Episódios

  • Kreezus (or Kris Kreezus - Tiz the Reazus for the Seazus) was produced by Local Business Comedy. 
    Wrapped 2 written by Nick Gligor. 
    Producer Jason Smith. Produced and Mixed by Alec Sherrie
    Recorded at Seaward Studios and Starburns Industries. 
    Vocals by Carl Tart, Nick Gligor, James Ross, Markeia McCarty.

    [Hook]
    Wrapped, wrappin' some gifts
    Wrapped, wrappin' some gifts 
    (Ho­ho, Santa)

    [Kanye]
    All them other Kringles lame, and ya know I’m packed 
    When ya sit on Santa’s lap, kids supposed to yap 
    WRAPPED...

    [Hook]
    Wrapped, wrappin' some gifts Wrapped, wrappin' some gifts (Ho-ho, Santa)

    [Verse 1: Kreezus]
    What you doing in the mall Black Friday?
    She say she here put a iPad on layaway
    Drink Julius but you still look thirsty
    Shop Forever 21 for Jesus's burfday
    I know I got a toy makin' station
    Bowl-full-of-Jelly Red Cheeks reputation
    Leave-a-pouty-kid-coal reputation
    Start a Toy Club, Nerf reputation
    I turnt Rudolph into somethin' amazin'
    I'll turn the sleigh 'round, his ass keep complainin'
    How you gon' whine for the duration?
    Rudy flying around all the fuckin' Nation!
    Ho, this that snow shit
    This that get-ya-dad-to-shovel-and-blow shit
    This that slip-right-off-the-roof and say “Oh shit!”
    Got a fresh cut, stubbed my big toe bitch

    [Bridge: Charlie Wilson]
    I know you're tired of wrappin, of wrappin'
    With nobody to gift
    Nobody, nobody 
    (Ho-ho, Santa)

    [Kanye]
    Close your eyes, let me deliver to a thousand kidses
    One good kid is worth a thousand giftses
    WRAPPED
    WRAPPED
    I wanna gift you hard on a rink
    After that, milk and cookies to drink
    Step back, thumb my nose n wink
    I mean damn, what would Ja-Jeezy-Jeezy-Jeezy Christ think? 
    Hey, you remember whatcha first gift?
    Okay, I don't remember whatcha first gift
    But hey, givin’ is the first step
    And hey, you know ain't no Santa perfect
    And I know, these ho ho’s you’ve come to expect
    But hey, these kids I never neglect
    And hey, ayo, we made it: Thanksgiving
    So hey, maybe we can make it next Christmas
    Kid asked what I wished for on my wishlist
    Have you ever asked a kid for other kidses?
    Baby, you still think that I’m fictitious?
    Maybe, but who be giftin’ all your wishes?
    After all this long-ass evenin'
    I'm tired, you tired
    Jesus slept

    [Bridge: Charlie Wilson]
    I know you're tired of presents, of presents
    With nobody to gift
    Nobody, nobody
    Just gift somebody, this holiday party
    With nobody to gift
    Nobody, nobody 
    (It's a silent night, it's snowing)
    (Ho-ho, santa)

    [Kanye West]
    Saint Nick’s in the house, like a mouse 
    Saint Nick’s in the house, like a mouse
    WRAPPED
    [Hook]
    Wrapped, wrappin' some gifts Wrapped, wrappin' some gifts
    (Ho Ho Santa)
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  • Kreezus (or Kris Kreezus - Tiz the Reazus for the Seazus) was produced by Local Business Comedy. 
    Gift it Up written by Joey Clift. 
    Producer Jason Smith. Produced and Mixed by Alec Sherrie
    Recorded at Seaward Studios and Starburns Industries. 
    Vocals by Carl Tart, James Ross.

    [Intro: Beenie Man]
    We buildin’ them gifts?
    Christmas

    [Verse 1: King Louie]
    Makin’ gifts bitch call me Elvish
    Toys R’ Us can call me selfish
    My toy trains got 'em jealous
    Kreezus’ killing, while I'm drilling
    Sleigh Bells how they make the news
    Meanwhile I’m makin’ shoes
    Got my reindeer lined up in twos
    Makin’ toys with hammer and screws
    I’m an elf, so I got the tools
    and we buildin’ those gifts to move
    I be gifting hard, I got a name to prove
    Makin’ all the children’s Christmas day improve

    [Hook: King Louie]
    We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts
    We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts
    We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts
    We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts

    We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts
    We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts
    We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts
    We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts

    Kreezus!

