Episodi
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In this inspiring episode of Be The Anchor, host Kari Lotzien speaks with Angie Caillou, founder of AVS Legal, about her journey from solopreneur to leading a team of 16. Angie shares her personal experiences in overcoming the challenges of balancing work and a busy family life, and how she leveraged business coaching and the Anchored Leadership Academy to achieve her goals.
Key Points Discussed:
Why not now: Angie shares a beautiful story about how she decided to take the plunge from being an employee to becoming an entrepreneur. She talks about the challenges she faced in the early year as her business grew and her family became even busier.Deciding to work with a business coach: Angie shares how she made the decision to work with hire a coach.The Impact of Business Coaching: Angie shares how her involvement with the Anchored Leadership Academy and coaching sessions with Kari gave her the clarity and confidence to grow her business strategically, overcoming roadblocks she faced in scaling her operations.Building a Strong Business Foundation: Angie talks about the challenges of finding time to work on her business rather than just in it, and how coaching helped her create the structure and systems needed to support long-term growth. She shared how coaching helped her to attract strong candidates to build her team in a highly specialized field.Gaining Confidence and Delegating: Through coaching, Angie learned to let go of control and trust her team, enabling her to focus on high-level leadership and continue expanding her services.The Power of Community: Angie reflects on the importance of connecting with other business owners in the Anchored Leadership Academy, describing how the support and shared experiences of the group helped her navigate difficult decisions with confidence.Balancing Work and Family: Angie discusses how coaching helped her reclaim her time, allowing her to create a better balance between her growing business and family lifeâultimately taking her first worry-free vacation since starting her company.To learn more about resources mentioned in this episode:
Resources discussed in this episode:
Anchored Leadership AcademyPrivate Business and Leadership CoachingContact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:
Website: BeTheAnchor.caFacebook: BeTheAnchorLtdInstagram: BeTheAnchor.caLinked In: Kari LotzienContact Angie Calliou | AVS Legal Services:
Website: AVS-Legal.ca -
Leadership goes far beyond managing people, having the most knowledge, or the most experience. Leadership is a completely separate skill from what most of us learn in traditional schooling. In this episode, I am delving into the key principles of leadership and the foundations of the Anchored Leadership Academy. Leadership is about fostering true collaboration and finding the best in people. It starts with the ability to self-reflect and self-regulate. This episode is a must-listen for anyone looking to enhance their leadership skills, whether in business, community, or personal life.
Key Points:
Understanding Leadership:Leadership is more than being the bossâit's about collaboration, understanding, and facilitating growth within a team.The traditional idea of leadership as merely directing others is outdated. True leadership involves optimizing the talents and strengths of members to reach a collective goal.Self-Regulation as a Leadership Skill:Effective leaders manage their own emotions and reactions, creating safe spaces for others to contribute without fear of shame or ridicule.Self-regulation includes being mindful of body language, tone, and facial expressions to ensure they align with a supportive leadership style.Listening and Observing:Great leaders are often not the loudest in the room. They excel at listening, observing, and understanding the dynamics within a team.By noticing gaps and encouraging quieter voices, leaders can create a more balanced and inclusive environment.Asking Better Questions:Effective leaders ask questions that encourage reflection and collaboration rather than simply seeking agreement.Avoiding the word "why" in questions can prevent defensiveness and instead promote a more constructive dialogue.The Role of Leadership in a Technological World:In an era of automation and AI, leadership remains a distinctly human skill that cannot be replicated by technology.Leadership is essential in maintaining human connection and fostering meaningful collaboration in both business and community settings.Are you ready to take your leadership skills to the next level? Join the Anchored Leadership Academy and embark on a transformative journey to become the leader you aspire to be. This 12-week program is designed for business owners who are eager to scale their businesses, build strong team cultures, and lead with confidence.
I have opened up a few spots for private business and leadership coaching for owners who would like a higher level of support. Private coaching clients work through strategic planning to identify needs and priorities in their business. Coaching is then customized to align with your plan and may include support for team development, operations, marketing and finances. Together, we design your business to integrate with the life you want.Resources discussed in this episode:
Anchored Leadership AcademyPrivate Business and Leadership CoachingContact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:
Website: BeTheAnchor.caFacebook: BeTheAnchorLtdInstagram: BeTheAnchor.caLinked In: Kari Lotzien -
Episodi mancanti?
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Service-based businesses trade their time for money. You might think that you canât grow your business without hiring more staff. In this episode of Be The Anchor, I am sharing some of my favorite ways to build service-based businesses without hiring more people. I guide listeners through a process you can use to assess your own small business and what trends are happening in your industry. This opens up opportunities for new ideas to consider to increase your revenue, increase the lifetime value of a client and possibly change the way you work in your small business. We talk through specific scenarios for marketing companies to mechanic shops.
Key Points:
What is happening in your market right now? Recognize how technology such as YouTube, Canva and ChatGPT are changing the landscape for many service-based businesses and how to adapt to these shifts.Gather Client Feedback: When was the last time you spoke with or surveyed your best customers to ask what you could do even better? Consider different models in your service delivery - There are 3 options for most service-based businesses and most are only utilizing one model (which happens to also have the highest cost to you). Leveraging your experience and knowledge to build profits. Consider mentoring as a way to leverage experience and knowledge, turning potential competition into clients, and creating new revenue streams.Strategic Planning for Scaling: Reflect on how to strategically plan for growth, ensuring that your scaling efforts align with long-term business goals.I have opened up a few spots for private business and leadership coaching for owners who would like a higher level of support. Private coaching clients work through strategic planning to identify needs and priorities in their business. Coaching is then customized to align with your plan and may include support for team development, operations, marketing and finances. Together, we design your business to integrate with the life you want.
The Anchored Leadership Academy, a 12-week group program designed for established businesses ready to scale, will be launching in September. For more information or to secure a spot, listeners can click the links in the show notes or reach out via email for an inquiry call. Donât miss out on the chance to take your business to the next level!
Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:
Website: BeTheAnchor.caFacebook: BeTheAnchorLtdInstagram: BeTheAnchor.caLinkedin: Be-The-Anchor-LtdKey Links from this Episode
Private Coaching with Kari Lotzien
Anchored Leadership Academy - September enrollment is open now
Book a call to discuss the best options for your situation directly.
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It can be challenging to offer raises when your business budget is tight. In this episode, I discuss practical and cost-effective ways for small business owners to show appreciation for their team members without overspending. Recognizing and valuing your employees through creative perks, flexible work arrangements, and genuine feedback can help maintain morale and motivation. Balancing financial responsibility with sincere appreciation can foster a positive work environment and contribute to long-term business success.
