Episódios
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Welcome to episode #219! This week, Braden talks through thirst traps, what they are and why and how we should avoid them!
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Resources
Pure Freedom Community for men 18+
Pure Freedom Journey for men and women
Book a FREE call (men)
Course for marriages
FamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriage
Online marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)
Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code RM30 for 30 days free
Podcast Hosts
BRADEN HAFNER
Braden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He and his wife Kristen live in Edmonton, Alberta. He knows all too well the destruction that porn use and addiction can have, and now wants to see people experience freedom away from porn. Along with that he is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com
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Welcome to episode #218! This week, Braden and Kristen, chat with author, and marriage and family therapist, Geremy Keeton, about co-authoring the book, Aftershock. They also discuss what a healthy pathway out of porn for couples can and should look like!
Resources mentioned in the episode:
Aftershock
Porn resources @ Focus On The Family
Online “click through” study via Covenant Eyes site
Aftershock Bible Reading PlanAsk a question
Have a question you'd like answered live on an episode? Send a voice recording of your question to [email protected]
Share this with your friends
Who do you know that can benefit from this podcast and other episodes coming in the future? Share it with them so they can subscribe as well.
Subscribe
Subscribe on any podcast app to make sure you catch new episodes!
Resources
Pure Freedom Community for men 18+
Pure Freedom Journey for men and women
Book a FREE call (men)
Course for marriages
FamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriage
Online marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)
Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code RM30 for 30 days free
Podcast Hosts
BRADEN HAFNER
Braden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He and his wife Kristen live in Edmonton, Alberta. He knows all too well the destruction that porn use and addiction can have, and now wants to see people experience freedom away from porn. Along with that he is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com
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Welcome to episode #217! This week, Braden and a special guest (his wife Kristen), chat with author, speaker, podcaster and counsellor, Debra Fileta, about her new book, Soul Care.
Resources mentioned in the episode:
Debra Fileta's website (www.debrafileta.com)
Debra's counselling network
Soul Care
FREE soul care quizAsk a question
Have a question you'd like answered live on an episode? Send a voice recording of your question to [email protected]
Share this with your friends
Who do you know that can benefit from this podcast and other episodes coming in the future? Share it with them so they can subscribe as well.
Subscribe
Subscribe on any podcast app to make sure you catch new episodes!
Resources
Pure Freedom Community for men 18+
Pure Freedom Journey for men and women
Book a FREE call (men)
Course for marriages
FamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriage
Online marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)
Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code RM30 for 30 days free
Podcast Hosts
BRADEN HAFNER
Braden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He and his wife Kristen live in Edmonton, Alberta. He knows all too well the destruction that porn use and addiction can have, and now wants to see people experience freedom away from porn. Along with that he is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com
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Welcome to episode #216! This week, Braden and a special guest (his wife Kristen), chat with author and speaker, Brett Ullman, on self care and why it matters for our health and from moving away from addictive patterns.
Resources mentioned in the episode:
https://www.brettullman.com/
https://lifecarecentres.ca/Ask a question
Have a question you'd like answered live on an episode? Send a voice recording of your question to [email protected]
Share this with your friends
Who do you know that can benefit from this podcast and other episodes coming in the future? Share it with them so they can subscribe as well.
Subscribe
Subscribe on any podcast app to make sure you catch new episodes!
Resources
Pure Freedom Community for men 18+
Pure Freedom Journey for men and women
Book a FREE call (men)
Course for marriages
FamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriage
Online marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)
Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code RM30 for 30 days free
Podcast Hosts
BRADEN HAFNER
Braden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He and his wife Kristen live in Edmonton, Alberta. He knows all too well the destruction that porn use and addiction can have, and now wants to see people experience freedom away from porn. Along with that he is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com
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Welcome to episode #215! This week, Braden continues the series on the patterns we need to beat porn. He continues the discussion on the pattern of community, and why it is so important in beating porn!
Resources mentioned in the episode:
See Episode 83 on how to properly disclose to your spouse about your porn use
See below to learn more about joining a group (Pure Freedom Journey)
Ask a questionHave a question you'd like answered live on an episode? Send a voice recording of your question to [email protected] or [email protected].
Share this with your friends
Who do you know that can benefit from this podcast and other episodes coming in the future? Share it with them so they can subscribe as well.
Subscribe
Subscribe on any podcast app to make sure you catch new episodes!
Resources
Pure Freedom Community for men 18+
Pure Freedom Journey for men and women
Book a FREE call (men)
Course for marriages
FamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriage
Online marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)
Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code RM30 for 30 days free
Podcast Hosts
BRADEN HAFNER
Braden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He and his wife Kristen live in Edmonton, Alberta. He is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com
MATT CLINE
Matt and his wife Louise raise their little guys, David and Oliver, in Edmonton, Alberta. He is honoured to do what he can to tackle the epidemic of pornography and sexual perversion in every way possible. Seeing lives and marriages get free and experience the love of God in profound ways is what drives him every day. He leads Restored Ministries, is a certified speaker and coach for the John Maxwell Team, and formerly played hockey in the WHL and for Hockey Canada. You can visit www.restoredministries.ca.
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Welcome to episode #214! This week, Braden continues the series on the patterns we need to beat porn. The third pattern in this series is community!
