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  • Are you anxious and afraid? Do you feel ill-equipped to protect your children when they go out into the world? In today’s episode, Kelly is offering three areas to focus on, especially when tragedies occur. As always, she is full of practical suggestions as well as spiritual insights into the way we can choose to show up, no matter what life throws at us.

    “We know there is a God, we know He loves us. We know we can trust him… Ground your kids in that.” - Kelly Shoup

    First, Kelly addresses how to maintain your calm, and offers multiple concrete ways to deal with the bodily experience of anxiety. As faith-based people, we are well-equipped to handle crises; we don’t need to respond in a frenzy, like the rest of society. She also encourages parents to speak to their children about tragic events in a calm, neutral way. Secondly, Kelly talks about controlling what you can, and letting go of what you can’t. She encourages parents to be discerning about the narrative entering their homes, and touches on God’s perspective in the midst of evil events. She suggests that living in fear is not really living at all, and encourages parents to practice fully entrusting their children to God’s care. She even has a playful way of teaching children to put on the full armor of God every day before leaving the house. Finally, Kelly is encouraging connection. She explains that when you connect with your children, you can also correct, direct, and influence them. As your children watch their friends’ parents collapse into fear-based decisions, they will look at you to see how you are showing up. Imagine being a parent so fully immersed in God’s love that you can respond with calm, control, and connection towards your family. In this way, you can fully model what it looks like to live a life of trust, grounded in Scripture and truth.

    Kelly Links

    Website

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    Youtube

    Free Consult Call

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    Monthly Membership

    One-on-One Coaching

  • In this episode, Kelly explores the age-old adage, "Ignorance is bliss," questioning its relevance in parenting. Drawing from her experience as a mother of three teenagers Kelly highlights both the positive and negative connotations of ignorance. She acknowledges that some forms of ignorance, particularly in situations beyond one's control, may lead to a blissful state as unnecessary worry is avoided.

    However, Kelly strongly argues against embracing ignorance in parenting, especially when it comes to understanding and addressing children's behaviors and issues. She contends that remaining ignorant can perpetuate parental misery and lead to more significant challenges down the road. Kelly emphasizes the importance of recognizing and addressing potential issues early on, offering support to parents in navigating the complexities of raising children.

    Central to Kelly's approach is her expertise in understanding the sensory system, a key element in human development often overlooked by parents, teachers, and even professionals. She explains that knowledge about the sensory system is crucial for recognizing and addressing behaviors caused by sensory overload. Kelly asserts that connecting with children on a sensory level is fundamental to effective parenting, encouraging parents to understand their child's unique sensory sensitivities.

    Towards the end of the episode, Kelly introduces her monthly membership program, providing a safe space for parents to access valuable information, participate in group coaching calls, and receive guidance tailored to their specific situations. She emphasizes the importance of taking small steps and understanding the sensory system as a powerful tool for improving parent-child relationships and creating a more blissful family life.

    Links

    Website

    Instagram

    Free Consult Call

    Monthly Membership

    One-on-One Coaching

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  • In this episode Kelly offers valuable insights and strategies for navigating the challenges of summer parenting. In this discussion, she addresses the commonly dreaded "summer scaries," a phenomenon many mothers experience when contemplating the upcoming months with their kids. Kelly challenges the perception that summer is a source of anxiety, emphasizing the potential for improved health, family well-being, and stronger connections when approached with the right mindset and skill set. Kelly emphasizes two important points to help navigate the “summer scaries”. One, is inviting God’s grace into the situations you are facing and two, maintain good connections with your children.

    As a parenting coach, Kelly underscores the importance of connecting with children rather than controlling them, advocating for a relational approach that fosters trust and cooperation. She shares her passion for working with children aged three to eight, emphasizing the significance of building a strong foundation during these formative years. Kelly's unique approach involves integrating God and His grace into parenting, highlighting the role of faith in fostering a more harmonious family life.

