Episódios
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“The best advice I can give you to help you grow as a writer is to experience life.”
We came to hear about queries and proposals. We wanted to learn how this speaker organized submissions and kept track of contact information.
But at this breakout session at this writers’ conference, she insisted:
“I know you think your writing career is all about composing articles and books, but you have to be able to say something. Both fiction and nonfiction writers need material, so get out there and live life—take risks!”
The Power of Risks
To illustrate, she shared her own story about trying to waterski for the first time as an adult. Despite feeling intimidated, she took the plunge. The experience provided her with vivid sensations and emotions to write about, enriching her work with concrete details.
Her story prompted me to recall my own adventure. Earlier that same summer, I'd been invited to waterski, as well. Although I ended up with a spectacular wipeout, the memory of that risky experience stayed with me. I could see from my own life that she was right—I took the risk and lived to tell the tale, and it became material for my writing.
Embrace New Experiences
Creatives need to say yes to new experiences, even when they feel risky. Whether it’s traveling to a new locale, picking up a new hobby, or simply walking in the woods, these experiences fuel our creativity.
Julia Cameron encourages creatives to step out of their usual environments to gather fresh inspiration from museums, yarn shops, antique emporiums, and international grocery stores. These “Artist Dates,” as she calls them, are foundational to living a creative life.
Everyday Surprises
To boost creativity, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi suggests we “try to be surprised by something every day” (347, Creativity). This can be as simple as noticing an unusual car (for example, I spotted a Tesla Cybertruck today) or trying a new dish (pupusas are delicious).
These small, everyday surprises add up, providing fresh material for our writing.
Combine Input with Your Unique Voice
Our writing deepens as we combine new experiences with our unique perspectives. The more we explore, the more we bring to our projects.
Each risk, each new experience, and each surprise enriches our voice and adds depth to our work. We produce original material, surprising the reader as well as ourselves.
Let Life Inspire Your Writing
By embracing the world around us, we not only enhance our writing but also grow as individuals.
Step out, explore, take risks, and let life inspire your next great piece. Next time you sit down to write, your work will take on your fresh voice and new life—you’ll have new things to say and new ways to say them.
Resources
Original version of waterski story
Ep 211: Be More Creative to Enjoy Your Best Writing Life: Pillar Two
Ep 210: Cultivate Curiosity for Your Best Writing Life, Pillar One
Ep 180: Write to Discover - Start with Yourself -
When I was a child just beginning to speak, my parents drove late into the evening to the rural property they bought. As they drove up the gravel driveway, the sky spread out above us with stars glittering like a million diamonds spread out on a jeweler’s vast black velvet display.
Across the fields, a million lightning bugs hovered in the tall grass, their gleaming bodies flickering on and off.
I pointed at the sky. “’Tars!”
Then I pointed at the field. “Baby ’tars!”
Perhaps I was destined to become a poet from early on, but my confidence in landing on that perfect metaphor virtually disappeared over the years.
As a young adult, when I was writing books and blog posts, I rarely integrated metaphors into my writing, and it showed. My work was straightforward. Plainspoken.
While there’s nothing wrong with clear writing—in fact, that’s the foundation of nonfiction according to Ayn Rand (clarity first, then jazziness, she says1)—it lacked punch and pizzazz. My writing didn’t lift off the page and sink into the imagination or heart of the reader. It lacked that magical moment where an idea or image clicks and sticks with the reader.
Mastering Metaphors to Produce Great Writing
And I knew mastering metaphors was essential to great writing. I did write poetry in college, admiring lines like Emily Dickinson’s:
“Hope” is the thing with feathers -
That perches in the soul -2
Shakespeare’s:
All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;3
And Wordsworth’s: “I wandered lonely as a cloud.”4
Robert Frost said, in an interview in The Atlantic, “If you remember only one thing I've said, remember that an idea is a feat of association, and the height of it is a good metaphor. If you have never made a good metaphor, then you don't know what it's all about.”5
Practicing Metaphor: Create Clunky Metaphors to Land on Magical Metaphors
I resolved to make a good metaphor. I practiced.
My early efforts were hardly as magical as the child connecting stars to lightning bugs. Instead, they were more like a child pointing to a horse and awkwardly pronouncing, "Dog!"
My metaphor practice felt clunkily childish instead of enchantingly childlike, but I had to make clunky comparisons to train my brain to find the oddly ideal ones that would surprise readers.
In a Paris Review interview, William Gass said:
I love metaphor the way some people love junk food. I think metaphorically, feel metaphorically, see metaphorically. And if anything in writing comes easily, comes unbidded, often unwanted, it is metaphor. Like follows as as night the day. Now most of these metaphors are bad and have to be thrown away. Who saves used Kleenex?6
The process of making metaphors and practicing at it will result in some stinkers. The bad ones, like used Kleenex, need not find their way into your work. Toss ’em. That’s what I’ve done.
Most of my comparisons fall flat, but I’ve found it's worth experimenting with mediocre metaphors in hopes of landing on ideal metaphors because when we nail it—when we find the language that connects—the reader remembers, relates, reads on, and possibly repeats what we say.
I kept writing dumb metaphors until I found better, more creative, comparisons.
Poets, like Gass said, “think metaphorically, feel metaphorically, see metaphorically.” We don’t have to be poets to play with metaphor, but we can follow their lead, studying their technique, admiring the rhythm of how they see and put it into words, like they’re fly fishing, casting their line, the rod in motion, repeating the flow until the rod bends, line taut.
Our first time casting, we may end up with our lines tangled in the weeds lining the stream, but we’re out there, learning the process, finding the flow. It’ll come, in time, with practice.
Collecting Magical Metaphors
A smarter idea than bumbling around on our own would be to collect samples of metaphors that stick. -
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I made a last-minute decision heading to the most recent writer's conference I attended. I’d planned to take my classy, professional, sleek gray backpack that I’d purchased to replace the original purple one I mentioned in an earlier episode.
As I loaded it, I realized that to stay fortified, I needed to carry snacks and lunch each day—maybe even dinner—and it wouldn’t all squeeze into the professional-looking slim gray bag. I needed a bigger backpack. I dug around in my closet and found an older, different, ridiculously large purple backpack that I use for long trips.
It wasn’t professional-looking at all, but my lunches would fit just right, so I showed up at this much anticipated writing festival with a purple backpack after all, and podcast listeners attending the conference would stop me.
They’d heard the episode about planning and packing for a writing event. They’d shout, “The purple backpack!” and I’d say, “You’re a listener!” and we’d have a great time talking about writing.
So that’s my first of 15 tips, some of which are super practical, like this one…
Tip #1: Make sure your bag is big enough
Test your bag to ensure it’s big enough to hold all the things you plan to carry with you each day plus whatever swag you collect along the way…even if you’re not going to look as professional as you’d like.
And don’t worry if your bag is a bit odd. People really do recognize you in a crowd if you have a memorable bag, purple or otherwise.
Tip #2: Tuck your business cards behind your name tag
Someone shared this pro tip with me years ago: When you go up to the registration table, you’ll get a name tag attached to a lanyard. Pull out five or six business cards and tuck them behind your conference-designed name tag in the plastic holder clipped to the lanyard, facing out.
When the tag inevitably spins around, people can always see your name—one side is your name on the conference-designed name tag; the other, if it flips around, will show the front of your own business card.
Your cards will be convenient to slip out and hand to someone without fumbling around in a bag.
You can tuck other people’s business cards behind yours when you swap to avoid losing them; at the end of each day, pull out other people’s cards, add their names to your contacts app, and replenish your own cards for the next day.
Tip #3: Decide which sessions to attend
If you haven’t already, plan which sessions you want to attend and mark those in your conference binder.
I choose sessions featuring industry experts I want to learn from or people I admire. This could be authors or publishing house representatives like a marketing executive or an acquisitions editor.
