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I've been thinking a lot about what to bring you for this last episode of 2023, and what felt most honest was a tiny reflection of my own and an invitation for you to consider your waiting as well.
As I reflect on the past year, specifically the past five episodes of this season, I realize that there seems to be an underlying tone of waiting in every conversation around shame. Waiting while grieving, learning to stay while we work on believing new stories about ourselves, being patient as we learn and change, knowing to wait for our voice to be heard, and learning to redirect judgment while remaining.
So here are some personal thoughts from my own place of navigating shame and the current waiting I find myself in. As we go into a new year, I can foresee many exciting and challenging changes, for now, I am just learning to wait.
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“I come to the work of living and leading relationally with the lived experience of moving through life in the U.S. as an autistic, multi-racial and sometimes white-presenting “other” with many other intersecting privileges and marginalized identities. I bring relentless compassion, an unusual perspective, and an eclectic variety of tools to the conversation of expanding our lives and our leadership beyond personal growth and into relational development.”
I think it speaks for itself on why I was so excited to extend the invite to share this space with James oliva and why I am so grateful to share no be able to share this conversation with you. As we move into this holiday season and a new year I cant think of anything we need more than relentless compassion.
When it comes to this ongoing conversation on the impacts of shame James-olivia provides a really powerful perspective on the inter-workings of judgment and some alternative questions to consider. Learn more here
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Have you ever questioned if your story, your voice, your experience really matters in this world?
Desirée shares so openly as a reminder that every voice has power, and purpose, and though finding that isn’t easy, it is so important. This episode is an invitation to hear the story of an incredible musician who is learning how to use their voice through the music and continue when the music is turned down.
Desirée said it so well, this is a conversation for those who are looking to hold more compassionate space for one another and self. I really can not think of anything our world needs more of right now.
Check out more of Desirée story & additional resources here..
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This episode is really just the beginning of a much-needed and very refreshing perspective from Nicole Caudana on how the conversation around sustainability in our world needs to begin shifting.
As The Giving Gifts and Mindful Metals Studio (Nicole's incredible small business) merge together, this is actually a conversation Nicole and I are having, and together, we decided it would be really fun to invite you into this conversation with us.
If there are any changes worth making in this world, shouldn't those changes be worth sustaining?
This is a question that I have spent years considering when it comes to integrating mental health and trauma-informed care tools and resources into the lives of individuals and communities globally and a question Nicole has become an expert on in the world of ocean conservation, entrepreneurship, and teaching.
It took shifting the shame that comes with not having it all figured out to get us to a place of being open to learning from and with one another, a gift that we are so very eager and excited to share with you.
You can learn more about Nicole, Mindful Metals Studio, and what she is up to with The Giving Gifts here.
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Jaimie, is an incredibly humble and thoughtful leader, mom, wife, friend, and the founder of Grind House in the sweet community of Encinitas. When I met Jaimie for the first time, it was in passing at a farmers market and there was something about the posture of curiosity she had in a few-minute conversation that made me very curious of her story. This was actually my first time hearing her story and I am seriously so thankful for her candid honesty. There is something in this episode for everyone.
I knew the conversation with Jaimie was going to be a great one when within the first ten minutes we were already talking about peeling back ego and judgment.
I hope that this episode sheds a little light on a topic that holds quite a lot for many people. As a good friend of mine texted me just this last week “Shame can only live where it is hidden, so by exposing things that bring shame up through conversation, we start to eliminate it.”
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When I made the list of individuals I wanted to have on this season, Mary was the first name I wrote…next to her name, I put question marks, telling myself that she wouldn't be interested in sharing on this podcast…I have never been more grateful to be totally wrong!
This episode explores the theme of suffering significant loss. "I live in happy, sad daily…every day I live in sad happy. There is not a day really that I can say is completely happy anymore, but I can also say, there is not a completely sad day." Mary shares life after losing a son, a husband, and, most recently, a daughter this past May.
Mary's story is a reminder of the reality that everyone goes through losing someone; some people lose more than others. It doesn't always make sense, it's definitely not always fair, and it is most certainly important to create space to talk about.