    [Verse 2: Kanye West]
    This the greatest Jingle of the Bells
    Since “Jingle Bells"
    Bag packed, I might lug it around
    On my reindeers back like my sleighs got bells
    She say "Can you call me 'Carol of the Bells'?"
    I say "Can you play 'Carol of the Bells'?"
    If not, treat your name like my sleigh
    Leave they ass off gifts, til you change your way 
    When I give gifts, I like wrappin them
    When I write names, I like to sign in pen
    When I get a box, She gotta a gift again
    She can't get a box, that bitch snowed in
    The weather cold, even for snowmen
    Ruby red on my nose again
    Eating cookies straight outta the tin
    Kreezus shovel snow again

    [Hook: King Louie]
    We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts
    We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts
    We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts
    We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts

    We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts
    We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts
    We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts
    We can gift this bitch up, we makin’ gifts

    [Outro: Beenie Man]
    Christmas Gifts don't live like presents do
    Santa always 'member you
    Whether kids are good or bad
    It's the gifts that make kids glad
    Christmas Gifts don't live like presents do
    Santa always 'member you
    Whether kids are good or bad
    It's the gifts that make kids glad
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  • Kreezus was produced by Local Business Comedy.
    Written by Stephen Perlstein. 
    Producer Jason Smith. Produced and Mixed by Alec Sherrie
    Recorded at Seaward Studios and Starburns Industries. 
    Vocals by Carl Tart, Joey Clift, Nick Gligor

    [Intro]
    I need to make a stop
    I need to, I need to drink a milk
    'Nother one, cookies gone 
    Snickerdoodle
    Walking up, on the lawn 
    Almond milk, and milk on ice
    She get her gifts
    I'm eating mine

    [Hook: Popcaan]
    All dem cookies gone cookies cookies cookies gone 
    Dem cookies gone gone gone, sof-sof-softer sof-softer 
    All dem cookies gone cookies cookies cookies gone 
    Dem cookies gone gone gone, wash em down with milk

    [Verse 1]
    Maybe it's cause she love Oreos
    And I was in Cerritos,
    Parking atop a gazebos
    I could have milk, I like em cold
    Those cookies I will Repo
    The carrots I veto
    Then drink milk by myself
    And I'm feelin' full right now
    Cause it's the time when the milk got washed down 
    Crocker! Crocker! Betty, Crocker! Crocker!
    Pour a little skim milk, cookies i will Nom Ya
    Feelin' so good like I never could with SALSA 
    Frosting is a symphony, so this is a OPERA
    I'm eating chocolate chip, until there is Nada
    This milk on a higher plain, call me Dalai Lama
    On to the next casa
    Dropping off boys gifts here is a, TONKA
    Pause when I bite, yeah, eating with a Comma 
    Save one for Mama
    Nada one left for Mama, Hooooo!

    [Hook]
    All dem cookies gone cookies cookies cookies gone 
    Dem cookies gone gone gone, sof-sof-softer sof-softer 
    All dem cookies gone cookies cookies cookies gone 
    Dem cookies gone gone gone, wash em down with milk

    [Bridge: Popcaan]
    None ah dem have the treats so I don’t stay spray 
    None ah dem have the milk so I get in my sleigh

    [Interlude: Kid Cudi]
    Ho, Ho, Ho
    If you want gifts so much then you shoulda left me milk!
    If you want gifts so much then you shoulda left me milk!
    If you want gifts so much then you shoulda left me milk!
    Left me milk, left me milk, left me milk, left me milk
    If you want gifts so much then you shoulda left me milk!
    Left me milk, left me milk
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  • Kreezus was written and produced by Local Business Comedy.
    Lights on the Trees written by Stephen Perlstein. 
    Producer Jason Smith. Produced and Mixed by Alec Sherrie
    Recorded at Seaward Studios and Starburns Industries. 
    Vocals by Carl Tart, Markeia McCarty.

