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  • Q: I’m 34 and dating a 44-year-old man who rents out a room to a cutie 21-year-old for a very fair price and sometimes, he goes out with her and her friends and buys their drinks.

    I’m not sure how I feel about that. He believes it’s socially acceptable but I disagree and see it as predatory. But I also want to be understanding and I’m unsure if I’m being insecure and unreasonable about the situation.

    A: Join us to hear our response to our listener’s question!

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  • As a psychiatric nurse, David Wayne believed wholeheartedly in the veracity of medical research and the necessity of pharmaceutical interventions—until he saw how ineffective and at times, harmful, these “treatments” were.

    He began to question his profession—especially psychiatry’s pharmaceutical “solution” for every mental health concern.

    Then COVID descended, and because he chose not to inject an experimental substance into his body, he got fired from his hospital.

    To support others losing their jobs, he attended protests against the COVID shot mandates. He found himself alongside others who shared his values around health freedom. But, he was surprised to learn many of these dissidents were people of faith.

    He discovered they weren’t at all “anti science.” They just knew science must be questioned—always! And, science doesn’t belong solely to government officials or three letter agencies. Furthermore, these dissidents put their faith in God, as opposed to Fauci.

    As a psychiatric nurse, David had questioned the tenets of his profession. Now, he began to question his understanding of God and faith.

    COVID profoundly changed all of us in various ways. Four years into the COVID era, more and more psychologists and psychiatrists are questioning Pharma’s hold on our profession—not to mention its regulatory capture of governmental institutions such as the FDA and CDC.

    If you’re waking up to the Pharma cartel, this episode’s for you!

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    Akışı yenilemek için buraya tıklayın.

  • The election is upon us and the political divide—well, it’s probably better described as a chasm.

    So, we weren’t surprised to receive this question from a listener:

    “I’ve seen this rhetoric start to pop up on social media, leading into the election: ‘Don’t tell someone you love them, and then vote for someone who will hurt them.’

    How do we deal with this type of divisive statement?”

    Our listener also indicated she’s single and in her 40s. She’s an only child, so her friends are absolutely family to her.

    Yet, if she votes for a particular candidate, her friends believe she’s choosing to hurt them.

    I had a lot of thoughts about this. Like our listener, I have many friends who take issue with my choices around such issues. Most of these friends won’t talk to me about why I hold these values.

    Many people would recommend we steer clear of these topics. Then again, if we don’t talk about what matters most to us, how can we have deep, authentic relationships?

    Elliott and I share how we would respond to a friend who asked us, “How can you say you love me, yet you’re voting for someone who hurts me?”

    Elliott brings in the spiritual—“For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” (Ephesians 6:12)

    I postulate that the “powers that be” gin up “culture wars” to keep us attacking each other, rather than recognizing how the ruling class//oligarchs continue to oppress us.

    If you’re struggling to navigate political divisiveness this election season, please join us!

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  • Elliott didn’t know about this—I’m way more into current events than he is—so I decided to inform him during our episode. I wanted him to share his thoughts as a therapist, husband, father, and perhaps most importantly, as a pastor.

    Abortion is a heavy, sensitive, and painful, subject—at least, it used to be. Clinton claimed it should be, “Safe, legal, and rare.”

    Now women are encouraged to, “Shout Your Abortion!”

    What’s going on?

    I share some theories as to how we’ve arrived at this place—views around Second and Third Wave Feminism and how women have fought for a sexual revolution that fails to serve us, but works for men just fine.

    We integrate our question, “What is a Man?” throughout the conversation. Elliott asserts that men may have failed women which also relates to the current landscape of women displaying their fielty to a political party by killing their unborn children.

    Join us for another Love & Life Current Events episode and hear Elliott’s og story of getting kicked out of Social Studies during an 8th grade current events unit! 😉

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    Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson

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    Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

    Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

  • Today Pastor Elliott and Producer Tim continue our series on "What is a Man?"

    In his work as a counselor and pastor Elliott has developed a thesis for what he believes makes up the theology of a man based on the book of Genesis.

    Specifically Elliott dives into the following topics:

    Accountability Responsibility Sacrifice Interdependence And how men facility all of these topics into their lives personally, relationally, and ultimately into their communities at large.

    We hope this episode will provide insights into your personal relationships and lead you to a life of thriving in your mind, body, and spirit!