    Throughout the discussion, Kelly addresses various topics that commonly cause stress for parents during the summer, such as guilt, overwhelm, and the pressure to plan activities for kids. She provides practical advice on handling challenges like boredom, body image issues, play dates, camps, substance abuse concerns, and maintaining academic engagement. Kelly emphasizes the need for flexibility and encourages parents to create an environment that allows for both structure and freedom.

    Kelly reassures them that they don't have to face these challenges alone. She invites them to seek the help they need to ensure a successful, enjoyable, and stress-free summer for both parents and children. Kelly's approach is grounded in the belief that embracing the trials of parenting is an invitation to grow towards holiness and heaven, and she is dedicated to helping parents navigate this journey with confidence and trust in their abilities.

    Links

    Website

    Instagram

    Free Consult Call

    Monthly Membership

    One-on-One Coaching

  • In this episode, Kelly addresses the issue of overwhelm experienced by women, particularly mothers. She emphasizes that she has been assisting numerous overwhelmed moms who feel burdened by various responsibilities and anxieties. She acknowledges the challenges faced by overachiever parents and aims to guide them towards a better approach to parenting.

    Kelly's discussion covers several key points. Firstly, she delves into the body-based reasons why women, particularly mothers, tend to experience overwhelm more frequently. She links this phenomenon to hormonal differences, particularly estrogen, and explores the brain's distinct networks and modes of thinking that contribute to overwhelm.

    Kelly addresses the prevalent issue of moms comparing themselves negatively with other seemingly perfect parents on social media. She highlights the importance of understanding one's unique parenting challenges and viewing these as opportunities for growth, change, and connection with God. She stresses that discomfort and challenges are part of the parenting journey, designed to aid personal development and closeness to God.

    The episode also explores the scientific aspect of overwhelm, discussing the brain's neural networks, hormonal influence, and gender differences. Kelly highlights that women's brains naturally tend toward diffuse awareness, which can contribute to overwhelm. She explains that while men and women both experience stress, their responses and brain mechanisms differ.

    Kelly's advice for combating overwhelm revolves around four strategies. Firstly, she advocates seeking grace and divine assistance to handle the challenges of parenting. Secondly, she emphasizes cultivating self-awareness, understanding one's tendencies, and making conscious choices to avoid overcommitting. Thirdly, she encourages establishing checks and balances by involving others, such as spouses, friends, or even children, to keep one accountable and prevent taking on too much.

    Lastly, Kelly promotes the use of body-based techniques to manage overwhelm. Breathing exercises, physical movements, and reflex techniques are highlighted as powerful tools that can be easily incorporated into daily routines. By implementing these strategies, parents can effectively address overwhelm, avoid burnout, and create a more balanced and peaceful parenting experience.

    Links

    Website

    Instagram

    Free Consult Call

    Monthly Membership

    One-on-One Coaching

  • In this episode, Kelly delves into the impact of labeling children as "sporty" or “not sporty” and advocates for a more open view of sports. Challenging the belief that athleticism solely depends on physical attributes, Kelly underscores the significance of varied perspectives. She encourages parents to nurture their children's overall well-being, recognizing their unique qualities as chosen by God, while guiding them towards a personalized path of sportiness.

    Kelly sheds light on the need for parents to release their expectations when it comes to their children's sports activities. Emphasizing that children have distinct preferences and opinions, often differing from their parents, Kelly urges parents to support these individual choices. The episode also underscores the role of modeling sports activity and athleticism for children, regardless of time constraints or personal doubts, fostering a healthier mindset towards physical activity.

    Kelly highlights the need for parents to demonstrate the significance of being fit by dedicating even a few minutes a day to physical activity. The episode also discusses the "try-on" phase, where children explore various sports and activities to find their resonance. Kelly emphasizes the need to create a supportive environment for "watcher" children who need to see first and gradually encourage their participation. Ultimately, the message is clear: parents should pay attention to their children's unique preferences, nurturing a wholesome approach to sports and physical activities.