    Local Business is a new sketch comedy group helmed by Joey Clift (Wabbit, Cracked), Nick Gligor (Fox ADHD, Cracked), and Stephen Perlstein (Wabbit, UCB Comedy). Corporations are not people, but Local Business is!

    [Intro: Nina Simone]
    Strange ornaments hanging from the christmas trees 
    Lights on the trees

    [Verse 1]
    I just need to clear the snow now
    It's been building since last Christmastime 
    Now I'm going down for Christmas now 
    And all I want is not to go fly now
    Cause I ain't got the gifts on me right now 
    And I told elves to build
    Yeah, I told elves to build
    But I'mma need a little more time now 
    Cause I ain't got the giftiess on me right now 
    And I thought elves could build
    Yeah, I thought elves could build
    These kidses surrounding me
    All want something from me
    Then they sit up on me
    There’s no gift without me
    We could've been Snow Buddies
    Thought you'd be nice kids 'bout it
    Now I know you naughty
    So let's fly on with it

    [Verse 2]
    We could've been Snow Buddies 
    'Stead you had to get gift hungry 
    Let's take it back to your first Barbie 
    When you asked for it from mommy 
    She said no to your malarky
    She said no to your malarky
    But you got Barbie from me
    And you was screamin' "POUND PUPPY!" 
    Before the Wish List tore ya
    Before the Wish List stole ya 
    'Member Christmas was so fun?
    When I would gift yaaaaaa
    Before the lights on the trees
    I know this fake Christmas tree 
    Something strange is happening

    [Verse 3]
    You could've been Snow buddies
    We could've
    Ho! We could've been Snow buddies
    Or was it cause the first Barbie
    When we hung our first Holly
    The gifts came from our heart-y
    The gifts came from our heart-y
    Before they call stores
    Before the Black Friday shoppers
    How you gon' fight through the stores?
    It's like I don't even know ya
    I gotta bring it back to the Claus

    [Bridge]
    Fuck them other Reindeer cause I'm down with my Reindeer
    Fuck them other Reindeer cause I'm down with my Reindeer
    Fuck them other Reindeer cause I'm down with my Reindeer 
    I ride with my Reindeers
    I'd die for my...

    [Verse 4]
    To all them Jewish ass kidzes, try and get a freebay
    Trying to get a freebay, now you talkin' crazy
    I don't give a damn if your mom used to see me
    It ain't Christmas, this business, need stop actin' greedy
    She Instagram her gifts like #BadGiftAlert
    I Instagram her back like #KidBitchAlert
    I only ever see that sass gettin worse 
    Two-thousand-pound coal, too big for your purse
    Now you sittin' fireside, presents on the other side
    No labels got your name, gotta check the card right
    Then you aint satiated, I’m still flying world wide
    Then you gotta go and tell your dad and thwart that 
    Main reason cause your gift-friends got to sport that 
    Mommy say you ain't appreciate and take them gifts back 
    All your fucking gifts going back on the gift rack
    Nothing now for show and tell, what you think about that?
    All in all your tinsel honey, uh
    Yeah-yeah, I got you girly
    Next year I’ll gift you hard
    Ho, Christmas aganony

    [Outro]
    That winter night holding long and long, 'din long 
    Now waiting for the birthday gifts and (cry)
    And cry and cry
    And cry and cry
    And cry and cry
    And live and learn
    And live and learn
    And gifting and gifting like I'm lonely, lonely, lonely
    And gifting all I have
    And gifting all
    And gift
    And gift

    Download link: https://soundcloud.com/local-business-comedy/sets/kreezus
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  • Kreezus (or Kris Kreezus - Tiz the Reazus for the Seazus) was produced by Local Business Comedy.
    Written by Joey Clift. 
    Producer Jason Smith. Produced and Mixed by Alec Sherrie
    Recorded at Seaward Studios and Starburns Industries. 
    Vocals by Carl Tart, Ify Nwadiwe, James Ross.

