Эпизоды
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Christmas isn't what you think it is. It isn't contained within the waking, sometimes sleepless days of the yuletide season; it doesn't simply begin and end at those polar midnights of late December. It's not quantifiable by tallying cards and presents, not merely a protracted spree of buying and giving, wrapping and tearing, hugging and crying. Christmas, really, is more akin to music or memory than the temporal here and now; even when it's not loudly ringing out, even when it happened so long ago, you carry it within you to summon against the darkness, holding it tight against the quiet and the cold. It's something you know as a child and try your absolute hardest to forget as an adult, but the truth is that Christmas is truly, deeply, embarrassingly about that one special thing: it's love, actually.
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Dancing is a lot like making love: it takes heaps of practice, can be very cinematic and is virtually impossible to do when you're a podcaster. Also, something do with feet, I guess... This week, the Pals are cutting a rug and never shutting the fug up about their favourite times the silver screen was almost torn to pieces by the sharp sashays of some of the world's nimblest nae nae-yers. Hoo-ray!
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Пропущенные эпизоды?
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Now, this is a story all about how Galinda's actually Glinda now
And we're talking bout Wicked
Massive hit of the year
So take a break from all your worries and lend us an ear
On the stages of Broadway, born and raised
Where this musical originated back in the days
Of George Bush, Usher and low-rise jeans
It sure was a hit of grandiloquent means
Elphaba's green, and people are mean
"What's up with that?" I suppose you might scream
Well it's a metaphor, stupid, for prejudiced people
And how rejecting diversity can be terribly lethal
Wicked Wicked Wicked, what a crazy little movie
Chic-a chic-a chic-a, scooby dooby dooby
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F is for the way the snow falls fast
R is recording a film podcast
O is "Oh my gracious, this is so outrageous!"
Z is the zillion times we've all heard Elsa's sing-song rhymes
So E's enough of the poem mode
N so now we can listen to the episode
[Sung to the tune of L-O-V-E but then it just sorta falls apart, I guess]
Enjoy the latest Throw in the Pal!
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When you watch a movie, the agreement you enter into through participation with the medium itself is that you shan't be required to read. Yet eagle-eyed cinema-goers will notice that some filmmakers still insist on putting a bunch of wordiplex junkery at the start of their colourful picture shows, apparently to commend those who did all the work and that to make the movie run. They're called "opening credits", doncha know, and these are the best ones!
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Remember when you were sick from school and your grandpa who you didn’t like that much and looked an awful lot like TV’s Colombo came by to read you a story about a fantasy world where no one has the same accent and eels can shriek and extra fingers are somehow a disadvantage and originally he kinda took it easy on all the horny stuff in the story but leaned reeeal into it by the end because at that point you were both super into it, so much so that you asked if he could come back the next day to read you the same exact story?! Well, turns out they made a movie about that self-same relatable thing that every one of us went through as children, and it’s not called The Princess Diaries. It's the other one, actually. So... enjoy the Pals talking about that!
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So how do you truly define an "ick"?
Is it simply something that makes one sick?
Behaving quite twattish or acting a dick?
Something involuntary a tic?
The Pals aren't sure either, so they've made a quick
Installment that deals with actors that prick
Their hairs up on end, or make their sight thick
With visions of red due to anger, so stick
Around for this ep (especially if you're name's Rick!)
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A harrowing war film about a U.S. Army Explosive Ordnance Disposal team in Iraq led by a loose cannon!
A WWE wrestler whose whole shtick is a little too confusing and niche to get picked up by the mainstream!
A band that plays math-rock mixed with noise punk whose members don't grasp the nuances of mixing or songcraft!
A location that a kid who gets bullied too much at a stereotypical American High School in the '80s spends a lot of his time!
Question: what do these things all have in common? Everybody knows they're all called The Hurt Locker!
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What is it we go to the movies for? Do we seek some recognition of ourselves, reflected through the dark, prismatic mirror of cinema? Is it in the hope of seeing our deepest desires performed by dramaturgical manifestations of our collective id, watching behaviour we long to embody but couldn't possibly imagine enacting in the waking world? Or is it to watch as things go ka-blammo and ka-boosh, to see big fireballs and f$&%-off explosions and stupid-sized guns going kuhn-kuhn-kuhn-kuhn and then a car goes, like, vrooom-VROOOOOOM and sh!t like that? Valid imponderables, each one. Anyway, here's a loosie of the Pals talking about action scenes that they like.
