Episódios
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An analogy to help us conceptualize the work of deoprogramming
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On our very first Halloween episode, we take a cold, hard, chilling look at the spooky topic of death, and explore the possibility that death isn't necessarily the big scary monster we thought it was.
We start by sitting for a bit with the uncomfortable actuality of our imminent demise, followed by some more comforting ideas to take the edge off.
Finally, I open up about some of my personal experiences with the afterlife...
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Narrative, perspective, point of view, opinion, belief, story... all of these word and phrases point to the same thing: That our experience of the world is subjective, and shaped by the stories we hold about the world and our relationship to it.
I'm sure you're all too aware of the way the JW story has dominated your worldview.
In today's episode, we talk about how take back control over our story, and safegaurd it from those with the intention to undermine it
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This episode is the first in a series of "mini" episodes entitled STRONGER.
Sometimes we get so mired down in all the heaviness around leaving the org, that we lose sight of why we left in the first place; which is to grow, explore, and experience life to the fullest.
The STRONGER series will be focused on all things related to building resiliency and developing the skill set which will move us from surviving to thriving.
In today's episode, we focus on the practice of meditation. Sure, it may be a well covered topic, but I have a unique take that I believe will clarify a few misconceptions and might make this practice a bit more accessible to you
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Last week we came down pretty hard on all you "nice" guys and gals out there. This week, as promised, we bring some practical steps towards breaking this nasty habit, including mindfulness, saying yes to "no", saying no to "sorry", and the difference between "being nice" and kindness.
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Of all the common challenges faced by ex-JWs, people pleasing is at the number one spot for most universal. We can't help ourselves. We have been wired in every way imaginable towards having this disposition.
And lets be honest... it sucks
It's corrosive to our sense of well being, to our confidence, and extremely detrimental to our relationships.
In part one of this two-part episode, we take a long hard look at the ugly side of being (shudder) "nice"
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As ex-JWs, we have our work cut out for us in terms of healing. From leaving the org, to connecting with our true self, redefining our spiritual beliefs, rebuilding our community... the list goes on.
All of this is even more challenging in light of the fact that we haven't really been taught how to approach self-directed growth.
Today, we break away from the more granular topics we normally focus on, and use a wider lens to understand the basic mechanisms and mindsets of "doing the work" which are guaranteed to produce the kind of traction and growth we're all looking for in our lives
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So you've finally reached the end of your rope.
Despite all your best efforts to maintain the status quo and fly under the radar, you've reached a point where you just can't do it anymore. The pain and discomfort of hiding your true feelings has finally grown larger than your fear of leaving the organization.
While this is an empowering, momentous first step towards living a fuller, more fulfilling life, it begins with a period of upheaval which will inevitably create turbulence and often ruptures in your close relationships.
In today's episode, we'll help you prepare for this big moment by discussing:
What to expect when they sense you slipping How to finally break the news, and come out of the closet How they will likely respond, and how to handle that -
There was a time in my life when I rolled my eyes at the idea of therapy. It seemed ridiculous that simply talking with someone could ever lead to any kind of real change or improvement to my life experience. I'm delighted to report that I was very, very wrong about that assessment.
Today's episode is a bit of love letter to therapy. We talk about what is therapy, what it is not, how it can be helpful, what good therapy looks like vs bad therapy, and how to go about finding the right therapist (or counselor, or coach) for you.
If you've ever wondered what all the fuss is about, this episode is for you
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Following up on the very positive response we received from part 1, in this episode we elaborate on these ideas around setting boundaries, and cover:
Knowing when to set boundaries Different ways of speaking our boundaries and helpful phrases to use How to handle it when setting boundaries doesn't go as smoothly as we'd like And finally, how to put all these things into practice using practical examples -
To most ex-JWs, especially those newly out, the idea of boundaries is a foreign concept. Because, for the most part, boundaries don't exist within the organization. The idea of saying "no" "that doesn't feel good" or "please don't do that" are not really in our vocabulary, and we've been programmed to think that using those phrases makes us a bad person in some way. In today's episode, we blow the lid off all that bullshit, and empower you to trust in the very simple fact that it is ok for you to choose what feels good for you, and protect yourself from things that do not, regardless of whether other people approve of those choices
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Waking up from the org can be a lonely adventure, and even more so when those in your immediate family are determined to stay asleep
In response to fan requests, today's episode will be devoted to discussing how to navigate this dynamic, and some questions to consider which will help determine how to move forward.
In part 1 we will discuss the best approach for coming out to your spouse
In part 2 we will dive into the question of whether it's worth trying to make the relationship work, and some things to consider when there are kids involved
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Waking up from the org can be a lonely adventure, and even more so when those in your immediate family are determined to stay asleep
In response to fan requests, today's episode will be devoted to discussing how to navigate this dynamic, and some questions to consider which will help determine how to move forward.
In part 1 we will discuss the best approach for coming out to your spouse
In part 2 we will dive into the question of whether it's worth trying to make the relationship work, and some things to consider when there are kids involved
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How many times have we heard that "God is love"? In this episode we challenge that idea. In part 1, we spend some time breaking down challenging that claim based on what we know about god from the bible. In part 2, we will spend some time thinking about what a loving god might actually look like and play with the idea of what life might be like if we allowed ourselves to procede "as if" such a loving being exists
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How many times have we heard that "God is love"? In this episode we challenge that idea. In part 1, we spend some time breaking down challenging that claim based on what we know about god from the bible. In part 2, we will spend some time thinking about what a loving god might actually look like and play with the idea of what life might be like if we allowed ourselves to procede "as if" such a loving being exists
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(This is part 2 of this episode)
Most of us carry some version of the harsh inner critic. And why wouldn't we? All we have been told by the org is that we have been born bad, we can never do enough and that kindness from god is "undeserved".
This abusive voice tends to dominate, interfering with our ability thrive and enjoy our lives.
In this episode, we explore the nature of this voice, and what we can do to empower ourselves, restore the balance and create more harmony in our own minds
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Most of us carry some version of the harsh inner critic. And why wouldn't we? All we have been told by the org is that we have been born bad, we can never do enough and that kindness from god is "undeserved".
This abusive voice tends to dominate, interfering with our ability thrive and enjoy our lives.
In this episode, we explore the nature of this voice, and what we can do to empower ourselves, restore the balance and create more harmony in our own minds
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One of the more common fears I hear about from my clients is that they will unwittingly fall victim to another group or organization that doesn't have their best interests at heart. Because of this, they have trouble opening themselves up to new ideas or engaging with group situations.
In this episode, we discuss the reasons why this fear is misplaced, how it can limit us from having experiences that will be beneficial for our growth., and why you are actually inoculated from anyone ever taking advantage of you in this way again
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Loss of family and friends is one of the most painful aspects of leaving the org. Most of us will do anything in order to maintain those ties. But sometimes the lengths we go to keep those connections does us more harm than good.
In this episode, we explore whether these ties are worth cutting or keeping, and how we might go about severing these connections if we decide that is in our best interest
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