Episódios
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We're closing up the Halloween season with a slightly belated spooky movie: This week we're taking a look at Beastly, a modern take on the classic Beauty and the Beast tale. Beastly is no doubt someone's specific cup of tea, but it's certainly not ours (I guess that means we "Don't embrace the suck?"). Come and join us as we discuss among other things unlikeable protagonists, our own high school experiences, and the classic Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen bop "Gimme Pizza".
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The podcast has finally awakened from our long summer slumber and we're doing a bit of catch up by taking a look at the movie Kristi selected to celebrate her birthday... which is not a Princess movie by any stretch of the imagination, but were it not for this movie teaching Kristi that bad movies can be incredibly fascinating, there probably wouldn't be a Bad Princess Movie podcast at all! So come and join us as we... well, as we mostly rant about the wild production stories surrounding Foodfight!, but we also talk about tiny plastic surgeons, no name products, and how Wayne Brady deserved so much better than this movie.
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Get ready to sing and stomp some Goblin feet, this week we're taking a look at The Princess and the Goblin. This film is yet another childhood favourite film for me, but Bri's never seen it before so she's on board to keep my nostalgia in check. Come and join us as we discuss among other things goblins Queens and their stone shoes, magical old ladies and the threads they spin, and whether or not Prince Froglip should be put in the running for Tumblr Sexyman. We'll be starting a summer vacation after this episode, see ya'll in the fall for more episodes!
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I thought we were done with the Swan Princess series for a bit, but it turns out the siren song of the first movie was too hard to resist. So we're journeying back 30 years in the past to watch the very first Swan Princess series. How does this film hold up? And more importantly, what juicy Swan Princess lore will we re-discover? Join us as we discuss among other things our childhood nostalgia for this movie, Rothbart being the best villain the series had to offer, and the unexpected surprise of Lorenzo Trudgealong. -
We're celebrating Mer-May the only way we know how, by taking a look at a goofy movie about Mermaid Princesses: Scales: Mermaids are Real. This movie sure the heck tries to make Mermaid puberty seems like a magical thing, while also portraying it as an absolute nightmare (So hey, not too much different than human puberty I suppose?). Come and join us as we discuss among other things mermaid body horror, unnecessary ableist subplots, and how Disney did it better with their Mermaid puberty story, The Thirteenth Year.
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We're finishing off our yearly look at movies featuring Prince characters with The Prince and the Surfer, a movie that dares to ask the question "What if Mark Twain was writing for a 90s audience?". This is yet another movie where there was potential to make a decent little family flick, but for whatever reason the story is unfocused, underdeveloped, and worst of all... the titular character doesn't surf! Come and join us as we discuss among other things single Dad's and the subplots that go nowhere, royals that act more like alien visitors than human beings, and whether or not the hoity-toity do indeed like Mini Golf.
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It's April once again and you know what that means... all through the month of April the Bad Princess Movies podcast will be taking a look at movies focused on Prince characters. Our first Prince movie for 2024 is Mio in the Land of Faraway, a film based off a novel by the illustrious Astrid Lindgren (Best known for the Pippi Longstocking series). Kristi has a lot of fondness for this movie, but how does Bri enjoy the tale of little Mio in his adventures in the Land of Faraway? Come and join us as we discuss among other things Aunt Edna being the absolute worst, stone-cold villains and their frog-petting ways, and whether or not this film is best viewed at 1.5 times speed.
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It's that special time of year where we celebrate Bri's birthday by taking a look at a movie of her choice, and this year she's picked the slightly infamous Quest for Camelot. This film was meant to be the crown jewel in Warner Bros. Animation's filmography, but a troubled production and a clear desire to be Disney (Without knowing why the Disney formula actually worked) turned this film into a box office bomb. Come and join us as we discuss among other things transparently evil villain's who somehow end up on the good guys payroll, axe-headed chickens who gotta go fast, and catchy songs that deserved to be in a better film.
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Today's we're taking a look at "The Fairy Princess and the Unicorn", also known as "Bayala: A Magical Adventure", which is the much better title given that the titular unicorn only appears on screen for a collective 10 seconds of film time. This movie is based off of the Schleich toy line, and the toys are pretty cool so this movie must be as well, right? Well, sadly this film has a lot of potential but it just doesn't hold our attention (As evidenced by our many tangents in this episode). But there's still some interesting things to mention, so come and join us as we discuss among other things pastel axolotls, beloved crime scene tampering crows, and our potential career as Bayala lore theorizers on Youtube.
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This week we're taking a look at Happily N'Ever After 2: Another Bite @ The Apple, a sequel to a film that we didn't cover because apparently I found the original film so uninteresting that I forgot I had even seen it. Thankfully(?) for us, the sequel film gives us a lot more to chew on, so come and join us as we discuss among other things sequels that didn't need to be sequels, terrible father's being surprised that they have to raise their kids, and my life-long longing to go to the Medieval Times dinner show.
