Episodes

  • This week, Liz and Dave interview Dr. Steven Stosny – author, educator, researcher, and one of the top marriage experts in the world. Dr. Stosny explains the underlying causes of disconnection, anger, and emotional abuse and how compassion – the “lifeblood of intimate relationships” - has the power to overcome their detrimental effects in marriage. Join us to learn how to create a deeper marital connection today.

    2:00 - Dave’s Fave: “How to Improve your Marriage Without Talking about It”

    3:20 - Communication is a function of connection.

    4:35 - Communication isn’t about information in a love relationship.

    5:50 – Connection is a mental state and a choice.

    6:13 – Connecting with your man – touch first.

    7:16 – Criticism is not an aphrodisiac.

    7:30 – The underlying cause of disconnection: blame, denial, and avoidance

    8:35 – Focus on what you want, not on what you don’t want

    9:35 – Resentment – the root of inter partner violence (IPV)

    10:00 - Act on your values, not your feelings

    10:30 – Overcoming feelings of resentment with compassion

    11:20 – Compassionate assertiveness

    13:10 – It’s not your driving, it’s my anxiety

    13:50 – People cannot be compassionate when they are defensive

    14:47 – Compassion is the lifeblood of intimate relationships.

    16:11 – Resentment and the laws of reciprocity and negativity

    18:21 – Every couple is different – test the research hypotheses to see if they apply to you

    21:16 – The core value skill

    22:11 – Improve, connect, appreciate, protect

    25:45 – Toddler brain vs the adult brain

    26:04 – Abuse is the misuse of the power inherent in attachment

    26:21 – The fuel of anger: vulnerability + threat

    28:33 – Motivation for emotion: approach, avoid, attack

    29:14 – Guilt in relationship is a distance regulator

    29:51 – The core value approach to relationship improvement

    33:19 – Dr. Stosny’s book, “Empowered Love”

    35:01 – Attachment: the secure base

    37:26 – Dr. Stosny’s website and resources (relationship bootcamps)

    39:05 – Signs of emotional abuse – the failure of compassion

    41:55 – How to have a deeper marital connection? Be true to your own values.

    43:35 – Takeaways of the day

    About [Podcast Guest]:

    Steven Stosny, Ph.D., is the founder of CompassionPower. His current book is Empowered Love. Among his previous books include, Soar Above: How to Use the Most Profound Part of Your Brain under Any Kind of Stress, Living and Loving after Betrayal, How to Improve your Marriage without Talking about It: Finding Love beyond Words, Love without Hurt, The Powerful Self, and Treating Attachment Abuse. He has treated over 6,000 clients for various forms of anger, abuse, and violence. He is an advisor Prince Georges County Circuit and District courts on domestic violence. He has appeared on “The Oprah Winfrey Show,” “The Today Show,” “CBS Sunday Morning,” many CNN shows, and in the New York Times, Washington Post, U.S. News & World Report, WSJ, Esquire, Cosmopolitan, O, Psychology Today, USA Today. He has taught at the University of Maryland and at St. Mary’s College of Maryland. His blog on Psychologytoday.com has over 20 million views.

    Dr. Stosny currently offers boot camps for chronic resentment, anger, emotional abuse and monthly workshops on various self-healing and relationship topics.

    Dr. Steve Stosny:

    https://compassionpower.com

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    podcast.strongermarriage.org

    https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook:

    https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group:

    https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group:

    https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

  • Join us as Dr. Dave and Dr. Liz discuss that the foundation for true connection is within ourselves. We will be talking about four guiding principles that will help you develop a meaningful marriage. Come to discover your strengths, learn how to turn towards your spouse, gain a vision for the marriage of your dreams, and see the value of fierce loyalty.

    0:00 –A happy “we” starts with a happy me: Four principles for happy healthy relationships.
    1:17 –What does it mean to start whole in marriage?
    3:10 –What is the best way to have a good marriage?
    3:58--What is the difference between roots and fruits in thriving relationships?
    5:05 --Foundations of friendship.
    5:48 –The Roots: The power of humility, compassion, & positivity.
    7:11 –Principle 1: Searching Inward
    8:20 –How do I discover my character strengths?
    9:38–What are Dr. Dave’s, Dr. Liz’s, & Rex’s top three Via Character Strengths?
    12:50 –What do I do once I discover my Via Strengths?
    13:35 –Building upon your partner’s strengths.
    14:30 –Principle 2: Turn Outward.
    15:50 –A word of caution.
    16:39 –How do I turn outward towards my partner?
    17:30 –See something -say something.
    18:24–Emotional attunement.
    19:10 –Principle 3: Look Upward
    20:33 –How do I maintain vision?
    21:49 –Principle 4: Press Forward.
    22:33 –Learning to forgive quickly.
    22:45 –Dr. Dave: Learning to stick it out.
    24:02 –Fierce commitment.
    25:00 –The 20% that drives you crazy.
    26:20 –Getting our hearts right: How are you perceiving each other?
    27:05 –Let’s Review: Turn Outward!
    27:40 –How could my partner possibly love me?
    28:20 –Let’s Review: Look Upward!
    28:37 –Grow as you go.
    29:02 –Let’s Review: Press Forward!
    29:21 –Love fluctuates, commitment should never waiver.
    30:48 –Nothing is ever wasted.
    31:13 –Takeaways & Wrap up.