Resources mentioned in the episode:
See Episodes 5 and 32 to learn more about accountability!
See below to learn more about joining a group (Pure Freedom Journey)
Ask a questionHave a question you'd like answered live on an episode? Send a voice recording of your question to [email protected] or [email protected].
Share this with your friends
Who do you know that can benefit from this podcast and other episodes coming in the future? Share it with them so they can subscribe as well.
Subscribe
Subscribe on any podcast app to make sure you catch new episodes!
Resources
Pure Freedom Community for men 18+
Pure Freedom Journey for men and women
Book a FREE call (men)
Course for marriages
FamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriage
Online marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)
Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code RM30 for 30 days free
Podcast Hosts
BRADEN HAFNER
Braden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He has been married for 16 years to his wife Kristen, and they live in Edmonton, Alberta. He is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com
MATT CLINE
Matt and his wife Louise raise their little guys, David and Oliver, in Edmonton, Alberta. He is honoured to do what he can to tackle the epidemic of pornography and sexual perversion in every way possible. Seeing lives and marriages get free and experience the love of God in profound ways is what drives him every day. He leads Restored Ministries, is a certified speaker and coach for the John Maxwell Team, and formerly played hockey in the WHL and for Hockey Canada. You can visit www.restoredministries.ca.
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Welcome to episode #213! This week, Braden continues the series on the patterns we need to beat porn. The second pattern in this series is discipline!
Ask a question
Have a question you'd like answered live on an episode? Send a voice recording of your question to [email protected] or [email protected].
Share this with your friends
Who do you know that can benefit from this podcast and other episodes coming in the future? Share it with them so they can subscribe as well.
Subscribe
Subscribe on any podcast app to make sure you catch new episodes! Watch the podcast on YouTube here.
Resources
Pure Freedom Community for men 18+
Pure Freedom Journey for men and women
Book a FREE call (men)
Course for marriages
FamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriage
Online marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)
Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code RM30 for 30 days free
Podcast Hosts
BRADEN HAFNER
Braden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He has been married for 16 years to his wife Kristen, and they live in Edmonton, Alberta. He is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com
MATT CLINE
Matt and his wife Louise raise their little guys, David and Oliver, in Edmonton, Alberta. He is honoured to do what he can to tackle the epidemic of pornography and sexual perversion in every way possible. Seeing lives and marriages get free and experience the love of God in profound ways is what drives him every day. He leads Restored Ministries, is a certified speaker and coach for the John Maxwell Team, and formerly played hockey in the WHL and for Hockey Canada. You can visit www.restoredministries.ca.
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Welcome to episode #212! This week, Braden starts a new series on the patterns we need to beat porn. The first pattern in this series is prayer!
Ask a question
Have a question you'd like answered live on an episode? Send a voice recording of your question to [email protected] or [email protected].
Share this with your friends
Who do you know that can benefit from this podcast and other episodes coming in the future? Share it with them so they can subscribe as well.
Subscribe
Subscribe on any podcast app to make sure you catch new episodes! Watch the podcast on YouTube here.
Resources
Pure Freedom Community for men 18+
Pure Freedom Journey for men and women
Book a FREE call (men)
Course for marriages
FamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriage
Online marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)
Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code RM30 for 30 days free
Podcast Hosts
BRADEN HAFNER
Braden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He has been married for 16 years to his wife Kristen, and they live in Edmonton, Alberta. He is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com
MATT CLINE
Matt and his wife Louise raise their little guys, David and Oliver, in Edmonton, Alberta. He is honoured to do what he can to tackle the epidemic of pornography and sexual perversion in every way possible. Seeing lives and marriages get free and experience the love of God in profound ways is what drives him every day. He leads Restored Ministries, is a certified speaker and coach for the John Maxwell Team, and formerly played hockey in the WHL and for Hockey Canada. You can visit www.restoredministries.ca.
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Welcome to episode #162! This week, Matt and Braden talk about why we need to to have a better strategy than just "bouncing our eyes" when it comes to battling lust.
Bouncing your eyes is only a temporary strategy
When we are building new and good habits and breaking the bad patterns with addiction, bouncing our eyes away from images or people we are struggling with lustful thoughts about, can be a temporary way to deal with our triggers. However it cant be a long term-strategy as it is only a surface level behaviour. We need to do the work of going deeper and allow God to heal our hearts. The goal is to see people the way Jesus does and to show love to others. We need to see people the way Jesus does and when we do, we aren't enslaved to lust, but captivated in God's love for others.We cant blame lust on others
Lust is when we devour another persons beauty or when we are fixated on people being objects to be used for selfish purposes. It is okay to find people attractive, as God has wired us to recognize beauty. But it becomes a problem when we make the choice to fantasize about people, or to see people as a piece of meat and nothing more. One of the things we need to learn to do, is to not blame others for our "lust problem", as we have a choice in every circumstance. Otherwise we are enslaved to others and whether they are dressed inappropriately or not. That isn't to say we aren't careful and cautious about being in situations we know we can be compromised in, but that we cant bank on every circumstance going our way. We will encounter people that are attractive, people that dress inappropriately, and images that are tempting. But we have a choice in those moments, and as God works in our hearts, we can be content in His love for us and not longing for the sin that we once knew.Share this with your friends
Who do you know that can benefit from this podcast and other episodes coming in the future? Share it with them so they can subscribe as well.Subscribe
Subscribe on any podcast app to make sure you catch new episodes! Watch the podcast on YouTube here.Resources
Pure Freedom Community for men 18+Pure Freedom Journey for men and women
Book a FREE call (men)
Course for marriages
FamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriage
Online marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)
Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code RM30 for 30 days free
Podcast Hosts
BRADEN HAFNER
Braden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He has been married for 14 years to his wife Kristen, and they live in Edmonton, Alberta. He is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.comMATT CLINE
Matt and his wife Louise raise their little guys, David and Oliver, in Edmonton, Alberta. He is honoured to do what he can to tackle the epidemic of pornography and sexual perversion in every way possible. Seeing lives and marriages get free and experience the love of God in profound ways is what drives him every day. He leads Restored Ministries, is a certified speaker and coach for the John Maxwell Team, and formerly played hockey in the WHL and for Hockey Canada. You can visit www.restoredministries.ca. -
Ask a question
Have a question you'd like answered live on an episode? Send a voice recording of your question to [email protected] or [email protected].
