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When you take your next best step guided by your inner knowing, you begin a journey of natural evolution. Each step, rooted in your authentic self, paves the way for the next, creating a path that aligns with your true essence. Over time, these steps build upon each other, leading you to places you never imagined. This process is organic and fluid, allowing you to grow and evolve in harmony with your inner wisdom. By trusting this inner guidance, you not only move forward but also deepen your connection to your true self, creating a life that is genuinely fulfilling and aligned with who you are.
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It's easy to give a lot of care to things that, in the grand scheme of things, don't really matter. Our egos often convince us to prioritize superficial concerns, social status, and external validation. However, our true essence knows better. It guides us to focus on what truly matters, to give the right kind of fucks. Living authentically means aligning with this deeper wisdom, caring deeply about the things that genuinely enrich our lives and reflect our true values. It's about finding the courage to let go of ego-driven worries and instead, nurture what is truly right, good, and meaningful for our authentic selves.
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Fehlende Folgen?
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This morning, Steve held space for me in the midst of a raw emotional release.
I've been doing EMDR therapy for the past five weeks now, allowing and processing the raw emotions from childhood sexual abuse that I haven't felt in its purity. No bloody wonder why - IT'S. A. LOT.
As I journaled this morning, the emotion of anger was right there and I felt it in all its power and fucked-off-ness. Steve could sense that I wasn't quite myself and I let him know I was processing some stuff. He was about to go on his merry way and leave me to it when he got an intuitive sense to come upstairs and ask me if I needed a hug. My little Miss Independent didn't want to let him in, but instead, I chose to drop into his arms and let out the raw emotion.
Today's episode is about both our takes on this situation and how holding space for the other in relationships is so damn necessary.
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In my book I write about living a life that feels intrinsically right, good and true for us.
A life that we get to dance with and make up the dance moves and rhythm and pace as we go along.
A life that is so ours, so very much considered and intuited, a life that also considers the lives of others, all beings.
This is the life of someone who is in touch with their authentic nature and plugged into their core values, their heart, their truth. This is the life of someone who has chosen to step off the societal norm treadmill and dare ask, āhang on, is this even my life?ā
I get it isnāt an easy question to ask because often we we ask the question, weāre bound to receive an answer from the well of truth that resides inside. At the same time, something in you is so relieved youāve dared to ask because it, your true nature, can talk to you and guide you home to what you know deep down is right good and true for you.
Let us be willing, albeit scared, to dare ask if how we are living and how we are showing up is indeed true to who we are.
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Living true to our own pace and rhythm is about honoring the unique cadence of our lives, rather than conforming to the timelines imposed by society. It's a reminder that our journey is deeply personal and cannot be rushed or dictated by external expectations.
When we tune into our inner rhythm, we reconnect with our true essenceāthe part of us that knows what feels right and authentic. This means allowing ourselves the space to move, grow, and evolve at a pace that feels natural and aligned with our deepest desires. By embracing our individual journey and trusting in our own timing, we empower ourselves to live authentically and wholeheartedly, free from the pressure to measure up to society's standards.
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I had a magical moment this morning whilst sitting on the canal, listening to beautiful music and chatting with the forces at be.
For some time I have not been my most vital in energy and also in well-being. My guts are crook, pretty much always bloated, I've been experiencing brain fog, forgetfulness, losing the thread of thoughts and increasing fatigue. If I hadn't have known about per-menopause, which to be real I only heard of two years ago, I'd think I am quite literally losing my mind.
Anyway. When I am not right in my body, it is harder for me to connect to my Spirit and hear what it is wanting to share with me. After a session and being in the care of my dear friend and peri-menopause Queen, Dr Kirstey Holland, today I woke up for the first time in a long want feeling closer to and connected to my intrinsic nature.
So I took myself, my journal, airpods and chai latte for a stroll along the canal and sat on a bench. A moment with the forces at be and me. And boy did we have some seriously good chats.
In today's episode I share the insights that landed. Enjoy.
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If you find it difficult to communicate what's on your mind and/or heart in your relationship or the person you're dating, do you know why?
Do you know the story that keeps you from sharing, speaking, expressing?
Do you know the wound that the story was built upon?
Do you know the things you tell yourself that leads to 'ahhh, it doesn't matter, I won't bother saying anything, all good."
Steve has helped me have the hard chats. Typically (in my default pattern) I avoid hard chats. I haven't liked the awkwardness and the underlying fear is usually "this will lead to it ending". I've learned through our relationship that you can have hard chats and be clear and kind, and remain together. A new belief I'm happy to have!
In today's episode we talk about how we frame up difficult conversations and why it matters to keep having them.
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"I am tired of tolerating ......"
"I am tired of accepting ...... in my relationship."
"I am tired of speaking to myself poorly."
"I am tired of these behaviours I keep playing out ......"
"I am tired of the way I show up at work events and around colleagues."
Once you have your answers, the next question is ...
