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Facing the journey from separation to settlement can feel overwhelming and uncertain, but you’re not alone. In this episode, Laura and Lynette take you through the seven essential stages of the divorce process, from making the initial decision to separate, all the way to moving forward after your settlement. They share practical tips, emotional insights, and legal education to help you make empowered choices at every step. Whether you're at the beginning of this journey or somewhere in the middle, this episode offers a roadmap to guide you through.
Listen to This Episode If You:
🌟 Are just starting your divorce journey and don’t know what comes next.
❓ Need help understanding the steps from separation to settlement.
💡 Want tips on managing property settlements, parenting plans, and legal agreements.
🛡 Are facing challenges with a high-conflict or manipulative ex.
📚 Want to learn how to move forward emotionally and financially after the settlement is done.
Key Ideas Discussed in This Episode:Deciding to Separate: Understanding the importance of making the decision and how to document it for legal purposes.
Living Under One Roof: Strategies for managing separation when you’re still sharing a home due to financial or housing constraints.
Understanding Your Legal Rights: Why seeking legal education or advice early is critical to protect yourself.
Property and Financial Settlements: The steps involved in dividing assets, debts, and managing disclosure obligations.
Parenting Plans and Agreements: How to create effective parenting arrangements that prioritise the best interests of your children.
Finalising Legal Documents: What you need to know about consent orders, mediation, and navigating the court system if necessary.
Moving Forward After Divorce: Tips for reclaiming your independence, managing finances, and building a new life.
RESOURCES
Course Enrolment:
Join our Divorce Blueprint Course www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/enrol before the deadline to get personalised guidance, legal education, and emotional support from Laura and Lynette. Platinum spots are limited—sign up now to secure your place.
Emergency Contacts:
LEGAL AID https://www.legalaid.qld.gov.au/
Lifeline: 13 11 14
Kids Help Line: 1800 551 800
Aboriginal Family Domestic Violence Hotline: 1800 019 123
Relationships Australia 1300 364 277
Police: 000
DVConnect Womensline: 1800 811 811 (24 hours, 7 days a week)
DV Connect Mensline: 1800 600 636
National DV line: 1800 737 732 (1800 RESPECT)
Mensline Australia: 1300 789 978
Thank you for tuning in to this episode. We hope it gives you clarity and confidence to take the next steps in your journey. Don’t forget to check out our course for step-by-step guidance and support through every stage of your divorce. If you found this episode helpful, please rate, review, and subscribe. Stay strong, and remember—you’ve got this.
Disclaimer: This podcast episode provides general legal education for Australians and is not a substitute for legal advice. Every situation is unique, and it’s important to seek independent legal advice tailored to your circumstances.
00:00 Introduction to the 7 Steps from Separation to Settlement
01:34 How to Make the Decision to Separate
03:36 Can you Be Separated Under One Roof in Divorce
06:51 How to find out Your Legal Rights and Obligations in Divorce
10:46 How to Divide Assets, Property, and Debt in Divorce
14:44 How to Create Parenting Plans and Arrangements
19:24 How to Navigate Legal Paperwork and Mediation in Divorce
20:57 How to learn about Divorce Applications and Time Limits
22:35 How to avoid the Emotional Rollercoaster of Divorce
23:48 How to get Empowerment Through Knowledge and Support in Divorce
27:28 How to Move Forward After Divorce
33:29 How to Join Our Supportive Divorce Community
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BONUS mini episode: Divorce is a challenging journey, and there are so many things we wish we’d known before starting out. In this special episode, I share three key insights I learned along the way—insights that could save you time, stress, and money. From setting firm boundaries to creating a clear plan and building a strong support system, these lessons are invaluable for anyone facing separation or divorce.
And there’s more! Next week, we’re hosting a free, live webinar designed to support you wherever you are in your divorce journey. This session will cover everything from practical advice on setting boundaries and protecting your finances to tips for handling high-conflict communication. Join us for actionable insights and a live Q&A session with my mum, a family law expert. Webinar registration link https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/divorcewebinarregistration
Listen to This Episode If You:🌟 Are beginning your divorce journey and need a roadmap to help guide your decisions.
❓ Want to hear practical, first-hand tips from someone who’s been through it.
💡 Need insights on handling emotional and financial boundaries during divorce.
🛡 Are curious about what our free webinar will cover and how it can help you.
📚 Want to learn how to build a strong support system to get through challenging times.
Key Ideas Discussed in This Episode:Setting Firm Boundaries: The importance of defining clear emotional and practical boundaries.
Creating a Plan: How having a roadmap can help you feel more in control and prepared.
Building a Support System: Why having friends, family, or a professional by your side is invaluable.
DIVORCE Webinar Details: What to expect from our upcoming live webinar, including actionable insights and a live Q&A with a family law specialist.
Webinar Highlights:Topics Covered: Boundaries, financial protection, handling high-conflict communication, and more.
Live Q&A: Ask your specific questions and receive advice from a family law expert.
Privacy Guaranteed: Participate as much or as little as you like in a safe, confidential space.
Limited Spots: Click the link in our show notes or visit thedivorcecourse.com.au to save your seat!
Emergency Contacts:WOMEN'S SHELTER SERVICE
LEGAL AID
Lifeline: 13 11 14
Mensline Australia: 1300 789 978
Kids Help Line: 1800 551 800
Aboriginal Family Domestic Violence Hotline: 1800 019 123
Relationships Australia
Police: 000
DVConnect Womensline: 1800 811 811 (24 hours, 7 days a week)
DV Connect Mensline: 1800 600 636
National DV line: 1800 737 732 (1800 RESPECT)
Thank you for tuning in to this episode! We hope these insights make your journey a little easier and empower you to take control of the process. And remember, don’t miss out on our final free webinar of the year next week—it’s an incredible opportunity to learn, ask questions, and find support. See you there!
Disclaimer: This podcast episode provides general legal education for Australians and is not a substitute for legal advice. Every situation is unique, and it’s important to seek independent legal advice tailored to your circumstances.
00:00 Introduction and Setting Expectations
00:03 Three Things I Wish I Knew Before Divorce
00:17 Importance of Setting Boundaries with your ex
00:31 Having a Plan when going through the divorce process
00:52 Power of a Support System when facing divorce
01:08 Exciting Divorce Webinar Announcement
01:15 Webinar Details and Benefits
02:05 Addressing Concerns and Privacy
03:07 Final Thoughts and How to Register
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If you’ve ever felt that your ex is using the legal system to keep you trapped or that you’re facing ongoing harassment, this episode provides the support and strategies you need.
Divorce may mean separation, but sometimes, for those dealing with high-conflict exes, the abuse continues well after the split. In this episode, we discuss five key strategies to manage and escape post-separation abuse purgatory. From court misuse to constant control tactics, this episode offers crucial help for protecting yourself legally, emotionally, and financially.
Listen to This Episode If You:
🌟 Are experiencing legal harassment or ongoing control tactics post-divorce.
❓ Want to know how to protect yourself from manipulative use of the court system.
💡 Need strategies for setting firm boundaries against a high-conflict ex.
🛡 Are navigating the court process with an ex who refuses to cooperate on settlements.
📚 Want insights on how recent Family Law changes impact post-separation dynamics.
Key Ideas Discussed in This Episode:
Understanding Post-Separation Abuse: What it is, how it manifests, and why it’s so pervasive.
Central Practice Directions: How this court directive aims to reduce misuse of the legal system.
Section 117C Offers: Leveraging financial penalties to discourage frivolous court actions.
Legal Documentation: Keeping a record of your ex’s actions and the importance of filing timelines.
Emotional Boundaries: Techniques to mentally distance yourself from ongoing harassment.
Disclaimer: This podcast episode provides general discussion for Australians and is not a substitute for legal advice in any way at all. Every situation is unique, and it’s important to seek personalised legal advice tailored to your circumstances.
When Divorce isn't the End: Handling Legal & Post-Separation Abuse
Related Episodes that may be helpful:
Post Separation Abuse Wheel Episode https://youtu.be/YALj5wsoe6k?si=OZp5WhOwyR7Omkyf
How to divorce a statue https://youtu.be/tM75QvgjM_0?si=9tAnY9EXLu7JjcOS
Family Court Vs Settling https://youtu.be/gYpW3znoY28?si=NvrUKsGVIlMt8WNC
When your ex files in court - response to initiating application https://youtu.be/qTHDgWTjF1A?si=rETvrOrpMKf_IwzZ
Navigating Community Legal Services https://youtu.be/4sEUhu6r07Q?si=Qjla_vk0NAZ2eS_U
Decoding a word salad letter like a lawyer https://youtu.be/k0AhA3MIjM0?si=onpRY7wU7DTeC63Q
Free Resources & Links:
CENTRAL PRACTICE DIRECTIONS https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au/fl/pd/fam-cpd
Section 117c of the Family Law Act https://classic.austlii.edu.au/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/s117c.html
Free Webinar registration link https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/divorcewebinarregistration
Emergency Contacts:
WOMEN'S SHELTER SERVICE
LEGAL AID
Lifeline: 13 11 14
Mensline Australia: 1300 789 978
Kids Help Line: 1800 551 800
Aboriginal Family Domestic Violence Hotline: 1800 019 123
Relationships Australia
Police: 000
DVConnect Womensline: 1800 811 811 (24 hours, 7 days a week)
DV Connect Mensline: 1800 600 636
National DV line: 1800 737 732 (1800 RESPECT)
Thank you for tuning in to this episode on managing post-separation abuse. We hope these strategies offer you the tools and confidence to protect yourself and find peace beyond the courtroom. If you found this episode helpful, please rate, review, and subscribe. Every rating helps others find support during difficult transitions. Stay strong and take care.
