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Listen in as Benjamin defines ambivalence and explains how it leads to overthinking, resistance to new relationships, and dismissing well-suited matches based on a rigid checklist. Lisa opens up about the challenges faced by high-achieving women in their program, including fears related to personal imbalances and complex life circumstances, from medical conditions to navigating parental roles.
Today on 'Finding the Guardian of Your Soul,' Lisa and Benjamin Shield delve into the complex world of ambivalence in romantic relationships. In this episode, titled "Ambivalence.MP3," Lisa and Benjamin explore the simultaneous positive and negative emotions that can halt women seeking love in their tracks.
Listen in as Benjamin defines ambivalence and explains how it leads to overthinking, resistance to new relationships, and dismissing well-suited matches based on a rigid checklist. Lisa opens up about the challenges faced by high-achieving women in their program, including fears related to personal imbalances and complex life circumstances, from medical conditions to navigating parental roles.
Discover how the Shields emphasize creating a vivid vision of an ideal relationship to combat worst-case scenarios, with unique examples like living apart or maintaining separate households. Moreover, learn why they believe successful relationships require work and the importance of vulnerability and seeing one's partner's internal beauty.
Lisa shares personal insights and exercises, like "a day in the life" visualization or vision boards, to help you manifest your ideal partner. She also encourages listeners to seek connection and inspiration through programs like theirs. Tune in for this heartfelt episode filled with real success stories, practical advice, and an invitation to reimagine your love life. Visit lisashield.com for a free 45-minute presentation and schedule your breakthrough call today. Join us as we navigate the highs and lows of love and explore the true path to finding your guardian of the soul.
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Welcome to another enlightening episode of *Finding the Guardian of Your Soul ®*! Join hosts Lisa and Benjamin Shield as they dive into the heart of relationship dynamics in this episode, titled "Bridging the Communication Divide." Today, we’ll unravel the complexities of how men and women communicate differently. While women seek verbal validation and expressions of feelings, men often demonstrate love through actions rather than words.
Lisa and Benjamin will discuss how societal expectations and a lack of role models make it challenging for men to express their emotions. You’ll learn practical tips on how to better understand each other’s communication styles and meet in the middle for a more harmonious relationship. From the need for women to communicate their needs without shaming men, to appreciating the value men place on silence and companionship over constant conversation, this episode offers a roadmap to deepen your connection.
We’ll also explore how men appreciate direct, concise communication and how women can offer feedback in a non-shaming manner. Plus, stay tuned as Lisa and Benjamin share insights into their own positive and grateful relationship, and don’t forget to hear about their special six-month emotionally naked dating course. For more details, visit lisashield.com. So, get ready to bridge the communication divide and strengthen your relationship, right here on Finding the Guardian of Your Soul.
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Welcome back to another enlightening episode of "Finding the Guardian of Your Soul." I'm Lisa Shield, joined by my wonderful co-host, Benjamin Shield. Today, we tackle a critical issue that often plagues even the most successful and intelligent women: self-sabotage in relationships. We'll explore why smart women, despite being ready and eager to find their soulmates, often unintentionally put up walls and push away potential partners. We'll dive into the deep-seated fears, ambivalence, and past baggage that contribute to this self-sabotaging behavior and discuss practical strategies to overcome it. Join us as we unravel the complexities of the frenemy mind and share insights to help you embrace vulnerability and open up to love. If you're ready to stop the cycle of self-sabotage and find the guardian of your soul, this episode is a must-listen. Let's get started!
From misunderstanding simple gestures to resurrecting baggage from past relationships, Lisa and Benjamin dissect the self-protective mechanisms that can hinder meaningful connections. They share compelling stories from their transformative Emotionally Naked Dating course, including clients who nearly missed out on incredible partners due to self-doubt and misguided assumptions.
Discover practical strategies to identify and overcome self-sabotage, the importance of seeking grounded advice, and how honest communication can transform budding relationships. Hear how many of their clients, initially on the brink of giving up on good matches, found lasting love through guided introspection and vulnerability. Don't miss this invaluable episode for any woman seeking to unlock the path to her soul's guardian. Tune in to learn how to stop your frenemy mind and start embracing the love you truly deserve.
