Episodes
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It’s that time of year again! As you may know, we open applications to become a TFI Advocate only a couple times each year, and this November is one of those opportunities. If you’re considering applying, today’s episode is the perfect chance to learn more about what becoming a TFI Advocate journey really looks like.
That’s because we have the special treat of hearing from one of our most recently launched Advocates, Justin Meehan.
Justin and his wife have been foster parents for the last three years. Currently, they have three biological children and a soon-to-be adopted son. Justin is a newly launched TFI Advocate in Rochester, NH, where he is bridging the gap between his church and the local state foster care agency.
In this episode, you’ll hear what kind of support and community TFI Advocates receive, how seeing the struggles caseworkers are facing firsthand opened Justin’s eyes to their unmet needs, why answering just one question for your local church can help them get involved in foster care, and so much more.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/justin-meehan-254/
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To make a positive impact on the foster care community, we need action on both a personal and systemic level. We need community members who are willing to step up and support individuals directly, but we also need leaders capable of creating policies that address real challenges.
My guest for this episode, Lynn Johnson, is someone who has stepped into both of these roles. Lynn served as Assistant Secretary for the Administration for Children and Families in the US Department of Health and Human Services, which is a Senate-confirmed appointment where she led over 60 programs designed to make a real impact on lives all across the country. It was in this position that she created the ALL IN Foster Care and Adoption Challenge as a national call for people at all levels of government, as well as community members, to commit to being ALL IN for America’s children.
Today, she continues this work as the President of ALL IN Empowering Futures, a non-profit agency combating the crises of children aging out of the foster care system, adoption, poverty, and human trafficking.
In this episode, Lynn shares the lessons she’s learned from serving the foster care community on both a broad and personal scale, what she feels is the true measure of a successful program, how we can best serve adults who were formerly in foster care, and much more.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/lynn-johnson-253/
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Missing episodes?
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Have you ever had a foster placement or adoption plan fall through? Initially, you feel excited about the prospect of welcoming another child into your home. You start gathering things you think the child may need. Clothes. Toys. School supplies. But then you get another call that the plan is being changed. On one hand, you’re grateful there’s still a plan to keep the child safe, but on the other hand you feel a deep sense of loss and grief.
Learning to hold multiple conflicting emotions is a core part of foster care. All along the journey, we are holding both joy and grief. Beauty and hardship. Holding on and letting go.
My guest today knows precisely what this feels like. Melissa McGilliard has been married to Chris for sixteen years and is a stay-at-home mom to their three boys, the youngest of which joined their family through foster care.
In this episode, Melissa shares some of the raw emotions she has experienced as a foster parent, why better understanding herself has helped her better support her adopted child, and the importance of allowing your heart to hold conflicting emotions.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/melissa-mcgilliard-252/
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“I couldn’t become a foster parent because I’d get too attached.”
This is a sentiment we’ve heard many times from those considering foster care.
We know that foster care is full of the good and the hard; both beauty and brokenness. Overcoming our fears and holding space for both of these things is no easy task. And in my guest’s experience, the fear of getting too attached is the very thing that makes you a good candidate to become a foster parent.
Caitlyn Baten has been married to her best friend, Tim, for six years. She’s an adoptive and foster mom, is passionate about advocacy and ethical storytelling, and is a devoted follower of Christ. Caitlyn spent most of her professional career in the counter-trafficking space and now works for Buckner International where she comes alongside churches and engages them in the domestic and international work they do.
In this episode, Caitlyn shares her honest experience of becoming a foster parent, why becoming attached to a whole family is important, practical advice for preparing for visits with biological parents, and the importance of giving yourself space for heavy emotions when a child reunifies.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/caitlyn-baten-251/
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Open adoptions began in 1975, but they didn’t become more common until the 1990s. Today, 9 out of 10 adoptions are open. While open adoptions are far more common today, adoptive parents may have concerns and fears about navigating that relationship with a child's birth parents. Likewise, birth parents are often worried about finding the place they belong in the process and entrusting someone else to care for their child while still maintaining a relationship.