Circle the sessions you think are ideal for you.
But…
Tip #4: Stay open to adapting the plan
Making a plan but staying flexible can help you feel less rigid, more open to serendipity. Or as Laura Fabrycky suggested I share with you, “Stay open to interruptions and sheer surprises.”
One morning at a recent conference, I planned to attend poet Christian Wiman’s session. In fact, I’d made tentative plans to meet up with a friend. I needed to allow a five- to ten-minute walk from the main gathering area.
As I was making tea, I got to talking with authors Summer Joy Gross and Lori Melton. Summer’s book was about to be released and we had not seen each other in person for several years. Then Lori and I connected at a conference years ago and we were enjoying these moments to catch up.
We were deep into the conversation when I looked at my watch and realized there was no way I would make it to see Chris Wiman—or I’d have to slip in late.
Summer asked, “Are you going to the Madeleine L’Engle session?”
“What do you mean the Madeleine L’Engle session?”
“Her granddaughter’s speaking about an unpublished book. It’s in this building in the Board Room.” Well, that I could make on time.
I had read the conference schedule, -
Are you getting ready to attend a writers’ conference?
Guess what? So am I! And I want to make the most of my time there, so let’s think through what will help with that.
You’re likely going for at least two reasons: to learn and to connect. You might also be going to pitch your project. Let’s prep, plan, and pack to get the most out of this upcoming event, so you’re even better prepared to learn, connect, and pitch.
And given that I work with a lot of published authors and speakers, it’s possible you’re one of the presenters. One day I might share detailed speaker recommendations, but for now I did weave in a few suggestions to make your faculty conference experience a little easier, too.
Event Binder
First, I should mention the Event Binder. This idea originated with Kathi Lipp on an episode of Writing at the Red House. Years ago I heard her describe what she includes in her “dossier,” as she calls it, and I’ve adopted and adapted the list to make it my own.
I load it up with all travel information (printed out, obviously) like reservations, and confirmations; contact names and emails; an envelope for receipts; a mileage tracker where I can log each outing; a printout of the schedule; and more. If I’m speaking, I print out copies of my messages in case technology fails.
That said, I do create redundancy by dropping the same information into a folder on my phone in an app like Google Drive or Notion. And I’ll save the key locations in my maps app so it’s a quick click and I’m on my way.
If you’d like a list of what I have in my Event Binder whether I’m an attendee or speaker, head to annkroeker.com/conferenceprep to get a checklist.
Research Speakers
Hopefully you already read the session descriptions when choosing this conference and got a feel for the presenters and other faculty.
Study the conference website
Now, in the days before the event, study the website to learn about the organizers and faculty. You never know who you’ll be sitting next to at lunch or crossing in the hallway—knowing the team and speakers means you’ll be able to connect more personally during any random interaction.
Follow and watch or listen to speakers online
Find and follow key faculty on social media. Search YouTube and podcasts to find your favorite speakers. Listen to at least a few minutes of their interviews, presentations, or lectures.
[Edited to add an excellent suggestion from writer Li Mitchell, who replied to my newsletter and suggested “joining presenters' email newsletters (if they have them) and getting to know them through email before you attend their conference …because then when you met them in person, you would already have spoken through email.”]
When you do this, each speaker will lift off the pages of the conference materials and seem even more “real” when you hear them tell a personal story about family or childhood in a podcast interview. You’ll get to hear their voice. You’ll see mannerisms if you see them on video. If you have time before the event, you could read one of their books.
Write what you discover
If you create an Event Binder, write questions to ask and details you learn next to their name and session description. If you need more space for key bits of information, grab a sticky note so you have more room to write. If the speaker says something that stands out—like a hobby, a school, or a trip you relate to in some way—write that down, too.
These little notes are handy—if you brush up on what you’ve written before their session and meet them afterwards, you’ve got a conversation starter (“I heard you love Belgium—my husband’s from Belgium, and I love it, too!”).
The more I learn in advance, the more excited I get about the conference. I hope you do, too.
Find Friends who Plan to Attend
Most events like attendees to use an event-specific hashtag on social media. In fact, they might tag you or share your posts when you ... -
Attending my first writers’ conference proved to be life-changing—or at least career-changing. In the years since, I’ve attended a wide range of writing events, and each one has in some way substantially contributed to my career.
Some deepened my knowledge, others expanded my professional network—most did both.
I can’t imagine where I’d be without them.
Could a writers’ conference be a life-changing/knowledge-deepening/network-expanding opportunity in your future, even this year? If yes, how do you determine the right conference for you?
This post is the first of a short series on how to get the most out of your next (or first!) writers’ conference, starting with how to choose your next (or first!) writers’ conference.
The Gifts of a Writers' Conference
In the early days of my writing career, I explored freelance writing. Thanks to a mentor, I learned how to pitch myself as a writer for companies looking to outsource things like company newsletters and I gained a few core clients.
That launched my professional writing business.
But as a creative writing major attracted to poetry and essay writing, I wanted to explore other types of writing and submit to magazines, for example, so I picked up everything I could from library books.
The books, while excellent, were not enough to answer all my questions or help focus my efforts. And the internet did not exist at that time. In time, I instinctively knew I needed to start connecting with writers and learn from them.
In fact, I started to crave it.
Somehow I heard about an event in Chicago called Write to Publish. I registered and attended it as my very first writers’ conference.
Nervous and unsure what to expect, I showed up and sat through sessions, as speaker after speaker delivered talks that energized my creativity, while the speakers themselves embodied a life I wanted to pursue: that of a working writer building a body of work to be proud of.
Many first-time conference attendees feel so overwhelmed by the flood of information at events like these, they conclude they could never pull it off and give up, walking away from writing and publishing altogether.
I felt overwhelmed, yes, but mostly excited and empowered. It was exactly what I wanted; it was exactly what I needed.
By the end of the conference, I interacted with attendees who in time became colleagues. I met someone who became another writing mentor. Those conference connections formed the beginnings of my professional network.
If you attend a writing conference…
You could meet your next coach or mentor.
You could meet like-minded writers and form a writers’ group.
You could meet industry leaders who offer to look over your project.
You could meet someone who introduces you to key people you only dreamed of meeting one day.
You could meet a writing buddy who becomes an accountability partner.
If you’re considering attending a conference or any kind of writing event for the first time, I hope you find it proves to be a pivotal step in your journey. You never know how a chance encounter in the hallway or a timid hello as you take your seat in the auditorium could be the start of a professional relationship or a literary friendship that changes your life.
Writer’s Conference or Writers’ Conference?
As we dive into what a writers’ conference is and how to choose the right one for you, we have to face two small but fascinating issues. One, believe it or not, is punctuation; the other is labels.
Let's start with punctuation.
You surely think this is overkill, but humor me for a minute.
Sometimes you’ll see an event called a writers’ conference, other times a writer’s conference. Occasionally you might spot a writers conference with no apostrophe. And then a few call their events writing conferences, avoiding the need for an apostrophe altogether.
In most industries, no one would care one bit about this level of detail. -
I stared at a blank screen. Why did I ever think I could pull this off?
Until that moment, I’d only written short projects. Articles, essays, poems.
As I sat staring at the screen, questioning myself in about every way possible, I was supposed to be writing my first book—a manuscript of over 50,000 words.
Overwhelmed, I sat at the keyboard, frozen.
Sound familiar? Have you felt inspired to write a book you believe will truly help people—even transform them—but you’re not sure you have what it takes?
Well, once upon a time, this writing coach was in the exact same place.
I was staring at the screen, inspired to write a book, but doubting myself: Do I have what it takes to write a book?
Could I Write Something as Big as a Book?
How does an essayist-poet-freelancer embark on the massive task of completing a 55,000-word manuscript?
