but actually is the first one i'm recording because the other one i was i i did record it like on at the end of december and if you didn't listen to it it was all about
the graphic journaling practice and I did the class I was talking about and now I found the way like Patreon is the platform where I that I use to to gather the students and we meet there and from there you can pay your subscription and watch your replay and have the infos about the
the Zoom link from which we do the class each month and now they add a feature so that you can sell digital products and so what's happening is that last class we did last Sunday the class to start in a cool way and setting the intention for the new year
now it's available to purchase even if you are not a subscriber and it's like 15 bucks and if you are a subscriber it's free but if you don't want to subscribe because you don't want to catch the replay you don't want the community you don't want to you know you don't want to come to the live class you just want to cherry pick
once in a while and yeah come on patreon.com slash graphic journal club and just on in the shop section you can just take this class
thank you for listening this was a little ad sponsored by me for myself if you are listening this because you are a Substack subscriber and you received my newsletter
you already know that I am in the process of starting my new book I already talked about my previous book I'm not going to do it again because I don't want to bore you but if you have some doubt about things I'm talking about you can probably just go to my website www.nicosbalboastudio.com and there you can check my previous book
Anyway, I do graphic novels, I often do some sort of auto-fictions,
my last book Transformer also had this cool and prestigious prize of book of the year to a big comic festival in Italy the Luca Comics and it's some kind of big deal even if I didn't realize it but even still now sometimes I have people
oh you got the prize how is it going how your life has changed do you have so much book proposal and much work and no it's not I had yes few
proposal for podcast even in mainstream media in in Italy the thing is like it doesn't change because they are not paid gig I guess nothing has changed but I was I am
happy because it's cool when you work so much on something and then you got a prize I didn't think that it would make me happy but actually it's cool it's a cool sensation it's like oh cool you you actually read my book and enjoyed at the point that you give me a prize oh this is cool but
this this Christmas holiday this season holiday I
So I spent the Christmas with my mom.
She came all the way from Italy And we went in Lesignac-du-Rhin, which is a very small village in the west of France where my partner lived half of the time with their best friend and it's a very cool place and we went there for
for the Christmas, the Christmas Eve and it was a mix of friends and family and it was cool but it was like when I then I came back in La Rochelle with my mother and my daughter and we had a week of wandering around, touristing around
around La Rochelle and Ile de Ré, Ile de Ré is an island just in front of La Rochelle you can go there by a bus because there is a bridge now and it's some kind of another it's like
La Rochelle and L'Ile de Ré are like two different neighbors but they are very you can go there by bike for example biking and it was a cool week but very exhausting because I realized I love I love too much I always talk about this in the podcast if you read if you listen it you already know I love to be alone and also I had
I've been taking notes for my next book for maybe more than a year now and the more the weeks and the days pass I was gathering ideas in the same I took ideas in the notes of my telephone like even for the podcast everything I have in my notes of the telephone I have so many notes with all different kind of
memos and ideas it's a very old school way to take ideas now that we have all kind of app and artificial intelligence all kind of things but
the I'm going like this so I just needed to have the perfect time to just go into myself into my mind I don't know how to say and and start giving a structure to the idea of the book
the thing is that despite my price despite the fact that I do this since forever and I do comics and zine and now I'm publishing in Italy and my book is translated in France I'm still not a full-time author I don't know if it's my problem if it's a block in my mind or if it's economy or if it's
the way I used to drive my career.
Actually, I don't know for now.
Maybe I will discover later in therapy, but for now, I just never give enough credit to the fact that I actually can do graphic novels and I never put anything in place in order to make it my full-time job.
and so for a long time my full-time job has been tattooing and it's cool I like it but in this period of time post-COVID I don't know if it's my generation my age I don't know if it's post-COVID if it's war and the stress we are in with the conflict we can see in the news and it's like
Tattooing I tattoo a lot when I go to Paris.
I already talked about it in a Previous episode and we stop saying this about the previous episode if you listen you ever listen it and if not, it's okay But in La Rochelle, I don't work so much.
I have some work but I
I don't know, maybe I don't want, I'm still not sure what's happening
and so the job was supposed to be my full-time and alimentary I don't know say gaining money for the house job it's very slow those days and also like I have this driven like sometimes I have spare time and instead of
for example drawing tattoo flash or I don't know communicating around my tattoo I like to dig into the graphic journaling rabbit hole I'm all about this those days I love doing this I love doing the class with the person the people who come on zoom or also at strangeland and I like doing this
I took this class this summer of graphic journal, no sorry, art therapy counselor and I'm all about this so I'm spinning on my plate keeping up my tattoo career but while nurturing this idea I have of having also this career in art therapy with the graphic journaling but in the meantime
those are two gaining money careers and in the meantime that are freelance careers so they take a lot of space and like entrepreneur brain is something and I don't like to have it but sometimes you must have it and in the middle of all this I have my drive to do my books and I love doing this so those I was
trying to make it in my brain to plan how to start, how to have the time and so just right after New Year's Eve my mother left on December 30 or 31 and then I had New Year's Eve with my friend Nini in La Rochelle it was very quiet and then my daughter was at the party and then I spent the
the January 1st with my daughter in a chill way but then my daughter went to her father and so I had the whole week all alone my partner and my dog and my dog were in Lesignac my daughter were at the other parent no family no tattoo shop because the tattoo shop was closed until yesterday for the Christmas time
and so I enjoyed this moment of being all alone and just being able to concentrate on what I like to do it's like drawing and telling stories this is no mystery that seems forever I like blogging I like newsletter I like
comics, doing graphic journals and also even the podcast now.
I like telling things, telling stories.
And so I was like, yes, I can start my book.
I have this week, which is, of course, it's not enough.
For example, my last book, Transformer, took me more than one year to finish.
And also maybe because I have to make big session, maybe I have one week.
maybe once a month in which I only do this the whole day from 7 in the morning to 1 a.m.
and then I have to go back to my paying bills and jobs.
Yesterday I was in therapy and I was saying if I have a magic wand maybe what I would like to do is like having nothing practical to do
no paying bills no doing the dishes or cooking the meals just drawing and I have all sorts of people around me who do all the things and but it was a fun statement to say but luckily it's something I would think about me but likely therapy is there to go dig a little bit deeper and I also realized that
it's not really true because I also like to have the how do you call it the balance between being all alone and being like like the queen of England no now it's like the king like you know some someone who you don't have to to do anything only you can all people do things for you
and actually it's not Queen or King of England, but of Great Britain, I don't know what to say.