    [Verse 1: Kanye West]
    Damn your bricks very rough
    Covered up in soot n’ stuff
    And I think I see a dead bird
    Ho Ho Ho is what you heard
    Gift Bags, Reindeer, jingle bells
    presents, gifts, bows, coal, Kris Kringle bells
    So many gifts, I need to crash
    Empty bag, stockings full, gifts at last
    Thank Claus almighty, they gifts at last
    Silent as a mouse and I’m leavin' fast
    You want a gift for your cat, didn’t even ask
    Just kiddin', I brought him a toy, he’ll have a blast
    Stuck in a chimney, all those hours lost
    Eatin' Christmas cookies, all I need was milk as dippin’ sauce 
    Fire place? Please turn the power off
    Tub covered in soot when I turn the shower off

    [Bridge: Assassin]
    That's all Santa can do, say what? (Ho Ho, Ho Ho) 
    That's all Santa can do
    We deal with Santa ting
    Just a Santa ting, a' fat man do
    Santa thing, you a fat man thing

    [Verse 2: Assassin]
    I'm a Santa if you know say
    Respect we know gifts, It’s Christmas day Try that 'pon December 25th
    That's right, we talkin’ Santa’s sleigh
    When we roll 'up 'pon your roof
    Yeah badda we givin’ gifts, like a Toys R’ Us 
    When we roll 'up 'pon your roof
    Yeah badda we givin’ gifts, like a Toys R’ Us
    And your roof’s covered in slush
    Ho ho ho ho ho ho it’s Christmas day

    [Hook: Kanye West and Justin Vernon]
    That's right I'm in it,
    (Talkin’ bout the Chimney)
    I'm in it
    (Chimney’s hard to climb)
    That's right
    (Yeah, It’s a chimney)
    I'm in it,
    (Singin’ bout that chimney)
    That's right, I'm in it
    (Don’t burn nothin’ in the chimney)
    I'm in it
    (Chimney is a Chimney)
    Saint Nick’s got a ruby red nose,
    But climbin’ chimney’s is hard on your clothes

    [Verse 3: Kanye West]
    Ho, picked up where we left off
    Ho, turn that T.V. set off
    Ho, you watching Christmas specials
    Ho, you got lotsa tinsel
    Ho, you love your toe with missiles
    Ho, wrap a whole lotta gifts now
    Ho, You know it’s Christmas time
    Livin’ room’s bright, it’s Christmas light time
    Red gifts with a white twine
    Jingle bells at the right time
    Open gifts like HOOOOOOOO!

    [Hook 2: Assassin, Justin Vernon, and Kanye West] 
    I’m in the Chimney and I can't get out
    (That's all dem can do (Wiggling legs)
    I’m in the Chimney and I can't get out
    (Wiggling Legs)
    (Wiggling Legs)
    It’s a Santa ting
    Just a Santa thing, a' fat man do Saint Nick’s got a ruby red nose

    [Bridge: Justin Vernon]
    Say you got a gift for me, for you
    Hey, gifts and presents rule
    Gift Giver
    Gift Giver
    Gift Giver
    Ho, Ho

    [Outro: Kanye West]
    Givin’ lotsa gifts right now
    Ho, Christmas tree full of lights now
    Ho, got the cookies-and-the-milk life 
    Ho, elf hammer and drill life
    Ho, there ain’t shit for the bad kids 
    Ho, they’ll have coal for a nightlight 
    Ho, North pole like the klondike
    Ho, cookies make me wanna take a bite 
    Ho, Santa start a new movement 
    Ho, Little drummer boy drummin
    Ho, Droppin’ yuletide beats
    Ho, pa rum pum pum pum pummin 
    Ho, these gifts I am giftin
    Ho, Rudolph’s nose is glowin
    Ho, I be giftin’ soda streams-ees
    Ho, Don’t need no gift reciept-ees
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  • Kreezus was produced by Local Business Comedy. 
    Hold My Eggnog written by Stephen Perlstein. 
    Producer Jason Smith. Produced and Mixed by Alec Sherrie
    Recorded at Seaward Studios and Starburns Industries. 
    Vocals by Carl Tart, James Ross, Nick Gligor.