When you let people walk alongside you through life, you invite others into the suffering you experience, and that's beautiful and hard and something I so admire the way Mary continues to do.
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At the end of season three, I truly did not know if there would be another season of this podcast. Not because I don’t LOVE what this podcast space has created, but mostly because I was asking if putting more noise in an already very loud world was really needed right now.
Over the last three months, in the midst of a lot of my own grieving, I’ve spent a lot of time listening. Listening to friends and family, listening to the community I live in, listening to the global communities I stay connected to, listening (selectively) to the news and media and podcasts and books, listening to myself. A LOT of listening, and here’s what I have come to…
Our world needs more space to explore and share in one another’s suffering openly…
This season of the podcast is called “Shame Shift”, shifting the conversations from suffering from shame to possibility. Possibility to connect, possibility to explore aspects of yourself and others, possibility to shift the way we listen and respond! The same vision for real people to share real stories as they navigate using their gifts in this world with a few added components!
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Welcome to the giving gifts podcast…a place for real people to share real stories and if I'm being really honest with you this has been such a challenging episode to put together. Over a month ago I was brainstorming how to conclude this season of the giving gifts podcast and I had the thought of a collaborative episode. I wanted to give everyone who shared on the season an opportunity just to share what they are learning right now and a little encouragement.
Honestly, this idea came from a place of being a bit discouraged. I love getting to create space for people to share, and sometimes it feels like I am trying to create something in a world that feels so full..like no one has the time or space to slow down to care. So when this idea came up to make this last episode a collaborative piece, all I had in mind was that it really is such a gift to have a space to host the words and stories of individuals all over this world, and even if one person is impacted…its worth it
What I didn’t know at that time is that one person who needed to hear and receive all those words at that moment was actually me.
I definitely did not realize that this episode would be host to some of the last words my very special friend, Karimy Jutila, would share here on earth.
I have held on to this episode's words for over three weeks. Wanting so desperately to make something beautiful enough to reflect the impact, love, and care I have for Karimy and all of the brave people to share throughout this season.
What I am learning right now is that the impact we have on one another is not contingent on how successful you become, or how put together your life appears to be, and it does not wait for things to go the way you imagined they might. Impact happens when we see one another, in suffering, in celebration, in life, and in death. And my encouragement is to really listen to the voices in this episode, and let them be a reminder of just how fragile life is and how impact is a gift we all have to give. May stories like Karimys be a reminder that your story is so incredibly important and needed in this world.
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Have you ever wondered if what you do really matters in this world?
No matter how old you are, what life stage you're in, or where you are in this world, we are all asking the same questions. Do I matter? Do I make a difference? Am I important?
This episode is so special for so many reasons. Jonathan Murillo has this safe disposition that invites others into a conversation where you can put your guard down, can trust that your thoughts, feelings, and experience will be respected, honored, supported, and cared for. Jonathon has a way of connecting dots for people's ideas, gifts, and stories, and even connecting one another.
When you find people in the corners of this world that are so committed to a purpose as well-intentioned and beautiful as Jonathons, you celebrate that. If you ever wondered if what you do really matters in this world, I am so thankful that you are about to listen to this episode right now…
Check out more from this story:
Homily is Jonathons company, where he uses his gifts to come alongside individuals and businesses. If you value what Jonathon has to share in this episode you are going to gain so much from following along with what he has to offer through Homily.
You can follow along with Jonathon & Homily on Instagram!
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Do you ever notice that one of the very first questions we ask when we meet someone is "what do you do?" or "how do you spend your time", expecting the recipient of this question to have a quick, 60-second answer? What a weird world we live in, filled with mixed messages about who you are, what you're worth, and what's important.
If you met Beth Leipholtz today, you may learn quickly that she is a wife, mom, author, full-time web designer, photographer, creative, podcaster, sober, friend, an inclusion and accessibility advocate, a cross-fitter, AND who Beth is so much more than any one of those titles could hold. It will only take 60 seconds to recognize that Beth has a great story, but it's in the "long-winded answers" that you'll experience the depth of what Beth creates, why she creates, and who she is.
