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Parker lost his wife, Jordan Lynae Terry, age 28. She passed away December 18, 2023, in Tucson, Arizona from complications incident to childbirth. A perfect full-term baby boy, Mack Jordan Terry, also passed away on December 17, 2023, during the birth. He weighed 9 pounds and 4 ounces, measuring 20 inches in length.
Parker and Jordan planned an at home birth which turned into Parker slowly watching his wife and baby die.
Victoria Alexander says; "There are three needs of the griever. To find the words for the loss, to say the words aloud and to know that the words have been heard." Jordan and Mack passed away about 5 months ago, the strength Jordan has to talk about it is inspiring to me. Thank you for finding the words and saying them Jordan, they will definitely be heard by our 10ninety tribe.
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I talk to Blue about his favorite things about kindergarten and summer.
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June 12, 2019, Colin Campbell was driving with his wife Gail, 17-year-old daughter Ruby, and 14-year-old son Hart. They were hit by a drunk driver. Ruby and Hart were killed, Colin and Gail survived.
Colin and his wife Gail are an inspiration to me. Colin wrote a book “Finding the Words”. It is my favorite book and it’s not close. It has impacted me greatly.
We are posting this episode on the 5 year anniversary of Ruby and Harts death. 🖤🖤Growth in Grief page 266 [Finding the words]
“It is hard for me to talk about anything positive in connection with Ruby and Hart's deaths. I bristle whenever anyone suggests that there is some opportunity for personal growth or deeper understanding as a result of grieving. I don't want to be better for having lost my children. I find the idea repulsive.
And yet it is undeniable that growth can occur after any new ex-perience, especially the most challenging ones. There are good things that have happened to me in the years since they were killed. I have grown as a person. I am stronger, wiser, fiercer, and more empathetic.
I have a deeper understanding of what it means to love someone else.
It helps to acknowledge and embrace the positive changes that now enrich me. With so much despondency in my life, I can use all the positivity I can get.”-Colin Campbell
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Thank you to all our listeners, you guys sent in some questions and we answerd as many as we could.
"Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it."
-Charles R. Swindo
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I chat with my therapist Matt and his wife Brindy. Matt is great at what he does and we connected a lot in therapy. I hope to be a grief therapist one day (if that's even a thing) because of Matt. Matt is really smart and knows a lot of big words in his field but it was how he opened up to me in our therapy sessions about his personal life that helped me so much. It wasn't so much what he said but how well he listened to me and allowed me to feel heard. I think a lot of people, when they see others hurting, want to remove the hurt. Matt was the first therapist that made me feel ok to be completely miserable and angry and sad. In therapy with Matt, I didnt feel like we had expectations or boxes to check. It was more about just allowing myself to feel miserable and to cry about it and to try and talk about it for the first time. Once I felt heard and justified to feel those emotions, it was easier for me to try to understand them and work with them. I now consider Matt and his wife Brindy good friends of mine. We are putting on a event together, July 27th, in honor of my Family and with a desire to help other people deal with grief and other struggles that life provides.
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In this episode I talk with my sister in law Keshia, and my niece Faith about Rider for his birthday. Happy Birthday Rider, we love and miss you so much.
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Shame and guilt are emotions that we all have. We all feel bad for some things we have done or haven't done. It is part of the human experience. I think that is why jesus told those dudes who were trying to stone that lady to death to only throw a stone if you have no shame or guilt. "He without sin" (shame and guilt) cast the first stone.
We have created a culture where we don't talk about shame and guilt, ever. Even though it impacts us all greatly in our day to day life.
Chad drove under the influence as an 18 year old kid, got into a car crash and paralyzed one of his best friends.
Years later, Chad was moving along with life again. Got married, had a family and was doing well despite the guilt he had. Then one day as his family was getting ready for a family vacation he was backing out of the driveway and didnt know his 2 year old daughter Natalie was riding her bike. He accidently hit her, they rushed her to the hospital and then were told that she was gone.
