Episódios

  • A senior leader, upset about having flubbed her reply to ‘Tell us about yourself’ during a high-stakes interview, talks with her coach about how to prepare for what she considers to be an incredibly stupid question.

    Categories in the archive to explore:

    Communication Skills

    Executive Presence

    Presentation Skills

    Six episodes to dive into:

    34 - Keeping Repeated Materials Fresh

    77 - The Power of Rehearsal

    65 - Sorting & Labeling

    180 - Becoming Expert

    114 - Gravitas

    124 - Personal Branding

    For help Sorting & Labeling, download the PDF.

    For help finding your three words, use our Needs & Values assessment.

    For a new way of thinking about interviewing: Interviewology, The New Science of Interviewing.”

    For career guidance, Michele Calderigi, head of Next Career, is a seasoned counselor.

    Lois Frankel’s Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office remains a favorite among senior women in the workplace.

    Curious about coaching? Reach out to Tom here.

    Free transcripts of this and every episode are available here.

    More resources are available in our monthly Essential News email. Sign up here.

    Safe and sane holidays, everyone!

    from The Look & Sound of Leadership team

  • A chief officer had known for years he was an over talker. His CEO, desperate for improvement, gave him a coach. This episode highlights their first coaching conversation.

    Two mindsets from this episode:

    When you speak, have a destination in mind.

    Ask yourself: “What is my point exactly?” and “Why is this something they need to know?”

    Pay attention to your listeners. Respond to their interests.

    Ask yourself: “Does what I’m talking about right now help us get to the destination?” If not, skip it.


    It doesn’t matter why you overtalk. Overtalking is limiting. Build your awareness of when you do it.

    Learn to ‘hear’ the communications you have.

    Who talked how long?

    What were the smaller conversations within the larger communication?

    More tools to build your self-awareness and communication skills can be found in the Essential Communications bin and in the archive of all 16 years of the show.

    Build awareness browsing these categories:

    Self-Management

    Perception – How You Perceive Yourself

    Develop your communication skills in this category:

    Communication Skills

    Five Episodes to help your skills are:

    53 - Answer What’s Asked

    65 - Sorting & Labeling

    20 - Staying on Track

    11 - Sounding Executive

    16 - Sounding Well-Spoken

    “Think Fast Talk Smart” podcast with Matt Abrahams. Great tools to help you be a better communicator.

    Curious about coaching? Reach out to Tom here.

    Free transcripts of this and every episode are available here.

    More resources are available in our monthly Essential News email. Sign up here.

    Coaches!

    Download the results of ICF-LA’s pricing survey here.

    Be safe, everyone!

    The Look & Sound of Leadership team

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  • A vice-president gets kudos for likability but knocks for her inability to listen. With her coach, she talks about listening repeatedly. This episode features one of those conversations.

    The 3 listening mindsets:

    Listen to learnFeelings are naturalStay separate

    Download the free multi-page learning tool about listening here.


    This episode is tagged in three categories in our podcast archive:

    Communication Skills

    Managing Yourself

    Relationship Building



    Five episodes you might listen to are:

    136 - A Breakdown of Listening

    83 - Leadership and Listening

    10 - Listen Without An Agenda

    229 - The Sound of Leadership & Management - 2023

    232 - Unlocking Executive Presence through Emotional Intelligence

    Coaches!

    Download the pricing survey here.

    Join us at the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group. We welcome coaches at every stage of development. Check us out here:

    If you’re curious about coaching, reach out to Tom here.

    Free transcripts of this and every episode are available here.

    More resources are available in our monthly Essential News email. Sign up here.

    To all of you, from all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, much gratitude!

  • Battling perfectionism and anxiety, a leader asks her coach for help and learns a tool that helps her tame her terrors.

    This episode dovetails with many ideas in last month’s episode about Coaching versus Therapy.

    Tom talks about his own bout with anxiety and a near career-ending attack of nervousness in this episode from April.

    https://essentialcomm.com/podcast/mastering-nerves/

    Pixar’s Inside Out 2 has a powerful depiction of a 13-year-old girl suffering a full-blown anxiety attack. The experience and its aftermath is moving.

    MindShift CBT is a free app designed to help you take charge of your anxiety and develop more effective ways of thinking.

    Watch the introductory video

    Dr. Steven Melemis, a mood disorder expert, wrote I Want to Change My Life, filled with practical exercises and a one-month step-by-step plan to start you on a road to transformation.

    In under two minutes, Tom shared a “golden nugget” on the “How to Survive and Thrive Podcast.” You can hear it here.

