Episódios
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Adoniram and Ann Judson, were the first foreign missionaries from the U.S., departing for their work in Burma back in 1812. When young Adoniram approached Ann’s father to ask for her hand in marriage, he wrote these words: “I have now to ask, whether you can consent to part with your daughter early next spring, to see her no more in this world; whether you can consent to her departure for a heathen land, and her subjection to the hardships and suffering of a missionary life; whether you can consent to her exposure to the dangers of the ocean; to the fatal influence of the southern climate of India; to every kind of want and distress; to degradation, insult, persecution, and perhaps a violent death.” Ann’s father eagerly consented and released his daughter into God’s service for the sake of the spread of the Gospel. Fourteen years later, Ann died in Burma from smallpox. Are you willing to release your kids into into the hands of God for the sake of the spread of the Gospel?
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When we think about teenagers and addiction, it is important that we engage in preventive efforts in order to keep kids from getting addicted. This holds true when it comes to device and screen addiction, which will become more of an issue in years to come. Experts are telling us that if we would take time to set limits and borders now, we would prevent addiction and these marks of screen addiction: feeling uneasy or grumpy when you cannot use your device. Avoiding breaks while spending long periods of time on your device. Ignoring other activities including reading and going outside. Having trouble falling asleep or staying asleep. Physical issues including eye, back, and neck strain. Gaining weight due to inactivity. And finally, having difficulty conversing and interacting socially. Parents, life in our smartphone world is a life primed for addiction, that is, unless we intervene now keeping phones away from young children, and limiting screentime for older kids.
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When difficult decisions. . . or even the little decisions of life. . . need to be made, what authority do you consult for guidance? All of us make thousands of choices a day, and every one of those choices is made based on some standard or authority. For the Christian, it is the authority of God’s Word that should form the basis of all of our decisions. The writer of Proverbs tells us that the discerning person deliberately “sets his face toward” or “focuses the gaze of his eyes” on wisdom. In other words, biblical discernment comes when we intentionally focus on the truths of God’s Word, trusting that God has given us those truths in order to provide guidance in every decision, either large or small. What motivates us to keep our eyes toward wisdom is our desire to love, serve, follow, and ultimately glorify God in all things. Bruce Waltke writes, “The eyes of the wise focus on wisdom, which in turn serves them well, but the fool’s focus flits from one godless, unattainable thing to another that does not profit him.”
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Today, we come to the end of our week-long long look at researcher Ellen Galinsky’s new book about teenagers, “The Breakthrough Years: A New Scientific Framework for Raising Thriving Teens”. In it, Galinsky lists five things teens wish their parents and other adults knew about them. As Christian parents, we should pay special attention to the fifth message she heard from kids: “We want to learn stuff that’s useful.” Galinsky lists these skills as understanding other’s perspectives, how to communicate effectively, how to work with others, and how to set goals. While these skills are all good, we need to make sure that the way our kids understand and use these skills is rooted in the Gospel and a commitment to live a faithful life of Christian discipleship. In other words, these skills must not be used to advance the kingdom of me, myself, and I. Rather, these skills should serve the higher goal of bringing glory to God. Parents, nurture your kids in the Christian faith!
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Researcher Ellen Galinsky has released a brand new book about teenagers. It’s called “The Breakthrough Years: A New Scientific Framework for Raising Thriving Teens”, and it includes five things teens wish their parents and other adults knew about them. All this week, we’re looking at what Galinsky heard from teenagers. The fourth message she heard is this: “Understand our needs.” Obviously, we have a parental responsibility to provide food and shelter for our kids. But from the biblical perspective, we learn that human needs extend far beyond those that promote and protect physical growth and safety. As Christians, we know that our greatest and most pressing need is for salvation, and we know that God in His grace has provided a way for our redemption through the cross of Jesus Christ. Of course, it most likely that the teens Galinsky researched did not mention salvation as a need. But this is where we as parents come in, as we nurture our children in the Lord.
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Researcher Ellen Galinsky has released a brand new book about teenagers. It’s called “The Breakthrough Years: A New Scientific Framework for Raising Thriving Teens”, and it includes five things teens wish their parents and other adults knew about them. All this week, we’re looking at what Galinsky heard from teenagers. The third message she heard is this: “Don’t stereotype us.” Just like us, our teenagers don’t want to be pigeon-holed into stereotypes. For example, not all teens are anxious. Not all teens are addicted to their phones. And not all teens are entitled. If we label our kids in these ways we are setting the table for them to live into those stereotypes. As Christian parents, we need to not only recognize the unique ways in which they’ve been created and gifted by God, but their potential to live into God’s glorious and grand design for their lives, rather than some stereotype. Parents, get to know your kids for who they are as unique individuals.
