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To start, there are trigger warnings on this episode around self-harm, suicidal ideation, sexual abuse, and other forms of trauma. Please do take care of yourself and reach out to someone for support.
Another personal episode this week with an exploration into partnership when complex post traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD) is present for at least one person involved. We are not experts in this field, nor are we trained therapists that can actually help with this diagnosis, so this is just our personal experience as a couple in a dynamic where C-PTSD is woven in.
We dive into a quick overview of what this is, name some of the differences with PTSD (which you may have more familiarity around), and every day examples of what can trigger different episodes, as well as some strategies that we have learned along this journey together.
Seeing a partner go through healing around this experience can be really hard to witness, so it is very important that the person without a C-PTSD background also tends to themselves and their needs so that they can actually support their partner. This is not about saving, but supporting.
We would love to hear from you around what resonates and any questions that you have! There is support and healing available. We love you so much!
P.S. Have you been wanting to start helping the queer and poly communities yourself by becoming a certified relationship coach? Have no fear, E created a coaching certification and business development program to help you accomplish just that called Love Mastery! Applications for the next cohort in 2025 just opened and there are also two scholarships available. Click here for more information and to put in your applications for the program and scholarship!Send us a text
Sending you so much love!
Love our show? Please rate and review! And share it with as many friends as you think would benefit!You can follow us on TikTok, IG or Twitter (@queer_and_poly).
Need guidance? Come to our monthly Q&A calls.
Want to work with us? Sign up for a Discovery Session!
Find out more on our Linktree.Until next time, keep loving y'all.
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This is a personal episode all around being in relationship with someone who experiences ADHD.
What are the challenges? What are the perks? What are the areas of learning available? And what happens when someone's experience of ADHD bumps up against different insecurities and limiting beliefs?
We explore all of this in today's episode and offer some practical tips and actions to take to create even more connection in your relationship when ADHD is present.
P.S. Have you been wanting to start helping the queer and poly communities yourself by becoming a certified relationship coach? Have no fear, E created a coaching certification and business development program to help you accomplish just that called Love Mastery! Applications for the next cohort just opened and there are also two scholarships available. Click here for more information and to put in your applications for the program and scholarship!Send us a text
Sending you so much love!
Love our show? Please rate and review! And share it with as many friends as you think would benefit!You can follow us on TikTok, IG or Twitter (@queer_and_poly).
Need guidance? Come to our monthly Q&A calls.
Want to work with us? Sign up for a Discovery Session!
Find out more on our Linktree.Until next time, keep loving y'all.
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Eksik bölüm mü var?
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We jokingly say this phrase often in our household, "don't talk about it, be about it". And it is our loving and fun way to express when there is a disconnect between what we say we want to do or see happen with the actual actions that are going on.
This episode is a deep dive into the misalignment with what we say and we are doing, especially when it comes to what we say we want in our relationships. You want to have more connection time with your partner in the week? Great. You continue to not take action to make that happen? Not great.
This is all about you (and us) getting into harmony with our words and our actions. This is the way to make the changes that you want.
P.S. Have you been wanting to start helping the queer and poly communities yourself by becoming a certified relationship coach? Have no fear, E created a coaching certification and business development program to help you accomplish just that called Love Mastery! Applications for the next cohort just opened and there are also two scholarships available. Click here for more information and to put in your applications for the program and scholarship!Send us a text
Sending you so much love!
Love our show? Please rate and review! And share it with as many friends as you think would benefit!You can follow us on TikTok, IG or Twitter (@queer_and_poly).
Need guidance? Come to our monthly Q&A calls.
Want to work with us? Sign up for a Discovery Session!
Find out more on our Linktree.Until next time, keep loving y'all.
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How quickly did you click on this episode because of this enticing topic? We have all had some experience around this - maybe it was your ex reaching out, maybe you were the ex, or maybe it was the ex of your best friend who continues to reach out again and again. It also makes for some dramatic story lines in movies and books so perhaps your mind also went there.
We dive into this topic through the queer and poly lens to explore what questions you can ask yourself in this process, as well as some conversation points to have with your ex. This is about slowing down and noticing what is present for you and your past partner, and discovering that if you are to start dating again, what is going to allow this to be a new experience and not a repeat of the past.
