Эпизоды
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In this episode, Vicky Linnane discusses the profound and often overlooked experience of sibling loss and the impact of sibling loss on her identity, relationships and sense of self.
Vicky’s brother, Gary, who died in a house fire - was described as a character who always lived life on the edge, having multiple incidents and accidents that always left their family uneasy, ultimately leading to anticipatory grief for Vicky and her family.
Vicky describes how grief never leaves us but we learn to live with it. She outlines what was supportive, what wasn’t supportive and well as taking us through her journey of understanding her grief and how she integrated her grief into her life.
Vicky expresses the disenfranchised grief she experienced with losing a sibling as she takes us through the multitude of losses she suffered from - including the loss of a possible future and the loss of the potential relationship she could have had with her brother as she reveals she reignited her relationship with her brother shortly before he died.
Vicky beautifully illustrates her grieving process as she reveals her unique ways of dealing with her grief. Vicky offered insights into the complexities of this type of disenfranchised grief, the enduring bonds of siblinghood, and the challenges of finding a path toward 'healing'.
Vicky Linnane is an Art Therapist who facilitates courageous journeys with individuals and groups. She uses creativity to explore our darkest nooks and crannies that gently shine light on our vulnerabilities and imperfections and helps those of all ages to recognise and celebrate their unique story and accept their authentic self.
Creative expression within a therapeutic relationship can have a powerful impact on maintaining good mental health, and this is something that Vicky has dedicated her working life to. Art Therapy can help to resolve conflicts and problems for individuals of all ages, backgrounds, and genders.
Vicky maintains a client led approach and holds a non-judgmental space for all her clients.
You can find out more on her website www.enricharttherapy.com
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In this episode Mary discusses the multifaceted aspects of menopause, the losses associated with menopause, ambiguous loss as well as the release of her new book; Seven Steps to Birth a Crone. She explores the physical and emotional changes, the challenges and triumphs and the unique ways she’s embraced this transition . This episode focuses on the impact of menopause on self-esteem, relationships, and self-identity.
She has edited several publications and her work has appeared in several collections and anthologies and has been published in newspapers, magazines and e-zines both nationally and internationally. Some of her works include ‘Sunny Spells, Scattered Showers’, Carroll R. & Kennelly M. Glenwood Press, 2004 and ‘From the Stones’, Fitzmaurice B. & Kennelly M. Evensong Publications, 2010.
Purchase Mary's latest (beautiful) book on her website, as well as prints from the book.
See the link below to access her website as well as her social media handles:
Facebook: Mary Kennelly
Twitter: @marykpoet
Instagram: bmkennelly
Website: https://marykennelly.com
About Shapes of Grief:
Shapes of Grief is an internationally recognized organization dedicated to enhancing competency around loss, grief and bereavement literacy. Curated by Psychotherapist and grief specialist Liz Gleeson, Shapes of Grief equips individuals with the tools and expertise necessary for understanding and supporting the complex needs of the bereaved, or people grieving any type of loss.
With a curriculum that has been meticulously developed to include the most comprehensive evidence-based material available, Shapes Of Grief stands out as the only program to feature contributions from international grief experts. The award-winning online programme offers different levels of training to accurately meet the needs of each learner.
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Пропущенные эпизоды?
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We are back with a new episode of our podcast! Listen in via any major podcast streaming platform!
In this episode, Tasha opens up about her experience of pregnancy loss and then loosing another child to adoption, and how that impacted her life as a young teenager.
Tasha discusses her experience of the #DisenfranchisedGrief she suffered for years, without realizing that's what she was experiencing, until the deaths of two sisters would bring much of her unresolved grief to the surface.
Tasha takes us through her profoundly painful journey of facing her grief and how she began to integrate her losses - using writing as a creative outlet. Tasha Smith is a wife, mother, and writer from North Carolina. She has appeared on Her View from Home, Focus on the Family, and TODAY Parents. Find her online at www.imnatashasmith.com
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Sinead O'Connor was many things to many people. On 8th August, her funeral procession brought her back to her former hometown Bray, Co. Wicklow, where her community could pay their condolences and express their love and gratitude for this beloved woman. I travelled to Bray to speak to some of the mourners.