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    Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson

    Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

    Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

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  • As you’ve likely heard, last week Olympic boxer Imane Khelif beat Angela Carini in a bout that lasted only 46 seconds.

    Carini said of Khelif’s punch to her nose, “I’ve never been hit so hard in my life.”

    Controversy ensued because just last year, Khelif had been disqualified from competing in the World Boxing Championships in the women’s category because of testosterone levels that were higher than permissible.

    In prior Love & Life episodes, we’ve addressed the touchy subject of men competing against women. We interviewed Paula Scanlan (former UPenn swimmer) in episode 303, author Kara Dansky (The Abolition of Sex: How the “Transgender” Agenda Harms Women and Girls) in episode 245, and radical feminist Isabella Malbin in episode 193.

    With the current controversy still brewing, Elliott and I wanted to share our thoughts. We speak to realities of developmental psychology and biology, along with a Biblical vantage point.

    We tackle two questions many people currently struggle to answer or would prefer to avoid, “What is a man?” and “What is a woman?”

    Elliott and I start with basic biology—if you have XX, chromosomes you are female. If you have XY chromosomes, you are male.

    That being said, in some very rare cases of genetic anomalies, determining a person’s sex can be more complicated. Intersexed individuals (or, what is now known as DSD—Disorders of Sex Development) make up 0.018% (Sax, 2022).

    We strive to approach this topic from a place of love. As a husband, father, and big brother, Elliott wants to protect girls and women. As a former female athlete, aunt, and stepmother, I want to protect women’s sports and the future of womanhood itself.

    Join us for a conversation we need to have, yet many avoid.

    Sax L. How common is intersex? a response to Anne Fausto-Sterling. J Sex Res. 2002 Aug;39(3):174-8. doi: 10.1080/00224490209552139. PMID: 12476264.

    Fun fact! The author of the article above appeared on Love & Life in episodes 33 and 34!

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    Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

  • Our world feels increasingly chaotic and morally inverted. And for those who remain skeptical and endeavor to think critically and rationally, it’s extremely overwhelming.

    As you know from episode 294 “COVID Trauma: How to Move Through Post COVID Stress Disorder,” Elliott and I have lost trust in many, if not most, of the institutions we once thought were at least somewhat honorable.

    Who can we trust? What’s going on behind the scenes? Who’s actually in charge and why are they so determined to strip us of our rights?

    I frequently listen to Dr. Joseph Mercola’s podcast and when I heard his interview with Dr. Leland Stillman, I immediately bought Dr. Stillman’s book, Dying to be Free: How America's Ruling Class Is Killing and Bankrupting Americans, and What to Do About It.

    I devoured the book in a few days. It covers an enormous amount of ground and provides answers to questions like the ones I posed above.

    If you’re not familiar with Dr. Leland Stillman and his work, I’m thrilled to introduce you to him in today’s episode.

    Our father told us to “Take Charge” in every aspect of our lives. If you want to know how to take charge in these oppressive times, this episode is for you!

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  • My father-in-law passed away a month ago. We knew his death was imminent, so we weren’t caught off guard, but I was definitely surprised by the depth of my grief. I’d only known Max for 14 years and because I was in my 40s when I joined the Abrell family, I hadn’t had the years of connection with him. Yet my grief was significant and multifaceted.

    My mom, Elliott, and our brother, Warren, attended the funeral. At the end of the service, Dan opened up the floor for anyone who might want to say something to honor Max. I tried to get my courage up but I was afraid I’d cry too hard and make everyone feel uncomfortable.

    I left the service full of regret for not having shared how much Max meant to me, and how blessed I felt to have been his daughter-in-law. Even though I didn’t have the chance to know Max longer, I nevertheless feel his influence every day in my marriage. He raised the love of my life and for that, I’m so incredibly grateful.

    I wish I’d shared these thoughts with those who attended the funeral.

    At the meal after the service, Elliott told me how learning more about Max stirred within him ideas about what it means to be a man of honor, integrity, and character. Since he works with young men and teaches them at Judson University, he sees how much GenZers could learn from the men of Max’s generation!

    To make up for my lack of courage at the funeral, we decided to kick off our new series, “What is a Man?” with a tribute to one of the best there’s ever been—Max L. Abrell.