Share this with your friends
Who do you know that can benefit from this podcast and other episodes coming in the future? Share it with them so they can subscribe as well.
Subscribe
Subscribe on any podcast app to make sure you catch new episodes! Watch the podcast on YouTube here.
Resources
Pure Freedom Community for men 18+
Pure Freedom Journey for men and women
Book a FREE call (men)
Course for marriages
FamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriage
Online marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)
Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code RM30 for 30 days free
Podcast Hosts
BRADEN HAFNER
Braden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He has been married for 15 years to his wife Kristen, and they live in Edmonton, Alberta. He is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com
MATT CLINE
Matt and his wife Louise raise their little guys, David and Oliver, in Edmonton, Alberta. He is honoured to do what he can to tackle the epidemic of pornography and sexual perversion in every way possible. Seeing lives and marriages get free and experience the love of God in profound ways is what drives him every day. He leads Restored Ministries, is a certified speaker and coach for the John Maxwell Team, and formerly played hockey in the WHL and for Hockey Canada. You can visit www.restoredministries.ca.
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Welcome to episode #6! In this episode, Mary Derkson gives us an inside look on what it's like to be a woman hooked on porn when culture still thinks it's an issue just for men.
Here is a brief summary of the episode.
33% of porn searches on Google are made by women
Women can get hooked on pornography in the same way that men can. Porn entices us and feeds us lies so that we keep looking it up, forming an addiction and an increased level over time.
It's hard to quit if you're not desperate
Mary had her rock bottom moment that changed everything. She had made attempts at quitting porn before, but her heart wasn't fully there. It was the morning after her rock bottom moment that she confessed her struggle with 10 friends. They showed her love, but pushed her to deal with her addiction as well.
RelationshipsIt's a lot easier on a new relationship to be able to truthfully talk about porn being a past struggle, rather than a current one. It gives you confidence that you can be open, it gives your partner confidence in who they're dating, and you feel better in your soul all-around, which leads to happier relationships with those in your life.
You are not the only person dealing with this
Know that you are not alone, whether you are a man or a woman. Many other women have secret porn addictions as well. Be careful on deciding who you are going to tell because they need to be mature enough to handle the news and love you back, but also hold you to a high standard. It is so important to get this out into the open.Share With Your Friends
Who do you know that can benefit from this podcast and other episodes coming in the future? Share it with them so they can subscribe as well.Subscribe
Next week, Matt and Braden talk about whether or not it's important to get free from sexual immorality in order to be used powerfully for God. Subscribe to get notified when the episode is released!Resources
Pure Freedom Community for men 18+Pure Freedom Journey for men and women
Book a FREE call (men)
Course for marriages
FamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriage
Online marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)
Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code RM30 for 30 days free
Podcast Hosts
BRADEN HAFNERBraden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He has been married for 12 years to his wife Kristen, and they live in Edmonton, Alberta. He is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com
MATT CLINE
Matt and his wife Louise raise their little guy, David, in Edmonton, Alberta. He is honoured to do what he can to tackle the epidemic of pornography and sexual perversion in every way possible. Seeing lives and marriages get free and experience the love of God in profound ways are what drives him every day. He leads Restored Ministries, is a certified speaker and coach for the John Maxwell Team, and formerly played hockey in the WHL and for Hockey Canada. You can visit www.restoredministries.ca.
WHAT IS PURE VICTORY PODCAST?
Faith-based inspiration to win at sex, conquer porn, and find purpose in staying free forever.
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SHOW NOTES
Welcome to episode #5! In this episode, Matt and Braden discuss the misconceptions that we can have regarding accountability and give 4 pro-tips for you to have powerful and effective accountability.
Here is a brief summary of the episode.
Accountability is key if we want freedom!
We need accountability to move towards healing and away from addiction. The shame and lies that porn use breeds work against us by keeping us from deep relationships with others. Powerful accountability is how we move away from isolation so that we surround ourselves with a community that helps us break the chains of addiction.Accountability needs to be properly implemented!