That question felt unanswerable and I felt inadequate.
This prose-freezing self-doubt was a huge problem, however, because I’d signed a contract. I was obligated to write a book I didn’t think I could write.
First, a Proposal
For a year or so my friends had been urging me to move forward with writing a book after I kept sharing concepts with them in conversations over coffee or during play dates at the park. One after another, they would say, “You should write a book about that!”
I’d laugh it off. “Me? Write a book? Ha!”
“But you’re a writer!” they’d insist.
“I’m a writer of short things. A book is too long, too huge.”
They’d shrug and we’d go back to wiping yogurt off our kids’ faces.
One day I was meeting with my mentor, a writer named Ruth (I had two writing mentors named Ruth—what are the odds!—and this was the Ruth who lived nearby). Nearby Ruth was the author of a book acquired by a publishing house based about three hours north of us.
She offered to introduce me to the editorial team, so I could pitch the idea to them over lunch. She said she’d drive me up there herself! All I had to do was hop in the car, share the project with them, and hand out copies of a book proposal.
It was all arranged.
What a great mentor, right?
I just needed to create the book proposal…which I didn’t have the faintest idea how to put together.
"You can look at mine"
“I need a book proposal? Can’t I just describe the book?”
“They need the book proposal,” Ruth said. “That’s how they do it.”
It’s the same now as it was then, by the way. For nonfiction projects, an author produces a book proposal before landing a book contract with an agent or editor. (Learn more about the process and purpose by watching this webinar.)
Back then, I had no idea what a book proposal looked like. This was pre-Internet, so there were no samples to download or coaches to hire.
“You can look at mine,” Ruth offered. “You can see how it’s laid out and how I described my book. Then you can plug in your book’s details in the same places.”
Can you believe that? My mentor offered to let me see her own book proposal like it was no big deal.
But it was pivotal. Life-changing. Career-forming.
Crafting my First Book Proposal
Hers was the first book proposal I ever saw. I pored over it, following the flow to craft my own. Her subheadings showed me the purpose of each section. Her content gave me ideas for how to phrase the business-y stuff about mine.
Weeks of work went into that document.
I wrote the overview, typed up a bio, and listed famous people I could ask for an endorsement (I didn’t personally know famous people, but at that point in my life I knew people who knew people, so I added names with an explanation of each friend-of-a-friend connection).
Then I got to the meat of the proposal:
The Table of Contents.
The chapter summaries.
This took time, because I was essentially writing the book without writing the book, and if you recall, I’d never written a book before so I had no idea what I was doing. -
"Never go to bed until you have a story to tell," says Kevin Lynch, Creative Director at Oatly. I heard him interviewed on a podcast and stopped jogging to write down what he said about that daily story:
It could be a deep thing that you learned, it could be a movie that you saw, it could be a way you took home, it could be a conversation that you had…it could be anything.”1
Indeed, we can live a “storied life” without a celebrity-level lifestyle full of famous people and fabulous soirees. We’re living “story-worthy” moments each day—we simply need to notice them…and capture them.
Every day we have understated interactions and flashes of insight that create meaning. In fact, simpler, subtler, more relatable stories can captivate readers far better than wild escapades that don’t show any change.
These daily stories serve as fodder for our work, weaving into what we write as anecdotes, illustrations. Sometimes they serve as the narrative spine of a full-length project.
Thus, the more stories, the better—as Kevin Lynch observed in that interview, capturing a story each day gives us 365 stories every single year.
To start your story collection today, try these three ways to ensure you have a story to tell by the time your head hits the pillow tonight:
Reflect to discern your "story-worthy” moment from the day
Create a story worth telling before closing your eyes for the night
Gather memories that come to mind and use those as story prompts
1. Reflect on the Day to Discern Your “Story-Worthy” Moment
In his TEDx Talk, on his podcast, in his book Storyworthy, and at his blog, storyteller Matthew Dicks invites every person, not just writers, to document their “most story-like moment from the day” for what he calls Homework for Life™.
He takes five minutes at the end of each day and thinks back: What made this day different from all the rest?2
The idea is so simple. He writes a sentence or two—sometimes just a string of words—and later, when he has time to write it out in full, he’s got what he needs to bring back that memory from that day: the moment he chose to document.
With his Homework for Life™, we note the small discoveries, the daily surprises, those meaningful moments we don’t want to lose. In other words, these daily stories don’t need to be earth-shattering events. They can be quiet, understated internal shifts.
He keeps his in a spreadsheet, making it easy to search keywords and find connections and themes from year to year.3
Begin this process, and you’ll be transformed by seeing how ephemeral interactions, observations, and moments are actually filled with meaning…that a day that seems like any other day is packed with specificity.
We are living stories every single day.
2. Create a story worth telling
The next way to avoid going to bed until you have a story to tell is to create a story.
That’s what Kevin Lynch suggests: “If someone asks, ‘How was your day?’ and you don't have a story to tell them, go create one."4
He continues, "By doing so, it pushes you out of your comfort zone and kind of gets you used to doing a little more experimentation and being vulnerable and putting yourself in vulnerable places or situations."5
What story could you create before bed? Could you...
read a surprising story?
pull off a stunt?
record a silly video with a family member?
send an email to someone famous?
Or maybe the story you plan to tell before going to bed isn’t something that happened on that day—maybe it’s a memory, and that's what you'll create?
If so, this next approach will be worth incorporating into your daily storytelling habit.
3. Gather memories to use as story prompts
During the holidays, as an example, you may string some lights, stir up mugs of cocoa, and next thing you know you’re flooded with memories. Some might be magical childhood Christmas mornings; others might be hard years of loss. -
When I was in college, practicing in public meant sitting under an oak tree on campus, flipping open my spiral-bound notebook, and scratching out a poem as students walked the path beside me.
Creative writing classes gave me another way to practice in public, when my poems were workshopped by my peers.
As a young adult building a freelance writing career, I submitted my work to literary journals and magazines—that was about the only way I could practice in public. Those low-tech days limited how and where we could share our words.
Today, the world has exploded with numerous ways to practice in public—I can share my work with you using tools I couldn’t have dreamed of when I sat under that oak tree on campus. Some of my content goes out through my coaching newsletter, my Substack newsletter called Story Hatchery, social media, and my website.
Tools to Practice in Public
At the click of a button, from the palms of our hands, we can instantly share our work with the world using:
websites
newsletter apps like Substack, Beehiiv, and Ghost
social media platforms like LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook, and Threads
Each time we hit “publish” or “post,” we’re practicing in public.
And each time we turn around and write another piece, we have more experience, more input, and more empowerment to become a better writer.
Benefits for Writers Who Practice in Public
Jeff Goins and others urge us to “practice in public,” because “there is no better way to improve than to put your work out there, sharing it for the whole world to see.”1
Of course there are good reasons to practice in private, but when we look up from the pages of our journal and share ideas with others through tools like newsletters and social media, we find readers. We build our platform. We experiment.
Heavens, there are loads of benefits from practicing in public! Let’s dive in and see why it’s worth it to start…
1. Save Time and Write with Intent
If you write in private more than in public, you’re likely not achieving your goals. Marion Roach Smith argues that writing privately in response to a prompt wastes valuable time—time that could be dedicated to a work in progress. Writing with purpose and sharing it with the public, though, allows you to focus on creating meaningful content. Save time; write with intent, boldly practicing in public.
2. Write Better and Faster: Experiment, Adjust, Improve
When writers learn new literary techniques, it’s fun to experiment with them in a low-stakes setting like LinkedIn or Instagram.
Practicing in public allows for rapid improvement. Similar to that oft-referenced experiment where pottery students rapidly refined their skills by making numerous pots (instead of laboring over a single pot), writers hone their techniques through continual practice and sharing—the more the better!
