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As we age, most of us retain certain personality traits but often change our perspective on issues as they are informed by life experience. What we want out of our lives, our value systems and our views of others can change --sometimes dramatically-- as we enter different stages of life. In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about their own experiences and the ways in which attitudes and values are affected by our social ecosystem. For a full transcript, click here: LL55-How has your perspective changed with age?pdf
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Let's face it, relationships can be hard to sustain. They require constant attention and it can feel like work, not fun. In the midst of those challenges one or both partners can be tempted to stray--looking for a more nurturing, happier, or simply less stressful alternative. In some cases this leads to cheating, or a breakup, but it doesn't have to. In this episode, Alvean and Doug discuss this subject frankly and with practical advice how to handle the possibility of a 3rd party in your relationship before it leads to disunion or infidelity. For a full transcript, click here:LL54-You, Me and .........
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Chances are you've heard someone ask this question or maybe you have asked it yourself. For some, dating, much less finding the one is a frustrating and ultimately defeating experience leading to a sense of hopelessness. There are many reasons we don't connect. In this episode Alvean and Doug talk about the ways in which we can get in our own way by setting unrealistic expectations, looking in the wrong places, or failing to invest sufficient effort in learning about a potential mate. For a full transcript, click here: LL52-Are there any good men or women out there?
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No one ever wants to think about it and no matter how gently and thoughtfully it is done, it is almost always very hurtful. In this episode, Alvean and Doug take up the issue with some helpful thoughts on how best to handle a breakup whether you are initiating or the recipient. They offer some suggestions on how to help avoid anger and recrimination and equally important, how to help one's soon to be ex to maintain their dignity and emotional health in the face of a painful experience. For a full transcript, click here: LL51-Breaking Up
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For most couples the arrival of their first child is both a blessing and long dreamed of moment. But it can also be challenging for both parents. Demands on time and patience, fears about preparedness, added financial burdens, and potential disagreements about parenting are just a few of the bumps in the road new parents can encounter. In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about the practical and emotional challenges and offer some thoughts on how to navigate baby's arrival. For a full transcript, click here: LL50-And Baby Makes Three
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Satisfying relationships can be challenged by many external factors, not least among these family and friends who feel it is appropriate to weigh in on a couple's privacy and insert themselves into the mix--often to the detriment of the relationship. We call these circumstances toxic --as they can poison an otherwise positive relationship or inflate minor differences to the point they become destructive. In this episode Alvean and Doug talk about how to identify toxic behavior and what to do when faced with prospective influencers--however well intentioned that might lead to a break up, or divorce. For more and a full transcript, click here: LL49 -Toxic Families
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Some may see them as May December romances, others find significant age differences in relationships a bit cringy. But the real question is does age truly matter? In this episode Alvean and Doug take on this sometime thorny subject with their usual fresh insights and real world examples. For a full transcript click here: LL48-Does Age Matter?
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Friends and family can be part of a wonderful network of love and support, but there is one thing couples should never do, and that is to involve eaither into their lives as armchair therapists or relationship counselors. Despite what they may say or do, family and friends have conscious and unconscious biases, they are untrained and almost always will make matters worse rather than better. To find out why, listen to Alvean and Doug discuss the merits. For a full transcript, click here: LL-46 Friends and Family as Counselors
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Love can be conditional or unconditional we are told and of the two most people yearn for unconditional love. But is that ever truly the case? Can we ever be loved just the way we are or are we destined to find that our significant other wants to change us--just a little bit? In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about how couples support each other or fail to meet each other's needs through their interactions. For a full transcript, click here: LL45-I love you Just the Way You Are
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At some point in life most of us ask ourselves the existential question, why are we here--what is our purpose in life? In this episode, Alvean and Doug talking about the journey --how individuals alone and together can begin to explore answers to that question. Often it can lead to a deepning commitment to one another and to a richer and more fulfilling life. For a complete transcript, click here: LL44-Finding Purpose
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Tyhe first blush of a new relationship can be hot and heavy, full of chemistry and passion. But as time goes by and things fall into a routine couples might find themselves asking, "is that all there is?' In this episode, Alvean and Doug discuss how to handle a perceived change in the emotional climate and restore the balance that brought a couple together in the first place. For a full transcript of the episode, click here: LL43-Is That All There Is?
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When troubles arise in a relationship it can sometimes result in the triggering of a fight or flight response. In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about those responses and how to avoid them. For a full transcript, click here: LL42-Fight or Flight
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Those words in the wedding vows about remaining together and supporting one another in sickness and in health are put to the test when serious health issues arise. How couples handle these crises says a great deal about their bonds and their ability to weather the difficult storms that may arise in any relationship and at any time. In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk from personal experience about those tests and how it affected them as well as others. For a full transcript of the episode, click here:LL41-In Sickness & in Health
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Do couples grow towards each other as they grow older or further apart? Alvean and Doug discuss the ways aging can affect relationships for better or for worse and how successful couples keep the spark alive. For a full transcript of this episode, click here: LL40-Growing Older
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What happens when that first rush of love goes away--or diminishes in intensity. Is Love over--di you make a mistake or is this just a pause in a life filled with love? In this episode Alvean talk frankly about how love ebbs and flows and how we are the agents of that tide. For a full transcript click here: LL39-After the Love
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It can be crippling to face the news these days--but in the midst of the negativity and strife there are ways to create an oasis of calm and serenity. In this episode, Alvean and Doug discuss techniques for transforming your immediate world into a more forgiving and supportive environmwnt. For a full transcript, click here: LL38-Staying Positive in a Negative World
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Too often couples can struggle with control issues or resort to manipulation to get their way. Both are destructive, eroding the trust and affections of both partners. Instead try persuasion. In this episode, Doug & Alvean talk about the art of persuading and techniques for entering into an empathetic understanding of your partner's aims and desires. For a full transcript, click here: LL37-The Art of Persuasion
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Learning to listen to one another--not just hear but trul listen with your entire attention is a recipe for an enduring relationship. In this episode, Alvean and Doug talk about how we can learn to improve our listening and our talking skills so that we communicate what we want and need effectively to our partner. For a full transcript, click here:LL36-Listening-Tune in or Tune out
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And baby--child or pet, makes three--so the song goes. And it can be a blessed event when two become three, but it isn't always a smooth road. In this episode Alvean and Doug talk about how couples can navigate the changes they will face when introducing another being into their midst--a demanding, loving, and fragile being that can alter their dynamics. For a full transcript, click here: LL35-When Kids or Pets are in the way
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Is it true that couples who have a strong and common spiritual life have strong and durable relationships? How does faith bind us and how do we navigate the tenet's of our faith in a complex world? Find Answers to these and many other questions in this episode of Love Life. For a complete transcript, click here: LL34-Couples That Pray Together
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