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This first episode in a two-part series explores Tulisa's inspiring journey, through a turbulent childhood with family mental health challenges, to achieving widespread fame through her career with N-Dubz and X-Factor.
This powerful conversation explores Tulisa's personal encounters with trauma and sexual assault, while highlighting her incredible resilience and self-belief, offering a path of empowerment and hope for those in similar situations.
Please be aware that this episode discusses sensitive topics, including sexual assault and self-harm.
If you or someone you know needs support, please see the charities below:
The Survivors Trust: https://g2ul0.app.link/sqvZqaAesPb
MIND: https://g2ul0.app.link/d72yzu7jJOb
Follow Tulisa Here:
Tulisa's Instagram: https://g2ul0.app.link/Cv7G7DkesPb
Follow me here:
https://www.instagram.com/needtotalk
https://www.tiktok.com/@weneedtotalkpod
Sections:
00:00 Introduction to the Series
02:22 Growing Up in Camden: A Personal Journey
05:20 Family Life in Camden: Tulisa’s Childhood Explored
07:14 The Complex Relationship Between Tulisa and Her Mother
10:34 Tulisa's Role as a Caregiver: Personal Stories
13:16 Mental Health Struggles in the Family: Tulisa's Insights
14:50 Advice to My Younger Self: Tulisa Reflects
16:47 Tulisa’s Father and Mungo Jerry: A Musical Legacy
21:35 Understanding Attachment Styles with Tulisa
25:27 First Love: Tulisa’s Early Romantic Experiences
26:58 Tulisa’s Initial Sexual Encounters: A Candid Discussion
29:09 Exploring Spirituality with Tulisa
32:22 Addressing Sexual Assault: Tulisa's Harrowing Experience
36:15 True Love in Relationships: Has Tulisa Experienced It?
39:16 Wishing for a Different First Time: Tulisa's Regrets
41:31 Adobe Express Advertisement
42:29 Tinder Advertisement
43:26 Paul’s Love for N-Dubz: A Fan’s Perspective
47:39 The Impact of Dappy on Tulisa’s Life
51:03 Coping with Uncle B’s Death: Tulisa’s Experience
55:07 Celebrating Platinum Records: Tulisa’s Achievements
57:47 Tulisa Discusses Her History with Self-Harm
01:01:54 Class and Music: How It Shaped N-Dubz's Reception
01:08:30 Starting on X-Factor: Tulisa's Initial Impressions
01:12:36 Reality TV Exposed: The Fakeness Behind the Scenes
01:14:12 Support Among X-Factor Judges: Tulisa’s Experience
01:16:42 The Controversial 'Tape' Incident: Tulisa's Story
01:27:57 Wrapping Up: Final Thoughts
01:28:26 Teaser for Episode 2: What's Next?
Sponsored by:
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“I Thought Therapy Couldn’t Help” - Join us in this powerful episode featuring Daniel Middleton, better known as DanTDM, the UK’s most-followed YouTuber with over 29 million subscribers.
Dan shares the untold story behind his rise to fame — from navigating childhood challenges such as social anxiety and the divorce of his parents, to his struggle with severe postnatal depression during early fatherhood.
Learn how Dan overcame his mental health struggles through therapy and his advice on how to protect ones mental health through difficult times.
If you’re affected by anything discussed in this episode, please contact the below organisations and charities who can provide support:
Samaritans - https://g2ul0.app.link/1CRhatR7mPb
CALM - https://g2ul0.app.link/YvmzhM17mPb
MIND - https://g2ul0.app.link/d72yzu7jJOb
Follow Dan here:
YouTube - https://g2ul0.app.link/tjSbVHz7mPb
Instagram - https://g2ul0.app.link/MEkgFAI7mPb
X - https://g2ul0.app.link/341f8KC7mPb
Follow me here:
https://www.instagram.com/needtotalk
https://www.tiktok.com/@weneedtotalkpod
Sections:
00:00 Introduction To The Episode
02:16 Being Compared To Michael Jackson
02:46 The Origin Of The Name “Dan TDM" Explained
03:34 Balancing Two Personalities
04:33 A Look Back At Dan's Childhood
05:27 How Divorce Shaped Dan's Childhood
07:46 Surviving Secondary School
12:53 How Dan Started His YouTube Career
16:43 What Is Minecraft? A Beginner’s Guide
18:32 How Minecraft Transformed Dan's Life
21:18 When Dan Realized YouTube Could Be A Career
22:49 Transitioning To Full-Time YouTube
27:07 Why Dan Is One Of YouTube's Most Successful Creators
34:48 Breaking Down The 2017 Forbes Article On Dan
37:56 How Dan Coped With Sudden Fame
42:33 Managing Fame As An Introvert
44:06 Why Dan Is A Positive Role Model For Fans
44:59 Dan’s Impact On His Young Audience
47:39 Behind The Scenes Of Dan's Live Show
51:17 Inside Dan's Relationship With His Wife
54:20 Why Dan Got Married At 21
55:26 How Dan's Wife Influenced His Success
58:43 How Becoming A Father Changed Dan's Life
01:01:26 Huel Sponsorship
01:02:28 Tinder Ad Spot
01:03:24 Dan Advocates For Men’s Mental Health
01:06:16 Struggling With Mental Health During Lockdown
01:09:18 Hitting Rock Bottom
01:10:55 Dan's Honest Experience With Anti-Depressants
01:12:05 Dan Opens Up About Suicidal Thoughts
01:15:21 How Dan Shared His Feelings With His Wife
01:17:45 Exploring Why Dan Felt The Way He Did
01:20:01 What Early Fatherhood Taught Dan
01:24:10 How Therapy Helped Dan Overcome His Struggles
01:27:11 Creating YouTube Content While Battling Depression
01:31:06 How Being A Man Shapes Dan’s Views On Mental Health
01:34:18 Dan’s Advice For Those Struggling With Mental Health
01:36:38 What’s Next For Dan? Future Plans Revealed
01:41:38 Is Being A YouTuber A Sustainable Career?
01:44:07 Dan’s Top Tips For Growing A Successful YouTube Channel
01:46:43 How Many Subscribers Does Dan Have Today?
01:47:02 Dan’s Most Memorable Conversation Ever
01:49:48 Key Takeaways From This Episode
01:52:33 Adobe Sponsorship
Sponsored by:
Adobe: https://www.adobe.com/uk/express/
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Huel: https://huel.com/paul/ use code PAUL -
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“If he upsets me - I get gifts!”
In this episode, best-selling author and activist Chidera Eggerue (aka The Slumflower) joins us to discuss her transformative ideas on love, relationships, and self-worth.
Known for creating the viral #SaggyBoobsMatter movement, Chidera challenges traditional heteronormative expectations and encourages women to recognise their inherent value, demand more from their partners, and create more equal, empowering relationships.
With her provocative insights on love, money, and equality, she provides listeners with practical tools to break free from societal norms, set higher standards in their personal lives, and reclaim their power.
Follow Chidera Here:
https://g2ul0.app.link/T3GIV2Y0bPb
Follow me here:
https://www.instagram.com/needtotalk
https://www.tiktok.com/@weneedtotalkpod
00:00 Intro
00:02:13 History Of Chidera's Moniker 'Slumflower'
00:04:30 Growing Up In Peckham/'Little Lagos'
00:08:00 Chidera Cutting Her Mum Off And Ensuing Therapy
00:10:57 Chidera's Relationship With Her Father
00:13:11 Chidera's Early Romantic Relationships
00:14:31 Was Chidera Loved By Anyone In Her Childhood/Adolescence?
00:16:04 Chidera Has Never Had A Man At Her Flat
00:17:31 How Chidera's Ideology Developed Over Time
00:24:45 The Traditional Idea Of Love Is Damaging To Women
00:27:31 What Does Love Mean To Chidera?
00:29:25 Love, Feminism And Finance
00:31:04 Chidera's Thoughts On The Male Loneliness Epidemic
00:32:15 Is Chidera An Advocate For Marriage?
00:33:41 Why Does Society Struggle With Finance When It Comes To Romance?
00:41:49 Men And Self-Esteem/Ego
00:45:19 'Marriage Is The Lowest Paid Form Of Sex Work'
00:55:10 Huel Ad
00:56:12 Tinder Ad
00:57:06 Chidera's Definition Of Hypergamy
00:59:40 4B Movement
01:07:01 Chidera Being 'Grey A-Sexual'
01:11:29 Chidera On BDSM And Being A Dominatrix
01:16:14 How Do These Relationships Start?
01:22:17 Chidera's 'Goddess Gina' Alter Ego
01:27:46 A Letter From 'Slave Tux'
01:37:51 Critiques Of Chidera
01:41:24 Most Memorable Conversation
01:46:57 Paul's Takeaways
01:49:10 Fiver Ad
Sponsored by:
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Fiverr: https://fvrr.co/paul/ -
Appearance Was A Big Part Of My Childhood:
Join Megan Barton-Hanson, a former Love Island finalist and one of the top creators on OnlyFans, where she shares her incredible journey from being severely bullied in her younger years, to becoming a global advocate for sex positivity and empowerment.
Megan opens up about the challenges she’s faced, from overcoming societal misconceptions about sex work to building a multi-million-dollar career rooted in authenticity and resilience.
With candid reflections on love, self-worth, and breaking free from judgment, Megan’s story is a powerful reminder of the strength it takes to own your narrative and defy outdated norms.
Follow Megan here:
Instagram https://g2ul0.app.link/ep1wbj4jJOb
Follow me here:
https://www.instagram.com/needtotalk
https://www.tiktok.com/@weneedtotalkpod
If you’re affected by anything discussed in this episode, please contact the below organisations and charities who can provide support:
Women's Aid https://g2ul0.app.link/WyCdvWWjJOb
Refuge https://g2ul0.app.link/pmZkBsOjJOb
NUM https://g2ul0.app.link/sosyTb1jJOb
MIND https://g2ul0.app.link/d72yzu7jJOb
00:00 Intro
2:11 Megan’s Childhood: Growing Up In Southend-On-Sea
3:20 Megan’s Relationship With Her Parents During Her Youth
4:19 Megan’s Brother: Their Bond And Memories
5:39 Highlights Of School Life And Living In Southend
6:59 Megan’s Struggles With Bullying At School
10:30 Who Supported Megan Through Her Bullying Experiences?
12:23 Megan’s Early Views On Intimacy And Self-Worth
13:55 When Did Megan First Experience Sexual Intimacy?
15:22 Megan’s Journey To Realizing Her Sexual Orientation
16:30 Megan’s First Lesbian Relationship: A Personal Story
21:46 Megan’s Cosmetic Surgery Experience: Why She Did It
24:02 How Megan Started Her Career: A Look Back
25:18 Megan’s Experience Working As A Stripper
27:59 Defining ‘Sex Work’: Megan’s Perspective
29:43 Was Megan Truly Happy While Working As A Stripper?
30:40 Megan’s Journey To Becoming A Love Island Contestant
32:47 Lessons Megan Learned About People From Her Time At The Strip Club
35:42 What Megan Discovered About Herself During Her Early Career
37:26 How Megan Got Cast On Love Island
39:31 How Megan Earned Money Before Joining Love Island
40:36 Why Megan Decided To Go On Love Island
41:43 Did Megan Have A Game Plan For Love Island?
42:52 Life After Love Island: Megan’s Story
44:21 Finding Love On Love Island: Megan’s Experience
46:12 Navigating Fame: Megan’s Life In The Public Eye
54:00 Megan’s Brother’s Mental Health Struggles
56:15 Why Megan Joined Celebs Go Dating
58:11 Facing Skepticism About Her Sexuality: Megan’s Response
1:00:22 When Paul Realized Megan Had Feelings For Demi
1:03:19 How Megan And Demi’s Relationship Ended
1:05:41 Adobe Ad
1:06:36 Tinder Ad
1:07:39 Megan’s Current Dating Life: What’s Happening Now?
1:10:48 What Megan Wants In An Ideal Partner
1:12:48 Inside Megan’s Hinge Profile: Dating In The Digital Age
1:15:19 Megan’s Worst Experiences With Men: Lessons Learned
1:20:19 Megan’s Charity Work And Giving Back
1:29:33 Challenges Megan Has Faced In Relationships With Men
1:36:12 Megan’s Journey As A Successful Businesswoman
1:41:51 Why Megan Is A Top Creator On OnlyFans
1:43:12 The Most Unusual Requests Megan Has Received On OnlyFans
1:44:44 Funny And Unexpected OnlyFans Stories
1:46:32 Is OnlyFans Considered Pornography? Megan’s Take
1:52:27 Is Megan Truly Happy Now? A Reflection
1:55:27 Megan’s Most Memorable Conversations
1:57:21 Key Takeaways From Megan’s Journey
2:01:11 Huel Ad
Sponsored by:
Adobe https://www.adobe.com/uk/express/
Tinder https://tinder.com/en-GB
Huel https://huel.com/paul/ use code PAUL -
Do younger partners make you happier?
In this episode, Cindy Gallop, founder of Make Love Not Porn, shares her bold perspective on living authentically and challenging societal norms. From rejecting pressures to marry or have children to embracing the joy of dating younger men, Cindy redefines intimacy and celebrates individuality.
Drawing on her successful advertising career and groundbreaking work in reshaping conversations about sex and relationships, she offers insights on breaking free from conventional expectations to live a uniquely fulfilling life.
Tune in for an inspiring conversation that encourages you to rethink what it means to live on your own terms.
Follow Cindy Here:
Cindy's Instagram https://g2ul0.app.link/neknglRJJOb
MakeLoveNotPorn Instagram https://g2ul0.app.link/ANV19lVJJOb
MakeLoveNotPorn Fundraiser https://g2ul0.app.link/3nwgfqdMJOb
Support MakeLoveNotPorn Here:
https://www.wefunder.com/makelovenotporn
Follow me here:
https://www.instagram.com/needtotalk
https://www.tiktok.com/@weneedtotalkpod
00:00 Introduction: Who Is Cindy Gallop?
02:02 What Does "Cindy’s Brand" Really Mean?
03:45 How Cindy Views Herself vs. How The World Sees Her
04:25 How Cindy’s Background Shaped Her Authentic Self
06:28 Steps To Embracing Your Authentic Self
09:00 Breaking Down The Most Harmful Societal Norms
12:07 Has Cindy Ever Experienced True Romantic Love?
13:47 Why Cindy Isn’t Focused On Finding Romantic Love
15:44 Why Young Men Are Choosing To Date Older Women
17:51 What’s The Age Gap Between Cindy And The Men She Dates?
20:56 Why Cindy Gallop’s Relationships Are Different From Love
24:53 Will Traditional Ideas About Love And Family Ever Change?
25:47 How To Stop External Pressures From Influencing Your Choices
27:19 The Dangerous Myth Of “The One” In Relationships
28:44 How Cindy Maintains Successful Relationships With Younger Men
35:25 Debunking The Myth Of The “Nuclear Family”
37:58 Advertising’s Misrepresentation Of Age And Its Impact
42:34 Is “Make Love Not Porn” Competing With Mainstream Porn?
46:26 Why Cindy Created “Make Love Not Porn” And Its Mission
53:16 What Is The Social-Sexual Revolution “Make Love Not Porn” Aims To Spark?
58:49 How “Make Love Not Porn” Differs From Mainstream Porn’s Addictive Traits
01:02:18 Cindy Gallop’s Definition Of True Consent
01:05:23 Can Sharing Your Sex Life Help Correct Misconceptions About Sex?
01:08:11 A Look At Paul’s Research On “Make Love Not Porn”
01:11:21 Cindy’s Innovative Approach To Educating Young People About Sex
01:13:42 How And When Parents Should Talk To Kids About Sex And Porn
01:16:15 Inside The “Make Love Not Porn” Academy
01:22:03 Cindy Gallop’s Most Memorable Conversations
Sponsored by:
Fiverr: https://fvrr.co/paul
Huel: https://huel.com/paul/ use code PAUL
Tinder: https://tinder.com/en-GB -
Paul sits down with Dr. Karen Gurney, a renowned psychologist and sex expert, to explore the topic of intimate relationships and sexual satisfaction.
From demystifying the concept of being "good in bed" to unpacking the historical biases shaping our perceptions of sex, Dr Karen provides a refreshing perspective that prioritises emotional connection and individual fulfilment.
Join us as we tackle key topics such as the orgasm gap, the complexities of sexual compatibility, and the impact of cultural myths on our intimate lives.Dr. Gurney offers practical advice for fostering meaningful conversations about sex, building trust, and embracing the full spectrum of pleasure. Whether you're navigating a long-term relationship or exploring casual connections, this episode is a thought-provoking guide to cultivating a healthier, more fulfilling sex life.
Follow Dr Karen Here:
Instagram - https://g2ul0.app.link/MU8rewKCxOb
Karen's Book 'Mind The Gap' https://g2ul0.app.link/4i3z7QkDxOb
Karen's Book 'How Not to Let Having Kids Ruin Your Sex Life' https://g2ul0.app.link/YjgD9soDxOb
Follow us here:
https://www.instagram.com/needtotalk
https://www.tiktok.com/@weneedtotalkpod
--
00:00 Introduction
1:16 How External Influences Impact Your Sex Life
1:52 What Is Sex And Why Does It Matter?
3:07 The Essential Rules Of Sex Everyone Should Know
5:49 Understanding The Sexual Scale: Where Do You Fit?
7:42 The Truth About Sexual Compatibility: Does It Exist?
10:14 Good Sex Vs Bad Sex: How To Tell The Difference
15:37 Rating Sexual Pleasure In Different Scenarios
18:08 The Truth About Orgasms And Society's Expectations
21:06 What Is The Orgasm Gap And Why It Matters
27:32 1st PTC (Post Topic Commentary)
28:17 Does Penis Size Actually Matter?
31:47 Why Society Is Obsessed With Penis Size
34:02 The G-Spot: Myth Or Reality?
36:22 Are Fetishes Becoming More Common?
37:33 Is Pornography Helpful Or Harmful In Today's World?
40:49 2nd PTC (Post Topic Commentary)
41:27 Sex Today Vs Past Generations: What’s Changed?
45:11 The Future Of Sex: Robots, AI, And Beyond
47:23 Huel Sponsorship Ad
48:25 Fiverr Sponsorship Ad
49:35 What Is The Kinsey Scale And Why Does It Matter?
52:22 Sexual Currency Explained: Why It's Crucial In Relationships
1:00:40 How To Build Sexual Currency In Your Relationship
1:01:58 3rd PTC (Post Topic Commentary)
1:02:41 How To Make An Invitation For Sex More Inviting
1:04:16 How Sleep Impacts Your Sex Life
1:05:10 How Often Should You Be Having Sex?
1:09:16 How Long Should Sex Last For Maximum Pleasure?
1:15:08 How Conscientiousness Influences Your Sex Life
1:19:20 What Is Self-Expansion And How It Improves Relationships
1:22:44 When Is Lack Of Sex A Valid Reason To Leave A Relationship?
1:27:37 How A Strong Sexual Connection Benefits Your Relationship
1:29:40 Why Understanding Sexual Anatomy Is So Important
1:34:28 Can Having Sex Make Someone More Physically Attractive To You?
1:37:53 The Most Memorable Conversation About Sex
1:41:58 Key Takeaways From This Discussion On Sex
1:43:55 Tinder Sponsorship Ad
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Sponsored by:
Huel: huel.com/paul use code PAUL
Fiverr: https://fvrr.co/paul
Tinder: https://tinder.com/en-GB -
Toni Tone and Taiwo Ogebule share the transformative journey that has redefined their approach to love and relationships.Through overcoming personal challenges, cultural pressures, and managing a long-distance romance, they reveal how a foundation of trust, mutual respect, and deep emotional connection has kept their bond strong.
Together, they challenge conventional narratives around attachment, masculinity, and "struggle love," showing how self-discovery and resilience create a partnership that goes beyond expectations.
Follow Toni Here:
Toni's TikTok: https://g2ul0.app.link/JazIAMKurOb
Toni's Instagram: https://g2ul0.app.link/sFCGcJOurOb
Follow Taiwo Here:
Taiwo's TikTok: https://g2ul0.app.link/0wuUp8WurOb
Taiwo's Instagram: https://g2ul0.app.link/pUhyd2SurOb
Follow Me Here:
https://www.instagram.com/needtotalk
https://www.tiktok.com/@weneedtotalkpod
00:00 Introduction to the Episode
03:04 Dating Culture Differences: USA vs. UK
05:15 Toni and Taiwo’s Relationship Histories
06:18 How Relationships Can Impact Attachment Styles
11:06 How Toni and Taiwo Met: Their Love Story
16:22 Toni’s Viral Tweet After Their First Call
16:53 Understanding Demisexuality: What Does It Mean?
18:23 Tips for Maintaining a Long-Distance Relationship
20:46 Managing Conflict Across Borders: Toni and Taiwo’s Approach
25:49 The Biggest Misconceptions About Our Relationship
29:51 What Makes a “Good Man” in Modern Dating?
30:55 Shopify Ad
31:54 Huel Ad
33:25 What Is Gut Instinct and Why It’s Important in Love
35:37 Breaking Down “Struggle Love” and Its Impact
38:51 Can a Strong Woman Really Intimidate Men?
49:00 Our Most Memorable Conversations Together
54:24 Key Takeaways from Paul
56:59 Tinder Ad
Sponsored by:
Shopify: www.shopify.co.uk/needtotalk
Huel: huel.com/paul use code PAUL
Tinder: https://tinder.com/en-GB -
In this episode, we sit down with Dr. Judith Joseph, a leading psychiatrist and mental health expert, to explore high-functioning depression and anhedonia—two often-overlooked mental health conditions that can profoundly affect both personal well-being and relationships.
Dr. Judith shares her insights on how people may appear to have everything under control while silently struggling, and she provides practical advice for identifying these hidden signs and managing them effectively. With her clinical background and deep understanding of trauma and attachment issues, Dr. Judith offers listeners tools to foster self-awareness, resilience, and healthier connections.
Whether you’re dealing with these challenges yourself or supporting someone who is, this conversation will equip you with valuable strategies for navigating the complexities of these struggles.
Follow Dr Judith Joseph here:
Instagram - https://g2ul0.app.link/CWNtxBUHfOb
Dr Judith Pre-Order Link: https://g2ul0.app.link/JOBEG4qIfOb
Dr Judith Anhedonia Quiz: https://g2ul0.app.link/iKrl1RxIfOb
Follow me here:
https://www.instagram.com/needtotalk
https://www.tiktok.com/@weneedtotalkpod
0:00 Intro
0:46 Judith’s Early Life and Background
2:33 Pros and Cons of Being an Immigrant
5:04 Judith’s Strong Work Ethic
6:06 Why Judith Switched to a Career in Psychology
8:45 How Judith Found the Confidence to Change Careers
10:18 Why Judith Chose to Pursue Psychiatry
12:08 What Exactly Is Psychiatry?
