Episódios
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GOOD NEWS! This week we're talking about S03E07, "New York, New York" and it's FINE! By this show's standards! Sure, there's an extremely problematic joke, but at least Bunny thought it was funny! Most importantly, Ruben wasn't in it. This week, we're cutting the baby in half. It's a classic both-win situation!
Sam | Jordan
Patreon | Discord
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This is S03E06, "She Went That Away". This episode taught me that you can just not write if you don't feel like it, so
Sam | Jordan
Patreon | Discord
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Estão a faltar episódios?
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I hope you hate Amy, because this week we're talking about S03E05, "Which Way Did She Go?" and the writers sure do! I guess they're only capable of liking a maximum of one of their characters per episode and they used all of their kindness up on George's dick. At least we get a really fun, unproblematic celebrity cameo! This week, we meet our Hitler quota for the season. Thanks for nothing, Brenda!
Sam | Jordan
Patreon | Discord
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Get ready for some bad podcasting! It's S03E04, "Goodbye Amy Juergens", the worst episode of the show so far! Our brains were so broken by this episode that we had to cut like ten minutes of us arguing about desserts and the definition of "studio apartment". Sometimes you just don't want to talk about the actual show! Remember when we said season 3 seemed less awful than season 2? We were so naive! This week, we meet up with our old friend Sex Girl. Ohhhhh nooooo!
Sam | Jordan
Patreon | Discord
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Folks, something is happening that has never happened before. We have found a polarizing episode. Friend of the show Matt joins Jordan on Team Wrong this week to incorrectly claim that S03E03, "Get Out of Town", isn't that bad, while Sam confirms that it's one of the worst. The fact is, this episode was trash and Sam is good and smart. Jordan and Matt told Sam they will each give him $100 as an apology for thinking this episode wasn't terrible! How nice! This week, we find an excuse to do Marshall voice again. [Slide whistle!]
Sam | Jordan | Matt
Patreon | Discord
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Great news: this show finally made Jordan violently ill! This week, we're holding ourselves together as best we can while we talk about S03E02, "Accentuate the Positive"! Could this be? Is it finally the legendary good season? No! Don't be ridiculous! This week, we're boosting our treble. Look at this good picture!
Sam | Jordan
Patreon
Also, we have a Discord server now!
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This week on Patreon we started our new series of bonus content, The Secret Life of the American Computer! The computer-generated script is written by Sam in more or less the same way as the Botnik script for our Just Say Me episode, but with two changes: 1) some of the shorter/simpler lines are just written normally by Sam because this process takes forever otherwise, and more importantly 2) there is now fun narration written by Sam and not Botnik, describing the scenes as they play out! One episode in and the story is already getting extremely weird. If you want to hear more, all episodes will be on our Patreon and can be unlocked for as low as $1 a month!
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Hi! Now I know what you're thinking: "Wow, what a great title! I'm really happy to see it!" You're welcome! Anyway, welcome to season 3! Today we're discussing S03E01, "Do Over". Actually one of the less offensive episodes, which is to say, it made us both very angry. At least Leo and Betty are having a fun time on their honeymoon. This week, the episode title is not "Piss and Worcestershire". Aren't you glad?
Sam | Jordan
Patreon
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Hey, teens! Sam didn't have time to record a regular episode this week, so in its place is the first of our fan fiction readings that we will be doing for our Patreon! Since we knew we'd be releasing this one to patrons and non-patrons alike, we decided to begin with one very special story read from beginning to end - "Secrets" by FanFiction.net user eCullenONLY! A challenging read, but we were up to the task. This week, we finally get to wear our Vans! See you next week for season 3!
Sam | Jordan
Patreon
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We've done it! 40% of this show in the rearview mirror! Friend of the show Argyle Funk joins us once again as we discuss S02E24, "Ben There, Done That". A bad one. Just a real bad ending to a real bad season. In fact, it was so bad, we accidentally said some Singin' in the Rain trivia that turned out to be false. Oops! This week, we're making some very inappropriate peer-to-teen choice behaviors. Goodbye forever, Jimmy!
Sam | Jordan | Argyle
Patreon
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Teens, if you've been feeling cranked out, we've got exciting news for you! It's a new episode of Juergen' It with friend of the show Sara, from podcasts! We'll be occasionally talking about S02E23, "I Got You, Babe", in between discussions of anime. Have you ever heard of Dragonball Z? It's pretty wild. This week, we're climbing the Aggro Crag. Don't trust the government!
Sam | Jordan | Sara
Patreon
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Brace yourselves, because this week we're talking about S02E22, "Good Girls & Boys"! It's... not the worst episode! Grant is still here which sucks, but Ben gets his shoulder obliterated so that's something. This week, we've come up with an innovative new way of having important conversations. Listen to this!
