Episódios
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Speeding along the motorway listening to music from his youth, Andy was reflecting on happier times. He was thinking about a holiday in Ibiza when he was 19 years old and hadn’t a care in the world. He’d been genuinely happy then.
Now he felt angry, destructive. He saw nothing ahead of him except struggle and pain. He put his foot on the accelerator and saw the speedometer rise to 90 miles per hour. He bobbed and weaved his way through the cars. He took his hands off the steering wheel. He closed his eyes, he started to count. Within the deep blackness Andy was being hurtled, he was taking the ultimate gamble.
What had led Andy to this point? And what tools are available to help men like Andy in society today?
Alex Melia, and the Stories of Men team are on a mission to uncover what it means to live an independent and meaningful life. We'll be sharing this knowledge with you every week.
We’d like to extend our appreciation to today’s guest, Andy. His moving and brave recollections of the challenges he has faced are both enlightening and highly appreciated. They also provide a vital part of the puzzle as we try to piece together what it means to be a man in today’s world. [Original air date: May 12th, 2023]
Referenced website: epicriskmanagement.com
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Mentioned in this episode:
Take The Man Test here: https://bit.ly/som_the_man_test
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You’re a soldier driving through a warzone. You pass through a deserted village. Later you see a lonely crucifix in a field. You find out what it symbolises: one night all of the people in the village were dragged outside of their homes and executed. How do you react? Do you dare to show emotion? Do you dare to show compassion?
Jed Irving was a man’s man. He had been trained to keep his emotions in check. He didn’t react to finding out about the village massacre. He suppressed his feelings. But, years later, that memory from the past was triggered. This time he felt a depth of compassion he had not been able to access before. But would Jed finally allow himself to express the emotions he had previously denied?
Today we discover how Jed dealt with being confronted by the past. And ask, has Jed’s perception of masculinity changed as he has grown older? And what does it truly mean to be a “tough guy” in the 21st century?
Alex Melia, and the Stories of Men team are on a mission to uncover what it means to live an independent and meaningful life. We'll be sharing this knowledge with you every week.
We’d like to extend our appreciation to today’s guest, Jed Irving. His vulnerability, openness and sincerity in talking about bearing witness to such a tragic scene shows inspirational courage. It also provides meaningful reflection as we try to piece together what it means to be a man in today’s world.
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A Fascinate Production
Mentioned in this episode:
Take The Man Test here: https://bit.ly/the_man_test
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It was his first summer holiday with the boys in Spain. Alan and his mates were bragging about all the money they’d brought with them for their two weeks in the sun. Yet, while his mates all seemed to be expressing genuine excitement, Alan felt anxious about the days to come.
After the first night out, all of the lads returned in a drunken state. They left their clothes strewn across the apartment as they collapsed into sleep. Only Alan remained awake. He couldn’t stop thinking about a lie he’d told earlier. He couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that he had come on a two-week holiday with his mates without bringing any money with him at all.
How would Alan get through the next two weeks of his holiday? And what had got him into such a precarious situation to begin with?
Alex Melia, and the Stories of Men team are on a mission to uncover what it means to live an independent and meaningful life. We'll be sharing this knowledge with you every week.
We’d like to extend our appreciation to today’s guest, Alan. His frank and unflinching discussion of some truly difficult topics are deeply valued. It also provides a vital part of the puzzle as we try to piece together what it means to be a man in today’s world.
Referenced links: epicriskmanagement.com
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Check out the Stories Of Men website for more on this story
We're also on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram
A Fascinate Production
Mentioned in this episode:
Take The Man Test here: https://bit.ly/the_man_test_som
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After the previously independent company that he’d worked for had been bought up by a much larger one, Anuj had begun to lose his passion for his job. The one benefit that had remained was his team, who he thoroughly enjoyed working with. But even that would come under threat as Anuj was told that he needed to make two of them redundant.
Anuj decided that it was time for him to formulate a plan. Once he had it clearly formulated, he steeled himself to tell his boss about it before the scheduled redundancy meeting would take place. With trepidation in his heart, he would prepare to tell his boss what he felt needed to be said.
