Episódios
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In this episode, we continue to delve into Transactional Analysis (TA), with our fictional client named Alicia. Alicia has brought two challenges to coaching; difficulty delegating and a tendency to please others.
You’ll hear about the concept of behavioural drivers within TA, which are behavioural tendencies that we learn in childhood and carry with us into adulthood. In many ways they are a strength, but they can be over-pronounced which can lead to difficulties and stress. In Alicia’s context the behavioural drivers that have made her successful in the past are now getting in the way of her being successful.
Listen to this episode to learn how, as Executive Coaches, we employ our knowledge of behavioural drivers along with other TA tools such as the Drama Triangle to support clients in increasing their self-awareness.
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In this episode, we dive into the practical application of TA in a coaching scenario using a fictional character Alicia, who represents a typical client struggling with saying no, setting and maintaining boundaries, resulting in potential burnout.
With Alicia as a fictional case study, we discuss how we might support her as Executive Coaches skilled in applying TA to our work. Building on the PAC model shared in an earlier episode, we use TA to identify possible triggers that might move Alicia into her child ego state when she feels lacking in confidence. We then talk about the importance of becoming trigger aware and managing one's state to shift into the adult ego state. We touch on the challenge of working with deeply embedded patterns and how this can be sensitively done within a coaching relationship.
We mention the Feedforward process developed by Marshall Goldsmith and compared with feedback it is generative and focused on the future rather than the past.
Listen to this episode to understand how the PAC model can be practically applied to a coaching topic, and how our client’s experiences earlier in life can affect their behaviour in the here and now.
Resources:
https://marshallgoldsmith.com/articles/try-feedforward-instead-feedback/
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In this episode, we build on our introduction to TA by introducing the Drama Triangle.
Explicitly using the Drama Triangle is a technique that is hugely valuable in supporting clients to understand the roles they play in relationships with others. Coaches love working with this tool because it is visual and easy to understand. We present the core idea that as human beings, we are relational, and in our relationships, we play what in TA is called ‘games’.
Listen to this episode to learn about how, as human beings, we can find ourselves unconsciously caught up in relational dynamics that are unhelpful. We tend to interact with others in different ways to receive recognition, and we may find ourselves feeling surprised, irritated, frustrated or even angry following an interaction with another person.
You’ll learn how insightful the drama triangle can be for supporting clients when they have brought some form of a relational challenge to coaching.
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In this first episode of Season 4 of The Coaching Question, we introduce the theme of the season - Transactional Analysis (TA) and its application in coaching.
We find that TA offers a valuable lens for coaching, and in this episode we briefly share some of the core ideas offered by TA and highlight how these can support clients to deepen their self-awareness and gain new insights.
Listen to this episode to understand where TA is positioned in relation to other coaching approaches. We share our perspective on the nature of TA, which encompasses both psychodynamic and in-the-moment techniques. TA reflects the importance of how behaviours learned and decisions taken in the past influence our behaviours and actions in the present. Given that TA involves an element of acknowledging the past, we also clarify the distinction between coaching and therapy.
You’ll learn how TA can be practically applied in coaching sessions as we introduce the concept of the Parent-Adult-Child ego states, and how, by raising awareness of these in coaching, clients gain insights into their patterns of behaviour. Transactional Analysis offers a very valuable framework for coaching, helping clients to gain self-awareness, challenge limiting beliefs, and develop new strategies for personal growth.
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In this special episode, we chose to reflect on endings in coaching. Gregor was one of four coaches who contributed to an article on this topic for Coaching At Work, and we wanted to take the opportunity to think this through together on our podcast.
We talk about the emphasis that is placed on the start of coaching engagements, and the importance that is placed on the results that are achieved. Yet, ending a coaching engagement well is a topic that appears to have received less attention, but is crucially important. Listen in if you’d like to learn more about how we can best end coaching engagements.
About the article:
Further to a webinar on ‘Ending Well’, organised by APECS (The Association for Professional Executive Coaches and Supervisors) in November 2021, there was a general recognition that very little had been written on practices related to ending with coaching clients. Wanting to address this topic further, four coaches who had attended the webinar penned an article for Coaching At Work. This has now been published in the May 2022 edition. The intent of the article was to start an inquiry, which may lead to further research that could define and propose best practices within the profession.
Resources:
Coaching at work - https://www.coaching-at-work.com/
APECS - https://www.apecs.org/
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In this episode we consider the relevance of leaders integrating coaching skills into their day-to-day work. We reflect on coaching as a mindset and an approach, which can be seen in the way they behave. We discuss some examples of coaching skills that a leader may begin to introduce to their repertoire, such as developing a coaching presence, creating space for others to think, active listening and demonstrating curiosity.