This episode is simply an intro to a real story of a real person doing really incredible things in this world. I am so thankful to deliver this gift that was given to me.
Beth shares daily moments of her life on Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, TikTok, I would encourage you to give her a follow! The ABCs Of Inclusion, Beth’s very first children’s book comes out tomorrow, Tuesday, Mar 20th! Check that out here!
As always, check out the weekly considerations, more information on this episode, and ways for you to support the podcast @TheGivingGifts
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Heather Green is a special education advocate, teacher, mom of two little humans, a partner, a friend to many, and a sister to me. Growing up, I knew Heather to be someone who rarely made mistakes, excelled at almost everything she did, and craved control over circumstances and people she had no real control over. I now know Heather to be a lifelong learner, a fiercely loving, compassionate, crazy intelligent human who still craves that control but is doing much better at recognizing what she can't control.
One of the hopes in this podcast is that as we learn to listen to one another, we will begin to challenge ourselves with questions, perspectives, and stories different than our own. Learning to listen to people we don’t know is sometimes easier than listening to those we think we know. Sometimes we become familiar with people and forget to continue to learn.
Something I became aware of midway through this episode is the layers of story it holds. What you do, what you create, your career, successes, and failures are not who you are, but when you allow who you are to continually be transformed by love, by people, by committing to care deeply even when its exhausting, what you do will be a reflection of who you are. This episode is FULL of little nuggets, I can't wait for you to listen!
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When I moved to Ensenada something I was quickly encouraged by was the local small business community. So many really incredible people creating incredible things. I had heard about Amin and hostile burgers for quite awhile before I actually got to go and the first time I went I immediately know that this guy had a special gift and story that I was eager to hear. To be honest I kinda held back a lot of the questions i had because I really wanted to capture learning about him and his story on this podcast.
Let me try to paint this picture for you…imagine a cute little plaza with restaurants, coffee shops, some occasional destiny child playing and a casual mariachi band that walks through. In the heart of the plaza you will find amin and hostile burger. A small corner shop with a wrap around bar and seating for maybe 7 to 9 people. From floor to ceiling their is inanely incredible art. The lighting is cool, the bar is cool, its like an explosion of creativity from the sauces, to the burgers, to the clothes and shoes and art amin creates. It was only appropriate to record in the space it all takes a place. This story is just the surface of an incredible masterpiece that is Amin…
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To kick off February, the infamous month of LOVE I could not be more grateful and excited to invite you into hearing a bit from Dottie Oleson. I truly believe that no matter who you are, what you believe, what you have experienced or haven’t experienced from church culture or people who claim to be christians this episode is encouraging and needed right now. To love at all is to learn, to listen, to accept and what a beautiful gift love is.
Who is Dottie Oleson?
Dottie is a new mom to her 14-month old son Beckham, a partner to Jesse, and a pastor and friend to many. You can catch Dottie running (for fun) in LB, CA with their sweet pup Sequoia or at a community pot luck with the crew at City Church of LB, one of two communities that Dotties pastors over.
Dottie shares that since she was a kid she has loved the church and people and as the years progress, the images of church continue to expand into a warm, eclectic, intercultural, queer place of belonging! With 11+ years working in ministry and extensive research in psychology, Dottie uses a cross-disciplinary approach to offer pastoral care and reimagine liberated church communities. Dottie holds a Master of Divinity with a specialization in Global and Community Engagement from Boston University.
For more resources from Dottie check this out!
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A few fun facts about Geneva:
“When I am in Mexico, I don’t look Mexican, and when I’m in the states, I don’t feel like I fit in there either” - Geneva was born & raised in Ensenada, MX, and currently resides in Chicago, IL. When Geneva isn’t changing lives through the film, you can find her roaming the world, making friends anywhere she goes, exploring coffee shops (although she isn’t drinking coffee anymore), and climbing rocks and things. I’ve known Geneva for more than ten years. When I moved to Mexico, she was also home visiting her family at the same time, and she did not like me, and I honestly thought it was hilarious because she didn’t even try to pretend. I wrote her name down on my “one-day podcast list” because I valued her honesty and transparency. (P.S. the conversation we had right before this one you’re about to hear is about how Geneva changed her mind about me…turns out she thinks I’m okay!)Geneva García is this radiant, compassionate, loud, joyful, incredibly talented human being with great depth, sincerity, and a heart to fight for those who have been oppressed, misunderstood, and not cared for. Geneva carries with her a story that illuminates all life’s hues.