Disclaimer: This podcast episode provides general discussion for Australians and is not a substitute for legal advice in any way at all. Every situation is unique, and it’s important to seek personalised legal advice tailored to your circumstances.
00:00 Introduction to Post Separation Abuse
00:23 Trigger Warnings and Support Resources
01:06 Podcast Introduction and Goals
01:26 Understanding Post Separation Abuse
03:26 Legal Protections: Central Practice Direction
11:56 Legal Protections: Section 117C
16:40 Taking Legal Action: Going to Court
22:41 New Legal Measures: Harmful Proceedings
23:12 Register Today!
23:22 Understanding Harmful Proceedings
24:20 Court's Role in Handling Harmful Litigants
27:56 Strategies for Dealing with Legal Abuse
33:04 Building Emotional Resilience
37:55 Support and Resources
38:52 Listener Feedback and Conclusion
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When going through a divorce or de facto separation, one of the biggest questions you’ll face is: Should I settle, or should I go to court? In this episode, we take an in depth look into the reasons why people choose to settle and why others decide to hold out for court. We discuss the risks, costs, and personal factors that play into this decision, while also highlighting potential pitfalls and traps that could influence you to settle too early or too late. Whether you’re in the early stages of property settlement or nearing mediation, this episode will help you think critically about your own situation.
Listen to This Episode If You:🌟 Wish you could speak to others about their decisions to settle or go to court.
❓ Want to understand the risks and costs involved in going to court versus settling.
💡 Need insights on how to others have avoided settling for a bad offers or been pressured into an agreements.
🛡 Are navigating a high-conflict divorce and worried about making the right financial decisions and want to listen to what others have done in the past.
📚 Want to better understand how lawyers play a role in helping you decide when to settle.
Key Ideas Discussed in This Episode:Reasons to Settle: When taking your lawyer’s advice, financial risks, and emotional well-being make settling the best option.
Risks of Going to Court: The potential for additional costs, including paying for your ex’s legal fees, and how this can impact your decision.
Understanding Costs: How court costs and lawyer fees add up, and why it’s crucial to factor in these expenses when making your decision.
Section 117 Offers: What they are, how they work, and why you should think carefully before rejecting a reasonable offer.
Emotional Factors: How guilt, pressure, or anger can cloud judgement and lead to poor settlement decisions.
Disclosure Issues: Why it’s essential to have financial disclosure before settling and how to handle situations where your ex isn't sharing all the information.
Post-Separation Abuse: How ongoing manipulation and control can affect your or their decision to settle, and strategies to protect yourself from further harm.
Links & Resources Mentioned in the Podcast:Related Episodes:
Understanding Legal Costs and Risks COSTS & CALDERBANK OFFERS
https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog/costscourtcalderbankoffer
Divorce Myths
https://open.spotify.com/episode/33mBdotbKK4yLH586ZaWko?si=czer_l9VRIOVWxWxGSiJjg
The Premature Pitfalls of Percentage Negotiations
https://open.spotify.com/episode/6bxTgrdymCeW16Q7z5njUe?si=UPG5F5vtSNuHWCKwWWg32g
Choosing your lawyer
https://open.spotify.com/episode/0XQOMoxqaSpf5YrxTc50eR?si=KUq4BzFPQaeIndch9p-3QA
Red Flags when choosing a lawyer
https://open.spotify.com/episode/6fR3jP75Z4amMlRCsEOAhJ?si=66f50b888bb44784
Emergency Contacts:WOMEN'S SHELTER SERVICE
LEGAL AID
Lifeline: 13 11 14
Mensline Australia: 1300 789 978
Kids Help Line: 1800 551 800
Aboriginal Family Domestic Violence Hotline: 1800 019 123
Relationships Australia
Police: 000
DVConnect Womensline: 1800 811 811 (24 hours, 7 days a week)
DV Connect Mensline: 1800 600 636
National DV line: 1800 737 732 (1800 RESPECT)
Thank you for listening to this episode. We hope it helps you think critically about when to settle and when to go to court, while also providing the knowledge you need to protect yourself during your divorce journey. If you found this episode helpful, please rate, review, and subscribe. Your support helps others find the guidance they need. Stay strong and take care.
Disclaimer: This podcast episode provides general legal education for Australians and is not a substitute for legal advice. Every situation is different, and it is important to seek independent legal advice tailored to your specific circumstances.
00:00 Introduction to Settling in Divorce
01:43 Understanding the Role of Lawyers in Settling
06:00 Cost-Benefit Analysis in Court Cases
10:21 Risks of Going to Family Court
16:25 Bad Reasons for Settling
19:52 Navigating Emotional Decisions in Divorce
20:30 Reasons People Settle in Divorce
21:34 Understanding the Family Law Act in your Divorce
22:49 Challenges with Disclosure in Property Settlement and Divorce
25:27 Unrealistic Expectations in Divorce outcomes
29:24 Dealing with Anger and Abuse during the divorce process
32:05 Denial and Acceptance in Divorce
34:26 Final Thoughts
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This is a legal and emotional boundary check episode for you where we discuss 10 critical legal and emotional boundaries that are essential to maintain during this process. From communication and financial boundaries to setting clear limits on social media and handling high-conflict exes, this episode is packed with practical tips to help protect your emotional well-being and legal standing. Whether you're in the early stages of divorce or deep into the process, setting boundaries is crucial for navigating the journey with more clarity and peace of mind.
Listen to This Episode If You:
🌟 Are dealing with communication challenges with your ex and need to set boundaries.
❓ Want to understand the importance of legal boundaries, such as avoiding pressure to sign documents.
💡 Are struggling with emotional boundaries and need tips on protecting your mental health.
🛡 Are co-parenting and need strategies for managing handovers or avoiding conflict.
📚 Want to learn how to set clear financial boundaries to protect your income and assets.
Disclaimer: This podcast episode provides general legal education and is not a substitute for legal advice. Every situation is different, and it is important to seek independent legal advice tailored to your specific circumstances and your country.
Key Ideas Discussed in This Episode:
Communication Boundaries: How to manage communication with your ex, especially in high-conflict situations.
Task Boundaries: Why it's important to divide responsibilities post-separation and avoid falling into old habits.
Digital Boundaries: Protecting your privacy online, managing social media, and securing your email and iCloud accounts.
Living Boundaries: Setting clear rules if you're still living under the same roof or need to protect your space post-separation.
Financial Boundaries: The importance of separating accounts, handling child support, and protecting your finances from coercive control.
Legal Boundaries: How to avoid being pressured into signing agreements and managing legal deadlines.
Emotional Boundaries: Finding ways to protect your mental health and limiting the emotional toll of the divorce process.
Physical Boundaries: Strategies for handling custody handovers and protecting your safety with restraining orders, if necessary.
Family and Friend Boundaries: Setting limits on how involved your family and friends are in your divorce, while maintaining support.
Children’s Boundaries: Keeping your kids out of adult matters and ensuring they are not used as messengers or spies.
Links & Resources Mentioned in the Podcast:
Related Episodes:
The Pitfalls of Percentage Arguements https://open.spotify.com/episode/6bxTgrdymCeW16Q7z5njUe?si=Bl0w1opYQHKk6UVHSZr6Qg Co-Parenting & Communication with Our Children Creator https://open.spotify.com/episode/3Nz2etsYgdMVym8BdcaLwE?si=O7mqw42aT6GZVF58tBopBw Separated Under One Roof Do’s & Don’ts https://open.spotify.com/episode/2IXSOZ8vVadbcrq10DuxG0?si=_bVJyhtBS5edyJhjf10H1A What about their stuff dealing with your ex’s belongings in Divorce https://open.spotify.com/episode/2bPd3wWLQh3pzQmL2KCR0v?si=nqVtorlkTxq39fRZbm0L1g Overcoming Sleep Struggles during divorce https://open.spotify.com/episode/6klNAJWd2vMAl0LWJq8XCC?si=o0seCI1IQK-od5eAevRXcA When amicable goes wrong https://open.spotify.com/episode/1aK3dni8maqPLOx9vKQDG4?si=IFa7dV5yTkyw76LUXFf0Aw Power Dynamics Balancing Power and Progress https://open.spotify.com/episode/5I3WfPNkXncss2EI5jJwD1?si=S-8buOZNRa2wu2DW--0-JQ Financial Fairness in Divorce https://open.spotify.com/episode/3S73M140m759WcOrrKms2k?si=YzpyqEpPT4iJ8EWeLbyuXg Disclosure https://open.spotify.com/episode/07olqt4NN0MQQ0Y5KiHkP2?si=ojEdwxpgSWyg2pBb3EhWRA Handover Hell https://open.spotify.com/episode/6Pskjns3vZkLyv9FCefvxm?si=pfZ4ctZbS1CsjWJdoHifgw Navigating Parental Trash Talk https://open.spotify.com/episode/7bxqn5I6B1HCzO9r0zKnxY?si=kP__OnksRxivMCK8k8bMbw
Links to other things https://www.ourfamilywizard.com.au/ https://www.ourchildren.com.au/Emergency Contacts:
WOMEN'S SHELTER SERVICE
LEGAL AID
Lifeline: 13 11 14
Mensline Australia: 1300 789 978
Kids Help Line: 1800 551 800
Aboriginal Family Domestic Violence Hotline: 1800 019 123
Relationships Australia
Police: 000
DVConnect Womensline: 1800 811 811 (24 hours, 7 days a week)
DV Connect Mensline: 1800 600 636
National DV line: 1800 737 732 (1800 RESPECT)
Thank you for tuning in to this episode about managing your income, expenses, and savings during the separation period. We hope this episode provides the knowledge and tools you need to protect yourself during the often tricky period before property settlement. If you found this episode helpful, please rate, review, and subscribe. Your support helps others find the guidance they need. Stay strong and take care.