Key Moments:03:57 Understanding the Impact of Raises - a small raise can cost the business more than you realize.
05:06 When is the best time to give a raise? The one time you should always give a raise.
06:30 Never use a raise to try and motivate an underperforming team member.
09:00 Creative ways to manage cash flow in your business during slow seasons while still giving great perks to your team members. Time as currency.
12:35 Creative Perks and Benefits
Offering perks like contributions to post-secondary education, weekend getaways, or charity donations.Providing benefits like healthcare creates a sense of security and appreciation.Offering these perks strategically to manage costs while still showing appreciation.16:00 Specific and Genuine Feedback - always has value and costs you nothing
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Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:
Website: BeTheAnchor.caFacebook: BeTheAnchorLtdInstagram: BeTheAnchor.caLinkedin: Be-The-Anchor-LtdKey Links from this Episode:
Private Coaching with Kari LotzienAnchored Leadership Academy - September enrollment is open nowBook a call to discuss the best options for your situation directly. -
It can be tempting to offer steep discounts or to host large events to show appreciation to your customers but I think we need to be cautious. In this episode, I am discussing practical and cost-effective ways for small business owners to show appreciation for their customers in personal ways that cost very little. Personalized and genuine gestures are so valued. This is where I think small businesses have an edge over large corporations. Showing sincere appreciation while balancing financial responsibility, can help you build meaningful connections without overspending.
Key Moments:04:30 Listen to your customers to learn what matters to them. Notice small details.06:20 Implement the Platinum Rule when it comes to customer appreciation.08:45 Be creative and financially smart when planning how to demonstrate gratitude to your customers. When your journey becomes bigger than you, how many other lives will you impact and enrich?15:00 Could you build VIP access or offer package deals instead of discounts?
21:45 How can you ensure that your customer appreciation efforts are good for your customers and your business?Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:
Website: BeTheAnchor.caFacebook: BeTheAnchorLtdInstagram: BeTheAnchor.caLinkedin: Be-The-Anchor-LtdKey Links from this Episode:
Learn more about Private Coaching with KariBook a call to discuss the best options for your situation directly. -
In this episode of "Be the Anchor," host Kari Lotzien is joined by LinkedIn expert Tony K. Silver to discuss how small business owners can optimize their LinkedIn profiles and leverage the platform to generate leads, build relationships, and increase sales. Tony is a multi-award-winning LinkedIn profile expert. He shares practical tips and insights from his extensive experience since 2009, providing listeners with actionable strategies to enhance their LinkedIn presence.
Key Points in this episode:
4 Keys to Optimizing Your Profile Posting on Linked In - quality content, consistent approach and engagementUsing the platform for lead generation, relationship building and sales.Practical tips to improve your visibility through SEO and indexing__
Contact:
Tony K Silver - Website
Tony K Silver - Linked In
Kari Lotzien - Linked In
Be the Anchor: Business and Leadership Coaching
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In today's episode, I share insights from a personal and profound experienceâmy daughter's university graduationâand explore the parallels between personal milestones and professional growth in small business. In this heartfelt episode, I reflect on the life lessons observed at my daughterâs university graduation, drawing parallels to the entrepreneurial journey. We discuss how societal pressures to quickly move on to 'what's next' can diminish our ability to savour accomplishmentsâa pattern prevalent both at graduations and in the business world. I share personal anecdotes and stories from others who have made significant career pivots, emphasizing that career decisions are not permanent but chapters in a larger story. The episode champions the value of lifelong learning and curiosity as keys to personal and professional fulfillment and growth.
Key Moments:
Reflection on Graduation: I discuss the societal tendency to rush from celebrating achievements to asking "What's next?" and how this mirrors the pressure small business owners often feel.Career Permanence vs. Fluidity: Insights into the perceived permanence of career decisions, drawing on stories of significant career changes by individuals, including a woman who transitioned from law to fashion.Value of Lifelong Learning: Emphasis on staying curious and continuing to learn as a means to keep life and business fresh and engaging.Encouragement for Entrepreneurs and Mentors: Encouraging listeners to mentor others and foster an environment where decisions aren't seen as life sentences but as steps in a journey.This episode is a must-listen for small business owners and entrepreneurs interested in personal development, scaling businesses, career transitions, and the importance of celebrating milestones. Engage with stories of resilience and adaptation that resonate with anyone looking to infuse their business journey with deeper meaning and sustainability.
Links
Be the Anchor website
Kari Lotzien - Linked In
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Iâm glad youâre here for this episode today. Itâs a very important one that dives deeper into my topic from the last episode. My last episode was about not wasting a conflict or crisis and that may have been a cue from the universe that soon Iâd need my own advice because right now Iâm facing a major health scare in our family. And now that Iâm in it, in the thick of it, I have more to say on this topic. I have more to offer to help guide you through times of crisis, in dealing with the personal and the business side of things.
Letâs be honest right up front: managing our lives and running a business during a time of family or personal crisis is a lot. We are pulled in many different directions because we want to be there for our loved one and for our family but we also need to be there for our business. How do we deal with it if we canât bring in that revenue? Itâs really difficult and if, like me, you are used to being a leader and having answers, it can be really hard to realize that crisis doesnât come with a timeline. And if we donât think about how to best help ourselves we can end up sacrificing sleep and rest and movement and healthy eating and all the things we need to keep going, to keep being there for the people that need us.
So in this episode Iâm speaking from within a crisis, Iâm going through what Iâm talking about. And I want to share this perspective with you. There are different questions to ask ourselves now. What really needs our focus? What key things can I do to look after our foundation? Weâre low on time so what things can we do that really get the most return on our time? And Iâm speaking about the personal side of things and the business side. We canât do everything, so what systems can we put in place to help ourselves? Iâm sharing the insight that Iâve gained with you in this episode. The simple things you can do, both in your life and business, to help maximize the time you have and keep you healthy so you can deal with the crisis long-term. This episode is personal and important and Iâm so glad I can share the things Iâm learning with you all.
Key Moments
03:14 The pull between being there for loved ones and business
05:37 How quickly self-care can be the first necessity sacrificed
08:54 What do we prioritize in business to keep things running?
