Episodi
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Karalee Katsambanis is an accomplished Australian TV commentator, author, journalist, columnist and media trainer. She has worked across Australiaâs mainstream TV, radio, newspapers, magazines and online for the past 25 years.
She is a mother of 3 children and stepmother of 2 young adults.
Her book âStep Parenting with Purpose â everything you wanted to know but were too afraid to askâ provides invaluable insights and advice to those beginning or already on their stepparenting journey.
Quotes:
"There's a right way to behave, and a wrong way to behave."
"You can only control what you say and do."
3 Top Tips for Stepfamilies:
1) Your ex is YOUR ex, not your child's ex.
2) Stepparenting is NOT a competition.
3) You cannot change what you don't acknowledge.
Consider how powerful this is for a stepparent to hear from a bioparent: "I know what you've always done your best."
"You should be able to ask for help without being judged."
"It's important to have similar rules for step and biological kids and also to honor the opinion of the bio parents."
"We should all be on the same side: the side of the kids."
Links:
Personal Website: https://www.karaleekatsambanis.com/
Book: https://www.karaleekatsambanis.com/book
Book (Amazon): https://www.amazon.com/Step-Parenting-Purpose-Everything-wanted-ebook/dp/B085LMWB44/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=stepparenting+with+purpose+katsambanis&qid=1652201521&sr=8-1
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/karaleekatsambanis/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/karalee.katsambanis
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/karalee-katsambanis-a4b50717/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/KaraleeKat
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Karen McMahon is a Certified Relationship and Divorce Coach and Founder of Journey Beyond Divorce. Karen leads a team of divorce coaches in supporting men and women around the world to become calm, clear and confident as they navigate divorce. Karen began divorce coaching in 2010 after recognizing that the pain of her divorce led her on a transformational journey into an incredible new life. During her three and a half year tumultuous divorce, Karen had a laser focus on healing and refining herself, she found her true voice, learned to set suitable boundaries, and surrendered what she could not control. As a result, her life began to improve exponentially.
Karen has since spent the last decade helping thousands of men and women navigate the emotional and practical difficulties of relationships, breakups and divorce. Karen is the host of the acclaimed Journey Beyond Divorce Podcast, co-author of âStepping out of Chaos: Turning Pain to Possibilityâ and co-creator of JBDâs exclusive 12 Step Divorce Recovery Program. Her other accomplishments include work as a NYS Lobbyist, Health Advocate, Community Organizer, and Chairperson of a NYS non-profit organization, Director of Sales and Marketing, and successful small business owner.
Quotes:
"Nobody shows up as their prettiest self during a divorce."
"Most of us have not been taught how to handle conflict."
"Once you see a flaw, all you look for is more flaws. And in divorce, we've seen flaws."
"We often listen to hear where we disagree."
"As parents, it's often hard for us to transition with our kids as they grow up."
"Every upset is a setup."
"Four things influence how we respond to external data: 1) assumptions; 2) interpreting; 3) limiting beliefs; 4) inner critic."
"Replace judgment with curiosity."
Resources:
Adversaries into Allies by Bob Burg: https://www.amazon.com/Adversaries-into-Allies-Ultimate-Influence/dp/1591848164
Journey Beyond Divorce support website: https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/
Journey Beyond Divorce Podcast: https://journeybeyonddivorce.libsyn.com/
FREE Rapid Relief Call: https://www.jbddivorcesupport.com/rapid-relief-call
FB Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/JourneyBeyondDivorce
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/journey_beyond_divorce/
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Episodi mancanti?
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Our guest today is the amazing Gayla Grace, of Family Life Blended!
Gayla Grace serves on staff with FamilyLife BlendedÂź as a writer and a speaker and desires to equip blended families for life together. She is the author of Stepparenting with Grace: A Devotional for Blended Families and co-author of Quiet Moments for the Stepmom Soul. She has a masterâs degree in Psychology and Counseling and is a mom to three and stepmom to two adult children. She and her husband Randy have been married 26 years and are recent empty nesters residing in Conway, AR.
Quotes:
"Don't quit--it's normal to go through a wilderness."
"In a remarriage, the non-bio parent comes in as a friend and should focus on building a relationship with the kids...Let them know 'I care about you.'"
"Watch the cues from the kids and try to match that."
"One obstacle is the ambiguity of the stepparent role, and that role will change over time."
"Don't wear your feelings on your shoulder."
"Hold onto the small victories and encouraging moments as a stepparent."
"We don't realize the impact we're having on our stepkids' lives until they're old enough to realize it as well."
"If someone has been a lousy spouse, we assume they're also a lousy parent, but that's not necessarily the case. We have to change our mindset about that person."
"Make sure you are nurturing your marriage."
Links:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/GaylaGrace.author
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gaylagrace/
Websites: http://www.stepparentingwithgrace.com/
https://www.familylife.com/familylifeblended/blended-families/
https://www.familylife.com/podcast/familylife-blended-podcast/
Gayla's Books: https://www.amazon.com/Gayla-Grace/e/B00J9P237A%3Fref=dbs_a_mng_rwt_scns_share
Email: [email protected]
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This week's guests are the amazing Heather Hetchler and Ed Vargo!