But the more I dig in the therapy and I realized, no, because I also like those moments in which I had this vision for Strangeland, which is my tattoo shop, but I would like it to be a place
when we can create, when we can sell zine, when we can do workshops and this is a whole other episode today I came here to talk about the creative process of starting my book I took so many turns while telling this thanks to the ADHD brain and if you read the newsletter
letter letter how do you pronounce it newsletter no letter i don't know you already seen some of the videos and i wanted to use this this episode to talk about how i realize i approach doing my graphic novels what do i do i didn't know i had a process the first time the first time my born to lose book
which is only available now through my website because it's out of catalogue in Italy because it's like a book, it's like my graphic journal selected and turned into a book.
It's cool, rights with my old publisher were about to expire and I didn't want to continue letting them the rights to my book.
I have nothing against my first publisher it's just like that we didn't connect very much and I wasn't there were no human interaction with them and so I take back the rights
and also I feel comfortable this book to don't be in bookstore anymore and I have the last few copies if you want in my e-shop on my website.
Anyway, so there were no writing process in there.
The writing process was keeping a graphic journal every day for three years and then select the pages.
But then, for PLAY WITH FIRE, it was the first time I had this... I wanted to tell this story and I couldn't manage to just start a drawing and then see where the storytelling of the drawing will take me.
It was the first time I realized that just drawing as I experienced the narration, it couldn't be...
something I related anymore because I can't draw fast enough and I needed to to pick up my brain and write down all the old ideas before starting drawing so what I did it was like I started writing and writing in the note of my telephone of course I started writing it when I was at the airport because I had this
I saw this exhibition and I wanted about maybe you already know the stories but I was closeted, a closeted trans man and there were so much things going on in my heart, in my belly, in my brain and then I was in Bologna and I went to this exhibition called the Transitional States organized by
professor Chiara Beccalossi which is also the instigator for LGBT plus history month in Italy and she also has a podcast about the LGBT plus history in Italy anyway she organized this exhibition called transitional states and
I already, no I didn't see it already in England, I don't remember I see it twice, I guess first time in England in London and second time in Bologna or viceversa I don't remember but the time I was in Bologna
and I saw it and there was a video from the two trans activists and artists, Fox Fisher and Howell, that, I don't know, struck a chord inside of me and I
and I feel I am so trans and I need to write this down I need to tell this story to understand who I am and also to create something that exists also for people who come after me and so I started writing writing writing in my notes when I came back in La Rochelle I was traveling and the travel Bologna La Rochelle it was like I guess I took
So CO2 imprint, it's very big at the time, but I guess I took a plane and then a train.
Anyway, it was when I write at night, I started from the morning and I had to write all the ideas of the book.
And then I started, then I printed the text.
and then I had this on those pages and then I started highlighting and see what what did I have and I have those print papers and I started
sketching the layouts of the pages and at the time I put all together and I remember having those you know those plastic sheets in which you you put your paper sheet inside and then you have little holes and you can put it in a in a big in a big folder
And so I could actually see pages being sketched in the layout and I put them in the plastic sheets and then in the folder and so on.
And then I have this folder full of all the sketches in the order, you know, all the book.
And then I was, okay, I have a book.
And so I wrote to my publisher, my new publisher,
um at the time it was the this my my publisher it's Igor and he was the director of the whole publishing where I did my book playing Born To Lose and he was the person who wanted Born TO Lose to be published and when my book Born To Lose came out he went away as a director of this creative director of this publishing and then opened another
publisher and he said to me when are you doing the second book and so I already have this insurance and this I get gave me I felt so secure in creating because I knew that I was creating also because then it will be a publisher waiting for me and supporting me and believing in my work
almost like blindly because I guess he knows what he likes but at the time I just did this first book and so I remember at the time sketching all the sketches the layout and then writing to him okay I have the second book I'm ready I have this is the story and all this and he said okay and it took me like
say maybe one year to finish because then what I did I started cleaning up my my sketches my layouts and so what I did is I went back to page one and each page I took it and then I trace it on nice watercolor paper and
cleaning it and coloring it I guess that I remember working for Play With Fire like cleaning a page and then put it aside and maybe waiting to arrive to something like five to ten pages of inking and then starting the coloring because since I work in watercolor but I don't use the air dryer some of
people who draw, artists who draw with watercolor use a nail dryer to dry the watercolor and I also, I only, what I like to do is like doing multiple drawings and coloring at the time so that the color has the time to dry on his own
and I like this because I like errors that this can bring because sometimes you do a colors and then the colors maybe make your the inking stain or they mix together in a weird way and I like this I like the error and so I went on
drawing and drawing and coloring and inking.
And in a moment I find myself with so many drawings that I needed to go buy another folder.
And I remember the first folder I used, it was a yellow one.
I guess I had it at home, I don't remember.
And so I went and buy another yellow folder.
and then while I was drawing I realized I needed another folder you know the big folder with iron rings
they are often used for when for your accounting when you do your taxes then you fold all your receipts in there so they are very big at the end of the making of my book PLAY WITH FIRE I had three of these full one with the sketches with the layouts and two with the finishing of the book and I also
I remember I guess at the moment I have to put two pages in each plastic sheet because I didn't have enough space and yeah I didn't know it was a method of mine I just did this and then I put it back back two years ago during the Christmas holiday between 2021 and 2022
I my daughter was spending the whole Christmas at her father and I was with my dog and I I didn't want to go in Italy without my daughter and I just had this dog and I didn't want to scare him to leaving him and I don't remember my partner where I don't remember at their family and
I spent for the first time in my life Christmas all alone by choice and I loved it.
I guess that I could have the privilege to love it because I had the choice of being alone on Christmas.
Maybe it's not the same for people who are
alone, not by choice.
Anyway, I remember spending it, these two weeks, one week, one full week, writing, taking back my notes, because I was, of course, after Play With Fire, so I'm talking about then Transformer, I did the same.
Every time I had an idea, I started writing in my notes.
like I did the first time I did after this exhibition you know this transitional exhibition trans-oriented exhibition back then I didn't have a method I just pick up the notes and
I liked it so much that then I never stopped doing this so I took notes for my book Transformer in my telephone and what I also had as notes for this particular book was the graphic journal about my transition I was drawing for
for my patreon and for my instagram follower especially the follower of the instagram mom skin because it's a more small and graphic journaling related um how do you call related um
content uh and so there I graphic journaled all my transition or at the beginning of my transition so even if you are curious about my book transformer you can find
the proto-ideas, the proto-drawings about this because the book is not translated in English but the graphic journal about the sketch and the comic that I used them as an inspiration to do the book are actually in English so you can go to instagram.com and at this momeskine is like a mom, like a mom, a mother and
but like moleskin you know moleskine the journals and so it's like a funny way of it's like because I started this you know I have a teen daughter and
she calls me mom and so this was the the moleskin of the mom the momeskine you can read it there anyway I so I took the notes I took the this and I remember how I did it for play with fire so I went back to the store
like four years later I went back to the to the store and I bought a folder and I bought plastic sheets and I bought paper and this time I changed the color in the folder and I bought some kind of like greenish Tiffany green and I drew and in the same process my book my
transformer book the one who's won even the award even though I don't know why I can't manage to have it none of my book translated in English it's it's not my job to do it's my publisher but I guess they try and it would be so cool to have my book translate in English but
for now if you want to read mini english it's on substack and on instagram and on patreon do it yourself best way to do it anyway so flash forward to today and to last week when i happened to have again one week of solitude
and so I was like I feel so ready to start my next book two years later okay and so I did two things like printing my the notes that were in my telephone about the ideas of the next book
and went to the store and buy a folder, buy the plastic sheets, buy the paper and all the things that you already know.