When weâre low on energy, what things can be automated and what can keep going easily?How can we delegate or automate to assist everyone affected by the crisis?Why we need to maintain containers around the vitals of life: sleep, rest, health__
Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:
Website: BeTheAnchor.caFacebook: BeTheAnchorLtdInstagram: BeTheAnchor.caLinkedin: Be-The-Anchor-Ltd__
Transcript:
Kari Lotzien: [00:00:01] I'm really excited to bring this episode to you today. I know that being a small business owner comes with wearing a lot of different hats, and one of the things that had been coming up for me over the last couple of months was clients and friends who were talking about having multiple demands on their time when a loved one was facing a health crisis, and they were really feeling like, I need to keep my business operating, and I really want to be there for my family. Now, little did I know that that episode a couple of weeks ago was going to be a snapshot and a little cue into what was coming up in my own life. Today I'm diving in. We're going one step deeper from where we were in the last episode, talking about not wasting a great crisis. Today, I want to talk about when you are in a situation and you're facing a tough time, I want to give you some resources on exactly what we can do to help navigate when we need to be there for friends or family, or maybe for yourself if you're facing a crisis in your own life that instantly takes your time and your energy and your attention. What do you do when you're trying to keep your business afloat at the same time? Welcome to the episode. Let's dive in.
Kari Lotzien: [00:01:27] Hello my friends. I'm so glad you're here. In the last episode, the topic was don't waste a great crisis, and I cannot help but think that that topic was giving me a little bit of a signal and a heads-up as to what was coming. Because here I am just a few weeks later, and when I recorded that episode, I was not in the middle of a crisis. But now, looking back, as often our hindsight is 2020, it was a signal for me because here I am now, just a couple of weeks later, and our family is experiencing a pretty major crisis where we have someone in our family who's really going through a major health scare right now, and they need us to be supportive and all-in and believe in them and have hope. And let's be honest, at the same time we are trying to manage our lives and run our businesses and be there for each other and support. And I am not going to lie to you, it's a lot. And when I looked at my episode recording for today, I thought, you know what? I have more to say about this because when I'm in it, when I talked about not wasting a great crisis, now I am in it, I have a little bit of a different perspective. I do have some different ideas, and I want to share them with you from being in it.
Kari Lotzien: [00:02:53] What I've noticed about myself in this, and I see this with a lot of my friends, I have connected in these last couple of weeks with probably five different friends who have been in situations where their very close family members have faced huge health, life and death situations in these last few weeks. And they feel this pull of I know it's important to me, I want to be there for my family, I want to be able to do it all and at the same time feeling like I can't really just pick up and leave my business because it needs to keep operating as well. Or there's future considerations that I'm going to need to be able to deal with if I don't continue to bring in that revenue, and it can just feel like such a hard pull on both sides of us. And I just want to first acknowledge that, that as a high performer, we're used to fixing things. We're used to solving problems and leaning in and having answers. And there is nothing more humbling than when someone that you really care about has a health crisis, and there's really not a lot you can do about it than just show up. I think what we tend to do as high performers is we jump into these types of situations and, let's be perfectly honest, a lot of our family and the people that are around us, they're used to going to us to be the leaders in those types of situations.
Kari Lotzien: [00:04:21] Because if you are a leader in business, you're generally a leader in a lot of different areas of your life. You're the one that takes on the volunteer roles. You're the one who heads committees, you're the one who organizes the family reunions and the large events. When you're leading in one place, you're usually leading in a lot of places. And when we jump into this, what can sometimes happen, crisis doesn't ever come with a timeline. It always shows up at sometimes a really difficult timing for life. And that's okay. But when we get caught off-guard like that, we tend to be more reactive. So just give yourself some grace and understand that that's just what happens. I'm not going to lie to you, I stepped on the scale this morning and in two weeks I have gained a solid 9 pounds. The reality is I started eating way more fast food. I was not moving as much because I was sitting in a hospital room and just trying to be there. We were eating on the fly, we were eating late at night, I wasn't getting good sleep and I was not moving as much. I don't think this is uncommon, but what I notice in myself, I was starting to beat myself up about it, thinking, oh my gosh, everything is just falling apart.
Kari Lotzien: [00:05:36] Well, no it isn't. But what I saw was the quickest thing to go was my own self-care. Just the basics of getting enough sleep, of moving my body, even going for a walk or doing a little bit of a stretch. I noticed that I was not eating well, and what this was doing was creating a snowball effect that when all of those basics weren't looked after, I was more tired, I was more reactive, my head wasn't clear, my brain was foggy, I couldn't make good decisions, and that negative mentality was just creeping in. And that might happen for you too, when facing these kinds of things. When we come into positions of crisis, I think the three big things that I want to talk a little bit about are knowing that you might be in this for a long time. I think we all have hope that things are going to turn around quickly, and that we're going to get back to normal. But the reality is, most of the time when there's a crisis situation, you don't know how long it's going to last. And you don't get to know what are the steps that I need to take to have this fully resolve in this certain amount of time? It induces a huge sense of uncertainty and a lack of control, and that's tough.
Kari Lotzien: [00:06:54] The second is I think we need to really ask ourselves what are the things that we need to do? What is the minimal viable thing that we need to do to minimize additional challenges? So, for example, if all of a sudden you just stop serving your clients and you stop showing up and you don't reach out to your team and you just disappear, there could be an additional consequence that you are not bringing in revenue to your business, which is keeping it sustainable. Like I said, if I'm not looking after my sleep and my health, the snowball effect of that is that I'm more reactive, that there may be additional challenges in conflict with family members or with the people who are looking after my loved ones, that I just tend to get more reactive. But do you see how then it builds a snowball effect of a negative consequence that we really don't want? So you want to kind of dial in and say, okay, what really needs my attention right now? What really needs my focus? And what are those key things that I can do to make sure that my foundation is looked after? It's coming all the way back to ourselves. And as high performers, man, we can lie to ourselves that we are good at running on no sleep, that we don't really need to have times of rest, and that we don't really need all of these other just basics, because we can perform at a pretty high level when we're running on fumes.
Kari Lotzien: [00:08:28] The other piece that I want to kind of shift to is just acknowledging that when we are in crisis, what we know is that you are low on time. That if you are trying to hold multiple roles, visiting family members or going to medical appointments yourself, so sometimes health crisis can show up in our own body and needs our attention. But it takes time. It takes our attention. This is where we really need to prioritize what do we really need to do? Where are we going to get the most return on our time, and what are we going to let go of? You may consciously decide, I'm not going to worry about my housekeeping. I am not going to worry about, you know, developing that new marketing plan for the business that we were working on last week. It's really dialing it in and saying, okay, what do I need to focus on right now that is going to give me the largest return on that time? So things like prioritizing in your business, what is going to continue the cash flow in your company while you might step away. So this is not a time where you're going to maybe try something new, or you're going to work towards a new vision because you won't have capacity to be creative. But you do want to make sure that you continue to have that revenue.
