Episodes
-
When a woman discovers her husband's pornography use, her whole world gets turn upside down.
Oftentimes she now thinks that everything was a lie. Their whole relationship was fake. They don't even know who their husband is anymore.
Given how much damage is done, many women experience what's called betrayal trauma.
In this episode I share with you the 5 indicators that a woman is experiencing betrayal trauma, then I share with you three specific things that you can do to address it together.
For therapy with Sam:
I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.
If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.
Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with me directly.
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.
Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
-
When a spouse is gone for the day or weekend and a man is all alone, it's a common trigger.
In this episode I share 3 specific things you can do to make sure that those periods of being alone won't cause another setback.
For therapy with Sam:
I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.
If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.
Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with me directly.
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.
Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
-
Episodes manquant?
-
Change is 100% if you have the right ingredients.
In today's episode, I want to introduce to you a man who has found success, and 2 years later, he continues to to do well, have a strong marriage, and help other people in their struggles with quitting porn.
This path can I often feel discouraging and depressing because most men experience countless failures and setbacks along the way.
The common thread is that men just don't know what to do to eliminate their problem, despite putting in effort and being desperate for change.
Check out this episode to see the specific things that helped Todd restore his relationship and conquer his problem.
For therapy with Sam:
I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.
If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.
Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with me directly.
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.
Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
-
Initiating conversations can be very difficult for a husband to do.
If his wife is in a good mood, he doesn’t want to bring up the pain all over again.
If she's in a bad mood, he doesn't want to cause a fight or make things worse.
Thus, he avoids the conversations with her and she ends up feeling unseen, unloved, and all alone.
In this episode, I share with you specific ways you can address this situation so you can have very productive conversations without fighting and create closure and connection again in the relationship.
For therapy with Sam:
I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.
If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.
Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with me directly.
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.
Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
-
How do the conversations go when you talk about her pain?
Do they end with you feeling closer or further apart? Do you feel hopeless and inadequate, not knowing what to say to help her feel comforted?
For a wife, not getting the understanding and validation she needs creates hurt and anger, and the conversations just stall out leaving them both alone.
In this episode I share with you one of the main reasons why that happens and 2 things you can implement to change that dynamic.
For therapy with Sam:
I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.
If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.
Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with me directly.
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.
Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
-
Have you ever gotten into an argument with your spouse where you're talking about specific actions that he's committed to do but then doesn't follow through?
For a wife, it can feel really frustrating if there’s a lack of follow through because she often receives that as him not being committed or caring enough.
For a husband, it can be frustrating because if he’s working on things but then feels picked apart and like his efforts aren’t enough This leads to shutting down and distance.
So in today’s episode I want to share with you how are you can both navigate this together in a way that doesn't divide you but can help you find closer and confidence that you’re healing together.
For therapy with Sam:
I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.
If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.
Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with me directly.
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.
Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
-
"We've been spinning our wheels for 9 months... I'm in a worst place now than the day I discovered everything."
A couple reached out to me a few hours before recording this episode. They were both discouraged and frustrated add the slow pace of the process of healing.
No matter what they did, she just felt stuck and like she couldn't move forward because some key things in their approach were missing.
In this episode I share with you the top 3 things that can cause significant damage in a relationship and prevent it from healing.
I want to share these things with you and exactly how you can reverse them so you can make progress and move forward with closure.
For therapy with Sam:
I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.
If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.
Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with me directly.
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.
Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
-
This road to healing your marriage can be agonizing. So many people wonder how long will this take? They feel like they might not be able to hold on much longer.
The good news is that it’s actually not based on a specific timeline or a number of years. Rather it’s based on how quickly you can learn the skills that you need to have new experiences together.
Some couples can feel like they are in a completely different place in just a matter of weeks because they focus on learning the skills necessary to get them there.
What skills do you need to learn? This is what I discuss in today’s episode.
For therapy with Sam:
I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.
If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.
Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with me directly.
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.
Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
-
After the discovery of pornography use, it shatters the foundation of the entire relationship. Naturally, it becomes the center of most conversations as you try to resolve the issues and pain it causes.
Then after you start making some progress, many couples wonder how long they need to keep talking about things? They often tend to have the same conversations over and over again, so they wonder what the next steps are and when they can move forward without always talking about it.
In this episode, I share with you, the key indicators that you're ready to move forward and how you can find closure and resolution if you're not quite there yet.
For therapy with Sam:
Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with Sam
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.
Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
-
Couples can very easily get stuck when a husband has a slip up, acts like things are normal, and then his wife finds out that he searched for something and didn’t tell her.
This can cause a wife to spiral into distrust, self protection, anger and fear all over again and it has such a big impact on the relationship and their sense of progress together.
Her wall goes up, she feels suspicious of anything he says, can’t believe anything he says.
Tune in to today's episode to get to specific things you can do to work through this situation together.
For therapy with Sam:
Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with Sam
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.
Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
-
March 18th: Join the free 5 Day 'Overcome Your Urges' Challenge to get tools to resolve the root cause of your urges so you can eliminate them instead of resisting them.
It can be very discouraging when there is a mismatch between husband and wife, and how they view their progress.
If hey husband thinks he's making strides towards creating safety and rebuilding trust, but the wife doesn't agree, it's easy to feel overwhelmed and lose hope.
This episode, I share three specific things you can do to get on the same page together with your partner and create safety.
There are some activities that move the needle more than others. So in this episode I talk about the ones that matter most so you can focus your efforts on those.
