Episodes
-
Believe it or not, complex trauma recovery can truly change the course of human evolution. Today on the CPTSD Medicine Podcast, I am breaking down the fourth big idea of CPTSD Recovery and and discussing what it means for the collective to recover from complex trauma. Tuning in, you’ll hear about a conflict I had with my partner, how that acts as an example for changing human evolution, why CPTSD recovery is all energy work, and more! We delve into how your CPTSD work will benefit the collective before discussing how you can ‘do’ complex trauma recovery as opposed to just ‘touring’ it. Finally, I end with a prayer that will remind you to break down any barriers standing in the way of your recovery. Be sure to check out all the exciting things happening in the CPTSD community and thank you for listening in!
Key Points From This Episode:
What is happening in the CPTSD community at the moment.
Introducing myself to newcomers and all about my Held by Tanner Instagram account.
The difference between ‘touring’ recovery and ‘doing’ recovery.
What we are doing for week four of the Amplified Self-Energy Season 12 Challenge.
I share a story that acts as an example of changing the course of human evolution.
The importance of connecting and debriefing with your long-term partner.
Why CPTSD recovery is all energy work and will change the course of human evolution.
How helping yourself helps the collective and the benefits of mentors and coaching.
The ways you can apply complex trauma recovery so you can be part of these changes.
Asking yourself what is standing in the way of your recovery and how you can break past it.
Quotes:
“Complex trauma recovery will indeed change the course of human evolution because we’re changing the energy that’s running individually and collectively.” — Tanner Wallace [13:43]
“Lean in to connect when in distress!” — Tanner Wallace [21:44]
“If there’s a source of dark energy that isn’t stopped at its source, then there’s always going to be complex trauma.” — Tanner Wallace [32:13]
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Students of the Medicine
Tanner Wallace on Instagram
CPTSD Medicine on Instagram
CPTSD Medicine on Facebook
CPTSD Medicine on YouTube
Opt-In to 'The Calling' Monthly Newsletter
CPTSD Medicine Podcast
-
In this season, we’ve been exploring the central teachings of CPTSD recovery, and today, we unpack the third big idea: there is no separation. The concept that there is no separation can be a difficult one to engage with. It requires careful context to ensure that it’s deeply understood and does not unnecessarily trigger our Parts or self-doubt. Therefore, if today’s episode is particularly triggering to some of your Parts, Entities, or Energies, it’s important that you stop, step back, return to daily devotional practices, and skip this episode or revisit it when you are further in your healing journey. For those tuning in, you’ll learn why the idea that there is no separation is foundational to CPTSD recovery. You’ll be invited to contemplate your relationship with your parents in the context of your recovery and the importance of locating them in a much larger narrative. I also reflect on my own healing journey thus far and share what I wish I had done differently, before reflecting on the compassion I feel for my mother today and how healing has allowed me to become a stronger CycleBreaker. To find out why there is no separation and discover the gifts and medicine that come with healing, don’t miss this installment of the CPTSD Medicine Podcast!
Key Points From This Episode:
What is meant by the third big idea of CPTSD recovery: there is no separation.
CycleBreaking and the overarching goal of changing the course of human evolution.
Following us through the Directional Callings and the Energetic Stewardship that needs to happen.
Liminal Directional Calling and why it’s so unfamiliar to us as humans.
The Self-Energetic Frequencies we focus on in Liminal Directional Calling.
Contemplating our relationship with our parents in the context of CPTSD recovery.
Understanding our parents as part of a much larger narrative (and inheritance) of hurt.
Why the most wounded Parts of us need permission to speak the truth.
Regrets from my personal healing journey: speaking publicly about my parents.
Why you might need physical separation from your family during active CPTSD recovery.
Energetic and developmental differentiation and maintaining regulated emotional connection.
Understanding the difference between differentiation and separation.
Blame, humiliation, and separation: elements that go against cycle-breaking.
How healing facilitates CycleBreaking and evolving to the point of being a CycleBreaker
A guided invitation to connect with the essence of your parents.
Quotes:
“We find ourselves in these liminal spaces. I haven't fully released the past, but I also haven't landed completely in the future.” — Tanner Wallace [12:11]
“If we zoom out a little bit, we see ourselves, our children, our parents, our lineage, [and] our ancestors all woven together in a much larger narrative and inheritance of hurt.” — Tanner Wallace [19:45]
“Parts of us have been harmed significantly by our parents not being able, willing, or available to stop the trauma. But they didn't start the trauma. They're swimming in it, along with us.” — Tanner Wallace [20:10]
“Our most wounded Parts need permission to speak the truth. It's an essential part of CPTSD recovery.” — Tanner Wallace [20:35]
“Cycle-breaking is when the threads are repaired, restored, rejuvenated, [and] regenerated: internal attachment restoration and external attachment restoration.” — Tanner Wallace [28:17]
“Let’s neutralize the zing of responsibility so that it's available to us as mature adults on a healing path. Responsibility, accountability: these are the frequencies of cycle-breaking.” — Tanner Wallace [36:37]
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Students of the Medicine
Opt-In to 'The Calling' Monthly Newsletter
CPTSD Medicine on Instagram
HELD by Tanner on Instagram
Tanner on Facebook
CPTSD Medicine on YouTube
CPTSD Medicine Podcast
-
Missing episodes?
-
Welcome back! Your timing is perfect as today, we are re-examining the biggest and most important ideas of CPTSD recovery. Dr. Tanner Wallace uses her professional journey as a case study to highlight the undeniable value of finding your true Personal Power, and she begins the conversation by reminding us of the goals of the CPTSD Medicine Podcast. In line with what this podcast aims to achieve, Dr. Wallace shares the three philosophies that make up the CPTSD Medicine training program, the importance of finding your Source Power, the dangers of Circumstantial Power, the Frequency of Knowing, and how to steward your Identity Energy Center. We also learn about the core concepts of CPTSD recovery, and Dr. Wallace encourages all listeners to engage with the CPTSD Medicine community on all platforms.