#grief #collectivegrief #sineadoconnor #sineado'connor #nothingcompares2u
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June 20th is World Refugee Day
I am so lucky and privileged to live in a country that is not threatened by war. My children are safe, have access to good education and have their human rights supported and protected. Not everyone is so lucky. Many people in the world live under the daily threat of war, violence or poverty. When home is no longer safe, many people make the impossible decision to risk their family's lives by seeking refugee abroad. Some of them make it, many don't. Just this week, hundreds of people lost their lives when the boat they were travelling in sank: "All the women died, drowned, with their children in their arms".
I recorded this conversation with Caoimhe Butterly a few months ago as part of the Shapes Of Grief online Training Programme. I also want to make it freely available as a podcast episode, so that it can be spread far and wide. If you have refugees living in your community, are you helping them to find the safety, refuge and kindness that they deserve? I'm not one to quote Jesus, but there's a first time for everything, right? this quote, feels especially apt "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you".
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No twenty three year old, starting out on married life, expects to be widowed so young, but that is what happened Lucy. After her husband died, not only did she lose him, but also the family and friends that surrounded her - she was from the 'wrong' tribe. Lucy generously shares her experience of her life after loss, navigating domestic violence and ultimately fleeing with her three young children to the safety of Ireland. In the decade or so since Lucy has lived in Ireland, she has come through the Direct Provision system, found work, created a social enterprise, met the president of Ireland and written a book. Lucy is beyond inspiring and it was simply humbling to listen to her story and learn from her incredible psychological flexibility, capacity for forgiveness and unwavering kindness.
Lucy wrote a book for her first son, so that he could know his father. The book can be purchased here https://www.austinmacauley.com/author/press-alexia
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This is such an important perspective that hasn't yet been explicitly been explored by the podcast. In this episode, Mandy Gosling shares her experience of being a bereaved child after her mother died when she was aged 9. We explore how this early loss can impact a person's life, affecting their relationships and sense of self in the world. Grief has not always been supported well, and certainly, for several generations of adults who were bereaved as children, they are still living with the ripple effects of that.
More resources for Adults Bereaved as Children can be found on Mandy's website www.abcgrief.co.uk
About Shapes of Grief: Shapes of Grief is an internationally recognized organization dedicated to enhancing competency around loss, grief and bereavement literacy. Curated by Psychotherapist and grief specialist Liz Gleeson, Shapes of Grief equips individuals with the tools and expertise necessary for understanding and supporting the complex needs of the bereaved, or people grieving any type of loss. With a curriculum that has been meticulously developed to include the most comprehensive evidence-based material available, Shapes Of Grief stands out as the only program to feature contributions from international grief experts. The award-winning online programme offers different levels of training to accurately meet the needs of each learner.
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The pain of losing a child can trigger immensely distressing emotions. In the aftermath of a child's death, it is common for bereaved parents to feel that life no longer has purpose or meaning. In this conversation, Tony generously shares the story of his son Jake's sudden death, how Tony's past and environment shaped his experience of grief, how his anger nearly killed him and how a moment of grace would save his life and help him to find his purpose again. #grief #mensgrief #griefpodcast
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Often called 'The forgotten grievers', there is no name for someone who has lost a sibling. They regularly hear 'how is your mum?' or 'how is your dad?', but rarely 'how are you?'. For a sibling, the loss can be enormous. Not only have they been bereaved of someone they have known probably for most or all of their lives, but they have also lost a version of their parents or family that existed before their sibling became ill or died; serious illness and death changes people and changes families. In this tender and honest conversation, Kate talks about what it was like when her baby sister was diagnosed with cancer. How painful it was to try to connect with Hanna when Hanna just wasn't available for meaningful connection and how that changed over time.
Hanna's book of poetry I would live for you, which Kate finished after Hanna's death, is available to purchase from https://www.hannawilt.com
#hannawilt #iwouldliveforyou #katekiesel #cancer #mesothelioma #griefpodcast
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Jackie Furlong describes the immense psychological and emotional challenges of coping with the profound impact of her daughter's death, without the benefit of emotional literacy. It would be years after her loss that Jackie would learn how to grieve. Jackie's thesis was an autobiography - Giving Voice to Grief. The question she researched - Is there a path through the grieving process where we can find a deeper understanding of what it means to grieve? Her writing is based on her own lived experience and inspired by the loss of her 22yr old daughter in 2007.
