Episódios
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The Return! With special guest, Les Moore.That’s right guy’s, I’m back!It has been almost three whole months since I have released a new podcast. The last episode, number 234 went live on September 18th. Since then my life got a little crazy and I had some unfortunate technical challenges to overcome. During this three month Hiatus I have made a lot of observations, I have gained many insights, and I have continued on the path of being a better man than I was yesterday. I plan to share these insights with you in upcoming episodes. Today however, for my first episode back in a while we have a special guest who is going to share his personal story with us. This interview has been scheduled for about three months as well. In fact we sat down and recorded it one day several weeks ago and that was when I realized that my technology was not working…it didn’t record. Now thankfully, that issue is resolved and and I am finally able to share this inspiring interview with you.This guest started out as a listener of of this show and I noticed him pretty early on for two reasons. One, because he was always liking things and leaving some comments and two, because he had kind of an unusual name that I really liked. Being named Alf all my life, I kind of have a thing for unusual, clever names, I appreciate them. This persons name was Les Moore. Get it? Less…more? Anyway, He and I had a few interactions over the course of time and one day he sent me a letter really explaining what he has been up to. When I heard his story I knew immediately that he should be a guest on the show because he epitomizes what we are trying to do here at Being A Better Man.Les Moore hails from Pennsylvania. He is a 47 year old married father of two daughters. In January of 2014 Les decided that he wasn’t totally happy with himself for reasons I’ll let him explain. He made a decision that would alter the course of not only his own life, but also the lives of his wife and daughters and probably everyone else that knew him. Les Moore decided to become a healthy, vital, man. When he made this decision he weighed 234 pounds. He was on prescriptions for high blood pressure and high cholesterol. Today he weighs 185 pounds, that means he lost 62 pounds of fat, and he is totally off all prescriptions. His blood pressure and cholesterol are normal. Not only that, Les decided to go the extra mile and do the work it took to become an International Sports Sciences Association certified fitness professional. That’s right, Les became a personal trainer and he is training people in his home...
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Errors In Judgement, and How To Handle Them…Todays program is being brought to you by Stump Town Kilts! they are the makers of the finest kilts available. They are a sponsor of this show because I am a loyal customer of this company and i am happy to stand behind them with my name and reputation. I own three of these kilts and I plan on getting more. Everything about these kilts is top notch; the innovative design, the craftsmanship, the color selection and even the price. I wear them everywhere, doing everything. They are rugged enough for hard work and still nice enough for an evening on the town.Because you are listening to this podcast, you are in luck! You are entitled to a substantial discount by being a Being A Better Man listener. All you have to do is go to their website at: stumptownkilts.com. After you pick out your new kilt just enter the code: betterman at checkout, all lower case, all one word. Do that, and you will become the ecstatic owner of a new Stump Town kilt, at a discounted price. Check them out today at stumptownkilts.com .This week I got a letter from a listener named Kyle. Kyle was wondering if I would talk about something specific, that being; overcoming failure in your life.The kind of failure Kyle was talking about is the same kind of failure each of us have experienced in one way or another. I’m not talking about big things like failing to pass the bar exam or failing to become a millionaire by the time you are 30. No, I’m talking about those little everyday failures. The kinds of things that make you feel regret about who you are and what kind of man you are being.The example Kyle used in his letter was from his own experience. He had been doing well with all of the goals he had set for himself and then one day he went to a casino. He proceeded to get drunk and spend way too much money, he gambled with family money, went home to his wife drunk, and then did the same thing the following day. In his own words, he “made a fool of himself”. We have all done things that we regret after the fact. Maybe you cheated on your wife, or cheated on a test at school? Perhaps you acted inappropriately at an office party? Maybe you let someone down who was really counting on you? You may have treated someone badly for no reason, and now you regret it? There...
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There Are Always Options…After a very long period of silence It is I, Alf Herigstad, back at the Being A Better Man Microphone. It feels really great to be back. It seems like a very long time since I recorded an episode and in reality it has been exactly 3 weeks. 21 days since I have released an episode. That is the longest absence I have ever had and I was a little worried about what the consequences would be. I was concerned that everyone would just go away and listenership would plummet.I’m happy to report that during my absence 8,476 people still listened to the podcast. That’s awesome. Thank you all for hanging in there.As I told you in the last episode, the reason for my absence is that I was going to the Burning Man festival with my wife, father, and uncle. I was going to be separated from technology for a while because I was going to be camping out in the Nevada desert. Now I am back though, and I have some stories to tell. Some insights to share.The first thing I want to report is that we had an amazing time. It was a fantastic experience with my dad and uncle who are both in their 80’s. We saw epic art and we witnessed extreme cases of human innovation. We met people from many countries and made a lot of new friends. It wasn’t all sunshine and rainbow’s though. There were some hard lessons to learn as well on this adventure. Hard lessons are the best kind, because they teach you the most.Before I continue with the rest of this episode I want you to take a wild guess about what I was wearing the whole time I was gone. That’s right! I was wearing Stump Town kilts…what else? I took my black kilt and my green kilt to burning man with me, and I trashed them. The black one was especially destroyed. When I got home it was no longer black. It had become so impregnated with dust and dirt that it was gray. I thought it would never be the same but after it came out of the wash it looked black and beautiful again.I’m telling you guys, these are the best kilts out there. They are durable beyond measure, comfortable, and the unique design makes them extraordinarily useful as well. Stump Town Kilts happens to be a sponsor of this show and if you go to their website: stumptownkilts.com and pick out your new kilt you can receive 10% off your entire purchase by entering the...