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Researcher Ellen Galinsky has released a brand new book about teenagers. It’s called “The Breakthrough Years: A New Scientific Framework for Raising Thriving Teens”, and it includes five things teens wish their parents and other adults knew about them. All this week, we’re looking at what Galinsky heard from teenagers. The second message to parents is this: “Talk with us, not at us.” As our kids develop through the adolescent years, their brains are moving from thinking in black and white terms, to being able to think more abstractly, which means their on the pathway to having fully wired-up adult brains, sometime during their mid-twenties. As parents, we need to avoid the temptation to continue to think for them, as if they are still children. Rather, we need to think with them so that we might then train them to think for themselves. As Christian parents, we want to prepare our kids for a lifetime of thinking in ways that lead them to glorify God in all areas of their lives.
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Researcher Ellen Galinsky has released a brand new book about teenagers. It’s called “The Breakthrough Years: A New Scientific Framework for Raising Thriving Teens”, and it includes five things teens wish their parents and other adults knew about them. All this week, I want to look at what Galinsky heard from teenagers. First, teenagers say they want parents to “Understand our development.” I agree. We need to understand the different stages our kids go through as they grow. As Christians, we can see God’s grand and glorious design for human growth and development as amazing sequence of stages where kids mature physically, emotionally, cognitively, relationally, and spiritually. Gaining a working understanding of each stage gives us the ability to set realistic expectations for our kids, informs our approach to discipline, and gives us insights into how to most effectively nurture them in the Christian faith in age-appropriate ways.
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There’s a growing amount of research pointing to the fact that smartphones and social media are undermining the well-being of our kids when borders, boundaries, and safeguards are not enacted. Recently, the American Psychological Association released a report on the science of how social media affects our youth, specifically looking at the risks associated with content, features, and functions. One of the opening paragraphs of the report says, “Platforms built for adults are not inherently suitable for youth. Youth require special protection due to areas of competence or vulnerability as they progress through the childhood, teenage, and late adolescent years.” The report warns that chronological age is not directly associated with social media readiness. In other words, just because a platform requires a child to be thirteen in order to download the app, that doesn’t mean it is safe and harmless. Parents, are you tracking with the data that will help your parent wisely?
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As followers of Jesus, we must go to and trust God’s Word as the spotlight that shines truth on our understanding of gender. God, the Creator of all things, pronounced everything He created as “good!” But when He finished creating humans He said “very good!’ And what He pronounced as “very good!” was male and female. . . the binary genders He designed and assigned. . . male and female only, that are both fully human and equal in dignity and value. This is the way things are supposed to be. Jesus affirms this in Matthew 19:4 when He says, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female?” God desires that we never allow our feelings to dictate and misshape our understanding of truth. Rather, we need to submit our feelings and desires to God’s Word. Don’t ever forget, God in His goodness has created and given us each our gender, which is indicated by our anatomy, either male or female.
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When Christian missionaries go through training, they spend lots of time learning their message. Missionary training is centered on learning the Gospel so that it might be shared correctly. But the message is not the only thing they learn. They also go through lots of learning about the culture of those to whom they are being sent, along with how to best communicate in ways that can be heard and understood in that context. Parents, did you know that you are a cross-cultural missionary? As you raise your children in the Lord, your need to know their cultural context. Culture-watcher Aaron Renn provides some helpful information on our current parenting context. He tells us that since twenty-fourteen, we are now parenting in a world that has come to have a negative view of Christianity. We need to understand that this may create obstacles in sharing our faith with our kids, especially if they have adopted this view. Be sensitive to this reality, but faithfully speak and live out your Christian faith.
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When one of our kids came home from school and announced that he learned on the school playground where babies come from, I asked him what he had learned and from who. Not surprisingly, what he had learned didn’t even come close to the truth, so it afforded us an opportunity to tell him the truth about God’s good design for sexuality. Parents, here are three essential elements to good and Godly teaching on sex if we want to lead them in the right direction. First, we must teach God’s creational design. We go to the Bible to look at Genesis one and two, the teachings of Jesus, and what the rest of the Bible teaches on sex. Second, we must teach God’s design continually. It’s not just one talk, but the talking. Culture is talking at them twenty-four seven, and typically leads them astray. We need to talk with regularity. And finally, we must take advantage of cultural prompts. When we see or hear a message on sex, talk about it with your kids, offering the biblical corrective.
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Last month, I read social psychologist Jonathan Haidt’s new book, “The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness.” Over the past few years, I have found Haidt to be a trustworthy voice of reason regarding those issues that foster healthy growth and development in our kids, and those practices that are harmful. In his latest book, Haidt provides clear evidence of how smartphones have contributed in major ways to the teen mental health crisis. He offers these four common-sense rules that could change the narrative and help our kids. First, kids should not have a smart phone before high school. They are not ready for the addictive nature of smartphones. Second, no social media before the age of sixteen. It is addictive and fosters harmful comparison. Third, no phones at school. And finally, kids need more independence, free play, and responsibility in the real world. Our kids need to play without adult supervision.
