Episoder
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Perimenopauseāwho knew this was even a thing? Not me! I always thought menopause was something that just suddenly happened when you hit a certain age, but perimenopause? Thatās a whole different beast, and Iām right in the thick of it. Itās like this sneaky, slow-motion transition where your body starts doing things you never expected, and youāre left wondering what the hell is going on.
Iāve been navigating it as best as I can, but let me tell you, it hasnāt been easy. There are days when I feel like Iām losing my mindāliterally. The brain fog, the mood swings, the physical changesāit's all so intense. Itās like my body is rewriting the rulebook, and I didnāt get the memo. Iāve been sharing these frustrations openly on Instagram because, honestly, I had no idea this was even a thing, and I know Iām not alone. If I can shine a light on what perimenopause really looks like, maybe itāll help someone else feel a little less lost.
Thankfully, Iāve called in the big gunsāDr. Kirstey Holland. Sheās been an absolute game-changer, helping me get my gut, brain, and hormones back to some kind of new normal. Itās a journey, and itās not about getting back to the old me, but finding a new balance, a new way of being in this body thatās changing whether I like it or not. Iām learning to work with these changes, rather than against them, and itās been a real lesson in patience, acceptance, and finding new ways to care for myself.
If youāre in this with me, just know youāre not alone, and itās okay to reach out for help. This isnāt something we have to navigate on our own, and thereās power in sharing our stories and supporting each other through it.
Contact details for Dr Kirstey Holland O.M.D - https://thehollandclinic.com/
1. Clarity call with Dr Kirstey Holland - https://p.bttr.to/3xzJRro
2. Initial Consultation with Dr Kirstey Holland - https://l.bttr.to/NT6PM
3. Heal Seal Repair Gut Program - The first 100 people to sign up access this for $57 only! Usually $497.
MY BOOK IS OUT -
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Book launches - Bendigo - Sep 4th, Geelong - Sep 8th, Shepparton - Sep 15th.
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Lately, I've been reflecting on what truly makes a relationship successful, and one thing stands out: in a strong, healthy relationship, you never try to bring the other person down when they're shining in their light. Instead, you lift them up, cheer them on, and celebrate their successes as if they were your own. As I'm gearing up for the launch of my book, I've been feeling this more than ever, especially with Steve, my husband, by my side.
Steve has been my #1 cheerleader through this entire process. There hasnāt been a single drop of insecurity or jealousyājust pure, unwavering support. Heās the first to encourage me, to remind me of how far I've come, and to push me to keep going when I start doubting myself. Itās a kind of support that makes me feel even more connected to him because I know he's genuinely happy to see me succeed.
In moments like these, I realize just how lucky I am to have a partner who is not only secure in himself but also deeply invested in our shared journey. Steveās encouragement has allowed me to shine even brighter, knowing that heās right there with me, cheering me on every step of the way. It's a reminder that in the best relationships, you both rise together, and that kind of love and support is what truly makes a partnership thrive.
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Book launches - Bendigo - Sep 1st, Geelong - Sep 8th, Shepparton - Sep 15th.
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Manglende episoder?
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Recently, I found myself journaling about the phrase "all in good time." As I was writing, I noticed how much my ego wanted to rush, push, and brute force my way through the process. There was this constant sense of urgency and impatience, a nagging feeling that if I didn't hurry, everything would fall apart. Beneath this impatience, I recognized a deeper, more profound fear of failure, especially with the launch of my book.
The pressure I was putting on myself was immense. I felt like I had to get everything right, and get it right quickly. My mind was racing with thoughts of deadlines, expectations, and the endless to-do lists that seemed to grow longer by the minute. In the midst of this chaos, the simple phrase "all in good time" emerged. It was like a gentle reminder from a wiser, calmer part of myself to slow down and trust the process.
These four wordsā"all in good time"ābecame a mantra that helped ease the angst and stress I was feeling. Every time I felt the urge to rush or push too hard, I would remind myself of this phrase. It acted as an anchor, keeping me grounded and bringing me back to the present moment. I realized that success doesn't come from forcing things to happen, but from allowing them to unfold naturally and organically.
By embracing "all in good time," I've been able to release some of the pressure and find a more balanced, peaceful approach to my work. Itās a reminder that everything has its own pace, and that forcing things often leads to burnout and frustration. This mindset has kept me close to the ground, more connected to my purpose, and less caught up in the whirlwind of my egoās demands. It's a lesson I'm grateful for, and one that I hope to carry with me as I continue on this journey.