In a world full of people who don't want to talk about shame and guilt, I am proud of Chad for being willing to talk about his. Hearing his story has helped me a lot and I know it will help many of our listeners. As bad as the guilt and shame must be for Chad, he still had one quesiton to answer. What am I going to do about it?
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Jen and her Husband Chad were getting ready for a family vacation when Chad accidentely backed over their daughter Natalie in the driveway. Your life can and most likely will be shattered in an instant one day. What will remain is how you choose to handle it. We appreciate Jen having the courage to tell her story and share how she is handling her grief.
Natalie, you sound amazing. Please go find Riggins and Franki and Rider if you haven't already. They would love to play and watch Frozen with you.
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Clark Fredericks talks about his story. He was raped as a kid, didn’t know what to do, didn’t feel like he could ever talk about it as the years went by. As an adult, he crosses paths with the man that did this to him and it ends in a bloody mess with Clark receiving a life sentence.
Clark has started his own podcast and is telling his story to help others who have been sexually abused not make some of the decisions he did.
I think Clark’s story is a great example of what happens when we don’t talk about our demons, when we burry them deep down. They aren’t going to go away, you can’t starve them to death. Your silence feeds them.
Clark woke up hungover in an isolated prison cell in a straight jacket with a life sentence. That's a really shitty spot to be in, but even in that spot, he had to answer the question… What am I going to do about it?
Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% what you’re going to do about it.
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Went to New Jersey to interview Sara who lost her dad, Kurt Kelly to cancer. Sara had to watch her dad suffer for a really long time. One thing we talked about was how she knew her dad was going to die, could be any day, but when it happened, she still wasnt ready. Nothing can really prepare you for the emotions and feelings of losing a loved one that is so close to you. Sara was also physically shaking a lot through this podcast because she has not talked about her story. Which is silly with her having her own podcast about grief. Focusing on the "we" like Sara does is inspiring. Focusing too much on the "we" can lead to not enough attention and focus on the "me".
It was so cool to be able to let Sara tell her story of her father and focus on her pain. Her dad was such a cool guy and reminds me of my brother Race. He faught to the bitter end, he faught for every second he could get with Sara and his Family. Thank you Kurt for your example, R.I.P.
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On this episode of The 10 Ninety Podcast Mason talks with Jana White. Jana has been a high school psychology teacher and cross country coach for over 20 years. She has trained as a triathlete for most of her life and completed an ironman. Jana is a badass. In 2014 Jana lost her father and mother, Hubert Issel and Alana L. Uibel to a side by side accident. Jana's son Cooper and niece Evelyn were also involved in the accident. Jana worked as an EMT prior to the accident and talks to us about what she did to help save her son's life. Cooper suffered a traumatic brain injury from the accident and his recovery is an amazing story of turning trauma into triumph. Jana talks to us about helping her kids work through life's challenges and never giving up. Jana talks to us about the accident, her journey with grief, and the experience helping her son Cooper with his recovery. Jana is a true hero, not just in that terrible moment with her family, but ever since then, her 90% is inspiring.
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"You may not be responsible for getting knocked down. But you're certainly responsible for getting back up." -Wally Amos Seth Gehle was not responsible for his dad being in prison after trying to kill his mom, his mom being a drug addict and having addicts come and go as they pleased in and out of Seths house and bedroom. Seth found comfort in a adult friend who provided attention, food, shelter and safety. And then this adult "friend" ended up sexually molesting Seth over 300 times as well as raping him. Seth was not responsible for many things in his life, but it is his responsibility to get back up, and I'm not sure how he does it, but he does. Some parts of this episode are gross and will make you sick to your stomach but Seth deserves a place where he can talk about his trauma and all the details that come with it. Imagine being raped as a young boy, and no one wants to hear you talk about it. Not even the good guys want to hear you talk about it. Well, that's dumb. I am glad you felt comfortable sharing your story Seth. Love you man.