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  • As psychotherapists, Elliott and I obviously view love and life through a psychological lens. We take a holistic approach to love and life—underscoring the interaction of our mind, body, and spirit. Elliott takes this approach in his role as a pastor, too. He reads the Bible and interprets scripture through this lens. God designed psychology—meaning, how God created human thinking and behaving.

    Which is why I love Elliott’s recent sermon and why we wanted to share it with you. Elliott describes 3 simple, Biblically based steps we can take to level up your mindset—or as the Bible puts it, “renew your mind.”

    I claim they’re simple steps, but I don’t mean to suggest they’re easy. That being said, since God created us and therefore knows best how our minds work, it makes perfect sense to look to His word in our efforts to renew our minds or, as we say on Love & Life, “take charge of your thoughts to take charge of your life!”

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    Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

    Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

  • Please enjoy this conversation Dr. Karin had on the Single and Not Settling podcast!

    A note from Vanessa of Single and Not Settling:

    "This is absolutely a dream come true. I was so nervous throughout this interview as I could have pinched myself, achieving this goal of mine. You see in 2020 after I was ghosted and the world shut down, I found a podcast by Dr Karin. Her advice on dating and relationships gave me hope, taught me so much of what I know today but also helped me dive deeper into why I was choosing the wrong men, it all began to make sense!! On this platform I created, I saw it as an opportunity to personally thank Dr Karin for having such an impact on my life, where I am today and where I continue to grow.

    Dr Karin is such a genuine person, so kind and has the best sense of humour!

    I am so proud of myself and proud of this episode.

    I hope you gain value from Dr Karin as much as I have throughout the years."

    In this exciting episode of "Single and NOT Settling," Vanessa Maree sits down with Dr. Karin Anderson Abrell, a psychologist, author, and captivating speaker.

    Dr. Karin opens up about her own experience as a "runaway bride" and so much more! Tune in to discover:

    The struggle of walking away from a relationship that seems "good enough."

    Dealing with the guilt that follows once you've left that relationship behind, and how Dr. Karin finally let go of that guilt.

    Insights into ghosting and navigating the world of dating apps.

    The importance of understanding your values and finding someone who shares those same values.

    High-status dating: What it entails and the impact when women take the lead in dating.

    Exploring Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and how it can transform negative thoughts into positive outlooks, especially on your dating journey.

    Don't miss out on this empowering conversation packed with valuable insights for your dating journey!

    Dr Karin's Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

    I'd love to connect with you on Instagram! Head over to

    ⁠⁠⁠@vanessamaree_wingwoman

    ________________________________________________

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  • Recently, I read an article in Time Magazine titled, “America Has Reached Peak Therapy. Why Is Our Mental Health Getting Worse?”

    Obviously, the content was quite sobering. How is it that mental health awareness is up, stigma is down—and yet, we’re more depressed and anxious than ever!?!

    I knew I wanted to discuss the article with Elliott and share it with the Love & Life community.

    Specifically, we unpack:

    The unintended consequences of a culture of “Mental Health Awareness.” How health insurance impacts the practice of psychotherapy—and even our understanding of emotional distress in general. How changes in counselors’ training programs affect not only the therapist/client relationship, but also the psychological community as a whole.

    Oh, and let’s not forget Pharma. The realities we highlight throughout the episode wouldn’t be occurring without a healthy dose—pun intended—of Big Pharma influence.

    Join us as we break down the current landscape while also providing hope for a more holistic, empowered approach to emotional wellbeing!

    Article: https://time.com/6308096/therapy-mental-health-worse-us/

    Simon Says by Elliott Anderson: https://www.amazon.com/Simon-Says-Principles-Perspectives-Anderson/dp/0915725207/ref=sr_1_1?crid=21PGSPXG7KW7C&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.Kqa9NtnahBSuA6fJUyPREA.6ErqUgC2UO2Knyzxu7gH7227M7SxOuadKhb9ZenpX6w&dib_tag=se&keywords=simon+says+elliott+anderson&qid=1717619097&sprefix=simon+says+elliott+anderson%2Caps%2C135&sr=8-1

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    Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson

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    Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

    Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

  • No surprise, Elliott and I had plenty to say on this topic so we broke up the debate into two parts.