Kari Lotzien: [00:09:48] If you've got work that you've already done that hasn't been invoiced yet and you have ten minutes, that ten minutes needs to go and do those invoices, get them sent out, or send the reminders for payments that haven't been made so that you are continuing to build the cash flow in your business so that you don't create that snowball effect of now you're kind of behind the eight ball. The other thing is, when you're focusing like this, this is the time where you want to get really clear on what either time or service or product is yielding the biggest profit in your business and you're going all in on that right now. Because this is the time where you really need to be the most profitable. It's not the time to do a lot of different things or to try out new pieces. Do what you know already works, go back to the data, go back to what you know, and just rinse and repeat. If you have products or services that you've used in the past that were successful, that you can just bring them out and reintroduce them, do that. This is a time where you just really want to dial in where are you getting the most return on your investment? You are going to be lower on energy. This is not the time where you're going to have a lot of energy for new things, new products, or to be able to do a lot of stuff.
Kari Lotzien: [00:11:13] When you're low on energy this is when we really want to dial in and say, okay, what are the things that I can just set on automation? What can I just keep going? Can I set up some auto bill payments? Can I set up some meal planning? Can I do meal boxes so that that food just shows up? I don't have to think about what I'm going to have for dinner tonight, or you don't need to think about going to the grocery store and trying to organize that. It just happens. Do what feels easy. Do the things that you're already good at. Now, this might sound really strange to some, well, no, it probably doesn't sound strange to some of you because I think that we are like-minded, which is exactly why I'm doing this podcast. But when I dialed in and I went, okay, what feels easy for me when it comes to supporting this family member? Something that I am good at, I'm really good at thinking in systems. It's just how my brain operates, I think, okay, so what is the system that I can create to have the biggest return on investment so that a team knows what the goals are so that we know what we're aiming for?
Kari Lotzien: [00:12:24] And it might sound strange to do this when it comes to thinking about a family member or someone who's going through a health challenge, but you know that if you're a systems thinker and you do that naturally in your business, and you think constantly about how one thing has an effect on many other areas in your business, if that feels easy to you, and that's something that works really well for you, you can apply it in another area towards looking after a family member. So thinking about systems when it comes to health care and support, or it could be any sort of challenge or crisis that you're facing, come right back to saying, okay, do we have a system for communication? So we designed a system to say, okay, one person is dedicated to call and get an update from the medical team as to what's going on, and it's their responsibility to then share with the rest of the team. And we do that at a very specific time of day, so that we all know kind of what to expect and who's doing what. What this does, is the impact that it has is we don't have ten people calling the medical team and overwhelming them when we really want their focus to be on our loved one. But we also want to make sure that we have a way where everyone knows what's going on so that no one feels like they're left out.
Kari Lotzien: [00:13:50] So creating a system where we have a dedicated group chat, or we have a program that says, okay, here's how this is, is outlined, or here's key questions that we would really like to know, or things that we need to be asked or to find out going forward. So that system works well for everyone to communicate, even having a little notebook in the room where people can just jot down ideas, here's who was in visiting, here's what we talked about, here's what was going on. It creates the sense of community and support, which was really important for us, so that no matter who was there, we kind of knew a little bit more of the story. And it wasn't all riding on either the medical professional or our family member to just be going through kind of the same conversation over and over and over again, which, let's be honest, it can start to feel really boring and really monotonous. So this way, we were able to create a system that allowed a conversation to kind of keep flowing and not to feel so redundant. So if that is something that you do well, think about how can you create a system within that crisis situation that can really help fill some gaps. If there's roles or tasks that need to be done, can you create a system so that people know what needs to be done, where they can help, and how all of these things are communicated? These things are big and can make such a big difference, especially when a crisis is going to maybe extend for a longer period of time and you want to make sure that what you've got in place can be sustainable. We really want to avoid things like caregiver burnout, because when you're in this situation as a small business owner and you're holding multiple different roles, you also want to appreciate that other people also have lives outside of this crisis situation. And what we want to do is create long-term sustainability for support within the life that people are holding.
Kari Lotzien: [00:15:58] So we want to do this in our business. We want our businesses to be sustainable long-term. We don't want them to be overly dependent on one person or one key team member, because if something happens to that key team member, then our business is at risk. It's the exact same thing on the other side. We want to build shared responsibility. We want to have multiple different roles, and we want to have systems that communicate that to those key team members. So I think this was a way that we could really dive into some of the specifics around how we want to support during a crisis, how we can really have some grace with ourselves. So I'm going to finish with that coming all the way back to when you are wanting to be that sole, not the sole person supporting, but when you want to be your best self when it comes to your running the bit of your business with the energy that you have, with the resources that you have, with the time that you do have available, when you are looking at managing that yourself on both sides of this equation with your business and your personal life, it really comes back again to building that foundation, looking after yourself, recognizing that there is a whole team of people that can support both your business and your personal side. And letting them know through systems and through connections on where different people can hold different roles.
Kari Lotzien: [00:17:25] Coming back to your health, the basics. Are you moving your body? Whether that's going for a five minute walk or having a quick stretch, or maybe for you, it is continuing to go to the gym or do a more intense exercise to just help move that energy. Making sure that you're creating a container for sleep and rest. You cannot be available 24/7. And sometimes what happens when we go into crisis, we try to just extend. We burn the candle at both ends, and we start fitting things in to our typical rest times. And I want you to really think about one of the best investments you can make that is going to create sustainable energy for the future no matter what this looks like, is to create consistent containers for rest. Turning off your social media. Taking time to just reset. Take a break. Put your feet up. Close your eyes. Go for a walk, get outside, nap, sleep, whatever that looks like, but creating that container where you can really just let your body rejuvenate. And then making sure that we're taking time to drink water to stay hydrated. It's amazing how easy it is to get headaches and to, you know, just get dehydrated, making sure that we're looking after our food intake and just maintaining the foundation so that we can build from there.
Kari Lotzien: [00:18:55] So today I wanted to just take some more time, diving into what are some really good tools and resources that you can use as you're navigating times of challenge or crisis in your personal or in your business life that can really carry both sides. So just a review, recognizing that you're low on time. So really giving your attention to where it is absolutely needed and where you need to focus in and what needs you specifically. Focusing on what is giving you the best return on your investment. That is both what can you do in the crisis if it's on your personal side, where are you going to get the best return on your time? As well as in your business. When you're low on energy, you do what feels easy. Do the things that you're good at. This is not the time to push into doing what's hard, because it's just going to feel harder. Do what's easy, do what you're good at, and find people or systems, or delegate or automate the other things to just give you that energy back so things that they can just feel smoother. And then lastly, focus on the foundations. Coming back to what is nurturing your nervous system and your body so that you can create sustainable energy for the long term in your business and your personal life.
Kari Lotzien: [00:20:19] Thank you so much for being here. I hope this content was valuable. As always, I appreciate that I can give these little tips and resources to you completely free of charge. And for me to keep doing that, the thing that gives me the most return on investment is when you show me that this content is valuable for you by sharing on social media, or by sharing an episode with a friend. This is what builds our community and creates this long-term connection. Thanks so much for being here. We'll see you next time.