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Welcome to another enlightening episode of "Finding the Guardian of Your Soul." Today, your hosts Lisa and Benjamin Shield dive into the topic of what a quality man looks for in a life partner. In this episode, we explore the essential ingredients of a relationship from the male perspective. Benjamin shares insightful details about the desires for kindness, playfulness, and a genuine connection. He stresses the importance of not just being nice, but being kind—highlighting how this creates a nurturing environment for both partners.
Lisa discusses the power of supporting a partner's dreams and how essential it is for creating a deep bond. She underscores the significance of making a man feel appreciated and valued, pointing out that independence in a relationship should be balanced with interdependence to avoid making the man feel unnecessary.
We'll also hear personal anecdotes from the hosts and a success story from their mastermind program, emphasizing the benefits of kindness, compassion, and emotional support from early dating experiences to more established relationships.
Join Lisa and Benjamin as they unravel the curiosities of masculine desires and preferences, offering guidance and insights designed to help you build a stronger, more fulfilling relationship. And don't forget, Lisa invites all listeners to learn more about her emotionally naked dating course available at lisashield.com. Stay tuned for a heartfelt discussion on how to be the partner a quality man seeks.
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In today's thought-provoking episode of 'Finding the Guardian of Your Soul,' we unravel the provocative wonders behind the age-old belief: Do men really crave the pursuit of love? Our host, Lisa Shield, embarks on a deeply introspective quest to dissect the "chase" and its place in modern romance. To spark this illuminating discussion, Lisa taps into her wisdom derived from guiding a mastermind group of 15 women steadfast in their mission to discover lasting love.
Lisa dismantles common dating myths that cloud the path to true connection, by embracing authenticity over game-playing. She provides an enlightening commentary on the nuanced personalities of men, the complexities of communication between sexes, and the magnetic power of women taking the feminine lead. Learn why Lisa argues that a concoction of clarity, genuine interest, and a dash of patience are the true elixirs for a soulmate bond.
In the absence of a special guest, Lisa takes center stage and shares a personal narrative reflecting on her husband's inclinations, revealing that even in the sanctuary of marriage, learning the art of togetherness remains key. Embark on this journey with Lisa as she dissects the dynamics of the chase, explores the proactive roles women can assume in kindling romance, and provides an antidote to the pitfalls of manipulative dating strategies. This episode holds up a mirror to the quest for companionship, urging listeners to foster connections that are organically grown and mutually nourished. Tune in for a session brimming with impactful stories, vital revelations, and Lisa's trademark debunking of relationship myths—all leading to the elusive guardian of your soul.
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Lisa dives into the core principles of what makes a partner truly compatible, sharing her personal narrative of how aligning with someone who cherishes similar fundamental values can set the course for a profound and harmonious union. She intricately maps out the importance of respect, kindness, and commitment, inviting us to observe the subtle nuances of how a man treats those around him as a reflection of his character.
In a world where actions speak louder than words, Lisa offers a passage through her own life lessons, including the revelation of an ex-husband's deceitful tendencies, teaching us to recognize and interpret patterns in behavior. From deeply insightful anecdotes to the poignant moment where vulnerability intertwines with soul-guardianship, this episode is a treasure trove of wisdom for any woman navigating the quest for true love and companionship.
Join us in exploring the delicate dance of mutual care and support, where the right partner not only sees but honors the entirety of your being. It's a call to arms for every woman seeking to embrace her worth beyond professional achievements, to attain success in the arts of love and womanhood. Tune in to discover the four definitive ways to tell if he's the Guardian of Your Soul.
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Witness the poignant narrative of one couple navigating the delicate balance of support without words, where silent companionship speaks volumes. Learn about the weight of the phrase "we need to talk" and its wildly different receptions—where women see an opening for heartfelt dialogue, men may sense an impending storm.