13:34 The Role of a Lab in Psychiatry and Why It Matters
15:40 How Race Affects Access to Therapy
18:28 Can You Overdo Therapy?
20:45 Understanding and Defining Trauma
23:38 How the Pandemic Has Shaped Our View on Trauma
24:42 What Is Scarcity Trauma?
25:55 What Happens If You Don’t Address Trauma
27:27 The Key Differences Between Guilt and Shame
28:56 How to Support Someone Going Through Trauma
32:20 What Is Scarcity Envy and How Does It Affect Us?
35:15 High-Functioning Depression Explained
36:38 What Is Depression? Signs and Symptoms
38:06 Ad Break
40:27 Are People More Depressed Than Ever?
42:23 What Is "High-Functioning Depression"?
44:03 How to Check In on Friends and Family
46:51 What Is Anhedonia and Why It Matters
51:33 The Impact of Anhedonia on Mental Health
53:18 Should We Slow Down to Improve Mental Health?
54:55 The 5,4,3,2,1 Exercise for Anxiety Relief
58:20 Procrastination Caused by Worry: How to Manage It
59:10 Should You Stay in a Relationship Where Depression Is Present?
1:01:59 Are We All Somewhere on the Neurodivergent Spectrum?
1:03:48 How to Raise Awareness Without Misdiagnosing Yourself
1:06:07 Taking Control of Your Thoughts
1:08:05 The Cognitive Behavioral Triangle Explained
1:08:47 What Judith Would Tell Her Younger Self
1:09:21 Is Judith Truly Happy?
1:11:23 Judith’s Most Memorable Conversation
Sponsored by:
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Tinder: https://tinder.com/en-GB -
In this exclusive episode, Love Island star Maura Higgins opens up about the intimate and personal aspects of her life journey, shedding light on the emotional challenges she’s encountered since entering the spotlight.
From heartbreak, loss, and betrayal to the pressures of living in the public eye, Maura discusses how embracing vulnerability and practicing self-love have helped her stay true to herself.
In her debut podcast episode, Maura’s story of resilience and personal growth is both empowering and relatable, especially for anyone navigating similar hardships.
This conversation includes sensitive topics such as grief and sexual assault.
If you are affected by anything in this podcast, please use these links to organisations that can offer support:
CALM: https://g2ul0.app.link/uULaUXcM3Nb
MIND: https://g2ul0.app.link/gbuRaxjM3Nb
Follow Maura here:
https://g2ul0.app.link/7kCDv2mM3Nb
Follow me here:
https://www.instagram.com/needtotalk
https://www.tiktok.com/@weneedtotalkpod
—
00:00 Introduction
01:38 Maura Reveals Why She Rarely Shares Her Story
02:45 Why Maura Chose Now for Her First In-depth Interview
03:30 Exploring Maura's Complex Relationship With Her Mother
04:21 Insights into Maura's Childhood Experiences
05:39 Understanding Maura's Relationship With Her Father
08:59 Analyzing Maura's School Life Experiences
12:40 What Was It Like in Maura's Childhood Home?
13:49 Toxic School Experiences: Maura's Story
14:32 Weekends in Maura's Childhood: A Deep Dive
15:11 How Maura's Early Life Influenced Her Adult Relationships
15:58 Maura's Dating Life Beginnings Uncovered
16:25 Maura's First Romantic Relationship Explored
18:24 Maura's Journey to Becoming a Hairdresser
21:09 Maura's Early Days in the Public Eye
22:55 Promotional Segment: Tinder Advertisement
23:48 The Story of Maura and Her Best Friend
26:04 Can Men and Women Be Just Friends? Maura Discusses
28:24 Maura Confronts the Loss of Her Best Friend
35:26 Maura's Lack of Emotional Support from Her Father
36:08 The Truth About Maura's Cheating Ex-Partner
45:50 Maura Discusses Her Experience with Sexual Assault
52:22 Inside Maura's Love Island Adventure
58:54 Exploring Maura's Relationships on Love Island
01:01:34 Public Perceptions of Maura Post-Love Island
01:05:06 Life Changes for Maura After Love Island
01:10:54 Maura's Mental Health After Love Island: A Breakdown
01:25:45 Exploring the 'Triangular Love' Theory
01:27:11 Has Maura Ever Been in a Fulfilling Relationship?
01:29:44 Maura Discusses: What It Means to Truly Love
01:39:49 Maura on Staying Relevant: Career Pressures Post-Fame
01:41:58 Maura's Advice on Relationships
01:43:49 Maura at the BAFTAs: Celebrity Connections Revealed
01:50:41 Most Memorable Questions Asked to Maura
01:53:33 Key Insights from Paul's Interview with Maura
01:56:26 Advertisement Segment: Fiverr Promotion
—
Sponsored by:
Tinder: https://tinder.com/en-GB/
Fiverr: https://fvrr.co/paul -
In this episode, Dr. Gabor Maté, a world-renowned expert on trauma, stress and addiction, reveals how childhood experiences and emotional suppression deeply shape our relationships and overall wellbeing. He explains how unresolved trauma from our early years can lead to stress and challenges in adult relationships, and offers powerful insights on how embracing vulnerability and authenticity can foster healing and transformation in both one's personal life and relationships.
Whether you're dealing with relationship challenges or seeking personal growth, Dr. Maté’s wisdom provides a path to healing and improvement, by understanding the root causes of emotional suppression and learning to live more authentically.
