Episódios
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"I use the language of supply and demand because this is a market-based system and it's uncomfortable for a lot of people, right? Because you're talking about a supply and demand of human beings." -- Gretchen Sisson
Read the transcript here: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01JESZ6VPKJMRTMRHX6ZMBHDB7
EPISODE SUMMARY:
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Gretchen Sisson, the author of the acclaimed book Relinquished: The Politics of Adoption and the Privilege of American Motherhood. Gretchen's work stems from a decade-long qualitative sociological study that delves into the experiences of relinquishing mothers and critiques the American adoption system.
We discussed her journey into this research, which began while she was working with pregnant and parenting young people in Boston. Gretchen highlighted the stigmatization of young motherhood and the disconnect between societal narratives and the lived experiences of these women. Her research emphasizes the complexities of adoption, particularly how it intersects with issues of reproductive health and justice.
Gretchen shared insights from her book, revealing that the majority of women who are denied access to abortion end up parenting their children, with only a small percentage choosing adoption. This led to a discussion about the implications of the recent Dobbs decision and its potential impact on adoption rates, as well as the troubling commodification of children within the adoption system.
Throughout our conversation, we explored the reactions to her book from both the adoption community and the broader public. While many adoptees have resonated with her work, some adoptive parents have expressed defensiveness. We emphasized the importance of listening to adoptees and understanding the systemic issues surrounding adoption.
Gretchen also touched on the need for better support systems for both adoptive parents and adoptees, advocating for a more nuanced understanding of family structures and the complexities of parenting. We concluded with a call to action for listeners to engage with the voices of adoptees and to consider the broader implications of adoption in our society.
I encourage everyone to check out Gretchen's book, available in various formats, and to connect with her on social media. Thank you for joining us in this important conversation about adoption and its many layers.
===============
📘Get our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL
📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Gretchen’s information:
Pick up Gretchen’s amazing book Relinquished: https://www.amazon.com/Relinquished-Politics-Adoption-Privilege-Motherhood/dp/1250286778
Find Gretchen on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gretchen.sisson/
Other book mentioned in this episode:
The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier: https://www.amazon.com/Primal-Wound-Understanding-Adopted-Child/dp/0963648004
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to [email protected]
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Please rate (*****) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!
===============
TIME STAMPS:
00:00:00 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption
00:00:44 - Introducing Gretchen Sisson
00:01:41 - Gretchen's Research Journey
00:02:53 - Understanding Sociology
00:04:10 - Qualitative vs. Quantitative Research
00:05:36 - Impactful Stories in Adoption
00:06:40 - Response to Gretchen's Book
00:07:53 - Abortion and Adoption Dynamics
00:09:03 - Post-Dobbs Adoption Trends
00:10:55 - The Supply and Demand of Adoption
00:12:49 - Financial Aspects of Adoption
00:13:28 - Redirecting Adoption Funds
00:14:55 - Birth Mothers' Financial Needs
00:16:15 - Adoptee Perspectives on Adoption
00:17:37 - Adoptive Parents' Reactions
00:19:53 - Complexities of Adoption
00:22:06 - Supporting Adoptive Families
00:23:39 - Infertility and Adoption
00:25:23 - Broader Perspectives on Parenthood
00:27:39 - Listening to Adoptees
00:29:35 - Final Thoughts and Takeaways
00:31:09 - Where to Find Gretchen's Work
00:31:49 - Upcoming Events from Unraveling Adoption
00:33:05 - Closing Remarks -
"I...sometimes I forget that I'm Asian unless I see myself in a mirror." -- Nathan Nowack
Read the Transcript: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01JEAFSD4KFY07AFGENGAPDN7A
EPISODE SUMMARY:
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Nathan Nowack, a Korean adoptee, professional photographer, and co-host of The Janchi Show. Nathan shared his adoption story, having been adopted from Korea at just five and a half months old and raised in a predominantly white community in Oklahoma. He reflected on his childhood, noting the lack of cultural representation and the challenges of navigating his Asian identity in a world that often sees him as different.
We discussed the complexities of transracial adoption, including the impact of his parents' approach to race and culture. Nathan emphasized the importance of understanding and acknowledging one's racial identity, especially in a society that often overlooks these nuances. He shared his experiences with microaggressions and the emotional toll they can take on adoptees, highlighting the need for greater awareness and sensitivity.
Nathan also spoke about his involvement with KAAN (Korean American Adoptee Adoptive Family Network) and how connecting with other adoptees has been instrumental in his healing journey. He described the sense of community he found there and the importance of sharing diverse adoption stories, acknowledging that each experience is unique.
As a father of three multiple-ethnicity children, Nathan is committed to helping them understand their cultural heritage. He shared how he incorporates Asian traditions and celebrations into their lives, ensuring they have a strong sense of identity.
This conversation was rich with insights into the complexities of adoption, identity, and community. I hope listeners find Nathan's story as inspiring and enlightening as I did. Be sure to check out The Janchi Show and connect with Nathan on Instagram for more of his journey and perspectives. Thank you for joining us, and I look forward to our next episode!
===============
📘Get our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL
📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Nathan’s information:
Find Nathan on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nnowack/
Check out Nathan’s Podcast: www.janchishow.com and https://www.instagram.com/janchishow/
Find out more about KAAN: www.wearekaan.org and https://www.instagram.com/wearekaan/
===============
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to [email protected]
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Please rate (*****) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!
===============
TIME STAMPS:
00:00:00 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption
Welcome to the podcast and introduction of host Beth Syverson and guest Nathan Nowack.00:01:26 - Nathan's Adoption Story
Nathan shares his background as a Korean adoptee raised in a predominantly white environment.00:02:50 - Cultural Representation in Upbringing
Discussion on the lack of Asian cultural representation in Nathan's childhood.00:03:50 - Transracial Adoption and Parental Awareness
Nathan reflects on his adoptive parents' understanding of transracial adoption.00:05:32 - The Melting Pot Mentality
Exploration of the "colorblind" approach to race and its implications for Nathan.00:06:52 - Microaggressions and Identity
Nathan discusses experiences with microaggressions and their impact on his identity.00:08:38 - Community and Connection
The importance of finding community among other adoptees for support and understanding.00:09:18 - Involvement with KAAN
Nathan explains his role in the Korean American Adoptee Adoptive Family Network (KAAN).00:10:56 - Upcoming KAAN Conference
Details about the next KAAN conference and its themes.00:11:41 - Healing Through Shared Stories
How connecting with other adoptees aids in Nathan's healing journey.00:12:30 - The Complexity of Adoption Stories
Discussion on the varied experiences of adoptees and the ongoing nature of loss.00:13:44 - Reunion with Biological Family
Nathan shares his experience of reuniting with his biological siblings.00:15:17 - Communication Challenges with Siblings
The difficulties of connecting with his siblings due to language barriers.00:16:37 - Sibling Trauma and Adoption
Exploration of the trauma experienced by Nathan's siblings regarding his adoption.00:17:45 - Parenting Mixed-Race Children
Nathan discusses raising his children with awareness of their diverse heritage.00:19:15 - Cultural Education for Children
How Nathan incorporates Asian culture and representation into his children's lives.00:20:37 - Food and Cultural Connection
Nathan's love for food and how it connects him to his heritage and family.00:21:50 - Living Through His Children
Reflections on how Nathan experiences his own identity through his children's upbringing.00:22:45 - Closing Thoughts and Resources
Nathan expresses gratitude for the opportunity to share his story and offers ways to connect. -
Estão a faltar episódios?
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"I think now that we have this knowledge, then we can use our story to help create awareness." - Lori Evans Ermi
Read the transcript here: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01JDRMT4Z5RGJ6SD35WBFBT4PM
EPISODE SUMMARY:
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of welcoming Lori Evans Ermi and her 17-year-old daughter, Kate Ermi, both of whom are adoptees and co-wrote their new book, Adoption Songs. Our conversation delved into the complexities of adoption from their unique perspectives, highlighting the emotional layers that come with their experiences.
Lori shared her journey as a domestic adoptee from the baby scoop era, detailing her late discovery of her adoption at the age of eight and the trust issues that arose from that revelation. Despite having loving adoptive parents, she faced challenges in her identity and connection to her biological roots. Kate, on the other hand, has always known she was adopted and has navigated her own path of understanding her heritage, which was further illuminated through DNA testing.
We discussed the creation of Adoption Songs, where each chapter is framed as a track, with contributors choosing songs that resonate with their adoption stories. The book aims to provide a broad perspective on adoption, acknowledging both the joys and the inherent losses that come with it. Lori emphasized the importance of music as a healing tool, and Kate shared her lifelong passion for music, which has been a source of comfort for her.