Alex Melia, and the Stories of Men team are on a mission to uncover what it means to live an independent and meaningful life. We'll be sharing this knowledge with you every week.
We’d like to extend our appreciation to today’s guest, Anuj. His thoughtful and open reflections on the workplace and the pressures of being a breadwinner are deeply appreciated. They also provide a vital part of the puzzle as we try to piece together what it means to be a man in today’s world. [Original air date: November 14th, 2023]
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Check out the Stories Of Men website for more on this story
We're also on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram
A Fascinate Production
Mentioned in this episode:
Take The Man Test here: https://bit.ly/som_the_man_test
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Jonathan was daydreaming while his chemistry professor was putting chalk to blackboard. He’d snuck his NME magazine into the lecture theatre and was reading about an upcoming gig: Alice in Chains, a world-famous band, were coming to perform in his city!
The news got even more exciting; the band’s bassist would soon be leaving. This gave Jonathan a wild idea: why not apply to be the band’s bassist himself? He knew all of their songs and was certain to be attending the gig anyway. Resolved on this idea, he began writing an application letter to the venue at which the band would be playing.
But what gave Jonathan the confidence to make such an application? And what would the band’s response to it be? Welcome to the mind of the unreasonable man.
Alex Melia, and the Stories of Men team are on a mission to uncover what it means to live an independent and meaningful life. We'll be sharing this knowledge with you every week.
We’d like to extend our appreciation to today’s guest, Jonathan. His energetic and optimistic perspective on life and the opportunities it can present is highly inspirational. It also provides a vital part of the puzzle as we try to piece together what it means to be a man in today’s world. [Original air date: November 7th, 2023]
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Check out the Stories Of Men website for more on this story
We're also on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram
A Fascinate Production
Mentioned in this episode:
Take The Man Test here: https://bit.ly/the_man_test
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It was cup final day and Sumit and his brothers were dreaming of victory. They had all travelled to Kiev to watch Liverpool play the final match in Europe’s premier competition. All the brothers had to do was navigate their way past the burly, gun-toting security guards and find their seats.
Once the brothers had entered the stadium, they were dismayed to discover that their seats were a long distance from the pitch. They also only provided a view of half of the action as a cinder block significantly obscured their view. The brothers would have to work together in order to save their big day. Would there be something one of them could say or do to get the seats they had dreamed of?
Today we reflect on the joy of spending special time with special people and we reflect on the unique bonds that only brothers can share.
Alex Melia, and the Stories of Men team are on a mission to uncover what it means to live an independent and meaningful life. We'll be sharing this knowledge with you every week.
We’d like to extend our appreciation to today’s guest, Sumit. His thoughtful and open approach to discussing family and community are extremely valuable and highly appreciated. It also provides a vital part of the puzzle as we try to piece together what it means to be a man in today’s world. [Original air date: October 31st, 2023]
Websites referenced: https://storiesofmenpodcast.com/ (The Man Test)
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Check out the Stories Of Men website for more on this story
We're also on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram
A Fascinate Production
Mentioned in this episode:
Take The Man Test here: https://bit.ly/the_man_test_som
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*Content warning: This episode contains graphic details of suicide*
George had been struggling with anxiety and depression for a while and he was beginning to lose hope that he would ever feel better again. He was living with his parents and had sworn both of them to secrecy about his current state of mind. But one evening his secret was revealed.
George’s parents had been out with friends and one of the friends had asked how George was doing. In response, she’d tearfully broken down and talked about how concerned she was about her son. Quite unexpectedly, her male friend offered to talk to him.
But how would George react to his secret being revealed? And how could talking to his mother’s friend be in any way beneficial?
Alex Melia, and the Stories of Men team are on a mission to uncover what it means to live an independent and meaningful life. We'll be sharing this knowledge with you every week.