Follow Gabor’s work here:
On Instagram - https://g2ul0.app.link/BHvQI3ZySNb/
..and his latest book, The Myth of Normal - https://g2ul0.app.link/gOaWoFWySNb/
Follow me here:
https://www.instagram.com/needtotalk
https://www.tiktok.com/@weneedtotalkpod
—
00:00 Introduction
01:52 Career Change Tips for Older Adults
04:27 How the Mind-Body Connection Impacts Relationships
11:51 How to Choose the Right Partner for Long-Term Happiness
13:08 Why Authenticity Matters in and out of Relationships
16:19 How Childhood Attachments Shape Your Adult Relationships
18:25 How to Be Your Most Authentic Self the Power of Saying No
28:41 How Social Status Affects Relationships
29:54 Different Types of Stress and How to Manage Them
36:37 Is Your Partner Hurting Your Well-Being
44:54 How to Develop a Secure Attachment in Relationships
49:10 The Health Effects of Avoidant and Anxious Attachment Styles
54:03 The Link Between Addiction and Attachment Styles
01:02:15 What Is Trauma and How Does It Affect You
01:05:41 How Many People Are Living with Trauma Today
01:07:30 How to Heal from Trauma and Move Forward
01:12:02 Important Topics That Need More Attention
01:15:24 Most Memorable Conversations on Relationships
01:17:24 Key Takeaways from This Discussion
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Sponsored by:
Fiverr: https://fvrr.co/paul/
Tinder: https://tinder.com/en-GB/ -
In episode, Paul sits down with Ashley Cain, a former professional footballer and reality TV star, who bravely shares his transformative journey of grief and healing following the devastating loss of his daughter, Azaylia, to leukemia. Ashley opens up about the struggles he's faced, the lessons he’s learned, and the powerful mission he’s now embraced to raise awareness for childhood cancer and men’s mental health.
Through this heartfelt conversation, Ashley discusses the emotional challenges men often encounter and how understanding and addressing these needs can lead to personal growth. We explore the sudden end to his football career, the impact that trauma has had on his life, and how he's used his experiences to help others find strength, even in the darkest of moments.Ashley offers valuable advice on finding happiness, achieving well-being, and transforming relationships—with ourselves and others—through a process of healing.
His work with The Azaylia Foundation continues to inspire people all over the world, offering hope and support to families facing similar tragedies.
Please note: This episode covers sensitive topics like child loss and grief, which may be difficult for some listeners.
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Ashley's Book:
Strong - https://g2ul0.app.link/Ow8Hgaq5HNb
Ashley's Instagram:
https://g2ul0.app.link/SWyyCc2UGNb
Ashley's Charity - The Azaylia Foundation
https://g2ul0.app.link/YP3IHk8UGNb
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Follow me here:
https://www.instagram.com/needtotalk
https://www.tiktok.com/@weneedtotalkpod
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02:19 - How Are You Feeling Right Now?
03:18 - Growing Up Mixed Race: Challenges And Experiences
04:57 - How Race And Upbringing Shaped Ashley's Identity
08:01 - If You Could Change Your Past, Would You?
10:06 - How Football Transformed Ashley's Life
11:42 - Life After Football: Losing Fame And Status
13:49 - Becoming A Dad For The First Time
15:38 - When Ashley Discovered Azaylia's Illness
22:57 - Staying Positive And Advocating For Azaylia's Health
32:35 - How To Cope With Trauma
38:50 - Supporting Men Through Trauma: Advice For Partners
42:08 - The Male Mental Health Crisis: What Needs To Change
50:39 - Shopify And Tinder Ad Break
52:32 - Is Ashley Truly Happy?
54:36 - Ashley's Wellness Journey
56:31 - The 6 Dimensions Of Psychological Wellbeing Explained
01:00:10 - How To Handle Trauma In Relationships
01:02:50 - What Ashley Would Change About His Past Relationships
01:03:27 - Relationship Advice: Loving A Man Like Ashley
01:05:00 - Is Ashley Single Right Now?
01:05:55 - Is Ashley Open To Dating?
01:07:00 - Who Should Make The First Move In Dating?
01:08:00 - Chirpsing Roleplay: How To Approach Someone
01:12:10 - How Opening Up Has Affected Ashley
01:12:46 - The Most Memorable Conversation Ashley's Had
01:15:09 - Paul's Key Takeaways
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Sponsored by:
Shopify - www.shopify.co.uk/needtotalk
Tinder - https://tinder.com/en-GB -
In this episode, Dr. John and Dr. Julie Gottman, world-renowned relationship experts and founders of The Gottman Institute, share their research-based insights into what truly makes relationships work. With over 50 years of research on marital stability and parenting, they dive deep into key issues like how contempt can destroy your immune system, and why certain toxic behaviors—like criticism and stonewalling—are major red flags in relationships.
They also debunk common myths such as "Never go to bed angry" and explain how empathy and emotional intelligence are critical to lasting love.
The Gottmans provide practical advice on how to manage conflict, heal from childhood trauma, and create deeper emotional connections. Whether you're navigating daily disagreements or looking to rebuild trust after betrayal, this conversation is filled with valuable takeaways to help you strengthen your relationship and build a healthier, more fulfilling partnership.
Find the Gottmans here:
The Gottman Institute - https://g2ul0.app.link/H16ipH9ywNb
Instagram - https://g2ul0.app.link/CJZlSOczwNb
Follow me here:
https://www.instagram.com/needtotalk
https://www.tiktok.com/@weneedtotalkpod
Topics:
00:00 - Intro
02:02 - Do People Still Believe In Marriage Today?
09:23 - What Defines A Successful Marriage In Modern Times?
13:09 - What Percentage Of Couples Are Truly Happy In Their Relationships?
15:47 - Inside Paul’s Matchmaking Process On MAFS (Married At First Sight)
17:51 - Are Successful Couples Less Exciting? The Truth About Stability
21:24 - What Is The Love Lab And How Does It Work?