One of the reasons why accountability tends to not work is that we don't understand how to properly implement it in our lives. This leads to frustration and thoughts like, "I tried it and it didn't work." This leads to becoming jaded towards accountability.
Tip # 1: Find a Model, not a Mirror
One of the reasons we become frustrated with accountability is that we look for the wrong people to help us. This usually occurs when we find an accountability partner who is also struggling with porn. This is a problem because the fellow 'struggler' doesn't have firsthand knowledge about how to break free, so they can't help us in making a game-plan towards getting porn out of our lives. We need to find someone who is free from addiction because they know what it takes to get there, having already gone on their own journey to healing and freedom. We need to find a model - someone who is free that we want to become like!
Tip # 2: Empty the SuitcaseTelling the truth and sharing our 'full life disclosure' is an important part of healing. If we keep secrets and don't share the full story, we are holding back and won't experience true healing and freedom. We have to release the grip that the lies and addiction have on us by being open and specific. Powerful accountability partners will help us see our blind spots and help us unpack our lives in a way that we can learn from. Having this greater understanding about why we have porn in our lives will help us know the steps we need to take because we'll better understand the problem we are dealing with.
Tip #3: Use Someone Else's Muscles!
When we have porn in our lives, the very real temptation is to try and deal with it on our own. We want to beat the addiction ourselves instead of exposing it and bringing other people in to our lives to help us. But the truth is, we don't have the strength to overcome it on our own. Addiction isn't something that we can beat on our own because that is not the way that God designed healing. Healing is a relationship-based process. Inviting others into the journey and leaning on God to get porn out of our lives are absolute necessities. We can't do it alone!Tip #4: Partner with Software
Software is intended to be a tool used with powerful accountability. It is important as it gets us in the game. It gets you started on your journey to freedom and makes access to porn more difficult. It creates a physical and mental obstacle that slows down our thoughts at a time when our emotions are taking over. Establish in your thinking to view accountability software as a partner in your journey, rather than an obstacle that you're going to get around. It represents a choice that you are making to get help, to get healing, and to get porn out of your life. Determine in your mind that when you see the app on your device, it triggers a thought in your mind that says 'I am getting free, this reminded me that I need to go do...(something else)." It is also great for helping your accountability partner know what you are looking at and helps them understand your patterns.Accountability software we recommend: https://www.covenanteyes.com
* Use this promo code for 1 FREE month of Covenant Eyes: RM30Share With Your Friends
Who do you know that can benefit from this podcast and other episodes coming in the future? Share it with them so they can subscribe as well.Subscribe
Next week, Matt and Braden will invite their first guest onto the show! Mary Derkson shares the unique experiences she encountered as a woman finally confessing a secret porn addiction.Resources
Pure Freedom Community for men 18+Pure Freedom Journey for men and women
Book a FREE call (men)
Course for marriages
FamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriage
Online marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)
Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code RM30 for 30 days free
Covenant Eyes Free E-book, 'Hobbies and Habits'
Podcast Hosts
BRADEN HAFNERBraden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He has been married for 12 years to his wife Kristen, and they live in Edmonton, Alberta. He is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com
MATT CLINE
Matt and his wife Louise raise their little guy, David, in Edmonton, Alberta. He is honoured to do what he can to tackle the epidemic of pornography and sexual perversion in every way possible. Seeing lives and marriages get free and experience the love of God in profound ways are what drives him every day. He leads Restored Ministries, is a certified speaker and coach for the John Maxwell Team, and formerly played hockey in the WHL and for Hockey Canada. You can visit www.restoredministries.ca.
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SHOW NOTES
Welcome to episode #4! In this episode, Matt and Braden discuss the different lies that can dominate our thoughts and outlook when struggling with addictions like pornography.
Here is a brief summary of the episode.
Lie # 1: "It's not that bad."
This is one of the lies we tell ourselves to minimize the issue and make us feel "better" by ignoring the issue at hand. It stops us from truly moving forward and getting help. Instead, we stay stuck in our destructive patterns because we have buried our heads in the sand. If you're telling yourself this lie, you may want to take 30 minutes to pray and write a list of things that your addictive behaviour is costing you.
Lie #2: "It's too bad...I'll never be free."
Contrary to the Lie #1, this lie magnifies the issue. Believing the lie that the issue is too big to ever conquer keeps us stuck and beaten down. It creates a defeatist attitude that stops us from having urgency around our issue and reaching out for help.
Lie #3: "It doesn't effect anyone but me."One of porn's big lies is that it is a hidden sin that doesn't hurt anyone except the person viewing it. This is not true because it isn't a victimless behaviour. It hurts you and your loved ones and it negatively effects your current and future relationships. Along with that, consuming porn content tells the porn producer to keep on creating content that is degrading and horrible for the actors on camera to be a part of.
Lie #4: "One more time won't hurt me."
One big lie is that acting out "just one more time" isn't that big of a deal. However, each time we view porn, we become more inclined to view it again because it is so highly addictive and creates neurological and emotional patterns that are now even more ingrained in us. This makes breaking free from our patterns that much harder than it already was.Lie #5: "I look at porn because I have sexual needs that aren't being met."
Sex isn't a need! Needs are air, water and food; things that keep us alive. God did give us sexual urges so that we can learn to control our bodies in a way that honours Him. We are better off when we learn to deal with our urges in a healthy way - not through turning to porn or casual sex for relief.Lie #6: "I look at porn because I am a victim."