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Hate Makes It Impossible, To Be A better Man…As many of you know, since starting this podcast some 232 episodes ago I have been very diligent about not getting political. I have not discussed politics or religion or anything else that tends to divide people. My reason for that is because I have always found it more beneficial to focus on things that make us similar to other people…rather than the things that make us different.I still believe that is true. For example, we are all men, regardless of what color we are or what political party we are aligned with or what Gods we pray to. At the end of the day, we are just human men, trying to be better than we were yesterday. Nothing positive has ever been gained from dividing people into groups based on these types of things. That is why I have steered away from this kind of thing and instead have been focused on manhood in such a way that it can apply to everyone.Well, today it may seem like I am veering from that course a bit. Today I will be making a very pointed observation about something going on right now. If it offends you, you are free to never listen to me again. If it offends you, then you are obviously not aligned with the message this podcast offers. I would add that if you are offended by today’s podcast to at least also give yourself the benefit of hearing me out.Before I get into all that I am going to take a minute to acknowledge the sponsor of today’s program, Stump Town Kilts. One thing I want you to know about these kilts is that they aren’t just clothes. They are not just another garment. In my personal experience these kilts are actually gear. What I mean is that they are built and designed to perform a job, and they do it very well.I have three of these kilts and I have beat them up. I live an active life and I tend to destroy things in record time, especially clothes…just ask my wife. I have put these three kilts through the stress test and still every time when I take them out of the washer they still look great. That’s what I mean by gear—they just keep on performing and looking great for everything I need them to do.It’s all because of the way they are crafted. Each kilt Stump Town makes is attended to by people who actually give a crap about what kind of product they are selling. Combine that with the innovative design and other features that are exclusive to Stump Town and you wind up with the best kilt available in my opinion.Right now you can get a substantial discount on your very own Stump Town Kilt simply by entering the code; betterman at checkout. All lower case, all one word. To get there, just type in
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Plan Your Next Adventure!I don’t know about all of you out there, but I am in full blown summer schedule with everything now. You may have noticed that I have only been releasing episodes on Friday lately, that is evidence that I am super, super busy with the things that summer is demanding of me.Besides the farm, and our property, and relatives visiting and events of all kinds to attend one thing that has had me incredibly busy lately is that I am preparing to go on an adventure. That’s right—an adventure.The adventure I’m going on is my wife and I are bringing my 81 year old father and his 83 year old brother to the Burning Man festival in Nevada. I’m calling it the generational legacy tour of 2017.There are lots of different opinions out there about burning man, and there are still some people that don’t even know what it is. Some people think it’s a den of iniquity where the devil’s minions gather. Other people think it’s just a bunch of dirty hippies running around naked and doing drugs. Other folks think it’s awesome and some people actually go to appreciate the colossal art built in the middle of the desert. Some people go to hear the lectures about all kinds of amazing things.Well, I have been to burning man once in 2015. From my experience burning man can be all of these things, or none of these things. I found that it’s really up to the person going—you get exactly the kind of experience at burning man that you design for yourself. Just like in life.There are around 80,000 people at this festival. They build an actual city in the middle of a dry lakebed called Black Rock City, and then they tear it down. Burning man has a “leave no trace” ethos. After it’s over no trace is left, no garbage, no cigarette butts, nothing. That in itself is really quite remarkable. Like any city there are parts of it that I have no interest in, parts that I will avoid. There are other parts that are amazing though.There are several reasons I like going to burning man. One is simply the challenge of it. You can’t buy any food there. All of your sustenance must be brought with you for the entire week. You are in an extreme environment with blistering heat and cool nights, I’ve seen 70 mile per hour winds there, and dust storms. It’s very much like camping on the moon if it had oxygen. The dirt is fine as talcum powder, nothing grows there and there aren’t even any insects. I love seeing what that extreme environment does to peoples imagination and ingenuity. People come up with truly amazing ways to not only survive, but to thrive out...