Heather Hetchler is an writer, speaker and certified life coach for stepfamilies since 2009. She is monthly contributor to StepMom Magazine and a co-author of Quiet Moments for the Stepmom Soul. Her upcoming book Stepmothering: A Cautionary Tale releases 2023. She is also a money mentor with enlightenHer where she helps women develop a healthy money mindset. She began partnering with enlightenHer in 2017 where she presented on Second Saturdays helping women navigating divorce. Given Heatherâs focus is caring for a womanâs emotional well-being, adding the financial piece helps her guide women, including stepmoms, to navigate their money relationship which often grows more complex with stepfamily dynamics.
Heather earned a BA in Communications from Miami University and a Masters in Applied Communication and Methodology from Cleveland State University and has 22 years of experience in family communications. You may know her from the work she continues to do at Learning2Step and Sisterhood of Stepmoms. She has a passion for educating, encouraging, and empowering women. She resides in Cleveland with her husband, rescue dog and the last of their six children who will launch 2022!
Ed Vargo, CFPÂź, CLUÂź, ChFCÂź, AIFÂź, CDFAÂź, founder of Burning River Advisory Group and enlightenHer, grew up in inner-city Cleveland. During the Vietnam War, Edâs father served as a sergeant military policeman in South Korea where he met and married Edâs mother. Once back in the States, Edâs mother faced the challenges of a being a first-generation immigrant who couldnât read or write English or drive a car.
This instilled in Ed a deeply personal commitment to womenâs empowerment and is the powerful undercurrent running through Burning River and enlightenHer. Providing customized financial solutions with a compassionate and caring hand, he is committed to helping women achieve financial independence.
Ed is a frequent guest speaker at companies, organizations, and conferences, as well as a regular contributor to various media outlets including the Associated Press, Money, CNBC, and Forbes. Ed and his firm, Burning River Advisory Group, have been awarded the Womenâs Choice Award for Financial Advisors/Firms every year since its inauguration. They are honored in being recognized as one of the first 100 companies in the country to receive this prestigious award.
Quotes:
"Every stepfamily comes from a place of pain for someone."
"Financial infidelity is lying to your spouse or partner about money, or hiding money decisions or habits, and it leads to a severe breach of trust."
"Financial infidelity tends to start small and build over time."
"People aren't very good at talking about money. This topic should be an open book based on shared goals and values."
"To get on the same page about money, the first step is to agree on 'guiding principles.'"
"Sometimes you have to be the one who makes amends, and you encourage communication through compassion."
"With money, start with values and what is important to you. Begin with a united front, and all money issues are easier."
Emails:
Links
enlightenher.com/freshstart
www.enlightenHer.com
Facebook: @enlightenHer
on Instagram: @YourMoneyMentors
www.Learning2Step.com
Instagram: @Learning2step Support
www.TheStepmomBlueprint.com
www.SisterhoodofStepmoms.com
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Today's guest is the excellent and energetic Joslynn Flowers, better known as the host of 'The Daily Stepmom'!
Joslynn is a mom of four, (three being her stepchildren) and a certified stepmom coach! Manager turned stay-at-home mom once Covid hit. In her time as a stepmom she has experienced the many struggles that come along with being a stepmom and the blending of a family. Feeling overwhelmed, misunderstood, and lonely in her role she began seeking a way to turn her stepmom experience from negative to a positive co-parenting experience, which hasnât been easy! Dealing with many high conflict situations and multiple custody battles, ending with a CWS situation granting her husband full physical and legal custody, that almost broke her - to finally finding her place in her role as full time stepmom. She has even created a healthy working co-parent friendship with her stepchildren's mom. Joslynn loves to help other stepmoms do the same while creating healthy boundaries. Joslynn created and hosts a chart topping podcast called 'The Daily Stepmom Podcast.' There she talks about not just surviving but thriving in your role as a stepmom! Joslynn has been a featured speaker for The Stepmom Summit, The Ultimate Step Family Summit. She was named one of the Top 10 Podcasts in 2022 by SHE Magazine. She has been interviewed by Raise Parenting Magazine. She has also created a mini work book and an affirmation journal for stepmoms.
She loves to connect with others via her Instagram account so find her at Dailystepmom.
Quotes:
"It's important to acknowledge our feelings and not feel bad about them...but also don't stay there."
"Having different expectations can cause small issues to become larger issues. The key is to be able to have conversations about difficult topics."
"Always show respect, especially to my kids' mom, both her role and as their mother...This is not always done in co-parenting situations, and it leads to problems."
"You can't pour from an empty cup--time for self-care and reflection is critical for families."
"Your feelings are valid, but it's not OK to take out your frustrations on the people around you."
"One important thing for stepmothers to do is to find a community!"
