Bölümler
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Dr. Rick and Forrest answer listener questions focused on navigating relationship challenges. They explore how to rediscover yourself after a codependent relationship, distinguish between healthy and unhealthy desires, maintain friendships after romantic feelings emerge, overcome self-consciousness in social interactions, and communicate effectively during stress responses. Whether you're healing from a breakup, working through attachment issues, or seeking to build more authentic connections, this episode offers practical advice.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
0:50: After a breakup, how can I reconnect with myself and identify what I really want?
7:50: How do I distinguish between healthy and unhealthy wanting?
18:40: How can I stay friends with someone I’ve had romantic feelings for?
32:20: How can I learn to let my thoughts and speech flow more naturally?
39:10: How can I communicate with care when I find myself in an attachment-related freeze response?
56:15: Recap
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Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
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We all have an "inner child:” the part of ourselves that carries the emotions, beliefs and experiences from our early years. While this aspect of ourselves can be a source of creativity, playfulness and wonder, it might also harbor unresolved wounds that affect our adult relationships and behaviors. In this episode, Dr. Hanson and Forrest explore what the inner child really is, how it manifests in our lives, and practical ways to work with this important part of ourselves. They discuss how to identify inner child wounds, demonstrate techniques like voice dialogue, and share strategies for bringing more awareness and healing to our younger selves.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:20: What is the inner child?
7:30: How the inner child shows up in our adult lives
10:40: A CBT-ish way of thinking about the inner child
16:40: Unmet needs, and examples of inner child wounds
21:45: Promoting the positive aspects of the inner child
28:50: How to begin engaging with the inner child
35:30: Shame, and turning toward yourself
39:00: Reparenting
46:30: Voice Dialogue demonstration
1:00:15: Reflections on the demonstration
1:06:00: Other approaches, and reasons you might be having a hard time
1:09:25: Rage and release, looking at pictures, and creating an autobiography
1:14:00: Balancing the inner child's desires with the realities of life
1:20:10: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ #oneskinpod
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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Eksik bölüm mü var?
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Anxiety is something we all experience from time to time, and because it’s so common it can be easy to take it lightly. But anxiety dominates the lives of many people, and in this episode psychotherapist Joshua Fletcher joins Forrest for an in-depth exploration of anxiety. They talk about the anxiety cycle, moving away from thinking in terms of a “cure,” and the key target of the “willful tolerance of uncertainty.” Josh also shares insights on exposure therapy, managing self-criticism, and developing greater self-awareness.
About our Guest: Joshua Fletcher, also known as Anxiety Josh, is a psychotherapist based in Manchester, UK, and the author of several books, including his newest, "and how does that make you feel?" Joshua also co-hosts the podcast "Disordered," and you may have bumped into his content on Tiktok or Instagram, where he has over a quarter million followers.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
3:30: Josh’s first panic attack
10:15: The vicious cycle of threat monitoring
14:00: The three magic words: “just in case”
20:00: The “willful tolerance of uncertainty”
27:00: Exposure therapy
31:55: Working with self-criticism
41:20: Reward, punishment, and trauma
48:05: Identifying our varied inner voices
52:10: Worried voice, false comfort, and wise mind
54:00: Approaching anxiety as a neurodivergent person
58:10: Healthy disenchantment
1:00:15: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ #oneskinpod
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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Why do so many people seem to resist self-compassion? Dr. Chris Germer, co-creator of the Mindful Self-Compassion program, joins Forrest to explore how we can work with the deeply ingrained shame that gets in the way.
Dr. Germer shares common misunderstandings about self-compassion, and they discuss the complex interplay between shame, self-criticism, and our capacity for self-care. Forrest focuses on the paradox of self-compassion: how approaching it as a “solution to your problems” actually gets in the way of it helping you out. Dr. Germer then shares the model of safety, challenge, and overwhelm, including how we can use it to guide our practice, get to the bottom of shame, and avoid burnout along the way.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:30: What people get wrong about self-compassion
5:10: Tender vs. fierce self-compassion, and the “paradox of practice”
11:35: Shame and self-compassion
17:35: Safety, challenge, and overwhelm
23:30: Holding ourselves before holding our experience
31:45: Burnout, and inner-kindness vs. external approval
37:35: Getting to the bottom of shame, and loving ourselves up
42:00: Applying mindfulness to self-compassion practice
48:40: Overzealousness, and clarity of intention
53:10: Motivating ourselves
57:00: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ #oneskinpod
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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In this episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore the all-too-common challenge of social anxiety. They break down what it really means to be socially anxious (hint: it's not just being shy), where those feelings come from, and why they stick around. Rick explains the roots of social anxiety, highlighting the role of attachment styles and individual temperament, before Forrest shares how to locate yourself on a spectrum from everyday nervousness to Social Anxiety Disorder. They then discuss evidence-based approaches to working with social anxiety like exposure therapy, cognitive defusion, and mindfulness techniques. Whether you experience feelings of anxiety or are trying to understand a friend who does, this episode will help you feel more confident and connected.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:45: What is social anxiety?