We wrap our hands around the concept of 'taking it slow'—a term laden with disparate hopes and fears for men and women alike. Whether it's fostering an emotional sanctuary or cautiously stepping closer, our guests bear their souls in seeking clarity in commitment.
Bond with us as we dissect the subtleties of serious relationships, from meeting families to planning futures, and the courage required to voice one's deepest needs and intentions.
Don't miss the opportunity to unlock the code of cross-gender communication in dating—where every word counts, every silence is heavy with meaning, and every heart seeks its refuge. Join us for an episode rich in understanding and empathy, as we translate the language of the heart on 'Finding the Guardian of Your Soul.'
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Lisa and Benjamin delve deep into the nuances of comedy in courtship, from the pitfalls of misused humor to the magnetic allure of kindness-infused jests. They share their own adventures, where chuckles have built bridges and forged lasting bonds – and even recount an enchanting vacation episode that touched the heart of a stranger amidst a personal storm.
In today's emotional dance, these love connoisseurs teach us how mirth and play are much more than mere acts of joy; they're threads that weave intimacy and trust in the fabric of togetherness. Learn how to sprinkle wit on serious moments, and why mirroring iconic spirits like Julia Child in living fun can be a breakthrough in love’s quest.
Lisa, in her ever-illuminating wisdom, offers a precious gift – the chance to access a transformative 45-minute presentation, along with a six-month journey designed to remodel lives.
For every soul seeking love out loud, for anyone yearning to attract delightful companionship, this is your clarion call to infuse playfulness into every romantic whisper. So pump up the volume and prepare to laugh your way to love's embrace with 'Finding the Guardian of Your Soul.'
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Key Takeaways:
1. Establishing Friendship and Building Trust: Benjamin and I prioritized getting to know each other before rushing into anything, taking the time to build trust and a sense of safety within the relationship.
2. Nurturing Dreams and Personal Freedom: Supporting each other's individual journeys has been foundational to our relationship. This includes providing space, respecting personal ambitions, and not living someone else's dream.
3. Reflecting Masculinity and Femininity: Understanding the importance of mirroring each other's masculine and feminine energies has been a cornerstone of our lasting romance, promoting growth, gratitude, and deep appreciation.
Listen to the full episode for an in-depth exploration into understanding, connecting, and finding the guardian of your soul. Stay tuned for more episodes as we continue to share valuable insights and experiences. #Podcast #Relationships #Love #Commitment #FindingTheGuardianOfYourSoul
The Art of Giving Space in Relationships: "I gave you space. And the space wasn't just a physical distance. I don't crowd you emotionally. I don't pull on you emotionally, and I give you space."— Lisa Shield
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In this episode of 'Finding the Guardian of Your Soul,' host Lisa Shield delves into the important topic of breaking down emotional walls in relationships. Lisa shares her personal journey and the transformative experience of opening up to her husband, Benjamin, and how this vulnerability brought healing and deep connection to their relationship.
She highlights the importance of being authentic and emotionally naked in relationships, providing valuable insights into recognizing emotional unavailability and finding the courage to be genuine in love. Listeners will gain a deeper understanding of the power of vulnerability and transparency in creating meaningful and loving connections.