For therapy with Sam:
Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with Sam
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.
Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
-
The idea of being in a relationship with a narcissist can feel overwhelming.
After all, a “personality disorder” is a serious thing…
But what if people slinging this diagnosis have been wrong the whole time?
What if there was different a way to understand why someone engages in destructive behaviors?
In this episode, I do a deep dive in unpacking narcissism and why this label usually makes it hard for both people to make progress and change.
I share what really drives negative behaviors in a relationship and how you can actually change without needing medication or some other intervention to control symptoms.
For therapy with Sam:
Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with Sam
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.
Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
-
Safety is necessary in order for relationships to be repaired after pornography use.
Many women default to using an emotional wall to keep themselves safe after they discover their husband's pornography use.
You've all heard about and have tried the tools – journaling, meditation, prayer, reading, etc.
But what if you try those things and you don't actually feel any better? What if you're not making progress, despite using all of the tools that you've learned about.
In this episode, I share with you exactly how to find closure and resolution as you're working on yourself and your marriage.
Most people leave out one key step that actually helps them to feel better.
So in this episode, I go deep into sharing what you can do to make the tools work for you.
For therapy with Sam:
Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with Sam
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.
Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
-
Safety is necessary in order for relationships to be repaired after pornography use.
Many women default to using an emotional wall to keep themselves safe after they discover their husband's pornography use.
As time goes on and he develops the skills and make the changes necessary, HE can become the source of safety for her and the relationship.
And when he is the source of safety, she can let the wall down and feel more connected and close with him.
In this episode, I share with you three different ways that you can free safety in your relationship.
For therapy with Sam:
Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with Sam
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.
Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
-
It's very easy for men to switch one bad coping mechanism (pornography) for another (food, video games, social media, TV, etc.).
Some people might see those things as far less harmful, so they allow themselves to do it.
However, swapping different coping mechanisms is actually really bad because the root of the issue remains unresolved, which sets you up to continue to spiral.
Why does this happen and how can we avoid it?
Check out the today's episode and get solutions to resolve this problem.
For therapy with Sam:
Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with Sam
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.
Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
-
In a relationship, having a strong feeling of security is so important.
When pornography addiction or habit is discovered, it completely undermines the security that she feels.
This causes lots of issues for both people and the relationship itself – a wall goes up, there's distrust, fear, inadequacy, and emptiness often felt by both people.
In today's episode, I'm sharing with you a specific tool you can implement right away so you can build security back into your marriage.
For therapy with Sam:
Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with Sam
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction
Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
-
Lots of people struggle with feelings of low self worth, unworthiness, inadequacy and a lack of self love.
Affirmations and being positive doesn’t seem to stick because we don’t actually believe the good things we are saying.
It can be hard to love ourselves if we mostly see all of our inadequacies and weaknesses. Especially if our shortcomings impact those who we love.
In this episode, I share with you, one of the most powerful tools to overcome feelings of inadequacy and low self worth, and instead feel self love and confidence.
I’ve been there and know how painful it is to feel unworthy and bad, but I’ve found a way to change how I see myself and I want to share it with you too.
For therapy with Sam:
Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with Sam
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction
Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Go to www.coupleshealing.org for free access now.
In the course you'll learn some of my top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
-
Have you ever had a good day with your spouse, then out of nowhere, you get hit with a wave of deep sadness.
Then you share the sadness and the conversation spirals and he doesn’t say much in response.
If you’re a husband, have you ever been faced with that situation and wanted to help her but had no idea how?
Did you feel discouraged because you thought you were in a better spot and had made progress, only to feel like you were back to square one?
This is a very common scenario for couples, and it's so easy to get stuck here.
However, this is an absolutely crucial moment to have these conversations go well so you can actually move forward and create closure instead of feeling derailed by the sadness or the impact of the past.
In this episode, I share with you the specific ways that you and your spouse can handle these conversations and feelings when they come up without them causing a spiral or a fight.
For therapy with Sam:
Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with Sam
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction
Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
-
When a pornography addiction or habit is discovered in a relationship, it causes significant damage.
Trust is broken, there's a lack of emotional safety, and it often causes a woman to redefine the entire relationship and question the past.
Despite the significant damage, couples who get the right tools can fully heal the pain of the past, eliminate pornography use, and move forward with closure and connection.
In this episode I share with you exactly how to move forward through the damage and how husband can be an influence for healing and stability in his.
For therapy with Sam:
I'll help you quit porn within the next 90 days (or I'll work with you for free until you do) – visit stopporn.info to get more information.
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction
Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
-
Most people don’t want to stay in pain any longer than they already have. They want the process to speed up, to find closure and peace sooner, and move forward with a feeling of resolution…
But what if she’s not ready to just leave it all behind?
So many men want to leave the past behind as quickly as possible, because they recognize the impact of their actions has had a tremendous effect on their wife.
He doesn't want her to suffer anymore than she already has, so in his desires to move forward, unintentionally, she feels left behind and her pain gets ignored.
This produces a cycle of her bringing up the past so she can find healing, but the husband sees it as a lack of progress, feels discouraged, and then tries to rush the process along even more.
If you've ever been caught in this pattern, in this episode I share with you one of the most important ways to navigate to move forward quickly while still making sure that the pain she feels is getting the attention and care it deserves.
For therapy with Sam:
I'll help you quit porn within the next 90 days (or I'll work with you for free until you do) – visit stopporn.info to get more information.
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction
Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
- Montre plus