    This episode is tagged in three categories in our podcast archive:

    For Women

    Personal Growth & Self-Development

    Self-Talk

    Five episodes with more tools to help you master anxiety are:

    #52 Coaching v Therapy

    #152 Combating Emotional Hijacks

    #147 Conquering Fear

    #96 The Many Parts of you

    #78 Unmasking a Stand-In

    Curious about coaching? Reach out to Tom here.

    Want a free transcript of this episode? You can download it here.

    Every month we share more resources in our Essential News email. Sign up here.

    To all of you, from all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks!

  • Tired of feeling like a fraud, a leader searches for help down different paths. She and her coach talk about how coaching is, and is not, like therapy.

    The leader in this episode wrestles with feelings of being a fraud. Tom talks about three resources to help manage that feeling:

    “The Executive Impostor” Episode #176 of “The Look & Sound of Leadership”

    Self-Esteem at Work by Nathaniel Branden & Warren Bennis

    The Confidence Code by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman

    Additional tools to support your professional development are these free PDFs from our Essential Tools bin:

    Johari Window

    Readiness in Coaching

    You can listen to Tom’s conversations on these two shows:

    “I Need at Coach” with Adam Packard

    “Take Five” with Paul Butler

    This episode is tagged in four categories in our podcast archive:

    For Women

    Managing Yourself

    Personal Growth & Self-Development

    Self-Talk

    Four episodes, in addition to “The Executive Impostor” listed above, that will help you dive deeper into the ideas in this episode are:

    52 - Coaching v Therapy

    191 - Coaching Under Attack

    78 - Unmasking a Stand In

    171 - Taming the Wild Child

    Be in touch with Tom here.

    Grab a free transcript of this episode here.

    We share more resources in our monthly Essential News email. Sign up here.

    To all of you, from all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks!

  • A leader and her coach discuss a three-step model for turning upward feedback into a learning conversation that might allow the boss to hear the message.

    This month’s coaching conversation explores whether feedback should be given upwards in the first place. If so, are there ways to deliver the feedback effectively?

    Download the free “Giving Upward Feedback” PDF.

    In the commentary, Tom tells a story about the Marshmallow Test being debunked. Here’s the column he mentions.

    This episode is tagged in the library in three categories:

    Communication Skills

    Feedback

    Managing Up

    Five related episodes you might listen to are:

    74 Dealing with Emotional Responses

    14 Delivering Tough Feedback

    32 Giving Powerful Feedback

    118 Perception is Reality

    99 The Disruptive Executive – Part One

    Be in touch with Tom here.

    Grab a free transcript of the episode here.

    We share more resources in our monthly Essential News email. Sign up here.

    From all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks!

  • Knowing she’ll need to network to achieve her career goals, an ambitious leader asks her coach what a good networking conversation actually sounds like.

    Resources for Building Your Networking Skills

    Leverage the latest algorithm on LinkedIn with this research report.

    Coaching For Leaders podcast: “How to Grow Your Professional Network”

    Coaching For Leaders podcast: “Executive Presence with Your Elevator Speech”


    10 Rules for Networking

    Link to 10 Rules of Networking PDF in Essential Tools bin

    Sorting & Labeling

    Link to Sorting & Labeling PDF in Essential Tools bin

    The Look & Sound of Leadership: “Assume Equality”

    The Look & Sound of Leadership: “Being Concise”

    This month’s episode is in the podcast archive in three categories:

    For Women

    Relationship Building

    Social Skills

    Five episodes to grow your networking skills:

    162 - Acting on the Corporate Stage

    180 - Becoming Expert

    193 - Branding Yourself

    176 - The Executive Impostor

    192 - Pursuing a Promotion 2020

    Grab a free transcript of this episode here.

    Be in touch with Tom here.

    We share more resources in our monthly Essential News email. Sign up here.

    Listen to Tom’s conversation with Scott Ritzheimer on “Secrets of the High Demand Coach.”

    COACHES!

    Join us at the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group sponsored by ICF Los Angeles. You’ll get CCE’s, too!

    From all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks!


    #podcast#leadershipnetworking#growyournetwork#professoinalconnections#networkingskills#leadershipdevelopment#networkbuilding#careerconnections

  • An ambitious leader knows she’ll need to network to achieve her career goals. But, to her, networking feels slimy, so she asks her coach for help.

    Some core concepts from this episode:

    The purpose of networking is to know people.Don’t target people. Nurture a relationship.Make networking 5% of your job every week.Networking makes you a more valuable employee.Show interest in the other person. No monologuing about yourself.