This time I have chosen a blue folder because then I realized, okay, there is a pattern here.
I have a book with a yellow folder,
folders and then I write the after the other book transformer and I bought this tile Tiffany green folders so maybe I can manage to make it like a chromatic scale you know the it will be an evolution in time
and in color, I don't know if it's some... So yeah, for now I have yellow and greenish and blue, and then I will see how many books I will do in my life.
It will all depend if one day I will become a full-time author or not.
For now, as I was talking at the beginning,
I can only manage, my book takes me one year to make and then also I have one year to focus back on my job to gain money because I often accumulate a lot of debt while I'm doing my book I always do this because I take this time off to do my book but actually when you are a freelance
or self-entrepreneur when you take your time off but you don't get money and so that he always cost me a lot of debt when I go into
those moments this year in which I do my book I hope that this year will not be this way maybe I should apply for a grant or things like this but I can't manage to do this I can't observe and notice and work on my creative process of my inner space and all the emotion
but I probably need to focus also more on the practical things because for now it's very difficult for me to have this maybe I will need an assistant somebody that tell me don't worry work and I can do the admin stuff
Maybe I should find an assistant with whom I can trade tattoos.
If you want to get a tattoo and you want to become my assistant to do my grants, please reach out to me.
I'm joking, maybe not, I don't know.
Anyway, so this was the starting of my book journey.
I still haven't disclosed the title because I'm not sure if it's cool, if it's a genius title or if it's cringe.
I still have not... I don't know, I'm just at the beginning.
But anyway, I bought the folders, I bought the papers, I bought the plastic sheets and all the things that I've spent last week.
sketching but there is a new novelty how do you say in English there is a new thing that is happening I will always be writing like even this book is some sort of auto fiction but I'm doing two things that I didn't do before and one is
having a part in which I have a research work in which every statement I'm talking about are supported by quoting books
it's something I never did because I before it was maybe more personal and now I want to mix the personal but also some kind of info I don't want to say political but I want to anyway I want to having other out or another intellectuals another experience to back up my experience and I also doing another things that I never did
it's like having two parallel stories and one is mine and one is another figure some author that I love that is dead now and I'm using their journal and their info to make it a parallel stories with mine
I'm not sure if I have the right to do this and I'm not sure if I will have the capacity to do this because it's
I don't know.
I will talk about this, of course, in the future.
So this week was about starting sketching but in a moment, I stopped in a moment because then I needed to continue start sketching the story which is not my story and so I don't have the notes on the telephone to have the experience.
What I'm doing is I'm taking this book
and I'm re-reading it I have actually another edition of the book I read I needed one other so that I can take notes directly on the book and then once I've gathered all the information I need at least for this first part I will probably
start sketching and in the same way I don't know it's a very new thing so I will keep you posted if you are interested in this I guess it's all for today if you
didn't catch this episode arriving from my newsletter or from Substack I invite you to go to Substack and subscribe because there I'm also maybe posting not maybe I'm also posting like videos and photos of my work in progress and
I guess it will be fun and at least I need it I need to do it this in order to understand what I'm doing I need to talk about this about this so and if you maybe it's something you want to do starting your own book your own graphic novel maybe we can
talk about this you can come and read it and leave me comments and I can maybe try to to answer your question okay and don't forget I was saying in the beginning to subscribe and to share this this podcast this episode with somebody you know it will love it and
all the info you need are on my website anyway nicozbalboastudio.com and take care and talk to you very soon bye bye
show corrections:
I say episode 14 but it’s episode 15!
I say “folder” but I actually meant “binder”.
show notes:
momeskine: https://www.instagram.com/momeskine/
my friend Nini: https://www.instagram.com/virginie_rvr/
born to lose: https://www.nicozbalboastudio.com/borntolose-2/
play with fire: https://www.nicozbalboastudio.com/playwithfire/
transformer: https://www.nicozbalboastudio.com/transformer/
Igort:
https://www.igort.com/
graphic journal club: https://www.patreon.com/graphicjournalclub
my website: https://www.nicozbalboastudio.com/

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BALBOA PARK #14 - an HAPPY NEW YEAR starts with your Graphic Journal NOW
31 dez 2023· BALBOA PARK
Welcome to episode 14 of Balboa Park and the first episode of 2024.
OMG.
If you don't know me,
I'm Nicoz Balboa. I'm a trans man, Italian, living in France. I have a teen daughter. I am a mom. I do tattoos and graphic novels that are published in Italy and in France. And in this podcast, I talk about the creative process, my creative process as a way of knowing my soul.
So 2024, short episode, let's set a goal.
Let's pick up a (graphic) journal around you.
Look at a notebook, a composition book, a journal and start it now.
and keep it for at least six months and then tell me how it feels
to help you I have two possibilities:
1) the first one is:
* take the journal
* set aside 10 minutes timer for yourself
* pour yourself a hot beverage
* answer those questions:
* where do you see yourself in six months
* where do you see yourself in one year
* how do you feel like right now
* how do you want to feel
you want to know more how to to have a graphic journal you can go back to episode #11 where I give you all the practical hints that you need.
2) and the second thing you can do to start the graphic journal is
going to patreon.com/graphicjournalclub because I'm starting next Sunday with a bonus class + from now on, if you subscribe, you will have two class a month instead of one.
for the Graphic Journal Club like there is every time one class on the second Sunday of the month
but this time we are doing one more it's on the first Sunday of the month to set up the right mood for 2024
plus every last Sunday of the month we'll do a recap of the month/draw together hour, to keep the momentum going and you will also have access to all the replays so you can start right now.
having a Graphic Journal practice it's like perfect for my mental health
but it's also my creative getaway! because when I do my Graphic Journal every day and I draw what I feel/what I want to feel/what I'm living, the moment I write the draft for my graphic novels I use my Graphic Journal as notes!
my book Transformer, which it's a rewrite coming from my graphic journals, has won the book of the year to the very big comic con of Italy, which is the Luca Comics and Games!