Disclaimer: This podcast episode provides general legal education for Australians and is not a substitute for legal advice. Every situation is different, and it is important to seek independent legal advice tailored to your specific circumstances.
00:00 Introduction to Divorce Boundaries 02:41 Communication Boundaries 06:55 Task Boundaries 09:25 Digital Boundaries 15:28 Living Boundaries 18:59 Financial Boundaries 25:06 Managing Child Support and Private Agreements 26:51 Setting Legal Boundaries 30:20 Creating Emotional Boundaries 33:12 Establishing Custody and Restraining Orders 36:48 Navigating Family and Friendship Boundaries 43:29 Summary and Final Thoughts -
What happens to your income, expenses and savings in the time between breaking up and official separation and getting final property orders? In this episode we take a look into what happens to your income, expenses, and savings during this in-between period. We discuss how the Family Court of Australia usually treats savings, the importance of documenting expenses, and how your wages may be considered.
Whether you’re squirrelling away savings, managing a joint account, or figuring out how to navigate expenses after separation, this episode provides crucial insights to help you protect yourself during property settlements. They also tackle the concept of "ad backs" and when they might apply. Please note that this is a general discussion and everyone’s situation is different so please do not make any legal decisions based on this podcast discussion, always see a lawyer who knows the full facts of your case before making any decisions.
Listen to This Episode If You:
🌟 Are confused about how savings are treated during the divorce process.
❓ Want to know how to manage expenses and income between separation and property settlement.
💡 Need to understand what happens to wages after separation.
🛡 Are unsure about how to protect yourself from your ex draining joint accounts or going on spending sprees.
📚 Want to learn how to document expenses and safeguard your assets in case of high-conflict situations.
Key Ideas Discussed in This Episode:
Savings and Property Settlements: How savings accumulated between separation and final property orders are sometimes handled.
Income and Wages Post-Separation: What can happen to your wages after separation and why it’s sometimes crucial to separate your accounts.
Reasonable Expenses: What the family court may consider as reasonable expenses during this period, from bills to childcare and beyond.
Ad Backs Explained: Understanding what an "ad back" is and how it might affect your settlement if your ex has spent joint money.
Documentation Is Key: The importance of tracking and documenting all financial transactions during the divorce process.
Handling Joint Accounts: Ways to protect yourself from joint accounts being drained and what you can do if this happens.
High-Conflict Tips: Strategies for protecting yourself financially when your ex is manipulative or controlling. Links & Resources Mentioned in the Podcast:
Related Episodes: Navigating the Mortgage Minefield in Divorce https://open.spotify.com/episode/4wPp... Help My Ex is spending all the money https://open.spotify.com/episode/32WS... Record Keeping: Protecting Yourself https://open.spotify.com/episode/4tNr... Protecting yourself from Darvo https://open.spotify.com/episode/0Jyf... Debt Episode https://open.spotify.com/episode/074h...
Free Resources: Go to www.thedivorcecourse.com.au
Emergency Contacts: WOMEN'S SHELTER SERVICE LEGAL AID Lifeline: 13 11 14 Mensline Australia: 1300 789 978 Kids Help Line: 1800 551 800 Aboriginal Family Domestic Violence Hotline: 1800 019 123 Relationships Australia Police: 000 DVConnect Womensline: 1800 811 811 (24 hours, 7 days a week) DV Connect Mensline: 1800 600 636 National DV line: 1800 737 732 (1800 RESPECT)
Thank you for tuning in to this episode about managing your income, expenses, and savings during the separation period. We hope this episode provides the knowledge and tools you need to protect yourself during the often tricky period before property settlement. If you found this episode helpful, please rate, review, and subscribe. Your support helps others find the guidance they need. Stay strong and take care. Disclaimer: This podcast episode provides general legal education for Australians and is not a substitute for legal advice. Every situation is different, and it is important to seek independent legal advice tailored to your specific circumstances.
00:00 Introduction to Divorce & Money 01:31 Understanding Savings During Separation 03:08 Expenses and Their Impact on Property Settlement 06:04 The Concept of Ad Backs in Divorce 16:27 Managing Wages and Income Post-Separation 20:46 Understanding Financial Responsibilities Post-Separation 22:34 The Importance of Documentation and Mediation 24:21 Strategies for Managing Financial Manipulation 29:28 Navigating Government Support and Property Pools 32:45 The Role of Reasonable Living Expenses in Settlements 34:54 Proactive Steps for Financial Security 38:50 Final Thoughts
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Do you ever wish you had a time machine to go back and give yourself advice before starting your divorce journey? In this episode, we share valuable insights and tips from listeners who have gone through it all. Together, we will break down some of the most important things people wish they had known before starting the process, from not rushing into decisions to custody issues. They also discuss some of the key mistakes to avoid, especially in high-conflict or narcissistic divorces. Whether you’re just starting out or deep into the process, this episode will offer practical advice to help guide you through your divorce with more confidence and clarity.
Listen to This Episode If You:
❓ Wonder how to gather the right information and evidence to protect yourself.
💡 Need to understand the importance of not rushing into decisions or being pressured by others.
🛡 Are navigating a high-conflict divorce and need strategies to protect yourself from manipulation.
📚 Want to learn how to create a strategy and stay organized during the divorce process.
🌟 Are at the beginning of your divorce and want advice on how to avoid common mistakes.
Key Ideas Discussed in This Episode:
Don’t Rush: Take your time to gather all your information before making any major decisions. Avoid being pressured into rushing through the process.
Collect and Organise Your Information: Get all your documents and information together before starting the legal process to avoid mistakes and delays.
Parenting Plans: Don’t force your children into uncomfortable situations—especially when the other parent may not be interested in the relationship.
Look Out for Hidden Assets: Learn how to identify secret bank accounts and other financial manipulations that may arise during a divorce.
Get a Lawyer Who Understands Narcissistic Behaviour: Make sure your lawyer knows how to handle high-conflict individuals who use manipulative tactics.
Court Orders for Sole Occupancy: Understand how to get your ex out of the house if needed, and the risks involved.
Don’t Settle Too Quickly: Take your time to evaluate any settlement offers and don’t let anyone pressure you into accepting less than what is fair.
Protect Your Mental Health: Treat the divorce process like a part-time job—don’t let it consume your entire life.
Links & Resources Mentioned in the Podcast:
Related Episodes:
How to Document Coercive Control - Communicating Coercive Control in Documents / Ep. 161
Record Keeping: Protecting Yourself
https://open.spotify.com/episode/4tNrLiwyDO07jnbzNVxe4m?si=OPR9iwTzQKOKc2HOHvcH-Q
Divorce Delay Tactics https://open.spotify.com/episode/2st3qxvJByN981xqZgPRIR?si=l0LL9935S0GAQ6Wx2qJhIg
Disclosure Dilemas Overcoming Disclosure Dilemmas: Your Path to Divorce Victory / Ep. 148
Divorce Budgeting 101: Understanding Legal Fees & Six Simple Saving Strategies / Ep. 119
Free Resources:
Property Settlement Checklist www.thedivorcecourse.com.au
Divorce Documentation Guide www.thedivorcecourse.com.au
Emergency Contacts:
WOMEN'S SHELTER SERVICE
LEGAL AID
Lifeline: 13 11 14
Mensline Australia: 1300 789 978
Kids Help Line: 1800 551 800
Aboriginal Family Domestic Violence Hotline: 1800 019 123
Relationships Australia
Police: 000
DVConnect Womensline: 1800 811 811 (24 hours, 7 days a week)
DV Connect Mensline: 1800 600 636
National DV line: 1800 737 732 (1800 RESPECT)
Thank you for listening to this episode. We hope these listener-shared insights and practical advice will help guide you through your divorce journey. Remember, you are not alone, and taking the time to understand and plan will make all the difference. If you found this episode helpful, please rate, review, and subscribe. Stay strong and take care.
Disclaimer: This podcast episode provides general legal education for Australians and is not a substitute for legal advice. Every situation is different, and it is important to seek independent legal advice tailored to your specific circumstances.