About Shapes of Grief
Shapes of Grief is an internationally recognized organization dedicated to enhancing competency around loss, grief and bereavement literacy. Curated by Psychotherapist and grief specialist Liz Gleeson, Shapes of Grief equips individuals with the tools and expertise necessary for understanding and supporting the complex needs of the bereaved, or people grieving any type of loss. With a curriculum that has been meticulously developed to include the most comprehensive evidence-based material available, Shapes Of Grief stands out as the only program to feature contributions from international grief experts. The award-winning online programme offers different levels of training to accurately meet the needs of each learner. Don’t wait to make a difference in the lives of those who need it most, sign-up HERE for our FREE Masterclass in Loss & Grief. #grief #bereavement #parentalloss
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Liz and Kathy talk about Kathy's experience of multiple miscarriages and how devastating it was to not have a much-wanted third child. Kathy talks about how harmful the process became for her and how she found her sanity again, in the wilds of Donegal. Buy Kathy's newly published book 'Finding my Wild' from Easons here.
‘Life had brought me to the edge of myself and here I was feeling like I was on the edge of the world.’
After moving back to her homeplace on the Inishowen Peninsula in Donegal with her young family, journalist Kathy Donaghy’s life changed in ways she never saw coming. This unflinching memoir looks back at a decade of love and loss, of mothering, identity and ultimately healing. An ode to friendship, home and the extraordinary healing powers of immersing yourself in the natural world, especially the ocean.
About Shapes of Grief:
Shapes of Grief is an internationally recognized organization dedicated to enhancing competency around loss, grief and bereavement literacy. Curated by Psychotherapist and grief specialist Liz Gleeson, Shapes of Grief equips individuals with the tools and expertise necessary for understanding and supporting the complex needs of the bereaved, or people grieving any type of loss.
With a curriculum that has been meticulously developed to include the most comprehensive evidence-based material available, Shapes Of Grief stands out as the only program to feature contributions from international grief experts. The award-winning online programme offers different levels of training to accurately meet the needs of each learner.
Don’t wait to make a difference in the lives of those who need it most, sign-up HERE for our FREE Masterclass in Loss & Grief.
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I have been following the research of Dr Mary-Frances O’Connor for almost a decade now, so I was absolutely delighted when she published her book ‘The Grieving Brain’ last year. I am always hungry to learn about grief and specifically, what can the science tell us about how to make sure we are supporting the bereaved in the most compassionate and effective way possible. This book affirmed a lot of what I experience in clinical practice and also taught me more about the grieving process.
Loss of a loved one is something everyone experiences, and for as long as humans have existed, we have struggled when a loved one dies. Poets and playwrights have written about the dark cloak of grief, the deep yearning, and devastating heartache of loss. But until now, we have had little scientific perspective on this universal experience.
In THE GRIEVING BRAIN: The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss (HarperOne; February 1, 2022; Hardcover) renowned grief expert, neuroscientist, and psychologist Mary-Frances O’Connor, Ph.D., shares groundbreaking discoveries about what happens in our brain when we grieve, providing a new paradigm for understanding love, loss, and learning. In The Grieving Brain, O’Connor, who has devoted decades to researching the effects of grief on the brain, reveals a fascinating new window into one of the hallmark experiences of being human. She makes cutting-edge neuroscience accessible and guides us through how we encode love and grief. With love, our neurons help us form attachments to others; but, with loss, our brain must come to terms with where our loved ones went, and how to imagine a future that encompasses their absence. Significantly, O’Connor debunks Kubler-Ross’ enduring idea of the “Five Stages of Grief” and sets a new paradigm for understanding grief on a neurological level. -More- Based on O’Connor’s own trailblazing neuroimaging work, research in the field, and real-life stories, The Grieving Brain brings together accessible science and practical knowledge that provides a more nuanced understanding of what happens when we grieve and how to navigate loss with more ease and grace. The Grieving Brain addresses: • Why it’s so hard to understand that a loved one has died and is gone forever • Why grief causes so many emotions—sadness, anger, blame, guilt, and yearning • Why grieving takes so long • What happens in the brain during grief • The distinction between grief and complicated grief • Why we ruminate so much after we lose a loved one • How we go about restoring a meaningful life while grieving. Ground-breaking, fascinating and accessible, The Grieving Brain is essential reading for everyone who’s lost someone and for anyone looking for a way to heal.