I'm still like, What?
But this is all thanks to my Graphic Journaling practice because it makes my creative practice valid and legitimate.
Because if you want to feel valid and legitimate into your creative practice, into your art, you have to put the work! you have to put the effort!
I mean, it’s not like in a catholic way -like you have to suffer to do things- but for me it’s like:
you have to do estimable things in your practice (YOU decide what’s estimable for YOU) to feel like you OWN it. to feel proud you have to put pride into into what you do
so remember to set up your Graphic Journaling right now with the exercises I gave you at the beginning of the episode and also go back to the episode in which I give you more hints for the Graphic Journaling practice setup and start and also subscribe to patreon.com/graphicjournalclub for more!
If you have any question about anything I do, you can just go to nicozbalboastudio.com and there you will have all the infos.
byebye and enjoy this first day of 2024!
XXX
Nicoz

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BALBOA PARK #13 - I love stories when nothing happens
25 dez 2023· BALBOA PARK
🎄💕✨🦞🎁
Welcome to Balboa Park.
I am Nicoz Balboa.
I am a trans man living in France and I'm Italian.
I'm a mom because I have a -teen- daughter.
I am a tattooer and I do graphic novels.
And in this podcast I like to talk about my creative process in a broad way as a way of knowing myself.
Welcome to episode 13 of Balboa Park.
I'm in my bed which is my studio, until the day I will have a real microphone, what I find is like I use this wired headphone and I'm in my bed because it's the space which is the more soundproof space of my house so I'm sure that I don't have a big echo.
I'm sipping my coffee and I wanted to go to the gym but actually I'm in bed.
It's like 9.53 in the morning.
I should be going like in 45 minutes.
I should be going to my studio Strangeland
And so I was like, okay, I should shower or I should dress and go to the gym and all I wanted to do is watch at least another episode from The Crown.
and I as soon as I thought about this and the fact that Christmas is coming and I will not have a lot of time to record a podcast and I thought to myself okay maybe I should
record the podcast about The Crown not not the Crown like i'm not going to talk about the Queen and the royal family which i i don't care very much but about… but about the tv show which is my favorite show to watch while i draw because it's like having an aquarium!
Nothing really is going on in the show.
There is no thick plot with like changing of the story or something like this.
And every time I look up at the television, or at the screen, I see these very beautiful colors and landscape or interiors or
hairstyles, very vintage-looking, like now I'm in the 90s, before it was like the 80s or the 70s and so on.
And so I thought to come here and talk about how I love a show where there is no plot, where nothing happens and all the things that happen, I know them already
because
We already know what did happen in the royal family.
It's like in the tabloids.
So like in some way you are waiting for things to happen, but are things that you already know.
So there is no surprise.
(There is a little bit of a very light hint of propaganda for the royal family maybe).
I guess the fact that in the last seasons, they chose this actor to portray Charles, the now King Charles.
Now the actor is a very handsome man and very smart, but very sensitive.
I don't know anything about the royal family, but it's not something that came up to me when I used to see Prince Charles, but maybe I don't know very well.
But now they choose this very cool actor and they make the king of England now look like a very cool guy and very cute and very positive masculinity man
But I'm not into conspiracy theories, I'm not going into the rabbit hole of thinking: “oh, they did this show to prepare the things to make people like the monarchy”.
I don't care about this.
I just care about the aesthetic. and the fact that the polt is slow and *nothing* happens.
I like when there is no plot.
And for example, I remember when I was a teenager,
and reading for the first time THE CATCHER IN THE RYE from J. D. Salinger
In Italian the title is THE YOUNG OLDEN and in French they translate it in THE CATCHER IN THE HEART or THE HEART CATCHER or something like this.
So THE CATCHER IN THE RYE… It stays one of my favorite books.
And the first time I read it, when I was a teenager and I was studying at school, where we were obliged to study books with a real plot, with meaning and symbols and history.
And this book came to my hand, I don't know, maybe from a friend or I don't remember (it was 1995!)
And I was like, wow, nothing happens, nothing, like, just there is no, like, the plot, maybe there is in some way, but not how I was used to.
And I loved it because the plot and the story and the hero's journey is all in Holden Caulfield’s mind!
we can read his mind we can listen to his thoughts and it's beautiful because his thoughts are not heroic. I felt a pull, a connection, with this kind of narration i like when there is no plot i feel so much when the narration takes time and it's slow and i can see the small gesture, follow the small gesture, the small thoughts.
I like this so much.
In some way, I can think of a lot of examples about this, but the other day I was looking at this on Netflix, a movie from this Italian-Turkish director, his name is Ferzan Özpetek,
and since the 90s he's doing in Italy movies about stories, human stories, but often are like queer people/homosexual men’s s stories.
There is no big plot, just small human stories or human dramas
And it's so delicate.
And the other day I was seeing his last movie on Netflix, and it felt so good, especially because a lot of his movies take place in Rome, which is my hometown.
So when I'm in La Rochelle seeing images about Rome, it's like my heart breaks.
And so I was thinking about, I love to see a movie or a story or reading a book or a comic where there is no plot.
where there is not writer/storyteller/screenwriter show off!
I love this so much.
We can't have always have the same type of stories!
it's like, if you like music, you can't always listen to, I don't know, if you like metal music, you can't maybe always listen to metal.
Or if you like opera, you can't always listen to opera.
It's like sometimes you are in the elevator or you are in the car and you listen to the radio and it's cool.
It's like reading.
You can't always read one type of book because sometimes you are in the waiting room of your doctor and there is a gossip magazine and you want to read about the royal family or I don't know.
Like if you like reading, if you like listen to the music, if you like stories, but maybe the stories that match your emotions may vary according to what you're living.
And I guess it's okay.
Um, for example, I used to love a lot to watch CSI (es experts in French)
and in the early 2000 it was very innovative ! because they had this police investigation mixed with CGI in where you can see how the crime were about to be solved and how the bullet went into the head of the guy or something like this.
And I loved to see this.
I was like, oh, wow, the bullet did this!!!!!
And I remember my ex-husband at the time, every time he saw me watching the show, he was like:
-ah, you're watching CSI.
-Yes.This is amazing.
-and what's happening? what’s going on?
And I was always like:
I don't know, I don't understand the story, but I like the intrigue.
And it's like the other day I was drawing in my living room and I watched this series called REACHER.
This is a TV show, I guess it's Amazon or Netflix, I don't remember.
And there is these guys who play REACHER, which is so handsome, so tall and so muscly and a little bit on a spectrum because it's like very, very neat.
I don't know.
He always tells the truth and he's so cool.
And there is all sorts of intrigue because he's investigating on the death of his brother.
But at the beginning, we don't know that It's brother who's dead.
Sorry for the spoiler, but it's like at the very beginning.