7:10: Where does social anxiety come from?
13:40: Feeling worthy, and other social factors
17:00: Nature vs. nurture
24:15: Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) and comorbid diagnoses
29:50: Exposure therapy, and how to practice it safely
42:00: Positive reinforcement, and responding to ruminative thoughts
55:45: Widening our view, and taking in the good
1:03:15: Talking with younger parts, and self-compassion
1:10:15: Normalizing anxiety
1:11:35: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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In our first feed drop, we’re sharing the first episode of Season 4 of the Turning Points Podcast. The host of Turning Points is therapist Frantzces Lys, and in this episode she explores family and peer-based approaches to therapy.
Frantzces is joined by two guests, first Charles Daniels, the CEO and co-founder of Fathers’ Uplift, an organization that provides therapy, coaching, and advocacy for fathers. And second, Gina Connor, a clinical social worker who specializes treating eating disorders, trauma, anxiety, and life transitions through individual and group therapy.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
5:00: First guest - Charles Daniels
23:10: Second guest - Gina Connor
33:30: Recap
I hope you enjoy this episode of the Turning Points podcast. Subscribe here: https://sponsored.bostonglobe.com/point32health/turning-points/
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Dr. Rick and Forrest unpack the "Dark Triad" of personality traits - narcissism, Machiavellianism, and sociopathy - and explore how these traits can manifest in everyday relationships. They talk about how individuals with these tendencies use charm and manipulation to control situations and people, and offer practical strategies for identifying these traits in others. You’ll learn how to set boundaries, protect yourself from manipulation, and develop a thoughtful, empathetic approach when navigating relationships with those who exhibit these challenging behaviors. The episode also explores self-care in difficult dynamics, the ethical considerations in labeling others, and how to manage unavoidable interactions with people who display these traits. It’s essential listening for anyone who has encountered toxic behavior, and wants to learn how to deal with it more effectively.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction and disclaimers
3:50: The Dark Triad: Narcissism, Machiavellianism, and Sociopathy
7:40: Charisma, privilege, and why some people get away with antisocial behavior
16:10: Sensitivity to criticism, viewing people as means to ends, and other evidence
22:35: Being careful about labeling people
28:50: Developing awareness, and grieving reality
33:10: Boundaries and safety
38:00: Limiting the scope of the relationship
42:20: How to break through the “fuzz” in communication
49:25: Transference, and when it’s safe to confront people
55:15: Self-care in unavoidable situations
59:15: When you notice these tendencies in yourself
1:02:10: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
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Forrest sits down with marriage and family therapist Julie Menanno to explore one of the most crucial aspects of healthy relationships: secure attachment. They discuss the impact of anxious, avoidant, and secure attachment patterns, and provide practical advice on identifying and communicating attachment needs, fostering emotional safety, and addressing the common anxious-avoidant partner dynamic. Julie highlights the importance of emotional validation and recommends strategies for communicating from the heart. Forrest and Julie then talk about what we can learn from how securely attached couples navigate conflict and repair.
This episode is perfect for anyone looking to strengthen their relationships!
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:20: Attachment styles and emotional safety
4:30: Identifying and meeting attachment needs
12:45: How attachment styles shape our relationships
19:30: The “anxious-avoidant” partner dynamic
26:55: Communicating from the heart
32:40: Emotional validation
35:55: Conflict and repair in a securely attached relationship
44:55: How a therapist manages escalation and overwhelm
50:35: The power of choice in relationships
56:35: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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Dr. Rick and Forrest dive into the mailbag, and answer questions from listeners focused on working with anxiety in ourselves and our relationships. They start with a question that’s essential to the podcast as a whole: is it possible to be too preoccupied with personal growth? Rick talks about how to manage the desire for approval, offering strategies to foster self-acceptance and healthier self-validation, before Forrest shares his own journey with finding the right amount of try-hard. They then discuss how to create more collaborative decisions in relationships. Additional topics include self-motivation and peak performance, working with diverse needs, and diagnostic “scope creep.”