What am I willing to do about this? What is my next best step?
Self enquiry leads to greater knowing of who you are behind the you you think you have to be. It's worth asking the question.
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If I waited until I wasn't afraid to go after the things that mattered to my heart and my life, I'd be waiting a long (long) time.
A part of me was afraid to leave nursing, make my own money and create my own life.
A part of me was afraid to start my business, speak on stage, create programs, run events, write a book and put myself out there.
A part of me was afraid to fall in love, commit and get married.
Because what if I failed? What if I got hurt? What if I looked like an idiot? What if I fell flat on my face and somewhere, someone would say, 'told ya so!'
The truth is, a part of us is going to be afraid when we do, say or go for something that is beyond what we're used to doing. Let the fear be there instead of fight it or will it out of your existence before you go for that something.
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You know those uplevels where itās happening from the inside out? A grumble, a pulse, a rise of āsomethingā that is so darn powerful that you know itās going to rearrange the way you see yourself, others and life?
Itās that space between letting go of the self that got you here and welcoming in the self youāve been rooting for. Thereās excitement, fear, unsureness (is that even a word?), curiosity, grief, gratitude, silence, noise, questioning, faith all at once.
If you find yourself here, may you save your fucks for giving thanks to the self that carried you to this very place and set your own practice of acknowledgement until it feels right in you. May you welcome in the self that seeks to be embodied with an ease, grace and warmth.
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Steve and I are being tested at the moment. We're in sleep debt. We're sleeping in separate beds. Why? Lately, Steve's snoring has reached new heights and we've gotten into an anxious sleep cycle where Steve is worried he'll snore, so isn't getting deep sleep. I'm worried I'll hear him snore so I'm stressing about getting to sleep first.
This resulted in poor deep sleep and waking up feeling less than fresh. So, we're sleeping separate whilst Steve looks into his snoring and whilst we're catching up on sleep and beginning to be in sleep credit, the closeness of us is strained. Yes we cuddle when I come downstairs but it's different than falling asleep together and waking up snuggling.
And so, this is our reality and we're navigating with as much awareness as we can whilst being slightly off with one another. Not enough to be dire, but enough to feel it.
Today's episode is us sharing this in more depth and what we do when we're tested.
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Previous episodes:
Relationships & Seven Game Changing Words
Relationships & Setting Agreed IntentionsSupport the Show.
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Animals have my heart. Period. When their true nature and innocence are taken advantage of, disregarded and used for pleasure, entertainment, food convenience and money, my soul breaks. Something breaks inside me.
A pig at MIDLAND BACON PIGGERY in Victoria Australia has been sexually assaulted by a male, the farm owners son in fact. @dominionmovement are doing their best to free Olivia the pig, @changedotorg have a petition to sign to apply pressure to surrender her so she can be taken into the hands of kindness and care.
Factory farmed animals have little regard in the legal system and therefore protection because they are seen as food and money makers. I get that farmers hands are often tied by the bigger corporations but to have farmers (humans) use their power against an innocent and confined animal quite literally fucks with my face.
We as consumers actually have the power to question where what we eat comes from and the lives those animals have lived. And we should, because green washing is peaking off its head. At the end of our forks are lives that have been lived, or, have been abused.
As you ponder this, and I really urge you to, please sign the petition in my stories or in my linktree to save Olivia and email [email protected], the owner of MIDLAND BACON PIGGERY to surrender Olivia.
She, Olivia the pig, like all of us, has a right to know what kindness, freedom and living looks and feels like.
Sign this petition to apply pressure to release Olivia.
Sign this petition to demand stricter laws against beastiality in Victoria.
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Previously I always looked for the metaphorical invisible door for me to escape. Whereās the exit when it gets tough, hard, too much, too close, too vulnerable? That door was something I kept very close to me.
But in the lead up to our wedding, writing vows to Steve and the girls, that door was disappearing. And on the day, our magnificent wedding day, it went. I was in. All the way in.
I know that I can leave at anytime, but I donāt want to. Before, it was a fantasy I played into a lot. Now, itās not even an option unless it really needs to be an option.
Thatās what has changed. All of me is in. This is a big deal due to my past and always needing āalonenessā to be safe. Aloneness is one of my coping strategies that is laying to rest. Now, my fks can be saved for loving with all of me, not just some of me.
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Thereās cleaning and then thereās CLEANING!
Everyone knows that I love a clean, tidy, aesthetically pleasing home. And the ones closest to me know when Iām cleaning because the house needs it, or when I clean because I need it.
Cleaning for me became a coping strategy when I was younger. There was a hidden memory jammed up inside me that was causing disturbance. I didnāt have conscious access yet to the memory but my body did. Waves of emotion would surge and the only way I knew to get rid of it in order to cope was to clean.
I rearranged my room, wardrobe, books, underwear, strip my sheets and all the rest to bring some kind of order back into the world. āAhhhhh, now itās rightā, was the thought and feeling. But of course, it didnāt last long.
