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Hello my dears!
I am Johanna Draconis and I am going shortly into what is going on and why I’m on hiatus.
First on social media. I am going to restructure things and have plans and my silly brain decided that means I can’t post anything in the meantime.
Second - I have been still dealing with torture - as I seriously underestimated how much it would slow down the closer I got to the early years.
Then everything slowed more and more down - which wasn’t surprising given that my life got more and more on fire - and it got really hard to work and I genuinely thought I had burn out.
But then I got those CPTSD nightmares after last episode and after some looking I found the reason: A gigantic cluster trauma - the biggest and strongest I have ever encountered.
Which is unsurprising given it is strongly connected to torture and early in life. How did I overlook it? Well turns out it was hidden within the torture and with that removal it got active. A sort of really bad parting gift.
Now will I win? Yes - 99% sure.I have the skill, knowledge and tools, but I really have to focus on it and myself now - and this work especially hits too close to home. I am optimistic I can get back to work very soon.
I hope you are all well
Take care and stay safe!Contact: [email protected]
Website: www.johannadraconis.com
www.johannadraconis.com/archive-collection
support me:
https://ko-fi.com/johannadraconis
https://paypal.me/Johannadraconis
Discord/support group:
https://discord.io/JohannaDraconis
https://discord.gg/mEAgpqjuhF
twitter: https://twitter.com/JohannaDraconis
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youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCR_eyifiglAs0knS4huMwoQ
https://www.youtube.com/@johannadraconis
reddit archive: https://www.reddit.com/r/DraconisCPTSDarchive/
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Hello my dears!
I am Johanna Draconis and I wanted to give this sign of life.Life is kind of on fire right now - thanks to the weather almost also literally - and I need to focus on that. Things should be back to normal soon - and I’m looking forward to that.
But since it’s the 4th of July and I know many in my audience will likely suffer, I also wanted to remind that it is okay on some days to have a blackout day. To remove just everything one can from the timetable.
So that only the absolute necessary and wanted remains. To spoil oneself on such a day and practice self care. Healing isn’t just about the progress we make but also the damage we prevent. And sometimes all we can focus on is limiting the damage we take.
The more rested, relaxed, happy and in good company you are - the less severe the symptoms and likely the trigger are. Or in short: Be kind to yourself.
I hope to see you again soon
Take care and stay safeContact: [email protected]
Website: www.johannadraconis.com
www.johannadraconis.com/archive-collection
support me:
https://ko-fi.com/johannadraconis
https://paypal.me/Johannadraconis
Discord/support group:
https://discord.io/JohannaDraconis
https://discord.gg/mEAgpqjuhF
twitter: https://twitter.com/JohannaDraconis
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/JohannaDraconis/
youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCR_eyifiglAs0knS4huMwoQ
https://www.youtube.com/@johannadraconis
reddit archive: https://www.reddit.com/r/DraconisCPTSDarchive/
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In this episode we will talk about being lonely/loneliness and the hole inside that causes all of it. There is a loneliness epidemic that keeps spreading and cause a lot of suffering. But why do we all feel so lonely? What is causing this feeling? And what can we do about it?
We first get into lonely/alone, then the hole inside, then how it escalates, then how loneliness spreads and then how to stop it.
Contact: [email protected]
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/episode176Contact: [email protected]
Website: www.johannadraconis.com
www.johannadraconis.com/archive-collection
support me:
https://ko-fi.com/johannadraconis
https://paypal.me/Johannadraconis
Discord/support group:
https://discord.io/JohannaDraconis
https://discord.gg/mEAgpqjuhF
twitter: https://twitter.com/JohannaDraconis
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/JohannaDraconis/
youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCR_eyifiglAs0knS4huMwoQ
https://www.youtube.com/@johannadraconis
reddit archive: https://www.reddit.com/r/DraconisCPTSDarchive/
reddit convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/DraconisCPTSDtalk/
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In this episode we will talk about abuse language - the language that is designed to weaken the victim and used as a weapon by the abuser to maintain and expand their control over the victim. Abuse language is hard to explain if you don’t know the mechanics.
We first talk about deniability, then teaching the language, then the slow game and then planting the seeds.