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:05: Am I too preoccupied with self-help and personal growth?
11:20: How do I address my unquenchable thirst for approval?
27:15: How can I tell if I’m actually doing my best?
36:40: How do I advocate for more collaborative decision making with my partner?
54:15: How does the brain’s natural pursuit of novelty balance with its desire for safety?
1:03:30: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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Forrest dives into cognitive bypassing - a common strategy many of us use to avoid feeling difficult emotions - with trauma therapist Simone Saunders. Simone and Forrest discuss the connection between cognitive bypassing and trauma before exploring somatic tools that can help us avoid an endless cycle of overthinking, and fully process our experiences. They focus on the “freeze” and “fawn” stress responses, and talk about how these responses can impact our relationships and everyday interactions. The conversation widens from there to include topics like letting go of unhealthy relationships, navigating the shame that can come with self-awareness, working through triggers, finding more agency, and changing our models of conflict.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:25: What’s cognitive bypassing?
5:55: Somatic approaches, and widening the window of tolerance
18:10: The freeze and fawn responses
22:25: Grieving letting go of unhealthy relationships
26:20: Shame, the problem with self-awareness, and identifying your values
35:35: How to move through “first contact” with our triggers
38:05: Feeling connected to others
41:55: Agency, and being embodied in a relationship
47:30: Changing how we see conflict
51:15: Grief as self-awareness, and expressing ourselves
57:25: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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In this special conversation, Forrest explores what it means to be a good father with his dad, clinical psychologist Dr. Rick Hanson. They discuss the joys, challenges, and unexpected lessons of parenthood, starting with the advice Rick would have given himself. Rick and Forrest tackle the mental health challenges new parents face, focusing particularly on maintaining a strong relationship between partners. They get real about their relationship, and Rick offers practical strategies for "resetting" with your partner during stressful times.
They then talk about different approaches to parenting, and how to find a healthy balance of authority, aspiration, and nurturance. Whether you’re navigating the path of parenthood, reflecting on your relationship with your own parents, or just looking to gain some insight into the father-son dynamic, this episode has something for everyone.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:00: Did becoming a dad change Rick’s relationship with his parents?
5:05: What advice would Rick give a younger version of himself?
8:45: Biological stressors, and the mental health challenges of young parents
17:00: Maintaining closeness with your children while working
21:40: How to “reset” with your partner
32:15: Savoring the good times
35:35: Authority, aspiration, and nurturance
44:30: Parenting the child you have, and emotional regulation
51:10: Recognizing that kids are not tiny adults
57:55: Staying consistent
1:00:30: How to practice for becoming a parent
1:03:00: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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In this timely episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest tackle the anxiety and uncertainty so many are feeling about the state of today’s world. They discuss why everything feels so overwhelming right now, share practical ways to manage those emotions, and explore how we can stay grounded, take ownership of what we can control, and maintain a sense of connection with others. Topics include managing uncertainty, wise skepticism, developing agency, accepting impermanence, and understanding grief as a deep form of love and connection. Whether you're feeling anxious about global events or just navigating daily life, this episode offers practical advice for building resilience.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:55: Why do things feel so terrifying?
11:45: A typical response to the state of the world
17:40: Recognizing how much uncertainty there is
25:35: Feeling grounded in your personal integrity
32:30: Taking ownership of what you are able to contribute
39:00: Our felt sense of connection with others
44:20: Accepting impermanence
49:00: Grief as a form of love and connection
54:15: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
Connect with the show:
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Forrest explores how we can harness perfectionism’s strengths without getting captured by its vulnerabilities with therapist and author Katherine Morgan Schafler. They talk about perfectionism’s bad branding, and how our relationship with perfectionism can lead to it being either a superpower or a stumbling block. They discuss the different types of perfectionists, the limitations of defining perfectionism merely as a defense against criticism, and the importance of shifting our language around self-criticism. You’ll learn about the difference between power and control, why self-compassion beats self-punishment, and how to keep perfectionism in check while still reaching your goals.
About our Guest: Katherine is a psychotherapist, former on-site therapist at Google, and author of the recent book The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control: A Path to Peace and Power.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:35: Defining perfectionism
6:00: Ideals, identity, and asking yourself how and why you’re striving
12:40: The five types of perfectionists
21:55: Why defining perfectionism as a ‘defense against criticism’ falls short
28:20: Changing our vocabulary around self-criticism
34:00: Why self-punishment doesn’t work
38:10: The difference between power and control
44:40: Splitting vs. scaling, and reaching out for connection
49:10: When perfectionistic tendencies invade our relationships
54:10: The intention that drives real goals, and finding your metric for measuring success
1:07:10: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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Dr. Rick and Forrest explore one of the most interesting concepts in psychology: Carl Jung’s concept of the shadow. The shadow includes the “the things a person has no wish to be,” the uncomfortable aspects of ourselves that we deny or ignore. Facing those parts can be difficult, but becoming aware of the shadow, accepting it, and integrating it allows us to embrace all of who we are.
They start by explaining what the shadow is, where it comes from, and why it’s valuable. Rick shares some examples of shadow material, what we lose by leaving them behind, and how we can start reintegrating them. Forrest talks about modern approaches to shadow work, and viewing the shadow through a less dualistic lens. They then map out the “typical” path of what is usually a highly individualized process.
Hope you enjoy it!
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:50: Defining the shadow - things we leave out, or don’t care to know
4:30: Individuation
12:05: Some examples of shadow material
18:35: What do we lose by not incorporating the shadow?
23:10: Agency, creativity, authenticity, and unrecognized capabilities
26:50: Patience, knowing your why, inner refuge, and befriending parts
32:00: Acceptance, awareness of projection, and being in dialog with our shadow
38:10: Deliberate practice, stepping into the wild, and showing curiosity
46:25: The golden shadow, and accepting impulses vs. acting on them
55:30: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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Forrest and Dr. Rick tackle the tricky topic of dealing with other people’s psychological defenses. It’s often easier to see other people’s defenses than to see our own, which can make them particularly frustrating to deal with. In this episode, Rick and Forrest explore the psychological and communication skills that will allow you to have more successful conversations.
They start with a quick summary of what psychological defenses are and how they operate, before talking about recognizing our biases, showing empathy, and establishing a productive tone. Rick explains how to break the cycle of counterattacks that can happen when people get defensive, and how to balance different needs for closeness and distance. Topics include effective communication skills, moving from criticism toward values, managing frustration, and helping other people become more self-aware.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction, psychological defenses recap
3:40: Why can’t we see other people’s defenses?
10:35: Recognizing our own vulnerabilities, and showing empathy
14:20: Setting the tone
20:10: Disrupting the cycle of counterattacks
24:20: Approaching differing needs for closeness and distance
31:15: Joining with empathy before escalating requests
38:55: A mutual orientation toward growth
41:45: Seeing openings for dialog when they present themselves
43:40: Basing dialog around values vs. criticism
47:40: Managing frustration
53:25: Is there any way to help others become more self-aware?
1:01:35: Recap
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Have you ever felt like you knew yourself a little too well? While self-awareness is usually helpful, it can sometimes lead to overwhelm, anxiety, confusion, and self-consciousness. In this episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore what we can do if we feel like we’re “too self-aware.”
They begin by identifying some of the issues that can arise with self-awareness, differentiating it from self-consciousness, and highlighting how conflict between different parts can stop us from becoming who we want to be. They then discuss how developing ego strength can help us become more authentic and free in our behavior. Rick then guides Forrest through a role-play exercise aimed at reducing self-consciousness and social anxiety, and addressing parts of ourselves we may not like.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:40: Can we be "too self-aware?"
3:55: Three ways self-awareness can cause problems, and four stages of growth
8:25: Outside-in vs. inside-out change, and self-consciousness
14:20: Authenticity, feeling stuck, and internalizing judgment
18:45: Ego strength, and what helps people navigate overwhelm
29:10: What not to do, and a roleplay example with Forrest
35:00: Showing interest in others, and rumination
40:15: More roleplay with Forrest, anxiety, overanalysis, and shame
53:25: Qualities we like and can embrace about an exiled part
1:01:30: Recap
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About 30% of people will experience depression at some point in their lives, and most of us know what a depressed mood feels like. Because depressive episodes are common, there’s no lack of good advice out there. But depression is so challenging in part because it attacks our ability to do anything about it. Depression saps our energy, is demotivating, and makes it difficult to actually put that good advice into practice. In this episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore what we can do about this, and how we can break out of an episode of depressed mood.