    Listen to Tom’s “Flow” and “Fall” stories on the Coaching Stories podcast with Dr. Sam Humphrey.

    COACHES!


    Join us at the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group sponsored by ICF Los Angeles. You’ll get CCE’s, too!

    https://www.icfla.org/special-interest-groups-2/

    Be in touch with Tom here.

    Please help yourself to the free resources in our Essential Tools bin including one called “10 Rules of Networking.”

    This month’s episode is in the podcast archive in three categories:

    For Women

    Relationship Building

    Social Skills

    Five episodes to grow your networking skills:

    42 - The Art of Chat

    58 - Elevator Speeches

    242 - Mastering Nerves

    129 - Mentoring & Mentors

    66 - Networking

    Tom also mentioned an episode called Conquering People Pleasing.

    Grab a free transcript of the episode here.

    We share more resources in our monthly Essential News email. Sign up here.

    From all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks!

  • Before testifying in a high-stakes case, a theorist and his coach swap horror stories about their nerves hijacking them and the lessons they learned.

    Tom’s Top Three Ideas for Mastering Nerves:

    Celebrate Incremental ImprovementWrite Happy EndingsIgnore Your Nerves

    Here is the clip of Emma Stone battling her anxiety.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VkN0sPQ76E0

    Email Tom and tell him he’s crazy here.

    For Coaches! 2 Resources!

    1. Coaching Stories Podcast


    2. Executive Coaching Special Interest Group sponsored by ICF-LA. CCE’s given!

    Tom’s conversations with Neha Singh on “Bridge to Leadership” podcast are here and here.

    Please help yourself to the free resources in our Essential Tools bin.


    This episode lives in the podcast archive in these three categories:

    Managing Yourself

    Nervousness

    Self-Talk

    Five episodes to help conquer your people pleasing tendencies:

    Act “As If”

    Choosing Persistence

    Conquering Fear

    The Executive Impostor

    The Many Parts of You

    Grab a free transcript of the episode here.


    Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here.

    From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks!

  • Angry at himself for continually putting others’ needs before his own, a leader turns to his coach for tools. He learns a new way to think and a behavior to try.


    Be in touch with Tom here.


    Listen to Tom’s conversations with Neha on “Bridge to Leadership” podcast here and here.


    Our Essential Tools bin has free resources to help you build your look and sound of leadership.


    G.W. Bailey’s imdb page is here.

    This episode lives in the podcast archive in these three categories:

    For Women

    Managing Yourself

    Self-Talk


    Five episodes to help conquer your people pleasing tendencies:

    188 Boundaries

    165 The Conflict Conversation

    220 Holding Boundaries

    219 How to Set Boundaries

    116 Speaking Your Truth


    Grab a free transcript of the show here.


    Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here.


    From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks!

  • A vice president, struggling to control his team of artists, learns a technique for managing bad behavior from his coach. He likes it so much, he uses it with his high performers, too.

    The tool described in this episode is simple to understand but may take a bit of courage to implement.

    Courage can be taught. Brené Brown created her Dare to Lead course for exactly that purpose. Ready to build your courage? Reach out to us here.

    Find more resources to build your skills in the podcast archive. Search these categories:

    Assertiveness

    Feedback

    Management Skills

    Five episodes you might listen to are:

    #47 Discussing Difficult Behaviors

    #18 Holding People Accountable

    #138 Managing Disruptive Executives

    #127 Managing Performance: Up or Out

    #65 Sorting & Labeling

    A free infographic for Sorting & Labeling is in our Essential Tools bin. Help yourself to that and all the others.

    Thinking about developing someone in your organization, or yourself? Reach out to Tom here.

    Grab a free transcript of the show here.


    Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here.

    From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks!

    #podcast #managingbadbehavior #leadershippodcast #leadershipchallenges #behaviormanagement #leadershiptips #leadershipdevelopment

  • A leader is so furious with his self-absorbed boss, he considers quitting the company. He asks his coach to help him manage himself and defuse his triggers.

    In addition to the five strategies Tom talks about in this episode, there are lots more strategies in his conversation with Dave Stachowiak on Coaching For Leaders “How to Deal with a Boss Who’s a Jerk.”


    Tom’s wide-ranging conversation with Josh Dittmer can be found here.


    Free tools to support your professional development are in our Essential Tools bin. Please help yourself.


    Ready to explore coaching? Reach out to Tom here.

