Episódios
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For this episode, Samantha and Lex start off with an update. While we will no longer be producing weekly episodes of Crown Jewels, stay tuned for breaking royal news in the future. For this week’s Tea & Crumpets, they start some “polite conversation” about how the royal kids are not allowed to eat with their parents during holidays and official dinners (it’s giving kids table at Thanksgiving). While they banish their kids to eat alone, the royal family has welcomed Prince Andrew and Lady Susan Hussey back with open arms. Then, they Make It Reign on the Kardashian/Jenner family after the photo of Doria, Kris, and Kim was released. The duo closes out by guessing how much Princess Charolette is worth before naming the Spotted Dick of the week. Until next time, may God save the Betch.
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Prince Andrew is a long-term problem? Yeah, duh. This week, Sam and Lex start off by agreeing with the royal family, who confess that Prince Andrew is seen as a bigger concern than Harry and Meghan. Then, they report on the absent Prince William and Harry’s not so absent hairline. They Make It Reign on the royal summit, or what the corporate girlies call an ‘off-site’. During this royal summit, King Charles will discuss his vision for the monarchy in the coming years, so Sam and Lex throw their own ideas into the mix. To close, they play a game of Mail or Fail before dubbing the Spotted Dick of the week.
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The 2023 Invictus Games are officially in full swing, and Lex and Samantha are very excited to see Harry in his element. But first on the menu for Tea & Crumpets, a report was released stating that Meghan and Harry are the most talked-about couple on TikTok, but the conversations around them are trending negatively. Then, they delve into news about the royal couple across the pond, making it clear that Wills and Kate’s recent activities have been somewhat unusual, as they’ve both been spotted attending clubs and 24-hour festivals. To close, they play in a game of Mail or Fail before naming the Spotted Dick of the week.
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On this episode, Samantha and Lex are joined by royal etiquette expert William Hanson (@williamhansonetiquette), who lent his expertise to the upcoming film Red, White, and Royal Blue. They serve up this week’s Tea & Crumpets, starting with the removal of Prince Harry’s HRH title. Then, what’s really going on in the House of Sussex, and why were they the subject of so many gossip mag headlines last week? And finally, Archewell has bought the rights to bestseller Meet Me At The Lake, with plans to adapt it into a feature for Netflix. Next, they ask William to Make It Reign on his etiquette pet peeves, and get all their burning Red, White, and Royal Blue questions answered. They close with some American vs. British etiquette, and find out if Brits really do think Americans smile too much.
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On this episode, Samantha and Lex serve up this week’s Tea & Crumpets featuring Wills and Kate honoring rangers, King Charles and Camilla’s summer plans, and Harry being left out of his own company’s update. They double down on Prince Harry and Make It Reign on the recent setback in his lawsuit against The Sun, due to not providing timely evidence. They close by finding out what new position opened at Buckingham right before agreeing on this week’s Spotted Dick.
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We had another royal birthday this week! Samantha and Lex wish Prince George a happy 10th birthday (even though it’s making us feel old). They jump into Tea & Crumpets with some updates: One is about the Archewell website announcing their support of the not-for-profit organization, Equimundo, as well as an update to Sarah Ferguson’s Instagram, where she sends best wishes to her “little lion cub.” They Make It Reign on the divorce rumors surrounding Meghan and Harry. While they are taking these with a grain of salt, one has to wonder why more trustworthy publications are getting involved. The episode ends with guessing what our favorite royal author is up to, followed by naming the Spotted Dick of the week.
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At the beginning of the episode, Lex and Samantha wish Queen Camilla a happy birthday this week! Then, for Tea & Crumpets, they discuss Wimbledon and the Royals who attended, before questioning the Queen’s revoked allowance and President Joe Biden’s visit to the UK. After the news of Harry and Meghan’s docuseries getting snubbed by the Emmys, they Make It Reign on Netflix and their lack of support. To conclude, they examine how Prince William is getting around before finding it difficult to name the Spotted Dick of the week.
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We’re all about PDA this week! Samantha and Lex kick off Tea & Crumpets with a hearty serving of affection with Wills and Kate’s polo kiss. Then they discuss Lilibet’s covered face in paparazzi photos and Princess Charlene honeymooning apart from Prince Albert. Next, they Make It Reign on Buckingham Palace, because who would want to live there? Actually... we would! To wrap up, they speculate on the secret to the King and Queen’s marriage before crowning this week’s Spotted Dick.
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This week, Samantha and Lex catch up on the Kyle and Mauricio separation announcement before jumping into Tea and Crumpets: King Charles receiving the (replica) Scottish Crown Jewels, Kate securing her fashion icon status, and Prince Harry missing his best friend Jack Mann’s wedding for reasons still unknown. Then, they make it reign on the shady coverage of Harry and Meghan’s so-called "eviction" from Frogmore cottage, and discuss symbiotic celeb/paparazzi relationships. To close, they guess an £11m-per-year Mail or Fail and name this week’s Spotted Dick.
