Эпизоды
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Well, Adam turns out to be rather smart. Something about getting shot through the heart with your own harpoon by your girlfriend/captive has a way of centering the mind. He figures out that Ben and Grayson are in cahoots, and he sets up a scheme to catch them. Grayson and Ben have Christmas Tree sex a generation before Lady Gaga's groundbreaking song of the same name, only for Ben and Adam to end up in a fist fight while Grayson claims that Ben "just wants to be like you when he grows up."
So, Grayson's out for blood, and the clubs.
Models, Inc. then makes the most peculiar of choices - they send Carrie and Monique, played by the same actress who played Carrie's sister, into a tree farm for Carrie to talk about how this was something she used to do every year with her sister.
First of all - that's bogus, you hated your sister.
Second of all - don't remind us about the switcheroo with this actress.
Third of all - get on over to the matrix.
Sarah is becoming a diva. A drunk diva, while she's at it.
Julie's ambition creates problems for her relationship with Craig, and he leaves Hawaii without her. You might call Craig the Amanda Woodward of Models, Inc.
Also, we start the episode with some great AI arguments for why to reboot Models, Inc.
Happy Halloween!
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KISS MY BUTT?!?
Oh, the audacity of late-night television. The coarseness of 90s nighttime soaps. No wonder millennials turned out the way we (me, not Mary) did.
This week, Sarah's drinking is back and she yells "kiss my butt!" at a hiring manager. Cut to Hillary, all raggy, yelling it right back at her. Sarah continues being drunk, gets fired from Models, Inc. - but still lands a lucrative contract thanks to her shiny hair.
Cynthia is struggling through the recovery process as a victim of sexual assault. Actual kudos to Models, Inc. for taking this seriously. Is the recovery a bit soap opera fast? Yes. But they did address some real challenges in a serious way, so I'll give them their princess points.
Julie and Craig are moving in together, and he has money and she is in love with him even before she knew he had money so it's real.
But again, the real story is with Monique, the most beautiful ghost in America, Adam/Reed, the most harpooned ghost in America, and Grayson, the most alive ghost in America. (See, because Adam/Reed thought she was dead?) Anyway, Grayson moves into the guest room, hits on Adam, so he kicks her back out. She attempts suicide so she's back in. It's on again / off agian with Monique and Adam/Reed. Will these kids ever catch a break?
We are zooming in on the series finale, and Mary is coming to terms with the reality that she will need to watch another episode of this show soon.
Well, nine months from now.
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Пропущенные эпизоды?
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Republished from The Melrose Place 'Cast, available at:
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Against all odds, the Models, Inc. 'Cast is back thanks to some legally questionable video acquisition practices by sweet guest star Gail.
This week, Julie decides to stay with her stud boyfriend after threatening to ruin his life, only to see that he has moved out of his apartment, taken all his belongings, and left the place down to the studs.
Carrie passes a note to Hillary and triggers the investigation needed to catch Dr. Sex in his scheme to, in the words of Hillary Michaels, "make sex slaves" out of his patients. So I don't think that budding romance is going well.
Cynthia moves out of Brian's place in the aftermath of her traumatic kidnapping and assault by stalker guy.
Eric gets punched in the face, America cheers, all because one of his prostitution clients told her husband that they were having a real affair. Eric says it's a business arrangement, or at least it started that way.
But the real story is Grayson! Grayson is back, and she is here to get Adam back. She throws shade at Monique, touching her boob and saying it's all silicone, drives a wedge between Monique and Adam, and reveals the reason for her disappearance: she loved Adam too much. Well, Ben the business partner is a shady character and tells her he knows the tea, she's still on drugs and left with a guy. So they scheme that if Ben helps Grayson, Grayson will "give him a piece."
Also, Grayson uses the most dramatic Soap Opera Voice (TM) imaginable.
Y'all, let's hear it for Gail for tracking down these episodes!
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At this point, Models, Inc. knew they were in trouble and needed to boost the ratings to get renewed. They did that by featuring Lara Harris (who's that?) and Emma Samms appearing as Grayson. Who is Emma Samms? Who knows. But they made it clear this was a big deal. She looks a bit like Lillith from Frasier.
Anyway - five distinct story lines.
Carrie is playing along with Dr. Sex to get released, but he realizes that she's been faking taking her pills, so he gets Hillary to lock her up in the home for six months.