Key Points From This Episode:
Dr. Tanner Wallace reminds us of the goals of this podcast and encourages us to engage across all platforms.
Three philosophies that undergird the CPTSD Medicine training program.
Dr. Wallace walks us through her professional journey but this time, from a different perspective.
The importance of finding your source of power and truth.
Understanding the core concept of CPTSD recovery that everything you need to heal is already inside of you.
The Frequency of Knowing; stewarding our Conviction/Identity Energy Center.
Circumstantial Power versus Personal Power.
The Eternal Directional Calling of the CPTSD Medicine healing protocol
A reminder and warning of the damage-potential of Circumstantial Power.
Dr. Wallace calls us to remember and embrace our Personal Power.
Quotes:
“It is my intention that something lands, from what I say today, that completely changes your life. That is the standard we set in the CPTSD Medicine universe.” — Dr. Tanner Wallace [00:36]
“I loved the authenticity of the scientific process; I loved the co-creation of knowledge in small groups.” — Dr. Tanner Wallace [11:00]
“I remember Nicole [Casteel] saying to me in some form or another, ‘This is an opportunity for you to learn where your power is sourced.’ And when she said that to me, it brought me to my knees.” — Dr. Tanner Wallace [25:30]
“Everything you need to heal is already inside of you.” — Dr. Tanner Wallace [28:02]
“If your Identity Center or G-Center is defined, then you know who you are; you always have since birth, and it’s just a matter of owning that identity without compromise, and not entering into implicit contracts with other humans who want you or need you to be somebody different.” — Dr. Tanner Wallace [32:23]
“When we have access to pure Personal Power, everything becomes more stable.” — Dr. Tanner Wallace [34:32]
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Nicole Casteel
Join Students of the Medicine free community
CPTSD Medicine on Instagram
CPTSD Medicine on Facebook
CPTSD Medicine on YouTube
Opt-In to 'The Calling' Monthly Newsletter
CPTSD Medicine Podcast
-
It’s important to have anchoring concepts when we take on the huge transformative process of healing from CPTSD. This is how we remind ourselves why we are doing what we’re doing, especially when things get a little wobbly or uncertain. Season 12 is all about the big ideas of CPTSD recovery. Tune in for a deep dive into what it means to both grieve the fact that no one saved us as children and take responsibility for our own healing as adults. We explore what it truly means to be a Cycle Breaker, and the work required to alchemize the wisdom of healing into CPTSD Medicine to support us on the path to healing. This episode includes practical tools on what to do when we feel Protective Parts coming online as a response to challenges or stress, how to balance, receive, and provide energy to others, and more. Learn how to distinguish the idea of being rescued from the notion of finding support, along with many other key insights to encourage you on your healing journey. Thanks for listening!
Key Points From This Episode:
The value of having big ideas to anchor the process of CPTSD recovery.
How two teachings underpin the structure of CPTSD healing in this community.
A story to introduce the big idea this episode discusses.
Understanding what happens when the proportionalities of the energies you are running shift.
A resource to support the pathway to recovery: Pete Walker’s Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving.
What it truly means to take radical responsibility and understand that no one is coming to save you.
Accepting the mission of being a Cycle Breaker.
What the true resonance of love causes within our lives.
Tanner’s careful study of her belief in God and what it means to her.
Distinguishing between the notion that no one is coming to save you and the idea that no one is going to support you.
Why is it only appropriate for someone to save you when you are a child.
How to respond when Protective Parts are activated as a response to challenges or stress.
Balancing “receiving and providing” energy.
Grieving the past that led to your complex trauma.
A healthy revision of the idea that no one is coming to save you.
How the wisdom of healing is alchemized into CPTSD Medicine.
A blessing to close off this episode.
Quotes:
“For those of you who are familiar with the energy of complex trauma, when your proportionalities of energies you’re running shifts, you’re actually kind of a different person.” — Tanner Wallace [07:53]
“CPTSD recovery introduces an understanding of our humanness that transcends time in a lot of ways.” — Tanner Wallace [13:52]
“If you’re listening to this podcast, you’ve been called to the mission.” — Tanner Wallace [18:18]
“The resonance of love is an energetic force that softens rough edges, restores motivation, that explains things without words, that rights the wrongs without a single action because love is a frequency.” — Tanner Wallace [20:26]
“I want you to listen, learn, and have the wisdom come into your body so that it can become The Medicine.” — Tanner Wallace [38:51]
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Parts of Me TherapyComplex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving
Book A New Client Consultation
CPTSD Medicine on Instagram
HELD By Tanner on Instagram
CPTSD Medicine on Facebook
CPTSD Medicine on YouTube
Opt-In to 'The Calling' Monthly Newsletter
CPTSD Medicine Podcast
-
Welcome to a brand new season of the CPTSD Medicine Podcast! In this new season, we embark on a profound exploration of the central teachings of Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) recovery. I'm thrilled to guide you through each of the 12 foundational principles, and in today's brief introduction, I invite you to prepare your heart and mind for the enlightening journey ahead. As we delve into these big ideas, you'll discover invaluable insights and practical tools to help you navigate your own path toward healing. Throughout the season, we'll uncover the essence of each principle, shedding light on why it's crucial for your recovery journey. I'll also share strategies to help you extract the most wisdom from each episode and integrate it into your daily life, whether through journaling prompts, mindfulness practices, or community support, allowing you to deepen into the medicine that is available to all of us through this podcast. Thanks for tuning in!
Key Points From This Episode:
The overarching theme of Season 12 and why it’s relevant to your recovery.
What you can expect from the upcoming episodes and how to get the most out of them.
Ways to structure your implementation or actions taken from listening to this podcast.
Objectives for the CPTSD Medicine movement and your journey from novice to expert.
A sneak peek of the next episode in the season!
Reasons to join the Students of the Medicine Community.