By sharing your work, you experiment and receive immediate feedback. This iterative process allows you to adjust and improve, refining your craft over time.
Because you’re sharing more often, you find ways to express your ideas more efficiently, making you a faster writer, too. Try time-savers like this:
create platform-specific templates or outlines to copy and use each time you begin—you’ll save time and get started sooner
use dictation to speak drafts into existence (there are so many options for how we can do this on our phones!)
set a timer and freewrite as fast as possible to get a solid draft out
connect with a friend and share your idea with that person in a recorded Zoom session or put your voice recorder on the table if you’re in person—the transcript can be your draft
3. Learn to Write Tight.
Strunk and White said it succinctly: “Omit needless words.”2 Character and word limits of newsletters and social media force us to omit needless words and “write tight.” By keeping our content concise and clear, we practice a core writing skill regularly in short form, -
Dear Writer,
It’s easy to freeze up when we’re writing for the faceless masses or the random reader who happens upon our words.
What do we say to all those people? How can we speak with heart to a total stranger?
Next thing you know, we second-guess our ideas, our prose, our very selves. We fade to beige without saying what we really think, without being specific, without our signature wit and whimsy.
What would that random person who doesn’t even know me think if I crack a joke?
We lose our creativity, our passion, our joy.
We freeze. We get stuck.
We’re afraid to stand out, so we play it safe. We write dull, ordinary prose that could be penned by anyone at all, even ChatGPT.
Unlock Your Creative Voice: Write a Letter to Your Reader
One way to unlock creativity is to write a letter—a letter to your reader.
And not just any nameless, faceless reader but a specific person you actually know.
Dear Anthony…
Dear Paula…
Dear Lissa…
When you think of the kind of person you’re trying to reach with your words, does Lissa fit?
Good.
Now, write her a letter about a question or struggle that she herself has voiced.
Weave in ideas that can help.
Encourage her with a vulnerable story.
Add a little pizzazz that only you can include—after all, she knows you. She’ll grin at your joke and “get” your allusion.
When you’re done, you can send her the note, if you want.
Or you can cross out Lissa’s name and replace it with the type of person you write for:
Dear Weary Homeschool Mom…
Dear New Gardener…
Dear Journaler…
If that feels awkward to publish, cross off the salutation altogether.
Dear Anthony…
Dear Paula…
Dear Lissa…
I’ll bet you can find a great hook in your opening lines, and the letter-writing trick disarmed you enough to write fresh and real and personable.
Writing a Letter to Your Reader Frees Your Natural Voice
From the writer’s perspective, writing a letter to your reader can remove that feeling of writing to the faceless masses and instead invite an easy tone and thoughts that convey empathy and intimacy.
J. Willis Westlake, author of an 1800s book about letter-writing, says:
In other [writing] productions there is the restraint induced by the feeling that a thousand eyes are peering over the writer’s shoulder and scrutinizing every word; while letters are written when the mind is as it were in dressing-gown and slippers — free, natural, active, perfectly at home, and with all the fountains of fancy, wit, and sentiment in full play.1
By tricking your mind into donning its dressing-gown and slippers, you can achieve that “free, natural, active, perfectly at home” tone, style, and voice. Your readers will love reading your “fancy, wit, and sentiment in full play.”
Genuine Letters Contain Our Most Interesting Content
And it’s not just our style, tone, and voice that letters unleash; it’s also the content itself.
Westlake continues, “Though written, as all genuine letters are, for the private eye of one or two familiar friends, and without any thought of their publication, they nevertheless often form the most interesting and imperishable of an author’s productions.”2
In other words, these letters contain our “most interesting and imperishable” ideas. So why not write them as letters first?
Discover Epistolary Writing
This letter-writing format is labeled “epistolary” writing. And the epistolary approach is used more widely in published work than you might be thinking. For example, advice columns.
Advice Columns
Advice columns like the classic “Dear Abby” and more recent “Dear Sugar” dished out empathetic responses that addressed specific needs that were sent in from readers.
The writer connected directly with the recipient who asked the initial question and with every reader who “listened in.”
Epistolary Nonfiction Books
Then there are nonfiction epistolary books, -
Let’s look at the pros and cons of using writing prompts to decide if we’re fostering creativity or frittering away time.
I remember the pleasure of writing about ladybugs for my high school freshman English class based on the prompt written on the board.1
And then there was the book I found a year or so at the library: Write to Discover Yourself. The author suggested we “portrait” the important people in our lives.2 I wrote pages and pages about my dad based on that prompt.
Prompts continued to play a big role in my creative writing journey when college professors supplied our class with poetry prompts.
Those prompts did exactly what they were designed for: they sparked creativity, teased out long-buried memories, and helped me spin creative storylines I would never have imagined on my own. Prompts have so effectively opened me up, I decided to gather a collection for others to use called 52 Creative Writing Prompts, to help get pens moving and ideas flowing.
Do Prompts Distract or Delight?
But am I doing a disservice? Are prompts mere distractions, diverting writers from purposeful, goal-oriented writing?
Some argue we need to stop using prompts and only write toward public-facing projects. Why waste time on writing prompts that fill notebooks and journal pages, when we’re struggling to find time for the writing we claim we want to do? Why write in response to a random prompt instead of composing the essay we want to submit, the book we want to draft, the article we want to pitch?
Let’s peek at arguments for both sides, the pros and cons of prompts, to see if we need to embrace or abandon them in our creative writing life.
Pros of Creative Writing Prompts:
On the plus side we have benefits of creative writing prompts, such as how they:
1. Spark Fresh Ideas
Creative writing prompts inspire writers who struggle to generate any ideas at all by giving them an energizing starting point. Prompts also spark fresh ideas in writers who tend to return again and again to topics they’ve written about before. Prompts press writers to explore subject matter outside their comfort zone, breathing new life into their rotating collection of pet topics and pillar content.
2. Overcome Writer's Block
Prompts offer a lifeline to writers grappling with writer's block—they invite a “stuck” writer to write freely for ten, 15, or 20 minutes without those words needing a destination or purpose other than to get the ink flowing.
3. Provide Low-Stakes Practice
Writing prompts intended as practice serve as low-stakes exercises, encouraging writers to play and experiment without the pressure of immediate evaluation by editors or readers. Prompts allow writers to refine their craft and explore techniques in the safety of their writing notebooks and journals. In time they may develop a more captivating style.
4. Prepare for Assignments
Freelancers who’ve been assigned a topic for a magazine or essayists who have entered themed writing contests benefit from writing from prompts. It’ll prepare them for assignments based on narrow parameters.
5. Offer a Writing Warm-up
When writers tap out a few words in response to a prompt before diving into their long-form/high-stakes project, they can enjoy a brief warm-up that loosens them up.
6. Enhance Honesty and Depth
With prompts, writers delve into deeper personal experiences, memories, emotions, and themes without fear of judgment, leading to more honest and profound writing.
7. Lead to Personal Growth and Healing
When intentionally selecting prompts that invite reflection—maybe even under the direction of a therapist—writers can experience transformation through personal growth and healing. It’s no surprise that when we spend time in personal writing such as journaling, we grow and mature as people, which in turn makes us better writers.
Cons of Creative Writing Prompts:
To be fair, -
Children gaze at a vast blank wall and see opportunity—inspired, they grab a permanent marker and scrawl across the surface in loopy circles and jaggedy lines without hesitation.
Why, then, do we adults stare at the blank page—not unlike a blank wall—and freeze up? Instead of scribbling out ideas that fill the white screen, we writers often come up empty, the blank page producing a blank mind.
We get too far ahead of ourselves, thinking about readers before we’ve written a single word, afraid of what they’ll think. Or we second-guess our ideas or skills. We worry about that and more, and next thing you know…we stop writing and stare at that blinding white abyss, paralyzed.