    [Intro: Justin Vernon]
    I can hold my Egg Nog
    But these elves can’t decorate trees 
    Fat and Jolly now
    On the north pole, headin south
    I'm on to Indiana
    I heard it's christmas now

    [Hook: Chief Keef]
    I can't handle no egg nog
    But these elves can’t decorate trees
    I can't control my reindeers
    And my reindeers they can't control me 
    You say you know me, my reindeer
    But you really just know Frosty

    [Verse 1: Kanye West]
    Kids I'm out my food coma
    Drinkin’ nog (or milk) on your sofa 
    When I pull my sleigh over
    Slightly scratch ya new Solar (Panel) 
    Okay, I smashed ya new Solar (Panel) 
    Shoulda bought a snow blower 
    Thousand years I been chauffeur 
    Gifts is why I came over
    One more milk and I can own ya
    One more keebler I can own ya
    One cold night in December 
    Knapsack got me floating
    Feel like Meisterburger
    Krampus had me dead
    Might call Rudolph over
    Kreezy’s still on your sofa
    We the bad North Polers
    Still ain't learn to be Santas
    You hate me when it’s October
    I hate the soot in your smoker 
    Eating all a ya donut
    Then elf Hermey came over
    Pointy ears with no shoulders
    Tell me that these gifts bogus
    Elf you don't even know us 
    Hermey, he's a poser 
    Hermey, he's a poser 
    Dentist is his Persona 
    X-rays all in his folder
    Elfs think he just bogus
    Ho ho hos became ho-less 
    When it's cold it's colder
    And kid, I'm out my food coma

    [Bridge: Justin Vernon] 
    Crawling up your fire’s place 
    Gifts all over the place
    All I got was coal
    Hoooo I wanna go home

    [Hook: Chief Keef]
    I can't handle no egg nog
    But these elves can’t decorate trees
    I can't control my reindeers
    And my reindeers they can't control me 
    You say you know me, my reindeer 
    But you really just know Frosty

    [Outro: Justin Vernon and Kanye West]
    I heard you need a new ipad (a new gift)
    I heard you need a new pack (a new gift)
    I heard you need a new phone (a new gift)
    I know your present ain't be home (a new gift)

    [Bridge]
    Crawling up your fire’s place
    Gifts all over the place
    All I got was coal
    Hoooo I wanna go home

    Download link: https://soundcloud.com/local-business-comedy/sets/kreezus
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  • Kreezus was produced by Local Business Comedy. 
    New Sleighs written by Stephen Perlstein.
    Producer Jason Smith. Produced and Mixed by Alec Sherrie
    Recorded at Seaward Studios and Starburns Industries. 
    Vocals by Carl Tart, James Ross, Nick Gligor, Stephen Perlstein
    Download here: http://www.4shared.com/zip/Q8z7rR1Lba/Kreezus.html


    [Verse 1]
    Ms. Claus was raised in the era when
    Clean snow was only rode by Jack Skellington
    Riding snow you would have thought I had help
    But they wasn't satisfied unless I shoveled snow myself 
    You see it's broke toboggan racin’
    That's that "Don't touch any of the snow"
    And it's rich toboggan racin’
    That's that "Come in, please buy more"
    "What you want, new blades? Fur trim? A diamond rein? All you sleds want all the same things"
    Used to only be trash lids, now everybody sleigh’n 
    Spending everything on Skii Doo Thangs
    New Sleighs

    [Bridge]
    You see there's wood ones and there's saucers 
    But I'd rather be a blade than a shoveler
    You see there's wood ones and there's saucers 
    But I'd rather be a blade than a shoveler

    [Verse 2]
    I throw these Ski Doo keys
    I ride my blade on the sleet
    I know that we the new Sleighs 
    I see the lights on the trees
    I see the lights on the trees
    I see the lights on the trees
    I know that we the new Sleighs 
    I see the lights on the trees 
    They throwing snow at me 
    Want me to stay and ski
    Fuck you and your corporation 
    Y'all sleddas can't control me
    I know that we the new sleighs 
    I know that we the new sleighs 
    I'm 'bout to ride the fuck out 
    I'm going Nicholas, Saint
    I know that tinsel ain't free
    You sleddas tinsel, ain't me 
    Y'all throwing coupons at me 
    You know that sleddas can't read 
    Throw 'em some ski doo keys
    Fuck it, christmas tree
    I know that we the new sleighs
    Y'all sledda can't fuck with me
    Y'all sleddas can't fuck with Kring
    Y'all sleddas can't fuck with Kring
    I'll move my family out to Oslo
    So you can't see where I ring
    So go and grab the snowmen
    So I can smash and throw them
    See they'll confuse us with some scrooges 
    Like the Ancient Roman
    Meanwhile the DMV
    Teamed up with the SKI-M-V
    They tryna lock sleddas up
    They tryna make new sleighs
    See that's that privately owned mountain 
    Get your snow today
    They prolly all in the Hamptons
    Braggin' 'bout what they made
    Sled you and your Hampton house
    I'll Sled your Hampton spouse
    Sled on her Hampton blouse
    Snow in her Hampton mouth
    Y'all 'bout to throw snow up
    I'm 'bout to ride snow down
    I'm 'bout to melt snow down
    Now what the fuck they gon' ski now?