Quotes:
“When you’re given a [big idea, story, phrase, or memory prompt], it will provide you with key anchors into what’s important – and what you are orienting towards without being so prescriptive that you won’t be able to innovate.” — Tanner Wallace [0:09:11]
“[The CPTSD Medicine movement is] a group of lifelong learners that are intellectually curious, willing to study, willing to put the time in to become an expert but also [know] that, at some point, we have to [step up and ask] as a novice and risk holding Protective Parts.” — Tanner Wallace [0:19:42]
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Students of the Medicine Community
Book A New Client Consultation
CPTSD Medicine on Instagram
CPTSD Medicine on Facebook
CPTSD Medicine on YouTube
Opt-In to 'The Calling' Monthly Newsletter
CPTSD Medicine Podcast
-
During the final episode of our season on partnership in CPTSD recovery, Tanner summarizes some of the biggest lessons she has learned in partnership. While some of these are universal, all are especially important in the context of complex trauma recovery and partnership. We explore how to support and build up our relationship as we do some of the tougher healing work of recovery. We unpack the valuable practice of building time to talk into your daily schedule and discuss what is often behind relationship issues that keep on arising. Next, we explore what it might look like to create a sacred union and refuse to disrespect it, touching on the reorganizing and disorienting that occurs during CPTSD recovery. Lastly, you’ll hear all about the beautiful balance of having independent pursuits and shared values in your relationship and how important it is to be able to answer the question of who you are outside of it. Thanks for joining us for this season! I will back May 3rd with the first episode of Season 12!
Key Points From This Episode:
Welcome to the final episode on our season dedicated to partnership in CPTSD recovery.
Honoring those who have been with us for the whole series.
Plans for Season 12 of CPTSD to be released on the third of May.
What this episode consists of: five lessons Tanner learned in partnership while healing from complex trauma.
The need to build in time to talk into your daily schedule.
Understanding that some things that keep coming back simply do so because they are unresolved.
Creating the sacred union and refusing to disrespect your partner.
The reorganizing and disorienting that occurs during CPTSD recovery.
Living in the overlap of shared values with your partner.
Supporting independent pursuits and appropriate levels of autonomy.
Answering the question of who you are without your partner.
A recap of the five lessons learned.
Quotes:
“It can be very reorganizing and disorienting to come to meet the human that emerges during CPTSD recovery.” — Tanner Wallace [18:26]
“What we want to do is come into this beautiful middle space where I am dependent on my partner in very healthy, intentional ways, but I’m also supported in my independent pursuits and I am granted a level of autonomy that feels right in my body.” — Tanner Wallace [21:57]
“Each partner should be able to answer, at any point in the relationship, who am I without you?” — Tanner Wallace [22:23]
“If it’s not resolved, that means it’s going to keep coming back.” — Tanner Wallace [23:28]
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Book A New Client Consultation
CPTSD Medicine on Instagram
CPTSD Medicine on Facebook
CPTSD Medicine on YouTube
Opt-In to 'The Calling' Monthly Newsletter
CPTSD Medicine Podcast
-
We can learn a lot from other people's questions, especially since they can bring up ideas we may never have thought to explore or put forward ourselves. And if you’re in any kind of group therapy setting, the response from the guide, coach, or mentor, will likely be meant for you as well, not just the person posing the question. In that spirit, we invite you to join today’s conversation as we answer a series of questions submitted by you, our listeners! Tuning in you’ll hear thoughtful and considered responses to each query. We explore prompts that will help you answer the sacred question “How to know when it’s time to say goodbye”, options for establishing a fresh start with a long-term partner who hurt you in the past, what you need to understand about the concept of integration after unburdening, and much more. We hope you’ll join us for this expansive conversation as we explore listener questions and beyond!
Key Points From This Episode:
Details on the special training program being launched in October and how to get involved.
An overview of the exciting things happening in the CPTSD universe.
Answering your listener questions on CPTSD.
Old hurts in the context of CPTSD recovery, and a long-term relationship.
How to truly start fresh, and build a safe and nourishing relationship with the same partner.
Working internally with the younger wounded parts of ourselves.
Updating those internal parts so that they can see what our current reality is.
Prompts to help you answer the sacred question “How to know it’s time to say goodbye”.
The many steps you can take before concluding that it’s time to say goodbye.
An examination of what to do if your partner has narcissistic characteristics.
Acknowledging the good within them and building bridges with their protective parts.
Explaining the concept of integration after unburdening.
Taking a moment to honor the privilege of answering your listener questions.
Quotes:
“There's so much to learn from other people's questions, because sometimes there's questions posed that we would have never thought to ask.” — Dr. Tanner Wallace [05:48]
“Sometimes older versions of us from our adolescent years will confuse our partner for our parent or will confuse our partner for an ex-lover or an ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend. And that needs to be cleaned up because that's also a distortion.” — Dr. Tanner Wallace [15:21]
“There's a very high bar for saying goodbye, in my personal opinion, because there's so much that can be done. To reach that point where you say with authenticity, clarity, transparency, it's time for me to say goodbye.” — Dr. Tanner Wallace [25:22]
“A human that doesn't see other humans as human has been hurt horrifically. At some deep cellular level, they've been rejected.” — Dr. Tanner Wallace [29:34]
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Book A New Client Consultation
CPTSD Medicine on Instagram
CPTSD Medicine on Facebook
CPTSD Medicine on YouTube
Opt-In to 'The Calling' Monthly Newsletter
CPTSD Medicine Podcast
-
In this culture of never-ending healing and never-ending personal development, it’s important to remember that one can heal from CPTSD, permanently. But to do so, your relational ecosystem needs to be strong and for that, you need a base of supportive humans. Today’s show is all about navigating complex relationships with extended friends and family in your trauma ecosystem. We discuss the role and importance of good communication, how others may react to your healing journey, the responsibility of safety in adults and children, and everything you need to take into account regarding your partner and your extended trauma ecosystem. We also assess four trauma sets that may negatively impact partnerships, and we are reminded of the importance of the unburdening process and of separating oneself energetically while remaining emotionally invested.
