Episódios
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Ralph delves into the intricate topic of infidelity among men, drawing from his extensive experience working with men and data from anonymous surveys. This discussion explores the nuances and complexities behind why some men cheat, categorizing them into two distinct types: the "former player" and the "anxious needy." Ralph provides a pragmatic understanding of the male need for sexual variety, the emotional struggle of maintaining monogamous commitments, and the emotional compartmentalization that accompanies affairs. He offers a candid look at how men justify actions outside their marriages and the psychological toll infidelity bears on their interpersonal relationships.
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Ralph examines anxiety in relationships, focusing on the interaction between anxious men and their equally anxious partners. Ralph draws on his decade of experience to highlight patterns seen in conversations with men. He explores how generalized anxiety appears in marriage and parenting and affects personal relationships.
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Ralph explores the often harsh reality faced by newly divorced individuals re-entering the dating world. He challenges the romanticized notion of "the one" by presenting the concept of serial monogamy, where multiple long-term relationships replace the quest for a singular lifelong partner. This video provides a thought-provoking examination of the shifting nature of relationships in a post-divorce world, emphasizing the discomfort many feel when confronted with this reality.
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Ralph addresses a "Dear DSO" letter from a man named Steve, who shares the breakdown of his 15-year marriage due to his wife’s significant lifestyle and fitness changes. The story unfolds themes such as infidelity, personal change, and the impact of overlooking warning signs in relationships. Ralph provides advice and support to Steve and listeners facing similar issues.
Steve’s story highlights how quickly life can change when personal growth leads to unforeseen and painful outcomes.
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This is my very first live call-in chat with a "Dear DSO" submission. You can submit your own question or story to https://deardso.com.
In this one, Christopher talks about how he has been married three times, engaged once, dealt with his bipolar disorder... and now falling in love again with a much younger single mother of three that lives in his apartment complex. Lots to talk about in this almost hour-long live chat!
Some things discussed:
How much has his bipolar disorder contributed to the chaos in his past relationships?
Does he just not like being alone?
What if he were to tell the new gal that he wants to "pump the brakes" and take 12 months to try and live the life as a truly single guy? How would she respond? What does he feel about that?
Thank you, Christopher for taking the time to chat!
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In this episode, Ralph examines the challenges men often face after divorce, noting that 70% of men are surprised by their partners' decision to leave. He discusses the emotional and physical loneliness these men experience, as well as their quick attempts to start new relationships. The episode looks at the reasons behind mid-life divorces, such as perimenopause and changes in focus once children are adults.
The episode also addresses dating for men in their 40s, warning against rushing into relationships, especially with women eager to have children. Ralph cautions men to be aware of women focused on finding a provider rather than a romantic partner. He suggests waiting at least three years before moving in or marrying to ensure a proper understanding of the partner's intentions.
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Ralph examines the emotional turmoil that follows infidelity, focusing on the psychological effects on those who have been wronged. The discussion highlights betrayal, trust issues, and psychological disorders, offering an in-depth look at dysfunctional relationships.
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Everyone seems to be talking about DUTY SEX right now. Why is this such a hot-button topic? What exactly is it, anyway? Should women do it? Should men accept it?
This is a series of clips from our last HFM Brotherhood meeting. We hold several different live meeting Zoom meetings every single week and record all of them for our members to listen back to later. We also have private discussion forums, all my books for free, a members-only podcast, in-person conferences, and more! Join us: https://helpformen.com/join
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This episode of "Dear DSO" addresses a common couple's issue: reduced sexual intimacy. Ralph shares a letter from Jack, a 40-year-old struggling with a near-nonexistent sex life in his 10-year marriage. Jack notes that he and his wife have been intimate five times in five years. Despite his efforts to spark romance, his wife remains uninterested, which strains their relationship.
Ralph examines the complexity of sexless marriages, focusing on Jack’s situation and suggesting practical solutions. He considers psychological reasons for Jack's wife's lack of interest, like childhood influences and parental marriage dynamics. Ralph recommends open communication between Jack and his wife to determine if they should attempt to reconnect or explore co-parenting separately. The episode provides insights into relationship dynamics and mentions Ralph's professional support services, including his book and private group for men with similar issues.