    Other episodes to help you manage yourself in difficult workplace relationshipsare:

    The Disruptive Executive – Part OneThe Disruptive Executive – Part TwoDon’t Take It PersonallyHandling Defensive BehaviorsThe High-Maintenance Executive

    Looking for a transcript of the show? Download it here.

    Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here.


    Thanks to all of you, from Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership.

    Happy, healthy, safe new year!

  • Tired of losing to more savvy players, a leader seeks to decode the secrets of playing politics, focusing particularly on company culture.

    Download our free Political Style Chart here.

    “The Secret Handshake” is a great tool for mastering workplace politics.



    Looking for a transcript of the show? Read it here.


    More tools are in our podcast library. This episode is in three categories:

    For Women
    Perception – how you perceive others
    Relationship Building

    Here are five episodes to help develop your political savvy:

    188 - Boundaries
    210 - How to grow your self-management
    67 - “I hate politics”
    142 - The Mindful Executive
    121 - Your Goodwill Bank Account

    Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here.

    Let us know how we can support you.

    Happy, healthy, safe new year. I look forward to being with you all in 2024.

    From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, Happy New Year! And thanks!

  • A leader feels stuck. She sees others winning resources she felt should have been hers, but she hates playing politics. What to do?

    Download our free Political Style Chart here.


    “The Secret Handshake” is a great tool for mastering workplace politics.


    Many more tools are in our podcast library. This episode is in three categories:

    Self-Talk

    Leadership

    For Women

    Here are five episodes to help develop your political savvy:


    187 - Agreeable Disagreement

    215 - How to Stay Calm Under Fire

    192 - Pursuing a Promotion

    207 - Tough Conversations

    67 - “I Hate Politics”

    Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. Sign up here.


    JAPAN!

    Email me with your suggestions for what we should not miss in Japan this December! [email protected]


    Let us know how we can support you.


    Be kind to yourself. Things are rough out there! From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, be well! And thanks!

  • A leader, surrounded by people she knows and trusts, can’t seem to get traction with them. In conversation with her coach, she discovers an unexpected cause.

    Tools for teams abound in this episode.

    The four tools Tom suggests as first steps for helping your team openly discuss ideas are:

    Say ‘thank you’ when people offer an idea;Be curious; don’t dismiss ideas or people;Don’t take differences personally; it’s not about you;Develop your comfort with disagreement.

    The Gradients of Agreement tool supports the ideas in this episode. Download it for free from our Essential Tools bin along with other communication tools like Sorting & Labeling.

    Additional tools for team growth mentioned in this episode are the classic Crucial Conversations and Tom’s conversation on The cATalyzing Podcast.

    This episode is in our podcast library in three categories:

    Communication Skills

    Leading Teams

    Management Skills

    Specific episodes that will help you develop your team are:

    Facilitating Open Dialogue

    How Teams Fight

    Leadership Behavior in Meetings

    Power Tools for Teams: Plus/Delta

    Questions as Leadership

    Taming Meetings

    Our monthly Essential News email provides links to even more resources. You can sign up here.


    To those of you who post reviews, thank you so much for supporting the show.


    Let us know how we can support you.


    Until next month, from Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, be well! And thanks!

    #podcast #TeamDecisionMaking #Teamwork #Leadership #ConsensusBuilding #EffectiveTeams #TeamCommunication #TeamLeadership

  • A co-founder, at odds with his partner (also his best friend!), reaches out to his coach for help saving the business and the friendship.

    The episode introduces The Conflict Resolution Wheel. Download it for free from our Essential Tools bin along with other communication tools like the Feeling Words Grid.

    The Wheel is based on a tool in the Couple Communication course, a program to help you understand and connect with your partner better.

    The course’s workbook, Talking and Listening Together, is meant for self-study. It’s available for purchase online.

    Another book Tom references in this episode is the classic Crucial Conversations.

    This episode is in our podcast library in three categories:

    Communication Skills

    Managing Yourself

    Relationship Building


    Five episodes that will help you continue to develop your conflict resolution skills are:

    Conflict

    The Conflict Conversation

    Creating Safety for Hard Talks

    A Difficult Conversation

    Resolving Conflict


    Every month our Essential News email provides links to even more resources. You can sign up here.

    Thank you thank you thank you to those of you who post reviews. You make such a difference to us. Thanks for supporting the show!

    Let us know how we can support you.

    Until next month, from Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, be well! And thanks!

  • A senior leader, having risen through the ranks, ends her coaching engagement by comparing notes with her coach about the skills that have helped her most.

    This episode identified seven essential leadership skills:

    Conquer catastrophic thinking;Use fewer words;Value relationships as highly as results;Don’t take anything personally;Commitment to Development;Reflection;Speak for Yourself.