    In part 1 (ep. 304), Elliott and I tackled 3 questions:

    Are younger couples more at risk of codependency because they marry before their identities are sufficiently formed? Do older couples struggle to adjust to the division of labor and day to day norms because they’re “stuck in their ways?” What about extended family relationships? Are these easier to develop if we marry younger?

    In today’s episode we continue the debate by considering 3 more questions:

    Do couples who marry when they’re older struggle more with trust and expectations because they’ve often been hurt many times before? Do they bring more “baggage” to the relationship? What about the biological clock? When a husband or wife pivots dramatically regarding career, passions, or goals, is this adjustment easier for younger couples? Or, might older couples take this transition in stride?

    Join us for part 2 of our “debate” about when it’s best to marry!

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    Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson

    Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

    Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

    Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

  • Recently Dr. Karin appeared on the Odyssey Resilience podcast to discuss dating and anxiety!

    From Odyssey Resilience:

    “Dr. Karin Anderson Abrell is a psychologist, author, podcast host, and musician. Her book, Single is the New Black: Don't Wear White 'Til It's Right is a word of empowerment to singles—encouraging them to stay strong amidst “single shaming,” live life on their own terms, and never ever settle for anything less than an extraordinary relationship. A former professor, Dr. Karin now hosts Love & Life—a podcast providing informative discussions grounded in an holistic understanding of psychology to help us thrive in all realms of love and life. She can be found on Instagram @dr.karin and X @DrKarinAnderson and on her website, www.loveandlifemedia.com.”

    Learn more about Odyssey Resilience here: https://www.odysseyresilience.org/

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    The Wellness Company

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    Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!

    Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson

    Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

    Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

    Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

  • Elliott and I have been meaning to debate this question for a while now—so here it is!

    Elliott married at the tender age of 22 and, as for me, I was 42 before Dan and I tied the knot.

    We both have strong, loving marriages. We’re both incredibly happy. But, we took very different paths.

    Over the years, we’ve had fun taking sides—with Elliott proclaiming the benefits of marrying young and me asserting it’s better to wait.

    But, what does research say? And, which couples end up in Elliott’s office due to crises? Those who married younger or older?

    Join us for part 1 of our “debate” about when it’s best to marry.

    Spoiler alert: Elliott actually concedes a point to me—this rarely ever happens in any disputes we have! But, I’m guessing I’ll be conceding a few points to him in part 2. :-)

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  • Imagine this: you’ve worked your whole life to swim at the collegiate level. You make the team at an Ivy League school. All those sacrifices paid off—you’re competing at the elite level!


    And then, before your sophomore year, a guy joins the team. His name is Will, but he now goes by Lia because during his junior year, he decided he was a woman and started hormone therapy.


    You don’t think it’s right that a 6’1” man will take the place of a female teammate–a girl who’s worked as hard as you did to earn her spot on the roster. Furthermore, you’re uncomfortable with a man changing in the women’s locker room.


    You mention this and you’re told, “You should get some psychological support.”
    None of this makes sense. None of it is fair. But, if you discuss it—even with your teammates—you’re called “transphobic.”


    You stop talking about it because no one’s listening. You finish your senior year and then head to New York for your first job.


    But, you’re still mad about it. You know men competing against women is wrong. You realized it’s bigger than the injustice you endured—women’s sports are at risk of extinction.


    You break your silence and join The Independent Women’s Forum—an organization devoted to protecting women’s rights in the midst of a culture that permits men to invade female spaces.


    This is exactly what happened to Paula Scanlan.
     

    She shares her story today on Love & Life.


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    Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

  • In the midst of newlywed bliss, we often overlook the importance of presenting ourselves to our families and friends as a united front.

    That is, until our in-laws begin to meddle and make inappropriate demands . . .

    Of course, we remain respectful of our parents and in-laws. Of course, we want to avail ourselves of their wisdom and guidance.

    But, a young couple (or not-so-young couple) must demonstrate to their families (and to themselves) that their primary allegiance is to each other–NOT to their families of origin.

    It’s a complex, difficult process which involves grieving the loss of former alliances. For example, a father and daughter may have always had a special bond–which is wonderful–but now, the daughter’s primary connection needs to be with her husband.

    Learn how to grieve these losses while simultaneously establishing healthy, appropriate boundaries with our families of origin.

    Elliott and I discuss all this and more in today’s episode!