They start by talking about what causes depression, introduce the biopsychosocial model, and identify an overall framework for most depressive episodes. Rick and Forrest then explain the vicious cycle of depressed mood before focusing on what a person can do practically to break the cycle. Topics include identifying mindsets, changing how we interpret information, fully experiencing our emotions, rumination and ruminatory processes, taking in the good, and creating openness to possibility.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:15: Distinguishing a depressed mood from MDD
7:25: Causes of depression
12:00: Absolutist beliefs and self-compassion
17:45: The paradox of motivation, and small ways to break the cycle
24:20: Fully experiencing your feelings, and emotional release
30:05: Discerning between thoughts and experiences
38:30: Rumination, finding evidence of positive change, and interoception
42:50: Recognizing what you don’t know, being receptive to love, and simply being
52:00: Recap
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Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
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Most of us have gone through a time in life when it felt like we were stuck: unable to deal with our issues, change in useful ways, or make our lives the way we wanted them to be. It’s often not for lack of trying. You read the books, you followed the exercises, you maybe even saw a therapist…but it just didn’t help. On today’s episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore why this happens, and what we can do about it.
Rick shares a simple framework we can approach change through before Forrest digs into the six key factors that prevent us from changing. They talk about self-acceptance and how we can relax our attachment to the current version of ourselves, before moving on to factors that affect motivation. They then discuss working with fears, becoming courageous, and leaning into a more authentic version of who we are.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:25: What we can (and can’t) change
4:15: Taking inventory: What hasn’t worked?
9:00: Seeing what’s true
15:25: Holding onto an identity, recognizing your defenses, and experimenting
29:55: Motivating yourself, and releasing feelings of guilt
36:35: Secondary gains
46:30: Courage, boredom, and fear of the unknown
50:20: Appreciating how our environment influences us
55:40: Seeing what’s already working, and getting new inputs
1:04:00: Authentically being you
1:06:55: Recap
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Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
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Dr. Rick and Forrest open the mailbag and answer questions focused on strengthening our relationships. They explore how we can support friends and loved ones who are experiencing depression while also caring for ourselves, managing different levels of capacity within a relationship, maintaining self-worth and trust in the context of body image insecurities, and navigating the often tricky dynamics of a partner’s relationship with their ex. The episode closes with Rick and Forrest sharing how they’ve handled repair in their parent/child relationship, and what we can do to manage anxieties about the future.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
1:40: Establishing boundaries with a loved one who is depressed
11:00: Managing different levels of capacity in a relationship
16:45: Body image insecurity, and trusting that others love us
31:45: How do I navigate my partner's relationship with their ex?
42:15: I’m nervous that as my child ages they’ll blame me for my parenting. What can I do?
1:02:15: Recap
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Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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If we want to accomplish something in life it usually takes a combination of motivation and consistency - in other words, discipline. Discipline is both essential…and shockingly hard to develop. In today’s episode, Forrest and Dr. Rick explore how we can become more disciplined. They talk about whether discipline came naturally to Rick, and the lessons we can learn from his journey with discipline. Key topics include how to make even frustrating tasks rewarding, the relationship between discipline and self-concept, how to identify key wants, needs, and aspirations, and learning to feel good when we do good.
You can watch this episode on YouTube.
Key Topics:
0:00: Introduction
2:30: Rick’s personal history with cultivating discipline
5:45: Finding reward in necessary tasks
17:50: Engaging in your life, and knowing what you really care about
22:35: The power of your self-concept
31:45: Breaking things down into small parts
36:45: Motivation, distress tolerance, and meta-motivation
46:35: Getting out of a negative mindset, and finding what works for you
54:10: Recap
I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.
Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.
Sponsors
Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.
Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.
Zocdoc helps you find expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care you need, and deliver the type of experience you want. Head to zocdoc.com/being and download the Zocdoc app for FREE.
OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co.
Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!
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Subscribe on iTunes
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