It feels important to mention that in this episode, Geneva bravely shares her journey with navigating religion, the battle of mental health and suicidal ideation, and her process of self-acceptance.
These areas are highly sensitive for many, and that is not taken lightly. Please do not hesitate to let someone know if anything comes up for you in this episode and you find yourself struggling with your mental, emotional, or spiritual health.
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You know when you're driving in the car with people you trust and the conversation is rich and the company is solid and you find yourself in a safe place to explore and share your thoughts? That's what recording this episode felt like.
Mezli & Ruby are pure joy and it is such an honor to be able to deliver a bit of their story, their perspectives, and their gifts with you! I think if you listen to the questions and to the answers. If you pay attention to our experience with one another and the experience you might have, there is a lot of insight, a lot of learning, a lot of caring we can give and receive.
This episode was a little bit different as we actually played a little question game and drew questions from a jar, I thought you may enjoy answering and asking the questions as well:
1. What is something you're proud of from this past year?
2. What is something new you want to try?
3. What is something you're afraid of?
4. What is one thing you can do this next year to be part of transformation in the world?
5. What is something you're looking froward to?
6. What is something you've learning about yourself this past year?
7. Do you believe that you are loved and that you matter in this world?
8. What do you do when you find yourself defeated?
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When I think about examples of people using their gifts to care well for others, Kelli Smith is a perfect example. Kelli is a cross-country coach, a wife to David Smith, a professional volleyball player, a mom to two kiddos, and a friend, a mentor, and an encourager to many. I met Kelli when I was working for a different nonprofit organization. I have never met a person who found so much joy in navigating databases and running reports, and I quickly learned that it wasn't just the reports Kelli found joy in. It was taking on challenges that most people would fear and avoid that brought Kelli to life.If you are familiar with the enneagram, Kelli is an 8, which she and I both have in common. If you are not familiar with enneagram is a system of understanding the human psyche based on nine personality types. The eighth is often known as the challenger, motivated to protect, fearful of being controlled, and not scared to voice their opinions, especially when standing up for something or someone. The eight is often considered the most misunderstood, predominantly female 8s. Let's say, as an 8, we are not very submissive, meek, or quiet, and some people, in my experience, most individuals who expect women to be that have a hard time understanding or appreciating enneagram 8s.When used correctly, the enneagram is an excellent tool because it provides some language and understanding for yourself and others. Kelli being an eight was not at all a surprise to me. Kelli and her family have spent most of their time living in Poland this past year. Kelli was in Poland when the war in Ukraine began, and she was the first person I saw who responded to the needs of Ukrainians who had found their way to Poland. Over the past nine months, I have witnessed Kelli use her voice and gifts to care for many people, and the work isn't done. This episode is so significant in our world right now. As you hear about Kelli's experience, I hope you will be reminded, encouraged, and challenged to use your gifts in this world because if there is anything true, every person, every enneagram type, every gift matters and is needed.IMPACT OPPORTUNITY: For every copy of Shellebrate funded in December, we will give $5 directly to Kelli to support the local Ukrainian families! Additional resources: Follow Kelli on Instagram: @runksmith& two other Instagrams Kelli reccomended:News: https://www.instagram.com/zelenskiy_official/Photo Journalist: https://www.instagram.com/alinatyulyu/--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thegivinggifts/support
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This SUPER special episode brings together a few unique perspectives from worldwide to talk a bit about thankfulness. When we talk about thankfulness, it can feel a little cheesy, but when it comes down to it, I believe that being thankful is one of the greatest gifts we experience as humans.