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When It’s Hard Being A Father…Be A better Man!Hello Men!As I predicted a few weeks ago the summer schedule has been a little tough. I have not been doing three episodes a week like many of you are used to. There was no Monday or Wednesday episode this week. Summers are always busy up here in the Pacific Northwest but this summer has been particularly so. What I can guarantee is that you will be able to count on the Friday episodes every week. As the weather changes heading into September I suspect things will return to normal though.Because this is a Friday episode I am honor bound to tell you about the sponsor of this show, a company called Stump Town Kilts. When a lot of people think of kilts they imagine plaid garments worn by men toting bagpipes and marching in a funeral or something. While those are definitely traditional Tartan kilts…that is not what I’m talking about. Stump Town Kilts makes modern kilts for the contemporary man and woman. They are garments of comfort, designed with style and function in mind and suitable for everyday use. I own three of these kilts and I have done literally everything wearing them from the dirty jobs to the fancy events. They are durable and comfortable in the dirt, and they look fantastic when you are wanting to get noticed at a social event. These kilts have several innovative features that their competitors do not possess like the adjustable sizes and snap on accessories for example. They come in a variety of colors and even the rivets have options; you can get brass, gun metal, or chrome rivets. If you have ever thought of owning a kilt, or if you have an old dusty kilt you never wear because it doesn’t fit quite right anymore or it’s too much trouble making it hang right. Then a kilt from Stump Town is the only kilt you should consider. Listeners of this program can get a substantial discount simply by going to stumptownkilts.com and entering the code: betterman, at checkout. all lower case, all one word. Do that and you will receive your special discount. Do yourself a favor and check out stumptownkilts.com today.
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Ok guys today I want to talk about an aspect of fatherhood. A lot of the things we talk about here can apply equally to anyone. Many of the topics we deal with have to do with human character and people who are not a man can get something out of it as well, that’s why we have so many non-man listeners and I welcome... -
Living A Half-Assed Life…You have arrived at the podcast devoted exclusively to the topic of the character of men. We don’t talk about sports, or politics, or dating or fashion. Here we talk about the nuts and bolts of what it means to be a man in today’s world, we talk about living with character and purpose. We do this, so that you can apply it to your own life and become a better man today than you were yesterday. I am the host and creator of this show, my name is Alf Herigstad.We are very fortunate to have a sponsor of these Friday episodes. A company I have partnered up with that helps me keep this show in production. That sponsor is Stump Town kilts. They are an American company located in Portland Oregon and they have the distinction of making the finest, most versatile, durable and attractive kilts on the market. I know—because I own three of them and have been a customer of theirs long before I even had a podcast.I approached them to become a sponsor for that reason, because I wanted to represent a company and a product that I believe in 100%. Stump Town kilts have several features that other kilts just don’t have. Like the huge hidden pocket, the adjustable sizes, the snap on accessories, and because of the way they are made you don’t have to iron them. They also come in a variety of colors. I have a black, gray, and a green one, the next one I get will be brown but they also have a camouflage one.I wear mine for every occasion from shearing sheep and chopping wood to fancy diners and officiating weddings. They are the perfect garment for any occasion. Right now, as a listener of this show you can get your very own Stump Town Kilt for a substantial discount. Go to stumptownkilts.com and do all your shopping. When you are checking out remember to enter the special code to get your discount, that code is: betterman. All lower case, all one word. Do that and you will receive your discount and also let them know you heard about it right here. Today I’m going to talk a minute about someone I actually know. I won’t use his name and I’m sure he doesn’t listen to this show but I want to talk about him because he is a perfect example of something I call; living a half-assed life.So this guy is in his mid thirties and I have know him for a few years, several in fact. We met by way of an organization we were both involved with that dealt with a shared interest. Pretty quickly I noticed that he only did things half way. He did just enough to...
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What Is Required To Be A Leader?Welcome to the beginning of another glorious week in your life as a man. I think every man should be having a glorious life. If you are not currently having a glorious life, the bad news is that it’s probably your fault. The good news, is that every day is a brand new day, and you can be the creator of your own destiny. As men we have the power to create, imagine, dream and innovate. We can sculpt the world around us into what we desire through the strength of our own will. That’s the kind of stuff we talk about here. I am your host, and my name is Alf Herigstad.I have a friend that I met through the medium of podcasting named Wally Carmichael. He lives in Hawaii and he is the host of his own podcast called “Men Of Abundance”. Wally and I are very aligned on issues that pertain to men, and I encourage you all to check out his show, there will be a link to it in the show notes as well.The reason I’m bringing Wally and his show up is because I read something on his Facebook wall and I knew instantly that I was going to steal it and talk about it. I let him know, but I want to be sure and give credit where credit is due.In this post Wally was talking about the essence of leadership. It was beautifully and accurately worded and I’m going to share it with you then talk about it for a little bit.Wally wrote: “Men, if you have to tell someone you’re a leader, chances are, you’re not.Those who chose to follow you make you a leader. You’re position does not determine if you’re a leader.Your age or seniority does not determine if you’re a leader.Your skills determine if you’re a leader. Not even being a dad and a husband make you a leader.When others choose to follow you, then you’re leader.That is not a free ticket to start managing other people’s life. You must remain humble in your position as a leader and continue being the man others have chosen to follow and or walk along side you.”So that’s what he wrote. I love this. To me this is like poetry that doesn’t rhyme. I think one reason this speaks so loudly to me is because during my life I have known so many men who got this completely wrong.