    [Outro: Kanye West & Frank Ocean]
    I won't end this ride, not this time again
    So long, so long, so long, you cannot come ride 
    And I'm not riding, and I came loose
    I came loose, yeah, I came loose
    Cause I can't leave it to you
    So let's get to ride, get to ride again
    (To ride again, to ride)
    hoo hoo ho hooooooo

    [Kóbor János]
    Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen 
    But do you recall..
    The most famous reindeer of them all?
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  • Kreezus written and produced by Local Business Comedy: Joey Clift, Nick Gligor, Stephen Perlstein and Dumbshit Mountain
    Producer Jason Smith. Produced and Mixed by Alec Sherrie
    Recorded at Seaward Studios and Starburns Industries. 
    Vocals by Carl Tart, James Ross

    [Beanie man] 
    (Silent night riff...)

    [Intro] 
    I am a Claus 
    I am a Claus 
    I am a Claus
     
    [Hook]
    I am a Claus 
    Hurry up with my damn rudolph
    Hurry up with them trains & dolls 
    Get the Sleigh out the damn garage
    I am a Claus
    Even though I'm a Santa Claus
    Your wish list in the hands of Claus 
    So y'all better quit writin’ to Claus
    [Verse 1]
    Naughty or nice is so unlike you
    Kissin' santa's ass is so unlike you
    The only santa that’s not a white dude
    So here's a few hating-ass children who'll fight you
    If you were milk n cookies I wouldbite you
    And I don't even wanna hear 'bout what children might do 
    Old parents mentally still in high school
    Since the white beard they never liked you
    Red-ass jacket with a fucking knapsack
    But everybody know you brought real gifts back
    Gifts was unwrapped, man, we the Wrap Pack
    Dasher Dancer Donner Sleighback
    Rudolph Reinder, Red Nose shining
    Monop' in this bitch again, Milton Bradley
    Skip this house these kids be bratty
    Until the day day stop calling me fatty

    [Hook]

    I am a Claus 
    So hurry up with my damn rudolph In a family-ass residaunce
    Hurry up with my damn egg nog!
    I am a Claus 
    I am a Claus 
    I am a Claus 

    HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

    [Verse 2]
    I just talked to Jesus
    He said, "What up, Kreezus?" 
    I said, "Climbing buildins, trying to gift these childrin" 
    I know elves bout yay high 
    Reindeer make dat sleigh fly 
    Su casa, mi casa
    I drink milk the mosta - HO!
    I am a Claus 
    I am a Claus 
    I am a Claus

    HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

    [Outro: Justin Vernon]
    Ain't no way I'm coming to town. I'm a Claus
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  • Kreezus (or Kris Kreezus - Tiz the Reazus for the Seazus) was produced by Local Business Comedy. Written by Joey Clift. 
    Producer Jason Smith. Produced and Mixed by Alec Sherrie
    Recorded at Seaward Studios and Starburns Industries. 
    Vocals by Carl Tart (Kanye West)
    Download here: http://www.4shared.com/zip/Q8z7rR1Lba...