Contact: [email protected]
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/episode175Contact: [email protected]
Website: www.johannadraconis.com
www.johannadraconis.com/archive-collection
support me:
https://ko-fi.com/johannadraconis
https://paypal.me/Johannadraconis
Discord/support group:
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twitter: https://twitter.com/JohannaDraconis
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youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCR_eyifiglAs0knS4huMwoQ
https://www.youtube.com/@johannadraconis
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reddit convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/DraconisCPTSDtalk/
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In this episode we will talk about flashbacks - the most known symptom of PTSD - and wrongly assumed to be a central requirement for having any form of PTSD.
Flashbacks are often referred to something along the lines of “having flashbacks like I have PTSD”. But unlike what many think it is only a severe symptom and not a requirement for PTSD. It is a sign that PTSD is in its more severe stages and needs to be addressed NOW.
We first talk about what are flashbacks, then what causes them, then when do they appear, then what can we do about them and then how can we use them.
Contact: [email protected]
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/episode174Contact: [email protected]
Website: www.johannadraconis.com
www.johannadraconis.com/archive-collection
support me:
https://ko-fi.com/johannadraconis
https://paypal.me/Johannadraconis
Discord/support group:
https://discord.io/JohannaDraconis
https://discord.gg/mEAgpqjuhF
twitter: https://twitter.com/JohannaDraconis
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/JohannaDraconis/
youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCR_eyifiglAs0knS4huMwoQ
https://www.youtube.com/@johannadraconis
reddit archive: https://www.reddit.com/r/DraconisCPTSDarchive/
reddit convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/DraconisCPTSDtalk/
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In this episode we will talk about how abusers keep control over us - even long after we are out of that situation it can still apply. Especially if we were children at the time and we learned this to be “normal”. We need to understand to recognize and unlearn it.
We first talk about abuse language, then always on edge, then redefining normal, then always assumed guilty, then sabotaging skills, then sugar and pain and then isolation.
https://www.choosingtherapy.com/narcissistic-manipulation-tactics/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/narcissism-demystified/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/addiction-and-recovery/
Contact: [email protected]
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/episode173Contact: [email protected]
Website: www.johannadraconis.com
www.johannadraconis.com/archive-collection
support me:
https://ko-fi.com/johannadraconis
https://paypal.me/Johannadraconis
Discord/support group:
https://discord.io/JohannaDraconis
https://discord.gg/mEAgpqjuhF
twitter: https://twitter.com/JohannaDraconis
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/JohannaDraconis/
youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCR_eyifiglAs0knS4huMwoQ
https://www.youtube.com/@johannadraconis
reddit archive: https://www.reddit.com/r/DraconisCPTSDarchive/
reddit convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/DraconisCPTSDtalk/
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In this episode we will talk about fate - in particular about the fate of those marked by trauma. Are we bound to be victims or abusers? That is a question I am sure many of you have asked when only these 2 fates seem to be available. But there is more.
We first talk about how it starts, then the roadblocks, then the destructive outcomes, then the productive outcomes and then how it ends.
Contact: [email protected]
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/episode172
The Quote: Criminal Minds S1E8
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: You were just responding to what you learned, Vincent. When you grow up in an environment like that, an extremely abusive, violent household... it's not surprising that some people grow up to become killers.
Vincent Perotta: "Some people"?
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: What's that?
Vincent Perotta: You said "some people grow up to become killers."
Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner: And some people grow up to catch them.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0550491/quotes/Contact: [email protected]
Website: www.johannadraconis.com
www.johannadraconis.com/archive-collection
support me:
https://ko-fi.com/johannadraconis
https://paypal.me/Johannadraconis
Discord/support group:
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https://discord.gg/mEAgpqjuhF
twitter: https://twitter.com/JohannaDraconis
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/JohannaDraconis/
youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCR_eyifiglAs0knS4huMwoQ
https://www.youtube.com/@johannadraconis
reddit archive: https://www.reddit.com/r/DraconisCPTSDarchive/
reddit convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/DraconisCPTSDtalk/
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In this episode we will talk about what a healthy relationship looks like. The perfect relationship depends - of course - on your preferences, life and so much more. That is a science of and on itself. We just focus on a healthy relationship, that has the best chances to last and bring you happiness.