We’d like to extend our appreciation to today’s guest, George. His reflective and open discussion of his own psychological challenges and vulnerability shows great bravery and is deeply appreciated. It also provides a vital part of the puzzle as we try to piece together what it means to be a man in today’s world. [Original air date: October 24th, 2023]
Suicide support: The Samaritans hotline 116 123
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Check out the Stories Of Men website for more on this story
We're also on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram
A Fascinate Production
Mentioned in this episode:
Take The Man Test here: https://bit.ly/som_the_man_test
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It was as ordinary a situation as you could imagine: Steve and his girlfriend were in Subway purchasing a sandwich. Steve had decided to go for the healthiest option available: a sandwich which was under 3g in fat. He’d chosen roast chicken, no sauces, no cookies and a diet coke.
But as Steve was eating the food in front of him, he began to get nervous. A voice in his head was telling him: “What you’re doing isn’t right, you’re going to get fat.” As soon as Steve and his girlfriend got home, he made his excuses and went straight to the bathroom. He aimed to ensure that the food did not remain in his system before the night was through.
What had led to Steve developing such an unhealthy relationship with food? And how did he manage to go from fearing food to becoming a chef?
Alex Melia, and the Stories of Men team are on a mission to uncover what it means to live an independent and meaningful life. We'll be sharing this knowledge with you every week.
We’d like to extend our appreciation to today’s guest, Steve. His honesty and bravery in talking about such a debilitating disease is profoundly appreciated. It also provides a vital part of the puzzle as we try to piece together what it means to be a man in today’s world.
[Original air date: October 17th, 2023]
Eating disorder helpline: https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/get-information-and-support/get-help-for-myself/i-need-support-now/helplines/
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Check out the Stories Of Men website for more on this story
We're also on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram
A Fascinate Production
Mentioned in this episode:
Take The Man Test here: https://bit.ly/the_man_test
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Adam is driving his teenage daughter to Oxford. During the 1-hour journey, a few meaningful looks are exchanged. He is trying to be strong, but he feels nervous about the future, nervous about the prospect of relinquishing control.
Eventually they arrive in a leafy suburb and are directly outside of a large building. Adam knows that this is the place where he must leave her. He goes to help her with her luggage but he’s told that he can not enter the premises. He has to let go now, he has to trust others to take care of her.
But how would letting go of control make Adam feel as a father? And would it be possible for others to help his daughter in ways that Adam couldn’t?
Alex Melia, and the Stories of Men team are on a mission to uncover what it means to live an independent and meaningful life. We'll be sharing this knowledge with you every week.
We’d like to extend our appreciation to today’s guest, Adam. His empathetic and insightful reflections on a period of his life which was so challenging are truly appreciated. They also provide a vital part of the puzzle as we try to piece together what it means to be a man in today’s world.
Episode references:
https://theleadershipenigma.buzzsprout.com/
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Check out the Stories Of Men website for more on this story
We're also on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram
A Fascinate Production
Mentioned in this episode:
Take The Man Test here: https://bit.ly/the_man_test_som
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Mark was outside the door, his brother was locked in. The student apartment they were in was rat-infested and in complete disarray. All Mark’s brother had access to was 20 sausage rolls, a bottle of ketchup and a bucket. It was Mark who had access to the keys.
His brother began by pleading with Mark to open the door. Then he started to threaten and scream. It was when his brother seemed to be losing his mind that Mark’s resolve began to soften. Should he let his brother out? Wasn’t literally holding him captive going too far? Despite his doubts, what began to happen within the 72 hours of captivity would change both the brother’s lives forever.
But why was it necessary for Mark to go to such extreme lengths? And what did this experience teach Mark about being both a man and a brother?
Alex Melia, and the Stories of Men team are on a mission to uncover what it means to live an independent and meaningful life. We'll be sharing this knowledge with you every week.
We’d like to extend our appreciation to today’s guest, Mark. His impassioned and unique perspective on what makes life worth living is both fascinating and stimulating. It also provides a vital part of the puzzle as we try to piece together what it means to be a man in today’s world.