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One Of The Worst Things You Can Do…It is time once again for Being A better Man, the podcast focused exclusively on the character of men in all of its various forms. I am your humble sherpa on this journey, my name is Alf Herigstad, I’m the creator and host of this show.Before I delve into today’s content I’m going to take a moment to acknowledge the sponsor of our Friday episodes: StumpTown Kilts. Stump town Kilts is a company located in Portland Oregon, also known as “Stump Town”. It is there that a few brave, industrious souls dedicate their life to the creation of what I believe to be the best kilts money can buy. Each kilt is expertly crafted with the finest most durable material. The designs are both functional and innovative, which means they have features other kilts do not. Such as the huge hidden pocket, adjustable sizes and snap on accessories. One of my favorite features is that I don’t have to iron them. In addition to having an amazing kilt that will be the envy of everyone who see’s you, you will also have the privilege of dealing with the people who work there. They are all great people who really care about your comfort and appearance when you are wearing their product.Right now you can receive a substantial discount as a listener of this show. Just go to stumptownkilts.com. It’s an easy website to navigate. Pick out your color, size and accessories and then when you check out enter the code: betterman, all one word all lower case. When you do that you will receive your discount and you will also let them know you are a listener of Being A better Man. Go to stumptownkilts.com and enter the code: betterman today._______________________________We all have certain things that disgust us right? One of the things that disgusts me is when I hear a grown man complaining about his wife or girlfriend, running her down to other people, demeaning and disrespecting her. I really don’t enjoy hearing men complain about anything at all, I think it’s pathetic…but it is particularly nauseating to me when a man will complain about his significant other.Don’t get me wrong. It’s one thing to confide some legitimate problem you are having to a friend, seeking advice and counsel. I don’t consider that complaining. Sometimes we have to do that to work things out.What I’m talking about is when guys will complain about someone just for the sake of complaining. Or when they will try to be funny by saying derogatory things, at the expense of someone who isn’t there to defend...
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226 – Choosing Your Friends Wisely…Today I’m talking about the skill of choosing who your friends are. You may have never though of it as a skill before, but I think it is. I think it’s a skill that can be learned because it isn’t something we are born knowing how to do, and also because it’s something we can get better at. I classify anything that can be improved upon with practice and effort, as a skill.As human beings we are pack animals. Our existence is made up entirely of the relationships we have with other humans. Our families, friends and acquaintances comprise the whole of our interactions and it is these relationships that become the fabric of our life. That’s one reason I always express the importance and value of relationships.As such, the other humans we choose to spend the most time with is critical. Lets face it; there are good people and bad people and everything in between. Our lives are heavily influenced by the other humans we choose to spend the most time with. So doesn’t it make sense to choose to spend time with people that will make our life better? I think it does.Nowadays people tend to be hyper sensitive about not being judgmental. As though there is something wrong about making a judgement about someone else’s character or value. I don’t get that at all. I think not only is it ok to make judgements about people, I think it is our obligation. We owe it to ourselves to do so.If I know that I am the sum total of the five people I spend the most time with, then I am going to be very discriminating about who those five people are. I will judge the people who come into my life to determine if they are aligned with my world view. Is there anything I can learn from them? Do they have experience or knowledge that I seek? I will judge wether or not they will be a liability to my objectives, or if they will be an asset.At the same time I expect those people are judging me by the same criteria. If there is a group of people I want to be a part of then I need to bring some sort of value to that group. If my presence doesn’t elevate the sum total of that group in some way—then why would I expect they would want me around?At the same time I need to genuinely like the people I spend time with. I need to enjoy their company. Some people may be aligned with me in every conceivable way and yet—our personalities are simply not compatible. Maybe their sense of humor is off, or maybe I have some habit or mannerism that drives them crazy. It’s really difficult to...