    Sponsor: The Wellness Company

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    Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson

    Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

    Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

    Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

  • You have questions. We’ve got answers!

    As part of our series on Elliott’s premarital counseling curriculum, we shared 2 episodes about how to cultivate true sexual intimacy and fulfillment.

    We received some feedback from listeners whose sex lives are extremely difficult. They don’t intend to leave their marriages for various reasons–there are children involved, or they love each other deeply despite the physical disconnectedness, or they don’t believe sexual incompatibility warrants divorce–but obviously, they’re very unhappy with the status quo.

    Specifically, listeners asked us:

    1. What if my spouse is emotionally abusive? I’m not going to leave because we have children and I don’t want to disrupt their home. But, it’s brutal having sex with someone who’s cruel, demeaning, and volatile. Any thoughts?

    2. Our sex life isn’t going well, but my spouse refuses to go to counseling. How can I make things better?

    3. feel like our sexual relationship is one sided in that my husband always gets his needs met, but mine rarely are. How can I address this without feeling like I'm begging?

    Join us to hear Elliott’s advice for these difficult issues around sex, emotional abuse, and incompatibility.

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    Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

    Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

  • A 2016 Pew Research Poll found that just 44% of respondents consider shared religious beliefs to be key to a successful marriage.

    Therefore, 66% of us aren’t too worried about aligning spiritually with our partner.

    But, is it wise to minimize this?

    Actually, according to multiple studies, couples who pray together DO stay together. In fact, marital satisfaction is highly correlated with religious affiliation and committed practice.

    Join us for our responses to this data—and other research findings which highlights the importance of aligning spiritually with your partner.

    Citations:

    Effects of Religious Practice on Marriage

    What Couples May Not Realize About Relgion and Marriage

    Sponsor: The Wellness Company

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    Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson

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    Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

    Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

  • Dave Wayne had found his passion and purpose in life. As a psychiatric nurse, he’d gained the respect of both his peers and superiors–so much so, that he won a prestigious award at his hospital!.

    Not long after receiving this accolade, Dave was fired.

    Why? He declined to take an injection of an experimental product.

    But as so often happens in life, our darkest moments propel us in a new direction–one that’s more aligned with our values and better suited to who we’re meant to become!. And, in Dave’s case, his skepticism around Big Pharma had already made him realize a profession grounded in pharmaceutical interventions wouldn’t be a fit for him long term.

    Dave now serves as a holistic health coach. He emphasizes the importance of nutrition, lifestyle, and mindset on our emotional well-being as he helps clients “describe” from medications.

    Join us to learn how you can thrive free of Pharma!

    Sponsor: The Wellness Company

    Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠

    Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!

    David Wayne

    Website: https://www.describe.health

    Instagram: @david.wayne.rn

    Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson

    Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

    Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

    Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

    Citations:

    Undisclosed financial conflicts of interest in DSM-5-TR: cross sectional analysis, BMJ 2024; 384 doi: https://doi.org/10.1136/bmj-2023-076902 (Published 10 January 2024)

    https://www.bmj.com/content/384/bmj-2023-076902/rapid-responses

  • We started an occasional series a while ago called, “Empowered Evolving” in part, because I saw so much shifting all around us. Beliefs that had once been considered integral to folks with certain philosophical ideology, now seem to be embraced by those on the opposite side of things.

    Furthermore, over the last several years, we’ve witnessed the abolition of core American rights I thought we all valued.

    Very strange times, indeed.

    I called the series, “Empowered Evolving” as a way to remind myself—and anyone else who might have been feeling unsettled, as I’ve felt over the last several years—that evolving IS empowered.

    We used to encourage people to question authority and do our own research and think for ourselves and ask for second, third, and fourth opinions. We warned each other to resist tribalism and group-think.

    Americans were pioneers, independent minded. We read Thorough’s Civil Disobedience in high school and lived by Shakespeare’s “To thine own self be true”

    Naturally, when you live out such principles, you often evolve.

    Evolving can feel lonely. You may lose friends, your community, even your identity.

    This all happened to today’s guest, former psychiatric nurse turned holistic health coach, Dave Wayne.

    Sponsor: The Wellness Company

    Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠

    Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!

    David Wayne

    Website: https://www.describe.health

    Instagram: @david.wayne.rn

    Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson

    Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

    Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

    Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson