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Do you look in your bank account and wonder where all your money has gone? We asked our listeners for the small ways they save and and budget every month to make money less of a mystery.
Molly and Blaire discuss:
Blaire's amazing Poshmark selling skills
Why it's important to pay yourself first
Sinking funds
Investing a little bit of time in some of these solutions reaps big rewards budget-wise, so seriously, start eensy teensy tiny. Look in your fridge to see what you need to use up before going to the store. Join Facebook Marketplace or your local "Buy Nothing" group. Budgeting is a muscle that you have to exercise consistently in order to get good at it, so give yourself some grace!
Here are all the resources we mentioned in the episode!
Here's the original thread in the What Fresh Hell Facebook group
Flipp
Fetch Rewards
Receipt Hog
ibotta
YNAB (You need a budget)
Mint
eMeals
FB Marketplace or your local "buy nothing" groups
Mercari
Poshmark
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What does it mean to have "happy motherhood?" And is it even a realistic goal to have, given the ups and downs of being a parent? We asked our listeners about their tips to help new parents have a "happier" first year.
Molly and Blaire discuss:
The perils of Mom Instagram
Ways to make extra room for joy in your early motherhood
How to sit in discomfort
Managing your expectations was a key theme in the answers we got - so many moms want everything to be perfect, so they are inevitably disappointed when they don't get their twins out the door in matching outfits every single morning! But guess what? No one is perfect, even though it may seem every other mom on Earth has it more together than you.
Join our Facebook group for more advice, laughs, and support: www.facebook.com/groups/whatfreshhellcast
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How do we get our kids away from screens without breaking the bank or planning elaborate outings? Erica Domesek's new book "P.S. - We Made This!" has plenty of ideas for kids' crafts that require zero shopping, zero traveling, and zero (okay, minimal) stress.
Erica Domesek is a social media maven, and an extremely cool + crafty parent! She is the founder of the innovative DIY lifestyle brand P.S.–I Made This, which launched in 2009. She has been a distinguished expert in the areas of design and style as well as a leader in brand marketing for 15 years. PS.–We Made This: Super Fun Crafts that Grow Smarter and Healthier Kids follows in the footsteps of her first two books, offering similarly creative and colorful at-home projects– but now invites the whole family to join in the fun!
Molly, Blaire, and Erica discuss:
Being artistic vs. being crafty
How to use what you have around the house for crafts rather than buying materials
Here's where you can find Erica:
https://psimadethis.com/about
@psimadethis
@abramsbooks
Buy Erica's book: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781419756108
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So is it cool to drop off your kid at his friend's house for a playdate and then go home for an hour and take a nap? No? That's bad playdate etiquette? Ok, just checking. Here are some playdate do's and don'ts for when your little one finds a friend.
In this episode, Molly and Blaire discuss:
How playdates help your child develop
How to find possible playmates in suburban versus urban areas
Good practices for both hosting and visiting someone else's house for a playdate
Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:
Nicole Yezzi for First Things First: "Four things to consider when setting up a playdate"
Maureen Ryan for Verywell Family: "Attending or Hosting a Play Date for Toddlers"
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Self-care can sound like another chore. Seriously, who has time for a bubble bath? And is that really the best use of 20 free minutes, assuming we had them?
But as Haley Jena points out in this article for What To Expect, self-care isn’t selfish. It's what we need in order to keep going as parents. It's not optional.
In this episode, we discuss what definitely doesn’t work for us, what kind of does, and what we’re going to start (like reading actual books and not just our phones).
Here are links to some writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode:
Moira Lawler for Everyday Health: What Is Self-Care and Why Is It So Important To Your Health?
Forbes: Practicing Self-Care Is Important: 10 Easy Habits To Get You Started
Haley Jena for What To Expect: 19 Self-Care Ideas for Moms That Aren't Just 'Take a Shower'
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Why are little kids obsessed with the most random things? If your little one has ever insisted on sleeping with a hairbrush, or going to preschool every morning with the same tiny school bus clenched in her fist, you know exactly what we're talking about.
Turns out, kids' brains at this age are wired for what psychologists call "extremely intense interests." These obsessions offer dependability; order and control ,in a world where our kids don't have much of either; and even social icebreaking, since that other 3-year-old playing with dinosaurs is probably just as interested in a deep-dive discussion of their many types as your kid is. In the case of construction vehicles and garbage trucks, there's also "cathartic destruction," and who can't use a little of that when they're having a bad day?
In this episode, Blaire and Molly discuss their own kids' extremely intense interests and why they make their little ones tick.
They also refer to the "Dinosaurs and Trains and Superheroes and Nerf Guns: Boy Obsessions" episode of What Fresh Hell, which you can find here: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/dinosaurs-and-trains-and-superheroes-and-nerf-guns-boy-obsessions/
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It's easy to blame and shame ourselves when we make parenting mistakes, no matter how big or how small, especially as moms. Here's how to break the blame/shame/guilt cycle for yourself and how to model self-forgiveness for your kids.
Molly and Blaire discuss:
Santa's naughty kid hotline
How to sincerely apologize
What our childhood patterns around mistake-making can teach us
How you treat yourself after your own mistakes becomes how your kid treats himself when he makes mistakes. And showing honesty and compassion to yourself in front of your kid when you make a mistake can actually build a stronger bond with your child.
Links! (they all come in threes today!)
Kate Kripke for Postpartum Women's Center of Boulder: "3 Steps That Turn Your Mistakes in Motherhood into Wins"
Lisa Appelo for iMom: "3 Steps When You Make Mom Mistakes"
Brandi Michel for MomLifeHappyLife blog: "3 Things To Do Immediately After a Making a Major Mommy Mistake!"
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In this episode, Blaire and Molly pal around with their comedian friends Kate Zelensky and Cody Lindquist. They exchange knock-knock jokes, lament about times they bombed with their kids, and discuss a certain compelling performance of "Memory."
Kate Zelensky started a career in comedy in 2006 at The Upright Citizens Brigade having finally figured out that she wasn’t so good at musical theatre (though Molly disagrees, as we discuss in the episode!). Kate taught, performed, wrote and directed all around that joint for a dozen years. She dabbled in TV and Internet humor content but is best known for a Chuck E. Cheese commercial in which she played a mother of two pre teens - one of whom barfed pepperoni pizza all over the place because he refused to use the spit bucket. Kate got married and had two babies and now works full time as a vending machine for them.
Cody Lindquist is an actress, voiceover actress, and comedian. She is the co-host of the podcast Two Beers In: A Tipsy Political Roundtable and the mom of two tiny New Yorkers.
Links to resources mentioned in the episode:
Dru Sefton for The Washington Post: "How Families Share a Sense of Humor"
Kate's heart-wrenching rendition of "Memory"
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Sharing is caring, right? We were all raised to believe that sharing is an important part of polite social interactions. But as adults, we would be taken aback if abruptly asked to share something we were using, like our phone. So why do we insist that our kids share toys with complete strangers at a moment's notice? Here's when– and why– it's ok NOT to share.
Molly and Blaire discuss:
The difference between making kids share and encouraging them to share
What forced sharing teaches kids
What to say to turn-giving kids and to waiting kids when encouraging sharing
Role-playing with your child to practice polite yet assertive behavior is a great way to start the conversation about when and why it's appropriate to share.
Links!
Positive Parenting Solutions: "It's OK Not to Share"
Heather Shumaker's book It’s OK NOT to share…and Other Renegade Rules for Raising Competent and Compassionate Kids
Positive Parenting Solutions: "Why a Feelings Wheel Supports Your Positive Parenting Journey"
Little Timer app
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We asked the #todpurgs listeners: what are the things your parents said that you SWORE you'd never say to your own kids– and yet still do? You all brought the answers... and here are some of our faves.
#parentingonrepeat #YouGotMcDonaldsMoney
Here is the link to the article Molly and Blaire reference in the episode:
Charlotte Hilton Andersen for Redbook Magazine: "21 Things Parents Used to Say That Would Shock Millennial Parents"
Special thanks to our sponsors:
Masimo Stork provides continuous & accurate tracking of your baby's health data. Go to MasimoStork.com for more info.
Skylight Frames is a touchscreen photo frame you can send photos to, straight from your phone, and they appear in seconds! Get $15 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go SkylightFrame.com/TODDLER.
KiwiCo - Unwrap super fun science, technology, and art projects for kids with KiwiCo. Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/TODDLER.
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Any one who has had a toddler knows the terror that surfaces whenever a lovey (let's say Mr. Bunny) goes missing.
About 60% of babies adopt some sort of transitional object at around 9 months old. This is when little ones start to separate from parents (and, in fact, when they begin to understand that their parent is a separate person). Once a kid bonds with "Mr. Bunny", you may worry they'll be taking him to college. But there are ways to gently wean your child off comfort items in time.
In this episode, Molly and Blaire discuss:
Why comfort items are a sign of healthy growth
How to start the weaning process
Why there will be ups and downs as kids learn to live without their comfort items
Here are links to some of the resources referenced in this episode:
Alice Allan for La Leche League International: "Comfort Items and Attachment Parenting"
Lindsey Konkel for What to Expect: Why Do Some Babies Need Comfort Items (Or "Transitional Objects")?
Marnell Jameson for Parents.com: "6 Tips for Weaning Your Child's Comfort Object"
Special thanks to our sponsors:
Masimo Stork provides continuous & accurate tracking of your baby's health data. Go to MasimoStork.com for more info.
Skylight Frames is a touchscreen photo frame you can send photos to, straight from your phone, and they appear in seconds! Get $15 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go SkylightFrame.com/TODDLER.
KiwiCo - Unwrap super fun science, technology, and art projects for kids with KiwiCo. Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/TODDLER.
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We asked our listeners what they would pay good money for if it made their lives just a touch easier. The answers....will probably not surprise you.
In this episode, Molly and Blaire plot to patent:
Self-buckling seatbelts
Eyeball cameras
Toddler volume buttons
Thanks to everyone who wrote in with their excellent ideas for these inventions!
Special thanks to our sponsors:
Masimo Stork provides continuous & accurate tracking of your baby's health data. Go to MasimoStork.com for more info.
Skylight Frames is a touchscreen photo frame you can send photos to, straight from your phone, and they appear in seconds! Get $15 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go SkylightFrame.com/TODDLER.
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“Making memories” with our kids is always a fraught proposition, but when they’re checking for the elf every morning and whipped into a general holiday frenzy, the tears and tantrums are often pretty close to the surface.
Child specialist Merete Kropp says we can reset the “gimme gimmes” by teaching our kids that giving and receiving are reciprocal actions. By explain the gifts you’re giving to others, and the intentions behind them, kids can focus more on the joy of giving than their own expectations. At least sometimes.
It’s always worth doing what we can to soften into the joys of karaoke Christmas carols and driving around looking at the lights. When we create memories with our children, the true gifts we are giving them are the tools to become who they are. There is so much fun and joy in the surrender of being just a little bit silly.
Here are links to some writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode:
Merete Kropp for Washington Post On Parenting: What children need even more than presents this holiday season
Samantha Parent Walravens for HuffPost: 8 Ways To Teach Your Kids An Attitude Of Gratitude This Holiday Season
@busytoddler on Instagram
Special thanks to our sponsors:
Masimo Stork provides continuous & accurate tracking of your baby's health data. Go to MasimoStork.com for more info.
Skylight Frames is a touchscreen photo frame you can send photos to, straight from your phone, and they appear in seconds! Get $15 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go SkylightFrame.com/TODDLER.
KiwiCo - Unwrap super fun science, technology, and art projects for kids with KiwiCo. Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/TODDLER.
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Why is it that kids are so darn honest? Turns out the "filter" that the rest of us try to apply to our everyday interactions just doesn't exist in our young ones. Their little brains aren't capable of fabricating lies like older kids and adults. And, as we all know, the constant honesty of little kids is a double-edged sword.
Listeners wrote in with some of the most ruthless truths their toddlers have voiced, and man oh man, kids really can be frank!
In this episode, Molly and Blaire discuss:
How little toddler brains are wired for truth
How to model honesty for kids
'Good and bad' versus 'truth and lies'
Here are some of the resources mentioned in today's episode:
Lizzy Francis for Fatherly: "How to Raise an Honest Kid (But Not a Narc)"
Brook Bolen for Vice: "Behind the Brutal Honesty of Drunks and Toddlers"
Special thanks to this month's sponsors:
Masimo Stork provides continuous & accurate tracking of your baby's health data. Go to MasimoStork.com for more info.
Skylight Frames is a touchscreen photo frame you can send photos to, straight from your phone, and they appear in seconds! Get $15 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go SkylightFrame.com/TODDLER.
KiwiCo - Unwrap super fun science, technology, and art projects for kids with KiwiCo. Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/TODDLER.
Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER.
Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order.
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Mom tribes and parent posses: do we need friends who are also fellow parents? If we don’t have a group of those, how do we set about finding or creating one?
70% of moms agree that their “inner mom circle” is their primary means of daily support. Some of us find that soft place to fall really quickly, and some of us struggle, for reasons that are in and/or out of our control.
In this episode we discuss
how to create our own mom tribe– or parent posse– and what expanding our friend circle beyond just female parents can bring
our own bumpy experiences finding mom friends, and why it was hard at first
how the pandemic has made it harder
how text and Facebook connections can be really helpful too
Speaking of virtual mom groups and parent posses– join us in the What Fresh Hell Facebook group! and tag us: #toddlerpurgatory
Here are links to some of the writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode:
Dr. Sarah Blaffer Hrdy: Mothers and Others: The Evolutionary Origins of Mutual Understanding
Coffee and Carpool: 10 Easy Steps For Introverts To Find New Mom Friends
Jenna Autuori Dedic for Parents: How to Make New Mom Friends During the Pandemic
Special thanks to our sponsors:
Masimo Stork provides continuous & accurate tracking of your baby's health data. Go to MasimoStork.com for more info.
Skylight Frames is a touchscreen photo frame you can send photos to, straight from your phone, and they appear in seconds! Get $15 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go SkylightFrame.com/TODDLER.
KiwiCo - Unwrap super fun science, technology, and art projects for kids with KiwiCo. Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/TODDLER.
Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER.
Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order.
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Are we creating unrealistic expectations when we praise our kid just for waking up in the morning? Turns out there is too much of a good thing, but we can also reframe how, when, and why we praise our kids.
Molly and Blaire discuss:
Praising process over achievements
The three s's of praise
Praise inflation
Kids can sense when praise isn't genuine. Instead of congratulating them on their every action and creating an unrealistic standard for praise in the future, focus on encouragement without value judgement or "I" statements.
Links!
Paul L. Underwood for The New York Times: "Are You Overpraising Your Child?"
Ashley Cullins for Big Life Journal: "The Ultimate Guide to Praising Your Kids"
Special thanks to this month's sponsors:
Masimo Stork provides continuous & accurate tracking of your baby's health data. Go to MasimoStork.com for more info.
Skylight Frames is a touchscreen photo frame you can send photos to, straight from your phone, and they appear in seconds! Get $15 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go SkylightFrame.com/TODDLER.
KiwiCo - Unwrap super fun science, technology, and art projects for kids with KiwiCo. Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/TODDLER.
Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER.
Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order.
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How do we protect our kids from negative images about bodies, diet culture, and food without locking them in a Rapunzel tower? The truth is, we can't. But we CAN start nonjudgmental conversations about body positivity, food, and and self-esteem with our kids at home.
In this episode, Molly and Blaire discuss:
how to pay attention to your thoughts and beliefs around food and body image
how to praise your child for things other than their appearance
the R.E.A.L. acronym
Links to the resources mentioned in the episode:
Sumner Brooks for Good Housekeeping: "How to Raise a Kid Who Is Satisfied With Their Body, According to a Registered Dietitian"
Carolina Public Health Magazine: "Survey finds disordered eating behaviors among three out of four American women"
Bodies are Cool by Tyler Feder
Special thanks to this month's sponsors:
Masimo Stork provides continuous & accurate tracking of your baby's health data. Go to MasimoStork.com for more info.
Skylight Frames is a touchscreen photo frame you can send photos to, straight from your phone, and they appear in seconds! Get $15 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go SkylightFrame.com/TODDLER.
KiwiCo - Unwrap super fun science, technology, and art projects for kids with KiwiCo. Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/TODDLER.
Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER.
Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order.
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Why are kids so weird about washing hands and brushing teeth and taking baths?
How often do kids really need to bathe, anyway?
Is hygiene a battle worth fighting? Yes. Sometimes. In this episode we discuss the expert advice on how often kids need to get clean, plus our own tips for making it fun or interesting enough that our kids will go along with it.
Here are links to some writing on the topic that we discuss in this episode:
Susan Stiffelman for HuffPost: My 5-Year-Old Won’t Wash His Hands!
What To Expect: Resisting Bathtime
Dr. Claire McCarthy for Harvard Health: Does your child need to bathe every day?
Colgate: How To Help a Child Who Won’t Brush Their Teeth
Special thanks to this month's sponsors:
Masimo Stork provides continuous & accurate tracking of your baby's health data. Go to MasimoStork.com for more info.
Skylight Frames is a touchscreen photo frame you can send photos to, straight from your phone, and they appear in seconds! Get $15 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go SkylightFrame.com/TODDLER.
KiwiCo - Unwrap super fun science, technology, and art projects for kids with KiwiCo. Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/TODDLER.
Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER.
Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order.
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When we hear our kids say something negative about themselves, sometimes we freak out a little. Where did they hear this? Where is this coming from? Who is messing with my baby? !
Most often, if a kid calls herself “stupid” because she’s frustrated with homework, she might just be venting. Or joking. She might be showing us that she has a little rigidity around perfection.
But when negative self-talk is insistent, consistent, and persistent, it can also be a sign of stress or anxiety.
In this episode we discuss how to better understand our kids’ negative self-talk, and the most productive ways of responding. There’s a bonus: turns out most of those strategies also work for our own “No, are you kidding? I look horrible, the pandemic has aged me a decade!” moments.
Here are links to two resources we discuss in this episode:
Andrew M.I. Lee for Understood: Why Kids Say Negative Things About Themselves
https://www.understood.org/articles/en/child-negative-self-talk
@transformingtoddlerhood on Instagram
Special thanks to this month's sponsors:
Masimo Stork provides continuous & accurate tracking of your baby's health data. Go to MasimoStork.com for more info.
Skylight Frames is a touchscreen photo frame you can send photos to, straight from your phone, and they appear in seconds! Get $15 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go SkylightFrame.com/TODDLER.
KiwiCo - Unwrap super fun science, technology, and art projects for kids with KiwiCo. Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/TODDLER.
Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER.
Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order.
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If only it were as simple as singing "Kumbaya" with our kids in a calming circle and sprinkling them with kindness dust to make them sweet, polite angels. You may never receive handmade flower crowns from your toddler, but there are ways to introduce kind thoughts, feelings, and actions into your home.
Molly and Blaire discuss:
Why you can't "teach" kindness
How kindness begins with our own self-reflection
Strategies for bringing more kindness into your home
Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:
Claire Lerner of Lerner Child Development: "When Kids Act Mean: Why some kids have trouble being kind and what you can do"
From Janet Lansbury's podcast Unruffled: "My Child Is So Mean to Me"
Sarah Aadland for Motherly: "Raising kind kids: 9 daily habits to teach kids kindness"
Special thanks to this month's sponsors:
Masimo Stork provides continuous & accurate tracking of your baby's health data. Go to MasimoStork.com for more info.
Skylight Frames is a touchscreen photo frame you can send photos to, straight from your phone, and they appear in seconds! Get $15 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go SkylightFrame.com/TODDLER.
KiwiCo - Unwrap super fun science, technology, and art projects for kids with KiwiCo. Get your first month FREE on ANY crate line at kiwico.com/TODDLER.
Hungryroot is the easiest way to get fresh, high-quality food delivered to your door. They’ve got healthy groceries and simple recipes, all in one place To get 30% off your first delivery and free veggies, go to Hungryroot.com/TODDLER.
Magnetic Me was created to make dressing easier with magnetic closures. No snaps, no buttons…no fuss You can try Magnetic Me for yourself by visiting magneticme.com and using code TODDLER for 20% off your next order.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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