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I appreciate you taking a little time out of your manly day to listen in. My intention is that you will receive something from this podcast that will cause you to think. That you will be inspired to consider your own personal manhood as you go through your day. It’s important, because staying aware and purposeful and mindful of your role in the world will result in you being a better man today than you were yesterday. I am your host, my name is Alf Herigstad.Right off the bat though, I’m going to give a huge shout out to our sponsor; Stump Town Kilts. I realize that it might be easy for you guys to hear me talk about Stump Town kilts every Friday and you get used to it—immune to it even. You may not realize how important it is to have a sponsor that helps me be able to produce this show, so that you can listen to it. It really is a vital component to what we do here because believe it or not, this takes time and resources to create. Time and resources cost money.There are three things that keep us going; Stump Town kilts, our Patreon page, and my book. These are the three main revenue streams that keep this podcast afloat. I know there are a bunch of you out there that hear me talk about these kilts and you intend to get one, you have every intention of it. The same is true of the Patreon Page and the book. You intend to, but then life happens and you start doing something else and you forget. I get it—I do the same thing all the time, but that’s why I keep bringing it up. To help remind you.So look, if you are one of those guys that has been intending to get your very own Stump Town Kilt, you can decide to wait no longer! Go to stumptownkilts.com and start shopping for your new kilt right now. When you are checking out enter the purchase code: betterman, all lower case, all one word, and you will receive 10% off your entire purchase. Then come back and listen to the rest of this episode.I would not ask you to do this if I didn’t believe in this product 100%. In my opinion these are the finest, most well made, versatile, innovative kilts on the market. That’s why I own three of them. Do this, and you will be thrilled with your new kilt and, all the compliments you get when you wear it. What I want to talk about today is being realistic. To be realistic about everything but mainly to be realistic about yourself. I’m talking about being real and honest about who you are, what your capabilities are, what you’re good...
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A Better Man Knows How To Listen…This is the podcast that focuses on the character of men. Part of our core philosophy here is that if we become concerned with and focused on, our character as men. Then everything else in our life will start falling in place as a result. Think about it—if you are really trying to be a better man today than you were yesterday, and you are doing that every day, there will be some predictable results.Your relationships with other people will be improved. That means all your relationships; your love life, your work relationships, social and family relationships will all be enhanced because you will be operating at a higher level in each of those areas as you strive to be a better man. You will have care for others and a clear idea of what your role is in the world, your function as a man. People will naturally like, trust, and appreciate you more and that translates to improved relationships across the board. Your relationship with yourself will even be improved because you will know and like yourself better. You will be proud of the things you do right. Your confidence will be increased as you come to know yourself better. You come to see your shortcomings as opportunities to improve, rather than feeling bad about them. So that is what we are all about here at Being A better Man. Improving your life, and the lives of people around you.People often ask me how I keep coming up with shows. This is episode 224, that is a lot of episodes and it boggles some peoples mind that there is that much to say about being a better man. The truth is, and what I tell people, is that it isn’t really that hard. There is so much material out there in the world every day. All I have to do is spend 10 minutes on social media or take a trip into town and everywhere I look there is something to talk about.Now–people that know me also send me articles or share posts with me that they think may be relevant to the podcast and that’s fantastic. Recently my wife shared a story with me, a post written by someone she knows personally. In this post her friend was lamenting the fact that she is completely fed up with men. Specifically, her issue is that when men approach her romantically and she is not interested—a large majority of men in her experience then become abusive. They attack her, call her names, stalk and harass her. Basically, they act very much like a spoiled, entitled three year old that is denied the cookie they asked for. My wife went on to tell me that she has heard many women having this experience. To the point that she believes it is becoming a real problem out there. She thought...
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The Virtues Of Hard Work…I want to take a second and talk about a message I received yesterday from a regular listener named Les. It made my whole day. Les bought a copy of my book, Forging A Man. Les has two young daughters and he started reading a chapter of the book to them as bedtime stories each night. He told me about one story in particular that had a profound effect on them and even had them moved to tears. He went on to say that they are getting a lot from the lessons each story has as well. This is exactly the kind of thing I envisioned when I was writing this book. It can be used as a tool to impact other people. Not just men, or boys—but women, and as Les has testified, even little girls will get value from these stories. It’s called Forging A Man, but these stories are really about just being human, regardless of gender.So thank you Les for sharing your experience with me. I would love to hear other stories like that from other readers just write: [email protected]. If you have not gotten your copy yet, there is a link directly to it in the show notes of this episode.Today I want to talk about the virtue of good old fashioned back breaking hard work. It’s something many people tend to avoid these days. There are many people who have never actually done excruciatingly hard physical labor in their whole life. These are soft times we live in. We buy our food already prepared. Our clothes come ready to wear, and the buildings we live in are just there…when something goes wrong we call someone else to fix it.As a species we are becoming more and more distant from our physical roots. We have forgotten that our bodies are dynamic, useful tools capable of great industry. Some people compensate by going to the gym and working out real hard. They do that because it feels good. Hard work releases endorphins in your brain that make you feel good. Hard physical labor does the same thing.I’m thinking about this today because a couple days ago I helped my brother on a job. A huge fir tree was cut down in a widow’s yard and she was paying my brother to remove it. I need more firewood for winter so I agreed to help. When I say it was a huge tree I am not exaggerating. It was over three feet in diameter at the base and over 100 feet long. It was cut into 16 inch sections, but each round of wood weighed several hundred pounds because they were so huge.