Key Points From This Episode:
How it’s possible to completely heal from CPTSD.
Why it’s important to know how to navigate relationships within your trauma ecosystem.
The role of communication.
How friends and family may react to your healing journey.
What it looks like as you progress further in your recovery.
Why safety is an internal experience for adults and an external demand for children.
What you need to know regarding extended family, friends, and your partner.
Four trauma sets that influence partnerships.
Separating energetically but remaining close emotionally.
Quotes:
“CPTSD, [a] complex trauma, is a specific relational injury that impacts almost every aspect of your life, internally and externally. And yet, it can be healed. It can be resolved. You can complete active recovery of CPTSD.” — Dr. Tanner Wallace [01:50]
“The disconnections, the no contact, the estrangements; all of those, as I understand it now, are human attempts to demand external safety when in truth, safety is an internal experience.” — Dr. Tanner Wallace [06:00]
“Continue to unburden your own system and radiate compassion, forgiveness, and love, and keep showing up in those frequencies and see what happens over time.” — Dr. Tanner Wallace [11:43]
“Just repeat, repeat, repeat, repeat. It’s the same basic things again and again and again that create a successful CPTSD recovery journey.” — Dr. Tanner Wallace [34:56]
Longer Quotes:
“You can’t really have a real, authentic, intimate relationship with somebody [who’s] running [on] survival instinct. You can appreciate them, you can hold space for them, you can be around them, you can laugh with them, you can even have fun with them, but that deep, reciprocal, authentic, genuine intimacy is not possible.” — Dr. Tanner Wallace [09:54]
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
SUBMIT A QUESTION
CPTSD Medicine on Instagram
CPTSD Medicine on Facebook
CPTSD Medicine on YouTube
Opt-In to 'The Calling' Monthly Newsletter
CPTSD Medicine Podcast
-
This episode of the CPTSD Medicine Podcast dives into a complicated, yet necessary topic: sex. Context and history are important here because sex, sexuality, sexual satisfaction, sexual connection, and intimacy during CPTSD recovery can be so wildly nuanced. Join Tanner as she delves into why sex should be something you and your partner talk about (often) and invites you to become truly curious. She unpacks several instances that indicate a conversation is necessary, highlights a critical foundational principle to fuel mutual sexual satisfaction, and shares several pieces of homework for you and your partner to consider, work through, and implement as you continue on your journey toward improved sexual connection in your relationship. Tanner brings it all together by emphasizing the importance of radical responsibility and offers some practical tips to get you started on this beautiful and profound journey!
Key Points From This Episode:
Reasons that sex should not be taken off the table as a topic of conversation.
Why sex (and all it encompasses) is a basic, core, human need.
An invitation to be curious with your partner about sex.
Different indications that conversations about sex need to be had.
A disclaimer to pause the podcast to go and have a conversation.
Power meets power; a critical foundational principle to fuel mutual sexual satisfaction.
Talking to your children about sexual satisfaction and pleasure (solo and in partnership).
The importance of exploring your own pleasure.
What it really means to know your partner’s true sexual preferences.
Reaching mutual fantasy space alignment.
Things we cannot ask to override or deny in the sexual satisfaction space.
Bringing it all together: taking radical responsibility for what is yours.
How to get to a place where taking radical responsibility is possible.
Insights you can use to start this journey for you and your partner.
Quotes:
“Sex, sexuality, sexual satisfaction, sexual connection, and intimacy are so wildly nuanced.” — Tanner Wallace [0:02:39]
“Our sexuality, sexual connection, [and] sexual expression in the context of a long-term partnership is non-negotiable. Sexual satisfaction, sexual expression, sexual fulfillment is a basic core human need.” — Tanner Wallace [0:06:45]
“Anything but neutral curiosity is an indication that there’s some work to be done here.” — Tanner Wallace [0:09:05]
“Waiting until you are healed to deal with your sexuality [and] sexual issues is avoiding a beautiful, sacred, profound training ground that is only possible in a partnership. There is no other space where this particular thing can be held.” — Tanner Wallace [0:30:44]
Longer Quotes:
“Our sexuality is not just practical. It’s not just transactional. It’s truly about life force activation. It’s about primal, deep, body energy. It’s about creativity, it’s about expression, it’s about release, it’s about satisfaction. It’s about flow states and transcending our human experience. It is truly about — [unlocking] experiences beyond what our human brain can comprehend.” — Tanner Wallace [0:15:17]
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
SUBMIT A QUESTION
CPTSD Medicine on Instagram
CPTSD Medicine on Facebook
CPTSD Medicine on YouTube
Opt-In to 'The Calling' Monthly Newsletter
CPTSD Medicine Podcast
-
Money can be a very difficult topic of discussion and often causes conflict in all kinds of relationships; especially when you, your partner, or both of you are healing from CPTSD. Today on the CPTSD Medicine Podcast we are continuing our conversations about CPTSD recovery in relationships, and delving into money specifically. Tune in to hear about what you’ve missed this season, what you can expect from the rest of the season, things to look forward to, and how to stay up to date with this organization. We discuss some of the natural trauma responses to money, before stressing why you have to honor the existence of those trauma responses. Finally, we’ll share four practical strategies you can use alongside the understanding of your trauma responses to money to help heal CPTSD in partnerships. This is an incredibly important episode that you don’t want to miss out on!
Key Points From This Episode:
How you can get involved in and stay up to date with this organization.
What you can expect from the rest of season 11 of the CPTSD Medicine Podcast.
Why working out problems is a power struggle in relationships where CPTSD is present.
Today’s topic of discussion: money.
Some of the common trauma responses related to money.
The importance of honoring the presence of these money-related trauma responses.
Practical strategies to use in collaboration with understanding trauma responses to money.
One: understanding your individual values in-depth.
Two: cleaning up all things money.
Three: dream with your partner.
Four: practice greater gratitude towards what you already have.