    Links

    Website

    Instagram

    Free Consult Call

    Monthly Membership

    One-on-One Coaching

  • In this episode, Kelly discusses the common experiences of moms having meltdowns. She emphasizes that moms, like anyone else, can experience moments of overwhelm and frustration. The meltdowns she refers to are moments that occur when the pressure of parenting, combined with various stressors, can lead to emotional releases. It is important to remember that we walk closely with God and invite God’s grace into these moments when they occur.

    Kelly highlights several triggers for these meltdowns, ranging from dealing with changes and transitions in routines to the physical toll of not taking care of one's body. She emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and understanding these triggers in order to manage them effectively. Kelly also underscores the significance of recognizing that moms are human too and are allowed to experience emotions, even in front of their children.

    Furthermore, Kelly discusses the impact of major life events, such as milestone celebrations or dangerous situations, which can exacerbate the likelihood of meltdowns. She suggests that having a plan for self-regulation during these moments can be crucial for moms to maintain composure.

    Kelly also delves into the concept of "multi-layer meltdowns," where the accumulation of stressors throughout the day can lead to a delayed emotional release, often occurring when a mom is alone or in the car. She highlights the importance of using these instances to model healthy emotional management for children.

    Finally, Kelly addresses the significance of combatting isolation and loneliness among moms. She stresses the need for a supportive community of other women, who can provide understanding, connection, and emotional relief. By sharing personal experiences and seeking help from others, moms can navigate their meltdowns with greater self-awareness and a sense of camaraderie.

    Links

    Website

    Instagram

    Free Consult Call

    Monthly Membership

    One-on-One Coaching

  • Feeling like you are a mom who is always messing up? Kelly understands and takes the opportunity in this episode to go over some of the top mistakes that mothers endure. From leaving God out of the parenting relationship, to the unknown expectations for your spouse, Kelly will bring all these into the discussion.

    “All moms make mistakes, and we all usually make the same mistakes.” - Kelly Shoup

    In today’s episode, Kelly is talking about the top mistakes that almost every mom makes. But she isn’t telling us how to fix them today: We’re simply slowing down and creating an awareness around these incredibly common and definitely fixable parenting blunders. So give yourself grace, Mama. Even Kelly has struggled with these!

    Five of the most common parenting mistakes:

    We leave God out of our parenting

    We think our mindset alone can fix everything

    We have unrealistic expectations around the time it will take to change a habit/routine

    We have unknown expectations for our husbands

    We are not using the complete toolbox that God has given us

    Aside from these five mistakes, Kelly also explains why you are more easily triggered by your kids, and why it’s good to model healthy apologies for your children. If you’d like more help from Kelly, check out the links below!

    Kelly Links

    Website

    Instagram

    Youtube

    Free Consult Call

    Sensory Profile Quiz

    Monthly Membership

    One-on-One Coaching

  • In this episode Kelly pauses from the normal topics of preschool aged children and moves ahead in the timeline to college aged kids. Kelly helps parents understand how to best maintain a healthy relationship with these older children that now have independence, critical thinking and are the stages of choosing their own life.

    “We don't actually want to undo all that independence and critical thinking and authenticity… we work so hard to get them to that stage.” - Kelly Shoup

    Oh, boy: College. Parents spend years working to raise their child to be independent adults… and then it happens. College freshmen can be particularly attached to their new-found freedom, and today Kelly is helping you handle those moments when the newest adult in your family starts trying to make his independence known over that first Christmas break.

    First, Kelly is reassuring you - the level of independence that your freshman is exhibiting is exactly right for his age and stage of life. He’s been living outside of the home for about four months, he’s been doing it well, and he’s trying to maintain his autonomy. Kelly has a few tips for dealing with this unique time in your child’s life:

    Release some control. He’s very protective of his new-found independence this year, and he will defend it.