Kari Lotzien: [00:20:54] Please know that this podcast is meant for entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitution for medical or professional mental health advice. If you require support, please do reach out. Thanks so much.
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Friends, Iâm talking about two things today that are not very popular but that help us grow more than anything else we encounter. Crisis and conflict. They sound like things we want to avoid at all costs, I know, and certainly, an unexpected crisis or hard conflict is not enjoyable. But what I want to talk about is what happens after the crisis or conflict, what we learn, what it shows us, and how we grow from these situations. There is so much positive opportunity in a good, solid, conflict or crisis.
If we continually try to avoid conflict, it will return repeatedly, usually more intensely than before. So itâs a good idea to deal with it when itâs still small. Conflict carries its own lesson because itâs a clash between people or values and we need to resolve it. A crisis is an unexpected event. By its very nature, a crisis canât be planned for. We canât see a crisis coming. But when it arrives, we absolutely feel its impact and have to know how to get through it. And itâs how we deal with and get through both of these things that lets us learn so much of value.
Are you prepared for a crisis in your business? Something that potentially takes you out of action could end your business if you arenât prepared for such an event. And even if youâre not prepared, how you communicate with your stakeholders, staff, and customers matters a lot to how successfully you navigate the crisis. Iâm going to lay out examples for you and walk you through what to look for, and what to prepare. Conflict tends to make us want to put our head in the sand but a good conflict, grounded in respect, can bring to light things that arenât working that we can fix for the better. Iâll talk about what to look for in conflict and how not to react in the moment. Conflict and crisis, things we tend to avoid, can actually be a great benefit to our businesses.
Key Moments
03:08 Crisis illustrated by Steve Jobs in 2003
05:23 How improperly managed crisis erodes trust
11:26 Defining a good conflict
We can learn a lot from Tim Cookâs story at AppleStarbucks illustrates how to manage a conflict between customers and your businessWhat are the steps we can take to prepare for crisis and conflict?__
Resources discussed in this episode:
âThe Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fableâ by Patrick Lencioni__
Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:
Website: BeTheAnchor.caFacebook: BeTheAnchorLtdInstagram: BeTheAnchor.caLinkedin: Be-The-Anchor-Ltd__
Transcript:
Kari Lotzien: [00:00:02] Welcome to Be the Anchor, the podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach Kari Lotzien. When the seas of life get stormy, and they always will, it is not up to us to captain anyone else's ship or to try to calm the waters of the ocean. It's up to us to set our own destination for what we really want, and to learn how to navigate those waves of life together while finding that place of security and stability with others. I call this being an anchor. Hello my friends. I'm so glad you're here. Today I want to talk to you about two of what I believe to be the greatest teachers in life. A great crisis and a good, hard conflict. Now, those might not sound like things that you want to sign up for in terms of growth and development in your life. But what I want to make sure of is that you don't miss an opportunity to really grow and learn when those things come up in life. And every biography that I've read, every business book of someone who has gone on to achieve incredible things with their lives, in every single story and every single example, they have used both conflict and crisis to move towards growth. Every time. And I want to tell you more than ever that there's a different way to do this, that we can learn through flow and abundance and affirmations, and that it can be easy. And although I definitely think there is a time and a place where we want to introduce ease and we want to bring that in, I don't want you to miss the opportunity that can come from a good, solid conflict or crisis.
Kari Lotzien: [00:01:54] It's like when we're squeezed by stress or tension, that it expedites our ability to learn and to really create change quickly if we take the opportunity. Now, if you don't take the opportunity, I feel like these are the things that will come back to us, and we keep learning that lesson over and over again. You've heard the phrase that, you know, when life whispers to you and kind of says, hey, you know what I think something's up here, and you don't pay attention to it, the next time that lesson comes, that conflict, that crisis comes a little bit louder and really taps you on the back. And maybe the next thing it wallops you right over the head and says, okay, I'm not playing anymore, here's how you're going to learn or not. This becomes the fork in the road. I want you to listen when it's a little bit lighter and it's a little bit easier. Now, I didn't do that. There's been so many times where I had to be walloped over the head before I actually got the lesson that was built, and I don't want that for you. So today I want to talk about the two things, I want to talk about the opportunity that conflict brings and the opportunity that crisis can bring.
Kari Lotzien: [00:03:03] Now let's start with crisis. In 2003 you may be aware of the story that this is when Steve Jobs was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Now Apple was growing, it was in its prime at this time. And this crisis, which a crisis is something that you cannot predict, it all of a sudden shows up, usually at the worst time, and knocks you right off your feet. Being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer was not something that just knocked Steve Jobs off his feet. It knocked potentially Apple off of its feet. But in that process, there was some really key things that Apple did to make sure that this was not also the crisis for the business and the demise. What they did is they had set up Tim Cook to take over, and it was clearly put into place that he would start moving into more of a leadership role in establishing the company so that we were moving forward. I think this is one of the lessons that we want to learn is before. Before any crisis presents itself, do you have someone that you can tap out to? I think this is the lesson that we want to see in business. If you needed to be away for 4 to 6 weeks, or longer, how would your business operate without you? Or, at best, with you at very minimal capacity. Because the reality is, that thing that we can learn from Steve Jobs in this situation, he was not available. There was no option for him to continue to run a company the size of Apple and manage his own health. It couldn't happen at the same time. But he had someone in place that he could tap out that could take over, that was already respected, already knew what was going on. So when you look at your company, are there places where - I'm not saying that your company won't be affected at all - but if you had to step away, are there places that you could change, automate, slow down? Do you have recurring revenue or passive income in your business that could still come in if you were not actually there, physically or mentally able to do the work?
Kari Lotzien: [00:05:23] The next thing that we saw in this is in many situations when crisis comes up, especially with someone in a high leadership position or the key person who has relationships with your stakeholders or your clients, we tend to want to hide the crisis and pretend that there's nothing going on so that people don't lose trust in the company. Now, here's the lesson I want to point out: if you hide, if you try to not acknowledge what's going on and then share the plan of how you're going to approach the situation, this is when people lose trust. This is when your employees, your customers lose trust because things, they will sense that something's up. They sense that things aren't quite right. And this is when they start to feel uncertain or unsure of where things are going. That's how a lack of trust develops. The lack of trust doesn't come from that leader having to step away. And time and time again, I've seen it where we want to be able to be transparent within reason. So you're not going to necessarily dump out all of the details of what's going on with a crisis in your life, but you do want to be able to share with your stakeholders, with your team, with your customers, that you are stepping away or that key team member is stepping away. And what you're sharing is, here's the plan that we have stepping forward so that this doesn't interrupt the flow of the business, that you're still reassuring and providing that stability and security. So I think the keys are when you are facing crisis - and here's the thing you can't plan for it, you have to plan ahead of it. So ask yourself when something comes up or if something comes up, what do I have in place so that my company can keep operating? And I want you to not only just think about you as the leader if you have a leadership position in your own company, but I also want you to think about your key team members. If any one of them suddenly was ill, or had to take time away, or was not available to do the job that they're doing, what is your process in being able to step in and move forward now?