22:38 - Shocking Discoveries From The Love Lab: What Science Says About Love
26:18 - The Power Of The 'Six Second Kiss' In Relationships
29:38 - Do The Gottmans Use Their Own Research In Their Marriage?
32:51 - How Important Is Sex For A Healthy Relationship?
37:46 - Why Date Night Matters More Than You Think
40:37 - The Ingredients Of A Perfect Date: How To Get It Right
43:03 - Paul's Ultimate First Date Test: Does It Predict Success?
45:52 - The Key Principles Of A Successful Marriage Revealed
49:46 - The Top Reason Couples Fight And How To Avoid It
50:45 - The Different Conflict Styles In Marriage: Which One Are You?
55:27 - Is Conflict Good For Your Relationship? Here’s The Answer
57:22 - How Important Is Compatibility In A Relationship?
58:40 - The Questions You Should Ask To Truly Understand Your Partner
01:06:16 - How To Resolve Conflicts And Strengthen Your Relationship
01:08:57 - Should You Stay With A Partner Who Won't Resolve Conflicts?
01:11:10 - Tinder Ad: How Modern Dating Apps Are Changing Relationships
01:12:12 - The Four Horsemen Of Relationships And Why Contempt Is The Worst
01:14:47 - When Is It Time To End A Relationship? Key Signs To Watch For
01:16:24 - What Is Flooding In Relationships And How To Manage It
01:18:46 - How To Self-Soothe When You’re Emotionally Overwhelmed
01:21:17 - Should You 'Never Go To Bed Angry'? The Real Answer
01:22:22 - Can You Rebuild Trust After Infidelity? Here’s How
01:28:33 - How To Know If Your Relationship Is Failing: Warning Signs
01:31:26 - What’s The Most Memorable Relationship Conversation You’ve Had?
01:35:00 - Outro
01:35:28 - Paul’s Final Takeaways On Love And Relationships
Sponsored by:
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In this episode, dance power couple Oti Mabuse and Marius Iepure sit down for their first joint interview.
Together, they share the highs and lows of their relationship, revealing how hey transitioned from dance partners to life partners, and navigated the challenges following their daughter’s premature birth.
Oti opens up about how her obsession with winning Strictly strained their marriage and how Marius supported her during her lowest moment as a professional dancer.
Join Paul for an inspiring conversation about resilience, unwavering support, and the vital importance of showing up for one another in life’s toughest moments.
Oti's Instagram: https://g2ul0.app.link/EyHZ8NAnjNb
Marius's Instagram: https://g2ul0.app.link/Qc1t4kFnjNb
Oti and Marius' Website: https://g2ul0.app.link/SrgkUdenjNb
Follow me here:
https://www.instagram.com/needtotalk
https://www.tiktok.com/@weneedtotalkpod
Sections:
00:00 - Introduction
02:17 - Why Share Your Private Life Now?
04:48 - How Childhood Lessons Shape Your Life Today
13:25 - Building Strong Connections Despite Differences
17:49 - How Dance Brings People Together
21:35 - The Global Impact of Afrobeats and Dance
24:58 - Redefining Masculinity in African Culture
28:12 - Navigating Power Dynamics in Modern Relationships
32:44 - Why Failure and Rejection Are Essential for Growth
36:10 - How Setting Boundaries Transforms Your Life
40:23 - Does Fame Change Who You Are?
44:56 - The Pressures of Being a Role Model
49:12 - How to Stay True to Yourself in a Demanding World
53:39 - Your Path to Self-Acceptance and Confidence
58:27 - Why Mental Health Should Be a Priority
01:02:14 - How Vulnerability Can Empower You
01:07:06 - Living Authentically in a Digital Age
01:11:35 - Mastering How to Handle Criticism
01:16:02 - How to Find Inner Peace in a Busy World
01:20:47 - Discovering Your Life's Purpose
01:25:33 - Overcoming The Fear Of Being Judged
01:29:50 - How to Become Your Best Self
Sponsored by:
Tinder - https://tinder.com/en-GB -
We Need To Talk: In this thought-provoking episode, relationship expert and coach Sadia Khan openly shares her own perspectives on modern dating, masculinity, and the evolving nature of intimate relationships.
Paul and Sadia dive deep into the impact of the sexual revolution, which Sadia believes has led to a decline in masculinity among men and an enhancement of masculinity in women.
They also examine how adult media platforms like Only Fans are eroding intimacy, while fuelling infidelity in modern relationships.
Sadia shares her beliefs on the importance of being a 'high-value man’ and offers her perspective on whether non-monogamous relationships can truly work within the structures of marriage.
By the end of this conversation, listeners can expect to gain a deeper understanding of the struggles in modern dating, the challenges young men face, and the reasons why many modern relationships are failing, all while exploring the conflict between traditional values and today’s evolving dating culture.
Learn more about Sadia’s work here: https://g2ul0.app.link/SadiaKhan
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00:00 - Introduction
01:59 - The First Time You Felt Love
03:07 - Are You A Feminist Or Misogynist? Discover Your True Self
03:37 - Sadia's Journey Through Love And Relationships
05:18 - Why Infidelity Is A Major Fear In Relationships
08:37 - How The Sexual Revolution Transformed Modern Dating
11:10 - Defining Masculinity: What It Means Today
13:06 - Do Men Really Only Want Sex?
14:50 - Exploring Paul's Love Life And Intimacy
18:47 - How Feedback Can Strengthen A Marriage
21:19 - The Dangers Of Pornography On Relationships
23:36 - Are There Any Benefits To Watching Porn?
26:09 - Are Polyamorous Relationships Destroying Dating Norms?
27:20 - Is Marriage The Right Choice For Everyone?
32:42 - Is OnlyFans Changing The Face Of Modern Dating?
36:52 - Perspectives On OnlyFans: Empowerment Or Exploitation?