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Check out the Stories Of Men website for more on this story
We're also on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram
A Fascinate Production
Mentioned in this episode:
Take The Man Test here: https://bit.ly/som_the_man_test
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It was March 2020 and Brad had just received confirmation that his current business model had become unworkable. A lockdown had been ordered following the pandemic, and the vast quantities of money that had been flowing through Brad’s account were set to disappear overnight.
Brad’s wife was in tears as she learned the news. But Brad knew that tears were not going to help him: this was a moment for action. He stormed into his office and, in a creative frenzy, put together a plan which might just be crazy enough to work. He then picked up the phone to call an old mentor. It was make or break time and Brad was more than up for the challenge.
What ideas would Brad put together to save his family’s livelihood? And what can we learn as men about taking action during challenging times?
Alex Melia, and the Stories of Men team are on a mission to uncover what it means to live an independent and meaningful life. We'll be sharing this knowledge with you every week.
We’d like to extend our appreciation to today’s guest, Brad. His unique and powerful story is both motivating and deeply inspirational. It also provides a vital part of the puzzle as we try to piece together what it means to be a man in today’s world.
Episode references:
https://www.bradburton.biz/
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Check out the Stories Of Men website for more on this story
We're also on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram
A Fascinate Production
Mentioned in this episode:
Take The Man Test here: https://bit.ly/the_man_test
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Jimmy was sitting in the waiting room thinking carefully about the decision he was about to announce. He had risen to a point of great success in his career, he was literally operating in the corridors of power.
He sat there thinking carefully about each word he was going to utter. Up to now, nothing had been announced, he could go back on his plan. Was he really making the right decision? Could he really be about to walk away from such a high-powered position to become a stay-at-home dad?
Alex Melia, and the Stories of Men team are on a mission to uncover what it means to live an independent and meaningful life. We'll be sharing this knowledge with you every week.
We’d like to extend our appreciation to today’s guest, Jimmy. His unique and considered reflections on life experienced at the heart of government and his decision to walk away from it all are both fascinating and revealing. They also provide a vital part of the puzzle as we try to piece together what it means to be a man in today’s world.
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Check out the Stories Of Men website for more on this story
We're also on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram
A Fascinate Production
Mentioned in this episode:
Take The Man Test here: https://bit.ly/the_man_test_som
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*Content warning: This episode contains graphic details of suicide*
It was a perfect storm of events and emotions. Dan had recently lost his mother. He’d had a number of business ventures which had not worked out. He was also struggling with his mental health. As a result, he decided to take a walk along the quiet streets at night, hoping that no-one would see him. He had a length of rope wrapped around his arm, carefully concealed from view.
He was searching for the perfect tree which he could attach his rope to. As he visualised his plans for the future, he was the calmest he had been in a long time. But what Dan did not realise was that this night would end up going very differently to the night that he had planned.
But what is it that pushes men to contemplate suicide? And what can be done to help those who are seriously struggling with their mental health?
Alex Melia, and the Stories of Men team are on a mission to uncover what it means to live an independent and meaningful life. We'll be sharing this knowledge with you every week.
We’d like to extend our appreciation to today’s guest, Dan. His frank and authentic recounting of such a difficult story shows remarkable courage and is profoundly appreciated. It also provides a vital part of the puzzle as we try to piece together what it means to be a man in today’s world.
Episode references:
The Samaritans hotline: 116 123
Middle Finger Club
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Check out the Stories Of Men website for more on this story
We're also on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram
A Fascinate Production
Mentioned in this episode:
Take The Man Test here: https://bit.ly/som_the_man_test
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Valerio grew up in a small Italian province. He enjoyed his life and was comfortable in his surroundings. It was something of a shock to the system, then, when his dad got a job in London while Valerio was just 12 years old. Valerio found himself moving to a metropolis, where he didn’t speak the language and knew nothing of the culture.
It was at his new school that life was most difficult. On just his second day, he found that he didn’t know how to find his classroom. Not knowing anyone and hardly speaking any English, he had no means of asking for help.