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In this episode, Ralph examines the changes men undergo when shifting from "nice guys" to more confident "alpha males." He discusses how a personal crisis often triggers this transformation, referencing Dr. Robert Glover's "No More Mr. Nice Guy." Ralph analyzes how today's dating world rewards confidence and extroversion, though sometimes at the expense of sincerity and emotional connection.
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In the latest episode of 'Dear DSO,' Ralph responds to a question from a participant called "Wordsmith." Wordsmith compares the decline of workplace wages to the decrease of intimacy in relationships, questioning why some women expect their partners to stay in a sexless marriage indefinitely. Ralph takes this opportunity to discuss relationship challenges, comparing professional and personal commitments.
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A follower reaches out and shares the typical "anxious man/avoidant wife" scenario we hear about so often, but this time with one twist: His wife does seem to want sex, but it's only in an apparent attempt to get her sexual need met. There's no connection with him, at all. She seems very much disconnected emotionally from him and doesn't seem interested in fixing the problem.
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A lot of people have been sending me the link to a video interview between Sadia Khan and Matthew Hussey. In this episode of DSO Reacts, I break down a couple of points that Sadia makes about women and cheating, and give my two cents (hint: I agree).
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In this episode of Dear DSO, Ralph discusses the topic of how men relax and how women perceive it. This subject was brought up by a contributor named Mr. Wordsmith 380. Ralph talks about why women might find men's leisure activities, especially when they're alone, annoying or misunderstood.
He looks at the habits of male relaxation and how society views gender roles. Ralph explains that men tend to separate different parts of their lives, which allows them to enjoy doing nothing or being in a meditative state. This approach can be confusing to women, who often see things as more connected. The episode offers insights for those interested in better understanding and improving communication and relationships between genders.
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Ralph examines the psychology behind men's perceived scarcity in the dating world and its effect on their interactions with women. He looks at how this mindset influences their reactions to women's choices, whether it's about promiscuity or opting out of dating entirely. Ralph uses real examples and hypothetical scenarios to show how these dynamics work and offers strategies for men to deal with feelings of scarcity.
Ralph says many men feel they have limited options in relationships due to self-perceived inadequacies like looks, money, or social status. This sense of scarcity leads to heightened emotional reactions to women's behaviors, such as choosing to remain single or being sexually promiscuous. By addressing these reactions, Ralph wants to help men understand that these responses come from their internal fears and insecurities, not from the women's actions.
In the end, Ralph stresses the importance of recognizing personal red flags and spotting potential issues early on. He provides practical advice for men to find compatible partners by matching their social environments with their interests and values. Ralph also critiques the overly progressive view that past promiscuity has no impact on future relationship stability, advocating for a balanced perspective.
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Ralph discusses pornography, sex work, and their psychological and social effects. He starts by examining the historical background of these industries, disproving the idea that they are recent inventions and instead showing they meet long-standing demands. He then addresses the psychological impacts on men who frequently watch porn, noting the risks of addiction and challenges in forming real-life sexual relationships.
On a wider societal level, Ralph points out the negative influence of pornography on teenagers, stressing the unrealistic standards and fantasies it promotes. He includes stories from social workers and clinicians about how exposure to sexualized content can lead to harmful first sexual experiences for teens. Ralph also mentions his book, Real Talk: No Bullshit Life Advice for Young Men, which aims to give practical advice to young men on sexual issues, puberty, and relationships.
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Ralph responds to a question from a YouTube viewer, Jason, about the dynamics of hooking up—not dating—after a divorce. Ralph explains the complexities of post-divorce relationships, especially for men who are anxious and how this can affect their decisions and emotions.
Ralph goes into the mindset of newly divorced men, especially those who are anxious and focused on self-improvement. He highlights the risks and emotional pitfalls of jumping into new intimate encounters too soon. Using various examples and experiences, Ralph discusses common patterns of men quickly falling for new partners and the messy consequences that follow. He notes that even those aiming for only a physical relationship might end up emotionally involved, leading to unintended complications.
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