P.S. Have you been wanting to start helping the queer and poly communities yourself by becoming a certified relationship coach? Have no fear, E created a coaching certification and business development program to help you accomplish just that called Love Mastery! Applications for the next cohort just opened and there are also two scholarships available. Click here for more information and to put in your applications for the program and scholarship!Send us a text
Sending you so much love!
Love our show? Please rate and review! And share it with as many friends as you think would benefit!You can follow us on TikTok, IG or Twitter (@queer_and_poly).
Need guidance? Come to our monthly Q&A calls.
Want to work with us? Sign up for a Discovery Session!
Find out more on our Linktree.Until next time, keep loving y'all.
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We're talking about those dating "check boxes" when it comes to finding partners in queer and/or poly spaces!
This is something we know from our own experience and something we see A LOT with clients. You meet someone who seems cool and they happen to be queer and poly...obviously that means you should date, right?
No. No, it does not. And this is something that is not always happening on that conscious level, but more from the limiting beliefs and fears that run on the subconscious side of things. Don't worry, we go in deep on all kinds of examples - scarcity mindset, codependency, and lots more!
And we also give some other ideas on what you can be considering when it comes to compatibility for the relationships you actually want to create!
P.S. Our FREE Q&A call is happening this Saturday, August 10th, from 10am-12pm PST via Zoom! And this month's topic on deck....Dealing With Jealousy! What questions do you have when it comes to navigating relationships when jealousy is present, whether it is you or your partner or your metamour or maybe all of you? Let's give space for a topic that often has a lot of shame and guilt around it. We are here for you. Register for the call through this link!Send us a text
Sending you so much love!
Love our show? Please rate and review! And share it with as many friends as you think would benefit!You can follow us on TikTok, IG or Twitter (@queer_and_poly).
Need guidance? Come to our monthly Q&A calls.
Want to work with us? Sign up for a Discovery Session!
Find out more on our Linktree.Until next time, keep loving y'all.
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Here we are at part 2 of last week's episode all on E's creation - the Conflict Resolution Triangle! If you have not yet checked it out, give it a listen (it's a quickie!) so that you have an extra tool for your own relationships!
Today we talk about one of our recent moments of conflict/tension in our own relationship and break down the steps of the Conflict Resolution Triangle in the process. What does it look like in practice?
It's helpful to hear about the experiences of others because we can so easily relate to the emotions, challenges, stories, etc. - it's why group coaching and therapy are so potent. So, we wanted to let you get a look into how we apply these tools to our relationship and personal experience. We would love to hear from you on what resonates!Send us a text
Sending you so much love!
Love our show? Please rate and review! And share it with as many friends as you think would benefit!You can follow us on TikTok, IG or Twitter (@queer_and_poly).
Need guidance? Come to our monthly Q&A calls.
Want to work with us? Sign up for a Discovery Session!
Find out more on our Linktree.Until next time, keep loving y'all.
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Are you ready to learn a new tool to help navigating conflict be a bit easier? Of course you are!
Today is part one of a 2 part series all around the Conflict Resolution Triangle, which E created after seeing trends with clients around their main struggle with conflict in relationships. E breaks down the three parts of the triangle - repair, resolve, and reassure.
We go over some of the nuances that will still arise around this approach, as well as the signs to look for if the triangle is not actually complete. Our invitation to you is to start thinking on how you can apply this to your relationships. What of the three parts seems easiest for you? What seems hardest? Why?
And don't worry, we dive even deeper into this using an example from our own relationship in next week's episode so be sure to check it out to see how the Conflict Resolution Triangle gets used in the wild.Send us a text
Sending you so much love!
Love our show? Please rate and review! And share it with as many friends as you think would benefit!You can follow us on TikTok, IG or Twitter (@queer_and_poly).
Need guidance? Come to our monthly Q&A calls.
Want to work with us? Sign up for a Discovery Session!
Find out more on our Linktree.Until next time, keep loving y'all.
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Update time from our previous episode! Last week, E shared about what was coming up for her around her sexxuality - thoughts, worries, excitement, doubts, insecurities...you name it.
This week, E shares about what she is understanding more about herself around being a lesbian, how the conversations have gone that she mentioned last week were needing to be had, and what she has been learning in processing through this.
We also discuss navigating through experiences where someone else is unable to lovingly respond to your evolution, what that means, and moving beyond that. Whether changes are around your sexxuality, identity, relationship orientation, or anything else that arises as evolving human beings, this episode has little nuggets of gold to offer to you!
P.S. Our free Q&A call is happening on Saturday, July 13th, from 10am-12pm PST. And the topic for this month...your first year in poly relationships! What questions do you have on this? What experience do you need some guidance on? Register here for the call and we will see you there!Send us a text
Sending you so much love!
Love our show? Please rate and review! And share it with as many friends as you think would benefit!You can follow us on TikTok, IG or Twitter (@queer_and_poly).
Need guidance? Come to our monthly Q&A calls.
Want to work with us? Sign up for a Discovery Session!
Find out more on our Linktree.Until next time, keep loving y'all.
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Ever had an existential crisis with your sexxuality or queerness? In today's episode, we focus solely on E for her latest discovery around herself and it is a juicy exploration.
This is what it looks like to be raw and dive into things that you may not yet fully understand about yourself yet, and what a beautiful, vulnerable place. We unpack different layers of heteronormativity, gender roles, and the mess that that creates for us as queer folk in our own understanding of ourselves and our queer expression.
Is there ever a finish line with the fluid nature of this topic? No...but, that is also what makes unraveling more and more layers of this for yourself that much more worthwhile so that you can get closer and closer to your core essence.
What has been an existential crisis in your sexxuality in your life?Send us a text
Sending you so much love!
Love our show? Please rate and review! And share it with as many friends as you think would benefit!You can follow us on TikTok, IG or Twitter (@queer_and_poly).
Need guidance? Come to our monthly Q&A calls.
Want to work with us? Sign up for a Discovery Session!
Find out more on our Linktree.Until next time, keep loving y'all.
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Happy Pride! Here is the last episode that is part of our Pride series this year and we are focusing all on creating the beautiful queer relationships that you actually want to be in. Let's unravel what limiting beliefs and programming that is blocking you from actually creating the queer relationships that work for you.
We talk about some of the low hanging fruit in this topic, which would be the domestic types of roles we often think of in this context, but we also bring in some of the deeper rooted challenges that come from growing up in heteronormative society as a queer human. What do we see in the work we do with clients on this topic? What have we dismantled in our own relationship? Let's get into it!
P.S. Our free Q&A call is happening on Saturday, July 13th, from 10am-12pm PST. And the topic for this month...your first year in poly relationships! What questions do you have on this? What experience do you need some guidance on? Register here for the call and we will see you there!Send us a text
Sending you so much love!
Love our show? Please rate and review! And share it with as many friends as you think would benefit!You can follow us on TikTok, IG or Twitter (@queer_and_poly).
Need guidance? Come to our monthly Q&A calls.
Want to work with us? Sign up for a Discovery Session!
Find out more on our Linktree.Until next time, keep loving y'all.
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Here we are in our third installment of our queer focused episodes fro Pride month! How has your queerness evolved since you first recognized that you were queer? What have you been resisting around the evolution of your queerness? What have you been growing in curiosity around?
We explore these different aspects in ourselves and our individual journeys, as well as talk about the Gay New Year (aka Pride month) and how you can utilize it to provide some reflection time for your own experience and set up a trajectory for this upcoming year.
AND, as E offered mid-episode, your ticket to the 21 Day Challenge all about the question of "Will Polyamory Actually Work For Me?" can be found here! It's completely free and is running from June 4th until the 26th. Sign up at any time and you still get all the recordings from amazing poly experts and professionals delivered straight to your inbox!Send us a text
Sending you so much love!
Love our show? Please rate and review! And share it with as many friends as you think would benefit!You can follow us on TikTok, IG or Twitter (@queer_and_poly).
Need guidance? Come to our monthly Q&A calls.
Want to work with us? Sign up for a Discovery Session!
Find out more on our Linktree.Until next time, keep loving y'all.
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We are continuing on with our celebration of Pride Month with this week's episode all on queer joy!
What has queer joy looked and felt like for us over our own evolution? What are the simple moments of queer joy? The larger ones? What makes these moments so impactful and necessary?
Queer joy can carry different meanings for each individual, but the common thread we hear is just that little spark you feel that brings something unique to your queer experience. We would love to hear what some moments of queer joy for you have been!