    Congratulate him! He’s been adulting on his own, and he deserves to be recognized for his efforts and successes.

    Try this question: “How can I love you better?”

    Be willing to compromise on your expectations.

    He might not give you all the info you want - that’s okay.

    Offer support - he’s an adult, but he may still need your help.

    Incorporate these tips into this first break with your adult child, and you’ll be laying the groundwork for a fruitful relationship with him for the rest of his adult life.

    Kelly Links

    Website

    Instagram

    Youtube

    Free Consult Call

    Sensory Profile Quiz

    Monthly Membership

    One-on-One Coaching

  • Play is important for kids and for parents. Kelly takes this episode to open up the world of play and the role that is plays in the parent-child relationship. She gives practical tips on how to make play better and explain the importance of playing with our children.

    “I want your kids to authentically have you play again. No agenda: just to learn and connect with them. This is how your kids trust you.” - Kelly Shoup

    Have you tried to play with your kids, and failed miserably? In this episode, Kelly is addressing some of the challenges with play, and why parents tend to feel out of their depth when they begin to engage their children this way. And she’s starting with a very comforting point: you’re not bad at playing. You just haven’t had time to hone the skill. As we became adults, our time to play became shorter, and we got less practice. Relearning how to play may take some time, but trust Kelly - the discomfort is worth the result.

    Today, she is offering three tools to help make play easier for parents. First, she’s encouraging moms to shift out of their mindsets and into their hearts. Secondly, think fun: don’t say “time to play!” in the same tone as you say, “pick up your dirty clothes!” And finally: fail forward. It’s okay for all of this to feel uncomfortable and vulnerable. As a little bonus, Kelly is also offering suggestions for group play that both kids and adults will love. You don’t want to miss these gems!

    A few housekeeping rules:

    Don’t play a game just to teach them a skill, or manipulate them into doing chores under the guise of play: playtime needs to be pure recreation and trust-building connection.

    Be fully present: put down your phone, and turn off the TV.

    Admit to your kids when you don’t know how to play the game - they’ll love showing you, and you’ll be modeling humility for them.

    Kids do the same thing over and over because they’re either learning something new or they’re comforted by familiarity. Let them do it.

    Be sincere and specific in your compliments - it will build their self-confidence at home, and they will take that into the world.

    Kelly Links

    Website

    Instagram

    Youtube

    Free Consult Call

    Sensory Profile Quiz

    Monthly Membership

    One-on-One Coaching

  • Does play sound like a waste of time? Does it sound like work? Do you even know how to play? In today’s episode, Kelly is talking all about play - not only its role in your child’s life, but also the role it has in your own life as an adult, and even what God Himself has to say about play. Today, Kelly is sharing three ways for parents to reconsider play during this holiday season.

    “You’re the magic. You’re the secret sauce in that play that they want.” - Kelly Shoup

    In the first part of this episode, Kelly is discussing God’s role in play. When God rested on the seventh day, it wasn’t because He was tired - He was being a good parent, and modeling for us what we need to be happy and healthy. Secondly, Kelly is talking about how play is a child’s job: when a child plays, he’s learning. When you observe the way he plays - his limitations, his growing abilities, etc. - you’re learning who your child is now and how he’s changed over the past months. Thirdly, Kelly is encouraging you to play. Show your child what it means to enjoy every age and stage of your life by pursuing your own recreational loves.

    Does your child like to sprint across the yard as fast as she can, or would she rather meander and look at bugs? Being with her as she plays can give you insights into who she is that you won’t get any other way. The work you do as a parent to keep the family and home running smoothly is important, but playing with your children allows them to connect with you in the only way that they know how to connect. And if you’re worried that it will take too much time or needs to be intensely active, don’t be: ten minutes of pointing out clouds that look like ice cream cones and turtles can be enough for your child to feel connected with you. So the next time your child tugs on your pant leg, take it as an invitation from God to relax for a few minutes, and go play.