Throughout our conversation, we touched on the significance of community and shared experiences among adoptees, as well as the need for more resources and support for young adults in the adoption community. Lori and Kate's commitment to raising awareness and fostering understanding about adoption's complexities is truly inspiring.
I encourage listeners to check out their book and visit their website, adoptionsongs.org, for more information and resources. Additionally, I shared details about an upcoming event, Adoption Healing Quest, which will take place in February 2025, aimed at exploring various healing modalities within the adoption community.
Thank you for joining us in this important conversation, and I hope you find the insights shared by Lori and Kate as enlightening as I did.
===============
📘Get our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL
📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Lori and Kate’s information:
Find their website with info about their book Adoption Songs: https://www.adoptionsongs.org/
Other resource mentioned in this episode:
The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier: https://www.amazon.com/Primal-Wound-Understanding-Adopted-Child/dp/0963648004
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to [email protected]
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Please rate (*****) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!
===============
TIME STAMPS
00:00:00 - Welcome to Unraveling Adoption
Introduction to the podcast and hosts, Beth, Lori, and Kate.00:01:10 - Adoptee Stories: Lori's Journey
Lori shares her adoption story, including her experiences and feelings about being adopted.00:04:47 - Adoptee Stories: Kate's Journey
Kate discusses her adoption experience and her understanding of her identity.00:06:45 - The Complexity of Adoption
Discussion on the layers of adoption and the importance of understanding different perspectives.00:07:33 - Creating Adoption Songs
Exploration of the book "Adoption Songs" and the involvement of both Lori and Kate in its creation.00:10:43 - The Primal Wound Concept
Introduction to the concept of The Primal Wound and its significance in adoption narratives.00:11:45 - Future Plans for Adoption Songs
Plans for a sequel to the book and the inclusion of more diverse perspectives.00:12:38 - The Role of Music in Healing
Discussion on how music plays a significant role in the lives of Lori and Kate.00:14:40 - Untangling Our Roots Experience
Kate shares her experience at the Untangling Our Roots event and the impact of hearing others' stories.00:18:03 - Navigating Complex Emotions
Lori and Kate discuss the complexities of their relationship and the duality of love and loss in adoption.00:21:29 - Mainstream Adoption Narratives
The importance of presenting adoption stories in a way that is accessible and relatable to a broader audience.00:22:30 - Finding Resources and Support
Information on where to find the book and additional resources related to adoption.00:23:26 - Upcoming Events and Closing Thoughts
Announcement of future events and a closing message of gratitude to listeners. -
"I almost feel like there was a blueprint, and I was a character to fit into that blueprint." -- Tim Perdion
Episode Summary:In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the opportunity to speak with Tim Perdion, an adoptee from Ohio who has spent the last decade navigating his journey of self-discovery and healing. Tim shares his experience of being adopted shortly after birth and the feelings of not belonging that plagued him throughout his childhood. Despite growing up in a loving family, he struggled with anger and a sense of isolation, which led him to seek validation through sports and relationships.
As a teenager, Tim turned to substances to cope with his internal struggles, leading to a reputation for overindulgence in high school. After facing personal crises in adulthood, including two divorces, he sought help at a trauma and addiction clinic, where he began to confront the deeper issues related to his adoption. Tim highlights the lack of focus on adoption-related trauma in traditional recovery settings and emphasizes the importance of vulnerability and community for male adoptees.
He introduces the concept of the "orphaned heart," describing the emotional barriers adoptees build to protect themselves from feelings of abandonment and rejection. Tim encourages younger male adoptees to explore their inner worlds and seek support, reminding them that they are not alone in their struggles.
This episode is a heartfelt exploration of the complexities of adoption, the significance of community, and the power of vulnerability. I hope Tim's story resonates with many and inspires others to seek understanding and connection in their own journeys.
===============
📘Get our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL
📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Tim’s information:
Email Tim at [email protected]
Tim’s Website: http://prodigalpathways.com/
Find Tim on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/timperdion/
Find Tim on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/tperdion
Find Tim on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timperdion/
Books mentioned in the episode:
The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier: https://www.amazon.com/Primal-Wound-Understanding-Adopted-Child/dp/0963648004
Healing the Orphaned Heart: Renewal for the Misunderstood, the Abused, and Abandoned by Casey Treat: https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Orphaned-Heart-Misunderstood-Abandoned/dp/1577944518
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to [email protected]
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Please rate (*****) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!
===============
TIME STAMPS
00:00:00 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption
00:01:24 - Tim's Childhood and Adoption Experience
00:03:47 - Struggles with Identity and Belonging
00:06:26 - The Impact of Family Dynamics
00:08:56 - Substance Use and Coping Mechanisms
00:10:51 - Seeking Help and Treatment
00:12:08 - Understanding Adoption Trauma
00:14:20 - The Journey of Self-Discovery
00:16:02 - Finding Community and Connection
00:19:05 - The Importance of Sharing Stories
00:20:17 - Challenges for Male Adoptees
00:22:05 - The Role of Forgiveness in Healing
00:24:46 - Learning to Ask for Help
00:27:04 - Advice for Younger Male Adoptees
00:29:44 - Resources and Community Support
00:30:57 - Conclusion and Call to Action -
"The plants are always turning everything upside down because our culture is upside down." -- Mee Ok Icaro
EPISODE SUMMARY:
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I, Beth Syverson, welcome back Mee Ok Icaro, a previous guest who has shared her profound insights on adoption and healing through plant medicine. This episode is particularly special as we recorded as we prepared for an ayahuasca retreat in Costa Rica, where I participated in my first ceremony under Mee Ok’s guidance.
We begin by discussing our feelings as the retreat approaches. I express my excitement mixed with a hint of fear, acknowledging that this experience is far outside my comfort zone. Mee Ok shares her own anticipation and the unique challenges of leading a retreat for the first time, emphasizing the importance of focusing on personal healing rather than taking on the burdens of others.
Mee Ok elaborates on the concept of leadership in the context of plant medicine, contrasting it with traditional views. She explains that true leadership often involves humility and a willingness to learn from others, rather than a desire for power or control. This perspective shifts the narrative around what it means to guide others in their healing journeys.
As we delve deeper into the preparations for the retreat, we discuss the rigorous dieta we have both been following. This dieta involves strict dietary and behavioral restrictions designed to prepare our bodies and minds for the transformative experience ahead. I share my struggles with giving up my phone and certain foods items and the impact of reducing external stimuli on my mental clarity and emotional well-being.
Mee Ok and I also touch on the broader implications of accessibility to plant medicine, particularly for marginalized communities. We discuss the challenges faced by individuals from lower-income backgrounds in accessing these healing modalities and the need for a more equitable approach as psychedelics become more mainstream.
Throughout the episode, we reflect on the importance of integration and preparation in the healing process. I share my personal journey with ketamine treatment and how it has helped me move away from antidepressants, highlighting the significance of active engagement in one's healing journey rather than passively relying on substances.
As we conclude, we express our excitement for the upcoming retreat and the potential for profound transformation. We plan to record a follow-up episode after the retreat to share our experiences and insights gained during this journey.
Join us as we explore the complexities of adoption, healing, and the transformative power of plant medicine in this thought-provoking episode.
===============
📘Get our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL
📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Mee Ok’s information:
Connect with Mee Ok through her website: https://holdingcompassionate.space/
Hear Mee Ok’s previous Unraveling Adoption podcast episode, “Ayahuasca for Transforming Trauma and Pain with Mee Ok Icaro”: https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/id/28697873
Hear Mee Ok and Leslie Pate Mackinnon’s previous Unraveling Adoption podcast episode ”Insights from Plant Medicine for the Adoption Constellation with Mee Ok Icaro and Leslie Pate Mackinnon”: https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/id/31869557
Register for Mee Ok’s next Adoptee-Only Medicine Circle here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/medicine-circles-for-adoptees-with-mee-ok-icaro-tickets-1011041370957
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
Soltara Healing Center (Costa Rica): https://soltara.co/\
Other Resources:
Other Parents Like Me - http://oplm.com
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to [email protected]
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Please rate (*****) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!