Would anyone be willing to come to Valerio ‘s aid? And how would such moments of helplessness make Valerio feel as a foreign male in the UK?
Alex Melia, and the Stories of Men team are on a mission to uncover what it means to live an independent and meaningful life. We'll be sharing this knowledge with you every week.
We’d like to extend our appreciation to today’s guest, Valerio. His sensitive and enlightening reflections on what it is like to be a foreigner in Britain are greatly appreciated. They also provide a vital part of the puzzle as we try to piece together what it means to be a man in today’s world.
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Check out the Stories Of Men website for more on this story
We're also on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram
A Fascinate Production
Mentioned in this episode:
Take The Man Test here: https://bit.ly/the_man_test
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It was a day as ordinary as any other. Luke was taking a leisurely stroll to the shops when he began to feel the strangest of sensations. He felt time beginning to slow down. He experienced a feeling of entering a parallel universe, a place where reality no longer existed. He was fighting a battle against his own sense of truth, a truth he had known for years.
The cause of these feelings was a car he had just witnessed of a very specific model. The colour was the same, as were the wheels and trim. Luke craned his neck in order to see the number plate. Would that be the same too? Could it be that the person he had thought he had lost forever had returned?
Today we focus on the powerful impact of grief, how it can affect us, and what men can do to process these intense feelings.
Alex Melia, and the Stories of Men team are on a mission to uncover what it means to live an independent and meaningful life. We'll be sharing this knowledge with you every week.
We’d like to extend our appreciation to today’s guest, Luke. His sensitive and thoughtful reflections on such a personal topic are deeply appreciated. They also provide a vital part of the puzzle as we try to piece together what it means to be a man in today’s world. [Original air date: August 29th, 2023]
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Check out the Stories Of Men website for more on this story
We're also on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram
A Fascinate Production
Mentioned in this episode:
Take The Man Test here: https://bit.ly/the_man_test_som
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“The Waffle Shop”, a podcast started by James, had been doing particularly well when he decided to throw his first ever live event. Everything was in place; however, as the beginning of the event approached, James began to experience extreme anxiety back-stage.
He was sweating profusely. His fists were tightly clenched. He couldn’t help but think about the repercussions if this event were not to be a success. When he finally heard the MC announce his name, he mechanically made his way to the stage almost blacking out in the process.
How would James’ first live event go? And why is it that so many men struggle with extreme anxiety when doing public speaking?
Alex Melia, and the Stories of Men team are on a mission to uncover what it means to live an independent and meaningful life. We'll be sharing this knowledge with you every week.
We’d like to extend our appreciation to today’s guest, James. His reflections on performance and vulnerability demonstrate an openness that is profoundly valued. His story also provides a vital part of the puzzle as we try to piece together what it means to be a man in today’s world. [Original air date: August 22, 2023]
Referenced link: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/the-waffle-shop/id1514646770
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Check out the Stories Of Men website for more on this story
We're also on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram
A Fascinate Production
Mentioned in this episode:
Take The Man Test here: https://bit.ly/som_the_man_test
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Matt was on his way to the fertility clinic in order to produce a sample for his wife’s IVF treatment. This would be the 7th time the couple had attempted the procedure and it would likely be the final time they would have the financial and emotional resources to do so.
At the clinic, Matt couldn’t help but notice how unconducive the environment was to achieving his goal. The wifi was dodgy and the only magazine available was Backdoor Boys, a gay publication. Despite such challenges, Matt succeeded in his mission, yet there would remain a much longer journey to be completed.
What was it that drove Matt and his wife to keep undertaking such a procedure? And how does it feel as a man to be so powerless during the IVF journey?
Alex Melia, and the Stories of Men team are on a mission to uncover what it means to live an independent and meaningful life. We'll be sharing this knowledge with you every week.