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Lately, I've been immersing myself in the art of listening, and it's been a transformative journey. I started journaling about my experiences with listening, prompted by Julia Cameron's book The Listening Path. Her insights have guided me to pay closer attention not only to the words people say but also to the deeper meanings and emotions behind them. Through my journaling, I've begun to notice patterns in my own listening habits, especially within my family dynamics.
One of the biggest revelations has been realising how often I cut people off, especially my family members. I catch myself assuming what they're going to say next or tuning out when I think I already know the gist of their message. Journaling about these moments has helped me become more aware of them. It's humbling to see how these habits can create distance in our relationships and prevent truly meaningful connections.
By consciously working on these tendencies, I'm learning to be a better listener towards the people I love, allowing them to fully express themselves without interruption. This practice has not only deepened my relationships but also enriched my understanding of those around me. It's amazing how much more you can learn about someone when you genuinely listen without jumping to conclusions or planning your response while they're still talking.
I invite you to join me on this journey of becoming a better listener. Pay attention to how you listen to othersānotice when you might be cutting them off, assuming their next sentence, or tuning out. Journaling about these observations can be a powerful tool to deepen your own relationship with listening. It's a practice that has the potential to transform not only how we connect with others but also how we understand and connect with ourselves.
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I wrote this question down in my journal, played this song, closed my eyes, and let the answers find me.
The reason this question came up was due to writing the date, June 30th, at the top of my page and I thought, "wow, halfway through this year. How would I love the rest of it to be?" Then the question opened itself to the 'it' being 'life itself'.
Here's what came about ...
IMPACT - having major effect.
MEANINGFUL - worthwhile.
JOYFUL - great pleasure and happiness.
INTENTIONAL - done on purpose.
As I looked over my writings I thought, "shit yeah, that's how I'd love it to be! How great it would be to have major effect in the lives of my family, friends, loved ones and the world. To live a life that is worthwhile, create work in the world that is worthwhile. To do as such with great pleasure and happiness, and, on purpose.
This photo below sums the above up neatly. It was taken right after I finished recording my audiobook. This book has impact, meaning, was created on purpose, and written and recorded with great pleasure and happiness.
It begs the question, could all things be done this way? I'll come back to you on that.
Truly, how would you love it (your life) to be? And what would be your next best step to bring that way of life a little closer to you?
I'd love to read your insights and shares if you feel compelled to do so.
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Book launch - Melbourne, Aug 18th.
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Unhealed wounds from our past shape the personalities we present to the world, often causing us to make choices that align more with our trauma than with our true selves. These wounds can manifest as insecurities, fears, and defenses that influence how we interact with others and perceive our place in the world. When we don't address these wounds, we often wear masks that hide our authentic selves, leading us to make decisions based on the need for validation, acceptance, or protection rather than what truly resonates with our core values and desires.
I recently watched the series Dropout about Elizabeth Holmes, and it struck me how vividly it illustrated this point. Holmes, once a passionate innovator, gradually lost touch with her true essence. In her quest to become someone "important," she made choices that prioritized external success over internal integrity. This shift not only led to her downfall but also highlighted the dangers of losing sight of what is genuinely important.When we make choices from our unhealed selves, we often end up pursuing paths that don't truly satisfy us or align with our deepest values. However, when we take the time to heal and reconnect with our true selves, our decisions become more authentic and fulfilling. Choices made from our true essence are guided by inner wisdom and genuine desires, leading us to a life that feels more aligned, purposeful, and meaningful. The contrast between living from our unhealed wounds and our authentic selves is profound, and the journey towards healing is not just beneficial but essential for living a truly fulfilling life.
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When you take your next best step guided by your inner knowing, you begin a journey of natural evolution. Each step, rooted in your authentic self, paves the way for the next, creating a path that aligns with your true essence. Over time, these steps build upon each other, leading you to places you never imagined. This process is organic and fluid, allowing you to grow and evolve in harmony with your inner wisdom. By trusting this inner guidance, you not only move forward but also deepen your connection to your true self, creating a life that is genuinely fulfilling and aligned with who you are.
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It's easy to give a lot of care to things that, in the grand scheme of things, don't really matter. Our egos often convince us to prioritize superficial concerns, social status, and external validation. However, our true essence knows better. It guides us to focus on what truly matters, to give the right kind of fucks. Living authentically means aligning with this deeper wisdom, caring deeply about the things that genuinely enrich our lives and reflect our true values. It's about finding the courage to let go of ego-driven worries and instead, nurture what is truly right, good, and meaningful for our authentic selves.
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This morning, Steve held space for me in the midst of a raw emotional release.
I've been doing EMDR therapy for the past five weeks now, allowing and processing the raw emotions from childhood sexual abuse that I haven't felt in its purity. No bloody wonder why - IT'S. A. LOT.