Tune in to learn how to take down your own walls and attract the Guardian of Your Soul™
Primary Topic: Understanding Emotional Walls
- How emotional walls manifest in relationships
- The impact of past hurt and disappointment on building walls
- The role of gender stereotypes in managing emotions in relationships
- Challenges of opening up to men and being vulnerable
- Recognizing self-limiting beliefs and internal dialogue
Primary Topic: The Process of Breaking Down Walls
- The need for conscious effort to break down emotional walls
- Taking small steps towards vulnerability and openness
- Overcoming fear of vulnerability and emotional unavailability
- Recognizing and addressing patterns in attracting emotionally unavailable partners
- Understanding male vulnerability in relationships
Primary Topic: Self-Reflection and Personal Growth
- Examining personal experiences and upbringing influencing emotional walls
- Recognizing the impact of past experiences on present relationships
- Taking personal responsibility for emotional barriers
- The healing power of transparency and acceptance
- Challenging self-judgment and building self-acceptance
Primary Topic: Authenticity and Genuine Connection
- Differentiating between facade and genuine vulnerability
- Connecting with inner softness and sweetness
- Encouraging genuine interactions over competitive banter
- Inviting emotional openness and connection in relationships
- Recognizing the qualities that foster lasting connections
Primary Topic: Seeking Support and Growth Opportunities
- Recommending resources for understanding emotional availability
- Encouraging self-reflection and personal development
- Highlighting the benefits of seeking professional guidance
- Opportunities for personal growth and support
- Inviting audience feedback and topic suggestions
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In today's episode of 'Finding the Guardian of Your Soul,' Lisa Shield explores the intricate balance between commitment and freedom that challenges many modern relationships. Decoding the behaviors of men who might seem to avoid commitment, Lisa clarifies that not all men who appear avoidant are averse to intimacy. With personal anecdotes and two decades of expertise, she delves into the diverse motivations that steer men away from long-term attachments—be it the pursuit of a career, valuing their freedom, or complex family dynamics rooted in their childhood.
Lisa discusses why some men maintain a push-pull dynamic, toggling between attraction and the desire for space, and how their partners can take this behavior the wrong way. she also sheds light on the male need for respect and autonomy.
This episode offers actionable steps for women seeking to get closer to understanding the men in their lives. Lisa serves as a beacon of hope, asserting that selecting a compatible partner isn't a fantasy. It is a realistic goal for any woman ready to invest in herself.
"Oxytocin makes a woman feel bonded to a man, especially when we are having repeated orgasms with him. We start to feel like, “Oh, my God, if I'm feeling this way, he must be feeling this way. If I want to bond with him and I'm feeling emotionally connected to him, he must be feeling the same way because we were both in that bedroom together, and we both had the same experience.” And yet, it's not the same for a man as it is for us. Men can compartmentalize sex. They can get turned on and excited, but those feelings do not necessarily translate into wanting a relationship with a certain woman."
— Lisa Shield
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Lisa explains that both men and women find the dating process challenging and that men today may feel hesitant to approach women because of a fear of being rejected or because of the Me Too Movement. She offers a personal and detailed account of her experiences dealing with narcissistic individuals and provides professional insights drawing from her own struggles.
Lisa shares how a willingness to face the worst parts of herself led her to a fulfilling and enduring 21-year marriage. To illustrate how facing adversity can lead to our biggest breakthroughs, she shares about being humiliated by and standing up to her mentor while getting her Master’s degree.
Quotes:
"I am so disheartened when I read all of the reports out there about how many people are giving up on finding love and resigning themselves to staying single."
— Lisa Shield
"If we see life as a school and all of the experiences we're having as life lessons, we are able to move forward in a better way towards our goals and dreams."
— Lisa Shield
"They've actually done studies, and they've shown that when it comes to romantic signaling, women actually send the first message, not the man. So the woman signals to the man that it is safe for him to approach her."
— Lisa Shield
"You've got to send men the signals. You've got to smile. You've got to run your fingers through your hair and flirt a bit, or men won't approach you in public."
— Lisa Shield
"Narcissists can tell which women will be harder from the ones that will be easier to manipulate.
— Lisa Shield
"You don't want a man who offers you false flattery to win your favor, which is what narcissists often do."
— Lisa Shield
"Surrendering to this process means acknowledging that you have blind spots and things you don't know, you don't know. And that you start to reach out to coaches and mentors and people like me who can actually help you see your patterns and show you how to break them."
— Lisa Shield
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This master class is a life-changing journey for anyone seeking to find true connection and emotional intimacy. Lisa unveils the art of constructing authentic, positive online dating profiles that stand out while stressing the value of steering clear of negativity. Her unique approach goes beyond surface-level tips; it's about transformative personal growth and the proactive pursuit of love.