===============
TIME STAMPS
00:00:00 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption
Welcome to the podcast and introduction of hosts Beth Syverson and Mee Ok Icaro.00:02:00 - Preparing for Ayahuasca Retreat
Discussion about the upcoming ayahuasca retreat in Costa Rica and the preparation process.00:03:30 - Emotional Readiness and Expectations
Beth and Mee Ok share their feelings of excitement and fear as they approach the retreat.00:05:30 - Redefining Leadership in Healing Spaces
Mee Ok discusses her perspective on leadership and the importance of humility in guiding others.00:09:00 - The Role of Ego in Leadership
Exploration of how ego affects leadership and the qualities of a good leader.00:12:00 - Accountability in Healing Environments
Mee Ok emphasizes the need for accountability and trust in the retreat setting.00:15:00 - The Importance of Preparation and Integration
Discussion on the significance of preparation and integration in the healing process.00:20:00 - Challenges of Accessibility in Psychedelic Healing
Conversation about the barriers to accessing psychedelic treatments for various demographics.00:23:00 - Personal Healing Journeys
Beth shares her experiences with ketamine treatment and the importance of integration.00:27:00 - The Process of the Dieta
Mee Ok explains the dieta, its restrictions, and its role in preparing for the ayahuasca experience.00:32:00 - Transformative Effects of Disconnecting
Beth discusses the impact of reducing phone and media usage during the dieta.00:35:00 - Commitment to Healing Work
Mee Ok talks about the commitment required for serious healing and the importance of discipline.00:40:00 - The Role of Tobacco in Healing
Mee Ok shares her personal journey with tobacco and its significance in the healing process.00:45:00 - Building Relationships with Plants and Healers
Discussion on the importance of relationships with plants and healers in the dieta process.00:49:00 - Conclusion and Future Intentions
Wrap-up of the conversation and reflections on the journey ahead. -
Finding Empowerment through Sex Work as a Korean Adoptee with Kayla Tange
"I can be in my body, and in that moment, I feel safe." -- Kayla Tange
EPISODE SUMMARY:
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Kayla Tange, a Korean adoptee raised by Japanese-American parents. She has navigated a unique and complex journey through life as an exotic dancer, performance artist, and sex worker. Kayla shared her adoption story, detailing her early life in an orphanage in Seoul before being adopted at six months old.
We explored how her experiences with ADHD and autism influenced her career choices and her desire for connection. Kayla candidly discussed her entry into the world of sex work, revealing how it provided her with a sense of empowerment and control over her body—something she felt was taken from her during her adoption.
Throughout our conversation, we touched on the themes of identity, belonging, and the emotional complexities that come with being an adoptee. Kayla's reflections on her work and the connections she forms with clients highlighted the often misunderstood aspects of sex work, challenging stereotypes and emphasizing the agency she feels in her choices.
Kayla also read a powerful piece from her contribution to the anthology Whorephobia, which delves into her experiences and emotions surrounding her adoption and her work. Her insights offered a profound understanding of the intersections between adoption, identity, and the search for belonging.
This episode is a deep dive into the complexities of adoption and the ways in which individuals navigate their identities and experiences. I encourage listeners to reflect on Kayla's story and the broader implications it has for understanding adoption and the diverse paths that adoptees may take.
===============
📘Get our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL
📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Kayla’s information:
Email Kayla: [email protected]
Check out Kayla’s Website: kaylatange.com
Follow Kayla on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kayla.tange/
Watch Kayla’s amazing short film Dear Mother: https://www.kaylatange.com/dear-mother
Here’s the anthology, Whorephobia, that includes Kayla’s essay that she read on this episode: https://www.amazon.com/Whorephobia-Strippers-Art-Work-Life/dp/1644212277
Other Resources:
APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: http://UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
Other Parents Like Me - http://oplm.com
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to [email protected]
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Please rate (*****) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!
===============
TIME STAMPS
00:00:00 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption
Welcome to the podcast and introduction of host Beth Syverson and her son Joey.00:00:34 - Today's Topic: Sexuality and Sex Work
Discussion on the focus of the episode regarding sexuality and sex work.00:00:56 - Introducing Kayla Tange
Introduction of guest Kayla Tange, her background as a Korean adoptee, and her work in the sex industry.00:01:52 - Kayla's Adoption Story
Kayla shares her adoption story, including her age at adoption and her upbringing.00:02:32 - Early Interest in Performance
Discussion on Kayla's early interest in dance and performance.00:03:20 - Career Path and ADHD Diagnosis
Kayla talks about her career journey and the impact of her ADHD and autism diagnosis.00:04:49 - Transition to Sex Work
Kayla explains how she transitioned into sex work and dancing.00:05:59 - Job Satisfaction and Flexibility
Discussion on the benefits of working as a dancer compared to retail jobs.00:06:33 - ADHD and the Nature of the Job
Exploration of how the job suited Kayla's ADHD tendencies.00:08:06 - Connecting with Customers
Kayla discusses the importance of connecting with customers and building relationships.00:09:06 - Adoption Trauma and Connection
Exploration of the link between adoption trauma and Kayla's need for connection.00:10:25 - Empowerment through Sex Work
Kayla shares her perspective on feeling empowered through her work.00:12:17 - Commodification of Bodies
Discussion on the commodification of bodies in adoption and sex work.00:13:24 - Feelings of Displacement
Kayla reflects on feelings of displacement related to her adoption.00:14:01 - Experiences in Korea
Kayla shares her experiences and feelings during her trips to Korea.00:15:11 - Creating the Film "Dear Mother"
Discussion on the process and impact of creating her film.00:16:28 - The Power of Performance
Kayla talks about the liberating aspects of performing.00:17:56 - Family Dynamics and Support
Kayla reflects on her adoptive family's support and concerns regarding her career.00:19:13 - Community and Support in the Industry
Discussion on the supportive community within the sex work industry.00:20:12 - Advice to Her Younger Self
Kayla shares what she would tell her 12-year-old self.00:21:45 - Advice for Parents
Kayla offers advice to parents about supporting their children's interests.00:23:49 - Reading from Whorephobia
Kayla reads a powerful piece from the anthology Whorephobia.00:37:04 - Closing Thoughts and Future Plans
Discussion on Kayla's ongoing work and future plans, along with closing remarks from Beth. -
"I thought I'll go to the embassy and I'll clear this up. Yeah, that I was adopted legally and I was US citizen." -- Mike Davis
READ THE TRANSCRIPT HERE: https://app.swellai.com/t/tp_01JB3BV6BMN0QQD1M7BWPZEVPK
EPISODE SUMMARY:
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Mike Davis, an intercountry adoptee whose story sheds light on the often-overlooked complexities of adoption, particularly regarding citizenship issues. Mike was adopted from Ethiopia at the age of eight by an African-American single father and grew up in the U.S. However, in the mid-1990s, he discovered that he was not a U.S. citizen, despite his father's efforts to complete the necessary adoption paperwork.In 2005, Mike was deported to Ethiopia, a country he barely remembered, where he faced immense challenges, including language barriers and a lack of support. He shared the harrowing details of his deportation, including being dropped off at the airport with only the clothes on his back and a small amount of money. Mike's story is a stark reminder of the potential pitfalls in the inter-country adoption process and the devastating impact it can have on families.
Throughout our conversation, Mike emphasized the ongoing struggles he faces, including the inability to access benefits he contributed to while working in the U.S. and the emotional toll on his family, including his wife and children, who have also suffered due to his deportation.
We were also joined by Maureen McCauley, an adoptive parent and advocate for Mike, who has been instrumental in raising awareness about his situation and has created a GoFundMe to assist with his legal and medical expenses. Together, we discussed the broader implications of Mike's story, including the urgent need for legislative change to protect the rights of all adoptees, particularly those who are at risk of deportation.
This episode serves as a call to action for listeners to educate themselves about the complexities of adoption and to advocate for the rights of adoptees. We encourage all Americans to support the Adoptee Citizenship Act and to reach out to their Congressional representatives to help ensure that no adoptee has to endure the hardships that Mike has faced. Thank you for joining us in this important conversation.
===============
📘Get our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL
📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Donate to Mike’s GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-mike-davis-abebe-hailu-come-home-to-the-us Read the book that Maureen edited and that includes Mike's essay, Lions Roaring Far From Home: An Anthology by Ethiopian Adoptees: https://www.amazon.com/Lions-Roaring-Far-Home-Anthology/dp/B0BNTXTHRG Check out Maureen's blog, Light of Day Stories: https://lightofdaystories.com/Other resources mentioned in this episode:
Adoptees for Justice: https://www.adopteesforjustice.org/
Adoptees United: https://adopteesunited.org/
Adoptee Citizenship Act:
https://www.congress.gov/bill/118th-congress/senate-bill/4448
https://adopteerightslaw.com/congress-introduces-the-adoptee-citizenship-act-of-2024/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to [email protected]
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Please rate (*****) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!