    Kelly Links

    Website

    Instagram

    Youtube

    Free Consult Call

    Sensory Profile Quiz

    Monthly Membership

    One-on-One Coaching

  • In this second part of Kelly's series on How-Tos for a Better Holiday, Kelly focuses on ways to make parents and children have a better home-based holiday experience. With communication, allowing children to have a say and parents having presence with their children, the holidays at home can be a wonderful time.

    “The magic of Christmas is you: your presence.” - Kelly Shoup

    Welcome back to the Making Sense of Parenting podcast! In the last episode, Kelly talked about multiple ways to improve the holidays when you’re traveling with young children. Today, Kelly is showing you how to improve your holiday experience right in your own home. She begins with the foundation of any good relationship: communication.

    As moms, we have our to-do list so firmly implanted in our minds, that sometimes we don’t realize that no-one else knows the plan. Kelly is encouraging moms to communicate all of the family holiday events clearly, whether verbally or through sticky-notes. But don’t just communicate the schedule - let’s talk boundaries, too! Are you changing up your routine this holiday season? Will it be affecting your attendance at a family member’s event? Let them know well in advance, to remove any last-minute drama from your holiday experience.

    Should you bring homemade cookies to an event, or settle for store-bought? Is it okay to visit Santa Claus with your little ones? Kelly is helping you create a holiday that caters to the age and stage of your children this year, instead of hoping for a holiday that is only possible with older kids. Let your five-year-old give her teacher the brownies she made, even if she forgot to put the egg in the recipe. Let your toddler decorate the bottom half of the tree with homemade ornaments. Let your three-year-old wrap a gift his own way. Embrace the mess!

    But most of all? Be present. Let your children know that you’re really there, seeing them, hearing them, loving them right where they are, in all their child-like glory. It’s the best Christmas gift you can give them.

    Links

    Website

    Instagram

    Free Consult Call

    Sensory Profile Quiz

    Monthly Membership

    One-on-One Coaching

  • Are you traveling with young children over the holidays? Then this episode is for you! Today, Kelly is offering tips to parents who feel nervous about traveling with young kids, and it all begins with managing expectations. Where are you traveling? How long are you staying? How old are your kids? A successful trip hinges on the answers to these and other questions that Kelly is asking you today.

    “I don’t call it a vacation… I like to call it a memory-making adventure.” - Kelly Shoup

    ‘Vacation’ implies relaxation - maybe the first way to improve your expectations is to replace that word with a more accurate term, like “memory-making adventure.” Kelly also suggests that you keep the environment similar to your usual environment at home. Rent a house rather than a hotel room. Keep your child’s nap schedule intact. Choose a twenty-minute adventure over a day-long escapade. Feed the kids meals they already know and love. It might be more work, but if your child’s sensory system is at peace, you as the parent will enjoy the experience so much more.

    Did you know that there are websites that will rent baby gear? Simplify your packing and enhance the ease of your trip by renting strollers and highchairs when you arrive at your destination! In every endeavor, take the ages and stages of your kids into consideration: talk with your spouse and create a plan that respects their needs and limitations. And communicate beforehand with your loved ones! Does Grandma want you to attend eight events? Explain your limitations and tell her that you’ll prioritize her top two. Does a long-lost college friend want you to drive over and visit with her? Ask her to come to you over naptime, to heighten your chances of getting those quality conversations you’re both craving. It is completely possible for the parents of young children to enjoy a trip - it just requires a little bit of creative pre-gaming.

    Travel Links

    BabyQuip

    Baby’s Away

    Rents 4 Baby

    Babylist

    Links

    Website

    Instagram

    Free Consult Call

    Sensory Profile Quiz

    Monthly Membership

    One-on-One Coaching

  • Happy Thanksgiving! Today, Kelly is discussing some best practices surrounding holiday prep, and giving parents concrete ways to foster inclusion among their children and to ease the burden of hosting events with little ones. If you’re worried about the holidays, fear not: Kelly is offering achievable pre-game strategies for the season - or any other big event with kids!