Links
https://linktr.ee/Thedailystepmom
https://www.instagram.com/dailystepmom/
www.thedailystepmom.com
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Today's guests are the amazing Ana and John David Mann, co-authors of the best-selling book 'The Go-Giver Marriage,' and two of the most fun guests we've had on the show!
John David Mann is coauthor of more than thirty books, including four New York Times bestsellers and five national bestsellers, including âThe Go-Giverâ (coauthored with Bob Burg), which has sold over 1 million copies and won the 2017 Living Now Book Awards Evergreen Medal for its âcontributions to positive global change.â He is married to Ana Gabriel Mann and considers himself the luckiest mann in the world.
Ana Gabriel Mann, MA, holds a Masterâs degree in clinical psychology and dance-movement therapy from Antioch New England, where she specialized in working with adults and family therapy. In addition to her work in family therapy and 5 Secrets marriage coaching, she has been clinical director for a program for people with Alzheimerâs disease, co-founded New Englandâs first college of Chinese medicine, and worked as a corporate consultant, speaker, trainer, and coach.
John and Ana have been dreaming about writing âThe Go-Giver Marriageâ together for nearly two decades. The book was released in March 2022. Full disclosure: I read this book before our interview and LOVED it!! I had previously read 'The Go-Giver,' (co-authored with Bob Burg) the book that kicked off the series and also loved it. This book was even better!
Quotes:
"No one escapes their childhood without emotional wounds."
"Never bad-mouth the other parent in front of the kids, ever, ever, ever."
"The most important thing you can do for your kids is to give them an example of a happy life."
"The very things you needed as a child are the same things you need as an adult."
"This is giving without the expectation of return."
"'Allow' is a lot like grace. It is letting the other person be who they are. But this does not mean to enable or give up boundaries."
"The opposite of appreciation is criticism."
"If kids get everything they need when they're young, they become remarkable adults!"
Links:
www.gogivermarriage.com
John
www.johndavidmann.com
instagram.com/johndavidmann
facebook.com/johndavidmann
twitter.com/johndavidmann
linkedin.com/in/johndavidmann
Ana
www.gogivermarriage.com
instagram.com/anagabrielmann
facebook.com/anagabrielmann
twitter.com/anagabrielmann1
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Today's guest is the excellent Sabrina Shaheen Cronin!
Since 1993, Sabrina Shaheen Cronin has been practicing law and has been running her own full-service law firm for the better part of the last decade. A Family Law specialist, sheâs also expanded her work into the realm of family coaching, offering workshops and personal counseling to families undergoing stressful changes. In particular, her work aims to provide families navigating the waters of separation, divorce, and co-parenting with a road map that they likely would not otherwise have access to.
Sabrina is licensed to practice law in Michigan, New York & Illinois. Sabrina is a graduate of the University of Michigan and received her Law Degree and MBA at University of Detroit Mercy. Her extensive experience includes General Counsel for Professional Employer Organizations, and APA for the Oakland County Prosecutorâs office before establishing her own firm, which has organically grown into one of the top legal firms in Michigan. A true student of life, Sabrina continues to further her education, to better serve the ever-changing needs of her clients, both legally and supportively as an attorney, mentor, and coach.
Quotes:
"Your history makes up who you are today."
"Our children's years are shorter so they feel things more impactfully--we need to be mindful of that."
"It's important that all parents in a blended family are in alignment."
"Your children need to feel safe talking to you."
"Even when your children are resisting, being consistent and present are extremely important."
"Ask your kids how you can love them better."
"Don't take things personally."
Resources:
Sabrina's website: https://www.sabrinashaheen.com/
https://www.croninlawfirm.com/
Cronin Law Firm Phone: 258-258-3500
Email: [email protected]
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sabrina-shaheen-cronin-a9ab7738/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sabrinashaheencronin/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sabrinashaheencronin
The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz https://www.amazon.com/s?k=the+4+agreements+by+don+miguel+ruiz&hvadid=78065379410698&hvbmt=bb&hvdev=c&hvqmt=b&tag=mh0b-20&ref=pd_sl_73l42atewh_b
The Five Love Languages series by Gary Chapman https://www.5lovelanguages.com/store
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Today's guest is the excellent Earnest James!
Earnest James is the host of the Deal to Heal with E James Podcast. He is a man with a heart for people. As a minister, mentor, and speaker, Earnest has dedicated his life to inspiring and uplifting others. His mission is to help others heal from the wounds of their past and current situations. Earnest is an entrepreneur, business owner, an author, social media influencer, online course creator, and workshop instructor. Earnest believes âIf you must fail, fail fast and fail first. That way you can rebound and rebuild your life. Then help others do the same.â
Earnest was raised in a two parent household, but recognized the effects of fatherlessness on his extended family and friends, who were being raised by single mothers. Earnest is determined to help heal families by helping fatherless mothers and daughters heal from their father wound and mentoring dads and sons.