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The Beauty Of Independence…Tomorrow is Independence Day here in America. I decided to go back to see what I talked about least year during this holiday. I liked it so much that I decided to replay it this year. So here it is again, from the archives:I know I have a lot of listeners who are not from America…so for you, the 4th of July is just the day that comes after the 3rd of July.In America though…it is independence day. It is the anniversary of the day 240 years ago that the declaration of independence was signed. With the signing of that document America became a new nation, completely independent from Britain’s rule. All of a sudden we were our own boss…we were independent.So the 4th of July is our national day. Other countries have National day’s too. I decided to look them up and I found a list of 171 countries that have National days, and in most cases it is a day that celebrates independence from another country.As I was looking over the list I started to notice something…Of the 171 countries listed, 55 of them celebrated their independence from the United Kingdom on their national day…just like us.There are a couple ways to look at it…the glass half empty approach would be that England really was hell-bent on taking over the whole world and it didn’t work out so well. While with the glass half full approach you could say that Great Britain is responsible for 32% of the national celebrations in the world…Yay for England!Putting all that aside, a question looms; Why is independence such a big deal that it causes entire countries to come together and celebrate it? In America we celebrate with fireworks and picnics, eating and drinking, families spending time together and people getting the day off work…unless you happen to work at one of the National retail chains that tries to capitalize on our patriotism.I had the great opportunity to be in Oslo Norway one year when they celebrated their National day on the 17th of May. They had won their independence from Denmark. It was similar to the fourth of July in many ways…but it seemed bigger to me somehow, grander, deeper. It made the 4th of July seem like a great party, while the 17th of May was a true celebration that fills the people with national pride from the youngest to the oldest. They have a parade of children in every town…imagine a river of children going through the streets waving flags and holding banners. There are speeches in the parks, and games the whole community can join into, they wear special clothing called Bunads that signifies the area they are from. So…it is a party, yes, and it’s a lot of fun…but the people really come together and celebrate something; their independence and autonomy as a nation. Nationals, immigrants, children and elderly all come together on this day for this... -
The Conversation Is Critical, And It’s Up To You…First…a word about our sponsor:This is Friday, and we are privileged to have our Friday episodes brought to you by our sponsor, stumptownkilts.com. Listeners of this show can get 10% off their entire purchase by using the code: betterman at checkout. Just go to stumptownkilts.com, do your shopping, pick out your new kilt and enter the code betterman at checkout to receive your discount. That’s betterman, all one word, all lower case.I’m proud to have Stump town as a sponsor of this show because I believe in their company and their product. I own three of their kilts myself and I plan on getting more because there are some colors I don’t have. You don’t need to iron these kilts, they are made from the best materials with the most innovative designs. Like the huge hidden pocket, adjustable sizes, and snap-on accessories. So don’t wait, summer is here and it’s time to wear your kilt. Support this show by going to stumptownkilts.com today.
