Episódios
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We spend so much time worrying about the future. What if this happens, what if that happens, and then this could happen and then that could happen and it'll all be terrible. This is called catastrophic thinking. It's not helpful. If you are doing everything you can to make your life better, then there is no point in worrying about the possibilities that it will get worse. That doesn't help. That creates stress and anxiety and it suppresses your immune system and it increases your chances of illnesses, injuries and accidents, and unhappiness as well as depression. If there are things that are out of your control, you need to accept that and then be in the moment, be here now, embrace today and enjoy today and enjoy the people in your life and do things that are satisfying for you. And then, when the future shows up, if it is unpleasant, you will deal with it. OK so that's the deal. Stop freaking out over the future. Be here now. Smell the coffee. Love everything as much as you can. Today is all you really have that you can count on.
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Most people are poor communicators, which explains why there are so many misunderstandings, resentments, grievances, screaming matches with loved ones and on X (formerly Twitter) and other social media sites with people who disagree with you. It's because people don't listen. They don't think before they speak. And this causes most of the ongoing conflicts in their lives. If you are one of these people, here is the secret sauce to effective communication that works with loved ones, friends, neighbors, peers, co-workers, employers, you name it: First VALIDATE. And then COUNTERPOINT. By validating first, you reduce the likelihood that the person will get defensive and angry, causing the dialogue to unravel quickly. So when you feel the need to criticize someone and/or enlighten that person, think before you speak and choose a validating statement before making your case.
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Estão a faltar episódios?
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When most people are given a suggestion to do something, they immediately respond with "No! That's stupid. That won't work. I'm not going to do it." They don't consider the suggestion. They don't look at the evidence. They don't weigh the good points vs the bad points. They say no. This is a mistake. This automatic knee-jerk no is thoughtless. It is ego. It is self-sabotaging. Best to consider all options. Investigate the validity. Consider the possibility. Odds are you will discover yourself doing things in your best interest that you used to immediately negate. You will be wiser. Your world will get better. You will be happier, healthier, and more prosperous.
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I will be well. I will myself to be well. Nothing can attack me or harm me except my own thoughts, except my fear. Regardless of circumstances, I remember who I AM: I am NOT a body. I am Free. I am guiltless. I am sinless. I am eternal. I am invulnerable. I am as God created me. Only the mind can be sick. Only the mind is in need of healing.
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Let me just say that this is an invaluable exercise if you choose to engage in it. This will improve your relationships, your self-esteem, your ability to maximize the Law of Attraction, your health and your happiness. AND it will help move humanity up the evolutionary ladder.
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The reason why there are so many people who are unhappy, angry, anxious, depressed, frustrated, and unfulfilled is because they have failed to apply THREE KEY PRINCIPLES in all aspects of their lives. Truth. Compassion. Calm.
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The answer should be "No." We forgive others for our own peace of mind, regardless of whether people are sorry or not, apologize or not, etc. We forgive others to release our anger, our resentments, our judgments, our sense of victimhood. Our forgiveness is unconditional. It does not depend on the offender doing anything. We forgive because it is in OUR best interests to do so.
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I saw a photo of a woman hunter with a big smile on her face standing in front of a giraffe she had just murdered. It made me literally cry to see the pride and joy on her face. It is a sickness of the soul that one would get pleasure out of snuffing out the life of another animal who is innocent and unable to protect itself from such heartless savagery. The giraffe is now on the endangered species list because of soulless idiots like that woman. We need to defend those who are weaker than us, rather than dominate and destroy them.
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Do you wait till you're about to go to sleep to start worrying and scaring yourself over the difficult, anxiety-provoking issues in your life? If so, STOP IT! I don't mean you should stop worrying, that's okay, worrying can be helpful, but not before bedtime. Put aside a time earlier in the evening to worry about stuff and then when it's time to go to bed you won't have to keep yourself up worrying because you already did it! It works. Takes practice. It can be done. Personal growth is a matter of developing good habits. And so is mental health.
