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Welcome to a very special bonus episode of In a Mother’s Mind! This episode is hosted by Vanessa, a birth mother who has completed the Pause Programme and continues to get involved in Pause’s campaign work. Two years ago, Vanessa decided to write a letter to the social worker who removed her children from her care. In this episode, she talks to Jules Hillier, Chief Executive of Pause, about what made her decide to do this and the impact of her decision.
We are pleased to share this episode with you this week, which is Social Work Week in the UK, to highlight positive relationships between social workers and birth parents. We recognise that everyone’s journey is different, but we hope that Vanessa’s experience inspires listeners who might be in a similar situation, to overcome hurdles that they feel are holding them back.
Hosted by Vanessa, a woman with experience of the Pause Programme
Produced by Fi Gilligan and Karina GrahamMusic by Ben Jacob
Editing by Will JacobTo find out more about Pause, visit: pause.org.uk
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Episode 3
Welcome back to the final episode of this season of ‘In a Mother’s Mind’! This podcast series aims to raise awareness about the experiences and needs of women who have had children removed from their care. It was created by a group of four Pause graduates, who have experience of having children removed from their care.
In this episode, Vanessa speaks to Sarah Moat, her former Pause Practitioner, about how Pause works in partnership with local authority housing providers to support women with their housing situations. Karina Graham, Pause’s Involvement and Communications Assistant, then leads a discussion with the podcast group to discuss the emotional challenges of staying in the same home, or moving to a new one, after having children removed from their care. As a group, they talk about some of the practical and creative ways they have approached this.
If you are going through – or have gone through – care proceedings and have been hit by the bedroom tax, you may be eligible for financial support through a Discretionary Housing Payment (DHP). Find out more about this and how to apply on the government website.
Hosted by Helena, a woman with experience of the Pause Programme
Featuring Heidi and Vanessa, women with experience of the Pause ProgrammeProduced by Fi Gilligan and Karina Graham
Music by Ben Jacob
Editing by Will JacobTo find out more about Pause, visit: pause.org.uk
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Welcome to episode two of this season of ‘In a Mother’s Mind’! This podcast series aims to raise awareness about the experiences and needs of women who have had children removed from their care. It was created by a group of four Pause graduates, who have experience of having children removed from their care.
We know from government figures that domestic abuse is one of the leading causes of homelessness amongst women, and housing is the primary barrier for women attempting to leave abusers. This is even more complex when children are involved. In this episode, we talk to Vicky Jennings, who is a Senior Practitioner for BCHA’s women’s refuge in Plymouth, about some of the challenges women and children face when fleeing domestic abuse, as well as some housing solutions that are available. We’ll then delve deeper into the issue of domestic abuse by talking to barrister Rachel Cooper, from Coram Chambers. We’ll get a legal perspective on what’s being done to make the family courts more trauma-informed and what more needs to be done.
If you’re experiencing – or are at risk of domestic abuse – you can ask your local council for support finding another place to live. You can find out more information on the Shelter website. You can also call the free National Domestic Abuse Helpline if you need help finding a refuge space.
When talking about support services available in Plymouth, Vicky mentions the local charity Trevi and their Sunflower Centre, Plymouth’s only women’s centre, providing a safe hub for connection and hope.
Vicky also mentions how pets can be an additional barrier to leaving an abusive relationship, as not all emergency accommodation accept animals. You can find out about national services that could help on the Refuge website. If you live in London and need access to an animal refuge for your pet, you can contact the charity Mayhew.
Hosted by Helena, a woman with experience of the Pause Programme
Interviews by Heidi and Helena, women with experience of the Pause Programme
Produced by Fi Gilligan and Karina Graham
Music by Ben Jacob
Editing by Will JacobTo find out more about Pause, visit: pause.org.uk
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Welcome back to another season of ‘In a Mother’s Mind’! This podcast series aims to raise awareness about the experiences and needs of women who have had children removed from their care. It was created by a group of four women who have experience of having children removed from their care and who have completed the Pause Programme.
In this season, we will be discussing some of the complexities women face around housing, when going through – or after going through – care proceedings. We are kicking the season off with a discussion with Polly Neate, CEO of Shelter. We discuss some of the practical and financial challenges this group of women face, and what can be done to better support them. We are also joined by Angela Frazer-Wicks, who is the Chair of Trustees for Family Rights Group, to hear about her own personal difficulties with housing before, during and after having her two children removed from her care.
**Trigger warning: please take care when listening to this podcast episode, as there are references to personal experience of the care system, violence and suicide.