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Mary-Frances O’Connor, PhD is an associate professor of psychology at the University of Arizona, where she directs the Grief, Loss and Social Stress (GLASS) Lab, which investigates the effects of grief on the brain and the body. O’Connor earned a doctorate from the University of Arizona in 2004 and completed a fellowship at UCLA. Following a faculty appointment at UCLA Cousins Center for Psychoneuroimmunology, she returned to the University of Arizona in 2012. Her work has been published in the American Journal of Psychiatry, Biological Psychiatry, and Psychological Science, and featured in Newsweek, the New York Times, and The Washington Post. Having grown up in Montana, she now lives in Tucson, Arizona. For more information go to https://www.maryfrancesoconnor.com/ THE GRIEVING BRAIN The Surprising Science of How We Learn from Love and Loss By Mary-Frances O’Connor HarperOne, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers Hardcover | ISBN: 9780062946232
www.maryfrancesoconnor.com/book
Twitter: @doctormfo
FaceBook: @maryfranceso Instagram: @doctormfoconnor LinkedIn: Mary-Frances O’Connor
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Phoenix talks about their grief following family estrangement because of their LGBTQ identity. This is a kind of disenfranchised grief that many LGBTQ+ people experience with little to no recognition or support from society. Life can change in an instant, yet the loss remains ambiguous because nobody has died. #ambiguousloss #disenfranchisedgrief
"I am white-anglo, living on unceded Turrbal and Jaggera lands in a place called Meanjin (colonially known as Brisbane, Australia). I am sighted, hearing, mostly able-bodied, monolingual, and in my mid-forties. I am queer, in a complex myriad of ways. My sexuality is fluid, currently asexual. I am polyamorous by orientation, and unpartnered by choice. The best words I can find for my gender are cisgender unwoman. I identify with the gender I was assigned at birth, but I reject its socially constructed strictures. I have what the DSM calls ADHD, though I prefer to depathologise this by calling it zoomy brain. I am autistic, but functionally allistic due to deeply internalised masking. I am a parent, and became so via my own body undergoing pregnancy and birth. My three children are now adults; two cisgender daughters and a trans/non-binary adult kid. Aside from my children, my kinship system is not biological, but consists of beloved friends and queerfamilial kin. I am a survivor of many and varied traumas. I am strong as fuck. I am fragile as cobweb. I am full of love. I am full of rage. I am kind."
I am currently building my new website www.firebirdpsychotherapy.com
About Shapes of Grief:
Shapes of Grief is an internationally recognized organization dedicated to enhancing competency around loss, grief and bereavement literacy. Curated by Psychotherapist and grief specialist Liz Gleeson, Shapes of Grief equips individuals with the tools and expertise necessary for understanding and supporting the complex needs of the bereaved, or people grieving any type of loss.
With a curriculum that has been meticulously developed to include the most comprehensive evidence-based material available, Shapes Of Grief stands out as the only program to feature contributions from international grief experts. The award-winning online programme offers different levels of training to accurately meet the needs of each learner.
Don’t wait to make a difference in the lives of those who need it most, sign-up HERE for our FREE Masterclass in Loss & Grief.
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Sacha and Liz discuss childhood cancer, anticipatory grief and the misunderstandings that often surround incurable disease. They talk about the different meanings between incurable, terminal, palliative care and end-of-life. Sacha describes what is was like going through anticipatory grief and how her son wanted to speak about his death in ways that would surprise her. #childhoodcancerawarenessmonth #childhoodcancer #anticipatorygrief #parentalbereavement #cancer
About Shapes of Grief:
Shapes of Grief is an internationally recognized organization dedicated to enhancing competency around loss, grief and bereavement literacy. Curated by Psychotherapist and grief specialist Liz Gleeson, Shapes of Grief equips individuals with the tools and expertise necessary for understanding and supporting the complex needs of the bereaved, or people grieving any type of loss.
With a curriculum that has been meticulously developed to include the most comprehensive evidence-based material available, Shapes Of Grief stands out as the only program to feature contributions from international grief experts. The award-winning online programme offers different levels of training to accurately meet the needs of each learner.
Don’t wait to make a difference in the lives of those who need it most, sign-up HERE for our FREE Masterclass in Loss & Grief.
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A conversation about some of the needs of bereaved people and why Grief.Coach texting service could be a wonderful balm for people during their most vulnerable months and years.