Earnest also is an advocate for education. After a few failures early in life, Earnest quickly rebounded to complete grammar school, finish high school in three years, and became a college graduate. Earnest has been a guest speaker on several podcasts as well as hosting his own. Earnest plans on sharing his message of hope and healing with as many people as will listen.
Quotes:
"Fatherless daughters often either don't let anyone in, or they let everyone in."
"Common issues are 1) dealing with abandonment and its struggles, and 2) issues with loyalty to people even after they have shown themselves unworthy of that loyalty."
"One of my favorite things is the relationship my daughter has with her stepmom."
"Don't be afraid of what your relationship looks like now."
"Take yourself (your emotions) out of the equation. Facts over feelings."
Resources:
Ron Deal's website: https://smartstepfamilies.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCj4CU0HH0VJbSZr0DCDM83g
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Dealtoheal
Tik Tok: https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMRV8t6kd
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/friend2fatherlessdaughters/
Tee- Shirts: https://deal-2-heal-tees.myshopify.com/
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/dealtohealpodcast
Podcast: flow.page/dealtohealwithejamespodcast
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Today's guest is the amazing Dr. Patricia Papernow!
Dr. Patricia Papernow has taught about âblended familiesâ all over the U.S. and the world, sharing best practices for meeting the often-intense challenges that stepfamilies face. Dr. Papernow has authored dozens of articles and book chapters on stepfamilies as well as two of the leading books in the field: Surviving and Thriving in Stepfamily Relationships: What Works and What Doesnât, and, with Karen Bonnell, The Stepfamily Handbook: From Dating, to Getting Serious to Forming a âBlended Family.â
Quotes:
"In a first-time family, kids enter hard-wired for affection for their parents."
"Stepparents enter as an outsider to the family."
Five Challenges for Stepfamilies
1) Stuck insider vs. Stuck outsiders (stepparents are often left out)
2) Kids feel differently about stepfamilies than they do about first families (stepfamily adjustment is harder on kids than the actual divorce)
3) Parenting and stepparenting are different (best parenting style: authoritative parenting by parents)
4) Creating a new family culture when (at least) two cultures already exist involves making something new while respecting both us and them.
5) There IS another parent, living or dead, outside the household
* The worst thing for children isn't divorce or remarriage; it's conflict.
"A lot of stepfamily life is 'learning by goofing.'"
"For kids, as the rate of change goes up, their well-being goes down."
Suggestions:
1) Spend 1:1 time with kids/stepkids (connection before correction)
2) Kids don't want a replacement (via divorce or death), so make space for the parent that is already there
Resources:
Dr. Papernow's website: https://www.stepfamilyrelationships.com/
Dr. Papernow's books (Becoming a Stepfamily, and Surviving and Thriving in Stepfamily Relationships) : https://www.stepfamilyrelationships.com/
The Stepfamily Handbook (written with Karen Bonnell): https://www.amazon.com/Stepfamily-Handbook-Getting-Serious-Forming/dp/172085520X/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=the+stepfamily+handbook&qid=1647715365&s=books&sprefix=the+stepfmaily%2Cstripbooks%2C171&sr=1-1
Stepparenting the Grieving Child by Diane Ingram Fromme https://www.amazon.com/Stepparenting-Grieving-Child-Cultivating-Connections/dp/1939919479
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Today's guest is Karen Bonnell!
From her website: Karen has over 30 years of experience working with couples and families facing transition, loss, growth and change. A graduate of the University of Michigan, she served on the faculty of University of Michigan, Eastern Michigan University & Seattle Pacific University before beginning full-time private practice in 1984. In 2021, she brought her psychiatric nursing career to a close, and now focuses strictly on coaching and mediation. She regularly writes for, speaks to and trains health care and legal professionals.
Karenâs work as a Collaborative Divorce Coach spurred her determination to write âThe Co-Parenting Handbookâ with Kristin Little, Child Specialist. Parents learn the best ways to support their children, strengthen their co-parenting, and discover the necessary tools to skillfully create a two-home family.
âThe Parenting Plan Workbookâ followed with contributor Felicia Malsby Soleil, JD. Karen and Felicia built a workbook and four-plus hours of coaching seminars (The Parenting Plan Workbook Video Series), which provide valuable access to the mechanics behind writing a strong, child-centered parenting plan.
And most recently, Karen and Patricia Papernow, PhD released the newest handbook for parents ready to date and hoping to one day successfully create stepfamily, âThe Stepfamily Handbook: From Dating, to Getting Serious, to Forming a âBlended Familyââ.
Quotes:
"Teens are looking to get rid of the parents they've got; they're not shopping for more!"
"A second-time family is a very different architecture than a first-time family."
"If we don't do this well, the people who are going to suffer are the kids."
"The truth without compassion can be abusive."
"Stepparents are additive, not substitutes."
Resources:
The Stepfamily Handbook https://www.amazon.com/Stepfamily-Handbook-Getting-Serious-Forming/dp/172085520X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1542034223&sr=8-1&keywords=the+stepfamily+handbook&dpID=41lRp0ntBjL&preST=_SY344_BO1,204,203,200_QL70_&dpSrc=srch
The Co-Parenting Handbook https://www.amazon.com/Co-Parenting-Handbook-Well-Adjusted-Resilient-Separation/dp/1632171465/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1501711469&sr=8-1&keywords=9781632171467
The Parenting Plan Workbook https://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Plan-Workbook-Comprehensive-Child-Centered/dp/1632171457/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1501713041&sr=1-1&keywords=the+parenting+plan+workbook
Karen Bonnell on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/user/karenbonnell
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Today's guest is Dr. Sonia Cann-Milland!
In her own words: "I have my own private practice that offers education and counselling to all those who are a part of a stepfamily. Before the establishment of Renewed Beliefs, I completed my Ph.D. titled; Establishing Stable Stepfamilies: The Perspectives of Recoupled Parents, Educators and Family Services Professionals.
I have three articles published in academic journals related to three different issues impacting stepfamilies. I love research and writing on this topic. More importantly I am passionate about utilizing research in a practical way. My ongoing goal is to continue counselling stepfamilies and offering education to churches, schools, and professional service providers to give them a greater insight into effectively working and supporting stepfamilies.
I have been counselling for over thirty years now and during that time realised I needed a greater understanding of the complexities of stepfamily life. Of course, my research has been of great benefit in giving me greater insight into the lives of stepfamilies. Being a mother of 28 yrs. And a stepmother of 15 years in my own stepfamily has taught me so much also. I have learnt much about myself and the complexities that come with our beautiful family. My husband and I are also, proud grandparents of two beautiful grandchildren. I do not see my stepfamily as two failed nuclear families remarrying, but simply a family formed differently to a nuclear family in which I am very proud."
Dr. Cann-Milland is based in Australia, where she lives and has her practice.
Quotes:
"Role confusion made life difficult...I was defining myself through everyone else's eyes."
"Treasuring your couple relationship is important--remember that your couple relationship is younger than your parenting relationship, and so it needs to be nurtured purposefully and regularly."
LOVE (acronym for better understanding):
Listen to learn-What does your partner want you to understand?
Oneness-Focus on the shared value that is under threat
Validate-Let your partner know that you've heard them
Embrace-acknowledge where your partner is currently
Resources:
Books by Ron Deal https://www.amazon.com/stores/Ron-L.-Deal/author/B001IR1MA6?ref=ap_rdr&store_ref=ap_rdr
Surviving and Thriving in Stepfamilies by Patricia Papernow https://www.amazon.com/Surviving-Thriving-Stepfamily-Relationships-Doesnt-ebook/dp/B00G6MQLXQ
https://www.renewedbeliefs.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sonia.cannmilland
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Today's guest is Mark Reel, Jr.!
Mark Reel Jr. is an entrepreneur, lawyer, and media personality.
He is Founder of Reel Fathers Rights PLC, a Southern California Family Law Firm dedicated to representing fathers throughout California. He is licensed to practice law in the state of California. His practice focuses on representing fathers in Child Custody, Divorce, Domestic Violence & other family court matters.
On top of his legal practice, Mark also runs a strategic consulting company named Law Firm Launch, focused on developing & optimizing sales processes both in & out of the legal industry.
Mark is very active in advocating in the Equal & Shared Parenting space, including hosting his own weekly show âState of the Family Courtsâ, which is presented by The Fathers Rights Movement & broadcast to their 1.2 million social media followers each week and is available on all podcasting platforms.
He also regularly appears on industry shows including Divorce Matters Podcast, The Show Up Dad Podcast & has contributed to TFRMâs show âLive with Rosaâ.
Prior to practicing law, Mark spent a decade as a sports & fitness industry executive, working for Major & Minor League baseball franchises, as a player agent/advisor & in sales & operations in the fitness industry.
Co-Author of the soon-to-be-released book, The War on Dad, set to be released May 1st 2022. The book discusses the plight of the American father & the broken family court system.
Listeners can get on the pre-order list at www.WarOnDad.com
Websites/Links/Recommendations
www.ReelFathersRights.com
www.STATEoftheFAMILYCOURTS.com
You can find Mark on Facebook, YouTube, Tik Tok & Instagram at âThe Fathers Rights Attorneyâ
www.sharedparenting.org
Can't Hurt Me by David Goggins https://www.amazon.com/Cant-Hurt-Me-Master-Your/dp/1544512287
Daring Greatly, Rising Strong, Braving the Wilderness, Dare to Lead by Brune Brown https://brenebrown.com/books-audio
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Our guest today is Meg Burton Tudman!
Meg Burton Tudman is on a mission to support stepmoms in honoring their highest selves through coaching, writing and speaking. Her specialty is holistic coaching for superwomen empowering them to align their mind, body and soul, so they can live a life they love. Meg weaves mindset, meditation, yoga, and Reiki into her online coaching programs, wellness articles, workshops, and corporate events. She has been featured by StepMom Magazine, Xerox Womenâs Alliance, Finger Lakes Yogascapes, and Go Love Yourself.