Quotes:
“Everything you need to heal is already inside of you, you just need some facilitation, structure, understanding, and practice to know how to access it consistently.” — Tanner Wallace [01:13]
“Money is associated with a particular survival mode [for people with CPTSD].” — Tanner Wallace [21:01]
“[Use] these money conversations as the healing, not [standing] in the way of the healing.” — Tanner Wallace [29:57]
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Monarch Money
SUBMIT A QUESTION
CPTSD Medicine on Instagram
CPTSD Medicine on Facebook
CPTSD Medicine on YouTube
Opt-In to 'The Calling' Monthly Newsletter
CPTSD Medicine Podcast
-
For adult humans living with the painful effects of their own upbringing, becoming a parent can introduce a variety of new cognitive, emotional, and practical challenges. In today’s episode, we touch on the areas of your relationship with your children and partner that can be very triggering during CPTSD recovery. Even if you don’t have children, this episode will help you guide and support family members, friends, loved ones, and other CycleBreakers in their parenting journey. It will also help you unearth places in your lived experience of complex trauma where you might want to do some grief work or help you work through the difficult question, “Why didn’t I have children?” Tuning in, you’ll learn about the five often-unconscious activations that children can bring up in our lives when we have unresolved trauma, practical and energetic ways to work through them with your partner, and how to show up from a place of Self Energy with curiosity, courage, creativity, compassion, and calmness.
Key Points From This Episode:
Important context for this podcast, the work this community does, and how to learn more.
How this episode can be productive for your CPTSD recovery, even if you don’t have kids.
Different configurations within the framework of parenting.
Things that can prevent us from parenting from a grounded place of pure personal power.
Why breaking the cycle of trauma is one of the main goals in our parenting relationships.
The deep importance of doing this work for your children (and for yourself).
Insight into the Motherless Mother frequency that this work requires.
Five activations children can bring up in our lives when we have unresolved trauma.
Examples of how these activations might play out in your environment.
The role of consciousness in helping us lead from a place of Self Energy.
Practical and energetic considerations for cycle-breaking parenting.
How to become a bridge to Healing Power while also healing yourself in the process.
Quotes:
“When activated, we start to drop into Primitive Survival Instinct, Hurt Parts, Wounded Younger Parts, Aggressive Protective Parts, Collapsed Protective Parts. – We’re no longer leading [or] parenting our child from a grounded, anchored place of pure personal power.” — Tanner Wallace [16:19]
“What am I doing for my kids to break the cycle [of trauma] so that their children are trauma-free?” — Tanner Wallace [19:21]
“There’s a lot of work planning [and practical considerations] that must go into cycle-breaking parenting.” — Tanner Wallace [31:43]
“When in distress, lean in to connect.” — Tanner Wallace [36:17]
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
'A Season for Partners of Humans Recovering from CPTSD'
SUBMIT A QUESTION
CPTSD Medicine on Instagram
CPTSD Medicine on Facebook
CPTSD Medicine on YouTube
Opt-In to 'The Calling' Monthly Newsletter
CPTSD Medicine Podcast
-
A developmental relationship is such a gift to us as humans. It’s the kind of relationship where you are fundamentally changed because of it. You would not be the same human without the stimulation, activation, scaffolding, prompts, support, love, and cheerleading from your partner. The same is true for them! This episode is our final installment of the introductory material for Season 11, setting the context for three very specific conversations to come, which center around parenting, money, and sex. Exploring what it means to take radical responsibility at every level of the healing journey, we discuss navigating the leapfrogging that might happen along the way, reciprocity and holding space for one another, and more. Don’t miss this foundational conversation offering meaningful support for your journey. Thanks for joining us!
Key Points From This Episode:
A reminder of how to approach this series dedicated to the partners of humans with CPTSD.
What it means to have a developmental relationship.
Requirements for building a developmental relationship.
Quantum leaps that may happen during the process of building with a partner.
Why this series is dedicated to Tanner’s partner, Matt, and a glimpse into their journey.
Where this episode fits into our series: the final context-setting conversation.
What radical responsibility means and why it is so difficult.
One of the early milestones of CPTSD: dropping the childlike energy of ‘I don’t want to have to do this’.
The reciprocal holding of space for the partner that wants to be witnessed.
Allowing one another the room to actively grieve by taking on responsibility in the home.
Periods of time when a Wounded Younger Part may require all of the attention of a partner.
The longest, most pervasive phase of healing is when you take radical responsibility for every choice you have made.
Different types of responsibility necessary for different parts of the journey.
Why it’s necessary for there to be a reciprocal back and forth.
Key questions to ask yourself following this episode.
Quotes:
“One of the early milestones of CPTSD recovery is dropping the immature, childlike energy of ‘I don’t want to have to do this’.” — Tanner Wallace [06:14]
“Your partner is not a parent. However, they can provide a pseudo-parenting context for a short period of time while an unburdening is happening.” — Tanner Wallace [11:01]
“At different points of the journey, there are different types of radical responsibility.” — Tanner Wallace [14:34]
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
SUBMIT A QUESTION
CPTSD Medicine on Instagram
CPTSD Medicine on Facebook
CPTSD Medicine of YouTube
Opt-In The Calling monthly newsletter
CPTSD Medicine Podcast
-
Relationships are the ideal training ground for complex trauma recovery. During this episode, we continue our series equipping and encouraging those in partnership with humans healing from complex trauma. Healing is impossible without committing to the process of unburdening yourself. This episode explores four things you can create in your relationship to set the context to really support your individual unburdening work. Starting with a definition for the unburdening process, we explore ways to develop a high level of trust, eradicate shame from the environment of your relationship, and create a context where each person can reach out and touch fear. We discuss why trust is so important and unpack what it means to hold space for your partner’s emotions without taking them on, as we may be tempted to do. Tune in to learn more today.
Key Points From This Episode:
A recap of the four episodes addressed to the partners of humans dealing with complex trauma leading up to this one.
The upcoming Q&A session and where to submit your questions.
Holding space for those whose partners are unwilling to engage with this content.
