Danish and O'Neill

Danish and O'Neill

United States

Danish and O'Neill are the 23rd ranked comedy duo in the nation, 59th in the world, and 107th in the galaxy. Their podcast, aptly named Danish and O'Neill, is in the top one million podcasts regularly. They co-created, wrote, and directed a web series called Daddy Knows Best and perform their stand up comedy worldwide, spreading joy and deviancy wherever they go.


Episode 78: Iron Mermaidin'  

Hey, weenies and weenettes, it's another episode of Danish and O'Neill, and this one's extra special cause our old pal, Andrew DeWitt, joins us in studio. O'Neill starts us off on the right foot by discussing the touching gift his family gave him for Christmas. Then, we break down an article that takes us into a magical world of people who don't see themselves as human. Hint: they like to swim and frolic and swimming pools, puddles, and other bodies of water. Then, we talk some mukbang, the art of web cam eating that is taking over South Korea. After that titillating story, we talk about Pakistan's "Hulk-man". This guy has a bright future. Listen safely and please don't run with lollipops in your mouths.

Episode 77: Daisy Dux  

We start off this week's episode with O'Neill as skeptical as ever. He doesn't believe that a muscular man with a mustache had a bald eagle on his arm in an airport (despite video evidence that shows said event happening). Danish gives an update about his battle over his holiday flight from hell. After that, we head to O'Neill's home state of Indiana to tell a beautiful feel-good story about a strip club and church. Next, we detail the world of competitive kegeling. Come on, everybody, start competing! Then, it's time to gather your children around for a long story that blows O'Neill's mind and may have ruined his life. And no, it's not about mountain lions. Then, it's a grab bag of grab-ass. Shinpei, everyone. Shinpei.

Episode 76: The Rabbit in the Tailpipe  

In the first actual episode of 2017, Danish and O'Neill unleash some serious audio ass whippery. Right off the bat, we learn that O'Neill's mother isn't a snitch. We also learn that Australians don't call farts "farts". Danish goes over his flawless holiday vacation, leaving no detail unturned. After that, we put our investigative reporting hats on to expose people scamming the support animal industry. O'Neill details a NYE wedding he attended that was full of horses. Danish tells a tale that proves his old man has been holding out when it comes to unbelievable animal tales. O'Neill recommends a film. Danish discusses a potentially nefarious story that could involve GSP (allegedly). There's some VERY brief NFL talk. We get into what happened to Ronda Rousey in her last fight. O'Neill reads some classy fan emails. There's even some post show Steven Seagal talk. What else do you want? Nothing. Well, maybe a 2017 horse calendar. But hey, you can't always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, well you might find. You get what you need. Toodles, poodles.

Episode 75: Pocket Pinball Wizard  

Happy new year, everybody. To start the year off right, Danish and O'Neill cooked up one humdoozy of a show. O'Neill shares breaking Bushman news. Well, not really, but there is a "where's Bushman" update, which is a lot harder than Where's Waldo ever was. Speaking of updates, we talk some Nick Diaz. In a story that's right in the Danish and O'Neill wheelhouse, we discuss a security guard visibly pleasuring himself under his khakis on an NFL field, as he stands about five feet away from cheerleaders. We pay homage to the inventor of the Heimlich Maneuver and discuss a beautiful eulogy for one hell of a man. We try to tackle Dikembe Mutombo's full name (just like his dingus...it's a mouthful...allegedly). The Danish thinks he found O'Neill's soulmate and tells him about her. We also tackle a story about what could be the most annoying support animal ever. In yet another story, we talk about two brave women thwarting an armed robber with sex toys. O'Neill shares a listener's harrowing tale of never farting in front of her man and vice versa. Danish shares an old hunter's advice about fighting a big cat. Breaking Danish and O'Neill science coverage: we discuss an article about why humans evolved to the point where a penis bone was no longer necessary. O'Neill discusses an insane fitness plan for 2017. We end the show with some solid Seagal banter and sound clips. Live it. Love it. Llama it.

Episode 74: Jumbo Mutombo  

Shinpei, everyone and welcome to yet another episode of Danish and O'Neill. We recap our weekend hanging out with GSP and his bff David Loiseau. Then, we get into a GREAT story about fan favorite, Dikembe Mutombo. The audio is just gold, baby. After that, we discover that someone we know is working on the Bill Cosby trial. For you gearheads, there's some O'Neill automotive talk. For the first time ever, we have a Razor Ramon story on the show. About damn time! Then, we get to what you guys all know and love: some hardcore mountain lion talk (or cougar, whichever nomenclature you prefer). There's a quick Seagal update. O'Neill has a shocking tale to tell about his family. Danish discusses something that happened at the Y that really upset him. There's some other shenanigans as well. Farty on, Wayne.