===============
TIME STAMPS:
00:00:00 - Welcome to Unraveling Adoption
Introduction of host Beth Syverson and her mission.00:01:00 - Complexities of Adoption
Overview of today's focus on inter-country adoption issues.00:02:00 - Meet Mike Davis
Introduction of guest Mike Davis and his background.00:03:40 - Deportation Experience
Mike recounts his deportation to Ethiopia.00:05:30 - First Days in Ethiopia
Mike's initial struggles upon arrival in Ethiopia.00:07:00 - Citizenship Realization
Discovery that Mike was not a U.S. citizen.00:09:00 - Adoption Paperwork Issues
Discussion on the confusion surrounding Mike's adoption documents.00:10:30 - Legal Challenges
Mike shares his legal battles to prove citizenship.00:12:00 - Family Impact
The emotional toll on Mike's family due to his deportation.00:14:00 - Criminal Charge Consequences
Mike discusses the events leading to his criminal charge.00:16:30 - Legal Representation Struggles
Challenges in finding effective legal help.00:18:00 - Support from Maureen
Introduction of Maureen and her advocacy for Mike.00:20:00 - Adoptee Citizenship Act
Explanation of the legislative efforts for adoptee citizenship.00:22:00 - Broader Adoptee Issues
Impact on other adoptees facing similar challenges.00:24:00 - Call to Action
Encouragement for listeners to support the cause.00:26:00 - Final Thoughts from Mike
Mike's reflections on the injustices faced by adoptees.00:32:00 - Conclusion and Resources
Wrap-up and information on how to get involved. -
"I can read a book and tell you if it's written by an adoptee, written by an adoptive parent or written by somebody who's just a famous author and someone told him to write about adoption and they know nothing about it." -- Allison Olson
EPISODE SUMMARY:
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Allison Olson, an adoptee and adoptive parent who has made significant contributions to children's literature on adoption. We explored her personal adoption story, which began in 1979 when she was adopted as a baby in a closed adoption, and how her experiences shaped her perspective as both an adoptee and a parent to an adopted child.
Allison shared her insights on the evolution of adoption practices, particularly the shift from closed to open adoptions, and the importance of representation in children's books. She expressed her frustration with the common narratives found in many adoption-themed picture books, which often portray adoptees as "lucky" rather than "loved." This inspired her to write her own books, including Surrounded by Love: An Open Adoption Story and Learning About My Friend's Adoption, aimed at educating children about adoption in a balanced and loving way.
We discussed the challenges adoptees face in educating their peers about their experiences and the need for more resources that accurately reflect the complexities of adoption. Allison emphasized the importance of normalizing conversations about adoption and providing children with the tools to understand and embrace their identities.
Listeners will find Allison's work invaluable, as it not only addresses the needs of adopted children but also serves as a resource for their friends and families. I encourage everyone to check out her books and share this episode to help spread awareness about the importance of thoughtful representation in children's literature.
===============
📘Get our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL
📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Allison’s information:
Check out Allison’s website for her own books plus her lists of children’s books: OurAdoptionBooks.com
Find Allison’s books on Amazon:
Surrounded by Love: An Open Adoption Story on Amazon
Learning about My Friend's Adoption on Amazon
Allison’s book lists:
“An Adoptee’s Top 14 Children’s Adoption Books”: https://www.ouradoptionbooks.com/blogs/adoptee-top-kids-book-picks
“Children’s Adoption Books Written by Adoptees”: https://www.ouradoptionbooks.com/blogs/adoptee-written-kids-book
Find Allison on Social Media:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kidsbooksbyallisonolson/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KidsBooksbyAllisonOlson
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@kidsbooksbyallisonolson
Other Resources:
Other Parents Like Me - http://oplm.com
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to [email protected]
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Please rate (*****) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!
===============
TIME STAMPS:
00:00:00 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption
Welcome to the podcast and introduction of host Beth Syverson and guest Allison Olson.00:01:00 - Allison's Adoption Story
Allison shares her personal adoption journey and her experiences as both an adoptee and an adoptive parent.00:03:00 - Closed vs. Open Adoption
Discussion on the differences between closed and open adoptions, including definitions and implications.00:07:00 - The Impact of Openness in Adoption
Allison reflects on the benefits of open adoption and her experiences with her daughter's adoption.00:10:00 - Challenges in Children's Adoption Books
Allison discusses her experiences with children's picture books about adoption and the messages they convey.00:14:00 - The Need for Balanced Representation
Exploration of the importance of balanced narratives in adoption literature, highlighting both love and struggle.00:17:00 - Creating Surrounded by Love
Allison explains her motivation for writing her first book and the intentional choices made in its creation.00:20:00 - Learning About My Friend's Adoption
Introduction to Allison's second book aimed at educating non-adopted children about adoption.00:24:00 - The Responsibility of Educating Others
Discussion on the burden adoptees face in educating their peers and the importance of literature in this process.00:28:00 - Resources and Closing Thoughts
Allison shares her website and resources for finding adoption-related books. -
“I'm telling all the skeptics who may be listening, just go in there with an open mind because you're not going to lose anything. You have so much more to gain.” - Jonathan Moon
EPISODE SUMMARY:
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the privilege of speaking with Jonathan Moon, an adopted person who has navigated the complexities of relinquishment and adoption trauma. Jonathan's journey began in Korea, where he faced significant challenges as a child, including living on the streets and experiencing significant instability. He was adopted to the U.S. at the age of nine and has recently embarked on a path of healing and self-discovery.
Jonathan shared his unique story, including his reunion with his grandmother through a Korean TV show and the emotional complexities surrounding his birth family. He discussed the struggles he faced growing up, including the impact of his father's alcoholism and abuse, and how these experiences shaped his identity.
Throughout our conversation, Jonathan emphasized the importance of community and connection among adoptees, highlighting how sharing similar experiences can foster understanding and healing. He also opened up about his journey toward healing, which has included acting classes, therapy, and alternative healing practices like myofascial release and ketamine therapy.
Jonathan's story is a testament to resilience and the ongoing process of healing from trauma. He is currently working on an artistic film titled Voice of Waters, which aims to share his experiences and insights with a broader audience. I encourage listeners to check out his website and support his work.
===============
📘Get our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL
📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Jonathan’s information:
Find out about Jonathan's upcoming film, Voice of Waters, and sign up for his website here: https://www.voiceofwatersfilm.com/Other Resource Mentioned in the episode:
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk M.D.: https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748 Miofascial release: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myofascial_release Ketamine therapy: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/KetamineOther Resources:
APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: http://UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
Other Parents Like Me - http://oplm.com
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to [email protected]
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Please rate (*****) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!
===============
TIME STAMPS:
00:00:00 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption
Welcome to the podcast and introduction of host Beth Syverson and guest Jonathan Moon.00:01:14 - Meeting at Untangling Our Roots
Discussion about the adoption conference where Beth and Jonathan met.00:02:51 - Jonathan's Early Life
Jonathan shares his background, including his birth parents and early memories.00:05:48 - Life with His Grandmother
Description of Jonathan's childhood living with his maternal grandmother.00:08:00 - Transition to Living with His Father
Jonathan recounts the move to live with his birth father and half-brothers.00:09:20 - Challenges at His Father's Home
Jonathan discusses the difficulties he faced living with his father and brothers.00:12:52 - Living on the Streets
Jonathan shares his experiences of running away and living on the streets.00:15:04 - Adoption Process
Jonathan describes how he was adopted to the U.S. and his initial thoughts.00:18:34 - First Days in America
Jonathan reflects on his arrival in the U.S. and the adjustment to his new life.00:20:34 - Family Dynamics
Discussion about Jonathan's adoptive family and his place within it.00:22:05 - Struggles with Trauma
Jonathan opens up about the impact of his past traumas on his life.00:23:24 - Military Experience
Jonathan talks about his time in the military and coping mechanisms.00:24:18 - Reunion with Birth Family
Jonathan shares the story of his reunion with his grandmother and birth mother.00:27:33 - Confronting His Birth Father
Discussion about Jonathan's decision to not reunite with his birth father.00:28:55 - Journey to Healing
Jonathan discusses his healing journey and the steps he has taken.00:29:24 - Acting and Self-Discovery
How acting classes helped Jonathan confront his trauma.00:31:20 - Therapy and Healing Modalities
Jonathan shares his experiences with therapy and alternative healing methods.00:33:22 - Myofascial Release Therapy
Description of myofascial therapy and its impact on Jonathan's healing.00:35:16 - Ketamine Therapy
Jonathan discusses his experiences with ketamine therapy and its transformative effects.00:37:43 - Profound Experiences with Ketamine
Jonathan recounts a significant session where he felt a deep connection with his family.00:40:31 - Exploring Other Healing Practices
Jonathan talks about trying Reiki and other energy work.00:41:34 - Creating Voice of Waters
Discussion about Jonathan's film project and its significance in his healing journey.00:42:42 - Closing Thoughts and Resources
Beth encourages listeners to explore Jonathan's work and upcoming events related to adoption. -
"I think my mom does a great job addressing this in the book, but open adoption is not without its challenges." - Belle Sexton
Episode Summary:In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the honor of speaking with Linda R. Sexton, an adoptive mom and author, and her 25-year-old daughter, Belle. This marks our first mother-daughter duo on the podcast, offering a unique perspective on open adoption.