We all have hurt and pain in our lives, some much more so than others. But when we take on the identity of a victim, we can never move away from destructive patterns because we are giving power to the things or people that hurt us. Instead, we need to choose to heal from those experiences and move away from victimhood. God calls us "More than conquerors," which is the exact opposite of being a victim.Lie #7: "Porn can be beaten on my own."
Part of the reason why porn is so destructive is that it is often hidden. Shame and pride tell us to keep it hidden so that we never have to put up with feeling inadequate or judged around other people. However, God's design is that healing can be found only in community and He doesn't intend for us to beat this battle on our own.Share With Your Friends
Who do you know that can benefit from this podcast and other episodes coming in the future? Share it with them so they can subscribe as well.Subscribe
Next week, Matt and Braden will be sharing Four Pro-Tips for Powerful Accountability. Don't miss this episode as it will provide important understanding to what good accountability is - and what it isn't!Resources
Pure Freedom Community for men 18+Pure Freedom Journey for men and women
Book a FREE call (men)
Course for marriages
FamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriage
Online marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)
Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code RM30 for 30 days free
Covenant Eyes Free E-book, 'Hobbies and Habits'
Podcast Hosts
BRADEN HAFNERBraden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He has been married for 12 years to his wife Kristen, and they live in Edmonton, Alberta. He is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com
MATT CLINE
Matt and his wife Louise raise their little guy, David, in Edmonton, Alberta. He is honoured to do what he can to tackle the epidemic of pornography and sexual perversion in every way possible. Seeing lives and marriages get free and experience the love of God in profound ways are what drives him every day. He leads Restored Ministries, is a certified speaker and coach for the John Maxwell Team, and formerly played hockey in the WHL and for Hockey Canada. You can visit www.restoredministries.ca.
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SHOW NOTES
Welcome to episode #2! In this episode, Matt Cline shares details from his life, his battle with pornography, and ultimately, how getting free led him to starting a ministry to help others around the world.
Listen to his story and see what you can apply to your own life!
Here is a brief summary of the episode.
Are You Keeping Secrets?
Secrets keep us bound in pornography and often lead to other forms of harmful sexual behaviour. Matt kept his struggle with porn hidden from everybody for different reasons. At home, he didn't want to let his parents down. At the rink, he didn't want to confess to non-Christians that he had this struggle with sin. What justifications do you tell yourself for why you need to keep your struggle a secret? Let's expose them so that you no longer need to be bound by this addiction! Every time you confess your secret struggle to somebody, the shame will lift off of you a little more each time.
Red Flags
Don't ever be prideful in victory. Matt was free from porn for 2.5 years but then fell back into his addiction deeper than ever! Why? He says it was all because he relied on himself and his own will power, not on God's strength and seeking a deep relationship with Jesus. When he learned practical tools on how to do this, he realized that he now knew the key staying free forever.
On The Other Side Of AddictionLike so many people, God led Matt to turn his greatest area of struggle into a cause for freedom. He now teaches and trains people on how to get free from sexual addictions and how to help others do the same. God always has more in store for us. No matter where we're at, what struggles we have, or what we've done, God is always interested in moving us closer to His heart and into a life of greater purpose.
Share With Your Friends
Who do you know that can benefit from this podcast and other episodes to come in the future? Share it with them so they can subscribe as well.Subscribe
Next week, Braden Hafner will share his story of freedom from pornography and how a confrontation from his wife changed everything. Now, they work together to bring couples into a greater level of relationship than they ever thought possible. Subscribe at www.purevictorypodcast.com.Resources Mentioned
Pure Freedom Community for men 18+Pure Freedom Journey for men and women
Book a FREE call (men)
Course for marriages
FamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriage
Online marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)
Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code RM30 for 30 days free
Podcast Hosts
BRADEN HAFNERBraden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He has been married for 12 years to his wife Kristen, and they live in Edmonton, Alberta. He is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com
MATT CLINE
Matt and his wife Louise raise their little guy, David, in Edmonton, Alberta. He is honoured to do what he can to tackle the epidemic of pornography and sexual perversion in every way possible. Seeing lives and marriages get free and experience the love of God in profound ways are what drives him every day. He leads Restored Ministries, is a certified speaker and coach for the John Maxwell Team, and formerly played hockey in the WHL and for Hockey Canada. You can visit www.restoredministries.ca.
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Welcome to episode #1! In this episode, you'll learn how to conquer the quarantine that most of the world is facing right now in a COVID-19 world.
We believe that this time can be powerful for you to conquer porn once and for all, to get to know yourself, and develop a strong relationship with God and others. We think you'll gain some good insight from this podcast.
Here are some brief notes to help you focus on the main points.
COVID-19 has forced us indoors and has quarantined us from others. As a result, addiction to pornography has skyrocketed and is taking hold of people in a far more destructive way. But what can we do to combat an addiction in the midst of isolation and quarantine? This week's podcast will hopefully shed some light on what you can do to not only conquer porn, but come out of the quarantine stronger than ever.