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We're back, and we're kicking off our fifth season with a film we really enjoyed watching: Princess Lost in Time. This film caught my eye with its really interesting premise, and luckily for me it delivers on that premise with a really well plotted, well paced film that's become one of my recent favourite watches. If time travelling Princesses' intrigues you, come and join us as we discuss among other things how time will (eventually) solve everything, giant stone ears who love to gossip, and Bri and I's mutual love for Tytonidae owls.
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To prevent Kristi from having another Christmas movie spiral we're wrapping up 2023 with a relaxing bonus episode where we look back at all the movies we watched in the past year. Instead of celebrating the holidays with your family how about you join us for what is basically the clip show equivalent of a podcast.Look forward to our new season of Bad Princess Movies, starting in early 2024!
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We're celebrating the Holiday season by returning to the Kingdom of Aldovia with the Christmas Prince 2: The Royal Wedding. What better way to get into the holiday spirit than watching a woman be talked over by anyone and everyone in her life... yeah this movie was a bit of a slog to watch. But we're committed to go through the entire Christmas Prince series, so watch it we shall! So come and join us as we discuss among other things the scary amount of power royalty in Aldovia appear to have, New York Dad's and their hot-dog loving ways, and how the human-weasel Simon still continues to be the best character this series has to offer.
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I never thought we'd see this day, but in this episode we're taking a look at the grand finale to the Swan Princess series! Luckily for us, this finale is crammed full of everything we love about the series: baffling story choices, weird tonal shifts, and those little glimmers of "That was actually pretty good!" that always kept us coming back for more. I wish this series never had to end, but I'm at least glad it's ending on more of the same nonsense I've come to love from the Swan Princess universe. So come and join us as we discuss among other things highly-conspicuous magician disguises, flying puffin dogs and the old men they frighten, and most important of all... the final status of the Rogers/Uberta ship.
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We're celebrating a very short Nutcracker November by taking a look at a recent adaptation of E.T.A. Hoffmann's holiday classic: Nutcracker and the Magic Flute. This adaptation doesn't have a lot to do with the classic plot of the Nutcracker, but if you've seen a half dozen Nutcracker films before like we have, that ends up being one of the movie's greatest strengths. As for the movie's other strengths?... well, you'll have to tune in to find out. So join us as we discuss among other things scheming ostrich's with no qualms about moving dead bodies, Rat Queen's and their seemingly endless supply of sleeping potions, and how you can use the Phantom of the Opera as a way to judge whether or not you want to accept a job offer.
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Boo! We're wrapping up the Halloween season with a spooky double feature! We're taking a look at two episodes from the Grimm's Fairy Tale Classics series that felt like a good fit for Halloween: Bluebeard and The Worn Out Dancing Shoes. So come and join us as we discuss among other things murderous bearded husbands who feel morally superior, magic shoes that exist only to fill in an adaptation created plot hole, and the scariest thing of all: Our aging millenial bodies.
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It's the spooky season so we're doing our best to find movies with even a hint of the Halloween spirit in them, which brings us to the not-really-spooky-but-it's-better-than-nothing Blood of Beasts. Blood of Beasts is the third film we're taking a look at from Director David Lister, and it turns out third times the charm as this was the film we enjoyed the most from him. Does that mean it's an incredible film? Well no, but there are some cool bits that we'll be discussing in this episode. So come and join us as we discuss among other things odd beast design choices, Gaston-wannabes and their weird braided bangs, and what it takes to become Odin's special little guy.
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This week we're taking a look at SpacePOP, a strange movie from an even stranger product line that we're assuming was created to try and get a piece of the Monster High demographic-pie. Just swap out the monsters for alien Princesses and you've got a hit on your hands, right? Well, not quite, but SpacePOP sure gave it the old college try, with a line of books, clothes, toys, make-up, and of course, a movie. So come and join us as we discuss among other things the "mystery" of how SpacePOP came to be, green skinned alien dudes and their anti-climactic makeovers, and our sympathy for overworked and under appreciated animators everywhere.
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Dust off your magic wands and hang onto your nearest sentient cloud person, this week we're diving into "Ella and the Little Sorcerer". This film is a direct sequel to a previous film we covered, "Cinderella and the Secret Prince". Does it manage to keep the madcap energy of the original film?... Well, no sadly it doesn't. But we're gonna watch it and talk about it anyway! So come and join us as we discuss among other things abrupt endings, plot threads that are left to dangle in the breeze, the myriad of ways we could rewrite this movie if given the chance. -
What do you get when you mix half of Klasky Csupo, a children's fantasy novel from the 1940s, and a dash of Tim Curry all together? You get the subject of this week's episode: The Secret of Moonacre. This film is one of those movies that kinda tows the line between "Good" and "Just kind of average", but it does have a special something to it that I think certain audiences would latch onto. Just maybe don't use Sir Benjamin as an example of what a healthy relationship looks like. Join us as we discuss among other things prideful prophecies, terrible uncles and the women who (Somehow) love them, and a completely unrelated tangent about a Christian puppet series that Kristi got weirdly fixated on.
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