43:54 - What Is The Narcissistic Movement? A Deep Dive
45:11 - How Ethnicity Affects Your Dating Preferences
46:17 - Are Women Becoming More Narcissistic?
48:06 - Does Racial Preference In Dating Make You Racist?
49:59 - Colonialism's Impact On Modern Dating Preferences
50:49 - The Two Types Of Men According To Sadia
53:11 - Dating Advice For Single Men Looking For Love
55:12 - The Biggest Red Flags Men Should Avoid
58:12 - What Makes A Woman Truly Attractive?
01:03:01 - How Wellbeing Influences Partner Choices
01:07:26 - Why Men React Negatively To Attractive Women
01:07:53 - How Jealousy Affects Self-Worth In Relationships
01:10:12 - How Sadia Handles Negative Comments Online
01:12:01 - Paul's Biggest Takeaways From The Conversation
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Tinder: https://tinder.com/en-GB -
We Need to Talk: In this episode, Paul dives into the critical role status plays in our relationships. He explores why couples engage in "status games" and how our evolutionary drive for status impacts our pursuit for sexual partners.
His guest this week is Will Storr, award-winning journalist and Sunday Times bestselling author of The Status Game, The Heretics, Selfie, and The Science of Storytelling.
Together, they unpack how understanding status can help us build stronger, long-lasting relationships.
Learn more about Will Storr's work here: https://g2ul0.app.link/lV7aQOFvTMb
(00:00) Introduction
(1:30) What Is Status and How Do We Define It?
(2:23) Why Is Status So Important in Modern Society?
(2:58) 1st PTC
(3:22) How Status and Connection Impact Happiness
(4:15) The Role of High Status in Tribal Societies
(5:52) How Status Shapes Our Identity
(6:56) The Difference Between Superficial and Meaningful Connections
(10:20) 2nd PTC
(11:44) Are We Doomed to a Culture of Doom and Gloom?
(13:30) How to Handle the Loss of Celebrity Status
(16:17) Navigating Multiple Status Games in Life
(18:32) Sponsor - Tinder
(19:33) The Link Between Status and Suicide: What You Need to Know
(21:31) How to Support Someone Losing Their Status
(22:24) 3rd PTC
(22:54) Is Modern Dating Being Destroyed by Dating Apps?
(24:41) Does Social Media Affect How We Behave in Real Life?
(26:16) How Status Displays Differ in Hookups vs. Serious Relationships
(30:23) 4th PTC
(31:41) What Is 'Detect and Protect' Mode in Relationships?
(34:44) Why We Crave Connection with the Same People
(38:18) Why My Partner and I Decided Not to Have Children
(42:51) How Childhood Unhappiness Can Lead to Adult Success
(44:22) How to Overcome Jealousy and Insecurity in Relationships
(45:48) Why Loving Yourself Is Key to a Healthy Relationship
(48:56) The Most Meaningful Conversation I’ve Ever Had
(51:42) My Biggest Takeaways From This Discussion
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Tinder: https://tinder.com/en-GB -
We Need To Talk: In this episode, we uncover the untold truth behind TV superstar Lauren Goodger. Lauren, a TV icon, entrepreneur, and mother, rose to fame on The Only Way is Essex (TOWIE) from 2010 to 2012 and made a much-anticipated return in 2024.
For the first time, Lauren opens up about her personal journey—reflecting on her relationships, the intense scrutiny of high-profile romances, and how she found self-love through life's many evolutions.
In her own words, Lauren reveals her path to healing and growth, offering listeners a candid look at her struggles and triumphs. We hope her story not only brings healing to Lauren but inspires others to talk more openly about mental health and overcoming tragedy.
Follow Lauren here: https://g2ul0.app.link/i2ghg6YrMMb
(00:00) Intro
(02:07) When Was The First Time You Fell In Love?
(05:36) Your First Serious Relationship Revealed
(09:04) The Most Challenging Moment In Your Relationship With Mark
(11:05) The Beginning Of TOWIE: How It All Started
(12:12) A Turning Point In Your Journey
(13:12) How TOWIE And Fame Affected Your Relationship With Mark
(17:36) Why People Are So Intrigued By You
(18:24) The Real Reason You Broke Up With Mark
(21:42) Lauren And Mark: Why They Stopped Speaking
(22:49) Reflecting On Major Life Events
(23:39) Your Second Relationship With Jake After Mark
(26:35) How To Pick The Right Partner
(27:17) Breaking Up With Jake, What Really Happened
(31:12) Your Relationship With Joey
(34:13) What Attracts You To Bad Boys?
(36:44) How You Earned Thousands From A Photoshoot
(39:01) Why You Started OnlyFans And What It Meant To You
(42:36) Your Relationship With Charles: The Truth
(45:26) The Emotional Impact Of Having An Abortion
(47:07) The Journey Of Becoming A Mother
(47:59) Why It Takes So Long To Get To Know Someone
(53:40) The Tragic Loss Of Your Unborn Child
(59:30) Feeling Lonely, How You Handled It
(01:00:58) Steps To Recover From Trauma
(01:03:17) The Three Essential Groups We Need In Life
(01:07:43) What You Did To Change Your Life For The Better
(01:13:12) What You Would Tell Your 12-Year-Old Self
(01:13:51) The Most Impactful Conversation Of Your Life
(01:16:07) Why You Want People To Know The Real You?
Sponsors:
Tinder: https://tinder.com/en-GB
Shopify: www.shopify.co.uk/needtotalk -
Paul C Brunson, the world’s most influential matchmaker and TV star, brings his insightful commentary on how to create and sustain successful relationships through vulnerability, connection and understanding. From weekly conversations with industry experts and familiar faces, Paul promises to support your personal growth, provide practical insights, and deliver actionable advice that will add value to your relationships.