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Are Meghan and Harry ready to Netflix and chill? Or just chill? This week, Samantha and Lex serve up some Tea & Crumpets about Sarah Ferguson’s recent procedure and Prince William’s 5 year plan to end homelessness. Then, they make it reign on Meghan and Harry’s recent flop eras, first with Spotify and now Netflix. They were issued an ultimatum… no work, then no pay. To close they play a round of Mail or Fail before naming the Spotted Dick of the week.
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There’s much to discuss this week, so Samantha and Lex jump right into this week’s Tea and Crumpets about the new “slimmed down” monarchy and Prince William breaking his silence on his brother. Then, they make it reign on the news that Archewell Audio and Spotify have mutually agreed to part ways. Was Bill Simmons correct when he called them “grifters”. To close, they guess the Bethenny Frankel comparison in a game of Mail or Fail and name this week’s Spotted Dick.
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In this week’s episode, Sam and Lex dive into the scandalous love triangle surrounding the 30-room mansion, Royal Lodge, in Windsor Great Park. With William now in the picture, things are heating up. King Charles is making headlines by deciding to ride on horseback for Trooping the Colours, and they can’t help but be obsessed with the sheer ridiculousness of it all. They Make It Reign on Andrew and Fergie, who are accused of squandering Eugenie and Beatrice’s chances at a larger royal role. To close, they end on a round of Mail or Fail and dub the Spotted Dick of the week.
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Samantha and Lex start off this episode with a big “Congratulations” to Princess Eugenie and her new baby boy, as-well-as to Crown Prince Hussein’s happy marriage. Then, they Make It Reign on Harry’s return to court, recapping the 5 hours he spent on the witness stand. With the cross examination still to go, they guess what questions will come out. They end the episode by naming the Spotted Dick of the week.
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To start off this episode, Samantha and Lex notice that the front page of the Daily Mail is quite pro Kate Middleton, has the Princess of Wales won them over? Then they serve us this week’s Tea & Crumpets about Buckingham rejecting the request to return Prince Alemayehu’s body to Ethiopia, and address the rumor that Harry and Meghan might be returning to the UK. They Make It Reign (literal tears) recapping the Queen Charlotte series and close with a game of Mail or Fail and Spotted Dick.
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We’re looking at you today, Harry! In this episode, Lex and Samantha are taking a closer look at some of Harry’s recent actions, and debate if they are justifiable. But first, they look to Transylvania… why? King Charles has decided to take some RNR there after his very stressful coronation weekend. They turn back to Harry and Make It Reign on his recent “car chase”. Why would his team exaggerate this situation? To close out, they finish on a game of Mail or Fail and name the Spotted Dick of the week.
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In this episode, Samantha and Lex bring on NYTimes Best Selling author and royal style expert Elizabeth Holmes, fresh from her time at the Coronation. They delve into the nitty-gritty details about her firsthand Coronation experience, the mesmerizing procession line, and the drama that unfolded. Was Wills and Kate actually running late? What did the Aquazzura heels really mean? Listen to find out!
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In this Extra Extra crossover episode, Sami Sage looks to the “scaled back” coronation of King Charles to unravel the broader financial web supporting the royal family. Which ancient arrangements and stolen assets keep the royal family’s checkbook balanced? How many billions is King Charles worth? We look for the source of the royal family’s wealth and the colonial origins of the “crown jewels.”
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The wait is finally over! In this episode, Lex and Samantha are proud to announce the new King and Queen (yes, just Queen) of England. They will cover every controversy, rumor, meme, and mishap that took place over the long awaited weekend. Don’t worry, they couldn’t end without a round of Mail or Fail where they guess to see if anyone secretly attended the coronation ceremony.
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This week, Buckingham palace goes into an emergency lockdown, Charles has started hiding his much-maligned fingers, and Thomas Markle is looking for attention wherever he can get it. Samantha and Lex serve up some Tea & Crumpets with Princess Anne’s comments on a “slimmed down” monarchy, the internet rumor about Prince William's alleged secret love child, and Harry flying solo to the coronation. Then, they Make It Reign on Meghan Markle, in honor of her recent signing with WME. And finally, a round of Mail Or Fail about coronation crowds, and the Spotted Dick of the week.
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On this episode, Samantha is joined by Betches own Dylan Hafer to share his thoughts on the recent Royal happenings. First up, they discuss Fergie’s defense of Prince Andrew and the public’s opinions on his royal status. Is Fergie making him look better or worse? They dive into the secret payment made to Prince William by Rupert Murdoch’s media company, and what this means for the royal family’s relationship with the media mogul. And of course, they couldn’t forget about the psychic goat named Billy who has made some interesting predictions about the future of Harry, Meghan, and William. Plus, they play everyone’s favorite game, Mail or Fail, and named the Spotted Dick of the week.
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