And all this intrigue and this character, and I watch it because he's handsome, but I don't understand a thing.
He works with these two police people: one is this police girl and the other is an inspector.
And for the whole movie, the whole series, I was like, I guess the inspector maybe is not a good guy.
Maybe it's a bad guy and we will have a changing in the plot.
And I guess that is not true.
I never understand the plot.
And
Why am I talking about this?
I don't know.
I wanted to talk about this because sometimes inspiration can come from everywhere.
It's not because you write poetry that you only have to read poetry.
It's cool to enjoy all sorts of things and keeping an open heart.
And maybe when I write my graphic novels, for example, I have no judgment around what kind of story I want to make in my graphic novels or what kind of story I'm reading.
But I know maybe that I like when I feel this connection, maybe because I want what I read to resonate with what I feel. and with ADHD my feelings are a bit all over the place.
but….
I would like to hear from you.
Send me messages with a list of your three favorite stories.
It can be books, or TV shows, or movies, or comics, or graphic novels.
I don't know.
All them mixed together.
And with these, I finish this mail!
telling you:
Merry Christmas or maybe Merry Happy New Year.
because Christmas was yesterday (I’m planning and automating sending)
We are at the end of 2023 and beginning on 2024 and it's cool.
If you like what you hear subscribe to the podcast wherever you are listening it to
maybe you can rate it (with five stars :P ) and if you want to dig deeper and support what I do with the podcast you can even for free but just come and subscribe!
and if you want to know more this is my website: nicozbalboastudio.com with all in it!
Thank you and have a great holiday season.
I hope you feel loved.
I hope you feel seen.
I hope you are spending a good time.
I hope you are safe and
if you don't, remember that I love you and that I see you and I care about you so hit me if you need to talk and send me a message
bye bye
XXX
Nicoz

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BALBOA PARK #12 - it's mercury retrograde in an artist's life
19 dez 2023· BALBOA PARK
I’ve been stumbling on my old artworks for few days. it started with a random facebook memory and then it opened the pandora box!
it all started with this image, that happened as a facebook memory form 9 years ago:
while, even if scrolling through social media, I was in my living room drawing this one:
and I felt like I’ve changed and matured so much as an artists because now I’m able to draw raw and less figurative things!
so, while I carried on with the “facebook memories” I found this portrait of me from 10 years ago:
well, lookwise, it’s easy to see and feel the difference and not only because of the 10 years span but because of my gender transition! now I’m more “me” and I don’t feel like I always must do silly faces in order to bear to have my picture taken. (even if sometimes I LOVE to do silly faces).
I was floating in this “oooh time as goes by, I’ve changed and I’m so mature and cool and centered NOW while back then I was longing for recognition and couldn’t create from a place of rawness bla bla bli blu bla bli blu bla bla” ... I was being a judgy duchebag in disguise.
and, Mercury Retrograde’s fault, I went into the rabbit hole of memories and thought “oh well my work has changed so much, I was more immature and stiff then than now” and immediately thought about doing a podcast episode about “how I’ve changed in this past 10, 15 years!” and, of course, with this idea in mind, I went look for “evidences”.
I wanted to come here and say “I’m so cool because I’ve come a long way” BUT….
I went to google images and wrote “Nicoz Balboa 2013” and found out all sort of things such my Pyrographies (some of them are also in my website) :
some old painting from the years 2003-2005!
I love this one!
but also some more rough stuff such my graphic journals pages, those are from 2011 and 2013:
I started my search in order to prove that NOW my work is more sincere and real but the thing is, even back then I would make some rough work and -in the meantime- some more finished and aesthetic work.
for exemple those 2 images are from the same year:
so, well my theory is stupid! I’m not really more centered and mature now or at least
it’s not about the year I’ve made the artwork that make it more or less raw because, for exemple, this one is from 2005:
and those are Graphic Journal pages form 2000!:
so this isn’t about the year I’ve made those more or less raw drawings right? so what about?
first thing, I know realize that in some way I thought that “rawer” works are better because maybe I judge them as more artsy (while finished work I find them stiffer… but some of those stiff works looks funny to me know ).
and of course am I more happy and centered now as a human being? YES I can tell it loud and clearly, I feel good those days (even when I’m low or depressed).
and my work? I guess I still can’t tell “oh wow I’m arrived as an artist and my production. is well on point!”.
I feel so much empathy and love for the past me that tried the best that they could.
it’s a little more difficult to have empathy for me now in the bad days, when work is low or when I feel burnt out.
so I guess that the teachings I want to learn (?) from this Mercury Retrograde scavenger art-hunt is to have empathy for where I’m at.
ok but HOW???
let’s think about it, I’m goin to try to make a list that works for me on the good days:
* let’s concentrate on the feeling at ease and loved while I work
* make sure I give the best that I can at that very same moment (my personal best may vary accordingly to the sessions. and this is also one of the 4 Agreements )
* don’t compare myself so much with other artists
* when I catch myself comparing my work or career to others artists I commit to use this as an occasion to reflect on my own practice/career by asking myself those questions :
* 1) what XYZ is doing that I wish I did?
* 2) what can I learn from it? (could be a technique or a skill)
* 3) can I plan ahead the steps I would need to take to achieve what I’m longing for? can I take the first step soon? (if yes: take that step! if not: break down more steps that you can achieve now that will lead you to that 1st step).
* 4) can I reach out to XYZ and compliment them about this skill/technique/whatever? (you don’t have to say “I wish I could do it”, don’t make it about you. genuinely express love and appreciation, open your heart to this feeling) . and don"‘t wait for an answer, you’re not doing it for an answer! you’re doing it to open your heart to give love.
* 5) having/doing what this XYZ has/is doing what make me feel? write down a list starting with WHAT DO I FEEL with the achievement you long for
* when I feel at the lowest of my creativity I treat myself with: a new piece of art supply, a change in the routine, a little drawing adventure (a small journey, a drawing date at the museum or even a one day no-expenses field trip can do )
* stay concentrate on my journey, no f*c*ing compare my work with others (yes I already said this, but I say this again )
and on the bad days?
well sometimes the bad days just have to pass in order to stop identifying as the failure/untalented/overwhelmed/broke artists. sometimes we don’t have a choice and depression hits and it’s ok.
and now that I prepare to wrap up this post I flip through all those images again and I thank my past self and I also remind myself:
wanting to have a recognizable style and palette is something that it hasn’t to be mandatory!
of course if we are selling arty stuff (like me with tattoos or illustrations or books) and therefore we need our art to have a commercial purpose it will be easier to be more recognizable in order to be more sellable because it’s easier for the CLIENT to read you (AND chose you).
but if you, like me, can’t manage to always walk the same medium path for your artwork does it make your art production less valid? for me the answer is no as long as you’re creating form a place of truth with who you are (and who you are may vary a bit accordingly to the days, like me) without comparing (or copying) other artists.