I asked a few people from around the world to join me in this conversation on what it means to be thankful in a complicated, challenging, beautiful, and dynamic world.
A few years ago, I had the privilege of spending a month in Soshanguve, a township in South Africa, with Luc Kabongo and his family. Luc is among the most intelligent, hardworking, and humble humans I have ever encountered. During that trip, I met Debbie Horrock, who at the time was living in South Africa and is now back in Scotland with her husband and now four little kiddos! Imagine a time when you were freezing outside, and you walked in and snuggled up in a cozy blanket by a fire… that's what it was like to know Debbie…comforting, familiar, safe, and warm.
And then there is Max Lynd. It is difficult for me to remember life before meeting Max. Another human who I consider to be a brother and a person who I have seen continually grow in how he loves others so profoundly, consistently, and intentionally.
If you put the four of us in a room, you get four very different stories of four very other people, across four different countries, living four very different lives. But if you listen long enough, you'll hear a similar heartbeat. That's what this practice of thankfulness does, and it takes all the differences in this world and draws us together, which is such a gift.
P.S. This intro may be the best thing I've ever put together!
Resources:
The Giving Gifts put together a free gratitude & connection activity for people all over the world to participate in this week! Check it out and put your location on the map so you know who else is participating! Debbie has put together a great resource that walks you through the Examen Activity that is mentioned in the podcast! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thegivinggifts/support -
Gosh….Julia Rockowitz…where to begin.
I need to get a little more personal in explaining who Julia is because of the immense impact this human has had and continues to have in my life. I met Julia when she was 10 and I was 13, and I quickly came to know Julia as a sister. A connection that would not require DNA but would be secure through years of life, moving changes, and so many circumstances. Julia is a person who is constantly reminding those around her of the most beautiful aspects of being alive. Never discounting the challenging emotions or frustrating experiences but reflecting on the importance of celebrating every part of being human. If you were to ask me to explain Julia in three words, I would say: grounded, steady, and safe. A person who is committed to the process of being present, willing, learning, and responsive..okay, sorry, that was more than three words.
You do not need to know Julia or honestly to even know who Julia is to me to get an incredible amount of value from tuning into this episode. There is something for literally everyone to connect with. I can’t wait for you to listen!
P.S. Julia wanted to make sure there was a disclaimer…she definitely is aware that Hawaii is undoubtedly part of the United States Of America…😂
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Guadalupe Alonso is a phenomenal artist who I met here in Ensenada Mexico, Guadalupes art brings depth and is so rich in color, culture, and purpose. Shellebrate is a reflection of Guadalupes story and a gift to the world.
If you were to ask me to explain Guadalupe in one word I think I would use the word peaceful. As you listen to Guadalupe share I believe that you will hear that peaceful presence through these words and through this story.
From the first conversation I hade with Guadalupe to when we sat down this past week to record this podcast there has always been this common thread and desire to pursue connection and unity in our world..despite language barriers, belief systems, genders, religion, whatever, at the end of the day we are all connected and although sometimes tough, connection really is a gift!
You can learn more about Guadalupe & Check out Shellebrate here!
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Going into this episode I knew a few things about Melissa. I knew that she was a bad ass, single momma, who got pregnant at 18 and raised a dope 10 year old on her own. I knew that Melissa uses social media to create a space that is authentic and her platform has not only brought encouragement and community for others it is also what allows her to provide for herself and her son.
What I did not know going into this episode is that Melissa would not only share her story she would actually invite me into knowing her and that I would leave with the experience of being known. There is something special that happens when people make the choice to be open and real and that is what you will experience in these 48 minutes. Melissa's story is so much greater than the labels she carries, degrees, or accomplishments. Melissa's story is rich in self worth and a commitment to learning and loving others and herself well.
If you want to continue to learn more, connect, and support Melissa, I would encourage you to find her on social media @Melissaannmariee and If something stands out to you reach out to either of us to let her know!
If you want to check out SHELLEBRATE...you can do that here Letsshellebrate.com
Grab something to drink, maybe a little snack, and get ready to learn a little, laugh a little, cry a little, and learn a lot!
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