Sam | Jordan
Patreon
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Hi. We here at Juergen' It know you have a lot of choices when it comes to podcasts, so we would like to thank you for choosing ours. There, now this episode is more relevant than the actual show episode to its title: S02E21, "Choices"! Hey, what do you know - it's a bad one! I think there may have been some brain swapping between episodes because I don't know who half of these people are. This week, we're all out of respecting women juice. Sorry about the Sandler voice!
Sam | Jordan
Patreon
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Brace yourselves, teens. This week, we explore the hellscape that is S02E20, "Mistakes Were Made". Not a whole lot of redeeming qualities to this episode, it turns out! Ken Fields exposes himself as a fraud, Sam exposes himself as a hypocrite, and Grant exposes himself as a serial killer again, just for good measure. This week, we enter the Ricky Retrieval Arc. RIP Good Adrian (2009-10).
Sam - https://twitter.com/posistress
Jordan - https://twitter.com/BradypusRexPatreon - https://www.patreon.com/juergenit
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Teens, we're back! Jordan has returned from Japan, a changed man. Now his voice sounds slightly worse! Other than that, it's business as usual for S02E19, "The Rhythm of Life". Since this a teen drama, we're obligated to have at least one school dance per season, but, uh, the show could only afford one dancer. Sorry. This week, sex is back! Never forget.
Sam - https://twitter.com/posistress
Jordan - https://twitter.com/BradypusRexPatreon - https://www.patreon.com/juergenit
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Hey, teens! Jordan is still in Japan but we've thought of a way to fill the gap he created by funny deleting his "Just Say Me" audio: we've fed the script of that Secret Life episode into Botnik Voicebox, an app that takes a text file and creates a predictive text keyboard, and with it we can create a script for a dramatic reading of what you all missed! Sam is joined by friends of the show Stephanie, Matt, and Argyle, and we're all going to learn about motorcycles. I mean, masturbation.
Sam (Ben, Grace, George, Jesse) https://twitter.com/posistress
Stephanie (Amy, Madison, Kathleen, Henry) https://windfallisland.tumblr.com/
Matt (Adrian, Alice, Jack, Dr. Bink, Jimmy) https://twitter.com/mattgcn
Argyle (Ashley, Ricky, Lauren, Joe, Anne, Donna) https://twitter.com/Argyle_FunkPatreon: https://patreon.com/juergenit
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We did it! Four episodes recorded and you get to hear all three of them! Aren't you glad? Finally, we're talking about S02E18, "Let's Try That Again". Our brains are slime and Sam was only half watching the episode, but that's okay. Probably just stop listening at the end of the episode when we start talking about Hitler. This week, everyone is hamboning. Thanks, Madison!
Sam - https://twitter.com/posistress
Jordan - https://twitter.com/BradypusRexPatreon - https://www.patreon.com/juergenit
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Welp. We really wanged it this time. S02E16, "Just Say Me"? More like S02E16, "Just Wasn't Meant to Be", because that episode is lost forever. We're here instead to talk about S02E17, "The Second Time Around"! A relatively tolerable episode, besides Ashley's new friend Grant and everything involving Jack and Ricky. This week, we've each got our own ideas on how Leo's driver sounds. You know, like comedy!
Sam - https://twitter.com/posistress
Jordan - https://twitter.com/BradypusRexPatreon - https://www.patreon.com/juergenit
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Folks, welcome to the Circlejuerg. Jordan is going to Japan soon so we're recording double the episodes until then so you don't have to miss a second of that sweet content. What this means, unfortunately, is that we are going to be getting more and more exhausted and miserable with each passing episode. So, in other words, business as usual! Anyway, let's talk about S02E15, "Loved & Lost". It was bad, despite something happening that we've been begging for since episode one. This week, Sam has a reference you're gonna love. '90s kids, unite!
Sam - https://twitter.com/posistress
Jordan - https://twitter.com/BradypusRexPatreon - https://www.patreon.com/juergenit
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Grab some pimento cheese and make some pimento cheese sandwiches! We're going on a pimento cheese picnic to discuss S02E14, "Til It's Gone", where we'll be saying the words "pimento cheese" a lot! Looks like breakups are on the horizon, and you have to wonder why the last episode was titled "You Don't Know What You Got..." and not this one. I guess they were referring to their potential for an episode title that would have made sense? This week, Sam issues the ultimate challenge. Sorry about the Alzheimer's jokes - it's Amy's fault!
Sam - https://twitter.com/posistress
Jordan - https://twitter.com/BradypusRexPatreon - https://www.patreon.com/juergenit
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