As I journaled this morning, the emotion of anger was right there and I felt it in all its power and fucked-off-ness. Steve could sense that I wasn't quite myself and I let him know I was processing some stuff. He was about to go on his merry way and leave me to it when he got an intuitive sense to come upstairs and ask me if I needed a hug. My little Miss Independent didn't want to let him in, but instead, I chose to drop into his arms and let out the raw emotion.
Today's episode is about both our takes on this situation and how holding space for the other in relationships is so damn necessary.
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In my book I write about living a life that feels intrinsically right, good and true for us.
A life that we get to dance with and make up the dance moves and rhythm and pace as we go along.
A life that is so ours, so very much considered and intuited, a life that also considers the lives of others, all beings.
This is the life of someone who is in touch with their authentic nature and plugged into their core values, their heart, their truth. This is the life of someone who has chosen to step off the societal norm treadmill and dare ask, āhang on, is this even my life?ā
I get it isnāt an easy question to ask because often we we ask the question, weāre bound to receive an answer from the well of truth that resides inside. At the same time, something in you is so relieved youāve dared to ask because it, your true nature, can talk to you and guide you home to what you know deep down is right good and true for you.
Let us be willing, albeit scared, to dare ask if how we are living and how we are showing up is indeed true to who we are.
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Living true to our own pace and rhythm is about honoring the unique cadence of our lives, rather than conforming to the timelines imposed by society. It's a reminder that our journey is deeply personal and cannot be rushed or dictated by external expectations.
When we tune into our inner rhythm, we reconnect with our true essenceāthe part of us that knows what feels right and authentic. This means allowing ourselves the space to move, grow, and evolve at a pace that feels natural and aligned with our deepest desires. By embracing our individual journey and trusting in our own timing, we empower ourselves to live authentically and wholeheartedly, free from the pressure to measure up to society's standards.
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I had a magical moment this morning whilst sitting on the canal, listening to beautiful music and chatting with the forces at be.
For some time I have not been my most vital in energy and also in well-being. My guts are crook, pretty much always bloated, I've been experiencing brain fog, forgetfulness, losing the thread of thoughts and increasing fatigue. If I hadn't have known about per-menopause, which to be real I only heard of two years ago, I'd think I am quite literally losing my mind.
Anyway. When I am not right in my body, it is harder for me to connect to my Spirit and hear what it is wanting to share with me. After a session and being in the care of my dear friend and peri-menopause Queen, Dr Kirstey Holland, today I woke up for the first time in a long want feeling closer to and connected to my intrinsic nature.
So I took myself, my journal, airpods and chai latte for a stroll along the canal and sat on a bench. A moment with the forces at be and me. And boy did we have some seriously good chats.
In today's episode I share the insights that landed. Enjoy.
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If you find it difficult to communicate what's on your mind and/or heart in your relationship or the person you're dating, do you know why?
Do you know the story that keeps you from sharing, speaking, expressing?
Do you know the wound that the story was built upon?
Do you know the things you tell yourself that leads to 'ahhh, it doesn't matter, I won't bother saying anything, all good."
Steve has helped me have the hard chats. Typically (in my default pattern) I avoid hard chats. I haven't liked the awkwardness and the underlying fear is usually "this will lead to it ending". I've learned through our relationship that you can have hard chats and be clear and kind, and remain together. A new belief I'm happy to have!
In today's episode we talk about how we frame up difficult conversations and why it matters to keep having them.
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"I am tired of tolerating ......"
"I am tired of accepting ...... in my relationship."
"I am tired of speaking to myself poorly."
"I am tired of these behaviours I keep playing out ......"
"I am tired of the way I show up at work events and around colleagues."
Once you have your answers, the next question is ...
What am I willing to do about this? What is my next best step?
Self enquiry leads to greater knowing of who you are behind the you you think you have to be. It's worth asking the question.
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If I waited until I wasn't afraid to go after the things that mattered to my heart and my life, I'd be waiting a long (long) time.
A part of me was afraid to leave nursing, make my own money and create my own life.
A part of me was afraid to start my business, speak on stage, create programs, run events, write a book and put myself out there.
A part of me was afraid to fall in love, commit and get married.
Because what if I failed? What if I got hurt? What if I looked like an idiot? What if I fell flat on my face and somewhere, someone would say, 'told ya so!'
The truth is, a part of us is going to be afraid when we do, say or go for something that is beyond what we're used to doing. Let the fear be there instead of fight it or will it out of your existence before you go for that something.
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You know those uplevels where itās happening from the inside out? A grumble, a pulse, a rise of āsomethingā that is so darn powerful that you know itās going to rearrange the way you see yourself, others and life?