    Resources to develop those last three:

    Commitment to Development

    The Executive Executive – an episode with a different list of essential skillsFour Factors Executives Need to be Successful – another list of essential skills [email protected] – my email address if you want help thinking about your own development

    The Ability to Reflect

    Mindfulness ResourcesBuilding Self-Awareness

    Speak for Yourself

    The Four Agreements – Agreement #1: “Be Impeccable with Your Word”


    Episodes to build assertion:

    Showing TeethThe Voice of AuthorityAssertion v Aggression

    This month’s episode lives in our podcast library in these three categories:

    Executive Presence
    Leadership
    Self-Talk


    Five episodes to help you with different skills are:

    Building Empathy
    “Don’t Take Anything Personally”
    The Executive Executive
    Personal Connections
    Short Sounds Confident


    Our monthly email has links to more resources. You can sign up here.

    All our infographics are available to you for free in the Essential Tools bin.

    Let us know how we can support you.

    Until next month, be well!

    From Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership, thanks!

  • At the end of her rope, a leader asks her coach for help managing a direct report who, she says, is the most defensive person she’s ever met.

    This episode was packed with tools. We’ve put them into an easy-to-understand infographic. Download it for free here.

    Kim Scott, the best-selling author of the electric book Radical Candor, wrote a short, friendly guide with tools for handling defensive employees. Find it here.

    Harvard Business Review’s Amy Gallo talked with Dave Stachowiak on this episode of the Coaching for Leaders podcast. As with every episode of Dave’s, this is indispensable.

    To work on “deserving” dive into The Four Agreements.

    To dig deeper into tools for taming defensiveness, search our podcast library in these three categories:

    Communication SkillsManagement Skills Relationship Building

    Five specific episodes on this topic you could listen to are:

    7 Steps to Stop Emotional HijacksBe Impeccable with Your Word Handling Defensive BehaviorsManaging Bad BehaviorManaging Disruptive Executives

    Sign up to get our monthly email with links to resources that support each episode.

    Calling all COACHES! Come join our Executive Coaching special interest group (SIG) sponsored by the Los Angeles Chapter of ICF. Check out our SIG and all the others here.

    Or shoot me an email with your questions. I’m at [email protected].

    All our free infographics are in the Essential Tools bin.

    Your reviews supporting the show help us continue as an ad-free podcast.

    Let us know how we can support you.

    Until next month, be well!

    Thanks from Tom and everyone at The Look & Sound of Leadership.

  • During her first C-suite years, a leader burned a lot of bridges. Her boss, who’d traveled a similar path, gets her a coach and sets only one goal: repair relations through emotional intelligence.


    Lots and lots of tools and resources this month:

    Free downloads:

    The Feeling Words Grid

    EQ Model

    Books and papers to sharpen your skills

    “Executive Presence: The Missing Link between Merit and Success”

    “The EQ Edge: Emotional Intelligence and Your Success”

    “Thanks for the Feedback: The Science and Art of Receiving Feedback Well”

    “Executive Presence” from Center for Talent Innovation

    This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library:

    Executive Presence

    Managing Yourself

    Personal Growth & Self-Development

    Five episodes to help you command a room:

    109 Building Emotional Intelligence

    146 Building Empathy

    155 The Human Element

    69 Leadership & Self-Deception

    17 Speaking for Yourself


    Please help yourself to any (or all!) of our free infographics in the Essential Tools bin.

    Our deepest gratitude to those who post reviews. Thank you!!!

    Let us know how we can support you.

    Until next month, be well!

    Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team.

  • A highly effective leader finds herself in the middle of a terrible mess, not of her own making. When her coach marvels at her ability to stay calm amidst the chaos, she shares a lesson she learned from her dad.

    In addition to the tools discussed during this episode, Tom also talks about:

    “Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High.”

    Conversations with Coaches – Episode #184

    Executive Coaching Special Interest Group

    The Feeling Word Grid

    This episode is tagged in three categories in the Podcast Library:

    Managing Yourself

    Perception – How You Perceive Yourself

    Self-Talk

    Five episodes to help you manage during difficult times:

    109 - Building Emotional Intelligence

    52 - Coaching versus Therapy

    152 - Combating Emotional Hijacks

    75 - “Don’t Take Anything Personally”

    171 - Taming the Wild Child

    All our free infographics are in the Essential Tools bin.

    Your reviews supporting the show help us continue as an ad-free podcast.

    Let us know how we can support you.

    Until next month, be well!

    Tom and The Look & Sound of Leadership team.