    Links:

    “Beyond the Myth of Marital Happiness,” by Dr. Blaine Fowers

    https://www.viacharacter.org/

    “How To Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It,” by Pat Love and Steve Stosny

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    podcast.strongermarriage.org

    https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook:

    https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group:

    https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group:

    https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

  • Missing episodes?

    Click here to refresh the feed.

  • In this week’s episode, Stacy Goulding, shares her unique perspective on true intimacy. Whether you are a newlywed excited to kickstart your marriage in the bedroom, a parent hoping to better prepare your teen or adult child for healthy marital intimacy, or simply ready to deepen your own intimate relationship, there is something here for you!

    0:0 – Introduction: Who is Stacy Goulding?
    1:04 –What is intimacy? What to expect in the True Intimacy Class?
    3:30 –How do I talk to my adult kids about marital intimacy?
    5:48 –What happens when marital intimacy gets off on the wrong foot?
    6:40 –Avoiding unnecessary pain: the True Intimacy Class
    8:50 –Why is it necessary to startfamily planning conversations early?
    9:53 –Turning “the talk” into a conversation.
    11:11 –Not an expert? Try this.
    12:23 –Talking to kids about sex: How early is too early?
    14:25 –Recurring negative sexual experiences: What are they? How do we stop them? 16:52 –Honeymoon expectations: What should I talk about with my partner?
    18:55 –Bring these 2 things to your wedding night!
    20:00 –Learning to laugh together.
    21:06 –Consent is not constant.
    26:03 –Who is sex for?
    29:05 –Where can I find Stacy?

    Stacey Goulding is a licensed Health Educator, the creator of the True Intimacy class, and a wellness coach specializing in women and post-partum wellness. She also loves cycling, dancing, kayaking, pickle-ball, and classic rock. She resides in Utah with her husband and two sons.

    Links:

    https://www.trueintimacyclass.com

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    podcast.strongermarriage.org

    https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook:

    https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group:

    https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group:

    https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

  • In this week’s episode, Dr. Bill Doherty, explains the importance of both boundaries and intimacy in avoiding the consumer marriage. He describes how you can avoid the dangers of believing you are a marriage expert, detect harmful marital therapy, navigate marital difficulties as a novice, and ultimately commit to your marriage.

    0:0 – Introduction: Who is Bill Doherty?
    3:00 – Will 40-50% of marriages really end in divorce?
    4:05 – What’s the danger in acting like a marriage expert?
    9:54 – The value of commitment in 21stcenturymarriages.
    14:58 – What’s the difference between helpful & harmful marriage therapy?
    23:00 – How can I be married for life? Two powerful ingredients.
    27:00 – The consumer marriage & Marital First Responders.
    30:20 – What motivated Bill’s book “Take Back Your Marriage: Sticking Together in a World that Pulls Us Apart”?
    34:17 – How do marital rituals create and sustain happy marriages?
    39:12 – Takeaways& the consumer marriage: What about deal breakers?

    About:

    Bill Doherty is a Professor in the Department of Family Social Science at the University of Minnesota. A long-time marriage and family therapist, he is an expert on navigating marital crisis, avoiding divorce, and using family rituals to enhance the quality of family life. He is the author of“ The Intentional Family” and “Take Back Your Marriage”. In recent years Bill has taken this couples work to the national level via cofounding Braver Angels, an initiative working to decrease the political polarization that is dividing the country. dohertyfoundation.org. Check out “Insights and Invites” on the Stronger Marriage Connection webpage for key episode takeaways and tips on how to improve your marriage connection today!

    Links:

    https://dohertyfoundation.org

    https://braverangels.org

    https://maritalfirstresponders.org

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    https://strongermarriage.org

    podcast.strongermarriage.org

    https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook:

    https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    Facebook Marriage Group:

    https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group:

    https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

  • The doctors are in the house! In this introductory episode, meet Dr. Dave Schramm, a family life professor and extension specialist at Utah State University, and co-host Dr. Liz Hale, licensed clinical psychologist practicing in Salt Lake City, Utah.


    Dave and Liz interview each other and share their backgrounds and expertise in their fields. Dave also explains the why of the Stronger Marriage Connection podcast and goal of the show.

    Let's go!

    Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:

    podcast.strongermarriage.org

    Dr. Dave Schramm:

    https://drdaveschramm.com

    https://drdavespeaks.com

    Facebook:

    https://www.facebook.com/DrDaveUSU

    https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage

    Facebook Marriage Group:

    https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579

    Facebook Parenting Group:

    https://www.facebook.com/groups/542067440314642

    Dr. Liz Hale:

    http://www.drlizhale.com/

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.