About Shapes of Grief:
Shapes of Grief is an internationally recognized organization dedicated to enhancing competency around loss, grief and bereavement literacy. Curated by Psychotherapist and grief specialist Liz Gleeson, Shapes of Grief equips individuals with the tools and expertise necessary for understanding and supporting the complex needs of the bereaved, or people grieving any type of loss.
With a curriculum that has been meticulously developed to include the most comprehensive evidence-based material available, Shapes Of Grief stands out as the only program to feature contributions from international grief experts. The award-winning online programme offers different levels of training to accurately meet the needs of each learner.
Don’t wait to make a difference in the lives of those who need it most, sign-up HERE for our FREE Masterclass in Loss & Grief.
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Order your copy of ‘Poems for when you can’t find the words’ here
In this episode, I speak to Mary Shine Thompson about the power of poetry at end-of-life and during times of grief. We also talk about her personal experiences of loss; how the death of her brother as young adults reshaped her life, and how the death of her mother at age 93, brought with it a profound grief. It’s another beautiful conversation that looks at yet more Shapes of Grief.
Poems for When You Can’t Find the Words is a comforting collection of poetry from the Irish Hospice Foundation surrounding loss and end of life. The book brings together classic poets, beloved Irish figures, medieval translations and new commissions, which together form a diverse anthology designed to bring solace and refuge to those in need.
Created in partnership with Poetry Ireland, Poems for When You Can’t Find the Words offers intimate verse of honesty, candour and solidarity to patients, carers and the bereaved alike. Readers will find comfort in the penned reflections of death, grief, loss and love that span the barriers of time, geography and language.
‘Sometimes, the right words in the right order remain tantalisingly beyond our reach: when, for example, emotions are raw, or formless, or just overwhelming,’ said Mary Shine Thompson, who edited and introduced the collection. ‘[Poetry] speaks to the fears and concerns that illness and approaching death awaken. Poetry can keep us going.’
An essential collection for those leaving or left, Poems for When You Can’t Find the Words includes comforting works by Patrick Kavanagh, Louise Glück, Seamus Heaney, Emily Dickinson, Michael D. Higgins, Paula Meehan and more.
Irish Hospice Foundation is a national charity that addresses dying, death and bereavement in Ireland. Their vision is an Ireland where people facing end of life or bereavement, and those who care for them, are provided with the care and support that they need.
Mary Shine Thompson lectured in English at St Patrick’s College Drumcondra, now Dublin City University, until her retirement. Her edition of Skelligs Haul, by Michael Kirby, was published in 2019, and her exploration of the literary heritage of Westmeath features in Westmeath: Literature and Society (edited by S. O’Brien and W. Nolan, 2022). She is a former chair of Poetry Ireland, the national organisation for poetry, and also of Imram, Féile Litríochta Gaeilge.
Poems for When You Can’t Find the Words by the Irish Hospice Foundation will be published by Gill Books on Thursday, 1 September 2022, priced at €16.99. For publicity enquiries, contact Kristen Olson, Publicist, [email protected] / 086 013 7939.
About Shapes of Grief:
Shapes of Grief is an internationally recognized organization dedicated to enhancing competency around loss, grief and bereavement literacy. Curated by Psychotherapist and grief specialist Liz Gleeson, Shapes of Grief equips individuals with the tools and expertise necessary for understanding and supporting the complex needs of the bereaved, or people grieving any type of loss.
With a curriculum that has been meticulously developed to include the most comprehensive evidence-based material available, Shapes Of Grief stands out as the only program to feature contributions from international grief experts. The award-winning online programme offers different levels of training to accurately meet the needs of each learner.
Don’t wait to make a difference in the lives of those who need it most, sign-up HERE for our FREE Masterclass in Loss & Grief.