    [Verse 1]
    For my theme song
    My red n fur jeans on
    My tinsel so green on
    Children are gettin’ their dreams on
    I’ve got the wisdom
    My naughty list so long
    They see a fat man with a white beard riding a sleigh with bells that go ding dong 
    Middle America’s presents
    Are most of my big bag’s content
    Flying my sleigh it’s an event
    Fly this bitch on Christmas Evenin’
    Passing out coal to the catholics
    Filling up stockings of Baptists
    Claiming I'm over-regifting
    To the bad kids on my bad list

    [Hook]
    Billions of gifts, That I’ll lift
    In my red vest, I’m so swift
    24 hours, a long shift
    24 BluRay: 's a hot gift
    Rudolph we living in the moment 
    Your nose glowing, red I know it 
    I’m real excited cause it’s snowin’
    Ho ho hoin'!
    Ho ho hoin'!

    [Bridge]
    So leave out the cookies I’ll chug all that milk (down) 
    Keep being nice I’ll give you a present (now)
    build a gingerbread house (now)
    stay quiet as a mouse (down)
    If all you want is some coal in your fist
    I’ll keep your name on my naughty list

    [Hook]
    Billions of gifts, That I’ll lift
    In my red vest, I’m so swift
    24 hours, a long shift
    24 BluRay: 's a hot gift
    Rudolph we living in the moment
    Your nose glowing, red I know it 
    I’m real excited cause it’s snowin’
    Ho ho hoin'!
    Ho ho hoin'!

    [Verse 2]
    Reindeer are some cool shit
    Four legs and some hooves shit 
    Fuck all that mule shit
    Just celebrating some yule shit
    I’m aware I’m kringle
    Wrapping your presents
    I’m aware I’m a Klaus
    From the north pole, bitch
    Got lots of coal, bitch
    Reindeer are some cool shit
    Flying like a balloon shit
    Flying like a balloon shit
    Come on rudolph eatchya corn 
    Sooner or later you’re air born 
    These reindeer delivering presents deliver, deliver your presents

    [Hook]
    Billions of gifts, That I’ll lift
    In my red vest, I’m so swift
    24 hours, a long shift
    24 BluRay: 's a hot gift
    Rudolph we living in the moment 
    Your nose glowing, red I know it 
    I’m real excited cause it’s snowin’
    Ho ho hoin'! 
    Ho ho hoin'!

    [Bridge]
    So leave out the cookies I’ll chug all that milk (down) 
    Keep being nice I’ll give you a present (now)
    build a gingerbread house (now)
    stay quiet as a mouse (down)
    If all you want is some coal in your fist
    I’ll keep your name on my naughty list
    [Outro]
    Claus! Claus! Claus! Claus! Claus! Claus! Claus! Claus!
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  • Kreezus (or Kris Kreezus - Tiz the Reazus for the Seazus) written and produced by Local Business Comedy. 
    Long Night written by Nick Gligor. 
    Producer Jason Smith. Produced and Mixed by Alec Sherrie
    Recorded at Seaward Studios and Starburns Industries. 
    Vocals by Carl Tart.

    Available for free download at Christmas.BoardwalkAudio.com

    Fuck man, it’s Christmas again

    [Verse 1]
    Christmas season approaching
    Fuck the toys that y'all been wantin'
    Fuck the, fuck the toys y'all been huntin'
    A Santa be up all night again
    Soon as I pull up and park the gifts
    We get this bitch crippled like Tiny Tim
    Take my knapsack and pack it in
    White hair, boots, tobogga-sins
    It's too many kids in this house of ten
    Real Kringle back in ya house again
    Red dude all in your chimney then
    Red suit all on your couch again
    And I know kids like presents, man
    They got more damn gifts in their stockings man, huh

    [Hook]
    Long night, long night

    [Bridge]
    How many gifts am I droppin off?
    Let me say I lost count; I don’t give a fuck
    How many gifts am I droppin off?
    Let me say I lost count; I don’t give a fuck

    [Interlude]
    He'll give us what we need It may not be what we want

    [Verse 2]
    Baby girl tryna get a tree
    And her girl tryna get a tree
    Chopped 'em both down
    Don't grudge 'em, Chuck Brown!
    One last deposit
    No piss breaks, Keep movin', Comet!
    Everybody wanna live at the top of the North Pole
    Took her to the Shop, she tried to gift my butt hole
    That's when Hermey the Elf kicked her out
    But he got her back in and put a drill in her mooooouuuuth
    Long night, long night
    Ho, ho
    Sleep now, I need sleep now
    I need, I need
    Sleep now
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