Episódios
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To kick off our second season, we are chatting with Suzanne Brown, a mom of 2 young boys, this week. Suzanne is a strategic marketing and business consultant, speaker (including a TEDx talk), avid international traveler, work-life balance expert and advocate, and author. Her books include: Mompowerment: Insights from Successful Professional Part-time Working Moms Who Balance Career and Family and The Mompowerment Guide to Work-life Balance. She empowers moms to think differently about their career approach and provides guidance on work-life balance through her own experience and research as well as stories, insights, and advice from more than 110 interviews with professional part-time working moms.
Listen as Suzanne shares how:
Her day is structured to allow for “me” time. She negotiated and moved to part-time in the corporate world after having her son prematurely. She maintains her boundaries and priorities to keep her work and life balanced. She worked towards finding who SHE was again after becoming a mom. She maintained who she was after she had her second child. Traveling has always been a part of her family life. Engaging with other moms energizes her. She gives her children space after school.Quotables:
“If I’m trying to do a checkbox every day, I would fail. But, if I look week or month, I’m doing great.” - Suzanne Brown
“Motherhood in general was kind of a shock to my system.” - Suzanne Brown
“We honestly thought we could just nicely tuck this child into this very active lifestyle.” - Suzanne Brown
“I literally woke up after a year of being a mom, looked in the mirror and thought “Where did I go?” - Suzanne Brown
“It’s really hard when your child is your greatest source of frustration.” - Suzanne Brown
“I feel like if someone said ‘it’s ok for everything not to be unicorns and rainbows all the time, that doesn’t make you a bad mom. It just means you are a human being and have to try something different.’” - Suzanne Brown
Links from Show:
Mompowerment: Insights from Successful Professional Part-time Working Moms Who Balance Career and Family by Suzanne Brown
Bad Moms Soundtrack
Hardcore 24by Janet Evanovich
The Mother's Guide to Self-Renewal: How to Reclaim, Rejuvenate and Re-Balance Your Life Paperback– by Renée Peterson Trudeau
EPISODE SPONSORS:
Crate Joy
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MORE FROM SUZANNE
Mompowerment Website
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Kate Turza, Postpartum Doula
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Mom...In The Works
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Kate & Liz open up about asking for help when they need it most. We talk about how hard it is TO ask for help, but also the benefit of opening ourselves up to the possibility of getting help.
Listen as we share how we have learned to be both on the receiving end and giving end of help.
Start asking for help from your partner & closest and intimate friends and family. Remember that boundaries on your time and energy are a good thing. Identify the difference between “need” and “want”. If you are on the receiving end of help, don’t let the guilt consume you. Soon enough, you will be the giver. Take it just ONE step at a time. This life stage doesn’t define you.Links mentioned in the episode:
Honest Discussion: How to keep an even keel. Struggling with Anxiety - Blog Post
Mindset Link
Sarah Argenal’s tips for setting boundaries - Episode 03
Five Languages of Love: Gary Chapman
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Kate & Liz talk about heading back to school after summer. We discuss the change back into full time school routine and how we are gearing OURSELVES up for it.
Listen as we share how we’ve managed heading back to school in the past, and what we are doing to prepare.
Keep it simple, don’t add things to your routine other than school starting. Schedule it (even if it’s only in your mind!). The great homework debacle - to do it right after school or after some playtime? Routines: do they help? Giving space for tired children at the end of each day for a couple weeks. Getting the kids involved in the the chores.Links mentioned in the episode:
Liza Tremblay’s and her calendars - Episode 09
Battling Summertime Boredom - Episode 13
Carrie Sharpe and motivating her children to help with chores - Episode 07
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Kate Turza, Postpartum Doula
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Mom...In The Works
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Kate & Liz talk mom friends this week. How do you find them? How do you make them? Do you even need them? This episode we share our vulnerabilities (and awkward pick up lines reserved for the playground) and insecurities when it comes to making the quintessential “mom friend.”
Listen as we share what has worked for us in connecting with other moms.