Developing A New Routine Will Help Your Brain Create Healthy Neural-pathways
Get outside
Limit your screen time
Get up and go to sleep at a consistent (and reasonable) time, get dressed, shave or do makeup
Eat healthy and regularly
Exercise frequently
Look Inward - Don't Waste A Crisis
Make an effort to monitor your patterns. Take note of your emotions and stress points.
This is a perfect time to get to know yourself.Even if life isn't slower, it is different with no social outings and no live entertainment to watch on TV. Use this time of limited distraction to see yourself clearly.
Increase your self-awareness by writing down what you do when you are tempted or stressed and what leads you into those feelings.
Strengthen Your Relationships With God And PeopleReading the Bible at least four days per week and praying 15 minutes a day GREATLY decreases your likelihood of watching porn. Start small and make it a habit. Spend time getting to know God.
Invest in others. This may be the perfect time to work on a relationship that has taken a back seat to work or other priorities. Is there someone you need to reconcile with? This brings freedom to the soul, which leads to less cravings to act out in unhealthy sexual ways.Practice physical distancing but NOT social distancing - we need others so don't isolate yourself socially.
Be proactive in this time to get free from pornography and other unhealthy patterns. This time can launch you into freedom from addiction and a future that is porn free!
Share With Your Friends
Who do you know that can benefit from this podcast and other episodes to come in the future? Share it with them so they can subscribe as well.Subscribe
Next week, Matt will share his story of how he quit porn not once, but twice, and why he now doesn't live in fear of slipping up in the future.Resources
Pure Freedom Community for men 18+Pure Freedom Journey for men and women
Book a FREE call (men)
Course for marriages
FamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriage
Online marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)
Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code RM30 for 30 days free
Podcast Hosts
BRADEN HAFNERBraden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He has been married for 12 years to his wife Kristen, and they live in Edmonton, Alberta. He is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com
MATT CLINE
Matt and his wife Louise raise their little guy, David, in Edmonton, Alberta. He is honoured to do what he can to tackle the epidemic of pornography and sexual perversion in every way possible. Seeing lives and marriages get free and experience the love of God in profound ways are what drives him every day. He leads Restored Ministries, is a certified speaker and coach for the John Maxwell Team, and formerly played hockey in the WHL and for Hockey Canada. You can visit www.restoredministries.ca.
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Welcome to episode #207! This week, Matt and Braden talk with Nadine Crain about purity culture, what it is, how to address it and how to discuss purity and sexuality with your kids and within the church.
What is “purity culture”?
Purity culture came about in the ‘90’s when the “true love waits” movement happened. It was created in response to raising statistics of teenage pregnancies. Sex education in schools was not what the churches were wanting, so they were pushing the “true love waits” teaching. It was reactionary, but was coming from a good place of wanting to lead youth to how they can follow God and not fall into sin. Unfortunately, it became very black and white - if you stay pure, you are blessed, and if not, your worth suffers. It’s so focused on behaviour and shame and not based on the grace of God. So while there are good attributes to the movement, it has left a lot of people who grew up with it full of shame when they "mess up" and even when they don't, they get to marriage with no concept of how to have a healthy sex life.
We need to approach purity from a theological standpoint.
Purity has been associated with sex and marriage rather than being in God’s presence. Purity is meant for us to be in God’s presence. Nothing that we do will undo what Jesus did to get us into God’s presence. Having this understanding takes a lot of pressure off of wondering if we can approach God after we’ve messed up. God cleanses us, not anything we do. When looking at purity culture as staying away from sex until marriage and never addressing it until you say ‘I do’ leaves us unequipped to deal with sex in marriage.
It’s important to find the middle ground between “don’t have sex” and “do whatever you want”.
That middle ground is found in the conversations. Parents, leaders and teachers need to be open to the curious questions that teens and young people will have and be a person that they are comfortable to approach. Gauge the appropriateness of the age but keep the conversation open so when they are at the age to start dating it's more than just the “one sex talk”. Parents and leaders’ job is to guide to help them make wise decisions and be informed and equipped to make the decisions. By building up the theological explanations in your kids, then they will have what they need. It will help them develop in their relationship with God and can help them on the right path or find it again if they veer off.
Ask a question
Have a question you'd like answered live on an episode? Send a voice recording of your question to [email protected] or [email protected].
Share this with your friends
Who do you know that can benefit from this podcast and other episodes coming in the future? Share it with them so they can subscribe as well.
Subscribe
Subscribe on any podcast app to make sure you catch new episodes! Watch the podcast on YouTube here.
Resources
Anatomy for Kids by Shelly Metten
www.nadinecrain.com to connect with Nadine CrainPure Freedom Community for men 18+
Pure Freedom Journey for men and women
Book a FREE call (men)
Course for marriages
FamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriage
Online marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)
Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code RM30 for 30 days free
Podcast Hosts
BRADEN HAFNER
Braden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He has been married for 14 years to his wife Kristen, and they live in Edmonton, Alberta. He is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com
MATT CLINE
Matt and his wife Louise raise their little guys, David and Oliver, in Edmonton, Alberta. He is honoured to do what he can to tackle the epidemic of pornography and sexual perversion in every way possible. Seeing lives and marriages get free and experience the love of God in profound ways is what drives him every day. He leads Restored Ministries, is a certified speaker and coach for the John Maxwell Team, and formerly played hockey in the WHL and for Hockey Canada. You can visit www.restoredministries.ca.