Episode 73: Christmas 'n Criminals  

Awwwww yeah, you and your mother's favorite podcast is back for another great week of content. We come out of the gate HOT with a story about a young North Carolina boy's run-in with a Santa. Next, we get to a mannequin challenge that resulted in some arrests. Keeping with the theme of criminals, we discuss a story about a woman who gave cops more than they bargained for when they arrested her. Next stop, Delaware, for a sex shop that has a Santa outside, so kids can take pics with him. After that, there's a LONG awaited Gary Keillor update! Then, right back to criminals for a Walmart round-up. O'Neill refuses to admit that Indiana is losing it when we talk about a story out of Bloomington. Danish discusses some sauna chemistry. We also discuss the story of a woman whose last name is Hotlodes who loves nachos. We close the show with some brief MMA talk. Enjoy the show, ya weirdos.

Episode 72: Harvey  

This week's show comes (with an "o") live from Raleigh, North Carolina, where we were doing a road gig. We open the show discussing a story of bad showmanship from the world of weightlifting. Next, we get into our bread and butter, some good old fashioned mountain lion talk. After that, we stay on the animal path (not like that!) with a saaaaad, sad story about a couple and their dog, Harvey. Then, the action continues with a new "job" we think will generate lots of revenue. O'Neill does some farm talk, and he gets to participate in his first ever Y report. Enjoy the show, and keep the change, ya filthy animals.

Episode 71: Space Chimps  

Well hello, loyal listener. Apparently, you've come (with an "o") back for more creamy Danish and O'Neill goodness. On today's episode, O'Neill tells about his run-in with coyotes. Next, we discuss Nick Diaz's appearance on the Opie Radio Show. After that, we congratulate our favorite actor, Steven Seagal, on getting his Russian passport. We follow up on an item from last week's show: the prestigious toy hall of fame. We also report on a GREAT new game available on your phone. For our next two tricks, we discuss some school related topics. After that, we find that NASA has issued a challenge and think we're the men for the job. A long awaited Y report is given, and it's juuuuuuuicy. Long live the lambada.

Episode 70: The Pork Pony  

Episode 70: The Pork Pony by Danish and O'Neill

Episode 69: Back to the Horse Future  

Hola. Como estas? On this very special episode of Danish and O'Neill (episode 69), we get into all sorts of shenan-foolery (new hybrid word I just made up). We report on some "shinhai" follow up. O'Neill is upset about 60 Days In, while Danish is deeply saddened. Danish presents O'Neill with two more Halloween tampering cases. Will he deny the truth??? We then discuss this UNBELIEVABLE video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=9&v=gEDaCIDvj6I Riding a wave of martial arts, we then break down UFC 205 and discuss our thoughts on Connie Mac. Danish presents a new segment called "reading the day-to-day calendar". Danish shares a story about terrorist owls. Finally, it's a return to an article about horses (you know what I'm saying, wink wink). And there's more, but you'll find out when you listen. Hakuna matata.

Episode 68: Shingpie  

Wow, what an exciting episode we have for you this time, folks. What did we discuss? Well, thanks for asking. Once again, O'Neill vehemently DENIES foreign objects EVER being put in candy during Halloween. Then, we discuss the craziest incident that happened during a surgery in Japan. A shocking Guy Fieri revelation is made, and we come full circle with the "super duper weenie wagon". O'Neill angrily describes a neighbor dispute over boobie gazing allegations. Some super secret D+O business is discussed (shhhhh). There's some brief 60 Days In discussion, and it's just an overall rollickin' good time. Oh, one last thing. SHINGPIE!

Episode 67: Why, Scottie, Why?!?  

In this riveting Halloween episode, we provide many tricks and treats. We start off by telling about some "interesting" experiences we've both had lately. O'Neill talks about what it's like to be a hero (you'll see). We discuss a clown story from Stockton! O'Neill takes a closer look and weighs in on if he thinks the story is a hoax or not. Later, we give a 60 Days In update that will BLOW YOUR MIND (make sure you're sitting down for this one). We go over two stories about gaming and the pitfalls one can run into in a virtual world. We also discuss another teacher of the year candidate. There's even some random sports talk (MMA included). Listen to the end for celebrity cameos. Good day to all and happy Halloween! (apologies for the Danish mistakes this episode...he is currently whipping himself to repent)

Episode 66: Who's Your Grandaddy  

Wow. What an episode you're in store for today, dear listener. Right off the bat, O'Neill rights a wrong by reading an email that he somehow overlooked. How could we possibly follow that?!? Well, there's only one way: by reading a listener haiku that's based on something we discussed last episode. We then get into a discussion about "creepers". Next, we ponder where Bushman could be and play a VM Danish left for him. After that, we give everyone a REAL treat by introducing them to Australian Batman. In honor of Halloween being nearly upon us, Danish goes over some common hazardous items in candy, which O'Neill dismisses as "urban legend". Speaking of O'Neill, he details hiking incident 48. The talk of nature got us into some brief owl talk, which led O'Neill to read an email from yet another listener who's a bird expert, and he opposes the first "expert's" opinion. From Barb's cubicle comes (with a "u") a fantastic story that will make you think twice about dating the elderly via online dating sites or otherwise. There's a quick Danish nightmare update, an article about the side boob being over, and more discussion of Halloween on college campuses. This episode is both a trick and a treat. Enjoy, ya filthy goblins.