Contents of this Video
00:00 Introduction: Navigating Divorce
01:25 Key Tip: Don't Rush
02:43 Gathering Information: Collate Your Documents
04:00 Children and Visitation and Custody: Complexities and Considerations
05:38 Property Settlement Financial Precautions: Secret Bank Accounts and Abuse
08:22 Legal Strategies: Understanding Narcissistic Tactics
08:56 Court Orders: Sole Occupancy and Safety Concerns
10:50 Disclosure Challenges: Waiting for Information
12:33 Settlement Tips: Don't Settle for Less
15:14 Emotional Toll: The Full-Time Job of Divorce
20:24 Free Resources for Mediation and Negotiation
21:03 Is the System Child-Centred?
23:40 Dealing with Nasty In-Laws
27:03 Family Court Legal Costs and Settlements
29:34 Importance of Family Violence Protection Orders
34:46 Managing Expectations and Seeking Support in Divorce
38:16 Final Thoughts and Farewell
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Listen to This Episode If You:
🌟 Are navigating a parenting plan or consent or court orders for children at different stages of development.
❓ Want to understand how the court views plans for babies and the differing age groups all the way to teenagers.
💡 Are trying to figure out how to create a flexible and adaptable parenting plan as your child grows.
🛡 Are dealing with high-conflict ex-partners and need strategies to protect your child's best interests.
📚 Want to learn more about how to handle special situations like breastfeeding, car seats, and school-related issues.
Are you overwhelmed by trying to come up with a fair parenting plan or consent order offer after separation or divorce? Wondering what will happen as they get older, or struggling to figure out what is what when it comes to the different age groups—toddlers, tweens, and teens and everything in-between. In this episode, we discuss the unique challenges and considerations for each stage of your child’s development when creating parenting plans and consent orders or asking for court orders. We discuss topics like the primary attachment theory for babies, navigating parenting plans for young children, and managing the evolving needs of primary school-aged kids and figuring out what to do with stubborn teenagers. Whether you’re in the early stages of separation or dealing with an ongoing custody battle, this episode provides valuable insights on how to approach parenting plans that truly serve the best interests of your children.
Key Ideas Discussed in This Episode:
Primary Attachment for Babies: Why babies up to three years old typically benefit from staying with their primary caregiver, and how this impacts parenting plans and court orders. Navigating Consent Orders: How to create orders that take into account the evolving needs of your children as they grow from toddlers to teens. Transitioning to Overnights: Strategies for gradually increasing parenting time and handling situations where the non-primary caregiver hasn’t been involved. Primary School Age Considerations: Managing custody and parenting plans as children start school, including logistical challenges like packing bags and attending social events. Teenagers and Flexibility: How to adapt parenting plans for teens who want more independence, and what happens when they refuse to follow the existing custody arrangements. High-Conflict Co-Parenting: Dealing with manipulative and controlling ex-partners, and tips for creating clear, enforceable orders to protect your child’s well-being. Navigating Changing Court Views: Understanding the recent changes in the Family Law Act and how it affects shared parental responsibility and 50/50 time. Free Resources: https://www.judcom.nsw.gov.au/publications/benchbks/children/cpm_allerton_attachment.htmlhttps://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/divorcewebinarregistration (webinar)
https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/opt-in (before you go checklist)
https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/opt-in-4ab0c1ab-f43e-4db3-b49b-43c865aa8b1d (mediation checklist)
https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/disclosurechecklist (disclosure checklist)Podcast Episode Timeline
00:00 Introduction to Parenting Plans
01:08 Understanding Parenting Plans for Babies
03:53 Challenges with Parenting Plans for Babies
13:56 Parenting Plans for Primary School Kids
17:56 Common Issues with Primary School Kids
21:56 Navigating Parenting Plans for Teens
22:55 Planning for Your Child's Future
23:41 Teenagers and Court Orders
24:13 Navigating Parental Breaches
25:44 Resources for Mediation and Disclosure
26:27 Mental Health and Teen Independence
27:32 Pressure on Children in Custody Cases
30:06 Handling Avoidant Parents
33:03 Dealing with High-Conflict Exes
33:51 The Importance of Detailed Orders
35:23 Co-Parenting with Manipulative Exes
38:13 Final Thoughts and Encouragement
Emergency Contacts: WOMEN'S SHELTER SERVICE LEGAL AID Lifeline: 13 11 14 Mensline Australia: 1300 789 978 Kids Help Line: 1800 551 800 Aboriginal Family Domestic Violence Hotline: 1800 019 123 Relationships Australia Police: 000 DVConnect Womensline: 1800 811 811 (24 hours, 7 days a week) DV Connect Mensline: 1800 600 636 National DV line: 1800 737 732 (1800 RESPECT) Thank you for tuning in to this episode on navigating parenting plans through various stages of your child’s life. We hope you find the advice helpful in creating a plan that truly meets the needs of your children, regardless of their age. If you found this episode valuable, please rate, review, and subscribe. Your support helps others find the guidance they need. Stay strong and take care. Disclaimer: This podcast episode provides general legal education for Australians and is not a substitute for legal advice. Every situation is different, and it is important to seek independent legal advice tailored to your specific circumstances. -
When going through a divorce and dividing assets, there's an essential factor that many people overlook or have no idea about: future needs. In this episode, we discuss what "future needs" mean in family law in Australia, how they are considered by the court, and how they can significantly affect the division of property. From your health and age to your earning capacity and children’s future, understanding these factors is crucial for a fair property settlement. We also touch on the future needs factors outlined in Section 75(2) of the Family Law Act and discuss how to navigate property settlements both inside and outside of court based on the four divorce personalities, high conflict, manipulative and controlling (narcissistic types), amicable and avoidant.
Listen to This Episode If You:
🌟 Are in the process of a property settlement and need to understand what "future needs" mean.
❓ Want to explore how the court factors in age, health, earning capacity, and other personal circumstances.
💡 Are looking to understand how future needs affect property division in both marriages and de facto relationships.
🛡 Want to learn how to protect your interests in property settlements, especially if you have children or a lower income.
📚 Are curious about the impact of future needs when dividing property amicably or through mediation.
Key Ideas Discussed in This Episode:
What Are Future Needs?: Explanation of how the court considers future needs when dividing property.
Section 75(2) Factors: A breakdown of the 17 key factors listed in this section of the Family Law Act.
Health and Age: How your current health or age could influence your property settlement.
Earning Capacity: What happens if one partner earns significantly more or has greater financial resources.
Children and Their Needs: How the care of children under 18 can affect property division.
Impact of the Length of Marriage: How a long marriage can affect property division, especially if one spouse’s career supported the other.
Practical Tips for negotiating these factors amicably, as well as what happens if the case ends up in court.
Links & Resources Mentioned in the Podcast:
Related Episodes:https://link.chtbl.com/DivorceEpisode139 (Splitting Silver Hairs : A guide to grey divorce)
https://link.chtbl.com/divorcepodcastfiftyeight (When an Amicable Divorce goes wrong and what you can do about it in your Property Settlement and Parenting Agreement)
https://link.chtbl.com/DivorceEpisode124 (Gold Diggers in Divorce: Strategies TO PROTECT YOUR ASSETS FROM A NON CONTRIBUTING EX)
https://link.chtbl.com/DivorceEpisode125 (when you mediation goes wrong and what to do next in your divorce, custody or property negotiations)
Other Resources: THE DIVORCE COURSE www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/enrol Emergency Contacts: WOMEN'S SHELTER SERVICE LEGAL AID Lifeline: 13 11 14 Mensline Australia: 1300 789 978 Kids Help Line: 1800 551 800 Aboriginal Family Domestic Violence Hotline: 1800 019 123 Relationships Australia Police: 000 DVConnect Womensline: 1800 811 811 (24 hours, 7 days a week) DV Connect Mensline: 1800 600 636 National DV line: 1800 737 732 (1800 RESPECT)Thank you for tuning in to this informative episode on future needs in property settlements. Whether you’re navigating these factors in mediation or preparing for court, understanding the role of future needs is crucial to achieving a just and equitable outcome. If you found this episode helpful, please rate, review, and subscribe. Your support helps others find the guidance they need. Stay strong and take care.
Disclaimer: This podcast episode provides general legal education for Australians and is not a substitute for legal advice. Every situation is different, and it is important to seek independent legal advice tailored to your specific circumstances.
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Are you wondering if you really need a lawyer for mediation or family dispute resolution? In this episode, we discuss the ins and outs of mediation and whether you really need a lawyer by your side. Explore the different types of meditations, the pros and cons of having legal representation, and pick up some helpful tips for those on a tight budget who may not be able to afford a lawyer. If you're wondering how to approach mediation in your divorce journey—whether it’s about property settlements or children's matters—this episode will provide valuable insights to help you make a decision.