Kari Lotzien: [00:07:39] Let's just say that you didn't have a plan, that all of a sudden crisis happened. All of a sudden you had to step away from your business. You suddenly lost a key employee, and you didn't have a plan. You were completely caught on your heels and feel like you just got hit by a semi truck, and you're not sure what to do. I think this is how most of us face crisis, we don't like to think about it, nobody likes to plan for the worst case scenario so many of us don't do it. But when you're in a situation where maybe you've been hit by that semi truck of life and it's knocked you off of your feet, what can happen is we get through the crisis. So you think, oh my goodness, like my business did lose revenue or all of a sudden our customers were really disappointed and that was really, really difficult and thank goodness we're through it. We come out the other side and we start rebuilding. I don't want you to do that. I don't want you to waste the lessons in that crisis. When you come back, I want you to review backwards, and I really want you to look at what could I have done differently that would have prevented the additional, right, that snowball effect of the crisis in how it took over my business or my life, how can I prevent that from happening again? So that if something catastrophic happens again, I'm not put in the exact same position again? And I think many times I see naturally, I think we do this, that when we've overcome a challenge, our shoulders drop and we go, oh, thank goodness things are back to normal. And we miss the opportunity to create the change. The crisis can be the perfect time that identifies we've got some really big gaps in the company, or we are way too dependent on this one person. I think of this if you're a parent and I kind of giggle but when kids are little and you know mom has to go away for a little while, or, you know, if dad is the primary caregiver in being that front line, does the drop offs and the pickups and makes the lunches and makes sure that they know what shirt the kid is supposed to wear to school that day, when that person is away and someone else has to take over that role... Now, I know that most of you who hold that role, we get ahead of it and we make sure that there's a calendar that says, this is what has to happen, and we've got freezer meals, and we try to prepare ahead because we know how much pressure that holds. We know the stress that it's going to put on the system on the other side for someone else to pick that up.
Kari Lotzien: [00:10:21] You are doing a disservice when that happens. Because when that crisis hits or when you're away for an extended period of time, you want to make sure that someone else recognizes all the pieces that you're doing and holding and can take over. You never want to have so much responsibility riding on one person, because it's not good for us. In our own nervous systems, we carry too much, we feel like we're carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders. But it also prevents others, like Tim Cook in this example, from being able to step into a leadership role and showcase how he can do that really well. Don't want you to miss the opportunity. So when you look back, just think, what could I have done differently? Did this crisis identify some areas of need in the business or in my personal life, where things are just a little bit too dependent and we could diversify a little bit more so there's not this really intense responsibility on one person or one system?
Kari Lotzien: [00:11:23] Okay. The next. I want to talk about a good conflict. In one of my favorite books when it comes to leadership is Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni. I love this book and one of the five dysfunctions that he talks about that is jeopardizing for a team is when a team avoids conflict. Yes. A great team should have conflict. They should have safe conflict. And I think that when we look at conflict on a team, sometimes as a leader we can feel like the team is fighting, we're not getting along, we're having disagreements, we're not sure the direction we want to go. And in that, we might find ourselves wanting to just help everyone get along and just settle everybody down so that we're all playing nice in the sandbox again. I want you to hear this loud and clear. When we do that, when we don't invite conflict, safe conflict, respectful conflict, into our teams, into our families, into our friendships, into every area of your life, if you don't have the opportunity to introduce conflict or disagreement, you are missing opportunities. Now, sometimes conflict comes to us and we don't expect it. So it might come in a place where you've got a disgruntled team member who feels like they're being treated unfairly, who feels like they're underpaid, and now they're starting to talk to everyone else on your team, and it's spreading. And all of a sudden, you might feel that pressure that you need to solve the problem or get rid of the person who is the instigator or who is the most vocal, and remove that so you can go back to just being status quo and everybody gets along again. But here's the piece that we miss, is that when we don't invite conflict, when we don't invite disagreement, we miss opportunities. Because if everyone agrees and we all see things the exact same way, and we agree that's the way that we should be doing something, we miss the gaps.
Kari Lotzien: [00:13:32] We don't have someone saying, well, hey, wait, what about this? Could we think about it in another way? I want to give you an example of this. So when you come back, you might be aware of this, if you're a fan of Starbucks like I am, I love myself a good coffee. Now, I'm not particularly attached to Starbucks, I like a good coffee offered anywhere. It has to be good and strong, has to have a nice, you know, dark roast is my absolute favorite. Now I digress, but in 2007, Starbucks was going through a period where they had substantial growth. So the revenue was there but all of a sudden what they were seeing is their customer satisfaction numbers were dropping rapidly. We also started to see that there was more competition on the market, where small local coffee shops were opening up that also had exceptional coffee. And the whole support local and small business was being introduced into that industry, which presented a threat to Starbucks. Now when that came up and when the conflict - so customers being disappointed were coming to Starbucks - Howard Schultz could have said, nope, this is the way it is. This is what we offer and you're going to like it and if you don't like it, too bad for you. And we carry on. He could have let those complaints and the customer satisfaction take him down and think, I have a terrible business. This is not working. I am a failure. He could have blamed others and said, you know what the problem is - and I'm saying this intentionally - I just can't find good people. People just don't care about their work the same way they used to. I don't know if Starbucks is going to continue because this generation, these baristas just don't take their job seriously. He could have blamed others. He could have blamed his customers that they're just too demanding. He could have taken it all on himself and thought, no, I just can't continue on, obviously we are doing a terrible job and we are failing. But he didn't.
Kari Lotzien: [00:15:42] He didn't do any of those things. What he did was number one, didn't take it personally. He listened. And I think the first step is most people don't want to bring disagreements to you. They don't want to point out where they're feeling upset or frustrated or confused or challenged, because we're afraid that the leader will react negatively, that they'll blame us, that they'll blame themselves, or that they'll react in anger or hostility. The first thing you want to do as a leader is be able to truly listen. I think being able to truly listen is partly due to you can anchor your own nervous system. in the moment you know how to take a breath, you know how to pause your reaction, you know how to not fly off the handle and to truly invite. To stay curious, to ask more questions, to ensure you understand the problem and that you, I always say, come back to the data. Learn as much as you can so that you clearly understand the problem. And the first place that we can really do that is by anchoring our nervous system and inviting a space where people can share with us without it being personal. First step in conflict.