Today, I have the privilege of learning from and listening to someone who was formerly in foster care and who is also a birth mother. Jori Victory is an advocate for healthy, open adoption, mental health resources, and post-placement care for birth mothers. She lives in Utah with her four children.
In this episode, Jori shares with us her experience of navigating the birth and adoptive parent relationship, the importance of remaining in a child’s life, the loss that can come with not knowing your biological parents, and the challenge of discovering your identity in the midst of complex circumstances.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/jori-victory-250/
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TW: This episode contains mentions of drug use, physical abuse, and sexual abuse. If these topics could be triggering for you or others, we wanted you to be aware of these topics before listening.
The trauma of our past can often define us and inform what we think and how we behave. This can create a cycle in which we are far more likely to repeat the mistakes of those who have gone before us.
As Darnella Miller was growing up, her mother was caught in a cycle of drug addiction, placing Darnella in many unsafe situations that led to multiple forms of abuse and eventually removal from her mother’s care.
Today, Darnella is the Founder and CEO of BornCovered, a program where she gets to use her personal journey through foster care, teenage parenthood, and aging out of the system to empower, support, and uplift young girls and youth facing similar challenges. A Brooklyn native, Darnella is deeply committed to her family. She is happily married, with three daughters and three bonus sons.
In this episode, you’ll hear the emotions children may experience when being placed in foster care, how Darnella has broken generational cycles, and how the system can offer valuable support.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/darnella-miller-249/
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There can be a lot of pressure on foster parents to always step up and say “yes” to each placement. One of the reasons many became foster parents was to be able to make a significant difference, so doesn’t that mean accepting as many placements as you are able?
But what happens if you say “no” to a placement? What if you say “no” when a child in foster care is able to be adopted?
My guests, AJ and Katrina Nowaczyk, know what it feels like to have to say “no.” They have fostered nine children. While they didn’t set out to only foster, they learned a lot whenever the opportunity to adopt a child came up. In multiple cases, the circumstances pointed to needing to say “no.”
In this episode, you’ll learn what goes into saying yes and no, that there is no one-size-fits-all formula, and the importance of approaching each situation with prayer.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/prayerful-decisions/
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In terms of foster care, my guest has experienced it all. She entered foster care at age four and then reunited with her mom only to be removed from her mother’s care again. In total, she had twelve placements, lived in a group home, and would finally make the decision to emancipate.
Tori Petersen is a bestselling author, national speaker, and Bible teacher. She shares her testimony and life as authentically as possible to help and offer hope to others. Tori is known for her fierce advocacy work for foster care, adoption, and vulnerable children. At home, she is a wife and mama, who deeply values family, community, and hospitality.
In this episode, Tori shares what life was like as a young child, the ups and downs of her life in foster care, positive aspects of her experience that made a lasting impact on her life, how she found hope for the future, and much more.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/foster-care-tori-petersen/
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It's not as common that we get to hear the perspective and experience of biological parents in the foster care community, but it's such an important perspective for us to hear and understand.
My guest, Ashley, found herself caught in addiction after being exposed to narcotic painkillers during a hospital stay for several clots in her brain. When her drug use spiraled out of control, it led to her son being removed from her custody and put into foster care. Ashley’s story is one of brokenness but also one of redemption.
In this episode, you’ll hear about the circumstances that can lead to a child being removed, the unique perspective of a birth parent, the complexity of addiction, and the important role foster parents can play.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/birth-parent-perspective/
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Parenting is not for the faint of heart. It takes work every day to understand how to best love our kids, teach them, and correct them. Add to that learning how to parent a child who has gone through trauma, and you realize you need a completely different set of tools. Strategies that may have worked for our biological children now seem to have the opposite effect on our kids.
Kristin Berry is the co-founder of The Resilient Caregiver (formerly The Honestly Adoption Company), an author, podcaster, as well as a foster and adoptive parent. She is passionate about helping caregivers learn how to reframe their perspective on their child’s trauma history and respond to behaviors with compassion and connection. Kristin and her husband, Mike, have fostered for nine years and have had 23 children come through their doors.