AND, as E offered mid-episode, your ticket to the 21 Day Challenge all about the question of "Will Polyamory Actually Work For Me?" can be found here! It's completely free and is running from June 4th until the 26th. Sign up at any time and you still get all the recordings from amazing poly experts and professionals delivered straight to your inbox!Send us a text
Sending you so much love!
Love our show? Please rate and review! And share it with as many friends as you think would benefit!You can follow us on TikTok, IG or Twitter (@queer_and_poly).
Need guidance? Come to our monthly Q&A calls.
Want to work with us? Sign up for a Discovery Session!
Find out more on our Linktree.Until next time, keep loving y'all.
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Ooooh happy PRIDE month y'all! For the month of June, we are going to be focusing on topics solely connected to being queer and celebrating those who are members of the alphabet mafia!
This first episode of our Pride Month series is all about how our relational patterns often block us from our fullest queer expressions. We dive into the patterns that we both experience in this realm, and E has some breakthroughs of clarity for herself!
Come and learn with us about the challenges we have faced, what has helped us to move through them (which includes having this podcast), and get curious around how this all plays out for you!
AND, as E offered mid-episode, your ticket to the 21 Day Challenge all about the question of "Will Polyamory Actually Work For Me?" can be found here! It's completely free and is running from June 4th until the 26th. Sign up at any time and you still get all the recordings from amazing poly experts and professionals delivered straight to your inbox!Send us a text
Sending you so much love!
Love our show? Please rate and review! And share it with as many friends as you think would benefit!You can follow us on TikTok, IG or Twitter (@queer_and_poly).
Need guidance? Come to our monthly Q&A calls.
Want to work with us? Sign up for a Discovery Session!
Find out more on our Linktree.Until next time, keep loving y'all.
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Unmet expectations in relationships are some of the biggest causes of upset.
We have said that as part of a number of episodes, but in this week's episode, we are diving right into the heart of it. This is something we see in our work with clients ALL the time - getting lost in the expectations (whether made known or not), rather than being with the reality of the situation.
And it is so often that resistance to being with the reality of a situation, person, relationship, experience, etc. that we create even more suffering for ourselves and our loved ones.
So, how does this show up in queer and poly dynamics? Well, a lot of different ways and we go over some of the common ones that we see play out, as well as those that we have experienced ourselves. And don't worry, we don't leave you hanging without any actions you can take around this for yourself and your relationships!
What have been some challenging expectations that you have had to release or address when they are not lining up with the reality of your relationships?Send us a text
Sending you so much love!
Love our show? Please rate and review! And share it with as many friends as you think would benefit!You can follow us on TikTok, IG or Twitter (@queer_and_poly).
Need guidance? Come to our monthly Q&A calls.
Want to work with us? Sign up for a Discovery Session!
Find out more on our Linktree.Until next time, keep loving y'all.
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We have LOTS of lessons from therapy, both individual and couples therapy, but in this first round, we go over one of the lessons that clicked for E in a much more embodied way last year.
So often we see with clients, and also know from personal experience, that we try with all our might to not impact our partners. We think about all the ways that we can avoid bringing up a tough topic or just "deal" with it when there is something that is bothering us in a relationship out of fear of upsetting the other person.
In this episode, we talk about what this lesson has meant for us personally, and how we have seen it playing out with clients, as well as giving you practical points to consider and reflect on to better understand how this is playing out in your relationships!Send us a text
Sending you so much love!
Love our show? Please rate and review! And share it with as many friends as you think would benefit!You can follow us on TikTok, IG or Twitter (@queer_and_poly).
Need guidance? Come to our monthly Q&A calls.
Want to work with us? Sign up for a Discovery Session!
Find out more on our Linktree.Until next time, keep loving y'all.
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Got a case of "comparisonitis"? Have no fear, the queer and poly coaches are here!
But, seriously, let's talk about comparison in your poly relationships. We dive into what we have seen as common pitfalls in this area from working with our clients, as well as questions to ask yourself to help determined what insecurities may be most common in these types of experiences for you.
What are some actions to take to help yourself? What conversations need to be had? What conversations don't need to be had? All this and plenty more in this episode on a very natural human phenomena in any style of relating.