Advice for those without the opportunity to meet their partners on this journey.
A suggestion for the best way to approach this series with your partner.
Why Tanner has dedicated a whole episode to unburdening.
What unburdening is: storytelling with neural networks.
Introducing four things you can create in your relationship to set the context for individual unburdening work.
The role of trust in creating a peaceful homeostasis as you enter your internal world.
Establishing a no-shame environment for the course corrections that will need to happen.
Creating an environment where it’s possible to reach out and touch fear.
Holding big emotions including fear without taking them on.
Distinguishing between holding space for your partner’s emotions and taking them on.
Why trust is so important and the necessary work to do to sustain it.
Quotes:
“In my opinion, unburdening is essential, required, non-negotiable for permanent healing of CPTSD.” — Tanner Wallace [08:40]
“Trust is critically important in small and big ways.” — Tanner Wallace [23:29]
“Relationships are the perfect, ideal training ground for complex trauma recovery.” — Tanner Wallace [27:27]
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
SUBMIT A QUESTION
The Unburdening Process: Part 1
The Unburdening Process: Part 2
The Unburdening Process: Part 3
The Unburdening Process: Part 4
The Unburdening Process: Part 5
The Unburdening Process: Part 6
CPTSD Medicine on Instagram
CPTSD Medicine on Facebook
CPTSD Medicine of YouTube
Opt-In The Calling monthly newsletter
CPTSD Medicine Podcast
-
Today, we drop into more specificity about what the partner of a human recovering from complex trauma is likely going to have to dance with, steward, come to acceptance with, and support along the way. All humans have what we refer to as Protective Parts, but for survivors of complex trauma, a lot of the protective survival coding is woven into their DNA at every level. That’s what makes recovery so challenging. During this episode, we dive deep into how to respond to your partner’s different Protective Energies to best provide a container that facilitates and supports them on the path to healing. Our focus is on restoring dignity from the inside out in the context of our intimate partnerships, the closest relationship to our early attachment experiences. Join us today to hear more!
Key Points From This Episode:
Context for CPTSD Medicine leading up to the timely message of this episode.
What a partner of a person recovering from CPTSD is likely going to have to be able to do.
The difference between the continuum of the effects of tricky to traumatizing family dynamics.
Reserving the perspective of, ‘If I were this human,’ and adopting ‘I can do this first,’.
Why the sacred union is such a powerful context in which to do CPTSD recovery work.
Tanner’s process of gaining clarity on what was in front of her in her life.
How working on our partnership directly affects our children.
Acknowledging the challenge that our partners are not our parents.
The true challenge of dating someone who is recovering from CPTSD.
What we really want to highlight for our partners.
Four main protective part energies and one central energy for childhood trauma survivors.
What it might look like to lead with the vulnerability.
Differentiating between ‘I won’t’ and ‘I must’ energy.
The ‘I can’t’ protective instinct and what triggers it.
Restoring dignity from the inside out.
What triggers the ‘I will destroy’ energy.
How to respond to a partner in this energy to illustrate that you are willing to meet them there.
Your role in facilitating the unburdening work.
Dropping into awareness of your protective instincts when they come online.
A very important explanation of the danger of weaponizing parts work.
Quotes:
“It’s very hard to change behavior, especially if it was an adaptive strategy or something that you inherited or were socialized to believe is the way from your family of origin.” — Tanner Wallace [11:02]
“Working on our partnership directly affects our children as well.” — Tanner Wallace [17:29]
“You’re keeping the path clear for your partner to do the healing work, but you’re not doing the work for them. You’re simply keeping everything open and clear so that the work is easier to do.” — Tanner Wallace [42:44]
“If you weaponize Parts Work, you are creating an unsafe experience for parts of each other to feel that they can trust to be vulnerable.” — Tanner Wallace [45:24]
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
The Calling Monthly Newsletter
CPTSD Medicine on Instagram
CPTSD Medicine on Facebook
CPTSD Medicine Podcast
CPTSD Medicine on YouTube
-
In the long-term process of healing, it can be disorienting not knowing which benchmarks to strive for or the milestones you’re aiming to achieve. And in partnerships, it’s important to remember the ultimate goal; to completely recover from CPTSD and to have a comprehensive understanding of the relationship you have with your partner. So today, we’re taking a look at five guideposts to follow or milestones to strive for as you work through your CPTSD recovery while in a partnership. We discuss what it means to have full permission to express, how to contextualize conversations within your relationship, why you should never speak behind your partner’s back, and how to identify the negative roles that you assume in your relationship. We also discover how to find the root cause of moments of judgment and why you have to take radical responsibility for your own wounds. Thanks for listening.
Key Points From This Episode:
Today is about which guideposts to follow in your partnerships along your healing journey.
Understanding the ultimate goal of CPTSD recovery in partnerships.
What it means to have full permission to express.
Why all conversations need to be held within the context of your relationship and together with your partner.
Identifying then addressing the negative roles you’re playing in the relationship.
Noticing when judgment comes, and isolating the root cause.
The importance of taking radical responsibility for your own wounds.
Your homework for today.
Quotes:
“It’s one thing to listen to something, and it’s another thing to integrate the knowledge; embody it through your actions; and see how it lands and shapes what you do day to day.” — Tanner Wallace [02:21]
“It takes so much courage to change, and change happens over time when we align with a particular identity that shapes our habits.” — Tanner Wallace [02:36]
“If there is an urge to turn to somebody else to talk about your partner; complain about your partner; talk about the partnership, this is an immediate sign that you need to turn toward your partner and start sharing some of this with them.” — Tanner Wallace [13:38]
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
The Calling Monthly Newsletter
CPTSD Medicine on Instagram
CPTSD Medicine on Facebook
CPTSD Medicine Podcast
CPTSD Medicine on YouTube
-
How we interpret our lives matters. The stories we tell ourselves hold the power to shape the future. Dedicated to partners of humans in active recovery from CPTSD, this episode is all about setting a powerful context for you to align to as your relationship unfolds. Our conversation opens with insights from Tanner and Matt’s story and touches on predictors of future divorce early in relationships. We explore what it truly means to address, revise, and rewrite the story before considering what it might look like to drop it, draw a line in the sand, and create a liminal space within your relationship. Relationships are a training ground for evolution and healing, particularly for those with betrayals in the attachment context of their childhoods. This episode lays the foundation to help you move forward as you navigate the present with compassion and humility. Tune in to hear more today!