Linda R. Sexton is an author, speaker and blogger. She is an adoptive mom of two children, both in open arrangements, and is the author of the award-winning book, The Branches We Cherish: An Open Adoption Memoir. The story is told with frank honesty about the grief and joys of open adoption. Linda includes the voices of all four birth parents, birth grandmothers and her adopted children. She has seen first hand how an adopted child can benefit greatly by knowing and connecting with birth parents and other members of their biological family. Visit her website lindarsexton.com to learn more.
In our episode, Belle shared her adoption story, highlighting her early life in Texas and the open adoption plan created by her young birth parents. She emphasized the importance of knowing her birth family, which helped her navigate her identity as an adoptee. Linda reflected on the emotional journey of waiting for Belle's birth and the profound moment when Belle's birth mother handed her over in a hospital ceremony.
We discussed the complexities of open adoption, including Belle's feelings of adoptee's guilt and the importance of maintaining connections with birth families. Both emphasized that while open adoption can be challenging, it is a better option when compared to closed adoptions.
For those of you who enjoyed this podcast and wish to know more, The Branches We Cherish: An Open Adoption Memoir is available on Amazon or can be purchased from your favorite bookseller. There are several families involved in the story and most of the names have been changed to protect privacy. (Since you now know Belle, she is Sofie in the book.)
This episode beautifully illustrates the complexities and joys of adoption, and I hope it resonates with those on similar journeys.
===============
📘Get our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL
📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Linda & Belle’s information:
Pick up Linda’s book The Branches We Cherish: An Open Adoption Memoir: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=the+branches+we+cherish+linda+sexton&crid=3UANIFD0F97FF&sprefix=the+branches+we+%25
Or pick it up at an independent bookstore if you prefer: https://bookshop.org/p/books/the-branches-we-cherish-an-open-adoption-memoir-linda-r-sexton/20200003Explore Linda’s website: https://www.lindarsexton.com/
If you want to reach Belle, email Linda through her website, and she will get your message to Belle
Other Resources:
APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: http://UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
Other Parents Like Me - http://oplm.com
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to [email protected]
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
TIME STAMPS
00:00:00 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption
Welcome to the podcast and introduction of hosts and guests.00:01:26 - Belle's Adoption Story
Belle shares her background and experiences with her birth parents.00:03:15 - Terminology in Adoption
Discussion on the vocabulary used to describe adoptive and birth parents.00:04:16 - Linda's Perspective on the Adoption Process
Linda reflects on the emotional journey of adopting Belle.00:06:06 - The Ceremony of Relinquishment
Linda describes the emotional moment of receiving Belle from her birth mother.00:08:09 - Memories and Keepsakes
Belle shares about the memorabilia from her birth family.00:10:12 - Challenges in Open Adoption
Discussion on the complexities and challenges faced in open adoption.00:12:25 - Understanding Birth Parents' Choices
Belle reflects on her birth parents' decision-making process.00:15:46 - Adoptee's Guilt
Belle discusses feelings of guilt and the impact of her adoption experience.00:19:03 - Navigating Relationships with Birth Parents
Belle talks about her relationship dynamics with her birth parents.00:20:52 - The Impact of Writing the Memoir
Linda and Belle discuss the process and effects of writing the memoir together.00:26:02 - Final Thoughts on Open Adoption
Belle and Linda share their concluding thoughts on the benefits and challenges of open adoption.00:28:49 - Connecting with the Audience
Linda provides information on how to reach her and access her resources. -
"The way that fascism triumphs is if everyone goes silent and becomes quiescent." - Mark H.
EPISODE SUMMARY:
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I, Beth Syverson, welcome Mark, a transracial adoptee from Korea and a passionate advocate for adoption-related issues. Together, we delve into the often-overlooked intersection of politics and adoption, particularly in the context of the upcoming U.S. presidential election.
As an adoptive mom of a 20-year-old son, Joey, who is navigating his own path, I feel a deep responsibility to address the complexities surrounding adoption and how they relate to broader societal issues. This election is particularly significant, as it touches on critical topics such as racial justice, women's reproductive rights, LGBTQ+ rights, and the preservation of our democratic systems. With Joey preparing to vote for the first time, I am acutely aware of the stakes involved and the long-term impact our choices will have on future generations.
Mark shares his unique perspective as a transracial adoptee and a gay man, highlighting the challenges he faced growing up in a predominantly white environment. He reflects on the societal norms of his youth, where discussing politics was often taboo, and emphasizes the importance of speaking out in today's climate. Mark articulates the existential nature of this election, particularly for marginalized communities, and the need for individuals to engage in political discourse.
Throughout our conversation, we explore the implications of having a woman of color, Kamala Harris, as a presidential candidate. While Mark expresses excitement about her candidacy, he also addresses the racism and misogyny she faces, which resonates deeply with his own experiences of being “other”ed. We discuss how the political landscape has shifted, particularly within the Republican Party, and the urgent need for individuals to recognize and confront systemic racism.
Mark and I emphasize the importance of activism, not just in the traditional sense of protests and demonstrations, but in everyday conversations with friends, family, and neighbors. We encourage listeners to engage with those around them, especially in swing states, to ensure that their voices are heard and that they participate in the electoral process.
As we wrap up the episode, I invite listeners to reflect on their own roles in advocating for change and to consider how their political choices impact the lives of those in the adoption community and beyond. We urge everyone to vote, to educate themselves, and to have open discussions about the critical issues at stake in this election.
This episode serves as a call to action for all of us to be brave, to stand up for what we believe in, and to work towards a more equitable society for everyone, especially those affected by adoption. Thank you for joining us in this important conversation.
===============
📘Get our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL
📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
If you’d like to connect with Mark H., send him an email through me at [email protected]. He’s staying anonymous in this episode in order to not jeopardize his job.
Respond to this episode on Unraveling Adoption’s page on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, or LinkedIn.
Other resource mentioned in this episode:
White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism by Robin J. DiAngelo: https://www.amazon.com/White-Fragility-People-About-Racism-ebook/dp/B07638ZFN1
Other Resources:
APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: http://UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
Other Parents Like Me - http://oplm.com
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to [email protected]
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Please rate (*****) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!
===============
TIME STAMPS
00:01:00 - The Importance of Voting
Beth discusses the significance of the upcoming presidential election and its impact on adoption-related issues.00:02:30 - Introducing Mark
Mark, a transracial adoptee, joins the conversation to discuss the intersection of politics and adoption.00:03:00 - Mark's Background and Perspective
Mark shares his experiences as a transracial adoptee and the importance of speaking out in the current political climate.00:06:00 - The Fog of Whiteness
Mark discusses the challenges of growing up in a predominantly white environment and the implications for transracial adoptees.00:08:30 - Representation in Politics
Mark expresses his feelings about having a woman of color as a presidential candidate and the challenges she faces.00:10:30 - Racism and Misogyny in Politics
Discussion on the racism and misogyny directed at Kamala Harris and its impact on marginalized communities.00:12:30 - Understanding Systemic Racism
Mark explains the difference between individual acts of racism and systemic racism in society.00:14:30 - The Role of White Allies
The importance of white individuals engaging with and understanding issues of race and privilege.00:16:00 - The Stakes of the Election
Mark emphasizes the critical nature of the upcoming election and the need for active participation.00:18:00 - Mobilizing for Change
Discussion on the responsibility of individuals to educate and mobilize others in their communities.00:20:00 - The Importance of Conversations
Mark highlights the power of personal conversations in advocating for change and understanding.00:22:00 - Adoption and Political Interests
Exploration of how adoption intersects with political issues, particularly for families of color.00:24:00 - Activism in Everyday Life
Mark discusses how activism can take many forms, including simple conversations with friends and family.00:26:00 - The Power of Individual Votes
The significance of each vote in local and national elections and the moral obligation to participate.00:28:00 - Conclusion and Call to Action
Beth and Mark encourage listeners to engage in the political process and advocate for marginalized communities. -
“They [our kids] can't be more regulated than you are. They can only be as regulated as the least regulated person in the house.” - Stacey Uhrig
EPISODE SUMMARY:
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Stacey Uhrig, an adoptive parent and certified trauma recovery coach. Stacey shared her journey into adoption, which began after her own struggles with infertility. She emphasized the emotional complexities and challenges that come with adoption, particularly the trauma that both adoptees and adoptive parents may face.
Stacey discussed her experiences raising two boys adopted from Korea and the significant insights she gained about trauma, attachment, and the impact of early disruptions in a child's life. We explored the importance of understanding the emotional wounds that children may carry from their past experiences, even before they come into our homes.
Throughout our conversation, we highlighted the need for adoptive parents to do their own emotional work in order to better support their children. Stacey shared valuable resources, including her own ebook, What is Trauma Really?, and her podcast, Flip Your Mindset, both of which aim to educate and empower those affected by adoption.