We first talk about communication, then respect, then shared values and goals, then conflict, then support and then emotional stability
Contact: [email protected]
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/episode171Contact: [email protected]
Website: www.johannadraconis.com
www.johannadraconis.com/archive-collection
support me:
https://ko-fi.com/johannadraconis
https://paypal.me/Johannadraconis
Discord/support group:
https://discord.io/JohannaDraconis
https://discord.gg/mEAgpqjuhF
twitter: https://twitter.com/JohannaDraconis
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/JohannaDraconis/
youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCR_eyifiglAs0knS4huMwoQ
https://www.youtube.com/@johannadraconis
reddit archive: https://www.reddit.com/r/DraconisCPTSDarchive/
reddit convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/DraconisCPTSDtalk/
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In this episode we talk about how love is not enough.
Though this episode is going to be a bit different again, because - for one - it is something that is so deeply painful and hard to accept - that it is very difficult to talk about it. A deep wound almost all of us share. Some in great - some in lesser extent.
Contact: [email protected]
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/episode170Contact: [email protected]
Website: www.johannadraconis.com
www.johannadraconis.com/archive-collection
support me:
https://ko-fi.com/johannadraconis
https://paypal.me/Johannadraconis
Discord/support group:
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https://discord.gg/mEAgpqjuhF
twitter: https://twitter.com/JohannaDraconis
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youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCR_eyifiglAs0knS4huMwoQ
https://www.youtube.com/@johannadraconis
reddit archive: https://www.reddit.com/r/DraconisCPTSDarchive/
reddit convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/DraconisCPTSDtalk/
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In this episode we will talk about building up your support system - especially about solutions until new relationships are possible, which I forgot to address last time and offered just an answer, but not a solution. Your healing progress is a long journey - and good company makes it a lot easier and enjoyable.
We first talk about online groups, then online games, then animals and then local groups.
Contact: [email protected]
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/episode169Contact: [email protected]
Website: www.johannadraconis.com
www.johannadraconis.com/archive-collection
support me:
https://ko-fi.com/johannadraconis
https://paypal.me/Johannadraconis
Discord/support group:
https://discord.io/JohannaDraconis
https://discord.gg/mEAgpqjuhF
twitter: https://twitter.com/JohannaDraconis
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/JohannaDraconis/
youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCR_eyifiglAs0knS4huMwoQ
https://www.youtube.com/@johannadraconis
reddit archive: https://www.reddit.com/r/DraconisCPTSDarchive/
reddit convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/DraconisCPTSDtalk/
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In this episode we will talk about being ready for a healthy relationship - a burning question for most. Which is understandable as a partner is invaluable in life - be it a romantic or platonic partner.
We first talk about stable situation, then emotional range, then taking care of others and then the checklist.
Contact: [email protected]
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/episode168Contact: [email protected]
Website: www.johannadraconis.com
www.johannadraconis.com/archive-collection
support me:
https://ko-fi.com/johannadraconis
https://paypal.me/Johannadraconis
Discord/support group:
https://discord.io/JohannaDraconis
https://discord.gg/mEAgpqjuhF
twitter: https://twitter.com/JohannaDraconis
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/JohannaDraconis/
youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCR_eyifiglAs0knS4huMwoQ
https://www.youtube.com/@johannadraconis
reddit archive: https://www.reddit.com/r/DraconisCPTSDarchive/
reddit convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/DraconisCPTSDtalk/
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In this episode we will talk about achieving this new “me” that seems often so far away and some even believe is a myth. Or are you trying to return to your old true self? Both follow the same path that seems to be so hard if not impossible to find.
But today we really focus on the steps to take to achieve the new “me” - if you never had a healthy one - or return to your true “me” - if the experience has thrown you off your path.
We first talk about changing takes time, then your mental state, then your view of yourself and then the steps and signs of improvement.