Listen to This Episode If You: 🌟 Are considering mediation but unsure if you need a lawyer. ❓ Want to know what happens during mediation and the role a lawyer plays. 💡 Need strategies for navigating mediation on your own or with minimal legal assistance. 🛡 Want to weigh the pros and cons of bringing legal support to your mediation. 📚 Are on a tight budget and looking for ways to handle mediation cost-effectively. Key Ideas Discussed in This Episode: Types of Mediation: The different stages of mediation, from initial discussions to court-appointed mediation. Do You Need a Lawyer?: The advantages and disadvantages of having a lawyer during mediation. Cost Considerations: How to handle mediation if you’re on a tight budget and can’t afford legal representation. Mediation Preparation: Tips on how to prepare for mediation and what documents to gather. Self-Representation: How to navigate mediation without a lawyer, including understanding the process and legal expectations. High Conflict vs. Amicable Mediation: How the nature of your relationship with your ex can impact whether or not you need a lawyer present. Settler’s Remorse: What happens if you agree to something in mediation and regret it later, and how to avoid this. Links & Resources Mentioned in the Podcast: Related Episodes:https://link.chtbl.com/DivorceEpisode166 (Understanding Legal Gatekeeping: Is Your Lawyer Telling Your Full Story in Divorce?)
https://link.chtbl.com/divorceepisodefour (How to negotiate an agreement after divorce.)
https://link.chtbl.com/divorcepodcasttwentytwo (Convincing the unconvincible in divorce negotiations for family law0
https://link.chtbl.com/divorcepodcastfiftyfour (FDR, Conciliation Conference & Mediation: the what, how, when, who, why of your family dispute resolution)
https://link.chtbl.com/divorcepodcasteightyone (10 things that could happen legally and emotionally after mediation (in the family court or privatley)
https://link.chtbl.com/divorcepodcastonehundredtwo (What Is Mediation & Am I Ready For It? Navigating mediation during your divorce or de facto separation.)
https://link.chtbl.com/divorcepodcastninetythree (Can you really mediate with a narcissist? Mediation and negotiation tips for divorcing an ex with narcissistic behaviours.)
https://link.chtbl.com/DivorceEpisode125 (when you mediation goes wrong and what to do next in your divorce, custody or property negotiations)
https://link.chtbl.com/DivorceEpisode136 (The real deal with mediation: dispelling 5 myths)
Free Resources: Mediation Checklist (Available on our website) www.thedivorcecourse.com.auWebinars and Courses:
DIY Divorce Blueprint www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/enrol Webinars on Navigating Divorce www.thedivorcecourse.com.au https://www.patreon.com/TheDivorceCoursePodcast Emergency Contacts: WOMEN'S SHELTER SERVICE LEGAL AID Lifeline: 13 11 14 Mensline Australia: 1300 789 978 Kids Help Line: 1800 551 800 Aboriginal Family Domestic Violence Hotline: 1800 019 123 Relationships Australia Police: 000 DVConnect Womensline: 1800 811 811 (24 hours, 7 days a week) DV Connect Mensline: 1800 600 636 National DV line: 1800 737 732 (1800 RESPECT)Thank you for tuning in to this episode on mediation and legal representation. Remember, your situation is unique, and weighing the pros and cons is crucial to making the right decision. If you found this episode helpful, please rate, review, and subscribe. Your support helps others find the help they need. Stay strong and take care.
Disclaimer: This podcast episode provides general legal education for Australians and is not a substitute for legal advice. Every situation is different, and it is important to seek independent legal advice tailored to your specific circumstances.
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The DARVO method—Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender—is a tactic often employed by narcissists in legal battles, particularly during divorce or family court cases. In this episode, we shed light on the DARVO strategy and share eight essential ways to protect yourself against it. Whether you’re facing family violence court, property settlement agreements, or a child custody battle, these insights will empower you to stay calm, gather evidence, and ensure your truth is heard. Disclaimer: This podcast episode provides general legal education for Australians and is not a substitute for legal advice. Every situation is different, and it is important to seek independent legal advice tailored to your specific circumstances. Listen to This Episode If You: 🌟 Are dealing with a narcissistic ex who might be the type to manipulate the narrative in court. ❓ Want to understand the DARVO method and how it impacts family court cases. 💡 Need strategies to counteract manipulation and lies in affidavits or legal documents. 🛡 Want to protect yourself from being gaslit and maintain your mental health. 📚 Are looking for ways to keep communication calm and factual during a contentious divorce. Key Ideas Discussed in This Episode: Understanding DARVO: What it means and how it shows up in legal battles. Importance of Written Communication: Why all communication should be documented via emails or apps. Respond, Don't React: Techniques for staying calm and responding thoughtfully instead of reacting emotionally. Gathering Evidence: How to collect and organise evidence to challenge false claims. Setting Firm Boundaries: The importance of setting clear boundaries to protect your mental health. Affidavit Strategies: How to stick to the facts and tell your story effectively in legal documents. Slow and Steady Wins the Race: Understanding that the truth will unfold over time with patience and perseverance. Links & Resources Mentioned in the Podcast:
Episodes for More Insight:
https://link.chtbl.com/divorcepodcasttwentyfive (Divorcing a narcissist: what to expect in the family law process and courts and how to prepare)
https://link.chtbl.com/divorcepodcastthirtythree (The Narcissist Playbook in Divorce)
https://link.chtbl.com/divorcepodcastfiftytwo (Co-parenting: How to successfully do it even with a high conflict, narcissistic controlling or avoidant ex partner.)
https://link.chtbl.com/divorcepodcastseventytoo (How To Use The Grey Rock Method in Divorce & Family Law Proceedings with a narcissistic ex)
https://link.chtbl.com/divorcepodcastseventyfive (Co parenting and family court with a Narcissist)
https://link.chtbl.com/divorcepodcastninetythree (Can you really mediate with a narcissist? Mediation and negotiation tips for divorcing an ex with narcissistic behaviours.)
https://link.chtbl.com/divorcepodcastninetyseven (The Post Separation Abuse Playbook and what you can do about it. Part 1)
Post-Separation Abuse: What You Need to Know
https://link.chtbl.com/divorcepodcastninetyeight (The Post Separation Abuse Playbook and what you can do about it. Part 2)
https://link.chtbl.com/divorceepisode113 (Why your narcissistic ex might want a parenting coordinator and what you can do about it)
https://link.chtbl.com/DivorceEpisode134 (Mind over matter: divorcing a narcissist)
https://link.chtbl.com/DivorceEpisode140 (The Narcissists’ Chess Board: Understanding The Divorce SLAY strategy
https://link.chtbl.com/divorcepodcastninety (A simple way to protect your children from being used as chess pieces in your divorce or de facto separation)
Webinars and Courses:
DIY Divorce Blueprint www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/enrol
Webinars on Navigating Divorce www.thedivorcecourse.com.au
https://www.patreon.com/TheDivorceCoursePodcast
* ARC App website https://download.arc-app.org.au/
* Empower You App https://www.police.nsw.gov.au/safety_and_prevention/policing_in_the_community/empower_you_app
Emergency Contacts:WOMEN'S SHELTER SERVICE
LEGAL AID
Lifeline: 13 11 14
Mensline Australia: 1300 789 978
Kids Help Line: 1800 551 800
Aboriginal Family Domestic Violence Hotline: 1800 019 123
Relationships Australia
Police: 000
DVConnect Womensline: 1800 811 811 (24 hours, 7 days a week)
DV Connect Mensline: 1800 600 636
National DV line: 1800 737 732 (1800 RESPECT)
Thank you for tuning in to this important episode on understanding and counteracting the DARVO strategy. Remember, you are not alone, and there are ways to protect yourself and ensure that the truth comes out. If you found this episode helpful, please rate, review, and subscribe. Your support helps others find the help they need. Stay strong and take care. Disclaimer: This podcast episode provides general legal education for Australians and is not a substitute for legal advice. Every situation is different, and it is important to seek independent legal advice tailored to your specific circumstances. -
Are you feeling like your lawyer isn't telling your full story? In this episode, Laura and Lynette dive into the issue of legal gatekeeping and how it can impact your divorce case. They discuss why it's crucial for your lawyer to present all the relevant facts, including those that might be uncomfortable or distressing about Family Violence or Coercive Control. With new property legislation potentially on the horizon in Australia, it's more important than ever to ensure your story is heard, whether it concerns property settlements or children's matters. Tune in to learn strategies for advocating for yourself and making sure your experiences are properly represented in court. Trigger Warning this could be distressing or triggering for victim survivors of family violence or coercive control.
Listen to This Episode If You:🌟 Feel like your lawyer is not presenting the full picture in your case.
❓ Are dealing with family violence or coercive control and want to know how it affects your legal proceedings.
💡 Need to understand the role of your lawyer versus the role of the judge in court.
🛡 Want to ensure that critical information about your case is not being withheld.
📚 Are interested in how upcoming legislation may change the way family violence is considered in property settlements.
Understanding Legal Gatekeeping: Is Your Lawyer Telling Your Full Story?
Key Ideas Discussed in This Episode:Understanding Gatekeeping: What it is and how it can affect your case.
The Role of Lawyers vs. Judges: Clarifying what each should be doing in the context of your story.
Importance of Telling Your Full Story: How withholding information can negatively impact court outcomes.
Legislation Update: A look at potential new laws in Australia that could affect property settlements involving family violence.
Kennan’s Case: How this landmark case impacts current family law and property settlements.
Strategies for Self-Advocacy: Tips on how to ensure your lawyer is representing all relevant facts.
Impact on Children: The importance of being upfront about family violence to protect and support your children.
Mediation and Legal Strategy: How to handle mediation and what to do if you're feeling pressured by your lawyer.
Links & Resources Mentioned in the Podcast:Episodes for More Insight:
The Pep Talk You Didn't Know You Needed
Choosing a Family Lawyer & the Red Flags not to ignore
Three ways to choose and use your family lawyer (that you probably haven’t heard of for your divorce.
