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  • Stella and Sasha welcome freelance writer, free-thinker, and current chairman of the Lesbian and Gay Alliance in Iceland, Eldur Smári Kristinsson, offering a revealing overview of Iceland’s rapid societal transformation into what he describes as a "gender-crazed dystopia”.

    In this episode, Eldur describes how over the last 25 years, Iceland has transitioned from a nation advancing progressive gay rights to one where gender ideology has infiltrated institutions, including government, education, and even the Church of Iceland. This change, Eldur argues, has been driven by ideological activists and well-funded interest groups seeking to perpetuate their influence.

    His testimony underscores the deep societal shifts underway in Iceland and the challenges of addressing contentious gender issues amid institutional complicity and media narratives.

    For links and resources relevant to this episode, access the full show notes at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-194

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    Honesty and authenticity are critical when discussing identity issues. Rather than avoiding uncomfortable truths or pandering to claims that may oversimplify complex realities, fostering honest discussions can help adolescents build resilience and navigate complexities with greater confidence. Parents, educators, and professionals must strike a balance between compassion and clarity, empowering young people to understand and embrace the nuanced realities of identity.

    Through informed, empathetic engagement, society can better support adolescents in exploring their identities while safeguarding their well-being and long-term health.

    In this bonus episode for premium subscribers, Dr. Hakeem strongly advocates for transparency, critical thinking, and a commitment to ethical care in addressing gender dysphoria. His approach focuses on safeguarding the psychological and physical health of young people while fostering an environment where they can thoughtfully explore their identities without undue pressure.

    Watch our full length episode with Dr. Az Hakeem: https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-193

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  • Eksik bölüm mü var?

    Akışı yenilemek için buraya tıklayın.

  • Stella & Sasha welcome author, psychiatrist, and psychotherapist Dr. Az Hakeem to the show, sharing his experience and insights from his extensive career spanning over two decades in the field of gender dysphoria. He reflects how he initially recognized the growing confusion around the issue and noted that the real "madness" was not in the individuals struggling with gender identity, but in society's response to them.

    In this episode, not only does he revisit his poignant and popular “goth mock-5” analysis as referenced in his previous appearance on Gender: A Wider Lens, but Dr. Hakeem also outlines his four distinct categories of individuals within the broad trans identity label, offering insights into their psychological and sociological distinctions based on his extensive clinical experience with gender dysphoric individuals. He emphasizes that understanding these distinctions is crucial for addressing the needs and motivations of each group more accurately.

    Other key ideas explored in this conversation include the intriguing intersection of autistic thinking and queer theory; Dr. Hakeem’s perspective as a UK clinician on the future of GIDS (the Gender Identity Development Service at the NHS Tavistock Clinic); as well as the concept of the “overvalued idea” and how understanding it can provide greater insight into gender dysphoria and trans ideation.

    Additionally, Dr. Hakeem shares valuable advice for parents navigating conversations with their trans-identified children, emphasizing a curious, non-confrontational approach that encourages young people to reflect on how they arrived at their conclusions, rather than simply focusing on the conclusions themselves.

    For links and resources relevant to this episode, access the full show notes at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-193

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    Dysphoria is not a one-size-fits-all experience but rather a complex phenomenon that varies significantly from person to person. Factors like personal history, family dynamics, societal expectations, and even localized community attitudes all influence how dysphoria is felt and interpreted. While some people may experience dysphoria as an intense discomfort with their physical body, others may feel it more as a social dissonance or a sense of incongruence with traditional gender roles. This variability suggests the need for a patient, individualized approach, allowing each person the space to explore their identity in context rather than rushing into interventions that might overlook these diverse influences. By approaching gender questions with an individualized, patient-centered perspective, this approach supports genuine self-alignment and nurtures well-rounded personal growth.

    In this bonus episode for premium subscribers, Aaron Kimberly advocates for both individual autonomy in gender expression and the importance of responsible, informed guidance that encourages authenticity without immediate recourse to medicalization. By focusing on informed choices and gradual exploration, Aaron argues, individuals can find alignment within themselves, rooted in authenticity and supported by thoughtful, attentive care; seek to understand the underlying factors of gender identity and dysphoria; and ultimately foster a process that encourages self-discovery, resilience, and growth.