Listeners will gain wisdom on breaking free from past patterns, reinventing personal dating dynamics, and the subtle communication techniques that foster a profound bond with prospective partners. Lisa's emphasis on authenticity, understanding the male psyche, and harmonizing feminine and masculine energies promises a fresh perspective on attracting a partner who is truly on your level.
We invite you to tune in as Lisa guides us through her methodology, including enlightening exercises and the delicate balance between strength and femininity in dating. This episode is a must-hear for anyone ready to invest in themselves, change their love paradigm, and discover the soulful, lasting relationship they deserve.
Embracing Personal Growth in Dating: "We approach dating as a spiritual path of personal growth and transformation, not as just a means to an end."
— Lisa Shield [00:03:50 → 00:03:59]
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What You’ll Hear In This Episode:
- Challenges faced when dating as a widow
- Balancing the program's time commitment with personal life
- The value of investing in personal growth and dating success
- Feelings of loneliness and lack of control in the dating process
- Finding confidence and determination to pursue love again
- Learning from past relationships through the program
- Overcoming grief and reevaluating life priorities after loss
- Embracing femininity and letting go of anxious attachment styles
- Open communication and shared commitments establishing a strong connection
- The "final five" approach and focusing on compatibility
- The non-linear approach of the program and its advantages over traditional therapy
- Success in finding a fulfilling relationship with a previously divorced man
Key Quotes:The Power of Spontaneity: "And I was actually surprised because I don't do spontaneous things typically. I always make long and hard decisions and I do all the analysis and think about. But I guess we just clicked and I made that spontaneous decision at the end of our call, which was supposed to be an hour and a half."
— Elaine
Understanding Grief Cycles in Retirement: "Because I was also having grief cycles from the retirement, which I didn't have the first or second year after I lost my husband."
— Elaine
Reflecting on Past Relationships: "I think the piece that resonates with me the most is the exercise where you go back and do an analysis of your past relationship, from your parents to people you dated, to people you were married. And it's a group, but it's individual. And I was scared to death to do it on my late husband. Right. And I talked to Rebecca, my coach, and, you know, this one worries me, because I try to think of all of the positives, and you have to come up with positives and negatives. I haven't tried to think backwards, well, this could have been better, and that could have been better because he passed and he had a good marriage. Well, I did the exercise, and it shocked me because he had a lot of the traits that all of my past relationships had."
— Elaine
Embracing Femininity and Overcoming Attachment Styles: "And being able to step back and let the guy be the guy and be playful, that was hard for me, being playful. But you gave all the tips and the tricks and the samples and the other women that we can talk to all the time, we all kind of come up with little things that we could do."
— Elaine
Exploring Modern Dating: "Because what I wanted to do was get comfortable with the whole process, tap into my naked data, and be curious and open minded."
— Elaine
Dating Priorities and Compatibility: "Even if he had the money, he'd be uncomfortable, and so I would use that as my. Instead of just, oh, he doesn't make enough money to do what I want to do because, I don't know, maybe he's got millions, but does he like to travel the way? Does he like to eat out the places I like to eat? Does he like to do the things I like to do?"
— Elaine
The Power of Vulnerability in New Relationships: "I went in this with, I'm going to just be open and vulnerable because I don't have time, right? I could be dead tomorrow, so I want to make sure this is the right fit."
— Elaine
Finding Love in the Digital Age: "And that's what started our connection, because I had also gone through a journey where I lost a bunch of weight, too. So we had that in common."
— Elaine
Personal Development Courses: "And it makes you feel so good after you take it that you actually start looking forward to it."
— Elaine
Investing in Personal Growth: "Who better to invest in is me. What I didn't know is how much value I would get out of it until I started down the process. And to me, I got every dollar out of it and to justify it."