Post-Separation Abuse: What You Need to Know
Using children as chess pieces in divorce
Webinars and Courses:
DIY Divorce Blueprint
Weekly Webinars on Navigating Divorce
https://www.patreon.com/TheDivorceCoursePodcast
Emergency Contacts:WOMEN'S SHELTER SERVICE
LEGAL AID
Lifeline: 13 11 14
Mensline Australia: 1300 789 978
Kids Help Line: 1800 551 800
Aboriginal Family Domestic Violence Hotline: 1800 019 123
Relationships Australia
Police: 000
DVConnect Womensline: 1800 811 811 (24 hours, 7 days a week)
DV Connect Mensline: 1800 600 636
National DV line: 1800 737 732 (1800 RESPECT)
Thank you for listening to this important episode on ensuring your story is fully represented in court. Remember, your experiences are valid, and the right legal representation can make all the difference. If this episode resonated with you, please rate, review, and subscribe. Your support helps others find the help they need. Stay strong and take care.
Disclaimer: This podcast episode provides general legal education for Australians and is not a substitute for legal advice. Every situation is different, and it is important to seek independent legal advice tailored to your specific circumstances
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In every divorce, there are two primary positions people find themselves in: sitting pretty or completely overstressed. In this episode, Laura and Lynette break down these common divorce dynamics and provide strategies to help you navigate whichever position you're in. Whether you're feeling trapped in a gilded cage with everything provided for you, or you're overwhelmed with stress, paying the bills, and managing all the responsibilities, this episode offers practical advice on how to shift the balance and move forward in your divorce journey.
Listen to This Episode If You:🌟 Feel like you're stuck in divorce limbo and don’t know how to move forward.
❓ Are overwhelmed with financial or emotional stress during your divorce.
💡 Need strategies to encourage your ex to engage in mediation or negotiation.
🛡 Are sitting comfortably but worried about what might happen if things change.
📚 Want to ensure you’re not being manipulated or controlled during the divorce process.
Key Ideas Discussed in This Episode:Sitting Pretty vs. Overstressed: Understanding the two primary positions in divorce dynamics.
The Gilded Cage: Recognizing when comfort is actually a trap and why it’s important to start planning your next steps.
Overcoming Financial Stress: Tips for managing overwhelming financial responsibilities and negotiating support.
Mediation Strategies: How to encourage your ex to come to the table and negotiate fairly.
The Impact on Kids: Why dragging out a divorce can harm children and how to avoid it.
Balancing the Scales: Practical steps to move from an overstressed position to a more balanced dynamic.
The Importance of Knowledge: How understanding your rights and the divorce process can protect you from manipulation.
Finding Incentives: Creating motivation for both parties to settle and move forward.
Links & Resources Mentioned in the Podcast:Related Episodes:
Divorce Limbo
Central Practice Directions
How to Engage in Mediation
Webinars and Courses:
THE Divorce Blueprint
Webinars on Navigating Divorce
https://www.patreon.com/TheDivorceCoursePodcast
Emergency Contacts:WOMEN'S SHELTER SERVICE
LEGAL AID
Lifeline: 13 11 14
Mensline Australia: 1300 789 978
Kids Help Line: 1800 551 800
Aboriginal Family Domestic Violence Hotline: 1800 019 123
Relationships Australia
Police: 000
DVConnect Womensline: 1800 811 811 (24 hours, 7 days a week)
DV Connect Mensline: 1800 600 636
National DV line: 1800 737 732 (1800 RESPECT)
Thank you for tuning in to this episode on navigating divorce dynamics. Whether you're sitting pretty or completely overstressed, understanding your position is the first step to moving forward. If you found this podcast helpful, please rate, review, and subscribe. Your feedback helps others find the support they need. Stay strong and take care.
Disclaimer: This podcast episode provides general legal education for Australians and is not a substitute for legal advice. Every situation is different, and it is important to seek independent legal advice tailored to your specific circumstances.
Episode 165 Divorce Dynamic: Balancing Power & Progress
Introduction to Divorce Dynamics
Understanding the 'Sitting Pretty' Position
Exploring the 'Overstressed' Position
Strategies for Financial Stress
Navigating Manipulative Tactics
The Role of Emotions in Divorce
Understanding Your Legal Rights
Navigating Separation and Living Arrangements
Emotional Preparedness and Counseling
Financial Preparations and Legal Timelines
The Importance of Mediation
Impact on Children and Family Dynamics
Taking Action and Seeking Help
Conclusion and Final Thoughts
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Divorce is often described as a journey, and just like any journey, it requires navigation tools to get to your destination successfully. In this episode, Laura and Lynette use the analogy of driving a car to discuss how to handle the emotional and practical challenges of divorce. They break down the five essential "tools" you need to navigate this journey: your handbrake, gas pedal, reverse, steering wheel, and road map. Whether you’re dealing with gaslighting, running out of steam, or simply trying to stay on course, this episode provides practical advice and emotional support to help you reach the other side of your divorce in the best shape possible.
Listen to This Episode If You:
🌟 Are struggling with self-doubt or gaslighting during your divorce.
❓ Need motivation to keep pushing forward through tough times.
💡 Want to avoid the pitfalls of overreacting or taking things too far.
🛡 Are looking for strategies to stay in control of your divorce process.
📚 Need guidance on how to map out your divorce journey effectively.
Key Ideas Discussed in This Episode:
The Handbrake: How to stop self-doubt and gaslighting from derailing your progress.
The Gas Pedal: Finding your "why" to keep moving forward when the going gets tough.
The Reverse: Understanding when to pull back if you’re overreacting or taking things too far.
The Steering Wheel: Keeping control of your divorce process and not letting others take the wheel.
The Road Map: Mapping out your divorce journey and understanding the steps ahead.
Navigating your Divorce: the 5 tools you need to stay on course
Links & Resources Mentioned in the Podcast:
Related Episodes:
Disclosure Dilemmas
The Pep Talk You Didn't Know You Needed
Handover Hell
Webinars and Courses:
Divorce Blueprint
In Depth Webinar on Navigating Divorce
Patreon for a worksheet that goes with this episodeEmergency Contacts:
WOMEN'S SHELTER SERVICE
LEGAL AID
Lifeline: 13 11 14
Mensline Australia: 1300 789 978
Kids Help Line: 1800 551 800
Aboriginal Family Domestic Violence Hotline: 1800 019 123
Relationships Australia
Police: 000
DVConnect Womensline: 1800 811 811 (24 hours, 7 days a week)
DV Connect Mensline: 1800 600 636
National DV line: 1800 737 732 (1800 RESPECT)
Thank you for tuning in to this episode on navigating your divorce journey. We hope you find these strategies helpful as you move forward. If you found this podcast valuable, please rate, review, and subscribe. Your feedback helps others find the support they need. Stay strong and take care.
Disclaimer: This podcast episode provides general legal education for Australians and is not a substitute for legal advice. Every situation is different, and it is important to seek independent legal advice tailored to your specific circumstances.
00:00 Introduction to Divorce as a Journey
00:30 Understanding Gaslighting and Self-Doubt
01:40 Five Essential Tools for Your Divorce Journey
02:24 The Handbrake: Stopping Self-Doubt
05:30 The Accelerator: Finding Your Motivation
09:35 The Reverse: Knowing When to Pull Back
14:56 The Steering Wheel: Maintaining Control
20:38 Cutting Out Irrelevant Details
21:09 Steering Your Legal Strategy
22:16 Understanding Court Conventions
22:39 Introducing the Divorce Blueprint
23:18 Balancing Property and Children's Matters
25:03 Taking Control of Your Case
25:46 Navigating Legal Advice
26:47 Empowering Yourself Through Knowledge
29:09 Organising Your Legal Documents
30:26 Preparing for Legal Challenges
33:06 Recap and Final Thoughts
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Divorce & property settlements are confusing enough, especially when it comes to recognizing all contributions. Educate yourself about some of the most overlooked non financial contributions you may have made that will help increase your percentage of the property pool. In this episode, we discuss the often-overlooked aspects of contributions in property settlements, focusing on non-financial parenting contributions. Explore the surprising elements that might not be considered but can play a significant role in determining your part of the property pool percentage during divorce or de facto separation.
Disclaimer: This podcast episode provides general legal education for Australians and is not a substitute for legal advice. Every situation is different, and it is important to seek independent legal advice tailored to your specific circumstances.
Listen to This Episode If You:🌟 Want to understand the less commonly discussed contributions considered in property settlements.
❓ Are unsure how parenting contributions affect your property settlement.
💡 Are seeking clarity on what counts as a contribution before, during, and after the relationship.
🛡 Need to know how to document and present your contributions effectively.
📚 Are looking for strategies to ensure a fair property settlement.
Key Ideas Discussed in This Episode:Definition of Contributions: Understanding what contributions are and how they factor into property settlements in Australia.
Commonly Remembered Contributions: Financial contributions, non-financial contributions like renovating a house, and receiving inheritances.
Overlooked Contributions: Parenting contributions, including caring for stepchildren and supporting a partner’s children.
Impact of Salary on Contributions: Clarifying that higher salaries do not necessarily mean a larger share of the property pool.
Special Contributions: Contributions like supporting a partner through education or living arrangements with in-laws.
Legal Framework: Aligning contributions with the Family Law Act and understanding its implications.