We also touched on the misconceptions surrounding trauma and the importance of approaching parenting with empathy and an open mind. This episode serves as a reminder that understanding adoption trauma is crucial for creating a nurturing environment for our children. I hope this conversation resonates with adoptive parents and encourages them to seek knowledge and support in their parenting journey.
===============
📘Get our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL
📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Stacey’s contact information:
Look up Stacey’s website: https://www.flipyourmindset.com/
Hear Stacey’s podcast: https://www.flipyourmindset.com/podcast
Find Stacey on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/flipyourmindsetpodcast/
Download Staceys’ FREE e-book What Is Trauma Really?: https://flip-your-mindset.ck.page/20d3e76a8d
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
Seven Core Issues in Adoption and Permanency: A Comprehensive Guide to Promoting Understanding and Healing In Adoption, Foster Care, Kinship Families and Third Party Reproduction by Sharon Roszia and Allison Davis Maxon: https://www.amazon.com/Seven-Core-Issues-Adoption-Permanency/dp/1785928236/
Other Resources:
APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: http://UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
Other Parents Like Me - http://oplm.com
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to [email protected]
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Please rate (*****) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!
===============
TIME STAMPS:
00:00:00 - Introduction
Welcome to Unraveling Adoption with host Beth Cyberson and guest Stacey Uhrig.00:01:00 - Stacey's Adoption Journey
Stacey shares her path to adoption through infertility and decision-making.00:03:30 - Challenges in Adoption
Discussion on the challenges faced, including school difficulties and a brain injury.00:06:00 - Understanding Adoption Trauma
Stacey reflects on the concept of the primal wound and its implications.00:08:30 - Lack of Resources
The struggle to find support and resources for adoptive parents.00:10:30 - Importance of Education
The need for better preparation for adoptive parents regarding challenges.00:12:30 - Personal Growth
How learning about trauma provided Stacey with grace in her parenting.00:15:00 - Impact of Early Experiences
Effects of early attachment disruptions on adopted children.00:18:00 - Parental Responsibility
The role of adoptive parents in understanding and healing trauma.00:21:00 - Coaching Approach
Stacey explains her coaching methods for adoptive parents.00:24:00 - Nature of Trauma
Exploration of trauma's meaning and effects on children.00:27:00 - Self-Reflection for Parents
Encouragement for parents to do their own emotional work.00:30:00 - Work with Adoptees
Stacey discusses her methods for working with adoptees.00:33:00 - Conclusion and Resources
Wrap-up and sharing of Stacey's website and podcast for further resources. -
"When I was nine years old,...my parents just looked at each other and looked back at me and said, Michael, we just want to tell you that we love you very much and that you're adopted." -- Mike Thorne
===============
📘Get our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL
📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
==============
EPISODE SUMMARY:
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, I had the pleasure of speaking with Mike Thorne, an adoptee and community leader. Mike shared his journey of discovering his adoption at age nine, which profoundly impacted his self-worth. We discussed the importance of building personal trust communities—supportive networks that provide emotional and intellectual guidance, especially for those navigating the complexities of adoption.Mike also reflected on his time as a board member of the National Council for Adoption (NCFA), emphasizing the need for diverse perspectives in adoption discussions. He encouraged listeners to seek out their own support systems and focus on their dreams rather than being held back by past experiences.
This episode serves as a powerful reminder of the importance of connection and understanding within the adoption community. I hope you find inspiration in Mike's insights and encourage you to explore his TEDx Talk and memoir for further understanding. Thank you for joining us, and I look forward to continuing this important conversation in future episodes.
RESOURCES:
Mike Thorne’s information:
Watch Mike’s TEDx Talk: https://www.ted.com/talks/michael_thorne_three_words_that_can_transform_our_lives_they_aren_t_what_you_think?subtitle=en
Read Mike’s memoir Hustle With Heart: Unlocking Self-Worth Through Personal Trust Communities: https://www.amazon.com/Hustle-Heart-Unlocking-Self-Worth-Communities/dp/1958729698/
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
NCFA - National Council for Adoption: https://adoptioncouncil.org/
Simon Benn’s organization & podcast Thriving Adoptees: https://www.thrivingadoptees.com/
Other resources:
APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: http://UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
Other Parents Like Me - http://oplm.com
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to [email protected]
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
TIME STAMPS:
00:00:00 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption
Welcome to the podcast and introduction of host Beth Syverson and her son Joey.00:01:00 - Mike Thorne's Adoption Story
Mike shares his vivid experience of discovering he was adopted at the age of nine.00:02:30 - Navigating Adoption Conversations
Discussion on the lack of resources and conversations around adoption during Mike's childhood.00:03:55 - Understanding Late Discovery Adoptees
Exploration of the term "late discovery adoptee" and its implications.00:05:00 - Age-Appropriate Communication in Adoption
The importance of age-appropriate discussions about adoption with children.00:06:00 - Adoptee Perspectives in Education
Mike discusses his daughter's experiences as a teacher and the impact of sharing adoption stories.00:07:00 - Mike's Leadership in Adoption Advocacy
Mike's involvement with the National Council for Adoption and the importance of adoptee voices.00:08:30 - Adoptee Panel at NCFA Conference
Insights from the adoptee panel at the NCFA conference and its impact on attendees.00:10:00 - The Need for Male Voices in Adoption
The significance of including male and non-binary perspectives in the adoption conversation.00:11:00 - Evolution of NCFA
Discussion on the changes within the National Council for Adoption and its leadership.00:12:00 - Mike's Future Goals in Maine
Mike shares his plans to connect with local organizations in Maine to support adoption and foster care.00:13:00 - Corporate Leadership Background
Mike discusses his corporate experience and how it informs his approach to leadership.00:15:00 - The Importance of Personal Trust Communities
Introduction to the concept of personal trust communities and their role in personal growth.00:18:00 - Overcoming Perfectionism in Adoptees
Mike reflects on the perfectionism often experienced by adoptees and its roots.00:20:00 - Building Supportive Networks
The importance of finding the right people to support you in various aspects of life.00:22:00 - Adoptee Spaces and Support
The value of finding supportive spaces for adoptees to share their experiences.00:24:00 - Challenges for Adoptive Parents
Discussion on the struggles adoptive parents face in understanding and supporting their children.00:26:00 - Collaboration Among Organizations
The need for collaboration among nonprofits to improve outcomes for children in the adoption system.00:28:00 - Mike's Vision for the Future
Mike shares his aspirations for making a difference in the adoption community.00:30:00 - Encouragement for Listeners
Mike encourages listeners to focus on their dreams and find supportive communities.00:32:00 - Conclusion and Resources
Wrap-up of the episode, including resources for listeners to connect with Mike and Beth. -
"I tell every adopted person that I meet that their story changes my own story. And it's the truth. It is the absolute truth." - Jessica M. Luciere
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, host Beth Syverson interviews Jessica M. Luciere, an inter-country, interracial adoptee from Colombia who works at Spence Chapin, a nonprofit adoption agency. Jessica shares her personal adoption story and highlights the importance of adoptee-led initiatives in the adoption community. She discusses the programming she has created at Spence Chapin, including Voices of Adoption for adoptees over 18 and Teen Voices of Adoption for younger adoptees. Jessica emphasizes the significance of community and support for adoptees and adoptive parents, encouraging them to be open, vulnerable, and willing to learn. She also shares her experience of reuniting with her birth family in Colombia and offers advice for adoptees seeking connection with others. Beth and Jessica stress the importance of listening to adoptees' voices and elevating their perspectives in the adoption conversation. Overall, the episode highlights the value of community, support, and understanding in the adoption journey.
===============
📘Pick up our new book Adoption and Suicidality: https://www.amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL
📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Jessica’s information:
Spence Chapin’s website: https://spence-chapin.org/
Voices of Adoption - support groups for adults and teen adoptees: https://spence-chapin.org/voices-of-adoption/
Jessica's email: [email protected]Jessica’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jmluciere/
Other Resources:
APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: http://UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
Other Parents Like Me - http://oplm.com
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to [email protected]
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Please rate (*****) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!