— Elaine
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What You’ll Hear In This Episode:
- The paradox of choice and fear of choosing the wrong partner
- Waiting for perfection
- Fear of losing freedom and concerns over reduced time for personal interests and social circles
- Anxiety about committing to one partner and losing the excitement of multiple intimacies
- The desire for mental and emotional space within a relationship
- The impact of childhood and parental relationship models
- How past relationship traumas can influence views on commitment
- The difficulty of opening up emotionally after being deeply hurt
- The challenge of overcoming feelings of failure from previous relationships
- The struggle with emotional openness and vulnerability
- The importance of communication skills in fostering a healthy relationship
- Mirroring masculinity, being playful, and supportive in relationships
- Adapting a forgiving, drama-free, and patient approach
- Issues related to timing, career aspirations, and personal growth
- The feeling of being diminished in the presence of a highly successful partner
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What You'll Hear In This Episode:
- Brief background on Elena being a past client and Heath's personal growth journey
- Heath's desire to positively impact someone's life
- The notion of their relationship being easy and fulfilling
- Mutual acknowledgment and appreciation of each other's effort
- The age factor and defying common perceptions
- Elena's perspective on how counseling helped her and their relationship
- Heath's insight on not settling and clarity in relationship intentions
- Elena's transformative experience with Lisa's course
- Elena's realization of her blind spots in understanding healthy relationships
- Elena's proactive approach to dating: over 90 dates, improved profile, professional photos
- The value of Q&A calls with other women during the course
- The influence of Lisa and Benjamin's relationship model
Key quotes:
"You attract certain characteristics maybe because of childhood. For example, daughters of alcoholics attract alcoholics, and they're attractive to them because that's what they know. So you have to really work on yourself to change that pattern and to work on yourself and be attracted to other types of men or situations." — Elena
"The course was the best thing I bought for me out of anything. It doesn't compare to any clothing, jewelry, furniture, car, anything, because that's an investment in me." — Elena
“It seems like she goes out of her way to recognize the effort I put into the relationship. And again, that's just something that I wasn't accustomed to. And I try to do the same thing again…we both got lucky in that we both try to compliment, thank, and appreciate the other person. I think that goes a tremendous distance in making a relationship healthy." — Heath
“I'm empowering my female clients with tools and insight into male behavior so that we can shift ourselves because that's where our power lies. We're not going to change men. The way we're going to change our relationship with men is by changing the way we relate to them." — Lisa Shield
"I learned a great amount of information, and I enjoyed dating so much more after the class because before it was frustrating, it's scary, it's anxious, and it was a very different experience." — Elena
“What you always were saying, Lisa: wonderful men are out there. It's just something we need to see in our mind and change our mind." — Elena
"I think many women come into relationships, and they figure, look, he's the giver, I'm the receiver, and it's all about me and me getting my needs met. And that often men don't often get their needs met, and women may think that they are. But we really teach the women in our course how to be great partners." — Lisa Shield
"I'm more attracted to the person that Elena is than what she looks like. She's beautiful, but I'm more attracted to parts of her that I have seen through our interactions." — Heath
"To be so in love, to meet somebody at this age, to find somebody who will accept your children…The hundred miles or so that you were apart. None of that mattered in the end." — Lisa Shield
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What You'll Hear In This Episode:
- How control can affect a man’s sense of personal freedom and push him away
- The dynamic where women try to control the narrative
- The devastating effects of holding mistakes over a man
- Emphasizing the value of space and growth in partnerships
- Benjamin’s account of a past relationship and the importance of aligning on key life choices
- Lisa’s insights on honesty, awareness, and the toxicity of control
- The significance of forgiveness and overcoming control to avoid resentment
- How facing challenges, including affairs, can enhance emotional intimacy
- Exploring the idea of moving past a binary view of right and wrong in relationships
- Rumi's philosophy on transcending conflict for relationship enhancement
- Explaining the concept of baiting and switching in relationships
- Avoiding the urge to pressure partners into life-changing decisions
- The effect of dominance on the respect and balance in a relationship
- Considerations of how past experiences inform current relationship behavior
- Strategies for fostering communication and support to combat controlling dynamics
- Identifying harmful behaviors, such as nagging and passive-aggressiveness
- Understanding the outcomes of disrespecting a partner’s capabilities or desires
Key quotes:
“We all carry these behaviors into relationships because we have a history of being wounded, damaged, hurt, manipulated, lied to." — Lisa Shield