Contact: [email protected]
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/episode167Contact: [email protected]
Website: www.johannadraconis.com
www.johannadraconis.com/archive-collection
support me:
https://ko-fi.com/johannadraconis
https://paypal.me/Johannadraconis
Discord/support group:
https://discord.io/JohannaDraconis
https://discord.gg/mEAgpqjuhF
twitter: https://twitter.com/JohannaDraconis
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/JohannaDraconis/
youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCR_eyifiglAs0knS4huMwoQ
https://www.youtube.com/@johannadraconis
reddit archive: https://www.reddit.com/r/DraconisCPTSDarchive/
reddit convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/DraconisCPTSDtalk/
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In this episode we will talk about emotions once again, but this time about loosing control over them. That can take many forms and is sadly usually a common aspect in dealing with PTSD and also during the healing progress.
We first talk about how it makes things harder, then about abusers and healthy people, then why you loose control and then how to better maintain control.
Contact: [email protected]
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/episode166Contact: [email protected]
Website: www.johannadraconis.com
www.johannadraconis.com/archive-collection
support me:
https://ko-fi.com/johannadraconis
https://paypal.me/Johannadraconis
Discord/support group:
https://discord.io/JohannaDraconis
https://discord.gg/mEAgpqjuhF
twitter: https://twitter.com/JohannaDraconis
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/JohannaDraconis/
youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCR_eyifiglAs0knS4huMwoQ
https://www.youtube.com/@johannadraconis
reddit archive: https://www.reddit.com/r/DraconisCPTSDarchive/
reddit convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/DraconisCPTSDtalk/
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In this episode we will talk about mens mental health.
Contact: [email protected]
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/episode165
[1] Suicide fuel/Incel
https://incels.wiki/w/Suicidefuel
https://www.leedsforlearning.co.uk/Pages/Download/3e2842ed-6270-4d21-9b8f-86eb72f95e98/PageSectionDocuments
https://www.adl.org/resources/backgrounder/incels-involuntary-celibates
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10600567/
[2] "Fathers who actively seek custody obtain either primary or joint physical custody over 70% of the time"
https://amptoons.com/blog/files/Massachusetts_Gender_Bias_Study.htm
[3] More women then men try to kill themselves
https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/publications/healthy-living/suicide-canada-key-statistics-infographic.html (more hospitalized - Canada)
https://www.priorygroup.com/mental-health/mental-health-statistics "Women and girls attempt suicide 1.5 to 2 times more often than men and boys."
[4] Men not suited for therapy?
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mens-mental-health-matters/202309/the-changing-view-of-men-on-mental-health (male therapist perspective)
[5] Hair loss talk but not erectile disfunction
https://www.cambridge-news.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/men-taboo-health-topics-incontinence-27980585 (couldn't find the original study)
[6] rather die than being vulnerbale.. partner being exceptionContact: [email protected]
Website: www.johannadraconis.com
www.johannadraconis.com/archive-collection
support me:
https://ko-fi.com/johannadraconis
https://paypal.me/Johannadraconis
Discord/support group:
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https://discord.gg/mEAgpqjuhF
twitter: https://twitter.com/JohannaDraconis
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/JohannaDraconis/
youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCR_eyifiglAs0knS4huMwoQ
https://www.youtube.com/@johannadraconis
reddit archive: https://www.reddit.com/r/DraconisCPTSDarchive/
reddit convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/DraconisCPTSDtalk/
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In this episode we will talk about time and life with the questions “Do I have enough time left” and “Is my life over” - which is something I went through myself and I hear so often. It’s common to get entrapped by it - and finding the answer is hard.
We first talk about why do we feel like we are running out of time, then is it too late for me, then what is lost and then where are we running.
Contact: [email protected]
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/episode164Contact: [email protected]
Website: www.johannadraconis.com
www.johannadraconis.com/archive-collection
support me:
https://ko-fi.com/johannadraconis
https://paypal.me/Johannadraconis
Discord/support group:
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https://discord.gg/mEAgpqjuhF
twitter: https://twitter.com/JohannaDraconis
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/JohannaDraconis/
youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCR_eyifiglAs0knS4huMwoQ
https://www.youtube.com/@johannadraconis
reddit archive: https://www.reddit.com/r/DraconisCPTSDarchive/
reddit convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/DraconisCPTSDtalk/
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In this episode we will talk about feeling like a child and not like an adult - often accompanied by feeling overwhelmed and lost. One of the more general issues, but also an absolute key element on recovering from trauma - especially if it happens in the childhood. Especially if neglect and parentification is involved.