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Sometimes I wish the world were a little smaller, so I could meet my guests in person. Adriana is one of those people who I’d love to spend time with. This, for me, was a beautiful, insightful, honest and tender conversation about humanity, addiction, love, capacity to show up in the face off death, or not, and finding our feet again, literally, after profound loss. #cancer #addictionandloss #death #grief #movement #dancinggrief
Biography
Adriana Marchione has been involved in the arts for over thirty years as a filmmaker, dancer, photographer and is internationally recognized in her work as a movement-based expressive arts therapist and educator. Since 2002, Adriana has taught at the renowned Tamalpa Institute, WHEAT Institute in Canada and founded her own wellness center in San Francisco. She has presented her creative healing approach, with a focus on addiction, eating disorders, trauma and grief, at festivals, conferences, and treatment centers including South by Southwest, Studio le théâtre du Corps in Paris and the prestigious Commonwealth Club of California. Adriana created When the Fall Comes in 2014, a performance project that culminated in a short film based on her own life story encountering intimate grief and loss. When the Fall Comes was translated into French and Korean and streamed in universities across America and Canada through Kanopy. She has been in recovery from alcoholism for 29 years and was awarded Artist of the Year by ‘In Recovery’ magazine in 2016. Adriana recently released The Creative High, an award-winning documentary film featuring nine artists with substance use disorder who are transformed by the creative process.
Find more about Adriana’s work, www.adrianamarchione.com, and her film work at www.whenthefallcomes.com and www.thecreativehigh.com.
About Shapes of Grief:
Shapes of Grief is an internationally recognized organization dedicated to enhancing competency around loss, grief and bereavement literacy. Curated by Psychotherapist and grief specialist Liz Gleeson, Shapes of Grief equips individuals with the tools and expertise necessary for understanding and supporting the complex needs of the bereaved, or people grieving any type of loss.
With a curriculum that has been meticulously developed to include the most comprehensive evidence-based material available, Shapes Of Grief stands out as the only program to feature contributions from international grief experts. The award-winning online programme offers different levels of training to accurately meet the needs of each learner.
Don’t wait to make a difference in the lives of those who need it most, sign-up HERE for our FREE Masterclass in Loss & Grief.
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This interview really hit me in the guts. It is sometimes a roll of the dice how our lives can unfold. Damien’s story is an incredible story of resilience and determination in the face of loss and hopelessness. Following a significant childhood trauma, at the age of 14, Damien found himself sole carer for his younger brother in a new country without any supports. What followed were years of addiction, criminality & an overdose which gave him a brush with death. Damien became very familiar with that ‘rock bottom’ place and yet somehow found the internal courage and strength of character to completely transform his life, despite meeting significant social stigma due to his criminal record.
Damien and I met through Social Entrepreneurs Ireland, who do amazing work to support Social Enterprises in Ireland.
Spéire Nua
The founder of Spéire Nua is Damien Quinn. Damien had his own challenges with substance abuse and criminality right through his teens and well into his twenties. He realised he needed to change when it was too late. Knowing that he would be looking at a lengthy prison sentence, Damien made the decision to use the time to get an education.
What he found though, when his time was served, was that no matter what he had done to improve his employability, the label always outweighed the progress he had made since ‘that time’.
This led to disillusionment with the whole system which seemed stacked against him, even though he was after putting in a huge effort to change, become educated and employable and to do all the right things to set himself up to start again.
His progress started to wain and he was finding himself right back where he started. He felt it was no wonder people kept ending up back in there. After a bought of misery and then some treatments Damien returned home to start again.
Unable to get employment anywhere, he reengaged with education to fill his days. As he progressed with education he found employment through a friend and hasn’t looked back since.
Throughout his studies, he has always been interested in making easier for people that are actively trying to turn their lives around and his goal is to make sure that no one has to experience the difficulties he did when trying to rebuild his life.
Damien linked his Masters Study to the problem described here and wrote the paper Spéire Nua – New Horizons – Life after prison for the reformed individual, opportunities or barriers?
This research was the foundation for the Spéire Nua you find here today and by engaging with this process you too can apply for a Certificate of Commitment to Change to support you as you seek employment and validate the hard work you have put in to distance yourself from your former way of life.
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Rosie Mankes’s mother has had dementia for ten years. She had to be transitioned into assisted living, and then into memory care. And little by little, Rosie has had to watch her mother go. She recently wrote an article (https://thriveglobal.com/stories/what-i-wish-i-knew-when-i-transitioned-my-mom-into-an-assisted-living-facility/) about this deeply troubling experience that more and more of us are going to have to go through. It starts like this:
I am watching my mother’s brain die, right before my eyes. During a recent visit, she said to me, “Please, Rosemarie, can you help me remember who my children are?” I held my composure and said, “Of course, Mom, let’s go through them. There’s Betty Ann, Tommy, Carl, and me.” She looked deep into my eyes and tried to repeat the names but couldn’t. So, we did it again, and again, until her frustration and agitation seemed to settle. She said to me, “I’m so upset that I can’t remember things. How many children do I have, six?” I said, “You have four.” And then we repeated their names numerous times until she somehow felt soothed.