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On this weekend when we look forward to celebrating Father’s Day, I want to remind the fathers who are listening of their greatest responsibility in life. In Ephesians six four we read this: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” If we are taking the time to carefully, diligently, and correctly teach the Word of God to our children, we will have fulfilled our highest calling as parents. Writing back in eighteen eighty three, English pastor Robert William Dale has this word for dads that still rings true today. “Parents should care more for the loyalty of their children to Christ than anything besides, more for this than for their health, their intellectual vigor and brilliance, their material prosperity, their social position, and their exemptions from great sorrows and great misfortunes.” Dad, on this weekend when you are celebrated, ask the Lord to lead you into how to best lead your kids.
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You’ve no doubt heard the phrase, “Garbage in, garbage out.” I remember my own youth pastor telling us that a car has been created with great care to run smoothly on the right kind of fuel. He used the illustration of what happens to car when someone maliciously pours sugar into the gas tank. It wreaks havoc on the engine, as it clogs the fuel filter and injectors. Of course, my youth pastor was teaching us about what we put into our minds. But I thought about his words when I read recently that researchers at USC are warning us that kids who feast on a high-fat, sugary diet run the risk of doing damage to their brains’ ability to remember. This is especially important for us to remember since our kids are growing through a period of life where their brain if forming and developing. While the researchers are basing their findings on studies done on rats, we can’t discount the potential dangers. Parents, you are called to teach your kids to steward their bodies to God’s glory.
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Advances in neurological science point to the amazing complexity of our God-made brains. Because their brains are still developing, our children, teens, and even young adults have what is called an underdeveloped impulse control. This makes them less prone to resist behavioral impulses and more prone to engage in risky behaviors perceived to bring some kind of immediate benefit, but which could also bring long-lasting negative consequences. In spiritual terms, this not only means that our kids are likely to lack wisdom and discernment, but more readily fall into sin. We need to teach them that as sinners, their default setting is to follow their sinful hearts more readily than they are to follow God’s Word. Which means that we must nurture them into knowing God’s good, life-giving Word, helping to expose sin. As their frontal lobes are still developing, they need parents who serve to train them in Godly decision-making and living.
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In a world where our kids are hearing that there is no such thing as the creational gender binary of male and female, and where they are hearing that they have the power to choose their gender based on their personal feelings and desires, there are a growing number of young voices who hope to turn the tide including nineteen year old Chloe Cole. As a young self-described tomboy, Cole was introduced to the idea that she could become a boy through social media. Parents, take note. After being diagnosed with gender dysphoria at nine years old, she began transitioning at age twelve, took puberty blockers and cross-sex hormones at age thirteen, and had her breasts removed at age fifteen. By age seventeen, she was detransitioning. Now, she is calling out those who supported and pushed her into transitioning. Parents, what young child really knows who they are? We need to help our children navigate this confusion, pointing them to live into their God-ordained male or female bodies.
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Earlier this morning, I went online and purchased a book with a title that grabbed my attention. The book is Linda Flanagan’s “Back in the Game: How Money and Mania Are Ruining Kids’ Sports – and Why It Matters.” While I have yet to read the book, the overview describes how Flanagan lists some ways that this frenzy and obsession is changing things for kids and our families, and not for the better. Kids are being funneled into specializing year-round in one sport. The risk of physical injury and mental health problems increases. Coaches and parents are engaging in egregious behavior. And due to the high cost of youth sports, there is reduced opportunity and access for low-income families. Youth sports are big business, and we need to realize that many of the invitations extended to our kids are being issued by individuals and companies desiring to make a quick buck. Parents, this trend takes youth sports, a good thing, and is turning it into an idol.
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“We did it, and we turned out ok.” Perhaps you’ve heard that line of reasoning from other parents regarding today’s teens and marijuana use. In fact, a government survey indicates that since 2015, the number of parents who believe there is a risk of harm from using marijuana has dropped, from just over thirty percent of parents, to just over twenty percent today. But researchers and medical professionals will tell you that we should actually be more concerned about the risks from marijuana use, as the impact of smoking today’s marijuana is actually greater on the developing and vulnerable brains of our kids. Experts report that in the 1960’s, the THC content of marijuana was two to three percent. Today, it is twenty percent or more, making it ten times more potent. Doctors are seeing increased psychotic events attributed to this increased potency. Parents, monitor your kids, and don’t approve of the use of marijuana or any other substances kids are choosing to abuse.
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In the story of Noah, a righteous man who walked blamelessly with God, we see God’s grief over humankind’s sin. And while God chooses to cleanse the earth through a flood, he also chooses to make a covenant with humanity to never again destroy the earth through a flood. The mark of this gracious promise is the rainbow. As a sign of God’s promise of grace, the rainbow should point us to exhibit a response of humble gratitude marked by obedience to God’s will and way for our lives, rather than a pride-filled life where we follow our own will and way for our lives. In today’s world, the image of the rainbow is used as a symbol of pride. Sadly, this steals the rainbow away from what it was originally established to symbolize. Whenever you see the rainbow. . . in the sky, on a flag, wherever. . . don’t think of it as a sign of pride and human autonomy, but as a sign of humility and dependence on God who has offered up his own son to redeem us from our sin and pride.
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