We first talk about are there no adults, then why being an adult is important, then why do we still feel like children and then what can we do.
Contact: [email protected]
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/episode163Contact: [email protected]
Website: www.johannadraconis.com
www.johannadraconis.com/archive-collection
support me:
https://ko-fi.com/johannadraconis
https://paypal.me/Johannadraconis
Discord/support group:
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https://discord.gg/mEAgpqjuhF
twitter: https://twitter.com/JohannaDraconis
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youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCR_eyifiglAs0knS4huMwoQ
https://www.youtube.com/@johannadraconis
reddit archive: https://www.reddit.com/r/DraconisCPTSDarchive/
reddit convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/DraconisCPTSDtalk/
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In this episode we will talk about how the mind can affect the body - and the other way around. If you keep getting sick or have this weird illness that just won’t go away, then that might be related to PTSD. I can confirm the same - the issues I had disappeared one by one during my healing progress. After years and years of riddling doctors and everyone basically. This is known as psychosomatic and very relevant to PTSD.
We first talk about how does it work, then how far does it go, then stress and then benefits.
Contact: [email protected]
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/episode162Contact: [email protected]
Website: www.johannadraconis.com
www.johannadraconis.com/archive-collection
support me:
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https://paypal.me/Johannadraconis
Discord/support group:
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https://discord.gg/mEAgpqjuhF
twitter: https://twitter.com/JohannaDraconis
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youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCR_eyifiglAs0knS4huMwoQ
https://www.youtube.com/@johannadraconis
reddit archive: https://www.reddit.com/r/DraconisCPTSDarchive/
reddit convo: https://www.reddit.com/r/DraconisCPTSDtalk/
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In this episode we will talk about basically the saying “what doesn’t kill you make you stronger” - which I am sure most of you have heard. It is known officially as post traumatic growth - or PTG - but it has mixed opinions.
I wanted to talk about this for a while since I came across this review of research of Post traumatic growth or PTG where he found that genuine PTG is rare, but illusionary PTG is common. In other words the growth is not real but imagined. Which honestly is in line with my observations.
We end on a positive note, but we first have to clean the table - so to speak. We first talk about PTG, then why it is illusionary, then what does real PTG depend on and then is there post traumatic growth.
Link to the study: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0272735823000594
Contact: [email protected]
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/episode161Contact: [email protected]
Website: www.johannadraconis.com
www.johannadraconis.com/archive-collection
support me:
https://ko-fi.com/johannadraconis
https://paypal.me/Johannadraconis
Discord/support group:
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In this episode we will talk about basically the saying “what doesn’t kill you make you stronger” - which I am sure most of you have heard. It is known officially as post traumatic growth - or PTG - but it has mixed opinions.
I wanted to talk about this for a while since I came across this review of research of Post traumatic growth or PTG where he found that genuine PTG is rare, but illusionary PTG is common. In other words the growth is not real but imagined. Which honestly is in line with my observations.
We end on a positive note, but we first have to clean the table - so to speak. We first talk about PTG, then why it is illusionary, then what does real PTG depend on and then is there post traumatic growth.
Link to the study: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0272735823000594
Contact: [email protected]Contact: [email protected]
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In this episode we will talk about parents and if they were “good parents” - while there are many ways people define if someone is a good parents or not, we will - of course - focus on the trauma perspective, because it is sadly the root of many evils.
The main point of this episode - helping to understand, to find and to resolve past issues.
First we talk about covering the basics, then covering emotional and social needs, then what is caring love and then what does it mean to be a good parent in my eyes.
Contact: [email protected]
Transcript: https://www.johannadraconis.com/episode160Contact: [email protected]
Website: www.johannadraconis.com
www.johannadraconis.com/archive-collection
support me:
https://ko-fi.com/johannadraconis
https://paypal.me/Johannadraconis
Discord/support group:
https://discord.io/JohannaDraconis
https://discord.gg/mEAgpqjuhF
twitter: https://twitter.com/JohannaDraconis
Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/JohannaDraconis/
youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCR_eyifiglAs0knS4huMwoQ
https://www.youtube.com/@johannadraconis
reddit archive: https://www.reddit.com/r/DraconisCPTSDarchive/
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