The blank page need not intimidate or cripple us. Why? Because with the ideas below, you can fill that great expanse with words so that it’s never really blank when you open it.
Try one of them the next time you open a document and feel fear trickling down to your fingertips. I hope they’ll free you up long before you freeze and you’ll replace fear with joy by effortlessly filling the page with words.
1. Templates
Create templates for your content, whether it's a newsletter, blog post, or podcast. By inserting the structural elements you tend to use each time, you approach the page with a sense of familiarity. Templates serve as a framework to jumpstart your writing process, making the page feel less daunting.
2. Outlines
Embrace the power of outlines. The classic 5-paragraph essay structure you learned long ago—with an introduction, three main points, and conclusion—is a reliable starting point for informative articles. For more creative pieces, try narrative outlines with a three-act structure (even if it’s short) or a beginning, middle, end approach. Outlines help you organize your thoughts and create a roadmap for your writing, banishing the fear of the blank page. See the links below for ready-made outlines you can use to add structure to your document.
3. Record Yourself & Transcribe
Take a walk and record your thoughts about the topic you want to write about. Then, get a transcription made of that recording and paste it in—you’ve eliminated the blank page altogether. It's as if you're simply editing and expanding on (and refining) your existing thoughts, which is far less intimidating than starting from scratch with nothing but a blank page and blinking cursor.
4. Record a Conversation & Transcribe
Meet with a friend on a virtual platform like Zoom, click the record button, and explain your idea. As your friend engages with questions, you’ll be able to clarify and delve deeper. This approach captures your natural voice as you share what you’ve been researching and thinking about. Thank your friend, download the audio, and then use a program like Happy Scribe or Rev.com’s AI transcription service to transcribe the conversation. You’ll end up with a working draft for your writing project. TIP: more and more free AI transcription services are cropping up, so be sure to search for the latest options and you might not even have to pay.
5. Pull from Your Journal
If you've been jotting down ideas, thoughts, or snippets of writing in a journal or a similar document, don't let them go to waste. Pull something from there and paste it into your current document to kickstart your writing. Things like Morning Pages, Dream Journals, and freewriting can be sources of inspiration.
6. List Bullet Points
Before you even have a minute to think about the blank page, start writing your ideas in the form of bullet points—they don’t have to be complete thoughts or sentences. No more blank page! And you’ll have prompts you can use to draft your content. You can expand on each bullet point to develop your ideas further, gradually filling the blank page with meaningful content. Move them around until you find the ideal flow and structure. Problem solved.
7. AI Writing Apps -
When I was visiting my grandmother one summer afternoon, she pulled out a letter I sent her.
"This is good," she said.
"Really?"
She pointed at the paragraphs and said the ideas were well organized, my writing flowed well, and I included lots of details. "It was interesting to read," she said.
Then she looked up at me and smiled. "Maybe we have another writer in the family?”
Did I gasp? Her words certainly sent a jolt through me. Did she know how badly I wanted to write? Could she have known how much I yearned to be a writer?
Surely the thought of me as a writer seemed far-fetched to her. After all, my mother was a seasoned editor and columnist, endowed with innate writing talents—Grandma saw her earn accolades in college and as a career journalist.
My father was an editor at a prominent metropolitan newspaper, shaping stories, crafting headlines, and curating front-page content.
Even my brother, a skilled wordsmith, showed promise as a creative writer, eventually becoming an award-winning copywriter for ad campaigns.
And then there was me—Grandma knew her granddaughter was a sprinter on the track team, a clarinetist in the band, and a dedicated student earning good grades. Yet, no one, myself included, saw me as a writer...well, I helped put the school newspaper together, but I was hardly an ace reporter.
Yet here she was, encouraging me to write, cheering me on.
During that brief exchange when pointing out the strengths of my letter, Grandma kindled a spark of hope within me.
External Validation Bolsters Us
While external validation shouldn't dictate our writing journey, it bolsters us when we face the inevitable resistance that hits us from within and without. Her words reverberated in my head (and my heart) for years, counteracting doubts that crept in, giving me courage to push past obstacles and move toward a future with words.
Around that time, my best friend in high school praised the short story I wrote: "The Medallion of Kilimanjaro." Her sincere reaction made me believe I could tell a captivating story.
A few years later, my college boyfriend nudged me to enroll in creative writing at our university—his vote of confidence aligned with Grandma's earlier endorsement, solidifying my self-perception as a writer.
In one of those creative writing classes, a poetry professor urged me to submit my work to the undergraduate journal. Armed with her belief in my potential, I sent in three. The outcome exceeded my expectations—each of the three submissions was accepted for publication, and one poem secured a prize.
I could continue to list even more people who added to that chorus of encouragement, bolstering my confidence. Editors, friends, team leaders, mentors. With their voices cheering me on, I took risks. With their affirmations in my head and heart, I pursued a writing career—I built a writing life.
Who Cheered You on as a Writer?
Who cheered you on throughout your writing journey? Who pointed out your potential and steered you toward a life of words?Whose voices gave you confidence?
Was it a mentor, teacher, peer, editor, friend, or coach?
If they never voiced their thoughts, would you have given up?
Make a list of the people who offered you encouragement to pursue this path. If possible, track some of them down and thank them.
Perhaps you could mail them a letter?
After that...cheer on another writer. Encourage them as they face obstacles on the path to achieving their writing goals.
When you do, you'll be one of the powerful voices adding to the chorus of those who give them confidence to stick with it—to pursue writing and build a writing life.
Resources:
My Writing Life Beginnings, Pt 1
My Writing Life Beginnings, Pt 2
Writers: Never, Never, Never Give Up
5 Writing Strengths -
Just as musicians credit their musical influences, writers, too, have literary inspirations who help them discover and shape their unique voice.
At a White House event for poets in 2011, Billy Collins said to students about finding your voice:
You’re searching for the poets who make you jealous...you're looking to get influenced by people who make you furiously jealous…And then copy them.1
Billy himself was influenced by the work of Wallace Stevens—I suppose he would say he was furiously jealous of him.
Anne Lamott's Seemingly Effortless Prose
Author Shauna Niequist openly mentions the influence of Anne Lamott on her work.
The first time I read Anne Lamott, I thought, “Is this allowed? People can write like this and it gets published?”
I laughed at her sometimes-crass and often sarcastic style. She opened the door to a whole new way of writing, with honesty and sass. While hers was not exactly my style, I admired the conversational tone—the seemingly stream-of-consciousness flow of ideas—that, upon close examination, were carefully crafted.
That skill to make her work seem like it effortlessly spilled onto the page but was actually carefully constructed?
That made me furiously jealous.
Annie Dillard's Literary Craftsmanship
My friend and co-author Charity Singleton Craig has mentioned Annie Dillard's impact on her. She frequently quotes her and I sense hints of that literary genius in my friend, as well as in Dillard.
I read Annie Dillard in my early 20s and wondered, “What is this?” I liked it, but I didn’t “get it.” I didn’t understand what she was doing.
But I saw that she stitched her work together with precision using the tools of a literary craftsman. And that, I admired.
That made me furiously jealous.
Madeleine L'Engle's Bridges of Trust, Love, and Hope
As a child, I read Madeleine L’Engle’s A Wrinkle in Time. Whether I voiced it or not, I know I wondered, “How did she do that?”
At that time I didn’t want to write in that style or genre, but she led us to trust, love, and hope through the delight of quirky characters. I was thrilled how intimately she connected with her reader—with me. I was grateful at the time.
Now, as an adult who writes, I’m furiously jealous. I want to create bridges of trust, love, and hope, as well.
Scott Russell Sanders' Unpretentious Midwestern Truth
Charity and I attended a lecture by Scott Russell Sanders. In my notebook, I scribbled notes. Then I leaned back and listened. Finally, I wrote, “I want to write like that” on the page of my notebook. I tilted the page toward Charity to show it to her. She nodded.