    Watch our full length episode with Aaron Kimberly: https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-192

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  • Sasha and Stella welcome Aaron Kimberly back to the show, nearly a year after her first appearance on the podcast. Aaron has undergone a remarkable transformation, returning to her female identity and embracing a new understanding and acceptance of herself. This episode delves into Aaron’s complex journey of self-discovery, shaped by her unique experiences with a rare ovotesticular disorder of sex development (DSD), her longstanding identity as a butch lesbian, and the medical, professional, and social experiences that have shaped her path.

    In this episode, Aaron examines the role of the butch lesbian community that once fostered a vital sense of belonging—a community that, as she remarks, has largely faded, leaving young butch lesbians with limited support. She suggests that this shift might be contributing to the increased rates of medical transition among younger lesbians today. Her deep commitment to understanding the diverse reasons for sex non-conformity, coupled with her involvement in lesbian communities, has cultivated her interest in the cultural contexts of gender and atypical bodies, often pathologized or medicalized in society.

    This is an incredibly compelling conversation reflecting on the evolving relationship between lesbian identity, butch identity, and the implications of a medicalized appearance.

    For links and resources relevant to this episode, access the full show notes at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-192

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    To learn more about our sponsors, visit:

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    Encouraging workplace policies that support anti-discrimination without imposing specific beliefs allows employees from all backgrounds—whether critical social justice advocates, feminists, conservatives, minorities, LGBTQ individuals, or those who are religious or agnostic—to align with an organization’s commitment to fairness and inclusivity. This approach empowers individuals to clarify their own philosophical beliefs regarding race, gender, and identity, enabling them to advocate for anti-discrimination from their unique perspectives rather than imposing a culture of conformity to a single narrative or ideology.

    Furthermore, this approach shifts the focus; rather than feeling isolated or viewed as the enemy for holding different perspectives and challenging authoritarian workplace policies, individuals are empowered to engage in open dialogue. This proactive engagement assists employers in designing inclusive, non-authoritarian frameworks that respect diverse viewpoints and promote equality.

    In this bonus episode for premium subscribers, Helen Pluckrose and Carrie Clark discuss their work supporting various organizations navigating the obstacles posed by authoritarian practices in social justice initiatives. They share insights into the challenges of safeguarding free expression, tolerance, and reasoned debate in a climate that often prioritizes conformity over complexity.

    Watch our full length episode with Helen Pluckrose and Carrie Clark: https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-191

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  • Sasha and Stella welcome writers Carrie Clark and Helen Pluckrose to the show for thoughtful and provocative dialogue, critically examining the intersections of identity, sex-based rights, mental health, and societal influences. Drawing from both personal experiences and professional insights, they explore complex and sensitive ideas around self-expression, feminism, and gender, encouraging a nuanced and reflective perspective. The conversation also delves into the controversy following Genspect’s 2023 Bigger Picture Conference in Denver, known as "Blue Dress Gate," unpacking the cultural and social tensions surrounding the event.

    For links and resources relevant to this episode, access the full show notes at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-191

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    Incorporating regular strength training can be profoundly beneficial, especially for women. Beyond the physical gains, such as improved bone density, hormonal balance, and overall health, strength training cultivates a unique sense of mental resilience and personal empowerment. Unlike purely aerobic exercise, lifting weights offers stability, balance, and structural protection that can prevent injury and promote functional longevity well into older age. Strength training doesn’t require lifting heavy from the beginning; rather, it encourages a personalized, steady approach that’s adaptable to one’s capabilities and fitness level, fostering both physical strength and self-confidence as goals are met and surpassed. The benefits extend far beyond muscle; weight training encourages inner strength, discipline, and the ability to handle life's challenges with resilience.