Eric has found himself engaged in prostitution as a stud with an attitude, a fact that Linda is not thrilled with. "Sleep with as many horny rich ladies as you want." she says, but I don't think she means it.
Julie is continuing to fall in love with Craig, and even though she breaks up with him, she can't bring herself to sleep with a photographer to get a job. So she yells at Craig, sleeps with him, gets back together, finds his safe, reads his book, and boom, she's out of there.
Monique and Adam are getting married, already have a wedding shower, and apparently Hillary is like a mother to Monique so Monique will wear Hillary's wedding dress and Hillary will give Monique away at her wedding. Remember, it was only on episode 8 that Monique walked in to Models, Inc., having never met Hillary before. But then Grayson returns home, so what now?
But the drama is with Cynthia and Brian's failed efforts to rescue her. Cynthia is sexually assaulted, shoots Frank, all despite Brian's best efforts to apparently let her stay caught. Then, we have to watch Cynthia get grilled by a nurse trying to validate the rape. This whole thing is terrible.
Mary still refuses to watch the show.
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We are joined by Gail, who has never seen or heard anything about this show. Near the end we realize that she thought this was a reality show, so let that tell you whatever it needs to about the writing of this show or the production of reality tv.
Julie gets suspicious that Craig might actually have a lot of money, something that is confirmed. It turns out surfer Craig is actually writing a book about these models under a fake name and one of the key plots is a model who will do anything to marry a rich husband.
Carrie tries to set up Dr. Sex by having Sarah as bait, but Dr. Sex outsmarts them when he sees a photo of Sarah on Hillary's desk. The review board meets, and with Hillary's signature, Carrie will be taken away and institutionalized because Dr. Sex has convinced everyone that she is crazy.
Monique and Adam get engaged because in looking for the drug dealers in his club, there's a shoot out, Monique is held at gunpoint, therefore almost dying twice on this show. That life or death moment is all Adam needed to know he needs to be with Monique. BUT scenes from next week reveal that Grayson is actually coming back, played by Dynasty's Ella Sams, whoever that is.
Cynthia continues to be as goofy as you could be while under threat of a stalker. She leaves her apartment unlocked, runs out unprotected into the hallway where her stalker has already proven he's willing to go, all while her boyfriend rejoices in setting the stalker off. This is what they wanted, see? Well, now the stalker has actually kidnapped Cynthia, successfully convincing the police that she left on her own because "she took everything, her soaps, her lotions..." #ladystuff
All this and more on this week's great episode of Models, Incorporated.
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Listen, there are just four storylines of significance now that Sarah is cast to the side. She just roves through a few other storylines saying things like, "at least you didn't sleep with a priest!"
Carrie is sleeping with her secret psychologist, but so is Hillary! Carrie confronts them, and the doctor says she is crazy and since Hillary is Carrie's power of attorney (I'm sorry, what?) - she is going to be committed to Faircrest, which could also be thought of as Pity Me Pines. Is she going to be involuntarily locked up for sleeping with her psychologist who was manipulating her and she didn't know was a psychologist? Sure, but at least she didn't sleep with a priest.
Linda turns down a great ad campaign so that she can try out for a movie, causing Hillary to break character and plainly say, "you don't know how to act." But, she gets the part and has to rehearse lines about being in an abusive relationship with Eric, formerly her abusive relationship partner. It's awkward and uncomfortable, but at least she didn't sleep with a priest.
Julie and Craig get together, after he literally takes her against her will out of the model house into his apartment down the beach. But he leaves the door open and says she can leave, but that he won't be coming after her. She sleeps with her kidnapper, giving in to her desire, literally rewarding the worst behavior imaginable. But hey, at least she didn't sleep with a priest.
Monique and Adam are broken up because he found Grayson, his ex-wife. He breaks into her hotel room when he finds out she is in there with another man. Holds him at gun point, only to find out it wasn't Grayson, causing him to deliver the line, "It's not Grayson you stupid bastard!" He goes to Monique and says he wants to be with her since his wife is gone, and she cancels her plans to move to New York to be with her boyfriend now that his first choice is gone. Is it settling? Sure, but at least she didn't sleep with a priest.