Mom friends are ACTUALLY important. Put yourself out there, we are ALL in the same situation navigating this. If you’re friends on social media - reach out IRL! Go outside your comfort zone and attend a class, lecture, or event to be around other moms with children your age. Make a list of topics (other than kids!) you are interested in to open up conversations at the latest class birthday party. Make time for nurturing your friendships with other moms.Links mentioned in the episode:
Matrescence: New York Times: Alexandra Sacks
Liza Tremblay: Put your Mascara on and drink a Redbull - Episode 09
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Mom...In The Works
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Kate & Liz slow things down this week and discuss how they keep family time in the forefront in this world of “busy is better”. It can be so hard to instill the value of family time when we are pulled in many directions, but we are *trying* to do it as much as we can.
Listen as we share how we are incorporating more family time in our busy lives.
Setting limits on what we commit to do both as families and individuals. Build in the downtime. How too many activities quickly catch up to us. Make home time count, break out the games! Vacations and Staycations are a great time to ditch the routines and just BE as a family.Links mentioned in the episode:
Episode 13: Battling Boredom
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Mom...In The Works
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Kate & Liz discuss a BIG topic this week, one that we are still actively navigating with our young children: How do you raise socially aware children in this crazy, opinionated world of ours? We discuss how we are trying to expose our children to diversity and adversity, and teaching them to embrace and celebrate it.
Listen as we share how we are *hoping* to raise kids that are socially aware:
Talk about differences with your kids, at whatever level they are at Teaching our children to reach out and engage with others that are “different” Why we feel uncomfortable when our kids point out the differences How we encourage our kids to explain to us why people are different Teaching our children that everyone has a story, and to celebrate that Practice what we preachLinks mentioned in the episode:
Longest Shortest Time: How not to raise a racist.
Wonder by R. J. Palacio
Episode 05 with Sasha Gray
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Mom...In The Works
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Kate & Liz discuss some struggles, triumphs, and insight into the burning question mom-question “Who am I?”. We discuss what it means to “find your identity” as as mom, how to find time for you when you are caring for others, and the importance of making space for you.
Listen as we share insight in how we’ve navigated finding (more of) our identity once we became moms.
Embrace the Matrescence period How your priorities and goals change in motherhood Finding pockets of time to find alone “non-mom” time Regain and build your identity slowly Motherhood as an unfoldingLinks mentioned in the episode:
Matrescence: New York Times: Alexandra Sacks
Like a Mother: A Feminist Journey Through the Science and Culture of Pregnancyby Angela Garbes
EP 13: How to Survive Summertime Boredom with Kids
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Mom...In The Works
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Listen as we share some tactics on how we battle summertime boredom:
Create a summer bucket list. Start a Bored Jar Boredom is a GOOD thingfor kids. Quiet time is encouraged in our houses. Giving ourselves permission to not be engaged ALL the time. How we balance “all the things” (hint: we don’t!)Links mentioned in the episode:
Psychologists recommend children be bored in the summer: Quartz.
Boredom Fosters Resilience in Children: Psychology Today.
The Dangers of Distracted Parenting: The Atlantic
Bowling Aloneby Robert Putnam
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Kate Turza, Postpartum Doula
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Mom...In The Works
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Kate Turza is a mom of 3 beautiful, loud (in all ways), and loving children, wife of one supportive husband, animal mama to two cats and one giant dog. She lives on the East End of Long Island near her families. She works part-time as an office manager and side-hustle as a postpartum doulaand podcast co-host. In her"free" time, you can usually find her outside on a bike ride or jog with at least one of her kiddos.
Listen as Kate shares how she:
Is seeing the “light” in her parenting journey. Struggles with meeting the needs of “all the things” Is constantly battling with mom guilt Hopes sharing stories on this podcast will help moms realize they aren’t alone Compares herself to other moms, despite knowing she shouldn’t. Lowered her expectations for her sanity.Quotables:
“Taking care of yourself doesn’t just happen, it’s a work in progress.” - Kate Turza
“What is up with mom guilt?” - Kate Turza
“My initial thought is usually ‘I’m failing’.” - Kate Turza
“I felt really alone for a long time.” - Kate Turza
“I wish parents were more up front about feeling out of control.” - Kate Turza
“You want to know the truth, I run them ragged.” - Kate Turza
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Mom...In The Works
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Liz Sanicola of Mom in the Worksand the Mom Deconstructed Podcastis a wife, mom to three (plus 8 chickens, a dog, and a cat), writer, tech junkie, homesteader, budding permaculturist (is that a thing?!) and craver of simplicity. She and her husband are often asked how they “do it all”, but the reality is… they DON’T! She’s doing her best to keep life simple amidst the chaos of modern life. In the age of technology and the never ending list of "all the things", it seems that people have never been so far apart. Her goal is to help bring some clarity and sanity to our lives and help relate the lessons we have learned so that others might find their own path to a healthier, more fulfilled life.