Key Points From This Episode:
Who this episode is for: those in partnership with folks in active recovery from CPTSD.
Why you should go back and listen to the first episode of this season.
Revising the story and dropping the story as illustrated by Matt and Tanner’s experience.
How the story developed into ‘Trauma didn’t win.’
Predicting the future divorce of a couple by asking them to tell you the story of their relationship.
How important interpretation, story, and context are.
What it means to revise the story of your relationship.
Homework for this episode: talking about all the stories you have told about your relationship.
Honoring the training ground that a relationship is for two humans healing difficult things.
The opportunity to evolve that emerges from relationships.
Lowering the stakes without lowering the standards.
Coming into the frequency of love and forgiveness.
What it truly means to embrace evolution, grace, redemption, compassion, and humility.
Understanding that this is messy, hard work.
The Protective Part strategy of holding onto a story and understanding that partners are powerless to release old evidence.
Why maturity and wisdom are required to navigate the present.
What is at risk of happening if a line is not drawn in the sand to create a liminal space between you.
Quotes:
“[A relationship] is a training ground in the relational field for every human, but particularly for humans that have betrayals in the attachment context of their childhood.” — Tanner Wallace [10:49]
“There is no other training ground than CPTSD and the relational field to tap into those codes.” — Tanner Wallace [11:19]
“When I retreat and get on my own team, and see you as the enemy, I’ve separated from love.” — Tanner Wallace [12:56]
“The more flexible and adaptable and open we are to revisions, to evolution, to learning, the better off we all are.” — Tanner Wallace [13:56]
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
A Season For Partners of Humans Recovering from CPTSD
Sign-Up for the Monthly Newsletter
The Love Lab
CPTSD Medicine on Instagram
CPTSD Medicine on Facebook
CPTSD Medicine Podcast
CPTSD Medicine on YouTube
**Help For A Dangerous Relationship**
-
We are back with the CPTSD Medicine podcast after a break; a much-needed time of refreshing, regrouping, and recharging. 2024 will be a year where Tanner confidently owns and claims her authority to present her solutions to your CPTSD. This season will be focused on and specially crafted regarding support for partners of those recovering from CPTSD. In today’s episode, Tanner delves into what you can expect from this season and shares an in-depth overview of her personal and professional background that qualifies her for this type of work. She shares a few contextual factors she wants you to consider and stresses the importance of making a deliberate and dedicated effort to come together and work through this season together as a couple. Tune in now to hear more about what to expect from this season, with your host Tanner Wallace. Thanks for listening!
Key Points From This Episode:
A welcome back message to listeners.
What to expect from season 11.
The number one question Tanner gets in her DMs.
Tanner shares a special dedication for season 11.
An overview of Tanner’s background that qualifies her for work with CPTSD and partners.
A different frequency of healing and the goal for this season
Ending the ambiguity and putting down the unhelpful energy.
A few contextual factors Tanner wants you to consider.
A dedicated effort: come together with your partner to work through the episode.
Quotes:
“The sexual stuff, the sexual connection, the intimacy is simply a symptom of much deeper stuff that’s happening underneath.” — Tanner Wallace [0:10:54]
“In my healing, I now understand CPTSD [and] healing it doesn’t make logical sense. You just gotta run with what’s happening. You’ve got to lean into the flow.” — Tanner Wallace [0:13:13]
“What’s so powerful about the ‘It’s ending’ or ‘I’m staying’ decision is it’s squeaky clean and it ends the ambiguity.” — Tanner Wallace [0:16:58]
“You cannot arrive at the final result — that squeaky clean ‘yes, no’, when you have an exit door wide open; that you’re in.” — Tanner Wallace [0:20:29]
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
CPTSD Medicine on Instagram
CPTSD Medicine on Facebook
CPTSD Medicine on YouTube
The Calling Newsletter Opt-In
CPTSD Medicine Podcast
-
We are rounding out season ten by thinking about and imagining around, the benefits of Energetic Stewardship. This season has had a massive focus on the Energy of CPTSD Recovery and how the Energy Work around Unburdening, Unblending, Integrating, and Embodying, comes together in conjunction with Parts Work. So, in wrapping up this season before we take a podcasting break, we wanted to bring it all back to two really key foci when thinking about Energetic Stewardship. Join in to hear more about the four different milestones of the CPTSD Recovery framework and how Energy Work translates into results that you care about, including the areas of money, time, fear, trust, and ability. Take care, and come find me on IG @cptsdmedicine, for the new weekly Live show!
Key Points From This Episode:
Connecting the dots with two key foci when thinking about Energetic Stewardship.
A message from Tanner to all the listeners.
The four different milestones in the CPTSD Recovery framework.
We jump into the first of the four milestones: Unblending.
Unburdening; what it is and why it’s so important.
Where the Energy Work becomes important in the Unburdening.
Integration: stabilizing the new constellation and proportionality of energies (the new space).
Transitioning from the realm of thoughts to the realm of physicality; becoming a tangible and vivid embodiment.
The two courses, 5 Circuits of Healing Power and DEVOTED focus on these four milestones.
How Energy Work translates into results you care about including money, time, fear, trust, and ability.
Why we are taking a podcasting break!