Kari Lotzien: [00:17:14] The next place is that they can safely share and feel that they are not at risk. Like I said, sometimes people will be the one that says, I feel like I'm underpaid, I feel like you work us too hard. I feel like this is unfair and you think that that person is the problem, and by removing that person, the problem goes away. That person may just represent the voice of the team, and you need to be able to dig past just that single person and understand clearly, is this the opinion, is this a pattern in my team? Is this a pattern with our customers that it's not just that individual that's the problem, but that individual may just be the one who had the courage to speak up and had the courage to share. In which case, we really want that person to feel valued, to feel safe in sharing with us, and to know that even when they bring up concerns, they still belong, that they are still respected, they are still a part of the team, that we're not just going to say, well, if you don't agree, then you're out. So we want to make sure that you have a safe space where people can share.
Kari Lotzien: [00:18:45] Now, I'm not saying that that means people can come in and scream and yell and share in a disrespectful way. What we want to do is create a container. So as a leader, you're giving ways where people are asked for their feedback on a regular basis. What you're doing, those surveys, or you're giving safe places where people can be asked what's working, what's not working, do you see any gaps, share an idea and then tell me. Where do you see my, where are my blind spots? What am I not seeing? Shoot holes in my problem. When you create natural conflict on your team, you will always have a more broad perspective on what your challenges truly are, and when it's through conflict and inviting that disagreement that you will be able to get out of your own way and shine lights in those blind spots that then allow you to move towards change. So you want a format to be able to share. So then the next place in that is that you want to then, once they've shared, we come back to okay so based on what I've heard in this conflict, how does this fit with the core values of my company? So last week, or in the last episode, I talked about core values not being enough. This is where I see the gap most often in business. Is we have core values, we put them on the wall, we talk about safety and transparency. We talk about the business feeling like a family.
Kari Lotzien: [00:20:43] Well, I can tell you that in a family there is conflict. There are so many times where we disagree, but we still belong. So I want to know when we take that core value and we shift it to, okay, so how does our core value demonstrate itself when we are in a situation of conflict? If you take someone off your team every time they disagree with you, or you reward every person that naturally agrees with you and you move them into a leadership or senior level position, that tells you that that concept of everyone here is treated like family doesn't land. That if your core value has to do with transparency and someone disagrees with you, but they don't feel safe that they can speak up, that's not true transparency. So I want to know. I want you to ask yourself if your business values are things like transparency, loyalty, trust, relationship, family, how are those demonstrated when you come up to conflict? Because then when you can put those things in action, when you demonstrate that, this is how you create change.
Kari Lotzien: [00:22:16] I'm going to bring it back to the Starbucks story. What happened during this time, during 2007 when all of a sudden customers were not satisfied, they were seeing a decline in revenue because there was more competition from smaller spaces, they shifted. This is when Starbucks introduced more non-coffee options, decaffeinated options, some kind of child-friendly options. All of a sudden, in this process where they started seeking feedback from the baristas, they went back. They didn't blame the baristas to say, well, it's because they don't care and they don't take their job seriously. They went back and said, okay, we need to make sure that our training programs are really solid so that we are delivering the same level of product to our customers across every location. And I think one of the things that is really unique about Starbucks is that they have consistency along with being able to customize their product. And this is such a unique combination because if you're a Starbucks barista, all of a sudden you want to know how to make that specific latte or that specific drink, but now you can adjust it for temperature and how much foam you want and what size and do you want to add a triple shot of vanilla? In all of those processes it is a consistent product along with the ability to customize. This is a really unique training challenge when you're looking at your systems and processes in onboarding new staff. So as they were developing these new products and as they were improving their onboarding and their training programs for their baristas, all of that came through conflict. All of that came by really looking at what are our customers complaining about? What are our baristas complaining about? How is this whole process working?
Kari Lotzien: [00:25:00] If Howard Schultz would have started firing baristas who were underperforming, would have taken it upon himself to say, well, this is, you know, it's because we have difficult customers. If he would have taken it on personally to say, well, it's because we don't have a great product and obviously this wasn't a good idea, the opportunity for Starbucks to be what it is today would have been lost. And I don't want that for you. So I know, I completely understand: being in conflict, it's hard on our nervous systems. It makes us feel like we are threatened. It can sometimes feel very personal. It can feel, especially if your small business is your baby, and it's the thing that you just give your heart and soul and your extra time and your weekends and your evenings to, it does feel personal. I completely get that. But I hope that today, as we've talked through this, you can really see that in every single crisis, in every single conflict, there is also opportunity to move towards change and growth like nothing else I have ever seen. So if you're going through a time right now where you're thinking, oh my goodness, I just feel like I am being drug along and things are hard and maybe you can't see your way out of it right now, just know it's part of it. It doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong. It doesn't mean that your ideas are terrible. It doesn't mean that people are terrible, that your customers are no good, or that your staff just doesn't care. There's an opportunity behind this. And even if you can't see it right now, even if today the only thing you can do is just put one foot in front of the other to get through the next thing that you need to face, please know that I understand that.
Kari Lotzien: [00:27:10] Please know that I am completely there for you. I have sat in my own business when crisis hit, in tears, trying to train a new staff member so that I could leave the business because there were certain things that only I knew how to do in there. And when that crisis hit my own business really unexpectedly, I honest to goodness, I thought it was going to be the demise of my business, I really did. I thought I had dreams that that was going to be it, that I was going to have to close shop and just walk away because I didn't have the capacity to do all of the things in my business that I was doing before. And it was number 1 in 22 years of running a business, that major crisis in my life that hit completely unexpectedly, is still the thing that I look back on and go, that was my greatest teacher. That's when I learned the most about delegation. That's when I learned the most about trust. It's when I learned the most about systems and being really consistent. And I learned how to lead with transparency without introducing or spreading fear in the business. I was able to be clear and still introduce that feeling of stability and security. I know. I've lived it. I know how it's done. Now, I gave you fancy examples from Steve Jobs and Howard Schultz in their businesses because they're so in the limelight. But I know every business owner and many, many of my clients will talk about the same sort of thing, there's an opportunity here that I don't want you to miss. So I'd love to hear your thoughts on this one. Feel free, send me an email or send me a DM on social media. I want to hear what lessons have you learned through crisis or through conflict, that maybe if you wouldn't have leaned into it, you would have missed completely and it would have changed. Because looking backwards, we have that 20/20 eyesight to be able to say, oh, I see how this all worked in sequence with each other, because when you're in it, it's just no fun. So if you're in it right now, that's all I want to say, is that one step at a time. Be really aware of how you're perceiving it. Be aware of your own thoughts. Many of them are not true. They're lying to you right now to try to protect you. But once you come through this, be sure that you look back so that you don't miss the lessons from the great crisis or the great conflict as you move to the next step and really implement that change that can give your business, your whole life even stronger and even better than it was before.