Listen as Liz shares how she:
Separates what she needs to do vs. what she wants to do. Struggles how to be “all the things.” Always feels like there is a stone somewhere unturned. Writing down daily and long term goals has helped her. Her and her husband’s relationship is different than the norm. Keeps the health and wellness of her family a priority. Strives to keep her life simple.Quotables:
“My whole life I had an abundance of patience, where did it go when I became a mom?” - Liz Sanicola
“Women’s personal expectations are to be a domestic goddess.” - Liz Sanicola
“I always feel like there is a stone unturned somewhere.” - Liz Sanicola
“What’s the point if we are just driving ourselves crazy all the time?” - Liz Sanicola
“It’s so insane to me that people will say anything on Facebook, but will NOT say anything to me at school pick up.” - Liz Sanicola
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Kate Turza, Postpartum Doula
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Mom...In The Works
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This week we are deconstructing the myth that becoming parents is an easy decision. We are revisiting our conversation from last week with Liza Tremblay. If you missed it, go back and download episode 9. As a refresher, Liza is a mom of two, a restaurateur and food entrepreneur. While building their businesses, they struggled with infertility, but since have built a family and business life unique to them.
Liz and Kate discuss:
How to keep ALL the calendars straight. Importance of going out with your partner & friends, even as an introvert. Breaking the routine can work for both you (and your kids!). How to support friends & family who are battling with infertility. Pregnancy is such an internal struggle. We ARE in the right place at the right time (at least, how we are TRYING to be present in the moment). Age appropriate chores and how everyone *can* contribute to the household.Resolve.org - How to support friends and family
Huffington Post - What not to say to someone trying to conceive.
New York Times: Age Appropriate Chores
MORE FROM LIZA
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Quotables:
“We have a standing Friday night date night, sometimes we just go in the backyard.” - Liz Sanicola
“You trap yourself into what you perceive as the easiest route to success.” - Liz Sanicola
“Sometimes you can’t always “fix” things, you just need to listen.” - Kate Turza
“We have an intrinsic desire to relate to one another, but why are we comparing?” - Liz Sanicola
“When you are IN the moment, that’s where the magic happens.” - Liz Sanicola
“When my brain isn’t actively engaged, I always start thinking about what needs to happen next.” - Kate Turza
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Kate Turza, Postpartum Doula
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Mom...In The Works
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Liza Tremblay is the mother of Leo and Rosie and the owner of Bay Burger restaurant and Joe & Liza's Ice Cream, based in Sag Harbor, New York. Her and her husband, Joe, have owned and operated Bayburger and Joe and Liza’s Ice Cream for the last 11 years. When Liza isn’t working full-time or mothering her two children, you can find her going out to her weekly date with her husband or out to dinner with her friends.
Listen as Liza shares how:
Even though she’s been a mom for seven years she’s still in the thick of it. She manages being a full-time business owner AND a mom. Important scheduling weekly date nights and girls nights are. She navigated a three year journey to get pregnant the first time, and two year journey the second. How she got off and took a breath from the infertility train. Her advice for moms who are trying to get pregnant. Her family rose to the occasion after her recent surgery.MORE FROM LIZA
Follow Joe & Liza’s Ice Cream on Instagram.
Follow Bayburger on Instagram.