Quotes:
"Stepfamilies are complex and need support."
"Mindset is at the root of my practice...to help women identify their beliefs and thoughts that are causing you to feel stuck."
"How do I want to respond, and how do I want to frame this?"
"Self-care is a series of choices."
"Let your partner know what you need."
"Take care of yourself first--you can't care for anyone else if you aren't well cared for."
Links:
Website: https://www.megburtontudman.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mindsetmasterywithmeg/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MindsetMasteryWithMeg/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/megburtontudman
Insight Timer: https://insighttimer.com/megburtontudman
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0eUJrlMNXy4FQEOXkeVWUw
StepMom Magazine: https://www.stepmommag.com/
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Today's guest is Kelli Calabrese!
Kelli Calabrese has been a fitness, nutrition, wellness and lifestyle professional and entrepreneur for 35 years. She has spoken on stages internationally, has 3 best selling books and has appeared on all of the major networks.
Today, Kelli empowers women to overcome the fear, grief and rejection of divorce so they can heal, become resilient and build a fabulous bonus life.
Links:
http://www.kellicalabrese.com/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/intentionallyfabulous
https://www.intentionallyfabulous.com/now?r_done=1
Quotes:
"My lens for life is to let love win."
"The ability to get back up matters."
"Whatever is inside you comes out of you: anger or bitterness or peace, love, etc."
"Imagine the year to come as if it's already happened, and allow yourself to dream: spend five minutes each day in the mirror; have an accountability partner; involve your kids as well."
Resources:
Chasing Failure by Ryan Leak
Forgiving Forward by Bruce and Toni Hebel
Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend
Speed of Trust by Franklin Covey
The Body Keeps Score by Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk
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Today's guest is John Finch!
John Finch grew up the youngest of 3 boys in a suburb of Dallas where he lost his father to suicide at age 11. As a young man, John did anything he could to avoid confronting the wounds he suffered as a result of being fatherless. His craving for affirmation from a father who was not there to provide it, led him to seek that affirmation from the world in many unhealthy ways. In an attempt to find value as a man, he created a false persona that left him completely unfulfilled. His life was based on the pursuit of money in order to prove his success and he became a social alcoholic as he strived to be the life of every party and gain the attention of those around him. It was only when John realized and dealt with the unresolved issues of his father wound that he was able to become truly fulfilled. On April 20th, 2009, he finally came face to face with the issues that drove him to seek approval from a father who was not there to give it to him. By forgiving his father and recognizing what it truly means to be a man by Godâs standard, he became a new man, husband and father.
John seeks to break down the barriers that prevent men and women from addressing deep rooted anger and hurt from the wounds they have suffered in this life by candidly and openly sharing his story, his failings, and his path to a new way of life. Johnâs mission is to educate, encourage and equip men to become the fathers they were created to be, and to help men walk in daily awareness of their significant and lifelong influence as fathers. Through The Father Effect Movie, John shares stories and messages that will move viewers to a new awareness about the everlasting impact of fathers and the importance of forgiveness and openness in the relationships of this world. John has been married for 23 years. has three daughters and lives in Denton, Texas. He is the founder of The Perfect Father Ministries Inc, a 501(c) non-profit and EncouragingDads.com, a community of people from all of the world who share short stories to encourage dads.
Quotes:
"The way I love my wife is the way my daughters are going to expect to be loved."
"We're all jacked up, flawed, imperfect individuals..."
Resources:
www.thefathereffect.com
The Father Effect YouTube Channel - https://www.youtube.com/channel/ UCYOtmtf0kO9e9FntnZ9ow6Q
The Father Effect GodTube Channel -http://www.godtube.com/thefathereffect/
Twitter - @thefathereffect, @johnpfinch, @encouragingdads, & @_newlegacymedia
Facebook - The Father Effect Movie
Encouraging Dads Project website (encouragingdads.com)
Book Landing Page https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/john-finch/the-father-effect/ 9781478976868/
All Pro Dad - https://www.allprodad.com/
Dr. Meg Meeker - https://www.meekerparenting.com/
Raising A Modern-Day Knight by Robert Lewis - https://www.amazon.com/Raising-Modern-Day-Knight-Fathers-Authentic/dp/1589973097
Fathered By God by John Eldridge - https://www.amazon.com/Fathered-God-Learning-Could-Never/dp/1400280273
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Franco is an actor, host of The Professional Stepdad podcast, 60-second storyteller, and stepfather of five, who loves sharing wisdom, insight, and anecdotes about fatherhood. Driven by his passion to affect real change, Franco is on a mission to challenge the current narrative around the meaning and purpose of being a Step-Dad in todayâs world.
Franco and I had a thoroughly entertaining and enjoyable conversation, and I hope you learn from it and have as much fun as we did! Below are some of the key quotes and highlights from the episode. Also, be sure to check out all of the resources that Franco offers as well as others that we mentioned during our interview.
"My job for the first few years is to get to know the kids."