Finally, Cynthia. Oh, sweet Cynthia. The stalker issues are pretty intense. Police can't arrest him because he didn't break any laws. Hilarity ensues as the stalker keeps coming up in their space, causing Brian to beat on him like he's a rug and it's Sunday in Germany. As in, beating on him outside with a stick. But the stick is his hand. Look, I can't explain it. Because Brian attacked the stalker, the judge says, "Mr. Thompson had not violated my restraining order when you violated him." That line lands differently in 2022 than 1995 but whatev. So fine, Cynthia and Brian decide to intentionally drive the stalker crazy, so they have romantic passionate sex in front of the open windows. Did they infuriate a dangerous stalker? Yes, but hey, at least she didn't sleep with a priest.
Y'all really should be watching this show.
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The vixens in question, of course, are Monique and Julie, who are continuing their tug of war for Adam/Reed while Craig continues to pine after Julie.
Hillary catches Carrie impersonating her and sleeping with investors, so she gets Carrie some secret counseling.
Sarah sleeps with Father Mark, until Daddy Priest Wilson asks her if she's ready for a lifelong commitment. Having already destroyed Father Mark's run at the priesthood, Sarah decides she's done and sends Father Mark away, to disappear like an angel in the wind.
Cynthia's stalker is steping up his game, getting closer and closer. Brian even catches a mysterious figure in the trees thanks to his telescopic camera. What a plot device that is!
This week's episode of Models, Inc. was brought to you (in the 90s) by The nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever, so you can rest medicine, now in gel caps! But do not chew them! Come on, people.
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Well, we took a month off between recording, or frankly even watching the show, so come along with us for our confusion as we try to remember what was happening in this show from 30 years ago that only one of us watched and even that was 35 days ago. As best as we can tell:
Olipop soda is terrible, but that is unrelated to the show.
Cynthia's stalker has made it to LA and is sending threatening messages using a black barbie doll. Brian, boyfriend extraordinaire, decides not to tell Cynthia. Then, he conspires with Hillary to continue not to tell Cynthia. Eventually, though, the stalker leaves a threatening doll inside Cynthia's bedroom, and the jig is up.
Sarah and Mark have sex immediately after Mark explains that he is in love with someone else. It turns out that someone else is JESUS, and he is becoming a priest, so now what?
Linda and Eric are flirting with getting back together, but he's not the one who moves on. She does by leaving the bar even though he is crooning a love song right into her eyes.
The tea this week is with Julie and Monique. Julie's bet to steel Adam/Reed from Monique/Terri is moving along, causing both Julie and Monique to be on a fundraising committee for the Children's Hospital. Craig is making it clear that he wants to date Julie, but she says he can't afford an admissions ticket.
Remember when Hillary was supposed to be the star of this show?
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Well, we've reached that soap opera stage where all of the characters are operating disconnected from each other. So we have distinct, non-overlapping story lines.
Cynthia regains a stalker from New Jersey. He is on his way to LA, but she can't be distracted because she is getting sexy chili dogs with Brian.
Sarah continues her romance with mysterious Mark, kissing him at a retirement home they're doing community service at, but he pulls back and runs away.
Linda is torn between two men: Chris and Eric. Chris proposes, she can't decide, so she says no. He fires her because of the porno flick, so she'll either run back to Eric, or set out about life as an independent woman.
Carrie is posing as Hillary Michaels, bringing a gentleman caller to Hillary's home, to have sex in Hillary's bed, leaving someone out there walking through the streets of LA thinking he slept with Amanda Woodward's mommy.
Julie turns down love from an Owen Wilson on protein shakes look a like because he's broke, and bets that he can steel Adam/Reed from Monique. Of course Monique is deepening her romance with Adam/Reed, sleeping with him on a deserted island, and threatens Julie.
If you're not watching Models, Inc. at this point, then what are you even really doing with your winter?
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Under no circumstances does this title make sense. Zero sense. It is illogical. But, whatever.
We learn that Reed Carter reborn as Adam or Matt or whatever is now dating Teri Spencer reborn as Monique Heart or Clare or whatever. But it's in answer to a dare, and Reed Carter's Second Life is looking for his long lost wife. And because she is named fully, we can expect to see her. Probably when Monique Spencer/Heart/Clare/Whatever's Ghost is marrying Jo's ex-boyfriend/victim/baby daddy.
Julie and Monique are fighting but we don't remember why.
Carrie, the sister of the most beautiful ghost in America is filling in as the Vice President of Modeling as David is in Europe hoping Sarah rescues him.