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Kate Turza, Postpartum Doula
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Mom...In The Works
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Quotables:
“I never feel like I’m in the right place at the right time.” - Liza Tremblay
“Maybe you’re a little sleepy and hungover the next day, but it’s worth it.” - Liza Tremblay
“Drink a Redbull, put some mascara on and let’s do this.” - Liza Tremblay
“Like lightning in a bottle, they don’t know what’s going to work.” - Liza Tremblay
“Once you’re on the infertility train no one asks if you want to stop or talk about it.” - Liza Tremblay
“I knew I wanted to be a mom and I knew we were going to figure it out.” - Liza Tremblay
“Life with mommy out of commission managed to continue.” - Liza Tremblay
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This week we are deconstructing our conversation from last week with Carrie Sharpe. Here’s that episode. Carrie is a mom of 5, who is navigating “older” children as her first child prepares to leave the nest. Liz and Kate discuss:
Bonuses of having older children. How children can contribute to the household, using incentives! Carrie’s tips for keeping her relationship with her husband strong. Where you can find time for your relationship when you have young kids. Letting go of the guilt to go on date night. How partnership is work.Here’s more more about Carrie’s son (Maverick’s) birth & harrowing NICU journey.
Quotables:
“We all get stuck in a rut, we need to remember to re-evaluate.” - Kate
“It is in those times of crisis that brings challenges and strengths to the forefront.” - Liz
“It’s always a work in progress.” - Liz
“Marriage is portrayed as blissful all the time, and it’s NOT. There are really hard times you need to work through.” - Kate
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Kate Turza, Postpartum Doula
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Mom...In The Works
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Carrie Sharpe is a Communication Consultant and Speaker and co-owner of He says, She says. A highly sought-after international speaker, Carrie develops courses and coaches clients on public speaking skills, interview skills, and other communication topics. She earned her degree in Political Science and Psychology from Lake Superior State University. Carrie is a Huffington Post Contributor and has been quoted in a variety of publications including LiveStrong, Business Insider, and Bustle. She resides in northern Michigan with her husband, Ryan, and their five children.
Listen as Carrie shares how her mothering journey has evolved as her children have gotten older:
She’s preparing for her oldest to leave the nest. Days truly do go slow, but years fly by. She stays present and creates memories with her family. To keep your relationship strong after having children. Everyone contributes to completing household chores. She homeschooled all her children. To say “No” without guiltQuotables:
“Just because it works today, doesn’t mean you won’t be tweaking it tomorrow.” - Carrie Sharpe
“There are years of my life I don’t even remember.” - Carrie Sharpe
“When you’re in a crisis, you see the best and worst of each other. Any issues in the relationship are magnified during and after the event.” - Carrie Sharpe
“The older I get, the more inclined I am to say no to obligatory things.”- Carrie Sharpe
“Is this a necessity right now? Is this my priority or someone else’s?” - Carrie Sharpe
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Kate Turza, Postpartum Doula
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Mom...In The Works
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This week we are deconstructing our conversation from last week with Sasha Gray. Here’s that episode. Sasha is an older and wiser version of her first time mothering self, as she’s mothering the second time around.
Liz and Kate discuss:
the ups and downs of the myth that “Practice makes perfect” How not to view your shortcomings as “failures.” Having to remind ourselves we are enough. What’s best for everyone is relative. How to create productive members of society (PMOS). Life experiences and how they shape us. When we ACTUALLY have time to stop, think, and analyze.MORE FROM SASHA:
Follow Sasha on Facebook.
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Sasha’s Mini Group Sessions ~ 30 minute classes that give solutions and guidance that you can take action on immediately.
Sasha’s Glitter & Grace Club ~ a membership site that offers daily motivation and inspiration, along with a monthly zoom call and a birthday gift in the mail.
Sasha’s Mindset Switch Coaching
Quotables:
“It wasn’t a failure, it was what I had to do for survival.” - Kate Turza
“You have to treat yourself as you would treat your friends.” - Liz Sanicola
“PMOS Training: Become a Productive Member of Society.” - Sasha Gray
“It won’t look pretty, but it will get done.” - Liz Sanicola
“Life is full of stumbling blocks, you need to focus on things that matter.” - Liz Sanicola
“In 20 minutes I can go from loving it to a raging maniac.” - Liz Sanicola
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Kate Turza, Postpartum Doula
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Mom...In The Works
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Sasha Gray of Scattered Sashais a writer of words, spewer of sarcasm, and a margarita loving, sassy Southern belle raising her 11 year old granddaughter. Sasha believes life is tough for a lot of us, and we’re all just doing the best we can. But she also believes that kindness, laughing, and doing a little dance every now and then is sometimes the answer to everyday life. Sometimes we just need a margarita and some glitter to give us that extra push.