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On this show we talk about things that have to do with the act of being a man. The character of men. We talk about the role men have and the responsibility that comes along with it. The reason we do this, is because someone has to. I think one of the problems of our society is that somewhere along the line people in general just stopped talking about what manhood means. So, that’s one of the things we do here.Before the modern era, before people were so busy and so engrossed in technology I think it was a more regular part of the conversation. Sons grew up in their fathers shadows with uncles and neighbors and other male members of the community all around them, having conversations with them. The expectations of becoming a man were clear, and spoken, and demonstrated. In those days a boy looked forward to becoming a man and being a contributing member of the community. He looked forward with great anticipation to being recognized and regarded as a fellow man in the tribe. Like I said though, somewhere along the line in the past hundred years I think people in general just stopped talking about it as much.Nowadays Dads are too busy. Uncles and neighbors are also busy, and not a constant presence in a boy’s life. Much of a day’s time is spent with everyone starring at the... -
Your Life, Your Legacy, Your Responsibility…From time to time I talk about legacy on this show—and today is one of those days. If a man becomes mindful of his legacy every day then being a better man becomes second nature. It happens without even thinking about it. I’m thinking about this today because of the weekend I just had. I just got back from a camping trip with my family, which is why I am posting this so late on Monday…because I wasn’t home.On this camping trip there was myself, my wife, four of my grand children, my nephew, my son-in-law, and my 81 year old father. There were nine of us all together. We went to a camp site up on Chinook Pass in Washington State, on the white river. It was a great, relaxing time for everyone, we had great food, we panned for gold and went fishing, we played in the freezing cold river and found interesting things and played games around the camp fire. I helped my dad walk across the river, and stopped with him when he needed to rest. We told stories, and laughed, and shared experiences. I brought knives for the kids to whittle wood with and I made the best pancakes I have ever eaten.All of that was wonderful, and fun, but these are not the most important things that happened. Behind and in between all of this the important things that happened this weekend are that memories were made that will last a lifetime. Bonds of relationship were forged and strengthened. We all learned new things about ourselves, and about each other. We learned about how we all fit together as a family. These are priceless things, precious, valuable things. These are vital components that are required in order to create a legacy that will endure and be of some benefit to the generations that follow you. I have been mindful of my legacy for several years now, it has become a habit. In everything I do I consider what impact it will have on my descendants. When I make something, I imagine what some future grandchild I have never met will feel when they hold it. How will they feel when they hold it and know it was made with my hands, from my imagination. When I record podcasts, I imagine my future descendants are going to listen to it and I want it to be helpful to them. Not just because of the content, but because it will give them insight into their own self, because they came from me. I think a persons identity is subconsciously influenced by knowing where and who they came from. I have a responsibility to give my descendants something good to hang onto.The same is true of what I write. I often imagine some distant member of my progeny 100 years in the future picking up my book, Forging A Man, going through the stories and discovering new parts of themselves in the pages. Then I imagine them being improved as a...
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Who are you…In your relationships?Today I’m going to talk a little bit about your individual role in the lives of people around you. Who exactly are you to these people? I’m always saying that our relationships are the most valuable things we possess, and today I’m going to get a little deeper into that topic. Before I do that though, I’m going to take a minute and mention the sponsor of today’s episode; StumpTown Kilts.Right now we are entering premier kilt wearing weather, summer is upon us and there will be barbecues, and parties and get-togethers. There are fairs and carnivals and parades coming up. There will be family reunions and weddings, camp outs and fishing trips. Summer is the time all of these things happen with great frequency, and each one of these events are the perfect time to show up wearing your beautiful and extremely manly, StumpTown Kilt. If you want to make a statement of confidence without uttering a word. If you would like to be noticed without doing anything special and be comfortable doing it—just show up in your kilt. Each StumpTown Kilt is expertly crafted out of the best materials with you in mind. The come in a wide range of colors and there is a selection of accessories you can get as well. As a listener of this show you can get a substantial discount by going to there website at: stumptownkilts.com then as you are checking out, enter the code: betterman, all lower case, all one word, and you will receive 10% off your entire purchase. Summer is here, so don’t wait, head over to stumptownkilts.com today.Ok, so each one of us have relationships with other people. We are sons and brothers, fathers, husbands, boyfriends and co-workers. We are friends, uncles, nephews, and neighbors, and we are customers, employee’s and supervisors. Every time you interact with another human some degree of relationship is established. It may be very slight in passing, or it may be profound and deep, but all of these interactions together make up the entire spectrum of your relationships.All of these relationships from the seemingly insignificant to the profound are important. They are, as I have said many times, the most valuable things you possess. The quality of your life, the level of happiness, joy and prosperity you experience on earth is a direct reflection of the quality of your relationships.It’s just how we were designed as humans. We are pack animals, we were never intended to be...
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Seasons Of Change, You Are In Charge…Summertime is upon us. This fact is more evident in some places than others; Phoenix was 119 degrees yesterday and Seattle was 75. On the other side of the world in the Southern hemisphere they are heading into winter, but all over the earth people are experiencing the change of a season in one way or another.Yesterday, June 20th, was actually the summer solstice, the longest day of the year if you are in the Northern hemisphere. Now every day will get slightly shorter than the day before until we arrive at the shortest day of the year, which is in December.As humans we don’t think about seasons in the same way we used to. Our lives aren’t as affected by the weather and temperatures as they used to be. I believe however, that season changes are a natural time for us still, to take stock of our lives. To take a look at the path we are on and make the necessary adjustments. For our ancient ancestors the seasons and the weather were one of the biggest considerations they had. When the summer solstice came along it was a huge reminder for them to tend their crops, to do everything necessary to ensure a good harvest. They had to make sure they had enough fuel and food because the days were getting shorter and that meant winter was coming. With the winter came darkness and cold, sometimes death and starvation. The fact that you exist today is proof that your ancestors did a good job, they survived so that you can live.Nowadays we barely notice the changes from one season to the next because we continue to eat and live the same way all year around. That doesn’t mean the seasons are not still significant…it only means our perception of them has changed. I am suggesting that as men we can still use the seasons to galvanize our action, to focus our efforts and attention onto the things that matter.For example, now summer is here. What are your plans for the summer? What do you want to accomplish before Autumn gets here? How will you make the best use of your time in the next three months? It’s a great time to take a minute and reflect on your life. Get a piece of paper and write down what your summer goals are. Then write down how you plan to accomplish them. Use this summer season as a tool, a device to accomplish some positive things in your life. Every day when you look outside you will be reminded that it is summer, and then you will remember that you have summer goals.You can do the same thing for every season; fall, winter, and spring. It’s a very natural thing to do because it is the way our species developed.