    In this bonus episode for premium subscribers, April emphasizes that building physical strength contributes to psychological strength and that training is beneficial for long-term health and overall vitality. And in this special premium subscriber exclusive, our very own Sasha, a weightlifting enthusiast herself, invites April to evaluate her deadlift. April generously brings her own depth of experience and eye for detail, insightfully critiquing Sasha’s powerlifting form, sharing practical guidance and a few tips.

    Watch our full length episode with April Hutchinson: https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-190

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  • Sasha & Stella welcome April Hutchinson — former team Canada powerlifter, North American deadlift record holder, fairness for women in sports advocate and grateful recovering alcoholic — to discuss her incredible journey from battling alcohol addiction to becoming a world-class powerlifter. During COVID, she turned to powerlifting as part of her recovery, and within a short period, she achieved record-breaking lifts, catapulting her to elite status in the sport holding national records, an extraordinary feat given her short time in the sport. However, her career took a dramatic turn.

    In this episode, April recounts the controversy she faced in the powerlifting world. After discovering that a male-to-female transgender athlete was competing against women, she felt compelled to speak out driven by her commitment to truth and fairness. What followed was a tumultuous battle with the Canadian Powerlifting Union that led to her suspension, highlighting the tension between truth-telling, fairness in sports, and the broader societal debates around gender.

    April shares the personal and professional consequences she faced, the courage it took to stand by her convictions, and her fight for fairness in women’s sports. Her story is a powerful testament to resilience, truth-telling, and standing up for what’s right, no matter the cost.

    For links and resources relevant to this episode, access the full show notes at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-190

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  • In this episode, Sasha and Stella reflect on the Bigger Picture Conference in Lisbon, discussing notable takeaways from various speakers. A key theme explored is how the gender debate has expanded into a multidisciplinary conversation, no longer just confined to therapists or concerned parents but drawing in academics, sociologists, and political thinkers worldwide.

    Their discussion covers a range of topics, including institutional capture, mass formation theory, societal movements, the roles of parents—particularly mothers—in navigating gender questioning, the ethics within the field of gender medicine, and the power of truth in countering ideological extremism.

    For links and resources relevant to this episode, access the full show notes at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-189

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    Sasha Ayad: https://sashaayad.com/parenting-coaching

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    To learn more about our sponsors, visit:

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    The idea of doubling down despite evidence to the contrary being so prevalent, not only in individuals but in institutions as well, is a defense mechanism, rooted in fear. The fear is often tied to high stakes, like personal identity, reputation, physical/mental health, or even financial performance and career stakes. There is a self-deception and rigidity in beliefs to protect oneself from the fear. There is an enormous emotional and psychological toll that comes with realizing one may have been wrong, especially on critical issues like gender and parenting. The fear response, as well as the difficulty in processing contradictory information, often stems from a profound sense of self-preservation.

    In this bonus episode for premium subscribers, Stella & Sasha discuss the power of exploring alternative perspectives with curiosity and openness, rather than reacting defensively to deeply held beliefs. They highlight how approaching self-awareness with interest instead of fear fosters a more compassionate and gentle path to personal growth. This method allows individuals to reflect without the pressure of feeling like their core identity is under threat.

    When led by fear, people often double down to protect their identity or avoid discomfort. In contrast, approaching new ideas with interest encourages openness, making room for growth and deeper self-awareness. Stella and Sasha emphasize that the hardest part of evolving is often confronting the realization that we've misled ourselves or others, and that's where self-compassion becomes essential.

    Watch our full length episode about the psychology of doubling down: https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-188

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  • This conversation connects cognitive dissonance surrounding gender identity to cultural and institutional dynamics, including developments in gender medicine and resistance to emerging evidence that challenges prevailing medical practices — illustrating how deeply held beliefs become difficult to abandon even in the face of contradictory evidence.

    The core idea is that just because something cannot be proven false doesn’t mean we should accept it as true. Stella and Sasha imply that trying to "research a way out" of this issue isn't the answer, as many are emotionally invested in their decisions regarding medicalization, especially parents of trans-identified children.