Real-Life Examples: Case studies and examples illustrating how different contributions are valued.
Advice for Self-Advocacy: Tips for ensuring all your contributions are recognized and presented effectively.
PARENTING Contributions in Property Settlement Links & Resources Mentioned in the Podcast:Contributions Episode
Salary Doesn't Count
Future Needs
The Pep Talk You Didn't Know You Needed
PATREON ACCESS - https://www.patreon.com/TheDivorceCoursePodcast
Chapters
00:00 Introduction to Property Settlement
00:32 Understanding Contributions in Property Settlement
01:51 Common Contributions in Property Settlement
03:30 Surprising Contributions in Parenting
05:34 Parenting Contributions: Stepchildren and Special Cases
10:13 Documenting Parenting Contributions
18:13 Stay-at-Home Parents and Property Settlement
21:20 Challenges of Family Court and Outdated Legislation
22:29 Evolving Roles and Contributions in Modern Families
24:28 Counter Arguments to Stay-at-Home Parent Contributions
27:00 Superannuation and Property Settlements
30:17 Short vs. Long Marriages: Impact on Contributions
33:00 Grey Divorces and Contributions
34:39 Importance of Legal Advice and Self-Advocacy
37:59 Final Thoughts and Resources
Emergency Contacts:WOMEN'S SHELTER SERVICE
LEGAL AID
Lifeline: 13 11 14
Mensline Australia: 1300 789 978
Kids Help Line: 1800 551 800
Aboriginal Family Domestic Violence Hotline: 1800 019 123
Relationships Australia
Police: 000
DVConnect Womensline: 1800 811 811 (24 hours, 7 days a week)
DV Connect Mensline: 1800 600 636
National DV line: 1800 737 732 (1800 RESPECT)
Thank you for tuning in to this episode on property settlement contributions. Understanding your rights and contributions is crucial in ensuring a fair settlement. If you found this podcast helpful, please rate, review, and subscribe. Your feedback helps others find the support they need. Stay strong and take care.
Disclaimer: This podcast episode provides general legal education for Australians and is not a substitute for legal advice. Every situation is different, and it is important to seek independent legal advice tailored to your specific circumstances.
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Are you struggling to document and present your experiences of coercive control or family violence in your paperwork or to your lawyer, mediator , police, court or counsellor? Feel like you have to KEEP telling your story and you wish there was a better way?
Whether you're preparing for mediation, court, or consultations with your lawyer, effectively communicating these experiences is crucial for your case.
In this episode, we cover simple ways to lay out your coercive control or family violence experiences in an easy to read and use format.
Lyn provides practical strategies to ensure your story is heard and understood, aligning your documentation with the Family Law Act, and presenting your case compellingly.
Please note that this podcast provides general education only and is not legal advice. Always seek independent legal advice, as every situation is different.
Listen to This Episode If You:🌟 Are experiencing coercive control and need to document it for legal purposes.
❓ Want to understand how the Family Law Act defines and addresses coercive control.
💡 Seek strategies for making your lived experiences clear and impactful in legal documents.
🛡 Are preparing for mediation, court, or consultations with a lawyer.
📚 Need guidance on creating a comprehensive and organised record of coercive control incidents.
Key Ideas Discussed in This Episode:Understanding Coercive Control: What it is and how it impacts family law cases.
Family Law Act Section 4AB: Definition of family violence and examples of coercive control.
Documentation Strategies: Tips for documenting coercive control effectively.
Using Legal Language: How to align your documentation with the Family Law Act.
Creating Impactful Narratives: Techniques for making your experiences come alive in affidavits and statements.
Organising Evidence: Best practices for compiling and presenting evidence.
Frequency and Patterns: Highlighting the frequency and pattern of coercive control behaviours.
Presenting in Mediation and Court: How to convey your case effectively in different legal settings.
Family Law Act Discussed
Family Law act 4da
Episodes Mentioned that you can learn more about
The importance of record keeping during divorce & separation: the what, why, when and how to help yourself in mediation, family court or even just in negotiation.
How to Write an Affidavit
The Post Separation Abuse Playbook and what you can do about it. Part 1
The Post Separation Abuse Playbook and what you can do about it. Part 2
Here are the key highlights and important parts of the episode with timestamps:
[0:00] - IntroductionLaura and Lynette introduce the topic of documenting coercive control for legal purposes.
[2:15] - Understanding Coercive ControlDefinition of coercive control and its impact on family law cases.
[5:30] - Family Law Act Section 4ABExplanation of how the Family Law Act defines coercive control and family violence.
[10:05] - Importance of DocumentationWhy documenting coercive control is crucial for your case.
[12:45] - Documentation StrategiesTips for effectively documenting instances of coercive control.
[15:20] - Using Legal LanguageHow to align your documentation with the terminology in the Family Law Act.
[18:40] - Creating Impactful NarrativesTechniques for making your experiences come alive in affidavits and statements.
[22:00] - Organising EvidenceBest practices for compiling and presenting evidence in a clear and organized manner.
[25:35] - Highlighting Frequency and PatternsImportance of demonstrating the frequency and pattern of coercive control behaviours.
[29:10] - Presenting in Mediation and CourtHow to effectively communicate your case in different legal settings, including mediation and court.
[33:50] - Real-Life ExamplesExamples of how to document coercive control incidents and their impact.
[38:00] - Seeking Professional HelpWhen and how to seek professional help from lawyers and other experts.
[41:30] - Resources and Further ReadingMention of relevant episodes and resources to assist listeners further.
[45:00] - ConclusionLaura and Lynette wrap up the episode with final thoughts and encouragement.
Emergency Contacts:
WOMEN'S SHELTER SERVICE
LEGAL AID
Lifeline 13 11 14
Mensline Australia 1300 789 978
Kids Help Line 1800 551 800
Aboriginal Family Domestic Violence Hotline 1800 019 123
Relationships Australia
Police on 000
DVConnect Womensline on 1800 811 811 (24 hours, 7 days a week) Note: This number is not recorded on your phone bill
DV Connect Mensline on 1800 600 636
National DV line on 1800 737 732.1800RESPECT 1800 737 732
Don't forget to hit SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss out on our upcoming practical steps and guidance for your divorce or de facto separation. If you found this episode helpful, please leave a rating and a review to help others. Thank you.
Please note that this podcast provides general education only and is not legal advice. Always seek independent legal advice, as every situation is different.
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Custody handovers can be one of the most stressful aspects of co-parenting, often referred to as "handover hell." Whether it's a tense interaction with your ex or the emotional strain on your children, it's crucial to find ways to make these transitions as smooth as possible. In this episode, Laura and Lynette dive into practical strategies for handling custody handovers, discussing everything from setting clear boundaries to using neutral locations for exchanges. They explore how to make handovers less stressful for both parents and kids, and offer insights on future-proofing your handover arrangements to avoid common pitfalls.
Please note that this podcast provides general education only and is not legal advice. Always seek independent legal advice, as every situation is different.
Listen to This Episode If You:🌟 Are experiencing tension and conflict during custody handovers.
❓ Want practical tips for making handovers less stressful for your children.
💡 Seek strategies to communicate effectively with your co-parent during handovers.
🛡 Are dealing with a high-conflict ex-partner and need to minimise drama.
📚 Need advice on creating a consistent and positive handover routine.
Key Ideas Discussed in This Episode:Importance of Specifying Handovers: Why it's crucial to have a clear, agreed-upon plan for custody exchanges.
Types of Handovers: Various options including school, neutral locations, contact centres, and supervised exchanges.
Legal Implications: Understanding the legal reasons for specified handovers and how to lock them in with parenting plans or consent orders.
Future-Proofing Your Plan: How to anticipate changes in your children's needs and circumstances as they grow.
Minimising Stress for Kids: Strategies to make handovers as smooth and positive as possible for your children.
Dealing with Different Personality Types: Tips for managing handovers with manipulative, controlling, avoidant, or high-conflict ex-partners.
Setting Boundaries: The importance of maintaining clear boundaries to protect your mental health and well-being.
Episodes mentioned in this Podcast
Parenting Orders Program (POP) | Relationships Australia Queensland
12 Agreements for a Parenting Plan
Consent Orders
Help My Ex Won't Let Me See the Kids
Why Your Narcissistic Ex May Want a Parenting Coordinator
Handover Hell: How to Make Child Custody Exchanges Easier
00:00 Introduction to Handover Hell
01:33 Why Specify Handover Locations?
02:35 Types of Handover Options
08:42 Future Proofing Your Handover Plan
15:08 Locking in Handover Arrangements
20:08 Making Handover Easier for Kids
25:08 Arranging Handover for Parents' Well-being
29:35 Free Resources for Divorce Preparation
30:17 Common Mistakes During Handovers
31:24 The Dangers of Filming Handovers
32:28 Handling Drunk or Unsafe Parents
35:48 Dealing with Late or Unreliable Parents
40:05 When Children Refuse to Go
43:34 Legal Support and Family Reports
46:00 Creating Effective Parenting Plans
48:22 Managing Manipulative and Controlling Exes
51:14 Final Thoughts and Encouragement
Emergency Contacts:
WOMEN'S SHELTER SERVICE
LEGAL AID
Lifeline 13 11 14
Mensline Australia 1300 789 978
Kids Help Line 1800 551 800
Aboriginal Family Domestic Violence Hotline 1800 019 123
Relationships Australia
Police on 000
DVConnect Womensline on 1800 811 811 (24 hours, 7 days a week) Note: This number is not recorded on your phone bill
DV Connect Mensline on 1800 600 636
National DV line on 1800 737 732.1800RESPECT 1800 737 732
Don't forget to hit SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss out on our upcoming practical steps and guidance for your divorce or de facto separation. If you found this episode helpful, please leave a rating and a review to help others. Thank you.