In this episode, Kristin gives practical insight into why traditional parenting doesn’t work for kids who have experienced trauma, how you can parent in a way that promotes connection, and how to take away the power of negative behaviors.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/kristin-berry-trauma-informed/
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Have you wanted to foster or adopt but just don’t know if it’s the “right time?” My guest for this episode can relate! Jason Johnson and his wife knew they wanted to become foster parents, but were unsure when they should pursue it or how it might affect their biological children.
Jason is a speaker, writer, former pastor, and church planter who encourages families and equips church and organizational leaders on their foster care and adoption journeys. He is also the Director of Church Mobilization and Engagement with Christian Alliance for Orphans (CAFO). Jason has a deep passion for seeing the gospel catalyze a movement of foster care in the church around the world. Jason and his wife, Emily, are foster and adoptive parents who live in Texas with their four daughters.
In this episode, you’ll hear how Jason started his foster care journey, how to find the “perfect” time to foster or adopt, tips for navigating the concern of loving a child that might leave your family, and learn a new way to look at comments from strangers about your adoptive or foster family.
Whether you are currently a foster parent, are considering becoming one, or know someone who is, I know you will be encouraged by what Jason shares in this conversation!
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/jason-johnson-perfect-time/
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Does this sound familiar to you? The child in your care comes home from school and after having a snack and telling you about their day, you sit down to help them with their homework. In an instant, it’s like you have an entirely different child. They throw themselves on the floor in rage or even check out entirely at the mere mention of homework.
Or maybe you receive what feels like daily calls from their school updating you about something that happened during the day or asking you to come pick them up early.
These are just a couple of many scenarios you may find yourself in when caring for a child who has experienced trauma. It can feel like all the tactics you’ve learned or used in the past don’t work anymore. My guest today can relate!
Cherilyn Orr has a background in education spanning from the pre-school to university level along with extensive professional development in trauma-informed care. Launched out of her own need as a parent to help her children, Cherilyn developed the Stoplight Approach which simplifies complex brain science into a common language to transform relationships. She is a mother to many—three biological, four adopted, and multiple children through foster care.
In this episode, you’ll learn what is going on inside your child’s brain in these chaotic moments, what the Stoplight Approach is, and some practical tools for trauma-informed care to add to your toolbelt.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/cherilyn-orr-248/
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What happens when a child ages out of foster care? In addition to processing the grief of what they’ve lost, children in this circumstance have to navigate the world as an adult sometimes completely on their own.
This is the story of my guest today. Jessica Cawthorn and her siblings were cared for by extended family after the death of her parents. But in the 9th Grade, Jessica formally entered foster care and aged out of the foster care system at 18 years old.
Today, Jessica works for the Administration of Children and Families and is a Texas CASA Board Member. She is married to her husband, Jonathan, and they have three children together—two through adoption and one by birth.
In this conversation, you’ll hear some of the circumstances that led to a failed adoption, how Jessica faced aging out on her own, and practical ways we can support children who are about to age out of care.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/jessica-cawthorn-247/
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“I may be single and fostering by myself, but I am far from alone.”
Community is a crucial aspect of anyone’s journey of becoming a foster parent as you navigate court dates, visitations, doctor’s appointments, school activities, big emotions, and more. When you’re a single foster parent, juggling all of those dynamics can be even more complex.
Emma Finton had a passion ever since she was young to become a foster parent, and ultimately became a licensed foster parent in November of 2022. She is currently providing care for two children. On top of that, she enjoys her work as a nanny.
In this episode, Emma shares how she knew it was the right time to become a foster parent, the challenges of being a single foster mom, tips she uses to manage the chaos, and the importance of having a supportive community around you.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/emma-finton-246/
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At four years old, Sheena Wood was told that she had to make herself “adoptable.”
She had medical challenges with her eyesight, feeling lost and alone as she navigated the journey of foster care, moving from foster home to foster home throughout her early childhood. She felt rejected and didn’t know if anyone would want her or if she would be able to find a place to belong.
Today, Sheena is a mother of five, married to her college sweetheart, and serves in a church in Florida along with her husband, Josh.