But Sarah is rescued from a drunk driving crash by a mystery man who drives her home, lays her on her couch, and returns her car in the garage under the cover of darkness.
However the biggest twist of the season: Linda has a skinnamarinkeedinkeedoo with Chris at the top of the stairs and she accidentally gives him a little tumble. Eric, who is seranading Linda back from Chris' pool deck, concocts a lie that ends up with him being framed for attempted murder of Chris the Soap Millionaire.
Y'all, I know about the audio I'm sorry.
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I don't know what's bigger news - the storylines in Models Inc. or that Hardee's used to sell cinnamon raisin breakfast sandwiches for 99 cents. Also, that last claim was quickly debunked.
Chris and Linda continue in their odd relationship, now with a new daddy! Carrie, the sister of the original most beautiful woman in America, feels old and ugly. Monique, the new most beautiful woman in America turns down Brian only to be dejected by Reed Carter playing a character names Adam. Sarah is drunk as hell as though she never left Iowa and David and Julie break up, get back together, start a business, dissolve the business, and break up again.
Oh, and as will always be the case, Hillary wins.
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Monique is standing up for herself, and she wants you to know that while she is the Most Beautiful Woman in America, she is NOT Teri Spencer. Depsite, actually, being Teri Spencer. She won't date Brian, but the woman who is played by the Most Beautiful Ghost in America seems to have taken a shine to Reed Carter (called "Adam") - who can only be described as the Most Mansexy Ghost in America. Two murdered characters hooking up? This is the Melrose Place spin off we needed.
Paul is back, and Carrie suddenly doesn't want to see her son. So she sends him away.
We are joined by Ursula the Sea Witch, who gives a job promised to Sarah to Monique. Julie gets the job of a lifetime, a six week tour of Europe, and Hillary makes it clear to David that the relationship is over. So David quits, loudly, in front of everyone.
But the story of the episode is that Linda, who wears hats, is dating Chris, who was arrested for killing his maid as a child. Eric finds this out, attempts blackmail, fails, and ends up pushing Linda further away.
We are ten episodes in, and zero percent closer to convincing Mary to watch the series.
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The most beautiful woman in America is back, but not really, the most beautiful woman in America is still the most beautiful ghost in America, but Monique Duran is here and ready to insert herself into Teri Spencer's life. Brian is into Monique because she's actually Teri, Carrie is leaning on Monique because she's actually Teri, and Hillary is ready to build the agency around Monique because she's actually Teri. The most beautiful woman in America, ladies and gentlemen.
Sarah from Iowa talks about field parties in Iowa, and starts tipping back on the bottle when Brian breaks up with her so that he can go back to the most beautiful woman in America who sprays herself with water to seduce, the camera. Yeah, that's right, the camera.
We are back with GREAT 90s commercials. You'll never believe how much a sausage pizza at Little Ceasar's cost in 1994.
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We are fortunate this week to be joined by a surprise drop in special guest - Christopher from Melrose Sheltering In Place! Having seen the entire series, but somehow only a third of this episode, he brings us perspective on the long view. And he comes down on side Teege: Mary should watch this show.
In what can only be described as a mid-season finale, all of the story lines wrap up. Eric and Linda are over, and Eric is leaving town. The porno blackmail has been dealt with. Sarah and David are done, and David is with Julie, where he belongs. Carrie comes clean about her son and Paul leaves her to go back to his wife. The murderer is revealed, jailed, and taken off of the show.
But two new models are on the scene: Cynthia, who has a five year plan, and Monique Duran, who, I swear to god, is the most beautiful woman in America.
Join us on our monthly check up on Models, Inc.!
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"Ladies and Gentleman, We Got 'Em!" is what you might imagine the LAPD saying as they have MADE AN ARREST in the murder of Teri Spencer. Hillary triumphantly announces this, saying "It's all over" even though she was also arrested for the murder of Teri Spencer and it did not turn out to be all over at that point. Something suggests there may be some twists and turns coming our way.
Eric and Linda have a feud, as Linda refuses to bail Eric out of jail and says goodbye. Eric reveals that he still has the blackmail tape of Linda, and Chris rescues her as a prince charming yelling, "Stay away from her, she's mine!" Awww, sweet romance.
