Joué
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I’ve got a very special invitation for you today.
Grab a spot on the couch next to me and my family here in Southern Vermont.
Join our family as our three kids discuss all the parenting mistakes Chris and I made – and the things we did that built trust and brought us all closer.
I’m really excited and proud to share this with you, even though there are moments where my kids absolutely school me.
They also share wisdom and insights that are so profound, you’ll hear Chris break down and cry.
This really isn’t a conversation about parenting at all. It’s about how you create a close and meaningful connection with anyone.
So whether you’re wondering how to get closer to your family or your friends, everything we discuss applies to all relationships.
This episode goes deep – we cover drinking, drugs, addiction, and what to do when teenagers stop talking to you or someone you love is dating someone that you don’t like.
And, since so many of you have written in asking about my approach to parenting after hearing our kids on various episodes of this podcast, I’m also sharing our parenting philosophy.
My family is getting real and raw in this discussion, and we’re inviting you to be a part. So join us. I can’t wait to hear your thoughts on this episode, and one thing you might want to consider is listening to it with your family. I guarantee you, it will spark very interesting discussions.
Xo Mel
In this episode, you’ll learn:
0:32: Why I recorded today’s episode
3:25: Meet the Robbins family
6:02: You keep asking: How are my kids so open with me?
7:30: A frank discussion on drinking
12:33: Why people don’t listen to you
14:10: What Chris and I think the whole point of parenting really is
18:27: Let’s talk about addiction, including groundbreaking new research from Mt. Sinai
25:15: Our #1 piece of advice that will keep people honest with you
30:55: What we mean when we say people in your life are “lie detectors”
33:07: Why showing your feelings to loved ones is so powerful
36:58: How to build connection with anyone
40:52: When you keep repeating patterns you wish you could break
44:44: Why you need to let kids be themselves
50:52: Why you shouldn’t let people bounce from uncomfortable situations
52:39: “I don’t like who my kid is dating” – advice that applies for any relationship
1:01:52: Our #1 piece of advice for you
For full show notes, go to melrobbins.com/podcast
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Today you and I are digging into three things you must accept about other people.
It took me years to understand these truths.
It sounds horrible, but I always wondered, “What’s wrong with people? Why don’t they change?”
I know you can relate. Because today I’m taking your questions about trying to change other people.
You’re frustrated by the fact that your spouse or partner won’t exercise more. You get angry seeing how much money your daughter wastes going out every weekend. You’re annoyed by how stubborn your parents have become the older they get.
Me too.
I’ve tried every tactic you can imagine to get other people to change. And recently I realized the true source of my frustration: It’s not them, it’s me.
I’m refusing to accept three things.
These things are hard to accept, and they’re true.
Once you hear them and you apply them to your life, your relationships will be way easier.
In addition to the three truths about other people, you’ll learn research that explains why it’s so hard to get other people to change. And like all episodes, this one is packed with tactical advice and takeaways that you can put to use immediately.
And, if you’re the one who’s busy making changes but your loved ones are not being supportive, I answer that question from a listener, too.
I feel compelled to answer your questions because so many of you are improving your life with the tools you’re learning on this podcast and your family is starting to get annoyed with you. That’s okay. It shows you’re making progress (but it doesn’t make it easy).
Hopefully today’s episode will.
Xo Mel
Key lessons:
3:12: 3 powerful truths you have to accept about people.
4:33: Rule #1 explained
6:02: How do you deal with people who don’t want to change?
9:00: Why some people can’t change.
12:42: I’m embarrassed to tell you this story.
19:49: Rule #2 explained
20:37: Rule #3 explained
21:44: My “6-month rule” for any complainer
32:03: What do when the people around you don’t support the changes you’re making
40:23: The science of “Myside bias” and what it says about human nature
For full show notes, go to melrobbins.com/podcast
Do you want to create a better morning routine? Join my free 5-day Wake Up Challenge and I’ll coach day by day on setting your day up for success here. -
The biggest secret to getting the life you want is understanding 3 words I hope you never forget:
Motivation. Is. Garbage.
Right now, think about something you want to change or improve.
I bet you know WHAT you want to change – and what you need to do.
But the 100 million dollar question is: HOW?
How do you get started?
And how do you keep going even when you don’t feel like it?
Look, if change was easy, we’d all have six-pack abs, a million dollars in the bank, and healed our trauma.
And that’s where this episode comes in: I teach you the HOW.
I cracked the code on motivation, and in the next hour, I’m sharing everything I know with you.
You’ll learn the secret to breaking old habits, creating new ones, and how to hack what neuroscientists call “activation energy.”
You’ll also learn one simple but incredible tool, that’s grounded in decades of research, and will change your life forever. This tool is a “cheat code” for motivation. It’s worked for millions of people and it will for you, too.
I wish that what I was about to tell you was something I had read in a book, but unfortunately, that's not how I tend to learn things.
I'm the kind of person who either has to fall into a hole that I didn't see to learn a lesson, or more likely, I screw up my life so badly, I dig the hole for myself.
This was me back in 2008. I was digging the biggest life hole ever. And that’s where this episode begins.
I was at the lowest point in my life. My husband’s business was failing, I was unemployed, on the brink of bankruptcy and divorce, I was drinking way too much, and to top it all off, I couldn’t even get up in the morning. Not the Mel Robbins you know today.
This is the exact moment I discovered the secret to hacking motivation – because I had to if I wanted to fix my own life.
And if I can do it, you can too.
If you're a new listener, you'll learn more about how I got to where I am today.
And if you've been a fan for a while, this episode will be a reminder of the power within you to make any change you can imagine.
At the end of the episode, I’ll also give you a free 5-day challenge – The Wake Up Challenge – to walk you through getting started with these tools: www.melrobbins.com/wakeup
You won’t believe how simple it is to transform your life, your work, and your attitude. I can’t wait to show you how.
Xo Mel
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In this episode, I am sharing 8 brand new studies and exciting new research about simple changes supported by science that can help you improve your day to day life, like…
How to cut your gym time IN HALF and still get the same benefits.
The surprising sound researchers say will boost your mood for EIGHT hours.
The research on how mindfulness reduces your anxiety by 30% - the same as Lexapro.
And so much more
I’m also joined by Tracey, who leads our research and has helped me produce five #1 Audible Originals and all the science behind it.
She’s found the studies; we are breaking them down together, and having a ball as we do.
This episode is going to make you smarter and is packed with the tactical, simple, and science-backed tools that I know you love learning on this podcast.
Pull up a seat and let’s go.
Oh! And one more thing. As always, all of the research - and there’s a lot of it - is linked in the show notes at melrobbins.com/podcast. And if you want to watch a longer, unabridged version of this episode, visit my YouTube channel.
Xo Mel
In this episode, you’ll learn:
0:13: Why the research studies and science you will learn today matter
4:35: Why you can trust the tools you learn on this podcast
5:56: Research study #1: A simple action that goes a long way
12:32: Research study #2: The way to build strength in just 3 seconds a day
19:25: Research study #3: The one sound that boosts your mood for hours
26:43: Research study #4: A powerful tool for anxiety
31:35: Research study #5: What a study with 20,000 high schoolers tells us about success
36:56: Research study #6: One thing you can do to create lifelong positive memories
44:43: Research study #7: How tiny guilty pleasures can strengthen your relationship with your partner
52:01: Research study #8: The habit with the largest impact on your quality of life
For full show notes, including a links to every single study and citation mentioned on today’s episode, go to melrobbins.com/podcast