She could see I was furiously jealous.
He writes about the Midwest, where I’m from, so I’m always impressed with how he brings it to life. His work connects with me in the familiar references of trees and rivers and birds. He names them and I know them.
He makes creative choices seem less mysterious than Dillard and more accessible. He’s conversational in some ways but not curmudgeonly like Anne Lamott. When I read him, I think, “Hey, I could try that.”
He’ll tell stories, create scenes, and introduce a theme, a phrase, a word. He presses in, gently, a little more—labyrinthine at times and progressively, sequentially, other times.
I want to write like that.
He’s unpretentious. I can tell that the ideas and stories he shares on the page are true. When I met him at that event with Charity, it was clear: he is who he seems to be on the page.
That’s who I am and want to be, too, in my writing.
In life.
Unpretentious.
I want to be like that.
What Writers Make You Furiously Jealous?
When you say about a writer or author “I want to write like that,” that’s a creative influence.
When a writer’s work makes you furiously jealous, that’s a creative influence.
When you think, “Hey, I could try that!” that’s a creative influence.
Make a list of all the people whose work makes you furiousl... -
On a sunny spring day, I sat with seven homeschoolers on a stretch of grass for a creative writing session. The older kids started to fidget before we even started.
"What are we doing out here?"
"We’re going to see what’s around us."
A fifth grader pointed with his pen. "I see sky, clouds, cars, building. Done." The others laughed.
"We’re going to be quiet and listen, too," I added.
"I hear birds. Done." More chuckles.
"Before we write," I began, "Let’s look at the sky. What color is it?"
Someone said blue.
"What kind of blue? There are so many blues. Is it dark blue like these navy pants? Or is it blue like turquoise? Or is it the kind of blue you want to swim in? Or the color of your mom’s eyes?"
They looked up. "Write down phrases that describe this particular blue at this particular moment of this particular day. Compare it to other things that are blue."
They studied the sky, and one by one, each started writing.
"What else do you see—you mentioned clouds. What kind of clouds? Puffy white cumulus clouds or light and filmy cirrus clouds?"
Group Your Senses
We continued exploring multi-sensory details. They grouped their ideas by sense, so each stanza of the poem they were going to write began:
I see…
I hear…
I smell…
I touch...
I taste...
This simple "senses" poem isn't just for kids. You could try sensory writing, too.
Sensory Writing Practice
Slow down and tune into the space around you, ideally outdoors.
Look, listen, inhale deeply.
What do you notice at this particular moment of this particular day? Write down keywords and adjectives.
Capture images and sounds.
What smells do you breathe in?
Compare those details to something else. You'll be crafting metaphors with nouns and more seemingly unrelated nouns that end up enhancing meaning.
Touch different textures.
Taste something—well, taste what's appropriate (don't eat anything poisonous)!
As you capture the particulars, you'll realize that this moment is one-of-a-kind, and you're writing about it using all your senses, as those kids did.
Pull Your Senses Together
When you realize the poem is coming together, group the sensory details you've described to form those stanzas:
I see…
I hear…
I smell…
I touch...
I taste...
Rearrange as needed, of course.
Write an opening line if you like. Maybe two.
Write a closing line if you like. Maybe two. Maybe three.
Read it aloud.
Sensory Writing for Life
You've preserved in multi-sensory detail a moment of your wild and precious life.
And you've practiced a skill you can use in all your writing to bring your stories and scenes to life for your reader with this multi-sensory detail.
Years ago I attended a writing workshop and the leader referenced Flannery O’Connor, paraphrasing a section of “The Nature and Aim of Fiction” from Mystery and Manners: Occasional Prose:
A lady who writes, and whom I admire very much, wrote me that she had learned from Flaubert that it takes at least three activated sensuous strokes to make an object real; and she believes that this is connected with our having five senses. If you’re deprived of any of them, you’re in a bad way, but if you’re deprived of more than two at once, you almost aren’t present. (Emphasis mine, 69)
The workshop leader held up an imaginary artist's brush and said, "One, two, three...and you're done!"
Include in your poetry and prose—fiction or nonfiction—at least three sensory details and your reader will be in the scene with you.
Read It Aloud and Applaud
Right there in the grass on that day with the homeschooled kids, they arranged their poems, scribbling into spiral notebooks balanced on bony knees.
When we brought them back inside, each child read their poem aloud for the other mom, who had stayed inside while we wrote. We applauded after each poem.
One of them read a simple series of images and metaph... -
Jennifer Dukes Lee invites you to transform into a better writer through “beautifully ruthless self-discovery.”
It starts in the pages of your journal.
In a recent interview, she delves into the therapeutic benefits of daily gratitude journaling and its potential to rewire our brains. By writing down things we’re grateful for, our minds seek out the positive.
Jennifer recommends guided journals when we're stymied by writer's block. The blank page of a traditional journal can overwhelm us. What should we say? Where should we start?
Guided journals aren't blank pages—they provide prompts and structure when you’re stuck or unsure of what to write.
She stresses that journaling serves as a valuable tool for self-discovery and creative expression. When you use journaling to explore your experiences, memories, and struggles, you can weave your discoveries into your writing. This deep dive into the human condition adds depth and authenticity to all our writing: poetry, creative nonfiction, online writing, and fiction.
Jennifer introduces questions from her guided journal: some profound, some silly. Either way, they open you up and lead to deeper self-knowledge.
Some of your journal entries will be personal and remain private, just as her recent book title suggests: Stuff I’d Only Tell God.
Other entries you could share with a family member or friend, creating deeper connections through your vulnerability.
You’ll see how journaling unleashes your creative potential and invites you to be more open, leaving a lasting impact on yourself, your closest relationships, and your readers.
Listen in on our discussion—and start journaling—to become a more authentic and impactful writer.
Meet Jennifer Dukes Lee
Jennifer Dukes Lee is a bestselling author, thinker, and question-asker from Iowa. Her friends say they're scared to sit alone in a room with her because they end up telling her things they never intended to say. She is both proud of this fact and also a little annoyed at how nosy she can be.
She put a bunch of her favorite questions into a journal called Stuff I’d Only Tell God. It’s like your own little confession booth.
She’s also the author of Growing Slow and It’s All Under Control.
Subscribe to her newsletter Top Ten with Jen to get the inside scoop on stuff that is blowing her mind, encouraging her heart, and refreshing her soul (subscribe and you'll also get immediate access to free resources): https://jenniferdukeslee.com/subscribe/
Connect with Jennifer:
Learn more at jenniferdukeslee.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JenniferDukesLee
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jenniferdukeslee/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jenniferdukeslee
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/dukeslee/
Subscribe to Top Ten with Jen: https://jenniferdukeslee.com/subscribe/
https://youtu.be/cHOo61S9W4s
Time Stamps
The whole interview is packed with inspiration and ideas, but perhaps these time stamps help you navigate to places in our discussion that may seem more interesting.
5:29 Courageous honesty leads to self-discovery.7:21 Journaling and memory keeping.8:53 Journaling is essential for writing.11:23 Gratitude journaling and its impact.14:48 Journaling can inspire and inform.15:01 Inspiration from journaling.16:27 Outline and plan your writing.19:06 The short form writing process.22:03 Journaling preserves memories and emotions.24:09 Capturing memories through journaling.26:33 Journaling sparks creative self-discovery.29:08 Writing about interesting moments.29:35 Birds and dreaming.31:38 Trust the spark, capture it.35:56 Treating journals with different purposes.37:48 Social media and storytelling.41:33 Battle with depression and anxiety.
Transcript
(Transcripts are reviewed and lightly edited.)