Sweet Sarah from Iowa is not sleeping with Brian, sees that he has a shrine to her looking just like Teri Spencer, FEELS THE NEED TO SPEAK INTO THE CAMERA "he's making us look the same" and then goes back to David for comfort. Meanwhile, Julie is just going to move in with David. After all, keeping an eye on David is her favorite thing to do. But just an eye.
But we start with some hot news from the Melrose Place facebook group where Teege's post about Models, Inc. generated more engagement than ANYTHING about Melrose Place in the last few months, including actual content from actual Jack Wagner who was the actual Dr. Peter Burns. Perhaps there is some Models, Inc. nostalgia out there waiting to be tapped like a sycamore in a Vermont forest ready to release some maple syrup.
Join us for this monthly update of Models, Inc. 'Cast!
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Julie is in charge.
Julie is in charge.
Julie is in charge.
There, we've said it enough to make sure that it's clear that for about 20 minutes, Julie is in charge of Models, Inc.
Stephanie takes advantage of Eric, who turns to drug dealing to make money. Linda starts a new relationship, and turns Eric in for drug dealing after he hits her.
David still loves Sad Eyed Sarah (you have to listen to understand) but Brian is spending 12 hours with her in one day! Hillary comes to see David after she is released from jail with her striking blue jumpsuit, only to find that he has left. SCANDAL!
Stephanie is oddly obsessed with the models on the wall and demands Eric tell her how he likes her body.
If this seems scattered, welcome to Models, Inc.
Also - not one single person seems to care who shot David.
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Well, well, well, we are back to the murder mystery. Is it David? is it Brian? Who the hell is Stephanie? Why is Paul licking Carrie's feet? (Let the record show we did not discuss the foot licking in the show)
Join us for another monthly update of The Models, Inc. 'Cast, likely the only podcast available to discuss Models, Inc. in great detail. Truth be told, we may become two of the top five experts in all of America on this great show. Follow along, and you, too, can become a Models, Inc. Know-It-All. Sure to make you popular at parties.
We discuss Eric and Linda, as Linda gets thrown out of the house like trash. We discuss Carrie stalking her own son and getting busted by her son's mother both for stalking the son and sexing the father. All in a dramatic day, I suppose. David and Sarah break up, Stephanie makes it into the opening credits, Hillary is arrested AND ON TRIAL, Detective Soto is discredited, and dun dun dun, THERE IS A SHOOTING IN MODELS, INC!
It's getting spicy up in here.
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Well, would you look at this show truckin' along? We are four episodes in, people seem to have gotten over the murder of Teri Spencer, Carrie is seducing the father of her child, Hillary is sleeping with a detective, Brian seems to be obsessed with Sarah, and David and Sarah are going to get married! I'm sure nothing will go wrong with their SURPRISE WEDDING TOMORROW THAT THEY ARE NOT TELLING HILLARY ABOUT!
Also, during this show's original airing, Taco Bell was advertising 29 cent tacos, and let me tell you, we could all use that back in our lives.
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While Mary's not being persuaded, Teege is liking this show, dare we say, a bit more than Melrose Place! The drama, the intrigue, the underlying motivations never fully explored by the writers, it's all so fantastic!
This week, Carrie keeps pushing her way in to the life of the family who adopted her son. We see two flashback scenes of Terry's last moments on the balcony, a detective interrogates, dates, questions, dances with, accuses, and sleeps with Hillary. Alone. All while Hillary refuses to let any of her models meet without a lawyer.
Plot twist: Eric continues to be awful, this week seeming to pimp out his girlfriend on the hopes of getting a break in his music career.
And we learn why Sarah is so squeamish about moving too fast with David - she's holding out for her first time to be special.
Also, some fun back story on what awful people Chaz and Hank were. #stillspinningoff
All this, and more, on this episode of Models, Inc.!
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The key of the season has truly been found! Carrie finds out that her son is actually alive and well, and she tries to crash into his life by having an affair with his father. David and Sarah agree to pursue a secret relationship, since Hillary disapproves. What could go wrong? Two suspects in Teri's murder are identified: Hillary because Teri received a threatening note about leaving and was seen fighting with Teri on the balcony, and Carrie who had flashbacks of fighting with Teri on the balcony. The message: don't fight on balconies.
Meanwhile Hillary lays down the law with Detective Guy and lets him know how he will and will not be allowed to investigate Hillary's people.
Y'all, this show is great!
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