Sasha brings her unique brand of motivational humor to her Facebook home - Scattered Sasha- where her daily lives and weekly show make us laugh, and remind us that we are perfectly imperfect and that's just fine.
Sasha's mottos are: Make a difference. Build people up. Create Laughter. Spread a little love.....
And with a journey fraught with caffeine and chaos, and slapped together by pixie dust and tequila, Sasha knows a thing or two about differences, building people up, creating laughter and spreading a little love.
Listen as Sasha shares how:
She uses her wisdom as an “older” mom to make more intentional choices. She deals with second guessing her decisions and regret. Her granddaughter became her daughter. Social Media has changed her mothering journey. Her life experience (age?) allows her to set better boundaries and priorities. To deal with self-criticism (Take that picture!) Laughter has helped her cope. To raise a child in an atypical family. She chooses happiness.MORE FROM SASHA:
Follow Sasha on Facebook.
Follow Sasha on Instagram.
Follow Sasha on YouTube.
Follow Sasha on Pinterest.
Sasha’s Mini Group Sessions ~ 30 minute classes that give solutions and guidance that you can take action on immediately.
Sasha’s Glitter & Grace Club ~ a membership site that offers daily motivation and inspiration, along with a monthly zoom call and a birthday gift in the mail.
Sasha’s Mindset Switch Coaching
Quotables:
“My journey is fraught with caffeine and chaos, slapped together by pixie dust and tequila” - Sasha Gray
“I have no regrets, just fabulous experiences” - Sasha Gray
“If it causes drama or trauma, just say no” - Sasha Gray
“You have 1000 little boxes in your soul that are filled with all the good things people tell you. If you let 1 box fill with ugly, then it festers and grows, then there is no room for the good boxes of kindness and joy.” - Sasha Gray
“Fill your head and soul with positive” - Sasha Gray
“Can’t change how people act, but how we react” - Sasha Gray
“What is in my realm of possibility?” - Sasha Gray
“PMOS Training: How to make your child a Productive Member Of Society” - Sasha Gray
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Kate Turza, Postpartum Doula
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Mom...In The Works
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This week we are deconstructing our conversation from last week with Sarah Argenal. Here’s that episode. Sarah works in the fast-paced litigation field but set plans in motion when she began her family to transition into a work from home mom.
Liz and Kate discuss:
the ups and downs of the myth that “it all goes to plan” Where motherhood fits into our identities. Embracing shifting priorities. How routines help us get through the daily parenting tasks. Where to find time for ourselves & partners. What our self care looks like. Study that women do more housework than their partners.**Clarification & Updates: Sarah worked as a Litigation Support Analyst (not as a lawyer), we misspoke in the episode! As a recent update, she still continues to work in this field from home after the birth of her second child.**
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MORE FROM KATE:
Kate Turza, Postpartum Doula
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Mom...In The Works
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Quotables:
“It was a hard decision to stick with it.” - Kate Turza
“It’s so easy to lost track of priorities when you’re in the moment.” - Liz Sanicola
“It could be as simple as making eye contact and saying “I love you.” - Liz Sanicola
“Self care...think small.” - Kate Turza
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This week on the Mom Deconstructed Podcast we are talking with Sarah Argenal.
Sarah Argenal is the Founder of the Working Parent Resource and Host of the Working Parent Resource Podcast. She facilitates candid conversations, offers reliable resources and provides practical training to help professional moms and dads integrate all aspects of their lives without sacrificing one area over another. Sarah has her Master's degree in Marriage and Family Therapy and Adult Development and is a Certified Professional Coach with nearly 20 years of experience in counseling, coaching, college-level instruction, course development, and project management. You can find out more about Sarah and everything she offers atwww.WorkingParentResource.com, where you can find Sarah’s free online training for professional moms and dads to help them address the real reasons why they don't have enough time and suffer in survival mode. ""What's Behind Your Burnout: The 3 Biggest Burnout Triggers and How to Overcome Them".