Ann Kroeker I'm Ann Kroeker, writing coach. If you're tuning in for the first time, welcome! If you're a regular, welcome back. -
During the early years of parenthood, I wasted a lot of time feeling sorry for myself.
Why can't I have my own dedicated writing space? Why can't I have blocks of uninterrupted time?
The overwhelming demands of being a stay-at-home mom almost shut down my creativity. In time, thank heavens, I stopped griping and started looking for solutions.
My idea? Instead of waiting for the perfect conditions, I snatched time.
No Time to Write? Snatch Every Opportunity
I wrote when the kids were napping.
I wrote late at night.
I wrote when they were engrossed in a movie.
I squeezed writing into the tiny openings in my days.
Sometimes I only had five minutes, but I wrote.
By making the most of a few free moments here and there, I kept my writing identity alive.
Contain the Creativity
This spontaneous approach made for a messy writing life, however.
I left a trail of pens throughout the house. I scratched fleeting phrases onto the backs of envelopes. I scribbled a line of poetry onto a Wendy's receipt and shoved it into our minivan's cup holders.
If I could go back, I would organize my writing ideas in one central container. I needed a master notebook for all those scraps, or a notes app on my phone to tap out those ideas.
That would have been smart. I have no idea where that Wendy's receipt ended up, so that lyrical line is lost forever.
Please learn from my mistake and find an official container for your work.
Creative Container Ideas
How you corral and contain your ideas is totally up to you—there’s no single approach for every writer. I recommend you decide on something you can carry with you all the time.
For example, a simple manila envelope you stuff into an oversized bag that goes with you everywhere could contain all your scraps of paper if you scribble on whatever’s nearby. An accordion file or a 3-ring binder with folders and dividers snapped into it are more organized versions of that.
If you’re more suited to digital options, you can use any number of apps for iOs or Android. For example, in this interview, Bryan Collins of Become a Writer Today talks about how he uses Day One, a journaling app, for all of his writing notes, as well.
Seize Tiny Moments
Despite the mess, I realized a way forward in the midst of motherhood with no time to write: I seized tiny moments.
I learned that a single sentence or well-crafted phrase composed in five minutes could lay the foundation for a future manuscript.
As a result, I made solid progress on project after project. I built a respectable portfolio that led to a respectable freelance writing career.
Time and opportunities opened up as my kids grew more independent. I wrote books, joined writing communities, worked as an editor, and, as you know, established a coaching business.
All of that was possible because I made the most of five minutes here and five minutes there.
That approach helped my “writing self” survive those early childrearing years and, in 2014, four years of extreme eldercare chaos. Thankfully, expectations have eased up, and my current life stage permits me blocks of time to write, but you know what? I still try to seize every opportunity.
To this day, I write during those tiny moments that free up—it keeps me on track toward achieving my writing goals.
If you don't already, I hope you try it yourself next time you feel you have no time to write:
Write whenever and wherever you can...for as long as you can.
Enough Stolen Sentences and a Book Is Born
In her book The Right to Write, Julia Cameron says:
The ‘if-I-had-time’ lie is a convenient way to ignore the fact that novels require being written and that writing happens a sentence at a time. Sentences can happen in a moment. Enough stolen moments, enough stolen sentences, and a novel is born–without the luxury of time…Yes, it is daunting to think of finding time to write an entire novel, -
Nearly everyone who writes personal stories in any form has agonized over how much to share.
Will writing about an issue from childhood break Mom's heart?
Should I change the name of a high school teacher? The next-door neighbor? The dog? The children?
Are the hyacinths blooming by the mailbox worth mentioning?
We write.
We worry.
Is this naval gazing or vulnerability?
Will people feel I'm airing the dirty laundry or sharing my own struggles so others might find healing?
https://youtu.be/bzd7a8J4UXc
Stories Bring YOU into Your Writing
But...stories!
Goodness, stories set your projects apart from all other essays, articles, and books, because only you had that encounter, that experience, that struggle, that transformation.
When you make a claim and support it with your own life story, no one else could have written that piece.
Stories create connection between reader and writer.
Stories convey universal truths through specific situations.
You don't have to share your darkest eras or most embarrassing moments to offer transformative stories to readers.
You don't have to bare all to be a generous and effective storyteller.
You get to choose what to share with the public on a blog or in an article...and you get to choose what will live only in a journal, shoved under your mattress.
Our Three Lives
A few years ago, I found a quote from author Gabriel García Márquez, suggesting we have three lives:
A Public life
A Private life
A Secret life
A Newsweek article writes:
About [Márquez's] own romantic passions, though, the author remained tight-lipped. He told his biographer Gerald Martin "with the expression on his face of an undertaker determinedly closing a coffin lid back down, that 'everyone has three lives: a public life, a private life and a secret life'." When Martin asked if Márquez might give him access into the latter, he replied: "No, never."1
Kenneth Samples at Reasons to Believe describes these three lives:
A Public Life: This is the side of themselves that people present at work, church, civic arenas, and other public contexts. This is how people are generally seen in their daily life outside the home.
A Private Life: This is the side of life that people share with family and close friends. Only a person’s inner circle...gets to see this “version.”
A Secret Life: This is the side of life known only to an individual. In can include one’s private thoughts and secret actions. People may be aware of their secret life, but that is not always the case. The reality of the secret life may be unknown even to the individual person himself for all of us have blind spots that stand in the way of true self-realization2
As writers, we are in control. Like Márquez, we get to choose the stories that will be part of the essay, the memoir, the interview—the public self.
And we get to choose the stories that will never be told—that will remain part of our secret life.
Isn't that freeing? You get to write, and you get to choose.
My Stories — Our Stories
My primary newsletter is my coaching newsletter. It's how I show up in your inbox to support your writing goals and encourage you on your writing journey. I share as much as possible to help you make progress.
You may have noticed I share very few personal stories. I guess I default to keeping a lot of my life out of the public eye.
To explore that, I decided to launch a side project on Substack that I'm calling Story Hatchery.
The premise?
We can outwit AI and learn more about ourselves by capturing and crafting our stories. We need a safe place to do that, a haven for storytelling.
That's Story Hatchery.
I'll be writing my own stories, using prompts I'll share with you.
You'll get a peek at my writing process, including drafts leading up to a final version.
I'll pass along storytelling wisdom from people who inspire me. -
As writers, we spend countless hours crafting and refining our work to perfection. We labor over word choices, sentence structure, and the perfect flow.
Despite our best efforts—even after a pass through Grammarly—typos slip through. We tend to spot them in other people's projects, even if we miss them in our own.
How do you react when you spot a typo in someone else's writing? Do you assume they're unprofessional and lose faith in them?
Or do you extend grace and understand that mistakes happen?
Automatic Unsubscribe
One time I spoke with a professional in the creative space who said if she sees a typo, it’s an automatic unsubscribe.
"Seriously?” I exclaimed. “You don't even give them three strikes?"
"No, that's it. I unsubscribe on the spot."
I strive toward excellence and aim for perfect prose, but if I'm in a hurry or make a last-minute change, I miss details. I'm sure you've noticed them in blog posts and emails.
"Well,” I told her, “I suppose you aren't on my list, because I send out notes with errors sometimes."
She shrugged. That's her rule and she stands by it.
Part of me respected the high standard she set.
The other part of me craved grace for my shortcomings.
Typos Are Human
As I said, even the most meticulous writers miss typos from time to time. In my rush to click "publish," I'll skip a step in the writing and editing process.
For example, I try to allow time to run my emails and blog posts through Grammarly. Then I look at the clock and realize I'm out of time, and I trust my eye to catch any issues.
Sure enough: those are the days a typo slips through.
As a writer striving to produce polished writing, I need to establish a process that slows me down long enough to follow through.
As a reader spotting typos in other people's work, I hope to offer the same grace I long for from others who spot my mistakes.