===============
TIME STAMPS
00:00:00 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption and Jessica
00:05:30 - Importance of Adoptee-Led Initiatives
00:10:00 - Training and Support for Adoptive Parents
00:13:00 - Growing Up as a Transracial Adoptee
00:15:30 - Reuniting with Birth Family
00:17:00 - Advice for Adoptees Seeking Connection
00:19:00 - Advice for Adoptive Parents
00:20:30 - Resources and Programming at Spence Chapin
00:22:00 - Conclusion and Call to Action -
"The Church, of course, is doing everything it can to silence victims." - Brendan Watkins
EPISODE SUMMARY:
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, the host, Beth Syverson, interviews Brendan Watkins, an Australian adoptee who shares his emotional journey of discovering his origin story filled with religious intrigue. Brendan found out that his birth mother became pregnant in the 1950s and relinquished him for adoption, and later became a nun. He then discovered that his birth father was a Catholic priest. Brendan's memoir, Tell No One, sheds light on the challenges faced by children of priests and nuns. The episode delves into the complexities of adoption, the impact of secrecy and shame, and the need for awareness and support for individuals affected by such circumstances. Brendan emphasizes the importance of mental health support and seeking legal assistance for those in similar situations. The episode highlights the ongoing struggle for justice and recognition faced by children of priests and nuns, urging listeners to educate themselves and support those affected by these issues.===============
📘Get our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL
📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Brendan Watkin’s information:
Check out Brendan’s website: www.brendanwatkins.com.au
Grab Brendan’s memoir Tell No One: https://www.amazon.com/Tell-No-One-Brendan-Watkins-ebook/dp/B0CJ3P5HNT
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
SNAP (Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests): https://www.snapnetwork.org/
Coping International (Children of Priests International): https://www.copinginternational.com/
Other Resources:
APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: http://UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
Other Parents Like Me - http://oplm.com
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to [email protected]
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
TIME STAMPS:
Introduction to Unraveling Adoption: 00:00:02-00:00:34
Brendan's Early Childhood and Adoption Revelation: 00:01:36-00:03:08
Discovering Birth Mother's Identity: 00:03:28-00:05:14
Revealing Birth Father's Identity: 00:06:34-00:08:53
Insights into Relationship Between Birth Parents: 00:09:19-00:09:51
Discussion on Celibacy and Wealth in the Church: 00:10:32-00:12:53
Impact of NDAs and Confidentiality Agreements: 00:16:15-00:19:01
Support and Justice for Children of Priests and Nuns: 00:20:11-00:22:56
Reflections on the Church's Actions and Victims: 00:23:20-00:26:04
Resources and Conclusion: 00:26:54-00:28:30
-
"I never learned the word stress until I was 14 years old. And I can guarantee you I was very stressed well before the age of 14." -- Rae
===============
📘 Order our book Adoption and Suicidality: https://www.amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL
📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
EPISODE SUMMARY:
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, host Beth Syverson interviews Rae, whose handle is Adoptee Reclaimed. Rae discusses how being homeschooled from kindergarten through high school in a conservative family led to feelings of isolation and pressure to conform. She highlights the challenges adoptees particularly face in homeschooling, such as the heightened power dynamic between adoptive parents and adoptees, the lack of diverse perspectives in education, and the impact on social skills development.
Rae emphasizes the importance of having additional teachers or group activities to provide different perspectives and social interactions for homeschooled adoptees. She also shares advice for isolated adoptees, encouraging them to be patient with themselves and seek out supportive communities.
Overall, the episode sheds light on the complexities of adoption and homeschooling, urging listeners to engage with adoptees and homeschooling families to better understand and support them. Rae's insights provide valuable perspectives on the intersection of adoption and education, highlighting the need for more awareness and support for adoptees in homeschooling environments.
===============
RESOURCES:
Rae’s information:
Find Rae as Adoptee Reclaimed on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/adoptee_reclaimed
Find Rae as Adoptee Reclaimed on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/adopteereclaimed
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
Coalition for Responsible Home Education: https://responsiblehomeschooling.org/
Other resources:
APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: http://UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
Other Parents Like Me - http://oplm.com
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to [email protected]
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
TIME STAMPS:
00:00:02 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption
00:01:13 - Introducing Guest, Rae, and Discussion on Homeschooling
00:02:54 - Rae's Experience with Homeschooling and Adoption
00:04:44 - Rae's Initial Thoughts on Homeschooling
00:06:16 - Challenges Faced in Homeschooling
00:08:30 - Impact of Isolation in Homeschooling on Adoptees
00:10:00 - Transition to College and Educational Gaps
00:11:06 - Intersection of Homeschooling and Adoption
00:12:58 - Pressure to Conform in Homeschooling
00:14:31 - Potential for Abuse in Homeschooling
00:15:41 - Educational Gaps and Social Challenges in College
00:17:50 - Emotional Growth and Social Behavior
00:19:44 - Recommendations for Improving Homeschooling for Adoptees
00:22:18 - Ways to Support Adoptees in Isolated Homeschooling Environments
00:26:06 - Advice for Isolated Adoptees
00:28:06 - Conclusion and Contact Information
-
"I really want to focus on the collective nature of being stolen, because it wasn't just me. It was the vast majority of Native adoptees." -- Pete Patton
Episode Summary:In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, co-hosted by Beth Syverson and her son Joey, they interview Pete Patton,LCSW, an Indigenous Inuit adoptee who shares his experiences of being stolen and adopted. Pete discusses the historical context of racism in Oregon and the impact it had on Native American communities there and elsewhere. He also delves into his journey of reconnecting with his Indigenous heritage and the healing process he has undergone. Pete highlights the importance of understanding the collective experiences of adoptees and the need for reconnection with ancestors. The conversation sheds light on the complexities of adoption and the importance of listening to and learning from Indigenous voices. The episode emphasizes the significance of acknowledging and honoring the stories of adoptees and the importance of cultural reconnection for healing.
Photo Credit for cover photo of Pete: Alberto Moreno
================
📘Get our new book Adoption and Suicidality: amazon.com/Adoption-Suicidality-Healthcare-Professionals-Unraveling/dp/B0DCBCTSLL
📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Pete’s information:
Contact Pete via email at [email protected]
Find the chapter that Pete contributed to in this book: Altogether Us: Integrating the IFS Model with Key Modalities, Communities, and Trends: https://www.amazon.com/Altogether-Us-Integrating-Modalities-Communities/dp/1734958421
Hear Pete on The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems with Tammy Sollenberger: https://tammysollenberger.com/ifs-and-echoes-of-ancestral-wisdom-stories-of-indigenous-resilience-and-connection-with-suzan-mcvicker-and-pete-patton/
Other resources mentioned in this episode:
IFS Institute (Internal Family Systems): https://ifs-institute.com/
Here are the books Pete mentions:
Braiding Sweetgrass: Indigenous Wisdom, Scientific Knowledge and the Teachings of Plants by Robin Wall Kimmerer: https://www.amazon.com/Braiding-Sweetgrass-Indigenous-Scientific-Knowledge-ebook/dp/B00D0V44LC
1491: New Revelations of the Americas Before Columbus by Charles C. Mann: https://www.amazon.com/1491-Second-Revelations-Americas-Columbus-ebook/dp/B000JMKVE4
The Rediscovery of America: Native Peoples and the Unmaking of U.S. History by Ned Blackhawk: https://www.amazon.com/Rediscovery-America-Unmaking-American-Modernity-ebook/dp/B0BX1BS5VL
The Memory of Souls by Cliff Taylor: https://www.amazon.com/Memory-Souls-Cliff-Taylor/dp/B08K3YHXGN
Other Resources:
APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: http://UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
Other Parents Like Me - http://oplm.com
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to [email protected]
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Please rate (*****) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!
===============
TIME STAMPS
00:00:00 - Introduction to Unraveling Adoption
00:01:24 - Focus on Being Stolen and Adopted
00:04:32 - Historical Context of Assimilation Policies
00:10:58 - Impact of Cultural Othering
00:14:07 - Connecting with Indigenous Community
00:18:45 - Seven B's of Indigenous-inspired IFS
00:20:20 - Shamanic Death Experience and Spiritual Journey
00:23:20 - Impact of Buffalo Population Annihilation
00:24:43 - Adoption as an Extension of Boarding Schools
00:26:02 - Sharing Collective Experiences of Adoption
00:26:56 - Upcoming Events and Conclusion
-
Adoption and Suicidality with Joey Nakao, Dr. Joyce Maguire Pavao, Bruce Porth, Janell Strube, Laura L. Engel, Lorraine Dusky, Terri Dreismeier, and Melissa Brunetti - Ep 158
"Despite working hard on a daily or moment-to-moment basis to stay alive, the poem revealed a thin thread of hope that by turning toward and befriending my pain, I might just find a way through it." -- Bruce Porth, one of the book’s contributors
❤️🩹 If you or someone you know is suicidal, please call or text 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. (Outside US, call your area’s crisis line.) ❤️🩹
Podcast Episode Synopsis:In this special episode of Unraveling Adoption, host Beth Syverson delves into the complexities of adoption and its intersection with suicidality. The episode features conversations with various contributors to the newly released book "Adoption and Suicidality," which includes stories, poems, and resources for adoptees, families, healthcare professionals, and allies.
The episode begins with a heartfelt conversation between Beth and her son, Joey, who co-wrote the book. Joey reflects on his journey through mental health struggles and the healing process, emphasizing the importance of sharing their experiences to help others.