Coaching is highlighted by McKinsey as the number one skill citizens will need in the future of work.
Listen in to this episode if you are interested in learning more about cultivating a coaching style of leadership in your organisation.
Resources:
Mckinsey article - “Defining the skills citizens will need in the future world of work”: https://www.mckinsey.com/industries/public-and-social-sector/our-insights/defining-the-skills-citizens-will-need-in-the-future-world-of-work
Logical levels of learning: https://www.skillsyouneed.com/lead/logical-levels.html
Reference for Nancy Kline’s Time To Think Pairs process: https://cdn.southampton.ac.uk/assets/imported/transforms/content-block/UsefulDownloads_Download/BE99E9F85CF5447B8537AE3625B93814/Instructions-Thinking-Pairs.pdf
WAIT acronym - Why Am I Talking?
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In this episode we explore how we can use metaphors in coaching and how this wonderful tool, that is actually ever present in our language, can help coaches, their clients, leaders and organisations.
Metaphors offer us a symbolic language that goes beyond the limitations of the english language and provides us with a completely different way of expressing ourselves. This can be hugely powerful in coaching when, as a coach, we may offer our client feedback in the form of a visual representation of what we are seeing and/or hearing, or for a client to use as a way of expressing what they are feeling and experiencing. This can open up new learning and insights for the client, and enable them to shift their perspective and achieve transformational change. We share some stories from our coaching practice and reflect on the use and value of metaphor in our coaching sessions with clients.
Listen in to this episode if you are curious about the role of metaphor in coaching or if you’d like to learn how metaphor can facilitate change.
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In this episode we sit down with Anna Carus-Wilson of Frank Partners. Anna is a professional actor who works with leaders in business and we wanted to talk to her about the work that she does, and explore the parallels with our work as coaches.
Frank Partners are a team of highly skilled facilitators and coaches who bring the practical, playful, resilient and creative nature of the rehearsal room into the business world. They have a particular specialism in helping people to become more confident, brave and skilled communicators through their workshops and one to one work.Given that much of our work as coaches is about working with our clients to develop their impact, presence, credibility, leadership and communication, we knew there would be some similarities in the work we do.
We share stories as we explore how both actors and coaches create safe environments in which people can experiment and rehearse conversations, receive feedback and deepen their self awareness. We also conclude that just as actors are often improvising in the moment, coaches dance in the moment with their clients moving alongside them wherever they go - also a form of improvisation.
As coaches there is much that we can learn from actors, and for HR practitioners, there is huge value to be gained from moving towards more experiential and challenging behaviour change programmes.
About Anna Carus-Wilson:
Anna is one of the founders of Frank Partners alongside Neil Bett, and like all of the Frank team is a professional actor by background and training. She works with clients like Nike, Vodafone, Dyson, Burberry and News UK to create bespoke programs that help people communicate better.
Resources:
Patsy Rodenberg - 2nd Circle: https://youtu.be/Ub27yeXKUTY
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Imposter Syndrome often comes up in coaching, but it isn’t always labelled as such. It may show up as a lack of confidence, or self-esteem, self-belief or a drive for perfectionism.
In this episode we reflect on how, in our experience, imposter syndrome can show up in coaching. We share some of the ways in which we might work with a client who brings this to their coaching session.
Listen in to this episode if you’d like to learn more about imposter syndrome and take away some practical steps to help yourself or support a colleague for whom this may be a challenge.
Resources:
Meditation
I have a body but I am not my body
I have thoughts but I am not my thoughts
I have physical sensations but I am not my sensations
I have emotional feelings but I am not my feelings
I have beliefs but I am not my beliefs
I play many roles but I am not my roles
I am the self, the watcher who when present can choose in full consciousness
Loving kindness meditation - https://self-compassion.org/
How Women Rise by Sally Helgesen and Marshall Goldsmith - https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Women-Rise-Habits-Holding/dp/1847942245
What Got You Here Won’t Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith - https://www.amazon.co.uk/What-Got-Here-Wont-There/dp/1846681375
Overcoming Imposter Syndrome by Gill Corkindale - https://hbr.org/2008/05/overcoming-imposter-syndrome
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z29ptSuoWRc
Brené Brown video - it's not the critics who count - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8-JXOnFOXQk
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Onboarding is an area in which coaching can play a crucial role in supporting the successful transition of a senior leader. So often, organisations focus on the selection and assessment of the new hire, but the importance of setting that new hire up for success can be easily overlooked.
In this episode we interview Gillian Frame, an executive coach who does a lot of work in this space. There are many insights and observations that Gillian shares about the process of joining a new organisational culture. The key things for leaders to consider as they adjust to the demands of the role, the expectations of stakeholder and themselves and the way in which they establish themselves in the role.