If you are experiencing difficulties with housing, there are lots of services out there where you can get support. In the podcast episode, Polly mentions that St Mungo’s and Homeless Link have been doing some important work around understanding women’s experiences and making homelessness services more trauma-informed.
As Angela mentions in her interview, you can seek advice from Family Rights Group about care proceedings.
If you are experiencing domestic abuse, contact Women’s Aid, or a local domestic abuse charity in your area.
Hosted by Helena, a woman with experience of the Pause Programme
Interviews by Helena and Vanessa, women with experience of the Pause Programme
Produced by Fi Gilligan and Karina Graham
Music by Ben Jacob
Editing by Will JacobTo find out more about Pause, visit: pause.org.uk
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Welcome back to this very special season of Pause and Listen! This is the final episode in our season ‘In a Mother’s Mind’, which aims to raise awareness about the mental health experiences and needs of women who have had children removed from their care. It was created by a group of five Pause graduates who have experience of having children removed from their care.
In this episode, we share some messages of support for other women who have had children removed from their care. We will also hear some music written and performed by Vanessa.
Hosted by Helena, a woman with experience of the Pause Programme
Messages of support by Chloe, Elaine, Emily, Heidi and Helena, women with experience of the Pause Programme
Produced by Fi Gilligan
Music by Ben Jacob
Editing by Will JacobTo find out more about Pause, visit: pause.org.uk
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In a Mother’s Mind: the mental health needs and experiences of women who have had children removed from their care
Welcome back to this very special season of Pause and Listen! This season is called ‘In a Mother’s Mind’. It aims to raise awareness about the mental health experiences and needs of women who have had children removed from their care. It was created by a group of five Pause graduates who have experience of having children removed from their care.
In this episode, we discuss the lack of specialised support available for women who have had children removed from their care. We are joined by Pause Trustee, Vicki Nash, who works for the mental health charity Mind, and Clinical Psychologist Nicola Labuschagne.
*please note that since this episode was recorded, the government committed to increasing benefits in line with inflation in the Autumn statement.
Hosted by Helena, a woman with experience of the Pause Programme
Interviews by Lauren and Vanessa, women with experience of the Pause Programme
Produced by Fi Gilligan
Music by Ben Jacob
Editing by Will JacobTo find out more about Pause, visit: pause.org.uk
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In a Mother’s Mind: the mental health needs and experiences of women who have had children removed from their care
We are delighted to share this very special season of Pause and Listen with you! This season is called ‘In a Mother’s Mind’. It aims to raise awareness about the mental health experiences and needs of women who have had children removed from their care. It was created by a group of five Pause graduates who have experience of having children removed from their care.
In this episode, we discuss the stigma and judgement that women who have had children removed from their care face, and what can be done to erase that stigma and to better support women. We are joined by Pause Practitioner, Mary Grace, and Pause Trustee, Lara Patel, who is the Deputy Director of Children’s Services at Oxfordshire County Council.
Hosted by Helena, a woman with experience of the Pause Programme
Interviews by Heidi and Helena, women with experience of the Pause Programme
Produced by Fi Gilligan
Music by Ben Jacob
Editing by Will JacobTo find out more about Pause, visit: pause.org.uk
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For this special episode of Pause and Listen, we are passing the mic to women working with Pause in the North East. The women have been attending weekly music therapy sessions with Afra, a Nordoff Robins music therapist. Nordoff Robins is the UK’s largest music therapy charity. The sessions started as a music appreciation group and a space for the women to share their favourite music and how it connected them to important moments in their lives. This episode focuses on Vanessa’s journey into writing her own songs, as well as live performances of the three songs she has written.
A huge thank you to Vanessa for sharing her music, as well as all the women who have taken part in the sessions, Afra and all the Practitioners at Pause North East. We really hope you enjoy this bonus episode of Pause and Listen, exploring the power of music therapy sessions and the connections they create.
Hosted by Clare Laxton
Produced by Fi Gilligan
Music by Ben Jacob
Editing by Will JacobTo find out more about Pause, visit: pause.org.uk
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In this episode, we discuss expert witness assessments during care proceedings. Although these assessments fulfil the function of informing proceedings, they are carried out by independent experts that are usually not part of the mental health service landscape in the local area. This creates a separate issue in that they offer no referral to mental health services for women, which could lead to positive change.
We are joined by Clinical Psychologist Sheena Webb and Kelly Andrews, who is a Pre-Birth Practitioner for the Foundation Service, which is part of SWIFT Specialist Family Service in East Sussex. We also hear a clip from Suzy*, a woman working with Pause, about her experience of expert witness assessments, when she spoke to Naga Munchetty on BBC Radio 5 Live on Tuesday 5 July 2022.