Now knowing this locked up memory, I used cleaning and still do at times to this day, as a way to gain control of reality. To make it right in my mind because my insides are having some sort of conniption. I try not to judge myself or tell myself Iām a failure at not fully healing this coping mechanism. The way I approach it now is by asking myself, āam I cleaning the house because the now needs to be cleaned, or am I cleaning the house because something in me feels out of control?ā
This means Iām aware of what Iām doing, why Iām doing it and whilst I clean to gain control, I enquire, get curious and talk to the part of me inside that needs acknowledgement, love, care.
Always, a work in progress.
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I have to give thanks to Brene Brown for giving me the terminology for FFTs - first fucking time. Those experiences or situations you're in where it's new territory, new landscape and you're in pits of "what the fuck do I do here?"
It could be your FFT on a date after getting divorced, starting a podcast, having sex with a woman after being in a heterosexual relationship, writing a book, becoming a parent - basically anything for the first-fucking-time.
The stories in your head are loud. Your body isn't at ease or familiar with what is going on. There is no muscle memory of how to do this because, you've never done it before. And so, the limiting beliefs come up. The annoyances, frustrations, irritability and TO HELL WITH THIS rises.
Well, if you're there, then listen here, for how to manage yourself in an FFT.
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When I was at my lowest, even doing something for three minutes felt almost impossible. Almost. But even at my worst, I could do something good for three minutes. Three minutes of anything that could get me out of my most negative thoughts, that could break my stuckness. To this day, whenever Iām feeling out of sorts and disconnected with my true self, I take a moment. I consciously redirect my attention to doing something that I know can help me regroup. All it takes is three good minutes.
Three good minutes of standing with your feet on the grass, eyes closed, hands on your heart.
Three good minutes of listening to a song that takes you straight āhomeā, standing, swaying, feeling.
Three good minutes of sitting on a park bench, watching the world go by, listening to the birds, the trees, life.
Three good minutes of finding the suns light in your home, standing in it and letting it drench your face.
Three good minutes of your feet in a body of water ā the ocean, a creek, a puddle.
Not every one of these needs to be done everyday, itās more a matter of choosing three good minutes in your day to do something that brings you home. That gives you that feeling of, Ahh, there I am. Three good minutes where you find yourself, say hi to yourself and feel good that youāre still there. Because three good minutes a day is better than no minutes a day. Itās better than nothing, isnāt it? It may seem small and insignificant, but in practice, itās the small and insignificant done consistently that makes the big, significant shifts.
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Our wedding was 100% us. There was nothing about it that catered to who we thought we had to be, what vows we thought we had to write, who we thought we had to invite, what food and drinks we thought we should get, what we thought we had to wear, what photos we thought we should get and all the rest. Everything about it was us, which is why it was so damn magical.
The brief was - we want this to be an extension of us. Fun, casual, relaxed and epic vibes. And the day delivered it in spades. The amount of times we heard, "this wedding is so you guys", "your wedding is so real and authentic from the ceremony, vows, speeches, the lot", "this day is how all weddings ought to be", was endless. And we felt it too.
Today we share about our day, our highlights, why it was a blessing to wait to get married now instead of 2020 and how important it is to stay true to your real and genuine self when it comes to big days like these.
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Iāve done my best to keep this under wraps since April 2022 and now I can let the Penguin out of the bag! Itās with a big beating heart that I can now share openly that Iām writing my first book with @penguinbooksaus š§.
When I received an email from them wanting to chat about the possibility of writing a book, I thought I was being scammed (lol), like for real. But it was indeed legit and Iām so stoked to fulfil this calling of writing books and sharing my heart with you all.
August 18th is when she comes out into the world with pre orders coming soon.
It's been and still is a process that has asked a lot of me, and I am loving every moment of it.Support the Show.
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This is a ripper story. My beautiful client and now friend, KG, left love off her intention setting because she thought it'd never happen. She didn't want to feel the pain of it never coming true if she had it on her vision board, so, she left it off to not feel or address the wounds that were sitting underneath it all.
When I said to her, "is love and a relationship important to you?", she said, "Kat fucking John, GO AWAY!" And so, we went to work on what stories were in her head, what situations took place when she was younger and what she made that mean about her and love.
You'll love this epic episode with a very happy ending. But kudos to KG, she put in the hard yards and the "why the fuck am I doing this' work to call in real love.
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In this month's episode of us sharing insights into our relationship, we reflect and share how not-so-good we have been in the past six weeks, how at times we've been hanging on by a thread questioning our relationship, using some tools to 'get us by' and avoiding the real hard chats we needed to have.
Yeah, relationships are real, aren't they?
When two people are truly in love yet stuck in ego-town, it's vital to know the work and do the work to not give up on the work and reconnect to the end result of their relationship. We also share our personal experiences and vulnerabilities, making it uber clear that we are human and shit the bed at times when it comes to our relationship. The tools and back to basics is where it's at.
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