Listen in to this episode if you are interested in how coaching can support transitions, specifically onboarding and a successful first 90 days in a new role.
About Gillian Frame:
Gill has been coaching in business for over 20 years. She works regularly with people who are preparing themselves to move into a new role or new organisation. Aside from coaching, she has a long standing bread-making habit and likes to feel creative by practicing her silver jewellery making and taking photographs, particularly of mushrooms and fungus.
Resources
The First 90 Days by Michael Watkins - https://www.amazon.co.uk/First-Days-Updated-Expanded-Strategies/dp/1422188612
HBR – Onboarding a new leader – remotely: https://hbr.org/2020/05/onboarding-a-new-leader-remotely
HBR When do we really need face-to-face interactions: https://hbr.org/search?search_type=search-all&term=Michael+watkins+hybrid
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In this episode we have a really open discussion about our experiences developing as coaches and reflect not only on the journey we have both been on to date, but the journeys we continue to be on.
Many coaches, when they first start out, can be quite focussed on particular models, frameworks or niches, but over time they learn through practice and their approach is always evolving. This is similar to Carol Dweck’s work on growth mindset - the concept that there is always more to learn.
We also reflect on our experiences of supervision, coaching, accreditation, mentor coaching, reflection and learning. Developing as a coach requires us to constantly learn, put our learning into practice, reflect on our practice, take our experience to supervision and learn some more.
Listen in to this episode if you are a coach keen to understand how you can continue to broaden and deepen your practice, and for organisations hiring coaches, listening may help you to decide how best to select coaches to partner with.
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In this episode we look at how concepts like birth order theory can be a gateway to insights into how we’re all shaped by our family of origin, which is where we learn to take on certain roles. We look into how valuable it is to explore the hidden dimensions that are playing out in our relationships at work.
We’re not interested in ‘doing’ therapy with clients, but we are interested in how the decisions made in early childhood are unconsciously playing out now. These will have worked for us in the past, but there’s a very good chance that these same decisions, programming, roles that we play, are no longer beneficial. We need to bring them into our awareness in order to make different choices.
Resources:
What Got You Here Won’t Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith - shorturl.at/gmFN4
How Women Rise by Sally Helgesen - shorturl.at/kuwF8
Esther Perel How’s work podcast - https://howswork.estherperel.com/
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In this episode we look at a relatively new area of coaching - Pairs Coaching. The main focus of this work to date seems to be in the area of Boards and Exec teams where the importance of robust working relationships built on trust, confidence and good communication cannot be underestimated.
Pairs coaching is an extremely effective way of building powerfully strong relationships between two leaders. Two coaches, highly trained in the Cape Cod model of Pairs coaching, work directly with two individuals to focus on the relationship between them.
We are joined by a highly skilled practitioner, Lucy Ball and get her insights into this new area of coaching, which is likely to have a profound impact on coaching within organisations in the future.
Resources:
More about Lucy and her work in pairs coaching - https://www.executivepairs.com
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In this episode we are joined by James Edgar, who comes with over 20 years experience in the HR field. We wanted to speak with James because he has the experience of being a user and commissioner of coaching as well as being an experienced coach himself.
We talk to James about what advice he would have for his younger self and reflect on his experience of leading a global people function through Covid. We reflect on how the pandemic has emphasised the need for connection and clarity and explored the role of HR in the coaching relationship. Often it is the case that HR commits the budget for the coaching, but can become disconnected with the coaching that is taking place.. Unsurprisingly he feels contracting at the start is crucial, and getting clear on roles and responsibilities is key.
Resources:
James Edgar on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/jamesedgar25/
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This episode’s question is “Why does menopause coaching matter for diversity, inclusion and wellbeing?"
We explore what menopause coaching can look like, the ethics around menopause coaching and of course learn more about the experience of menopause itself.
We found this episode fascinating and great fun to record with the energetic Kate Usher. She’s an experienced coach and change strategist with a specialism in menopause and gender equality. Kate’s also an internationally published author with a book called Your Second Phase: reclaiming work and relationships during and after menopause. She was shortlisted for the business book of the year award 2021.
Menopause is a life phase that's going to affect 50% of the population directly and the other fifty percent indirectly. Because menopause has for so long had this taboo around it we need some help in how to have productive conversations.
The confirmed statistic at the moment is that 10% of all women leave paid employment altogether because of menopause. However, it could be as high as 25% of all women leaving paid employment altogether because of it.
Menopausal women are the fastest growing workforce demographic so menopause has huge implications for not only diversity and inclusion but business performance overall. The business case is clear.