Sarah shares her decision to leave her fast-paced career in litigation once she had a family and how she managed to find her sense of balance.
**Clarification & Updates: Sarah worked as a Litigation Support Analyst (not as a lawyer), we misspoke in the episode! As a recent update, she still continues to work in this field from home after the birth of her second child.**
Listen as Sarah shares how:
She made the decision to leave her career in litigation to be a work at home mom. She balances working and being a mom. She felt she “wasn’t good at being a mom.” The parenting “experts” don’t know your family situation. There is no “right” way to parent. She manages unpredictability of children with her Type A personality To maintain yourself after you have a baby. To keep top of mind what you priorities are RIGHT NOW. She institutes boundaries to preserve herself.MORE FROM SARAH:
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MORE FROM MOM DECONSTRUCTED:
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MORE FROM KATE:
Kate Turza, Postpartum Doula
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MORE FROM LIZ:
Simply Virtual
Mom...In The Works
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Quotables:
“I felt wasn’t very good at being a mom” - Sarah Argenal
“You need to learn to recalibrate moment to moment.” - Sarah Argenal
“You hear “you can’t have it all”, I didn’t like that.” - Sarah Argenal
“It’s not that I don’t have time, it’s that I don’t want to do it.” - Sarah Argenal
“I’ve got all these things I have to fit into my life, I need to choose what’s important RIGHT NOW.” - Sarah Argenal
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This week we are deconstructing our conversation from last week with Sara Topping. Here’s that episode. Sara is a *mostly* stay at home mom of 3 young boys on the East End of Long Island.
Liz and Kate discuss:
the ups and downs of the myth that the “Stay at Home Mom” as the ideal. How we take it breath by breath How storytelling plays a role in our lives (check out something scientific)
Reasons why we started this podcastLink:
Blog Post: What we fear most about our parenting journey
Support our podcast on Patreon.
Sign up for our newsletter here.
Follow Mom Deconstructed on Facebook.
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Please leave us a review or rating (or both!) on iTunes!
Quotables:
“The good breaths get better and last longer.” - Kate Turza
“As a parent, all you can do is your best.” - Liz Sanicola
“We are the hardest on ourselves.” - Kate Turza
“Storytelling makes us relatable.” - Liz Sanicola
“Despite being surrounded by people, motherhood is extremely isolating.” - Kate Turza
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Sara Topping is a mom who lives with her husband, three sons, five chickens and dog on the East End of Long Island, NY and keeps a mostly disordered household. She is a co-founder of a local non-profit organization called the East End Birth Network and works part time as a massage therapist which is her licensed profession. She likes to think progressively and makes her own motherhood rule book with torn out pages from other fabulous moms and is constantly editing it. She finds calm in crafts and is a closet crochet/quilter/needleworker and fan of the Voice. She is a minimalist traveler at heart and loves spicing up her life by moving furniture around.
Listen as Sara shares how:
Being a first time mom of twins differs from being a second time mom to a single baby. She felt the decision to stay home was made for her. She feels confident as a parent (and how fleeting that is). Our society/culture should be supporting new families. She balances being the primary disciplinarian and the “fun parent”. She keeps her mind stimulated when she’s home with her three boys. Deciding which child needs her attention in that moment makes her feel.Follow Sara on Instagram
Join our newsletter list.
Follow Mom Deconstructed on Facebook.
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Please leave us a review or rating (or both!) on iTunes!
If you enjoy listening, we'd love your help staying on the air. Support this podcast on Patreon.
Quotables:
“A lot of decisions were made for me.” - Sara Topping
“Take it one breath at a time”- Sara Topping
“I don’t like saying it gets easier, it gets different.” - Sara Topping
“I feel so limited, even just leaving the house.” - Sara Topping
“I’m going to shave my legs because that will make me feel better about myself.” - Sara Topping
“You feel like you’re trudging through quicksand and being pulled in every direction.” - Sara Topping