I hope that you liked to see my past work and that you will use this post as a way to love your art practice as it is right in this moment.
Have a cool end of 2023, Love YOu
Nicoz
ps: in my STORE I’m selling A2 signed prints for my series “New Perimeter”
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BALBOA PARK #11- some tips to start a Graphic Journaling practice
14 dez 2023· BALBOA PARK
Hi. Hello. Welcome to Balboa Park episode 11!
Wow. Every time I record a new episode I say “wow” but the thing is that every time I'm surprised that I’m still recording :)
And also like the past two episodes, it was so difficult to edit the podcast because I have a very very old computer (from 2012 bought second hand in 2020) and I don't know very well about all the ways of editing a podcast.
So I'm using this website called Riverside in the free option. And it's very cool because I can edit from a browser since my computer is so old and full and, and weird and sketchy without much available space
but also even from the browser, it was so, so slow to edit the podcast!
So I realized this, that I must edit the podcast in my brain before talking, but it's very difficult because English is not my native language.
AND if you are still here after 11 sketchy, slow, weird talking episode, and 2 months of substack in total: THANK YOU AND I LOVE YOU8
IN today's episode, I just wanted to go a little bit deeper in the art practice, but in a more practical way.
because it's December and 2023 it's almost over and this is the moment in which we start setting goals we start dreaming of the new year and all the things we want to accomplish as I don't know you but I always go with goals and setting up.
And then I feel like when the months pass by, my motivation gets a little bit weaker.
But this is often an impression, because when I then stop and I go into my graphic journaling practice and I do some exercise to maybe think about the year I just lived, I realize that maybe I didn't reach the moon, but I did some cool things anyway during this year.
If you're interested in those kinds of exercises, we just had a graphic journaling club meeting on zoom that you can vision HERE if you’re a member of the Graphic Journal Club too.
if you’re still hesitating , you can subscribe just for a month and try it because and when you subscribe you have access to all the past class replays (now all the replays are divided into collections so you can like cherry picking what you need + you have access to the live class the monthly class)
But today, here and now, if you are like, okay, I feel attraction, I feel a pull toward an art practice, but I don't know from where to start. I'm here to give you some practical hints!
Of course, I'm not like, I'm here to oblige you, you can take what you like and leave what you don't.
ok let’s go!
the audio version is free for you to listen here or on other platforms! and down here is a printable -to get your practice going - that are accessible for paying subscribers. (the printable will be available for free also for the Graphic Journal Members as well). subscribe to have full access.
First thing first
the place.
Where do I go for my art practice?
So maybe you are already a professional artist and You just want to dig deeper into a more personal practice as the graphic journaling, which is more some something that is not destined for professional production to sell, but it's more for in introspection, or maybe you don't work in the arts, but you feel that this
tingly sensation in your hand because you want to start.
You will need to find a space.
Maybe you have an art studio, but maybe you don't and it's okay.
What about setting a space in your home, a dedicated space in which you can leave everything as it is, in which you can just go and sit and make it yours.
maybe you can just put a little table in your bedroom or maybe you have a desk but maybe you don't have this spare space and maybe you have kids or a flatmate and it's not so easy to set up a desk and it's okay! i got you! what i like to do it's like working with boxes
I like boxes.
Everything I own goes into boxes that are into bigger boxes that are into even bigger boxes and then small boxes into the boxes.
People who work with at Strangeland or even at home always makes fun of me.
But believe me, if you find a cool box in which you can put pouch with favorite colors and pencils, your journal, you can put what you like to concentrate maybe in this box you can put a lighter with a candle maybe you can put some tea bags or a special pair of socks that you like to get comfy at home or maybe you want to put in it headphones that then you can insert in your telephone and use it to concentrate while you practice.
The fact of having a box and it can be a box that you buy, it can be a colorful plastic foldable box, it can be a wooden wine boxe (Here in France, you have those that are like very strong wooden boxes) or maybe a cardboard box that you paint.
And you choose the shape, you choose the size, you put all what you need for your art practice into it.
And when you have a spare time,
you take the box off you put it on the kitchen table on your bed on your couch wherever you have space wherever you have calm where in whichever room you can close the door and then you set a timer and you decide how many time you need.
and you can experiment!
and then start your practice and when you finish you put everything into the box and then the box in the closet or in the cupboard or under the bed !
the time
and set a timer!
setting a timer, deciding what amount of time you want to give to your art practice, is the very same like when you go to the gym, you know that you have one spare hour, or if you go run, you know that you have maybe 20 minutes, half an hour, one hour, I don't know.
try to set your alarm at morning 20 minutes early and in those minutes you take your box while you sip your coffee (or tea) and you go into the practice!
it can be everyday or every week: you have to find the balance between what feels good and what feels like too much pressure.
some pressure is good!
I know that sometimes it's difficult to set the time, maybe 10, 20, 30 minutes early, because you are tired and you work all day and you have a lot of things to do.
And maybe you have insomnia or other things.
But in my experience, trying to make space for something that makes us feel good, it's always a win.
Just because this effing society still sucks and despite of technology and AI we still have wars and we still need to work and stay in the productivity in order to, to gain money -to pay the f***ing bills- it doesn’t mean that we let it absorb all of our time!
let’s notice that now a lot of our time goes by while being absorbed by social media and looking and watching TV shows (I do it too!)
And it's okay, but it's cool to say “okay, even if I don't have a lot of spare time, I want to be in control of this half an hour a day or half an hour every two days or 10 minutes every night and 10 minutes every morning”.
I don't know. what do you think?
And
In my experience, when I'm not connected to my art practice, it's very difficult to go back into my art practice does it make sense?
when I don’t take this time I'm anxious, i feel like I don't have time, I'm behind in paying the bills or catching up with friends. And I even complain about the fact that I can't find a place at home in which I'm alone and silent as you can (You can know this by listening to the last episode) but it's worth it commit into this.
not on a spare of a moment, but as a practice.
Okay.
Maybe I don't want to do it, but I try to stick with it.
And something that works for me, it's like going to my favorite coffee place
alone -or with my partner- and sit there and have maybe 10, 20, 30 minutes sipping a good coffee and going inward in my personal/graphic journaling practice.
So there is the supplies, there is where I create my space, when I create the time, and then there is
what do I do.
Once I'm:
* taking off, taking the box of my art supplies from under the bed
* set the timer of 20 minutes (or the time you choose)
* then sit. breathe into your seated position. tell you’rself “I’m here”
* open your journal at grab your pens and pencils
and then what?