"And I would just see some men get smaller and smaller and smaller, they become children again, and the wife becomes the mother." — Benjamin Shield
“Growing up as a child, it was humiliating for me to see my father belittled." — Benjamin Shield
"I think it's because we love each other so much and we're able to have fun and play and trust each other and have a lot of space." — Lisa Shield
"Let's say that a man makes a mistake. Let's say that he gets drunk one night, he's on a business trip, he sleeps with a woman one time, and he goes and tells his wife because he wants to be clear. She could hold that over him for decades. Decades. And so there's this hierarchy where he's feeling controlled by his mistake." — Benjamin Shield
"One of the most controlling behaviors is when anyone makes a mistake in a relationship, and his partner cannot move into a place of forgiveness...holding it over your partner is one of the worst forms of control." — Lisa Shield
“[The silent treatment] is so controlling because you can't talk about it. And so you just sit, and you don't even know sometimes what it's about…And it's just like suddenly someone just is silent and turns away, and horrible – horrible! There's no resolving it, and the person is in complete control when the relationship starts going out." — Benjamin Shield
"If you're a woman, you may be in a relationship with a man who's controlling, who's doing some of the same things. control in relationships doesn't work. There is a better way." — Lisa Shield
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What You'll Hear In This Episode:
- Personal anecdotes to support holiday socializing as a means to find love
- Advantages of seeking love through dating platforms during the holidays
- Maintaining a positive self-talk and mindset while online dating
- The importance of taking initiative in dating
- The journey to self-appreciation and learning to value men
- Practice and the necessity of cultivating skills for emotional connection at social events
- The transformative experience of practicing emotional connectivity at a party
- Moving away from analytical thinking to emotional presence
- Expanding one's personal limits to prepare for potential relationships
Key quotes:
"It's so important to remember that this can be one of the most social times of the year and one of the best times to get out and meet people, especially to meet new people." — Lisa Shield "It's all how you choose to look at it. You can go into this holiday season feeling sad and feeling badly about being without a partner, or you can choose to see it as an opportunity, right?" — Lisa Shield"I can't change things in the past, but I can change my mindset. I can change my perspective. I can change the story I'm telling myself." — Lisa Shield"An emotional connection is when two people get emotionally naked with one another, and they talk about the kinds of things that a man and a woman would only share with each other in an intimate way." — Lisa Shield "I was trying so hard to be interesting that I wasn't really interested in other people. So the game I would play with myself over the holidays was to go to parties and practice making an emotional connection with men." — Lisa ShieldContinue On Your Journey:
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What You'll Hear In This Episode:
- Impact of Lisa’s father's absence and behavior on personal relationships
- Her realization about the impact of blaming parents for relationship struggles
- Deciding to transform and not be defined by the past
- Transitioning from blaming to taking responsibility for one’s own happiness
- Lisa’s experience of rejection and fear originating from the father-daughter relationship
- Her decision to seek and attract qualities in a partner that were lacking in the father
- Meeting the right partner after personal growth and emotional healing
- Letting go of past baggage and emotional wounds from previous relationships
Key quotes:
"I’d meet somebody and tell them my story. Then I meet someone else, and I tell them my story. Eventually, I started to see how inane and boring it is to keep retelling your story as if that's who you are." — Lisa Shield
“It hit me that carrying all of this blame and this old story that it was my father's fault that I couldn't have a healthy relationship with a man was getting in my way." — Lisa Shield
"I decided that if I couldn't heal my relationship with my own father, that I could still heal my relationships with men." — Lisa Shield
"I went on 96 1st dates. The 96th date was my husband Benjamin. The whole time I was putting myself out there, as I was sitting across from a man on a date, I often felt like being rejected by my father all over again. Those fears would come up, and I would have to deal with them. I would sit with my feelings, I would love myself, and I would talk myself off the ledge." — Lisa Shield
"Instead of using my relationship with my father as an excuse for why I couldn't have the kind of relationship I wanted, I used it as the reason why I had to go out and find the kind of guy I wanted…I knew I had the power to walk forward, to acknowledge that my relationship with my father was never going to be what I wanted, but that I could get out there and do the work and face my fears and learn how to separate the good men from the not so good men and find a Guardian of My Soul." — Lisa Shield
"I had to learn how to love myself. No matter what was going on around me, no matter whether a guy wrote back to me or asked me on a second date or not, I knew that I had to keep moving forward, healing my heart, and loving myself." — Lisa Shield
Continue On Your Journey:
Lisa Shield | YouTube | Facebook | Instagram | Book a Call With Lisa
Email the podcast at: [email protected]
Want more content like this?
Continue On Your Journey:
Lisa Shield| YouTube | Facebook | Instagram | Book a Call with Lisa
Email the podcast at: [email protected]
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What You'll Hear In This Episode:
- Caroline's past concern for approval and fear of abandonment
- Her decision to take a dating course to improve her approach to relationships
- Matt’s frustration with the non-committal nature of dating apps
- Valuing communication and shared values in relationships
- The two meeting through Tinder and developing a strong connection
- Matt's appreciation for Caroline's directness and clarity
- Caroline and Matt's decision to consider premarital counseling
- Caroline's focus on career and personal growth before seeking a partner
- Both guests highlighting communication as a key element in their relationship
- How Lisa’s course facilitated their mutual understanding
- The importance of making lifelong connections and identifying relationship needs
- Learning to be emotionally vulnerable and its impact on relationships
Key quotes:
"I realized that I needed some help, some different type of help that I wasn't getting anywhere else in the dating world." — Caroline
"I would have rather been liked for something I wasn't than disliked for something I was. I was just more concerned with the approval." — Caroline
“So it took just enough heartbreaks for me, honestly, to realize that, yes, I was doing like reading books on dating and love and how to improve myself, and I was going to therapy on and off, but it still was not producing anything different. I wasn't doing enough differently, so I had to do something." — Caroline
"But the older I've gotten, I've learned a lot through [past] relationships of really what I want and being able to communicate with somebody on a totally different level. [...] It's really refreshing, I guess you could say, to find somebody that you can really just talk to and not really be judged or anything like that." — Matt
"I wouldn't have met Matt if I waited, because there was just a type of guy I was going for. I had this image of what I wanted him to look like, what kind of work I wanted him to do, where I wanted him to live. I had this whole image of what I thought I wanted. And after taking your course, I was like, dude…What are the five qualities I need, absolutely need, in somebody that I could not live without? And those five qualities are beyond a job title. They are beyond what city a person lives in. They're beyond somebody's height." — Caroline
"We have values that we share together as far as being truthful and speaking our mind with each other. We're very direct with each other…sometimes one of us might have our feelings hurt for a little bit when we are direct that way, but I think it's for the best because if you don't have these tough conversations, then you're going to be at this level but never achieve something greater." — Matt
“The lifelong friendships and connections I've made in your program, like the quality of the other women, the quality of you, Lisa–I have a lifetime connection with all of you. I'd say that's one thing that you do…Just having such good quality people I respect and I admire and I look up to and I learn from in my corner." — Caroline
"We talked about some of our core values that we had as far as what we want in a partner and just the communication that we were able to have just in such a short period of time…" — Matt [00:17:25 → 00:17:39]
“She invested in herself to want something better in her life and to know exactly what she wants. And I very much respect it that she said, hey, look, this is a problem in my life…Let me figure this out. I'll do a program, and really figure it out and of what I really want." — Matt
Continue On Your Journey:
Lisa Shield | YouTube | Facebook | Instagram | Book a Call With Lisa
Email the podcast at: [email protected]
Want more content like this?
Continue On Your Journey:
Lisa Shield| YouTube | Facebook | Instagram | Book a Call with Lisa
Email the podcast at: [email protected]
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