P.S. You still have today (May 15th, 2024) to score on our birthday discount! All you need to do is use the code BIRTHDAY35 at purchase for either the Love Deeper Online Course or Love Deeper e-Workbook. To learn more and to register for the program, click here. To snag your workbook, click here!Send us a text
Sending you so much love!
Love our show? Please rate and review! And share it with as many friends as you think would benefit!You can follow us on TikTok, IG or Twitter (@queer_and_poly).
Need guidance? Come to our monthly Q&A calls.
Want to work with us? Sign up for a Discovery Session!
Find out more on our Linktree.Until next time, keep loving y'all.
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Okay, so this is not going to be a step-by-step process on how to find partners...but, we will go over what actually works in connecting with people that are actually aligned for you and what you want! This is based on what we have experienced personally in the poly dating space, as well as what we have seen with the clients we coach.
On this episode, we dive into the pitfalls and limiting beliefs that we see come up when people ask, "but, WHERE do I actually find polyamorous people to date??". We scope out a bit more broadly to navigate answering this question, but then hone right back into the important pieces that will actually help you create the dating experience you truly want.
P.S. You still have until May 15th to score on our birthday discount! All you need to do is use the code BIRTHDAY35 at purchase for either the Love Deeper Online Course or Love Deeper e-Workbook. To learn more and to register for the program, click here. To snag your workbook, click here!Send us a text
Sending you so much love!
Love our show? Please rate and review! And share it with as many friends as you think would benefit!You can follow us on TikTok, IG or Twitter (@queer_and_poly).
Need guidance? Come to our monthly Q&A calls.
Want to work with us? Sign up for a Discovery Session!
Find out more on our Linktree.Until next time, keep loving y'all.
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Happy birthday to us and the Queer & Poly Podcast! It's been a wild ride of a year where we have learned a lot about ourselves and relationships, so we wanted to share some of our insights with you all.
Whether it is a lesson from our relationship with ourselves, partners, friends, family, or even emotions, we have some takeaways from this past year that you can hopefully relate with, as fellow, complex human beings.
We would love to hear what you learn from this episode for yourself, as well as what insights you have gained for yourself around relationships.
AND, as Li shared in the episode, we have a birthday sale happening on the Love Deeper online program, as well as the Love Deeper e-workbook. This sale is going until May 8th and all you need to do is use the code BIRTHDAY35 at purchase. To learn more and to register for the program, click here. To snag your workbook, click here!Send us a text
Sending you so much love!
Love our show? Please rate and review! And share it with as many friends as you think would benefit!You can follow us on TikTok, IG or Twitter (@queer_and_poly).
Need guidance? Come to our monthly Q&A calls.
Want to work with us? Sign up for a Discovery Session!
Find out more on our Linktree.Until next time, keep loving y'all.
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You know it's a good one when there is a "should" in the title. In this episode, we take some inspiration from a question that came up from a client and explore the pros and cons of there being a definitive definition of polyamory.
There are rants, lots of poly terms, and a trip to IKEA made to guide us along this conversation.
What are your thoughts on the question that we pose in this episode?Send us a text
Sending you so much love!
Love our show? Please rate and review! And share it with as many friends as you think would benefit!You can follow us on TikTok, IG or Twitter (@queer_and_poly).
Need guidance? Come to our monthly Q&A calls.
Want to work with us? Sign up for a Discovery Session!
Find out more on our Linktree.Until next time, keep loving y'all.
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Building from last week, here comes part 2! As you can tell, we could talk for hours on green flags and some of the components to look for in a compatible partner.
We explore a little more on NRE, compatibility, the balance of structure and flow in a dynamic, and also have a little treat for you at the end!
If you are looking for an extra resource around dating in polyamory and wondering what in the world to ask questions around, look no further than the FREE PDF on that very topic that E created for you all! It's extensive, it's juicy, and again, it's free. Click here to get the PDF delivered with love to your email inbox.Send us a text
Sending you so much love!
Love our show? Please rate and review! And share it with as many friends as you think would benefit!You can follow us on TikTok, IG or Twitter (@queer_and_poly).
Need guidance? Come to our monthly Q&A calls.
Want to work with us? Sign up for a Discovery Session!
Find out more on our Linktree.Until next time, keep loving y'all.
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