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Where are you most likely to find the world's most-famous form of Diesel?
Better yet, what's an accurate description for a speeding motorist?
Or, if you're feeling cheeky, what's the best way of describing the means by which each of the Pals lost his virginity?
If you answer is, "In a car", you're correct.
But "Fast & Furious" also works.
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Tom was right, Tom was right! Na na ni na na! 😛
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This week, what is it that the (dead)Pals have (wolver)seen that they’re dying to deliberate? Still not sure? We’ll give you a clue: it’s this year’s most anticipated new entry in a flagship cinematic series! Now would you care to take a gue-? No, it’s not Inside Out 2, try again… Nope, not Dune 2 either, although we get how you might have- Ok, no, not Furiosa, and upon reflection maybe the set-up for this was a little too open-ended. No, goddammit, it’s not Beetlejuice Beetlejuice. Think big, like a BIG and widely beloved… (sigh) No, not Despicable Me 4, Kung-Fu Panda 4, Bad Boys: Ride or Die, Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes, Alien: Romulus or The Garfield Movie, you insipid poltroons! It’s Deadpool, alright?! It’s the new Deadpool! Wolverine’s here too, ok?! Ok… Jesus.
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For the first ever Favourite Starring Role edition of Short n’ Sweet, the Pals deliberated long and hard about which actor to pick, which famed thespian they would trawl the filmography of in search for their best, most iconic part. What acclaimed performer has the consistency, the nuance, the restraint, nay, the well-established and totally unshakeable sanity to be worthy of such a choice? These questions were hard and boring, so we chose Nicolas Cage.
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Are the Pals off their face, or are they ON their face? You be the judge!
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Welcome to the Overrated Animated Short n’ Sweet,
Do we love or do we hate it? Guess you’re gonna sorta see!
Or actually, you’ll listen up, ‘cos podcasting’s an audio
Endeavour and it’s better if you focus, as you oughta know
Are they takin’ shots at Disney, rippin’ into anime?
Maybe they’re too busy just to let each other have a say
Regardless – and remember that they’re known to riff and rowel –
Get ready for this Short n’ Sweet of Throw in the Pal!
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In this edition of Short n' Sweet, Marcus has a Chris-py take: Hemsworth and Pine are basically the same guy. All I know is my girlfriend Pines after one, and is Thor after seeing another. Join us for this bite sized battle of the Chrises
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Hey, what happens when the internal gets all external? Would it be just like that feeling when things are all a-jumble? Maybe even the same as when something typically housebound find its way unleashed upon the big wide world? Or, perhaps most common of all, it’s just like when you have a friend named Otto – who prefers the moniker ‘Out’ – who is the second person to sigh in explaining to you that the direction you’re looking for is one located within an inner sanctum, producing this very normal series of words:
“In,” sighed Out, too.
Well, f$%ckle-dee-dee, have we got an ep for you! Straight from the list of highest grossing films of all times, it’s time for Inside Palt 2!!!
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Welcome to the first ever episode of Throw in the Pal - Short n Sweet! It's a comfy, bite-sized chunk stuffed with all the gooey goodness a regular ep might have, just at a fraction of the length. This week: Steven Spielberg's on the hook, as the Pals select their favourite Spiel-works and try to catch each other's, if they can. Jaw not gonna want to miss this E.T. (even tinier) episode!
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This is Iron Man
Has Frank lost his mind?
Pulling high scores out of his behind!
Marcus will give his all
Cos this film didn't really make him go, "Whoa!"
Is Tom alive or dead?
Will he shut the f#%k up for once so we can listen to a single thing that someone else has said?!
We'll just leave it there
But listen if to the ep if you think you'd care
[Instrumental Break]
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Everyone’s always asking, “What’s eating Gilbert’s grapes?” It’s never, “*How* are Gilbert’s grapes?” Well, the pals are gonna find out!
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