Itās that space between letting go of the self that got you here and welcoming in the self youāve been rooting for. Thereās excitement, fear, unsureness (is that even a word?), curiosity, grief, gratitude, silence, noise, questioning, faith all at once.
If you find yourself here, may you save your fucks for giving thanks to the self that carried you to this very place and set your own practice of acknowledgement until it feels right in you. May you welcome in the self that seeks to be embodied with an ease, grace and warmth.
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Steve and I are being tested at the moment. We're in sleep debt. We're sleeping in separate beds. Why? Lately, Steve's snoring has reached new heights and we've gotten into an anxious sleep cycle where Steve is worried he'll snore, so isn't getting deep sleep. I'm worried I'll hear him snore so I'm stressing about getting to sleep first.
This resulted in poor deep sleep and waking up feeling less than fresh. So, we're sleeping separate whilst Steve looks into his snoring and whilst we're catching up on sleep and beginning to be in sleep credit, the closeness of us is strained. Yes we cuddle when I come downstairs but it's different than falling asleep together and waking up snuggling.
And so, this is our reality and we're navigating with as much awareness as we can whilst being slightly off with one another. Not enough to be dire, but enough to feel it.
Today's episode is us sharing this in more depth and what we do when we're tested.
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Previous episodes:
Relationships & Seven Game Changing Words
Relationships & Setting Agreed IntentionsSupport the Show.
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Animals have my heart. Period. When their true nature and innocence are taken advantage of, disregarded and used for pleasure, entertainment, food convenience and money, my soul breaks. Something breaks inside me.
A pig at MIDLAND BACON PIGGERY in Victoria Australia has been sexually assaulted by a male, the farm owners son in fact. @dominionmovement are doing their best to free Olivia the pig, @changedotorg have a petition to sign to apply pressure to surrender her so she can be taken into the hands of kindness and care.
Factory farmed animals have little regard in the legal system and therefore protection because they are seen as food and money makers. I get that farmers hands are often tied by the bigger corporations but to have farmers (humans) use their power against an innocent and confined animal quite literally fucks with my face.
We as consumers actually have the power to question where what we eat comes from and the lives those animals have lived. And we should, because green washing is peaking off its head. At the end of our forks are lives that have been lived, or, have been abused.
As you ponder this, and I really urge you to, please sign the petition in my stories or in my linktree to save Olivia and email [email protected], the owner of MIDLAND BACON PIGGERY to surrender Olivia.
She, Olivia the pig, like all of us, has a right to know what kindness, freedom and living looks and feels like.
Sign this petition to apply pressure to release Olivia.
Sign this petition to demand stricter laws against beastiality in Victoria.
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Previously I always looked for the metaphorical invisible door for me to escape. Whereās the exit when it gets tough, hard, too much, too close, too vulnerable? That door was something I kept very close to me.
But in the lead up to our wedding, writing vows to Steve and the girls, that door was disappearing. And on the day, our magnificent wedding day, it went. I was in. All the way in.
I know that I can leave at anytime, but I donāt want to. Before, it was a fantasy I played into a lot. Now, itās not even an option unless it really needs to be an option.
Thatās what has changed. All of me is in. This is a big deal due to my past and always needing āalonenessā to be safe. Aloneness is one of my coping strategies that is laying to rest. Now, my fks can be saved for loving with all of me, not just some of me.
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Thereās cleaning and then thereās CLEANING!
Everyone knows that I love a clean, tidy, aesthetically pleasing home. And the ones closest to me know when Iām cleaning because the house needs it, or when I clean because I need it.
Cleaning for me became a coping strategy when I was younger. There was a hidden memory jammed up inside me that was causing disturbance. I didnāt have conscious access yet to the memory but my body did. Waves of emotion would surge and the only way I knew to get rid of it in order to cope was to clean.
I rearranged my room, wardrobe, books, underwear, strip my sheets and all the rest to bring some kind of order back into the world. āAhhhhh, now itās rightā, was the thought and feeling. But of course, it didnāt last long.
Now knowing this locked up memory, I used cleaning and still do at times to this day, as a way to gain control of reality. To make it right in my mind because my insides are having some sort of conniption. I try not to judge myself or tell myself Iām a failure at not fully healing this coping mechanism. The way I approach it now is by asking myself, āam I cleaning the house because the now needs to be cleaned, or am I cleaning the house because something in me feels out of control?ā
This means Iām aware of what Iām doing, why Iām doing it and whilst I clean to gain control, I enquire, get curious and talk to the part of me inside that needs acknowledgement, love, care.
Always, a work in progress.
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