"The biggest challenge is always 'the others' in a blended family that think they know better."
"We have to block out the negative noise; the only thing we can control is what happens within the four walls of our home."
Importance of consistent base hits vs. trying for homeruns in every at-bat.
"If you're patient, it'll pay off."
Discipline is the Achilles heel of every blended family situation.
"When we speak badly about the others, we poison the well, and no one wins."
"Me, then us, then them." I need to improve myself, then work on us (the married couple) as a team, and then get to know them (the kids).
"Stepparents: we step up, we step forward, and we step through."
It is important to set goals for our family.
Contact, Franco's Resources:
http://www.theprofessionalstepdad.com/
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfbbKa_DqXKi3ITQqBNmg7Q?view_as=subscriber
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-professional-step-dad-podcast/id1504288883
https://www.instagram.com/theprofessionalstepdad/
https://www.tiktok.com/@theprofessionsalstepdad?
Recommendations, etc:
https://www.5lovelanguages.com/5-love-languages/
https://www.5lovelanguages.com/book/the-5-love-languages-of-children/
https://www.christianbook.com/love-respect-most-desires-desperately-needs/emerson-eggerichs/9781591451877/pd/451876?kw=love%20and%20respect&mt=e&dv=c&event=PPCSRC&p=1020037&msclkid=b2f7a7e8831d1936141ac75d15f781d1&utm_source=bing&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Authors&utm_term=love%20and%20respect&utm_content=emerson%20eggerichs
https://www.amazon.com/Secret-Bob-Proctor/dp/B00A2XQTDM
https://www.amazon.com/Alchemist-Paulo-Coelho/dp/0061122416
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Laura Petherbridge serves couples and single adults with topics on womenâs issues, relationships, stepfamilies, co-parenting, single parenting, divorce prevention, and divorce recovery. She is an international speaker and author of, When âI Doâ Becomes âI DonâtââPractical Steps for Healing During Separation and Divorce, The Smart Stepmom, co-authored with stepfamily expert Ron Deal, 101 Tips for The Smart Stepmom , Quiet Moments for the Stepmom Soul, a devotional and Seeking a Silent Night: Unwrapping a Stepfamily Christmas. Her most recent project is Stepfamilies of the Bible: Timeless Teachings for Todayâs Family. Laura has spoken at numerous events including: The Billy Graham Training Center, Lifeway, MomLife Today, Hearts at Home, FamilyLife Blended, MOPS, and Iron Sharpens Iron conferences. Laura is a featured expert on the DivorceCare DVD series, which has equipped more than 16,000 churches worldwide. She and her husband of 35 years, Steve, reside in Atlanta. She has 2 married stepsons, and 2 grandchildren.
Laura and I had an excellent and enjoyable conversation all about the complexities of blended families and how support systems and grace are needed in order to make them work. Below are some of the highlights of what she shared during our interview.
After growing up in a blended family and being part of a blended family as an adult, "God just told me to teach others what I had learned and to try to encourage them."
Her #1 plea to the church is to understand that the materials for a first-time marriage will NOT work for someone going into a remarriage. (She makes a wonderful analogy about this; listen for it!)
Stepmoms NEED a strong and consistent support system.
The #1 complaint she hears in blended families: "My spouse won't discipline their kids."
People are often shocked at how complicated blended family life is.
Parents often parent out of guilt, grief, etc., especially after a divorce.
"You cannot parent more than the parent, and you should not try to."
There are perks to blended family life; just keep your eyes open for them.
A question she often asks future stepmothers is, "Are you sure this is the life you want?"
"Being a stepmom taught me more about how to love like Jesus--sacrificially--than any other experience in my life."
"A chosen love is harder than a natural love."
A common prayer for stepmothers is, "Lord, show me how to love unconditionally."
Resources:
Email: [email protected]
Website: https://laurapetherbridge.com/
Books, recommendations, etc:
https://www.amazon.com/Quiet-Moments-Stepmom-Soul-Encouragement/dp/1941733387
https://www.amazon.com/Single-Parent-Confident-Successful/dp/0764232843
https://www.amazon.com/Between-Two-Worlds-Children-Divorce/dp/0307237117
https://rondeal.org/channels-resources
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Bobbi Brooks Wilcox is the founder of Blended Families United, a published author, spiritual counselor, ordained minister, and a blended family coach. She assists blended family clients virtually online to improve their communication with one another, build trust, and strengthening their relationships so they can thrive and not just survive.
Bobbi's book, RECONCILED, is about her search for peace after a painful divorce where she came across a university that taught Spiritual Psychology that brought her healing, transformation, and a Spiritual Awakening. As Bobbi applied the spiritual practices, skills, and principles she'd learned at the university in her life, she began mending her broken relationships with her adult children and her was-band where they reconciled and became friends which ventured into a blended family vacation together with their two families. She wrote her book to inspire others that blended families can be united and work together.