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This month is National Child Abuse Prevention month. Zeke Pike is 6'4 and has lots of muscles, he was one of the top football recruits in the entire country going into his senior year. Could have gone anywhere, chose Auburn because Cam Newton just won the National Championship and Heisman trophy when Zeke was deciding where to go. He was told he was going to be the next Cam Newton.
Zeke opens up about how he got into drugs and self-destructed his opportunity with football time and time again. Zeke Talks about how he was molested as a child and what that demon he kept buried for so long turned into.
If you think avoiding your trauma, not talking to that demon you have within, will cause it to go away, you are wrong. It's just getting bigger and stronger until one day, it will take over and consume you. Zeke is a good example of that. Thanks for opening up Zeke, love what you're doing with your 90% now.
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In this episode of The 10 Ninety Podcast Mason talks with Samie and Andrew Hardman. On February 10, 2022 Samie and Andrew lost their son Drayke Andrew Hardman to suicide. They talk about Drayke's love for basketball, his kind heart, the day of and the battle in the hospital while Drayke was in a coma, the Hardman's journey with grief, and what we can do to help kids who are being bullied.
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Jillian Tinkel lost her husband and son in a car accident nearly a year and a half ago. She is simply a hero of mine. After seeing and talking to people like Jillian I have felt much less alone, much less crazy, and much more normal. It also kind of gave me a type of measuring stick I could look at. People like Jillian and Kuri Bolger who had had on previously, they are kicking ass. Jillian somehow is back at work as a teacher at the same school her son went before he passed away. Not sure how she does it. I basically do public speaking gigs and podcasts and in between those moments it's a real struggle. In bed a lot still. Jillian's story inspired me to get a job, so I don't mope around so much. I am now a pool boy as my day job and I love it. Thanks for your example, Jillian and so sorry for your loss of Randy and Korbin.
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In this episode of The 10 Ninety Podcast, we sit down with Amanda Hurst. Amanda lost her husband, Clever Hurst, to suicide on June 5th, 2020. Mason and Ryan talk with Amanda about the persistent taboo surrounding suicide and the need to recognize signs of depression in those we care about. They discuss the experience Amanda had being married to Cleve for 12 years, the nuances between grief and depression, and the crucial importance of reaching out for help if you're experiencing suicidal ideation.
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On this episode of the 10 Ninety Podcast we talk to Tim and Becky Graff for the second time. To hear the full story about the day they lost their daughters you can go back and listen to episode 20. On May 11, 2020 Tim and Becky lost their two daughters Ellie and Kinsley to a flash flood while hiking through Little WIldhorse Canyon. During this episode we talk about what Tim and Becky are doing 4 years later and what they do to manage their grief.
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On this episode of The 10 Ninety Podcast we talk again with Tyson Holt. We talk about Tyson's divorce, Tyson's decision to get sober and the importance of being vulnerable and talking with your partner about your emotions.
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On this episode of the 10 Ninety Podcast Mason talks with his life long friend Tyson Holt. Tyson talks about the experiences he had growing up with his parents that struggled with drug abuse and financial instability. Mason and Tyson talk about how even our closest friends sometimes are not expressing what's actually going on in their life. Tyson opens up about the difficulty of losing his Mom who felt like the only anchor in his life. He talks about the importance of therapy and how much that has helped him after the traumas that he experienced in adolescence and young adulthood.
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On this episode of The 10 Ninety Podcast Mason and Ryan talk to Mitch Whetman. If you haven't heard Mitch's story go back and listen to episode 15 where we first talk about Mitch's sister Whitney. Whitney passed away from suicide on July 16, 2010. Mitch said in the first episode we recorded with him that when you lose a loved one, "they die in pieces." Since our last interview Mitch got married and had his first baby, and son, Nashton Bret Whetman. On this episode we talk about the difficulty of accepting the good things happening in your life when your loved ones aren't there to witness it. We talk about what we do to tap into the idea of We>Me and we talk about Mitch's spiritual journey while walking with grief.
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