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Ryan's off to Denver with a heart full of love... and STD's.
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1. What Australians call New Zealanders
2. What Virginians call West Virginians
3. What Englishmen call Scots or Welshmen
4. What Northeastern Americans call the Amish
5. What Russians call Central Asians (ie. Kazakhstan, as in Borat)
6. What Argentinians call Patagonians
7. What Danes call Swedes
8. What Swedes call Danes
9. You get the idea.... -
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Bizarre Mating Rituals:
As kinky as some people can be, we humans simply don’t hold a candle to animals when it comes to mating. Sure we might dabble in orgies, wife sharing and auto-erotic asphyxiation, but that just doesn’t compare to some of the crazy crap that’s done out in the wild. Penis fencing worms, raping turtles, shit-flinging hippos and clitoris clinging fish to name just a few. If you thought your sex life was weird, be prepared to be humbled.
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Imagine a man so ambitious and cool that he built his own plane, became filthy rich, and dated Hollywood’s most glamorous actresses. Now imagine a man so weird that he kept jars of his own urine, wore Kleenex boxes for shoes, and arranged his peas by size before he ate them. Believe it or not, these men are one and the same. Introducing Howard Hughes, owner of the Spruce Goose and employer of a fly catcher. Leonardo DiCaprio did a great job portraying him in the movie The Aviator, and now we will do a mediocre job discussing his ridiculousness. Tune in to find out more.
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Like it or not, we all one day have to meet our maker. While most of us may prefer to slip away in a bed surrounded by our loved ones, a few of us leave this earth in style. Allow us to introduce those who went out in a burst of glory. Erotic electrocution, cucumber killing, Pope and the page boy and a Zimbabwe muff mauling are just a few of the stories you have in store when you join us today. Get ready to be turned on or freaked out, depending on where your head’s at.
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Somewhere right along the border of northern New Mexico lies a small Native American town with a dark secret. A vast, seven story underground alien facility lies underneath its desert hills, and only a very select few were aware of it and brave enough to tell the world. Why didn’t the world believe them? Probably due to zero evidence, but possibly due to a U.S Airforce cover-up. Take a listen and decide for yourself.
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We all know how Adolf Hitler is, but do we really know who Adolf Hitler is? Why did he hate the Jews so much? How did he come to power? And why did he only have one testicle? These pressing questions are just a few of the many that we tackle in this episode. From high school dropout to art school reject, from prison inmate to leader of Germany, take a listen and learn about the worlds most hated lunatic.
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Let’s face it, every belief system out there is a little whacky (except yours, of course); but there are some that are just too whacky to be ignored. And when you combine whacky beliefs with a charismatic lunatic and some hopelessly lost people, you have a perfect recipe for a cult. Today, you get to hear about some of the most infamous cults that have existed. From Heaven’s Gate to the Children of God, all the way to Scientology and everything in between, take a journey through the darkest and dumbest channels of human behavior.
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With billions of people on this planet, you would think one would, at the very least, search for a mate outside their own home. But alas, this is not always the case. They say family is the most important thing in the world, and some take this truth to its most unnatural extreme. Introducing the always freaky and sometimes awful world of incestuous relationships. From sibling sex to cousin copulation, we have it all covered here in disgusting detail. And as for why the offspring of these freaky couples are typically doomed to birth defects, we also delve into the science behind it. Join us for an hour of inbreeding insanity.
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Remember that time when you banged on the couch in front of the TV? You were being watched. Remember when you searched for bisexual threesome porn on your iPhone? You were being tracked. And remember when you lost control of your car and ran into a telephone pole? That was an attempt to assassinate you. Well, maybe that was just you being drunk, but the other two are as real as it gets. Wikileaks is at it again, this time exposing the dark truths about how the CIA spies on the American people, using all types of technology to see what you’re doing, and who you’re doing. Privacy is dead, but don’t worry; it has been for some time now, you just weren’t aware of it.
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Notorious for their pristine beaches, boomerangs and use of the word “mate,” the Land Down Under is America’s mysterious and captivating cousin in the Southern Hemisphere. But they have a dark side. That dark side being their petrifying plethora of terrifying animals ready to bite you, kick you, sting you or just creep you the hell out. Today, we go through the seemingly endless list of these Aussie assassins. From the torturous sting of the box jelly fish, to the world’s most venomous snakes and spiders, all the way to the kick boxing kangaroo’s and cassowary’s. If you’re planning a trip any time soon, save this episode for the flight home, if you’re still alive that is.