After studying Spiritual Psychology for two years at the University of Santa Monica (USM), Bobbi started her own business teaching listening and communication skills through workshops traveling to different states. She became certified as a Christian Conflict Coach and Mediator and a certified Clinical Hypnotherapist to help deepen her work with her clients. Her passion for helping divorced parents as a DivorceCare ministry leader through her church then led her to teaching The Smart Stepfamily by Ron Deal small groups at her church. Knowing that God clearly called her to help blended family's, Bobbi started her own business, Blended Families United, where she continues to grow spiritually and expand her expertise in working with blended families.
Bobbi currently speaks on various podcasts, FaceBook groups, and on YouTube. She has had the blessed privilege to officiate one of her client's marriage with their blended family.
Bobbi also has a blended family of her own. She and her husband, Geoff, and their thirteen year old son live in Colorado Springs, Colorado. Bobbi is also the mother of two adult children from her first marriage and a grandmother to four wonderful grandchildren who all live in Las Vegas, Nevada where she visits them as often as she can.
"Communication is key--specifically, learning to listen is crucial to moving forward."
"Forgiveness and being able to talk about/with an ex from a place of love instead of a place of pain and bitterness...was an opportunity to start to heal."
"Do the inner work of dealing with pain and guilt."
"We understand the importance of getting along well, especially for our kids, even though they're grown."
"Discernment and reflection is key, so we can invite God to help us begin to heal."
Links
Websites: https://www.blendedfamiliesunited.com/ and https://bobbibrookswilcox.com/
Resources:
https://rondeal.org/
https://stepmomcoach.com/
https://nachokids.com/
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Adam Kol, known as The Couples Financial Coach, helps couples go from financial overwhelm or avoidance to clarity, teamwork, and peace of mind. He also hosts the Couples Financial Coach Podcast.
Adam is a Certified Mediator with experience as both a Tax Attorney and Financial Advisor. He received his law degree from Duke and a Master's in Tax Law from NYU.
Adam is also an experienced social justice advocate and lifelong musician - you can find his Personal Finance Parodies on YouTube, LinkedIn, Facebook, and Instagram!
In this episode, Adam tells us about how many couples make common mistakes such as trying to go straight to the numbers rather than looking at them in the context of goals.
Money is one of the leading causes of divorce, especially in blended families.
"You want to create a sense of trust and safety when talking about money."
"The number one blended family financial mistake is trying to figure out everything all at once--instead pick one topic/priority and get clarity on that first."
"When having these conversations, start with a common point of wanting what is best for the kids."
Begin a money talk by sharing your experiences with money: what did you like/dislike? habits? etc. Then get clear on your financial situation. Finally, look at your financial goals and how to prioritize them.
Links:
Website: https://ahkcoaching.com/
Free Diagnostic Quiz: https://ahkcoaching.com/quiz
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Anna Seewald, M.Ed is a Parent Educator, Keynote Speaker, Author and Host of The Authentic Parenting Podcast. With a background in psychology and education, and having worked with children for 18 years, today Anna helps conscious moms and dads to become calm and connected to themselves and their children through trauma-informed education. She believes in helping children by helping parents. She has a private practice that specializes in parent education, where she provides one-on-one parent coaching, parenting, court-ordered, and co-parenting classes. Anna shared some extremely important information from her experience of helping parents who are divorcing or are divorced, and from helping people who are going through custody battles and/or are already in blended families.
To her, the biggest challenges in blended families are communication and discipline.
"If Scott and Stephanie can learn to co-parent, then I have hope that I can help ANY parents!"
"Use your energy for healing as opposed to fighting and trying to punish each other. Shift your energy and things will shift."
Anna ends her sessions by challenging each co-parenting partner: "Can you say 5 positive things that you admire about your coparenting partners?"
"Seeing the humanness in the other person...Have compassion and understanding for the pain of the other person."
Resources and Links:
www.authenticparenting.com
https://www.instagram.com/authentic.parenting.podcast/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/annaseewald/
https://www.amazon.com/15-Keys-Effective-Communication-Relationships/dp/1700020617/ref=sxts_sxwds-bia-wc-drs1_0?cv_ct_cx=15+keys+to+effective+communication&dchild=1&keywords=15+keys+to+effective+communication&pd_rd_i=1700020617&pd_rd_r=626e4ad6-b94b-433b-8fd2-b128376652fe&pd_rd_w=ukn4m&pd_rd_wg=0AtL6&pf_rd_p=ecbfa24d-f48c-4d5c-83aa-9549f4e7c925&pf_rd_r=5GMH84GGSHA2K6S0XYQ0&psc=1&qid=1602872154&sr=1-1-f6b8d51f-2c55-4dc3-89ad-0c3639671b2d
https://www.facebook.com/parentingfromtheheart/
Melissa Brown - Blended Family Podcast: https://www.blendedfamilypodcast.com/
Dr. Elizabeth Cohen - The Divorce Doctor: https://drelizabethcohen.com/
How to Stop Yelling - https://authentic-parenting1.teachable.com/p/how-to-stop-yelling
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