*not her real nameHosted by Clare Laxton
Produced by Fi Gilligan
Music by Ben Jacob
Editing by Will JacobTo find out more about Pause, visit: pause.org.uk
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In this episode, we are joined by Ellen Marks, social worker, play therapist and also Pause’s Director of Practice and Learning, to discuss the Care Review’s final report and findings that were published in May.
Pause has worked with the Care Review team over the past year to ensure the experiences of birth parents are represented in their final report. We wanted to see a recognition of the needs of birth parents and a clear recommendation for them to receive support. We also wanted to see changes to family time, relationships with children and letterbox contact. In this episode, we discuss with Ellen what the review could mean for birth parents and their children.
The Care Review team have spent a lot of time with women who work with Pause and we are grateful to them for listening to their feedback.
Hosted by Clare Laxton
Produced by Fi Gilligan
Music by Ben Jacob
Editing by Will JacobTo find out more about Pause, visit: pause.org.uk
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Welcome back to Pause and Listen! We are so delighted to share our fourth series with you all. In this exciting episode, we take our #TimeToDeliver campaign on letterbox contact to Downing Street. Join us as we walk down Whitehall to Downing Street, to hand in our open letter to the Prime Minister. The letter is calling for changes to the current letterbox contact system, which is failing adopted children, birth parents and adoptive families. The system is outdated, complicated and does not always lead to long-lasting, meaningful relationships. Families need consistent support and a system based on relationships, not administration. That’s why we’re letting Boris Johnson know it’s #TimeToDeliver on letterbox contact.
In this episode, we are joined by women who have all worked with Pause, as well as Larrah, a Pause Practitioner, and Hannah, the Coordinator for Pause Plymouth.
Hosted by Clare Laxton and Phoebe Green
Produced by Fi Gilligan
Music by Ben Jacob
Editing by Will JacobTo find out more about Pause, visit: pause.org.uk
Read our open letter here. -
For this episode of Pause and Listen, we are joined by Harpreet Kaur, Practice Lead for Pause Southwark, and Liz, a woman who worked with Pause Hackney. Liz is now a Peer Mentor and has also set up her own support network called Little Steps. In this episode, we are discussing letterbox contact, an indirect form of contact where adoptive and birth families exchange letters, often once a year.
Relationships with children is a top priority for women working with Pause. In particular, they consistently tell us about the difficulties they have with letterbox contact. The letterbox contact system is not delivering – it is outdated, complicated and does not always lead to long-lasting, meaningful relationships between parents and children. They deserve better. Families need consistent support and a system based on relationships, not administration. Our report looks at the system, with a focus on the experience of birth mothers, and provides recommendations for change. To read more about our Time to Deliver report on letterbox contact, please visit our website: https://www.pause.org.uk/what-we-do/influencing/letterbox-contact/
To support our campaign calling for a better system, please email your MP and let them know it’s #TimeToDeliver on letterbox contact: https://action.pause.org.uk/Timetodeliver/
Hosted by Clare Laxton. Follow @LadyLaxton
Produced by Fi Gilligan
Music by Ben Jacob
Editing by Will JacobTo find out more about Pause, visit: www.pause.org.uk
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For this episode of Pause and Listen, we are joined by Laura and Peggy, a.k.a. Two Good Mums @TwoGoodMums. Laura and Peggy’s relationship is an exceptional story: they are the birth mother and adoptive mother of two sons CJ and RJ. Since first meeting, Laura and Peggy have worked together to build a relationship that led to regular face-to-face contact, as they felt that the usual post-adoption contact arrangements did not serve them or the boys. It’s a positive story of post-adoption contact.
Find out more about Laura and Peggy’s adoption journey at www.twogoodmums.co.uk
Hosted by Clare Laxton. Follow @LadyLaxton
Produced by Fi Gilligan
Music by Ben Jacob
Editing by Will JacobTo find out more about Pause, visit: www.pause.org.uk
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This episode of Pause and Listen is all about the Care Review: the independent review of children’s social care in England. We are joined by Josh MacAlister @JoshMacAlister, who is leading the review. Josh is a former schoolteacher and founder of the charity Frontline.