Quotes:
“My sole-purpose [and] calling. [My] purpose [and] mission, at this point in time, is to create an efficient, effective, holistic, CPTSD Recovery curriculum that you can drop into for two or so years and arrive out on the other side ready to live the life of your dreams!” — Tanner Wallace [0:02:30]
“If we want to recover from something as complex and multidimensional as CPTSD, we need frameworks.” — Tanner Wallace [0:04:15]
“In my Tanner, personal opinion, CPTSD Recovery hasn’t even started until you’ve experienced Unblending.” — Tanner Wallace [0:07:17]
“[Unburdening work] is so sacred. And this work is so profound, I know that there is something larger than the human experience at play.” — Tanner Wallace [0:14:56]
“Fear. When we are making decisions out of fear and not love, it is always something that is going to need to be unwound or undone in the future. When we are showing up in love everything just unfolds.” — Tanner Wallace [0:30:25]
“Just because I’m gifted at something doesn’t mean I answer the call. I answer the call because I want to.” — Tanner Wallace [0:33:14]
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
CPTSD and The Six Energy Centers of the Power Core
CPTSD Medicine on Instagram
CPTSD Medicine on Facebook
CPTSD Medicine on YouTube
The Calling Newsletter Opt-In
CPTSD Medicine Podcast
-
When we are not taught to protect ourselves as children, dark energies can penetrate our protective energetic barrier. Today we are going to discuss the darker energies that we may be receptive to when recovering CPTSD and how we can unburden ourselves from them. Tuning in, you’ll hear about what makes us more susceptible to dark energetic attacks, when we are most vulnerable, and how you can know if you have dark energy inside you. We delve into how Energetic Stewardship can protect us from this negative energy, the importance of releasing it back to the collective in its original form, light, and what the unburdening sequence looks like. So to hear all of this and even get some insight into our upcoming Instagram live show, press play now!
Key Points From This Episode:
What makes us susceptible to darker energetic attacks that don’t serve us positively.
The importance of ridding dark energy from those around us by returning it to the light.
How Energetic Stewardship can protect us and those around us from dark energy.
When we’re more susceptible to dark energy and what that looks like.
How to know that you have dark energy inside of you.
A brief overview of the unburdening sequence and the challenges it brings.
The interactive live Instagram show you can look forward to.
Quotes:
“When we don’t learn that natural self-protection, it’s almost as if – there are gaps in our energetic boundaries – that allows us to be susceptible to absorbing the darker energies.” — Tanner Wallace [0:05:50]
“I am the path of least resistance to healing.” — Tanner Wallace [0:07:53]
“It’s the true act of compassion to hold all but simultaneously learn how to hold it so we ourselves are not being compromised or destroyed or consumed in the process of holding the darkness.” — Tanner Wallace [0:10:00]
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
CPTSD Medicine on Instagram
CPTSD Medicine on Facebook
CPTSD Medicine on YouTube
The Calling Newsletter Opt-In
CPTSD Medicine Podcast
-
Welcome back to the show and our sincere apologies for our absence last week. We’ve been busy with a workshop that explored how to find (and lean into) your edge, real-time CPTSD recovery, and how to accelerate the healing process. And if you are in your own process of complex PTSD healing and self-discovery, be sure to keep checking our Instagram Stories @cptsdmedicine and join our email list (link in show notes) to stay up-to-date about the upcoming Energetic Stewardship workshop. Now, our movement through life can often be restricted by what someone in our bloodline did many, many, many years, ago. Their actions cause us to behave in certain repetitive ways, often to our own detriment or those of the ones around us. These fear-based frequencies are known as Legacy Burdens and today, we unpack our definition of Legacy Burdens and how it relates to Lineage Journeys and Ancestral Healing. Then, we explore the ancient wisdom that we all have access to, our inherent gifts, the task of unburdening from intergenerational transmissions of trauma and how Parts work fits into this process, and how having a guide is helpful but only you can do the work! It’s great to be back.
And sorry about the sound quality! My recording microphone was not the one recording! It was my laptop set behind me! AND YES!!! celebrating 100 episodes!!!!
Key Points From This Episode:
Welcome back to the show as we explain why we didn’t have an episode last week.
How CPTSD Recovery happens in real-time, and exploring the elements that hasten this process.
What it means to find your edge, and why you should always lean into it.
How social media is extremely helpful when used correctly, and a sneak peek into season 11.
Introducing today’s topic: Legacy Burdens; fear-based frequencies.
Reiterating the wonders (in healing) of Energetic Stewardship.
A breakdown of the types of energies that we steward and are responsible for.
How we came to understand Legacy Burdens.
Lineage Journeys and Ancestral Healing.
The deep, ancient wisdom that we all have access to.
Intergenerational transmissions of trauma and how to begin the work of unburdening.
Differentiating your burdens from the ones you’ve inherited.
How Parts work using our gifts fits into the unburdening process.
Why only you can do the work, but having a guide can be helpful.
Keep an eye on our Instagram Stories and sign up to our email list to stay informed about the upcoming Energetic Stewardship workshop.
Quotes:
“Recovery happens in real-time, in our real life. And, we can hasten that process or create stimulations to increase the likelihood that we’ll have opportunities to do deep, unburdening work when we are finding ourselves at our own edge.” — Tanner Wallace [02:03]
“Instagram, as I experience it, is a very, very potent, helpful guide and structure when you consume it with Self Leadership.” — Tanner Wallace [10:41]
“There are patterns that keep repeating in my life that I don’t even fully understand.” — Tanner Wallace [26:29]
“It’s not just turning down the fear-based frequencies; it’s that and transmuting them, alchemizing them, and releasing and integrating the gifts — this is legacy work.” — Tanner Wallace [38:07]
“I am not here to provide you [with] all the answers. I’m here as a guide to open up spaces for you to see, ‘Oh! This is what is possible; this could be my next aligned action; this could be my level up; this could be a space that I play.’” — Tanner Wallace [39:03]
Links Mentioned in Today’s Episode:
Nicole Casteel
Mark Wolynn
Ann Sinko
CPTSD Medicine on Instagram
CPTSD Medicine on Facebook
CPTSD Medicine on YouTube
The Calling Newsletter Opt-In
CPTSD Medicine Podcast
- Show more