To learn more about Rosie and her work, visit
https://www.rosiemankes.net
To learn more about Rosie's book, Find Your Joy and Run With It, visit
https://www.rosiemankes.net/book
Rosie Mankes is a life coach, motivational speaker, and author of Find Your Joy and Run With It, a heartwarming memoir about overcoming her second battle with cancer, the transitioning of her mother into an assisted living facility, and the unexpected loss of her brother, all within one year. Rosie’s recovery from these major challenges inspired her to become a life coach, in order to help people pull through significant adversity and life challenges. Rosie is a resident of New Jersey, where she lives with her husband. She is the mother of two grown sons.
#grief #ambiguousloss #dementia #grieftraining #griefpodcast #rosie mankes
About Shapes of Grief:
Shapes of Grief is an internationally recognized organization dedicated to enhancing competency around loss, grief and bereavement literacy. Curated by Psychotherapist and grief specialist Liz Gleeson, Shapes of Grief equips individuals with the tools and expertise necessary for understanding and supporting the complex needs of the bereaved, or people grieving any type of loss.
With a curriculum that has been meticulously developed to include the most comprehensive evidence-based material available, Shapes Of Grief stands out as the only program to feature contributions from international grief experts. The award-winning online programme offers different levels of training to accurately meet the needs of each learner.
Don’t wait to make a difference in the lives of those who need it most, sign-up HERE for our FREE Masterclass in Loss & Grief.
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Mary brings a whole other perspective to the podcast with this very tender and beautiful episode. Two ‘giants’ in her life, Fr John and Brendan were more than Uncles to Mary. They were constant forces of good, founts of wisdom and a huge part of her life. When Fr John developed vascular dementia, Mary found herself in the role of carer. Shortly after his death, Brendan too was diagnosed with a different form of dementia and once again, Mary stepped in. Her collection of poems “Into the Grey” will resonate with anyone who has ever found themselves in the role of carer, or lost someone to dementia or Alzheimers. Through poetry and chat, we explore this ambiguous loss that often has loved ones on their knees with exhaustion.
Mary’s story resonated with me on a deep level, having lost my father in March 2021, also with dementia. Her book moved me greatly and I highly recommend getting your hands on this treasure. Please buy directly from the Nursing homes (link below) who took amazing care of Fr John and Brendan, and who need the money to fix their roof!
https://arasmhuirenurs.wpengine.com/product/into-the-grey/
Mary hails originally from Ballylongford, Co.Kerry, although she’s lived in Glin with Gus and their children Ruth, Matthew and Caleb for many years. She has worked in Education but also in the Arts for over thirty years. She published her first collection of poetry 25 years ago.
Her previous collections include ‘Sunny Spells,Scattered Showers’, ‘From the Stones’, ‘Catching Bats Takes Patience’ and ‘Splinters’.
‘Into the Grey’ is a collection that follows her journey living with the impact of dementia on her two uncles, Fr. John Kennelly and the poet Brendan Kennelly and on the family who loved them.
The book was written as a way of dealing with the grief caused by living decline but also as a thank you to the staff who cared for John and Brendan in their nursing homes.
All profits from ‘Into the Grey’ will be shared by Our Lady of Fatima Home, Tralee, Co. Kerry and Aras Mhuire Nursing Home, Listowel, Co Kerry.
Both Nursing homes provide an exceptional standard of care to the residents who make their home with them and an exceptional standard of supports to the families of those residents.
Founded by the Dominican Sisters, Our Lady of Fatima home in Tralee, currently provides a home to 66 residents, including many priests and nuns. It has recently undergone a significant expansion so all funds from the sale of the book will be gratefully received
Arás Mhuire was built with a grant from the society of St Vincent De Paul in 1970 and has had to actively fundraise since it’s inception. Arás Mhuire are hoping to put the funds from the sale of the book towards roof repairs and the building of a storage space.
Link to purchase ‘Into the Grey’ directly from the nursing home
https://arasmhuirenurs.wpengine.com/product/into-the-grey/
Ships internationally
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