Earlier this year, Pause submitted our recommendations to the Care Review, with a focus on how we can better support the women whose children have been removed. Our key recommendations focus on:
1. Consistency, stability and communication
2. Institutional learning
3. Trauma-informed support
4. Data and regulationHosted by Clare Laxton. Follow @LadyLaxton
Produced by Fi Gilligan
Music by Ben Jacob
Editing by Will JacobTo find out more about Pause, visit: www.pause.org.uk
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Welcome back to Pause and Listen! We are so delighted to share our third series with you all. In this episode, we will be exploring trauma-informed practice: what it means in reality and what it feels like as a woman working with Pause. We are joined by Dr Naomi Sutton @DrNaomiSutton, a sexual health professional working in Rotherham, and Christina Worle @ChristinaWorle a dentist in Plymouth @PenDentalSE. Both Naomi and Christina have worked with Pause and take a trauma-informed approach to their field of practice. We will also hear from Pause Practitioner Larrah Thompson @Larrah, and Jessie, a woman supported by Pause Plymouth.
Hosted by Clare Laxton. Follow @LadyLaxton
Produced by Louis Vine
Music by Ben Jacob
Editing by Will JacobTo find out more about Pause, visit: www.pause.org.uk
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In this episode, we are looking back at what has been a challenging year for Pause, the women we support, and the sector at large.
We are joined by two Pause Graduates, Emma and Heidi reflecting on a year in lockdown, Katherine Sacks Jones @KatharineSJ CEO ofBecome @Become1992, Minesh Patel @minesh1112, Principal Policy Manager at Citizens Advice @CitizensAdvice and Sarah Dangar @SarahDangar Deputy CEO of Advocacy After Fatal Domestic Abuse @AAFDA6.
Hosted by Clare Laxton. Follow @ladylaxtonProduced by Louis Vine
Music by Ben Jacob
Editing by Will Jacob -
In this episode, as part of our work during the 16 Days of Activism against gender based violence, we talk about something a bit different, and difficult. We talk about the premature deaths of women who’ve had more than one child removed from their care. The episode explores how Pause scoping exercises started finding women who had had more than one child removed who had died before we were able to offer them support. Most of these women died prematurely. We ask why they died and what can be done about it to make sure women aren't dying in the future.
We hear from Jules Hillers, CEO of Pause, Ellen Marks, Director of Practice and Learning at Pause, Anna Smith, CEO of One25 and Helen Daniel, National Scoping Lead at Pause. Although we don't have all the answers this episode starts the conversation about why women are dying prematurely and what can be done about it.
You can find out more on Pause website www.pause.org.uk and more about One25 and their work on their website at www.one25.org.uk.
This episode is dedicated to those 233 women who have died, as well as all the women who have died who were known to Pause Practices across the UK. -
In this extended podcast episode, to coincide with the beginning of 16 Days of Activism against Gender-based Violence, we are discussing Domestic Abuse and highlighting less visible forms of abuse. We are joined by Teresa Williams, Head of Media Relations & Communications at Women's Aid and Dr Nicola Sharp-Jeffs OBE, Founder and Director Surviving Economic Abuse and will hear from two women working with Pause about their experience of Domestic Abuse.
*Trigger warning* This podcast episodes discuss issues which may cause distress to some including graphic descriptions of domestic abuse.
If you need support or are affected by any issues raised you can get support below:
https://www.womensaid.org.uk/
https://survivingeconomicabuse.org/ -
In the last of our podcast miniseries, we are joined by clinical psychologist, trainer, and author, Karen Treisman and Pause Chief Executive, Jules Hillier. We will be reflecting on the lockdown experience, creativity, and wellbeing during the pandemic, as well as thinking about what things we might not want to go back to 'normal'. You will also have the chance to hear poetry created by women and practitioners during lockdown.
Joined by Karen Treisman clinical psychologist, trainer, and author. Follow @dr_treisman and Jules Hillier, Chief Executive of Pause. Follow @rosylight.
Hosted by Clare Laxton
Produced by Louis Vine
Music by Ben Jacob
Editing by Will Jacob -
In this episode, we hear from Vanessa and Gemma, two women working with Pause, about their experience of contact with their children and why the system of contact in the UK needs to change for the better. We are also joined by Lisa Harker, Director of the Nuffield Family Justice Observatory talking about what we already know needs to change and what we can learn about relationships with children from the COVID-19 experience.
*Trigger warning* podcast episodes discuss issues which may cause distress to some.Joined by Vanessa and Gemma, women working with Pause and Lisa Director of the Nuffield Family Justice Observatory. Follow @NuffieldFJO / @lisa_harker.
Hosted by Clare Laxton. Follow @ladylaxton.
Produced by Louis Vine
Music by Ben Jacob
Editing by Will Jacob
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