Episódios
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When we enter a space of feeling better after a long time of feeling down, it can take effort to stay there - an effort that can feel unfamiliar and difficult, especially if we’ve grown used to feeling down. In the same way as any new skill, practicing the things that make us feel better is something that takes time and effort. Give yourself time and patience, but don’t stop in your efforts to feel better - you deserve all the good things they will bring.
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Sometimes, when doing the things I have to do, I feel like I have no choice. Feeling that way makes me feel resentful and powerless, so I try to remind myself that though I may not like my options sometimes, I always have some kind of choice. If I’m not happy in a situation and feel like the options I have aren’t good ones, all I can do is make the choices that I feel will give me better options and improve my overall situation. There are always choices and there is always hope!
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I have written my first book! I wasn’t able to talk about it during the process of writing, so this episode has been a long time coming. From writing the proposal to finishing the book itself, I wanted to share the whole journey with you. My book is called ‘Frequently Happy’ and you can find it wherever you buy your books - you could even type ‘David Larbi Frequently Happy’ into any search engine and you’d find it! Thank you for everything, thank you for listening and have a wonderful week.
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I’ve been struggling a little bit recently. Nothing dramatic, no cause for concern, just one of those periods where everything feels a bit much and I feel myself coming up frustratingly short in areas I’ve worked hard at being better in. It’s important during times like these to remember that the lessons I’ve learnt and strength I’ve built hasn’t gone anywhere - I just need to be good to myself until I’m back to 100%.
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Sometimes it can be easier to sit in the safety blanket of a perfect idea and let the intrinsic pleasure of imagination keep us warm. It takes work and courage to bring ideas to life in their fullness, but that’s an effort worth making. Ideas become even richer when we bring them to life.
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Welcome back! I took an unscheduled and unexpected break from the podcast for health reasons, but I feel rested, recovered and very, very happy to be back with you. During the past few months I’ve really had to rely on my support network and rely on some of the things I find most challenging - vocalising my needs and asking for help. This year has been a lesson in letting myself rely on people and getting over my fear of actually asking for what I need. Hinting isn’t asking for help - sometimes we need to clear our throats, dig deep and ask aloud for what we need!
Doing so is good for us, good for the people who care for us and good for our relationships.
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Another Q&A Episode, as is tradition every tenth episode! As ever, I chose the questions that I feel best positioned to answer according to life right now - I hope my answers are well-received and of value. As ever, thank you for being here and thank you for listening. Here’s to the next ten episodes!
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When it comes to tackling tasks I know will likely bring discomfort, I can find it difficult to get out of my head and into gear. Sometimes, though, that’s all that’s left to do. We can only think so much before doing, and sometimes difficulty is far greater in the hypothesis than in reality. It’s up to me to act, then deal with any difficulties as they arise rather than letting hypothetical difficulty stop me from acting. Make it real, then deal!
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When encountering familiar difficulties which we’ve overcome before, it can feel frustrating that we’re finding the same things difficult once more. It causes me to question my own growth and progress. Some things, however, are simply difficult in nature. To struggle with the same things does not mean we haven’t grown, it’s simply indicative of life’s changing nature. We can find the same things difficult, but deal with them better than we ever would have before.
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Sometimes, good things come to an end. Things being fleeting can make them precious; good things don’t have to last forever for them to have the impact they need to. They still resonate into the future, and are always worth experiencing even if they don’t last as long as we hoped.
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I’ve been making a conscious effort to occupy my time wisely. If I’m not careful, I give in to my need to constantly feel as though I’m actively working hard and doing something all the time - in other words, sometimes I busy myself needlessly. Being more intentional about my time is much better for my health, and something I am doing my best not to compromise on.
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When things are difficult, I think about quitting. It’s a logical thought process, and one I no longer take any shame in. To understand and explore my desire to quit is to give my feelings credibility and make a decision I can truly stand behind, and continuing when I know I could have given up is when I see how strong I can be.
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The thought, “I can’t be bothered to do this” happens at the time when I could, in fact, conveniently do this - I just don’t feel like it. Getting over that feeling and deciding more often to think “might as well” and do it, is something I never regret. It’s not the biggest deal in the world, but the more I decide “might as well”, the better my life is in the small ways that add up.
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I’ve been working for a long time, years, on being consistent in many areas of my life. I’m in a place now where I can see progress even as I look to improve, which feels really nice. Building consistency isn’t easy but the principles are simple, and it’s something we can all do!
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When I mess up, I find it hard to forgive myself and let go. The problem with this is it that I then miss the opportunity to be present, understand my actions, move forward and heal. Forgiving myself is a practice I am working hard on.
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If I’m not careful, I find it all too easy to equate my self-worth to how productive I’m being and what I’m achieving at the present time. Building better self-esteem comes from understanding that I have value no matter what I’m currently achieving, and productivity and achievement are useful but should not be my only validation.
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Welcome to another Q&A Episode! I meant to answer 20 and realised I accidentally fell one short - let’s say I owe you one! 30 episodes is quite a few, and I only grow to love this more the more I do it, so thank you so very much for listening.
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I often find myself wishing time away over small inconveniences and the type of general difficulty that comes as a part of life. It stops me being present and appreciative, and it’s something I want to work on doing far less of!
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‘Self-sabotage: behaviour or thoughts, especially of an involuntary or unconscious nature, that are harmful to one’s own interests or development.’
Self-sabotage, as the name suggests, is deeply personal and everyone has their individual reasons for engaging in it. I’m very much a work in progress, but I’ve really become much better at understanding the root causes and thought processes that have lead me to do so in the past.
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