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Welcome to episode #211! This week, Matt and Braden talk about changing our mindset to help find freedom from porn.
Challenging lies we believe is uncomfortable.
Often it’s the foundation we’ve built and we are standing on. We find comfort in it, even if it’s a shaky ground. We find that we would rather be on the shaky ground than on the firm foundation - where God is calling us to. We have to break the mindset of “I don’t think I’ll ever be free”. We tell ourselves that we can’t do something, even when we are already in the midst of doing it. But we need to tell ourselves we can, and allow our body to relax and let God pull you.
We need to let the grace of God replace the vice in our life.
1 Corinthians tells us that because of the grace of God, we have been enriched in every way. Within the context of our sexual sin, God’s grace can empower us and pull us and be the water we rest on. We need to pursue peace and be empowered by the grace of God instead of empowered by our own performance of how long we can be free from a behaviour.
The difference is not the capability, it’s the mindset.
When Matt succeeded on the wakeboard, it wasn’t because he had a miraculous skill set that appeared ten minutes after he had failed. When it comes to sexual sin, we all have the same capabilities to find freedom, because the ability is within the Holy Spirit. We need to make sure we have the right mindset. When we are focused on our stress and our anxiety, we are tense. When we are focused on the presence of God and the Holy Spirit, we find peace and freedom.
Ask a question
Have a question you'd like answered live on an episode? Send a voice recording of your question to [email protected] or [email protected].
Share this with your friends
Who do you know that can benefit from this podcast and other episodes coming in the future? Share it with them so they can subscribe as well.
Subscribe
Subscribe on any podcast app to make sure you catch new episodes! Watch the podcast on YouTube here.
Resources
Pure Freedom Community for men 18+
Pure Freedom Journey for men and women
Book a FREE call (men)
Course for marriages
FamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriage
Online marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)
Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code RM30 for 30 days free
Podcast Hosts
BRADEN HAFNER
Braden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He has been married for 14 years to his wife Kristen, and they live in Edmonton, Alberta. He is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com
MATT CLINE
Matt and his wife Louise raise their little guys, David and Oliver, in Edmonton, Alberta. He is honoured to do what he can to tackle the epidemic of pornography and sexual perversion in every way possible. Seeing lives and marriages get free and experience the love of God in profound ways is what drives him every day. He leads Restored Ministries, is a certified speaker and coach for the John Maxwell Team, and formerly played hockey in the WHL and for Hockey Canada. You can visit www.restoredministries.ca.
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Welcome to episode #210! This week, Matt and Braden talk about the connection between financial things and sexual immorality.
We are given the choice between life & death, between blessing and cursing.God implores us to choose life. There is no grey area. When we are not walking with God and walking in sin, there will be physical and spiritual ramifications. Choosing life and walking in the ways of the Lord brings blessings - both spiritual and physical.
Take a look at the blessings and curses.
If you take a look at the second order of consequences to having sexual sin in your life, it will help you realize where your heart is at so that you can be transparent. Our life has a lot of webs that are linked and we often don’t see how the choices in one area can impact another area. We tend to compartmentalize our life and miss those links.
Transparency is the first step.
We need to be transparent with God and others. If we feel we can’t pray, ask others to intercede for you. Be honest with God with where you’re at. Jean had to admit to God that he loved the sin but didn’t like the curses that came with it and had to ask for help to overcome and let go of it before he could work at getting free. That is when God showed up for him.
Ask a question
Have a question you'd like answered live on an episode? Send a voice recording of your question to [email protected] or [email protected].
Share this with your friends
Who do you know that can benefit from this podcast and other episodes coming in the future? Share it with them so they can subscribe as well.
Subscribe
Subscribe on any podcast app to make sure you catch new episodes! Watch the podcast on YouTube here.
Resources
https://www.jeanlouishardy.com/Pure Freedom Community for men 18+
Pure Freedom Journey for men and women
Book a FREE call (men)
Course for marriages
FamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriage
Online marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)
Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code RM30 for 30 days free
Podcast Hosts
BRADEN HAFNER
Braden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He has been married for 14 years to his wife Kristen, and they live in Edmonton, Alberta. He is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com
MATT CLINE
Matt and his wife Louise raise their little guys, David and Oliver, in Edmonton, Alberta. He is honoured to do what he can to tackle the epidemic of pornography and sexual perversion in every way possible. Seeing lives and marriages get free and experience the love of God in profound ways is what drives him every day. He leads Restored Ministries, is a certified speaker and coach for the John Maxwell Team, and formerly played hockey in the WHL and for Hockey Canada. You can visit www.restoredministries.ca.
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Welcome to episode #209! This week, Matt and Braden talk about P. Diddy, Kanye and Bill Hybels and the things that they were a part of, the loss of some of their reputations and the lessons we can pick up from them.
We need to be careful with how much faith we put into people.We don’t know what is happening behind closed doors for those who have a platform. Eventually things will come out and be exposed. Money and power won’t be able to hide secrets forever. We need to remember that we can see someone a certain way - often a mask or an image that is a created version of that person, so when details about their lives become exposed, it can be difficult to come to terms with.
We need to look at Christ first.