Here for you 3 simple things that you can do:
* First thing I always do is on top of the page, I write the date ( the day and maybe the time)
Because this is something that is very interesting when you have this practice, when you’ll go back there very int a fast way into the memory, into the setting of the memory.
* write down three things you are grateful for. And if you have a daily practice, it can be in three things you are grateful
for in the last 24 hours or since last time you did the practice of the graphic journal.
* draw a self-portrait. You can look at yourself in the mirror.
You can use this moment to check in with yourself and use the divided attention (does non-ADHD people can do it?) aka: While you draw, you look at yourself and in the meantime you feel.
So you see with your eyes and you feel with your heart and while you draw you draw what you see and what you feel.
This is a very cool exercise and if it's overwhelming can stay in this moment of discomfort by setting a timer ( 30 second timer and then you stretch it up to 2 or 3 minutes). the only thing: during the duration of the timer you can't stop / you can't walk away / you must sit with discomfort / you must stay in the exercise because you know that in a moment the timer will
ring and then you will be free of stopping the exercise.
You know, it's the same when you go to the gym and then you have 30 seconds of plank! It's freaking hard to stay in plank, but you know that it's a very defined amount of time so you can stick to it.
Do this every day or every two days. Give yourself like one month to doing this and then check in with yourself.
When you are on your graphic journal page of one month into the practice maybe instead of answering the question of “three things i'm grateful for" you can answer to the question “in which way my daily life has improved since i'm having this practice “ instead and then come and tell me.
And maybe you can consider become a graphic journal club member on Patreon to find a community of Graphic Journal Lovers!
Have a cool day.
Bye bye.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nicozbalboa.substack.com
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BALBOA PARK #10 - the creative-nest
10 dez 2023· BALBOA PARK
0.0 introduction, and podcast overview
00.29 background and artistic practice
01.07 working spaces: Strangeland and home studio
03.21 importance of solitude for creativity
05.07 creating a nest-like space for creativity
10.02 the impact of environment on creativity
12.29 balancing distractions and creative focus
16.52 finding comfort and inspiration in creative spaces
18.00 Rituals and preparation for creative flow
Welcome to BALBOA PARK! you can listen to the episode or read it down here:
Hello and welcome to Episode 10, 10 episodes how cool !
How are you doing everyone?
Today I'm here because the other day I posted in the Substack notes the picture of the setting in which I was doing my work done.
If it's your first time here, first the introduction.
I am Nicoz Balboa.
I am a trans man.
I'm Italian, but I've been living in France for more than 20 years.
I have a teen daughter, I am a mom, and I run a tattoo and art studio in the very west of France, by the ocean.
And I also do graphic novels in Italy and translated also in France.
And in this podcast, I want to talk about the creative process, or at least I want to observe mine.
If it's the first time you arrived, you land on this podcast, that I have this space in La Rochelle called Strangeland, which is the studio where I tattoo, this is how I make a living, and also where I
Take time to create my illustrations and also where I'm starting giving graphic journaling classes in person and I live in a very cool flat with my daughter and sometimes my partner
and also my dog Albert.
And in this cool flat, which I’m very grateful for, I have an home studio, I have a spare room with all my archives, journals, professional memorabilia, but also like all the art supplies and paper and all the things I need to do my profession.
And I have this table and I have a balcony and it's a very cool space as is Strangeland.
If you don't know what Strangeland looks like, go to strangeland.fr and you will find my tattoo space in La Rochelle.
Why am I telling you this?
Am I bragging?
No, I'm not bragging.
The thing is that my daughter lives with me one week with me and one week with her father. and -even if during the week in which she's with her father- we meet and we do things on especially on Wednesday and I also have a partner who lives like two hours and a half from La Rochelle so when they are in town we live together but This is not their home 100%.
My living situation, it's like sometimes it's a very full house, but sometimes I'm all alone.
And it's very funny to see how it changes my my mood, I guess because of my inability to concentrate or to focus or maybe my super ability to hyper focus sometimes when I'm all alone it's easier to get into my creativity
Because I know that I can have, I don't know, two hours, three hours strike without anyone coming and ask me even a tiny question that this tiny question can get me out of my concentration for like three days.
So I cherish this moment of solitude. I appreciate when my house is full and it's very cool and I'm very grateful to have love in my life and to have a very cool daughter but I cherish those moments of solitude and in those moments I can just like don't make dinner eating just right from the fridge (I know right?) and If I'm not doing it at Strangeland, maybe I can also avoid showering and I can stay at home and concentrate on drawing or writing my book (my book, like my graphic novels. Sometimes I need one time to write the book. I'm not a writer, but..)
…Anyway, to do all the creative stuff that I like to do and sometimes those creative stuff pay my bills.
This is very cool. (They don't pay it like...nevermind :P )
The other day, despite I have one whole tattoo studio in town and I have one whole spare room in my house, in my home, my living room became an art studio and I like those moments in which I can take over the living room.
And so on the couch there are papers and supplies and i can sit on the carpet. I have this very old kid’s desk that I use it when I sit on the floor (and that I usually use as a coffee table).
I have this image that I cut from a magazine a while ago of this Tokiwa house or I don't know the name.
It's like a place, like a mansion in Japan, in Tokyo, where Osamu Tezuka and Fujiko Fujio, they worked in their young age.
It's an old house, but I guess it doesn't exist anymore. Now it's like a manga museum.
And this was the place where this Legendary mangaka used to draw maybe when they were younger, but now it's a sort of museum of manga in Tokyo.
Sorry to not be very accurate… let’s move on Because I wasn't talking about this, but I have this image from this house, and once I cut it from this magazine, as I was saying, in which there is this picture, in which there is this setting.
It's a room in which you can see the setting from those mangakas to draw.
And I loved it because the desk is so tiny that to draw on it, you have to be seated on the floor, which is the way I drew my graphic novel, Play With Fire, that it's out in Italian and in French.
So if you can read one of those two languages, you can find it.
Anyway, the other night I have the house all for myself and I could like sit everywhere even on the dinner table or something like this but I got back my old setup.
I just make the little difference, the little change in which I put a pillow under my butt to make my back a little bit more straight to avoid the back pain and it felt so good :P
So what's the thing that I like so much in being in this comfortable, cozy, regrouped position when I draw?
It feels like I am like in the middle of a of a nest.
I like this feeling of being like in a cozy place.
I'm not wearing shoes. I'm wearing like a short or comfy pants and I'm on the floor on the carpet and it feels very good.
I don't know if it's a thing, if I can forget about my body, it's way more easy to relax and maybe connect to the inner part of myself which is creative.
And also there is this sensation of when I'm in this like nest-like space and then I'm in my, as French would say, I'm in my juice.
I'm into like some liquid, some inner space liquid, like I'm a fish in a bowl.