One of my online friends is a proofreader, and her discerning eye caught errors on my Everything page. Instead of instantly unsubscribing and unfollowing me, she reached out with a gentle tone and kindly listed each one—it was a gift! She understood that typos are human. Better yet, she offered her expertise to make my work stronger.
Consider the Context
When it comes to typos, context matters. Typos in a casual email or social media post aren't as concerning as typos in a published article or book.
And please don't judge my writing ability when we're texting. Between autocorrect and fat fingers, my messages are a mess!
One Last Look
Writing to family and friends is one thing; writing for the public is another. We can take steps to catch embarrassing blips before they're released to the world wide web.
Proofreading is crucial to the writing process and ensures polished work.
The first place to notice issues is when you're writing. Microsoft Word, Apple Pages, and Google Docs all track grammar and spelling issues with squiggly lines.
After revisiting what they've marked and making any changes, you can run your final draft through a program like:
Grammarly
ProWritingAid
Hemingwayapp.com
Then read it aloud. Vocalizing each word will catch problems that our mind skips over when reading silently.
For high-stakes projects—queries, pitches, book proposals, manuscripts—consider hiring a human editor and proofreader.
Practice Gracious Typo Spotting
Not every project warrants that much attention. But relying on self-editing means some of our work will miss a letter, word, or phrase. We'll use "it's" where we should have used "its" or "your" instead of "you're."
Unless you're asked to edit or proofread someone's work, overlook their misspellings or misplaced modifiers. Feel pleased you recognized the error—after all, it means you're developing an editor's eye and ear. But when we approach typos with grace, we connect with other writers as human beings.
Maybe—maybe—if we know the person well, -
Years ago, one of my clients updated me on her publishing journey. She turned in her manuscript on deadline, so that was a huge relief.Then her editor asked for one last piece she'd put off."Ann, it took me two full weeks to track down everything for my endnotes. Two weeks!"This first-time author knew the editor would ask for endnotes, but she had not kept track of them as she wrote.Putting Off the InevitableWhen words were flowing—forming chapters, shaping ideas—she didn't want to lose momentum fiddling around with citations. So she decided to focus solely on the writing, trusting those endnotes would be easy to put together later.After all, most of the books she mentioned in her text were stacked next to her, ready to access after submitting her manuscript. She could find the direct quotes online again in a few clicks, right?"Please, Ann," she said, "I'm begging you to tell all your clients to document their sources along the way. Waiting until the end was a nightmare."Save Time & HeadachesI've tried to convince the authors I coach to do just that: document all sources along the way.More specifically, I recommend they create a citation at the moment they mention it in their draft. Or at the latest, create it before stepping away from that writing session. You think you'll come back to it the next morning, but it's easy to push it off until later...and later...and later.Then your editor calls and you have to pull them together to submit a few days later.Citations Are a PainIt's a pain to track these bits of information.Author Joanna Russ writes, "I once asked a young dissertation writer whether her suddenly grayed hair was due to ill-health or personal tragedy; she answered It was the footnotes" (Russ, 137).It's tempting for authors to think of citations as a necessary evil, aging us, plaguing us.Citations Are a GiftBut in reality they're a gift to our readers. They can dig deeper into the topic we introduce by visiting the websites, books, and podcasts we mention.Citations are also a gift to us.Heaven knows we want to avoid accusations of plagiarism, adhere to copyright laws, and make good faith efforts to track down the origin of a quote or statistic.I'm not a lawyer and can't give legal advice, but giving credit where credit is due is a step in the right direction.A good start is to include attribution for:direct quotesparaphrased quotessummarized ideas & info that aren't common knowledgeparaphrased ideas & info that aren't common knowledgeany idea, statistic, framework, or content you didn't develop yourselfCreate citations for any source: physical books, Kindle books, websites, interviews, podcasts, seminars, conferences, and more.In doing so, you demonstrate you're joining—even contributing to—the broader conversation on this topic.Is Blog Post and Social Media Citation Overkill?You may associate footnotes and endnotes with books and scholarly writing, but I hope you'll join me in citing sources in your digital writing, as well: in blog posts, articles—even social media posts.In years past, bloggers have generally taken a simpler approach, relying on linked text to credit sources. This minimized reader disruption and saved time.Parenthetical citation or cumbersome in-text mentions with signal text slow the flow. You can see an example where I wrote "Author Joanna Russ writes..."That phrasing signaled a source. Did it slow you down? Did it bother you?Bloggers have generally viewed that style as clunky. Footnoting blog posts seemed over the top.Vowing to Start FootnotingI myself used to think it was over the top. In the early days of blogging no one else was adding footnotes, so I didn't bother.Until 2012, when I taught high school students a session about plagiarism. The more I prepared for the session, the more I realized I wasn't following citation best practic...
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Consider a lowly stick, memorialized by my friend:
Little Y StickFragile, knobby crossroads in my fingersBring me eyes to see how God is in my midst.1
Jennifer Dukes Lee penned that poem after we chatted about a prompt found in poemcrazy, by Susan Goldsmith Wooldridge.
Poemcrazy's Prompt
In Chapter 31, Susan instructs us to find something in nature that attracts our attention. Maybe the object has a quality that we're attracted to, or maybe it's just speaking to us in some way.2
Jennifer pondered the little Y stick and used Susan's prompt to craft that small poem.
I decided to try Susan's prompt myself.
Following Susan's instructions, I found objects in the yard that attracted my attention. One was a pinecone.
1. Name it
First, we name it. Name it by its actual name, like a pine cone, or make up a name, like "tree cigar."
Susan says you could call a mushroom "white sticky," for example, or "plump cloud." Or you could use its actual name, "mushroom."3
2. Describe it
Next, describe some of its qualities using descriptive language or by comparing it with something else.
3. "Bring me your..."
Finally, you have a line that starts, "Bring me your…" and finish with a quality that this item has.4
As with any creative venture or poem, you get to make it your own. You can leave off the "bring me" part or expand on its name or its description.
Here's an example in Susan's book from a seventh grader:
Dead rose,crinkly as paper,bring me love.5
This exercise taps attentiveness and imagination to make connections and explore our yearnings.
Sample Poems
Let's look at Susan's example using a mushroom:
Honey mushroomfloating in grass like a plump cloud,bring me your love of dark places.6
After spending time with the object, the final template is:
Name (real or made up)
"You look like…" (feel free to drop "you look like" and creatively describe it)
"Bring me…" or "Bring me your…"
Now that you know the template, look at Jennifer's again:
Little Y StickFragile, knobby crossroads in my fingersBring me eyes to see how God is in my midst.
Let's Try the Prompt
In my yard, we have to deal with the seeds of two Sweetgum trees—long-stemmed spiky orbs.
Approximately five million of these "Sweetgum balls," as we call them, coat our front yard year round. You could spend hours filling three giant trash bins only to look up and see a thousand more dangling from the branches above, poised to drop during the next thunderstorm that blows through.
Despite the trouble they cause me, I spent time with one of them, staying open to what it might offer me:
Spiky orb, one of hundreds, maybe thousands,fragile, persistent, overwhelming:bring me your abundance.
We also deal with an outrageous number of pinecones that fall from two fir trees.
I found a pinecone that was still closed, which happens when it's cold outside. As the temperature heats up, the pinecone opens to release its seeds.
Smooth pine cone, waiting to warm, waiting to share yourself—hatches shut tight against the cold,protecting yourself, soon to unlatch—bring me your care and caution,knowing the time to stay guarded and safe,and knowing the time to open oneself,to be fully seen.
Try this prompt yourself and share your poem with me.
I can't wait to read what you come up with.
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Footnotes:
Dukes Lee, Jennifer. Prayer labyrinth story with a Y stick image and poem. Instagram, 17 Mar. 2023. https://www.instagram. - Mostrar mais