Episode 65: Oakland Dumping  

In this rollicking episode of D+O, we discuss lots of important topics that will help strengthen you emotionally and intellectually. We give an update to the children fighting in Chechnya story. We also put out an APB for the Bushman (has anyone seen Richie...or the Bushman?). If so, let us know (is it important? OF COURSE!). We shout out a special listener and some 209'ers. We also give Alex Trebek's new in-your-face style RAVE reviews. We recap our time spent with Bert Kreischer on the Bertcast. We discuss a story about a British man who's chasing down clowns to reassure scared children. O'Neill gets into his rash of bad luck and ponders seeking the help of a shaman to purify his soul. Danish discusses his newfound automotive skills and tells of some weird things that have been happening to him. We also get into a story about Oakland dumping. We finish strong with a story that checks all the D+O boxes. Enjoy this episode. It will increase your IQ by at least 40 points. You're welcome. Tits yeah!

Episode 64: ZZ Top of the Food Chain  

Welcome to episode 64! Now that we got that out of the way, let's get down to the meat and potatoes of this week's episode. We discuss the weird trend of clowns scaring people across the United States. After that, O'Neill details yet another wild romp in Griffith Park as part of the O'Neill night hike series. Also, two O'Neill Awards for Valor are given out to well deserving recipients. We break down children's MMA in Russia and whether it's a good idea or not. A very quick round of the Guy Fieri is brought back from the dead! Will O'Neill get the right answer???? Such agonizing suspense. O'Neill puts on his street stethoscope and gives an update of one of his "patients". Lastly, a long overdue Y update is given. Fuck yeah to you and yours.

Episode 63: Pronoun Police  

Gather around, boys and girls, cause we've got a podcast for your ears. In this episode, we come (with an "o") out of the gates hot with some congratulations and the debut of a new Bushman inspired song by a listener. We follow that up with a horrible song excerpt by Rick Ross. We move and discuss a hoarder story, and a tale of cops being heckled. After that, O'Neill takes exception with pronoun preferences, and we discuss mispronunciations and the lasting effects they can have on one's soul. We offer up a Scottie Maples interview update and talk a little 60 Days In. We also tackle some "hot" cheerleading stories. We end with a quick UFC round-up and the sad tale of a curious man. Hasta la pasta primavera, y'all.

Episode 62: Lick You Where You What?!?  

In this Danish and O'Neill doozy, we discuss a non-story about a comic that Buzzfeed tried to make into a story. O'Neill tells of how he was mishandled at the airport by a rogue TSA employee. We also discuss a teacher, who has an unbelievable gift for using the English language and an Indiana man who was caught sending strange items in the mail. We discuss some serious 60 Days In (come on, Scotty, call into the show!) There's an Eric Hites biking update! We also give Eric some examples of people who are really trying to make changes in their lives. O'Neill shares an "interesting" question that we both weigh in on. Stay tuned until the veeeery end of the song at the end of the podcast. You won't be disappointed. Toodles.

Episode 61: Kumquat to Italy  

In this episode, we're firing on all cylinders. Barbara turned in an MVP performance with stellar articles for us to discuss. Also, if you like air raid O'Neill, this is the episode for you. First, we dissect the most disgusting episode of Hoarders ever. It scarred both of us forever. RIP to the old Danish and O'Neill. Then, we got into the return of everyone's favorite conman doctor, Dr. Love. We also talk about the craziest law ever that was passed in Italy. Seriously, Italy?!? After that, we take North Carolina to task over a license plate dispute. O'Neill flips out about an article about young people not having sex. Lastly, we discuss an article about the college roommate from hell and then do a little post show wrap up. Enjoy it, suckas.

Episode 60: Punkin' Donuts  

In this lovely episode, we have Jerry Rocha join us. We talk about CM Punk's big "fight" debut and our thoughts on the UFC bringing him in with zero fight experience. We discuss a man who passed away, leaving behind an "interesting" collection and another who did something crazy to get away from his wife. Jerry regaled us with crazy tales from the road, and we talk some hot peppers. O'Neill also has a movie recommendation. It's everything you'd ever want and more.

Episode 59: Emotions Get Trapped SO Deep...  

Episode 59: Emotions Get Trapped SO Deep... by Danish and O'Neill

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