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Social Anxiety Disorder is a condition of extreme anxiety related to meeting new people and being around people, the fear being that you will say or do something that will appear incredibly foolish and embarrassing. Rather than get proper treatment, you tend to avoid people and co-exist with your discomfort and happiness. But it doesn't have to be that way. There are techniques for decreasing the anxiety, de-sensitizing yourself, and increasing your self-esteem and confidence.
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There are times when we need to take action, to be aggressive, to make our case, to stake our claim. And then there are times when it is best to not take action, to hold our tongue, to wait and see, to not expose our hand, to not act impulsively. There is great wisdom in knowing when to do which.
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To hate anything Is a mistake. Hate reduces clarity, increases impulsivity, and blocks the flow of wisdom from your Higher Self
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Set boundaries. Validate, then counterpoint. Choose your battles. Everything is love or a call for love. Do you want to be right or happy? Anger hurts, forgiveness heals. Treat others as you wish to be treated.
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Many of us stay in relationships way too long, way past the point where there is any real hope that things will change for the better and provide us with the satisfying, sustainable relationship that we desire. It is often the fear of loneliness that keeps us in the relationship. Perhaps the dread of having to start the process over again of searching for and finding a loving partner. As the red flags in the relationship pile up, we sweep them under the rug. Perhaps we have outbursts of anger on a regular basis. Perhaps we have resentments simmering below the surface. Either way, we're not happy. And perhaps we could be if we chose to cut our losses and move on. Not an easy decision to make but perhaps a worthwhile one in the long run.
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We can get depressed because it runs in our family. We can get depressed because our family was dysfunctional and we developed insecurity and low self-esteem. We can get depressed because of our job, our health, our relationships. Medications may help. Talk Therapy may help. Taking action may help. Despite the tremendous fatigue, lack of interest, lack of motivation and drive, and feelings of hopelessness and helplessness that can come with depression, if we take action, if we force ourselves to do one thing each day to move our lives to a better place, it can have a significant impact on our depression and speed up our recovery.
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Our thoughts create our reality. Our fears generate our failures. Our love can move mountains.
Best we choose our thoughts wisely. -
Many of us don't set and maintain boundaries with abusive people in our lives because we fear that rather than cooperate with what we are asking of them, they will choose to end the relationship, which then brings up issues of abandonment within us which generates anxiety and perhaps depression as well which we fear we will not be able to deal with. Consequently, the abuse continues, our emotional needs continue to be unmet, and we experience ongoing anger, resentment, and dissatisfaction.
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We terrorize ourselves with our fear thoughts. We exaggerate them and build on them to the point of actually believing they're likely to happen (which they usually aren't) and then we react with intense fear, panic, desperation, demoralization, etc. in anticipation of them happening. Best not to react to terrible things until they are actually happening. Prepare for the worst but don't live in perpetual daily dread of the future. Be here now. Find happiness today despite life's difficulties.
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Many of us do not have a solid sense of self, such that when the world smiles at us we feel good, when the world frowns at us we feel bad. This makes us victims of the external world. This puts our personal power in the hands of others rather than in our own hands where it belongs. Best we not let undue praise or criticism fool us, diminish us or get in the way of us feeling good about ourselves. Regardless of other people's opinions and attitudes towards us, we know who we are.
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A number of people have challenged the idea of extending love to toxic people, narcissists, etc, claiming that these people can't change and you're only inviting more toxicity and pain. Let me clarify that we extend love to others, we forgive others, not to change them but to free ourselves from the emotional bondage that goes with hanging onto anger, resentments, grievances, etc. We forgive others for our own peace of mind. It doesn't mean we have to hang around them, tolerate them, or have them in our lives to any degree. Extending love to others can be a very transformative experience for all concerned. But the bottom line is this: Our happiness, our inner peace are a consequence of the choices we make. And one of those choices is to do the best we can to forgive, love and accept others unconditionally and despite how they are behaving. It's a tall order. It's something we should aspire to. It is the formula for inner peace and... eventually.... world peace.
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