    “The imperfections make it perfect.” - Kelly Shoup

    As parents, we want the perfect Thanksgiving: we imagine swirling cursive name cards and perfectly baked pies. But for just a moment, ask Martha Stewart to take a back seat and imagine your six-year-old’s pipe-cleaner napkin rings, or the backwards P on Grandpa’s name card. Picture a Thanksgiving where your four-year-old tells the guests where to put their purses and coats, and the paper placemats are decorated with stickers and a child’s little gratitudes. Is it possible that the memory of the messiness might someday be more important than the crisp white tablecloths and tapers you’ve seen in magazines?

    Kelly isn’t just thinking about kid crafts, though. She also has great tips on communicating the needs of your children with your family and friends, discussing health issues or expectations beforehand, and how to gently correct a child’s mistakes without embarrassing her in front of guests. In this one episode, Kelly is offering you the recipe for a perfectly imperfect Thanksgiving - one that you’ll savor for years to come.

    Links

    Website

    Instagram

    Free Consult Call

    Sensory Profile Quiz

    Monthly Membership

    One-on-One Coaching

  • In today’s episode, Kelly is asking the question: is your child’s meltdown a sensory issue or a behavioral issue? Here’s the short answer: it’s both. Beginning with dictionary definitions of “behavior” and “sensory,” Kelly is defining the link that inevitably exists between what a child senses and how he expresses it physically. Once this link is understood, both the parent and the child are equipped to show up well in their interactions with each other and the world.

    “We aren’t going for ‘perfect:’ we’re going for ‘pretty good’ behavior.” - Kelly Shoup

    Listen in as Kelly describes the many, many ways that the sensory system is processing information. She explains the way the nervous system informs the sensory system, and how each of our brains is hardwired to receive information in a unique way. Even the extent of our life experience can impact the way our sensory system responds to stimuli. A sensory-seeking child may look like he’s misbehaving, but he’s just trying to regulate himself in the only way he knows how.

    To highlight these points, Kelly creates a scenario - you want to connect with your friend at a high school football game, and you’re bringing your inexperienced three-year-old with you. Here are three questions to ask yourself: 1. What is the objective? (Connecting with your friend? Exposing your child to football?) 2. How is your child’s interoceptive sense? (Has he slept recently? Eaten? Is he warm enough?) 3. What is his sensory profile? (Is he more sensitive in sight? Hearing? Touch?) With Kelly’s guidance, this episode is an excellent opportunity for parents to learn the ways they can help their child behave well, while also achieving their own personal objective: watching high school football with a good friend.

    Links

    Website

    Instagram

    Free Consult Call

    Monthly Membership

    One-on-One Coaching

  • Today, Kelly is asking parents this question: Are you operating from control or creating connection in your relationships with your children? And if the answer was “operating from control,” no judgement! But you’re definitely going to want to hear this episode - it’s a good one.

    “God created (your children) to want their own independence, to want a choice, to want a say, to live from their uniqueness.” - Kelly Shoup

    Welcome to Episode 29 of the Making Sense of Parenting Podcast. As moms, we have a natural ability to keep track of multiple things at once - schedules, appointments, menus, illnesses - but this ability can initiate a tendency to control everything. Control is an action born from fear, and it causes kids to push back and fight harder for their God-given need for autonomy. Throughout this episode, Kelly is inviting moms and dads both to release a moment of control to discover a lifetime of connection with their kids.How does controlling feel in your body? What if you could inspire the behavior you want through connection, instead of condemning the behavior you don’t want through consequences? Kelly talks about the behavior that society demands of very young children, who are not naturally made to behave perfectly all of the time. She emphasizes the importance of the ages three to eight, and explains that connection helps you enjoy the entire process of your parenting journey: not just the result. With helpful tips on implementing connection and a quick sketch of what the first few weeks of implementation might look like, this is the best episode for the exhausted parent who is longing for more peace in parenting.