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What If…You Have A terrible Father?This is the 217th episode of Being A Better Man and I got to thinking that I may not have ever explained why I do the show in the way that I do. Basically, I am making the kind of podcast that I would like to listen to. There isn’t a lot of small talk, there isn’t a lot of music or other production type things. When I tune into a podcast I personally don’t like it when there is a lot of jibber jabber…I like it when they get right to the point and talk about whatever the topic is. So, that’s how I make Being A Better Man. As a result, these episodes are shorter, but I think I usually say more in 15 minutes than many podcast do in 45. I respect your time, and I don’t want to waste it. I’m not saying this is either right or wrong…it’s just how I do it, and now you know why.Yesterday was Father’s day in America and people everywhere were celebrating their dads. Many of you who are father’s were celebrated too, and I think that is a great thing. Fatherhood is something worthy of celebration and recognition. There is something else I think about whenever Father’s day rolls around though. I was fortunate to have a fantastic father, but I can’t help but think about all the people who did not have great dads. Guys who didn’t even know their fathers. People who’s father died when they were young. People who have mean or abusive fathers. Fathers in prison, or fathers who abandoned them. I think about all these people on father’s day, because it must be kind of rough for them.I try to put myself in the shoes of a person who has a father that is not worthy of celebration. What is it like when the rest of the country and everyone on social media is talking about what a great dad they have. I try to imagine what that must be like—but I can’t, not really, because that is not my experience. This episode is dedicated to everyone out there in this situation though. I want you to know that you are not forgotten.It’s not fun to talk about, but the fact is that there are a lot of crappy father’s out there. I personally know several men who have grown up without the benefit of a good father. It’s a real problem, it is definitely a handicap. I applaud all the single moms out there who are doing their very best to take up the slack. It’s tough though, it’s a tough deal all around.The good news is that it is not the end of the world. Like any other situation, you have choices. You may be lacking the example a good father can provide, but you can still choose to prevail
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Why A Man Should Never Be Bored…You may have noticed that there was no episode two days ago on Wednesday. The summers are intense up here on the farm and they are very high impact. For the rest of the summer months I may occasionally miss an episode here or there because there aren’t always enough hours in the day, but if I do, it will likely be the Wednesday episode. I will not miss the Friday episodes for sure and hopefully not the Monday ones, just giving you a heads up.You know, missing this episode has caused me to ponder matters of time. Time is an issue for everyone, and how we fill our time is critical. How we manage our time is of equal importance. So here I am, with not enough hours in the day. I literally can stay busy doing stuff from when I wake up until I go to bed—so I would say I’m on one end of the extreme. On the other end of the extreme are guys that run out of stuff to do. You do all the regular stuff like eat, sleep, go to work, and go to the bathroom, but then you run out of things to do. It’s hard for me to imagine, but you get bored with life. You sit there without any meaningful activity to fill your time, so instead you allow your mind to be sucked out by TV or video games. In between these two extremes are where most people will fall in various combinations. I personally think that one of the worst things a man can do is be bored, because that is when bad stuff happens. I’m going to talk about that today, but first I will take a minute to talk about the superstars of our Friday episodes, out sponsor, StumpTown Kilts.I spent all last weekend outside on our place building things and doing chores and stuff like that. Luckily for me, I was wearing a StumpTown Kilt. I say I was lucky because it is the perfect garment for doing multiple tasks. They have that huge hidden pocket in the front so I can anticipate all the tools and fittings and other things I might need and put them in there. That way I never had to walk all the way back to my shop because I didn’t have what I needed.That is just one small example of the kilt lifestyle. This coming weekend I will be hosting a big get together and I will be wearing my kilt simply because it looks and feels awesome.The quality of craftsmanship and design are unequalled with StumpTown Kilts no matter what you are doing. That’s why they are a sponsor of this show. Right now listeners of Being A Better Man can get 10% off their online purchase by entering the code: betterman, at checkout. all one word, all lower case. To get to their website, just type in
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