We’d like to extend our appreciation to today’s guest, Matt. His frankness and humour in talking about such a difficult subject are greatly valued. His story also provides a vital part of the puzzle as we try to piece together what it means to be a man in today’s world. [Original air date: August 15th, 2023]
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Check out the Stories Of Men website for more on this story
We're also on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram
A Fascinate Production
Mentioned in this episode:
Take The Man Test here: https://bit.ly/the_man_test
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It was a beautiful summer’s day and Kevin was enjoying a boat trip along a picturesque canal with his girlfriend and her parents. His in-laws had arranged the trip as a way to celebrate their daughter’s birthday and they were all appreciating the tranquil waters as their boat bobbed along.
As the trip was progressing, Kevin’s father-in-law asked him which sandwich he wanted. For some reason, Kevin found that he was unable to respond. In addition, he felt a pain in his chest. As he felt his body going into complete shutdown, he couldn’t help but feel embarrassment as he noticed that all of the attention was now on him. What had prompted Kevin to react in this way? And how would he feel after being the cause of “ruining” his girlfriend’s big day?
Alex Melia, and the Stories of Men team are on a mission to uncover what it means to live an independent and meaningful life. We'll be sharing this knowledge with you every week.
We’d like to extend our appreciation to today’s guest, Kevin. His honesty and willingness to talk about his own vulnerabilities is deeply valued. It also provides a vital part of the puzzle as we try to piece together what it means to be a man in today’s world. [Original air date: 8th August, 2023]
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Check out the Stories Of Men website for more on this story
We're also on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram
A Fascinate Production
Mentioned in this episode:
Take The Man Test here: https://bit.ly/the_man_test_som
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There was nothing that Arjun loved more than a wedding celebration. It was an opportunity for him to sing and dance and dress in elegant clothing, while also spending time with people he knew and loved.
On one particular occasion, however, Arjun was much less excited about celebrating as he discovered that the clothing he had worn at a previous wedding no longer fit. As a result, he needed to borrow wedding clothes from his father. The situation led to Arjun feeling both unconfident and depressed.
But what had led to Arjun’s weight gain? And why is it that putting on weight can so often have a significant impact on the way men feel and the way they view themselves?
Alex Melia, and the Stories of Men team are on a mission to uncover what it means to live an independent and meaningful life. We'll be sharing this knowledge with you every week.
We’d like to extend our appreciation to today’s guest, Arjun. The way in which he confidently and openly reflects on a topic which often causes so much shame and difficulty for men is greatly admired and appreciated. It also provides a vital part of the puzzle as we try to piece together what it means to be a man in today’s world. [Original air date: August 1st, 2023]
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Check out the Stories Of Men website for more on this story
We're also on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram
A Fascinate Production
Mentioned in this episode:
Take The Man Test here: https://bit.ly/som_the_man_test
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It was a beautiful autumnal morning and Andrew was thoroughly enjoying being at a Senior Golf Tour. During the event, a leaflet was handed to him concerning prostate cancer. He took it out of politeness and immediately shoved it into his pocket unread.
It wasn’t until many days later that Andrew chanced upon the leaflet again as he was about to take his dog out for a walk. This time, he decided to read it and what he read motivated him to get checked out; it would turn out that this would be one of the most important decisions he had ever made in his life.
But why is it that so many men refuse to see the doctor, even when they have symptoms? And what more can be done to avoid the 12,000 people a year becoming victim to one of the most prevalent cancers in men?
You can shape the future of the podcast. Jump on a call with Alex and give your feedback today - click here to book a slot.
Alex Melia, and the Stories of Men team are on a mission to uncover what it means to live an independent and meaningful life. We'll be sharing this knowledge with you every week.
We’d like to extend our appreciation to today’s guest, Andrew. The passionate and articulate way in which he shares his story and advocates for more men to learn from his experience is both inspiring and powerfully instructive. It also provides a vital part of the puzzle as we try to piece together what it means to be a man in today’s world. [Original air date: July 25th, 2023]
Website referenced in episode: www.prostatecanceruk.org
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Check out the Stories Of Men website for more on this story
We're also on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram
A Fascinate Production
Mentioned in this episode:
Take The Man Test here: https://bit.ly/the_man_test
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