    Links

    Website

    Instagram

    Free Consult Call

    Monthly Membership

    One-on-One Coaching

  • In this episode Kelly looks to the true heart of parenting and the very unique and God-given role that a mother plays in raising children.

    “There are more neural pathways going from the heart up to the brain than the brain to the heart.”

    Do you ever think that your heart has a mind of its own? You might be surprised to learn that you’re not far from the truth. In this episode, Kelly is explaining what the brain and the heart have in common, and how that very trait can lead heads and hearts in different directions in parenting. And if you’re a mom listening to this episode, Kelly has a special appeal to you: be open to working from your heart instead of your head. It’s your God-given, feminine superpower.

    Have you heard of heart coherence and heart connection? Kelly explains why these qualities of the heart are vital to parenting, and encourages mothers to explore what this might mean in their interactions with their children. What if you shifted your parenting from control to connection? How might that change your daily experience with your children?

    In a world that is constantly feeding our brains with information on how to raise our children, it is easy to lose sight of what our hearts might be trying to tell us. What if you weren’t parenting like that mom on Instagram or the author of that parenting book? What if you were parenting like YOU? What if your natural temperament and tendencies were what your children needed?

    This episode is a beautiful opportunity to explore the possibilities of your own unique version of parenting. From Bible verses to practical tips, Kelly is ready with a wealth of wisdom for the parent who is ready to shift the weight of parenting from the head to the heart.

    Links

    Website

    Instagram

    Free Consult Call

    Monthly Membership

    One-on-One Coaching

  • This episode is the seventh and final part of the Trouble Making Sense of Your Child's Behavior series. Kelly digs into the lesser known interoceptive sense or internal body awareness.

    “I've been helping parents with what the sensory system looks like for over twenty years, so we can pretty quickly collect clues from how your child is acting.” - Kelly Shoup

    Welcome to Part 7 of the Sensory System series! Today, Kelly is discussing the final sense - the interoceptive sense, otherwise known as internal body awareness. Are you hot, cold, itchy, thirsty, hungry, or full? Your interoceptive sense is speaking to you! Does your child tell you that they need to go to the bathroom, while simultaneously having an accident? Then this episode is for you: today, Kelly is teaching you how to work with a child who may have some limitations in their interoceptive sense.

    Parents will ask Kelly, “Is this a sensory issue or a behavioral issue?” The truth is, a sensory issue can become a behavioral issue. A child who becomes used to wetting the bed accidentally may start accepting that they wet the bed every night, and stop trying to get up and go to the potty. This sense can also affect emotional regulation: a child who can’t feel that they need to go to the bathroom might also not be able to articulate that they’re feeling scared or anxious, which could lead to emotional outbursts. Does your child seem invincible? Maybe they scrape their knee and handle it like a champ, but then a tickle fight leads to tears. Again, the interoceptive sense may have a kink that needs to be worked out.

    Listen in as Kelly explains how the interoceptive sense affects self-regulation - that constant struggle for all humans to get to a place where they feel calm and safe. She’s also explaining the connection between the nervous system and the sensory system, and why both need to be in a good place before a child can engage well in their daily life.

    If the situations discussed in this episode sound familiar, check out the links below! Kelly is ready and waiting to be your guide on this journey with your kiddo.

    Links

    Website

    Instagram

    Free Consult Call

    Sensory Profile Quiz

    Monthly Membership

  • In this episode Kelly continues the series on Trouble Making Sense of Your Child's Behavior. In part VI, Kelly tackles the taste and smell sensory system of children.