We need to put our faith and hope in God. We can still look up to and learn from people but have to understand that men or women we follow are in fact human and will make mistakes. When people who we look up to fall, it’s important that we still look to Christ so we don’t lose our faith. We can take what’s good from these people, but we need to be careful when we lift people as heroes. When looking to find freedom and healing, the best place to go to is directly in God’s word.
Following Jesus is an inside out life.
It's living out of an inner working that is done in our heart. What’s revealed in a Christ follower is the fruit of what is happening in the heart. The worldly approach is outside in. We focus on the outside at the detriment to the inner life. If we live from the outside in, we can start to create a persona or something that isn’t true so that we appear a certain way to others. Decisions can become more sinful and the inside can begin to rot. We need to follow Jesus first and allow him to work from the inside out and not allow the world to rule from the outside in.
Ask a question
Have a question you'd like answered live on an episode? Send a voice recording of your question to [email protected] or [email protected].
Share this with your friends
Who do you know that can benefit from this podcast and other episodes coming in the future? Share it with them so they can subscribe as well.
Subscribe
Subscribe on any podcast app to make sure you catch new episodes! Watch the podcast on YouTube here.
Resources
Pure Freedom Community for men 18+
Pure Freedom Journey for men and women
Book a FREE call (men)
Course for marriages
FamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriage
Online marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)
Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code RM30 for 30 days free
Podcast Hosts
BRADEN HAFNER
Braden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He has been married for 14 years to his wife Kristen, and they live in Edmonton, Alberta. He is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com
MATT CLINE
Matt and his wife Louise raise their little guys, David and Oliver, in Edmonton, Alberta. He is honoured to do what he can to tackle the epidemic of pornography and sexual perversion in every way possible. Seeing lives and marriages get free and experience the love of God in profound ways is what drives him every day. He leads Restored Ministries, is a certified speaker and coach for the John Maxwell Team, and formerly played hockey in the WHL and for Hockey Canada. You can visit www.restoredministries.ca.
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Welcome to episode #208! This week, Matt and Braden talk with Sam Black about his book “Healing the church” and equipping church leaders on how to talk about sexual brokenness in the church.
Pornography is undermining every ministry in the church.
The average age for first exposure is 8-12 and so our children’s ministries are being impacted by pornography whether we recognize it or not. If we don’t equip parents, we are missing the opportunity to protect them and provide them ongoing guidance. Pornogrpahy impacts our teens and youth ministry and marriage and adult ministries. Two thirds of men and one third of women in the church say they have an ongoing struggle with pornography. There is a direct correlation between pornography use and prayer, scripture life, church attendance, feelings about being close to God and doubts about your faith. A university study showed that there is a direct link between how much porn someone used and whether they would serve in their church over the next 6 years. It is important that the church is the safe place for people to go with their addictions to find recovery.
You don’t need a perfect plan - you need a first next step.
This will allow people to create that first step in their own lives. Every step leads to another step. The book breaks down the steps into “easy steps” - something you don’t have to think much about; there are “small steps” - steps you can implement without a lot of effort; then “medium” and “large” steps to lead into full recovery. Taking it one step at a time makes it easier and less overwhelming to accomplish and walk into recovery.
There are 3 common factors that ministry leaders miss for why people get stuck.
1 - Early childhood exposure. It’s so impactful on their brain that even as an adult they can tell you a complete story of that first exposure, but nothing else about that day.
2 - The ongoing use and repetition that burns neuro pathways in the brain to crave it more and more.
3 - Some pain or trauma that happened at a young age can happen elsewhere.
These three create pornography as an escape that has been done thousands of times. This is where a safe place and process comes in. The knowledge precedes understanding and understanding precedes change.
Ask a questionHave a question you'd like answered live on an episode? Send a voice recording of your question to [email protected] or [email protected].
Share this with your friends
Who do you know that can benefit from this podcast and other episodes coming in the future? Share it with them so they can subscribe as well.
Subscribe
Subscribe on any podcast app to make sure you catch new episodes! Watch the podcast on YouTube here.
Resources
The Healing Church - download the first chapter.Pure Freedom Community for men 18+
Pure Freedom Journey for men and women
Book a FREE call (men)
Course for marriages
FamilyLife Canada: Resources and events to strengthen your marriage
Online marriage resources (FamilyLife Canada)
Covenant Eyes Accountability Software - use promo code RM30 for 30 days free
Podcast Hosts
BRADEN HAFNER
Braden is the Regional Director in Alberta for FamilyLife Canada. He has been married for 14 years to his wife Kristen, and they live in Edmonton, Alberta. He is passionate about seeing marriages grow and thrive, and helping couples move to a deeper oneness with one another and with God. FamilyLife Canada has a variety of resources and events to help you and your spouse take your marriage to the next level. See what would benefit you at www.familylifecanada.com
MATT CLINE
Matt and his wife Louise raise their little guys, David and Oliver, in Edmonton, Alberta. He is honoured to do what he can to tackle the epidemic of pornography and sexual perversion in every way possible. Seeing lives and marriages get free and experience the love of God in profound ways is what drives him every day. He leads Restored Ministries, is a certified speaker and coach for the John Maxwell Team, and formerly played hockey in the WHL and for Hockey Canada. You can visit www.restoredministries.ca.
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