    This episode underscores the value of self-forgiveness and cognitive flexibility, emphasizing the importance of remaining open to re-evaluating one's path and advocating that winning "hearts and minds" is key to changing perspectives rather than relying solely on evidence. While systemic changes and broader public awareness could help shift the conversation, ultimately, the cultural "war" over gender identity will not be resolved easily or quickly, with some people doubling down on their decisions for life.

    For links and resources relevant to this episode, access the full show notes at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-188

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    To learn more about our sponsors, visit:

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  • Sasha and Stella speak live from the Genspect Conference in Lisbon, Portugal, with special guest Billboard Chris, a Canadian activist dedicated to challenging gender ideology through public engagement and thought-provoking messages.

    In this conversation, Chris explores the psychological and cultural forces influencing social changes around gender, sharing his motivations for activism and the journey that led him to raise awareness about the implications of puberty blockers for children. He also discusses strategies for facilitating constructive dialogues with those who hold differing views, emphasizing the significance of calm, rational discourse in controversial discussions.

    This episode examines the complex interplay of gender ideology in our culture, focusing on ongoing debates over children’s medical treatments, freedom of speech, educational content in schools, and the critical need to address the mental health challenges surrounding gender dysphoria.

    Chris shares personal anecdotes from his activism, including experiences at the United Nations and community engagement, emphasizing the importance of parental involvement and informed consent in children's healthcare decisions.

    Listeners will be confronted with a compelling exploration of the current landscape surrounding gender issues and the potential for meaningful change through open dialogue.

    For links and resources relevant to this episode, access the full show notes at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-187

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    As debates surrounding gender medicine continue to evolve, the contrasting views within society become more evident. The polarization surrounding this issue, particularly in the U.S., often pits conservative religious beliefs against progressive advocacy for LGBTQ+ rights. This dichotomy raises critical questions about the ethics of affirming identity claims, particularly in relation to minors seeking medical interventions.

    While recent years have yielded more whistleblowers coming forward in the context of gender medicine, more are necessary to foster broader awareness among healthcare providers and clinicians in the field. Despite the release of comprehensive systematic reviews validating many concerns raised by whistleblowers, medical professionals who speak out against practices they view as harmful continue to face threats of job loss and legal repercussions. So the question remains: how can healthcare professionals balance compassion for individuals experiencing identity crises with the need to uphold ethical standards and honor the integral natural truths of biology in gender medicine?

    In this bonus episode for premium subscribers, Vanessa Sivadge emphasizes that while compassion for children struggling with their gender identity is crucial, affirming what she perceives as a "lie" (specifically, endorsing medical interventions like hormone treatments) does not provide a genuine solution. Instead, she advocates for raising awareness about the ethical implications of such practices and encourages medical professionals to speak out against harmful actions within the healthcare system, all while prioritizing the safety and well-being of children, underscoring the need for honesty and integrity in addressing the complex issues surrounding identity and medical care.

    Watch our full length episode with Vanessa Sivadge: https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-186

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  • In this episode, Stella & Sasha sit down with Vanessa Sivadge, a former pediatric nurse at Texas Children's Hospital, who courageously exposed the illegal use of federally funded insurance programs to cover sex hormones and transgender treatments for minors. Initially coming forward anonymously as a whistleblower, Vanessa believed her concerns would incite meaningful change, only to face repercussions from the government. After disclosing the hospital’s concealed practices, she was met with an unexpected visit from FBI agents—an act she interprets as intimidation.

    Vanessa recounts her journey, reflecting on her decision to publicly come forward in June 2024. She shares how she faced almost immediate backlash, being placed under investigation, put on leave, and ultimately terminated, prompting her to pursue legal action for wrongful termination.

    This conversation examines the evolving 'groupthink' culture within hospitals, exacerbated by the pandemic, which has discouraged open dialogue and questioning among medical professionals. Vanessa’s story underscores the complexities of healthcare practices, specifically surrounding gender-affirming care, the ethical implications of medical documentation, and the critical importance of safeguarding patient welfare. It also emphasizes the value of whistleblowers as empowering and necessary for fostering accountability and promoting a culture of transparency. Drawing from her experiences, Vanessa offers up three essential strategies for individuals contemplating speaking out about their concerns.

    For links and resources relevant to this episode, access the full show notes at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-186

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  • Sasha & Stella invite renowned feminist and author Julie Bindel to reflect on her decades-long advocacy for women and girls, in-particular her recent work investigating gender ideology. Julie shares her motivation behind her new podcast series, Julie in Genderland, which amplifies the voices of parents grappling with their children being caught in the gender identity craze.

    In this episode, Julie discusses her undercover work exposing gay conversion therapy, drawing parallels to what she calls modern "gay conversion therapy" through transgender ideology impacting gender-nonconforming youth. She explores evolving narratives around sexuality, the weaponization of female empathy in trans activism, and the systemic failures in supporting marginalized groups, particularly vulnerable girls, as seen in the Rochdale child abuse scandal. Julie also examines the trust placed in medical professionals and the societal influences shaping parents' decisions, spotlighting her podcast series, Julie in Genderland, and its focus on the impact of gender ideology on families and the challenges they encounter.

    With insights into radical gender politics, parental trauma, and the complexities of lesbian identity, this episode offers listeners an enlightening exploration of gender issues, feminism, child safeguarding, and activism. It sheds light on the intricate intersections of identity, politics, and personal experiences in today's sociopolitical climate.

    For links and resources relevant to this episode, access the full show notes at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-185

    Buy Our Book – When Kids Say They’re Trans: A Guide for Thoughtful Parents at https://whenkidssaytheyretrans.com/

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    Sasha Ayad: https://sashaayad.com/parenting-coaching

    Stella O’Malley: http://www.stellaomalley.com/parent-coaching

    To learn more about our sponsors, visit:

    Therapy First at https://www.therapyfirst.org/

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    This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe



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    In today’s discourse, many issues are approached with a moral absolutist perspective. Positions are often viewed as either entirely right or wrong, with little room for nuanced understanding or compromise. This binary thinking leads to more extreme reactions and a diminished tolerance for opposing viewpoints.

    “If you had facts and reason on your side, you could tolerate a conversation.”

    The tendency to frame disagreements as crises or moral emergencies heightens the stakes of discussions. Issues like gender identity in sports or public health measures become not just political or social questions but moral imperatives. This ‘crisis mode’ escalates emotional responses, reduces the likelihood of constructive dialogue, and discourages open debate and the exchange of ideas - ultimately undermining the possibility of finding common ground or reaching compromises.

    There is no denying the significant role that media, especially social media, plays in amplifying and reinforcing polarized views. Algorithms and content curation contribute to the formation of echo chambers, exposing individuals primarily to information that aligns with their pre-existing beliefs. This feedback loop exacerbates polarization, perpetuating the framework for debates in terms of moral battles.

    In this bonus episode for premium subscribers, Maud Maron reflects on the phenomenon of contemporary disagreements intensifying into a stark dichotomy of ‘good versus evil’, rather than being viewed as areas for legitimate debate - examining how this cultural and social trend (heavily fostered by the influence of social media) is creating a landscape where differing opinions are not just seen as alternative perspectives but as existential threats.

    Watch our full length episode with Maud Maron: https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-184

    For instructions on setting up a private feed to listen to our premium content in your favorite podcast app, visit https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/how-to-listen-to-our-full-premium.

  • Stella & Sasha welcome former public defender and education advocate, Maud Maron to the show for a fascinating conversation examining the intersection of education and politics. Maud reflects on the troubling shifts within schools, where merit and academic standards are being overshadowed by ideological pressures.

    In this episode, Maud discusses the evolving landscape of education, where traditional academic standards are increasingly being influenced or overshadowed by ideological pressures from social and political agendas. She highlights the impact of identity politics, gender ideology, and equity measures on core educational values. Drawing from her personal experiences from pushing for enhanced math standards, to becoming embroiled in a heated debate over gender guidelines in New York City's public schools, Maud recounts the tactics used to silence her dissent. Despite her efforts to initiate a respectful dialogue on the impact of gender policies on female athletes, Maud faced significant backlash, raising broader concerns about free speech and the pressures of ideological conformity within educational and public forums.

    This episode offers invaluable insights for parents, educators, political followers, free speech advocates, and those curious about how the politicization of education and ideological pressures are diluting the emphasis on academic performance, sparking concerns about the long-term impact on students' education and society at large.

    For links and resources relevant to this episode, access the full show notes at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-184

    Buy Our Book – When Kids Say They’re Trans: A Guide for Thoughtful Parents at https://whenkidssaytheyretrans.com/

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    For more information about Sasha’s & Stella’s parent coaching membership groups, visit:

    Sasha Ayad: https://sashaayad.com/parenting-coaching

    Stella O’Malley: http://www.stellaomalley.com/parent-coaching

    To learn more about our sponsors, visit:

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    This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe



    This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe
  • This is a free preview of a paid episode. To hear more, visit www.widerlenspod.com

    Exposing children to gender identity concepts at an early age can lead them to firmly latch onto these ideas, making it challenging to reconsider their beliefs, despite the broader context of the underlying causes of their distress. Gender identity often serves as a metaphor for broader developmental processes, such as individuation, which are typical in adolescence. However, the expansive and all-encompassing nature of gender identity frameworks can oversimplify and misrepresent a child's intricate emotions and experiences. Much like interpreting one's life through a horoscope, these broad frameworks can obscure the true nature of adolescent distress. This issue is compounded by the capture of legal, educational, and medical institutions, which can entrench ephemeral adolescent pain into irreversible bodily modifications.

    In this bonus episode for premium subscribers, Maia:

    -Highlights the potential difficulties children and adolescents face when grappling with natural gender nonconformity.

    -Critiques the process of informed consent for medical transitions as being particularly complex, involving the lack of emphasis on concerns about long-term health consequences and the potential for exacerbated psychological distress.

    -Reflects on her experience of war being an extreme stressor that profoundly impacted her perception of her own gender identity.

    -Offers insights from her analytical paper exploring the phenomenon of transgender identification among young people, comparing trends in the United States with those in Israel, highlighting the differences in how these trends manifest in secular versus religious environments.

    Watch our full length episode with Maia Poet: https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-183

    For instructions on setting up a private feed to listen to our premium content in your favorite podcast app, visit https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/how-to-listen-to-our-full-premium.

  • Another special mid-week episode release! Sasha will be back for our next episode, but don’t miss this deeply moving conversation between Stella and guest, Maia Poet, who shares her powerful story of self-discovery through the lenses of gender identity, conflict, and societal expectations. Maia recounts the emotional and psychological conflict she faced living as a trans man in a religious society, and how war—especially the harrowing events of October 7th—shifted her entire perspective on her body and identity.

    In this conversation, Maia opens up about the transformative power of community, particularly her encounters with detransitioners, and the critical role they played in her journey toward desistance. Maia also delves into the complex moral dilemmas of discussing gender identity with children, and how surviving war solidified her understanding of the strength and resilience of her natural female body.

    Listeners will gain unique insight into the profound complexities of gender nonconformity in a society that, under the false pretense of “authenticity,” is failing to accommodate such experiences. The lack of space for nonconformity is paving a destructive path towards body dysmorphia, crisis of self-identity, and harmful medical transition — a broken and twisted journey towards self-love and acceptance.

    For links and resources relevant to this episode, access the full show notes at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/episode-183

    Buy Our Book – When Kids Say They’re Trans: A Guide for Thoughtful Parents at https://whenkidssaytheyretrans.com/

    Join Our Listener Community to Access Exclusive Content at https://www.widerlenspod.com/

    Support the Show at https://www.widerlenspod.com/p/support-the-show

    Join the conversation on YouTube at www.youtube.com/@widerlenspod

    For more information about Sasha’s & Stella’s parent coaching membership groups, visit:

    Sasha Ayad: https://sashaayad.com/parenting-coaching

    Stella O’Malley: http://www.stellaomalley.com/parent-coaching

    To learn more about our sponsors, visit:

    Therapy First at https://www.therapyfirst.org/

    Genspect at https://genspect.org/

    This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe



    This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.widerlenspod.com/subscribe