    “God put them here for His purpose for them, and they are

    built with an automatic system to keep them safe.” - Kelly Shoup

    Welcome to Part 6 of the Sensory System series! Today, Kelly is talking about two closely-connected senses: taste and smell. She’s not only explaining the sensitivities behind your child’s behavior toward food and smells, but she’s also offering multiple solutions and strategies to face these behaviors with confidence. By the end of this podcast, you will feel equipped to be a parent who knows how to work in collaboration with who your child truly is. And these actions won’t just improve yours and your child’s life now: they’ll pay dividends throughout your child’s adult life.

    Most of us were told as children to “Eat everything on your plate, or else!” But Kelly is turning this popular reprimand on its head and explaining why it’s actually wiser not to make your child eat food they don’t want to eat. She’s also discussing why fresh baked cookies sell houses, how over-responders and under-responders react to taste and smell, and why you might want to ask Grandma to blow out her scented candles.

    The final moments of the podcast are a treasure-trove of wisdom, as Kelly shares multiple tips and tricks to keep your sensitive kiddo feeling safe and seen by you. From choosing the best time to expose them to new scents and flavors, to advocating for them while you’re visiting family and friends, you’ll learn to be the superhero they need you to be. And if that doesn’t interest you, at least stick around to hear about “snake bites” and “no-thank-you bites.” It’s definitely worth it!

    .

    Reach out to Kelly!

    Website

    Instagram

    Free Consult Call

    Sensory Profile Quiz

    Monthly Membership (This includes a food webinar to help you with the sensitivities discussed in this podcast.)

  • Continuing the Trouble Making Sense of Your Child's Behavior series, Kelly moves to Part V and focuses on the Touch/Tactile sense of children.

    “Kids need to know that they can count on their parents to have their needs met, to feel safe. ” -Kelly Shoup

    Do you feel like your child’s behavior is out of control? In today’s episode, Kelly is discussing the sense of touch, and how it relates to your child’s behavior. Believe it or not, this isn’t a behavioral issue: your child is simply learning to regulate their sensory system. And the good news? You can help them accomplish that with a few simple adjustments.

    Does your son leave a mess around his mouth after eating? Does your daughter refuse to hug Grandma? Maybe your child is the first boy in several generations who doesn’t want to keep up the family tradition of playing football. Or your daughter acts like a magical Color Run is her personal idea of Hell. Kelly is addressing all of these scenarios, and more.

    Beginning with a quick review of the sensory system, Kelly discusses the God-given uniqueness of each child, and explains why touch can be a sensitive area for some children. She also identifies the difference between an over-responder and an under-responder: an insight that can change the outlook of a confused, frustrated parent. Best of all, Kelly has a few simple, practical tips to help you guide your child to interact well with the world around him, effectively eliminating his discomfort while still creatively achieving your own hoped-for goals as a parent.

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  • Continuing the Making Sense of Your Child’s Behavior series, Part IV, Kelly focuses on the vestibular/movement sense. The vestibular sense is linked to the inner ear. As a general rule children’s bodies need more vestibular stimulation or input to their sensory system than adults do. Children who have a “hiccup” with their vestibular system can sometimes be labeled as being a troublemaker, being out of control or needing firmer discipline from the parents. When in reality, the child is simply seeking proper input for that vestibular sense.

    The vestibular system contributes to balance and our sense of where the body is in space. The vestibular system works with our auditory and visual inputs, so our eyes and our hearing work to give accurate information to the brain about what the body is doing.

    The vestibular needs of a child are in direct relation to whether they are an under-responder or an over-responder with their sensory system. An under-responder (a sensory-seeker) will need more vestibular input, more movement. The over-responder is movement sensitive, so only a small amount of movement is alarming to the nervous system.

    Understanding these sensory systems is very important for parents because if something is off in the child’s sensory system it can cause the child to act out with some behavior that is not ill-intentioned but because their body is automatically responding to what is going on inside them. But with the proper understanding and tools, parents can be prepared. Kelly will help give you the information and strategies you need so that you can help your child develop and find the purpose that God has for them.

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