In this episode, Sheena shares what it was like to experience foster care, how well-intentioned advice can go wrong, why our words matter as caregivers to children who have experienced trauma, and why “Amazing Grace” helped her feel truly seen.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/sheena-wood-245/
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Regardless of our place in the foster care community, understanding who we are, who we belong to, and where our sense of security comes from is vital to our confidence in where we belong.
It is such an honor to have Trisha Priebe on the podcast. She’s an adoptee and adoptive mom who serves as the Sr. Communications Coordinator for Lifesong for Orphans. Trisha is also a speaker and writer who has published 16 books. She lives in Michigan's Upper Peninsula, where she is wife to her husband, Luke, and is mom to three.
In this episode, we explore why every adoptee’s experience is unique, how foster care and adoption teach us the complexity of love, why parenting any child is a leap of faith, and the importance of helping our children identify truth.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/trisha-priebe-244/
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This week, I have a powerful story to share with you from a former foster child, adoptee, and advocate for human rights.
I am honored to introduce you to my guest, Dr. Mary Ann McMillan. She is a passionate advocate for foster youth and adoptees, whose advocacy is deeply personal because it’s inspired by her own experience as an adoptee who spent many years in foster care. Mary Ann serves as a professor and administrator at Jessup University in California and has previously served as a missionary in Ukraine and the Czech Republic, leading trainings in nearly 30 countries.
In this episode, you’ll hear Mary Ann’s personal experience in the foster care system, the importance of understanding and processing your past, the important role therapy has played in her story, and much more.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes for this episode: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/mary-ann-mcmillan-243/
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When foster care feels overwhelming, how do we hold on to hope? How do we define success? How do we find light when so much feels dark?
Nate and Kristen Crew are my guests on the podcast today. They have been married for almost 15 years and have 7 children – four adopted through foster care and three by birth. Rather than a specific “calling” to foster, they pursued foster care out of a desire to live out the basic commands in Scripture to care for those who are vulnerable. Nate is a pastor at CityLight Church in Virginia and together they love to encourage others through what God has taught them.
In this episode, you’ll hear how Nate and Kristen strive to live out their calling as Christians, the difference that reliance on God has made in their story, why it doesn’t require a “special moment” to start getting involved with foster care, how to hold on to hope when the journey is hard, and more.
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/nate-kristen-crew-242/
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For teens (and for any child in foster care), how can we create spaces where they are safe, feel belonging, and develop their sense of independence? How can we give them involvement in the development of what that space looks like?
My guest today is a dear friend, Chandler James. Chandler used to be an Advocate Coach here at The Forgotten Initiative and today is the Director of Church Mobilization for The Riverside Project, a nonprofit dedicated to transforming the foster care system in Houston. Chandler and his wife, Caitlin, are foster parents and are currently supporting four teens, three of whom have aged out of foster care and one that they have permanency of.
In our conversation, you’ll hear helpful principles for creating a sense of belonging for children who have experienced trauma, the challenges they’ve experienced of supporting teens as young parents, how to communicate boundaries while providing independence, the importance of caring for teens in foster care, and so much more.
Find links to resources mentioned and more in the show notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/chandler-james-241/
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You may have seen us talking about our brand new podcast Just Neighbors. Well today, we're sharing one of those conversations right here on The Forgotten Podcast! This was such a powerful episode, with challenging and honest takeaways for those who follow Christ in our complex world.
Just Neighbors is a podcast for every believer who desires to live as Jesus lived – to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with God and neighbor. My co-host, Ryan MacDonald, and I are joined by Dr. Krish Kandiah for this conversation about how to combine word and deed to provide belonging for our neighbors.
Krish is the founder of The Sanctuary Foundation, a charity supporting refugees to find welcome, work, and worthwhile housing in the UK. His mission is to help solve some of society’s seemingly intractable problems through partnerships across civil society, faith communities, government, and philanthropy.
In this episode, Krish helps us understand the important work they are doing, the largest challenges he sees for people who are removed from their homes, and how Christ followers should respond to the complex conflicts happening across our world. Beyond that, he guides us in seeing that displacement is happening all around us, as children are placed in foster care, people move to a new city for their jobs, and people feel like they don’t belong.
Listen in!
Find resources mentioned and more in the show notes: https://theforgotteninitiative.org/krish-kandiah-240/
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