Resources:
Kate’s email: [email protected]
Kate on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kateusher/
Kate’s Website: https://secondphase.co.uk
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Welcome to this bonus episode, where we reflect on changes that have occurred since our recording on these topics, this time in Season 2, and some insights we’ve had since!
When we came back to look at Season 2, we noticed a theme around investment in time, effort & money.
Some of the things we look at include:
How the UK’s performance in recent Olympic games has benefited from the above mentioned investment. This relates to how making coaching accessible to everyone, or at least more of the population can get a great return.
One of our reflections from both seasons 1 & 2 is that the future, and the situation with Covid is uncertain, so coaching can prove an even more useful tool (as opposed to interventions like training). Leaders need to develop agility and resilience, another reason people need coaching to help them navigate uncertainty.
The Environment section of John Anderson’s Performance Coaching model, which he has used so well with Olympians.
How we missed diversity of thought when it comes to Diversity & Inclusion agendas and this was reflected in a recent government report.
Resources:
PinkCast on FeedForward - https://www.danpink.com/pinkcast/pinkcast-4-13-this-is-how-big-time-performers-get-the-feedback-they-need/
Linking Developmental Action Logics to Transformational Leadership Behaviours - shorturl.at/djnC0
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Welcome to this bonus episode, where we reflect on changes that have occurred since our recording on these topics and some insights we’ve had since. We started Season 1 in November 2020 when Covid cases were rising rapidly again with lots of uncertainty and we’d finished recording before Christmas and it was after this that cases took off in the UK so things have developed a lot since our initial episodes.
Some of the things we look at include:
How a return to work - or not is impacting on our clients - and the issues of the so-called great resignation.
Since we talked about team coaching, there’s been some interesting data that comes from The Team Coaching Studio, which we look at.
We also look back at mental health with some interesting data coming from McKinsey and Microsoft.
Resources:
YouGov Survey on Returning to Work - https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-58559179
The team coaching studio - 6 Team Coaching Trends for 2021 - https://teamcoachingstudio.com/6-team-coaching-trends-for-2021/
McKinsey - Returning to Work: Keys to a Psychologically Safer Workplace - shorturl.at/aiAG2
Microsoft - The Work Trend Index - shorturl.at/vwER4
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In this episode we discuss how coaching can stop leadership derailment. If you are interested in understanding how increased self-awareness of blind spots can help prevent leadership derailment - listen to this episode.
We explore how the use of tools such as the Hogan Development Survey (HDS) (the Dark Side tool) can provide insight into how strengths can be overused such that they become a hindrance to effective performance. Used as part of a coaching programme HDS, alongside other tools in the Hogan suite, can provide valuable insight and depth of understanding of why clients behave in the way they do, and why, when under pressure, their behaviour might negatively impact those around them.
Email us at [email protected]
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In this episode we discuss the use of psychometrics in coaching.
We use the Myers Briggs Type Indicator quite a lot to illustrate our points, as we believe the MBTI is one of the most popular tools in use in coaching. Other psychometrics mentioned include Insights Discovery™ and the Hogan Development Survey (the Dark Side tool).
Oftentimes, coaches are selected because they are trained in how to use a particular psychometric. An organisation might have a preference for a particular tool and this becomes part of the language of that organisation, and so it helps to be able to understand and share in this as a coach and be able to use this to add value to the coaching relationship. This also helps in team dynamics.
You can argue that a coach and coachee investing time at the start of the coaching relationship taking a deep dive into the coachee’s personality is time very well spent. It helps explore self-awareness and generally inform the goals for the coaching.
We share when it is appropriate to use psychometrics in coaching as well as our top tips!
Resources:
Myers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) - https://eu.themyersbriggs.com/en/tools/MBTIInsights Discovery™ - https://www.insights.com/products/insights-discoveryHogan Development Survey - https://www.hoganassessments.com/assessment/hogan-development-survey/Email us at [email protected]
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In this episode we are joined by the massively experienced coach Kim Gregory to discuss why a head teacher should invest in coaching.
Kim Gregory has been coaching in education since 2009. She works with all sorts of leaders, typically Directors and CEOs in Not-for-Profits, but she especially enjoys working with Head Teachers and Senior Leadership Teams. What matters most to her is to work with clients who yearn to grow and learn; who are seeking effective challenge and support and who want to broaden, deepen, consolidate and grow their range of leadership capability and thinking capacity around complexity.
This is an area that neither of the hosts have any experience in so it was enlightening to hear about what coaching can bring to this area that is of so much importance to so many.
Resources:
Kim Gregory Linkedin - https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimgregory1/Email us at [email protected]
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