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Here’s some math they won’t teach you in school: billions of people plus stupidity equals some funny shit happening every now and then. It’s about time we explore some of these for our own amusement. Today, we uncover some of the most bizarre conditions and occurrences people have ever faced, many of them self-inflicted. From the baking soda bitch to the Persian eye pube man, and from toothpick swallowing to infected armpits, we will cover the broad spectrum of ill-advised humor. If you happen to enjoy the American pastime of laughing at the misfortune of others, today’s episode won’t disappoint.
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If you’re outraged by Russia’s involvement in America’s election, take a chill pill because they have been international instigators for decades now. Allow us to introduce you to the KGB, Russia’s dirty version of the CIA. Today we guide you through their global and domestic mischief; from sex tape Indonesian black mail to failed assassination attempts, all the way to hostage dismemberment. Although under a different name, the KGB is very much alive and well today, up to their same old tricks and apparently…doing quite well for themselves.
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It takes a special kind of genius to conjure up a legal defense so bizarre and ridiculous that the jury feels no choice but to raise the white flag and declare the defendant insane. But these types of cases happen more often than you think. From the Matrix to transvestite panic defense all the way to extreme PMS syndrome, we have some stories to tell about the strangest legal defenses you will ever hear of, many that actually worked. If you respect lawyers now, you will respect them even more; and if you hate them, well…you will hate them times four.
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It appears that ever since the invention of the very first tool, people have been finding any reason they could to carve into each other. Today we talk about some off-the-wall surgeries throughout the ages. From trepanation and bloodletting back in ancient times, all the way to lobotomies practiced only less than a century ago, we’ll guide you through this sickening but sometimes innovative history. Be sure to stay tuned in until the end, when we announce the sure-fire cure for the affliction once known as “female hysteria.”
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So things have been too rough and you decide to be the controller of your fate and end the miserableness that is your life. Why go out locked up in your parents bathroom when you can finish yourself off in suicidal infamy? Many have chosen to do just that, and the world is surprisingly accommodating to your self-loathing tendencies. Today, we give you the most popular places for those who wish to end it all. From bridges to cliffs, waterfalls to towers, trains to volcanoes, you will be surprised at how ambitious the depressed and miserable can actually be. Join us and let us turn other people’s nightmares into your entertainment.
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Sea monsters are a real thing. Roughly 95% of the world’s oceans remain unexplored, so for those who disbelieve in sea monsters, we would love you to explain how you can be so sure. We have it all covered here, well we have a few of them covered. From multi-headed reptilian sea dragons to the infamous Loch Ness monster, and even an aborted Michael Phelps river dwelling kid snatcher. Come explore the depths of the sea along with the depths of Josh’s random knowledge.
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Here we are, less than a month away from the American Presidential elections, with a choice between the two most hated and polarizing candidates’ one could ever not ask for. Since Donald wears his defects on his sleeve, let’s focus on learning about the atrocious flaws of the more subtle candidate, Hillary Clinton. From her days defending a child molester, to attacking her husband’s slut-terns (slutty interns), all the way to her latest and greatest email disappearing act. Let’s get to know one of the most talented liars of our time; a woman who, when recently caught admitting she is two-faced, blamed Abraham Lincoln. And of course, we can’t leave out her husband’s frequent flyer miles on the Lolita Express with Jeffery Epstein. Which of these scandals are true and which are Republican propaganda? Join us to help sort out the historic mess.
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Completely accepted and difficult to differentiate between girls, lady boys are a southeast Asian delicacy. From local banker to student, all the way to weekend prostitute, you will find these individuals scattered throughout Thailand and the Philippines. A night with a lady boy is a night you will never forget, primarily due to the five inch surprise awaiting you in your drunken stupor. For those traveling to the southeast but wishing to avoid these coochless wonders, we will guide you through some ways to spot one. Come listen and join in on some transvestite fun.
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Apes. Damn dirty apes. Or maybe not dirty, if the Aquatic Ape theory holds any water, who knows, the zoo is for 8 year olds and we don’t go. Dirty or not we love them. There’s King Kong, who was hooking up with a hot blonde, Bubbles, who was Michael Jacksons best friend, and Harambe, who when we last checked was ahead of the Libertarians in the polls. We did some ape research (which doesn’t mean watching the view) and learned about the Aquatic Apes, who may or may not be closely related to us, which would finally explain Ryan Lochte. Tune in to Taste My Brain this week as we tell you all you need to know about the Waterside Ape.
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