Following this, Beth engages in conversations with seven contributors from the book, each sharing their personal stories and insights related to adoption and suicidality. The contributors, including Dr. Joyce Maguire Pavao, Bruce Porth, Janell Strube, Laura Engel, Lorraine Dusky, Terry Dreismeier, and Melissa Brunetti, offer poignant readings from their pieces, shedding light on the emotional complexities and challenges faced within the adoption community.
Throughout the episode, the contributors discuss the stigma surrounding adoption and mental health, the need for open dialogue and education, and the impact of early trauma on mental well-being. They share personal experiences of loss, grief, and resilience, highlighting the importance of community support and understanding.
The episode concludes with a reflection on the powerful and emotional narratives shared, emphasizing the significance of raising awareness, providing resources, and fostering a supportive environment for adoptees and their families. The contributors' raw and honest accounts serve as a catalyst for destigmatizing adoption-related mental health struggles and promoting healing and understanding within the adoption community.
===============
📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES from this episode:
Purchase the book Adoption and Suicidality through Amazon as a paperback book, e-book, and audiobook: https://amzn.to/3YCrRva
Here’s our website with more information about the book, including the resource list in the back of the book: UnravelingAdoption.com/book
Find a therapist, coach, or other healing practitioner through the Healing the Adoption Constellation Database: UnravelingAdoption.com/healing
Find adoption-related support groups and other events through our Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/calendar
Contact the contributors who spoke in this episode:
Dr. Joyce Maguire Pavao: www.pavaoconsulting.com/
Bruce Porth: [email protected]
Janell Strube: janellstrube.com
Laura L. Engel: lauralengel.com
Lorraine Dusky: [email protected]
Terri Dreismeier: instagram.com/dreismeier
Melissa Brunetti, SMGI® Practitioner: somatichealingjourneys.com
Other Resources:
APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: http://UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
Other Parents Like Me - http://oplm.com
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to [email protected]
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
Please rate (*****) and/or review Unraveling Adoption in Apple Podcasts and Spotify (even if you listen to it on another app). Your feedback will help more listeners find our episodes. Thank you!
===============
TIME STAMPS
Introduction to the Book: 00:00:03-00:02:10
Joey's Reflections on the Book: 00:02:14-00:04:07
Contributors’ Introductions: 00:12:57-00:13:40
Contributor Readings and Reflections: 00:13:40-00:25:17
Discussion on Suicide and Adoption: 00:25:17-00:36:11
Impact of Adoption on Mental Health: 00:36:29-00:39:06
Reading Excerpts from Contributors: 00:40:05-01:01:20
Hope for Readers/Listeners: 01:01:30-01:21:57
-
"I think my mom, my adoptive mom, was probably scared that she was going to lose me to my birth family." -- Elizabeth Barbour
EPISODE SUMMARY:
In this episode of Unraveling Adoption, host Beth Syverson interviews guest Elizabeth Barbour, an adoptee who has been in reunion with her birth parents and 11 siblings since 1999. Elizabeth shares her personal adoption story and highlights the importance of navigating search and reunion in a healthy way. She emphasizes the need for support, education, and personal growth for all members of the adoption triad. Elizabeth also discusses the significance of rituals and ceremonies in maintaining long-term relationships post-reunion. Additionally, she mentions her upcoming book on adoption reunion and the spiritual journey she has experienced through adoption.
===============
📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
===============
RESOURCES:
Connect with Elizabeth at https://elizabethbarbour.com/
Check out her book, Sacred Celebrations: Designing Rituals to Navigate Life’s Milestone Transitions: https://www.amazon.com/Sacred-Celebrations-Designing-Milestone-Transitions/dp/0972468692
Look into the October 2024 Magical Mountain Retreat in Asheville, NC: www.elizabethbarbour.com/retreats
Find Elizabeth on social media:
FB: https://www.facebook.com/elizabethbarbour
IG: https://www.instagram.com/elizabthbarbour/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elizabethbarbour/
Other Resources:
APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: http://UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
Other Parents Like Me - http://oplm.com
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
===============
Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to [email protected]
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
===============
TIME STAMPS:
00:00:00 - Introduction to Adoption and Reunion
00:05:30 - Elizabeth's Reunion Story
00:10:43 - Rituals in Reunion Celebrations
00:13:38 - Impact of Personal Adoption Experience on Parenting
00:15:33 - Family Constellations Workshop Experience
00:17:50 - Advice for Adoptive Parents in Search and Reunion
00:20:24 - Advice for Birth Parents in Reunion
00:22:41 - Spiritual Journey in Adoption and Reunion
00:24:07 - Upcoming Reunion Book Announcement
00:25:15 - Conclusion and Resource Recommendations -
“Love is the biggest and best thing that she did — unconditional love." Desmond DeRoo
EPISODE SUMMARY:
In this episode of the podcast, I had the privilege of speaking with Desmond DeRoo, a 30-year-old currently serving his second prison term in Michigan. Desmond, who was adopted by Sarah DeRoo at the age of five after being in the foster care system, shared his experiences of growing up as a biracial child in a small white town in Michigan. Despite facing intense early childhood trauma and struggles with impulsive behavior, Desmond emphasized the importance of unconditional love and support from his adoptive family, especially his mother, Sarah.
Desmond provided valuable advice for struggling youth, emphasizing the importance of finding one's passion, surrounding oneself with positive influences, and taking responsibility for one's actions. He also highlighted the significance of seeking community support and resources, especially for adoptive parents facing challenges in raising their children.
The episode shed light on the failures of various systems, including the foster care, education, and criminal justice systems, in supporting individuals like Desmond. It underscored the need for greater awareness, empathy, and proactive intervention to prevent marginalized youth from falling through the cracks and entering the prison pipeline.
Overall, Desmond's resilience, wisdom, and commitment to helping others serve as an inspiration for adoptive parents and individuals navigating trauma and adversity. His and his mom’s joint message of hope and empowerment resonates with the importance of building supportive communities and advocating for systemic change to create a more inclusive and compassionate society.
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📆 Community Calendar: UnravelingAdoption.com/Calendar
✨Healing the Adoption Constellation database: UnravelingAdoption.com/Healing
💌Sign up for our Unraveling Adoption email list: http://eepurl.com/hVIAVX
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RESOURCES:
Desmond and Sara’s information:
Connect with Desmond and Sara through their website: https://lovingdesmond.com/
Buy their book through Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Loving-Desmond-DeRoo/dp/B0CZPHNS9K
Follow on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lovingdesmondbook/
Follow on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090386023261
Other Resources:
Statistics about foster care and prison that were mentioned in the intro: https://cepr.org/voxeu/columns/foster-care-prison-pipeline
APtitude Support Group for Adoptive Parents Facing Adoption’s Challenges: http://UnravelingAdoption.com/APtitude
Other Parents Like Me - http://oplm.com
Heather Ross - Life Coaching for Parents who have a child struggling with addiction: https://heatherrosscoaching.com/
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Unraveling Adoption is produced and hosted by Beth Syverson
Music written and performed by Joseph Nakao
Email questions or comments to [email protected]
Find us on Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube
Support Unraveling Adoption on Patreon: http://Patreon.com/UnravelingAdoption
Check out our website: http://UnravelingAdoption.com
Create your own podcast through Libsyn: https://signup.libsyn.com/?promo_code=ADOPTION
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TIME STAMPS:
00:00:00 - Introduction: Beth Syverson introduces herself and her role as an adoptive mom, setting the stage for the podcast episode.
00:02:41 - Foster Care to Prison Pipeline Statistics: Discussion on the statistics and challenges faced by former foster children in the criminal justice system.
00:06:29 - Desmond and Sara's Background: Introduction to Desmond and Sara DeRoo's story, highlighting their experiences with adoption and trauma.
00:09:12 - Desmond's Early Trauma and Challenges: Desmond's struggles as a biracial child in a small white town, his impulsive behavior, and encounters with the criminal justice system.
00:12:00 - Sara's Parenting Journey: Sara's experiences as a widow raising six adopted kids and blending families, navigating the complexities of adoption.
00:19:12 - Impact of Education System on Desmond: Discussion on how the education system failed Desmond and contributed to his path towards prison.
00:25:48 - Advice for Adoptive Parents: Desmond and Sara share advice for parents, emphasizing the importance of love, support, and seeking help.
00:35:16 - Desmond's Advice for Struggling Youth: Desmond offers advice for struggling youth, focusing on finding passion, surrounding oneself with positive influences, and taking responsibility for actions.
00:42:09 - Desmond's Future Plans Post-Prison: Desmond discusses his plans post-prison, including working with kids and using his experiences to help others.
00:46:55 - Final Thoughts and Advice on Adoption Journey: Desmond and Sara emphasize the importance of community, seeking support, and being open about struggles in the adoption journey.
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