I feel like I'm safe and I know that I will not get distracted because there is no external solicitation and so I feel safe and I can let go and I can -very calmly and very easily- go with the flow of my creativity (pardon me for this very hippie image that I'm giving you, but this is the feeling).
And sometimes when I'm at Strangeland, I love my studio so much because it's like it's cozy, it's colored, it's fun, there is a lot of images and it's a very... A few weeks ago somebody looked at my home and said, oh I love your space, it's very...
clutter core and i didn't know it was a thing but that i'm very clutter core like maybe i am the anti Marie Kondo? I like the idea of Marie Kondo and I use this!! like
is this object spark joy?
Yes, I keep it.
If it doesn't, I don't.
But for me, there are a lot of silly things, silly object, plastic toys or things like this that spark joy.
Sometimes it's even difficult for me to throw off a bottle of I don't know shampoo because I was like oh but this spark so much joy because this shampoo I bought it two months ago while I was on the trip and I saw this and I saw this so
I have a very strong connection with objects.
It's not like I'm a materialist or maybe I am, but the object often aren’t very expensive.
They are just like linked to memories and I like to be reminded of memories.
So I was saying I love going at Strangeland because I love also there all these
clutters which are fun and are maybe from friends that are artists there are screen prints or books or something like this but sometimes it can be very frustrated when i'm like in the middle of concentration I'm drawing or I'm also maybe in a zone of okay I'm answering emails I'm writing emails I need to concentrate or I'm editing the podcast or I don't know and there you have friends or people that come to the shop just to say hello
And I'm very, how do you say, I'm very conflicted about this because I love when people come at Strangeland to say hello.
I love to make coffee for my friend to come and see me, to come and see me or maybe to exchange, to talk, to connect with humans.
But when I'm in the zone of concentration, maybe because of my ADHD, get me out of this zone.
It's so frustrating that sometimes I feel a real anger.
I'm like, no, please don't talk to me, please don't enter the shop, which is very weird because it's a shop, it's a street shop, like the door is directly on the street and it's cool when people enter because it means that maybe I will take some appointments and maybe I can pay my bills.
But it can be very frustrating to get distracted and since it's a public space, since it's a shop, Strangeland, I can't act on my impulse of saying please get off my shop please get away please don't talk to me because it will be very strange you know you enter in a in a shop in a place which is open to public and the person who owns it say to you go away i don't want to talk to you
(When I think about it, it's not very strange here for La Rochelle because sometimes people can be, especially in some places, can be very nasty, like they don't feel like they don't like to be disturbed even if it's like a café or something like this.)
But this is maybe a way all other subjects and maybe a more “local” subject!
((Peut-être que si tu es intéressé par ça, et que tu parles français, j'ai un podcast que je fais avec mon partenaire Justine, a.k.a. Trognette, qui s'appelle Strangeland x Nicoz Balboa, et dans lequel on parle de ça, de La Rochelle, et souvent avec des gens qui viennent nous voir.))
So, coming back to the reason of this podcast, once I said all this, now maybe you can understand a little bit more why, when I'm alone, I like to create a nest, a creative nest.
Did you see the picture ?
let me knwo HOW and WHERE is it YOUR creative-nest!
What you like to do to reconnect with creativity? it can can be drawing, can be graphic journaling, can be knitting, can be cooking ( maybe I already know where is your creative nest, in the kitchen?).
let me know!
I’m curious to know what do you do to put yourself in the confort/creative zone!
when I think about it…. I also need a creative inspiration when I'm freehand drawing on the client and I need to access this space of creativity But in that case it's different because tattooing it's never meant to be an alone practice
so what do i do? maybe i get a coffee and then i change the music and then i bring near me all sort of like my sharpies or i realize that i have some rituals that free my body in some way in order for my creativity to come true even in that tattooo-studio-situation (I create rituals to put myself in the fish bowl of aloneness).
Maybe the solution for accessing this creativeness every time could be just installing a sort of living room in my studio :P
But it's strange because I also like to have a table because, for example, when I paint, I like to stand up to be more mobile.
ANYWAY
it's all for today please if you enjoyed the episode consider subscribing & consider sharing it with a friend who maybe need to hear this maybe a friend who struggles to find their own creative nest
and you can also become a paid subscriber on Substack to support
don't forget to rate 5 stars on the platform you are listening it too and please reach out to me maybe !
all the infos about my tattooing practice my books or even my graphic journal classes are:
shownotes:
BOOK/ https://www.nicozbalboastudio.com/playwithfire/
Strangeland: https://www.strangeland.fr/
My tattoo page: https://encre.me/strangeland-x-nicoz-balboa
Strangeland podcast episodes (in French)): https://www.strangeland.fr/blog
My website: https://www.nicozbalboastudio.com/
Graphic Journal Club: https://www.patreon.com/graphicjournalclub
Substack https://nicozbalboa.substack.com/
bye bye have a cool day
xxx
Nicoz

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nicozbalboa.substack.com
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BALBOA PARK #9 - f*ck running behind in reading mails Vs Enjoy the sense of community
1 dez 2023· BALBOA PARK
Show notes:
Mystery Tattoo Club: https://mysterytattooclub.com/
Trognette: https://www.instagram.com/trognettetattoo/
Angela Di Paolo: https://angeladipaolo.fr/
My website: https://www.nicozbalboastudio.com/
Graphic Journal Club: https://www.patreon.com/graphicjournalclub
Substack: https://nicozbalboa.substack.com/
Strangeland : https://www.strangeland.fr/

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nicozbalboa.substack.com
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BALBOA PARK #8 - being totally LEGIT
19 nov 2023· BALBOA PARK
my website:
https://www.nicozbalboastudio.com/
Show notes:
Loic Suberville https://www.instagram.com/loic.suberville/
Zoe Bean Tattoo http://zoebeantattoo.com/
Eight of Sword tattoo Brooklyn https://8ofswords.com/
New Moon studio Brooklyn https://www.instagram.com/thenewmoonstudio/
Keepsake tattoo studio South Orange NJ https://www.instagram.com/keepsakestudiosnj
Sweety Tattoo https://www.instagram.com/sweetytattoo/
Cairo Nevitt https://www.instagram.com/cairo_leon
Strangeland https://www.strangeland.fr/
to go further with me:
Graphic Journal Club https://www.patreon.com/graphicjournalclub

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nicozbalboa.substack.com
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BALBOA PARK #7 - about being a VOLCANO, ADHD, GURDJIEFF , SHAME and DOPAMINE
13 nov 2023· BALBOA PARK
SHOW NOTES:
George Gurdjieff
P.D.Ouspensky
In Search Of The Miraculous
Simon Sinek the Why Ted Talk
my website nicozbalboastudio.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit nicozbalboa.substack.com
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