Please note that this podcast provides general education only and is not legal advice. Always seek independent legal advice, as every situation is different.
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Are you in the process of getting divorced and need to find the right lawyer for your case? Choosing the right legal representation can be daunting, especially during an emotionally charged time. In this episode, Laura and Lynette dive into the ten essential steps and questions you need to consider when selecting a lawyer. They discuss the importance of finding a lawyer whose experience, ability, and personality align with your needs, and they offer practical advice on navigating this crucial decision.
Listen to This Episode If You:
- 🌟 Are beginning the process of divorce and need to find a lawyer.
- ❓ Want to know the key questions to ask a prospective lawyer.
- 💡 Seek understanding of the importance of lawyer-client compatibility.
- 🛡 Are dealing with the stress and confusion of legal proceedings.
- 📚 Need strategies for ensuring your lawyer can meet your specific needs.
Key Ideas Discussed in This Episode:
- Finding the Right Lawyer: Tips on what to look for in terms of experience, ability, and personality.
- Asking the Right Questions: Essential questions to ask during initial consultations to ensure a good fit.
- Understanding Costs: The importance of discussing billing practices, hourly rates, and getting itemised accounts.
- Legal Updates: Ensuring your lawyer is knowledgeable about recent changes in the Family Law Act and other relevant legislation.
- Step In, Step Out Services: Understanding flexible legal services and how they can save you money.
- Importance of Compatibility: Why it’s crucial to find a lawyer you can trust and communicate with effectively.
- Handling Legal Fees: Strategies for managing costs and budgeting for your legal expenses.
- Role of Communication The significance of clear and consistent communication between you and your lawyer.
Links & Resources Mentioned in the Podcast:
Choosing a Family Lawyer & the Red Flags not to ignore
Three ways to choose and use your family lawyer (that you probably haven’t heard of for your divorce.
Divorce Budgeting 101: Understanding Legal Fees & Six Simple Saving Strategies
Emergency Contacts:
WOMEN'S SHELTER SERVICE
LEGAL AID
Lifeline 13 11 14
Mensline Australia 1300 789 978
Kids Help Line 1800 551 800
Aboriginal Family Domestic Violence Hotline 1800 019 123
Relationships Australia
Police on 000
DVConnect Womensline on 1800 811 811 (24 hours, 7 days a week) Note: This number is not recorded on your phone bill
DV Connect Mensline on 1800 600 636
National DV line on 1800 737 732.1800RESPECT 1800 737 732
Don't forget to hit SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss out on our upcoming practical steps and guidance for your divorce or de facto separation. If you found this episode helpful, please leave a rating and a review to help others. Thank you.
Please note that this podcast provides general education only and is not legal advice. Always seek independent legal advice, as every situation is different.
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Struggling with what to do with your ex's stuff after a separation or divorce? Whether it's a garage full of clutter, valuable memorabilia, or just everyday items left behind, dealing with an ex's belongings can be frustrating and emotionally draining. In this episode, Laura and Lynette discuss practical strategies for handling your ex's stuff, from boxing it up to negotiating its removal, all while considering the legal implications. They also explore how different scenarios—whether amicable, manipulative, controlling, avoidant, or high conflict—affect the process. Tune in to gain valuable insights and practical tips to navigate this tricky aspect of post-separation life. (Remember to see your lawyer before doing anything about this issue as each situation is different.)
Listen to This Episode If You:
- 🌟 Want practical legal education on dealing with your ex’s belongings.
- ❓ Are unsure about the legal implications of getting rid of or storing your ex’s stuff.
- 💡 Seek clarity on how different types of relationships (amicable, manipulative, etc.) impact handling belongings.
- 🛡 Are dealing with a high-conflict or controlling ex-partner.
- 📦 Need strategies for negotiating the removal of your ex’s items.
Key Ideas Discussed in This Episode:
Impact of Stuff on Your Life: How lingering belongings can affect your mental and emotional well-being.
Legal Considerations: The potential legal consequences of disposing of or keeping your ex's belongings.
Different Relationship Scenarios: Strategies tailored to different types of ex-partners (amicable, manipulative, controlling, avoidant, high conflict).
Practical Steps: Tips on boxing up items, setting deadlines, and using storage solutions.
Using Mediation: How to incorporate belongings into mediation agreements and consent orders.
Involving Authorities: When and how to involve the police in high-conflict situations.
Handling Emotional Attachments: Dealing with the emotional aspects of letting go or holding on to items.
Episode 158 Sorting Through the Chaos: Dealing with Your Ex's Belongings During Divorce
For Full Show Notes, go to www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog
For more support, visit www.thedivorcecourse.com.au
Please note that this podcast provides general education only and is not legal advice. This is just one lawyer's opinion of the family court's views in Australia. Do not base your case on anything mentioned in this episode unless it is first discussed and approved by your personal lawyer. Always seek independent legal advice, as every situation is different. By listening to this show, you are agreeing that it and the company that runs it are not liable for the outcome of your case.
Useful Resources:
Click here for our free before you leave checklist
Click here for our free mediation checklist
Sign up here for our next free online webinar
Emergency Contacts:
WOMEN'S SHELTER SERVICE
LEGAL AID
Lifeline 13 11 14
Mensline Australia 1300 789 978
Kids Help Line 1800 551 800
Aboriginal Family Domestic Violence Hotline 1800 019 123
Relationships Australia
Police on 000
DVConnect Womensline on 1800 811 811 (24 hours, 7 days a week) Note: This number is not recorded on your phone bill
DV Connect Mensline on 1800 600 636
National DV line on 1800 737 732.1800RESPECT 1800 737 732
Thank you for tuning in to this informative episode on handling your ex’s belongings. Understanding the legal and emotional aspects is crucial for navigating this tricky part of post-separation life. If you found this podcast helpful, please rate, review, and subscribe. Your feedback helps others find the support they need. Stay strong and take care.
**Disclaimer:** This podcast episode provides general education for Australians and is not a substitute for legal advice. Every situation is different, and it is important to seek independent legal education tailored to your specific circumstances.
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Are you struggling with understanding parental responsibility after a divorce or separation? Need strategies for handling parenting disagreements about major or minor decisions for your children? In Australia, who makes decisions for the children before there is a parenting plan or court order? What happens if you and your ex can't agree on a school, medical, or other major issue?
In this episode, Laura and an Australian Family Law Specialist Lynette break down the complexities of these often-confusing topics.
They discuss what parental responsibility entails, how recent changes in the family law impact it, and what it means for parents trying to make decisions for their children.
Whether you're dealing with a high-conflict ex or just trying to navigate the legal jargon, this episode offers essential insights and practical advice to help you understand and manage parental responsibility effectively.
Please note that this podcast provides general education only and is not legal advice. Always seek independent legal advice, as every situation is different.
Listen to This Episode If You:🌟 Want to understand the concept of parental responsibility and how it impacts your legal rights as a parent.
❓ Are confused about the difference between joint, sole, and equal shared parental responsibility.
💡 Seek clarity on how recent family law act legal changes affect parental decision-making.
🛡 Are dealing with a manipulative, controlling, or high-conflict or narcissistic type co-parent.
📚 Need strategies for handling disagreements about major decisions for your children.
📝 Want to learn how to navigate court orders and legal terminology related to parenting.
Key Ideas Discussed in This Episode:Definition and Importance of Parental Responsibility: What it is and why it matters in the eyes of the court.
Changes in Legislation: How the new laws in the Family Law Act of Australia as of May 2024 impact parental responsibility.
Joint vs. Sole Parental Responsibility: Understanding the differences and implications.
Decision-Making: Which parent makes decisions about major long-term issues versus day-to-day matters.
Court Orders and Parental Responsibility: How to handle existing orders and apply for new ones.
Section 61DAB: Understanding the provision that outlines day-to-day decision-making without the need for consultation on minor issues.
Real-Life Examples: Cases of disputes over education, medical decisions, and other critical areas.
Co-Parenting Challenges: Tips for dealing with uncooperative or high-conflict ex-partners.
Post-Separation Abuse: Recognizing and addressing coercive control in parenting situations.
For Full Show Notes & downloadable checklist for witness box tips, go to www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog
For more support, visit www.thedivorcecourse.com.au
Links & Resources Mentioned in the Podcast:Episodes to Help with Communication Boundaries:
Bombarded with Legal Letters
Do I Really Need to Respond to That?
How to Respond to a Word Salad Letter
Episodes on Managing Emotions and Self-Affirmation:
Things the Court Doesn't Care About
Disclosure Episode
Red Flags Lawyers
How to Choose and Use Your Lawyer
Parenting Apps for Communication:
Our Children CoParenting Platform
My Family Wizard
Section 61DAB of the Family Law Act
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