Kari Lotzien: [00:29:51] Thank you so much for being here. If you have not liked and subscribed yet, well why not? I would love for you to just click those three little buttons. It makes a difference. And this is how this podcast gets shared, this is how more people learn about what's going on. And my passion right now is I really want to provide free content for small business owners who might not have big budgets to work with a high level coach. Now, my budgets are not high level, so if you want to work with me, I'd love to dig into your business. But I want to make sure that there is still a ton of free resources out there for people like you and I, who've been in the depths of it just working through this day to day. Be sure to like and subscribe. I'd ultra appreciate if you would share it with someone who just might be going through a hard time right now and can't see the other side. Thanks so much! We'll see you next time.
Kari Lotzien: [00:30:47] Please know that this podcast is meant for entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitution for medical or professional mental health advice. If you require support, please do reach out. Thanks so much.
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Iâm glad youâre here for an episode that may be a little bit short but is full of necessity. I want to talk about core values. A lot of businesses talk about core values, small and large businesses alike. And thatâs good! Every business should have done an activity that helps define and develop its core values as a company. What Iâve been seeing lately, though, is that while itâs wonderful to hear a business declare âWe stand for loyalty, transparency, and trustâ, what happens if what occurs in levels of the business contradicts those values? Thatâs what I want to examine.
It may sound harsh, or like doom and gloom when I say that stating core values that are not followed through on in actions as a business truly can be the demise of the business. Why would I say that? Core values represent things you promise to be and do as a company. If you fail to live up to those stated values, you lose integrity. You present as out of alignment and customers lose trust in everything you say and offer. That kind of loss can be catastrophic to a business.
I want to give you examples of situations Iâve encountered with real business owners that demonstrate this. How does this contradiction show up? What does it look like when core values arenât acted on in a business? Where does it usually creep in? How can that be prevented? I want you and your business to succeed so Iâm going to address all those questions. Iâm glad youâre joining me to dig deeper into what core values mean beyond stating them as part of a business plan. Itâs so important to ask yourself how you will keep those values alive in your daily activities.
Key Moments
02:02 Why misalignment with core values can be the end of a business
03:03 Business example of core values initially in action
05:01 Follow-up example of how later actions were at odds with the stated core values
Why a noted misalignment of core values to actions mattersAsk what your businessâs core values are and whether you are demonstrating them Look into your team and ask yourself if theyâre leading or being led according to your core values__
Resources discussed in this episode:
Anchored Leadership Academy__
Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:
Website: BeTheAnchor.caFacebook: BeTheAnchorLtdInstagram: BeTheAnchor.caLinkedin: Be-The-Anchor-Ltd__
Transcript:
Kari Lotzien: [00:00:01] Welcome to Be the Anchor, the podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach Kari Lotzien. When the seas of life get stormy, and they always will, it is not up to us to captain anyone else's ship or to try to calm the waters of the ocean. It's up to us to set our own destination for what we really want, and to learn how to navigate those waves of life together while finding that place of security and stability with others. I call this being an anchor.
Kari Lotzien: [00:00:38] Hello my friends. I'm so glad you're here. Today's episode is going to be a little bit short, but I feel like it has so much necessity. So I don't think that it is uncommon right now to hear businesses talk about their core values. And I think that a lot of small businesses, a lot of large businesses, can say here's what we stand for: we believe in trust, we believe in transparency, we believe in loyalty, we believe in professionalism. And that is all fine and good. And I really hope that if you haven't kind of done an activity around developing the core values of your business, that you will do that. When we think about the core values of a company, it's the same as we are personally. Our core values are there to guide our behavior, and it's the same in business. Core values aren't just something that you talk about during your team meetings, or that you put in your training manuals, or that you talk about and it's one and done. Your core values in your business should be the guide to every single thing that you do, the services that you provide, how you have your customer experience journey, how you onboard new team members, how you develop team culture. Your core values guide everything. I had a situation here in this last week that I wanted to share because I think that it highlighted this idea that we can have core values, but if we don't carry them through all aspects of our business, that it really starts to feel like we are out of our own integrity as a business. And I fully believe - this might sound like super catastrophic, but listen, that's just where I'm at today - I believe this can be the absolute demise of a company. Okay. I want to share with you about a conversation that I had with a small business owner recently. The first time that I met this small business owner, the first thing that drew me and that I noticed about this company was what an inclusive environment is. There was so much diversity in this really small business. There were people who were English as a second language. There were people who had diagnosed anxiety challenges. There were people that had all different ways of communicating and needs in this very small company. But I could tell that the owner had created this true sense of family and connection and support, and had been guiding his company so well through adapting some of the ways that they onboarded, how they did their schedule, how they set up their workstations. There were so many things that were going beautifully in the company, and it really stood out to me.
Kari Lotzien: [00:03:36] Now let's fast forward a bit. So I have a conversation here just a couple of weeks ago, and the same business owner came to me and said, I've got a new employee who is really underperforming. They are just not meeting the criteria for what we need in the business. So my response to this was, okay, tell me kind of where this person came from. How did you find them? How did they come to be? What are they doing really well? And this owner wanted me to work directly with that employee, which is always a hesitation for me because I like to work more with the owner, because I believe that they're the best ones who can create change in the business and really create that different culture, because then they're leading it. So as we were exploring this and I dug into it and I said, you know, I'm willing to kind of explore with this employee to figure out kind of like, what's going on, where are we missing, how might we adjust the training, or how might we adjust how we're communicating so that this person can be more successful, I said, but I really need to be working also with their manager. And who's the person who's responsible for mentorship? Who's the person that is the one who's guiding them, who's giving them tasks to do, who's doing their most of their training on a day to day basis? And this person paused and they said, well, we do - so defined who this person was - and said, ah, you know, but I'm a little bit hesitant because this person is difficult.
Kari Lotzien: [00:05:15] And what they then uncovered is that this person was really good at their job. They were really good at the tasks that they were assigned to do. They were in an admin position. So in terms of invoicing, communication, managing a really busy office, they were doing really well with the tasks. They had the ability to manage a lot of different competing demands on their attention and their time. But he said, really, when it comes to new staff, this person can be - his words, not mine - a little bit of a B. And he said there's times where she's just not very patient, where she's kind of like, you know, he's like, honestly, like there's times where I feel like she's really judgmental. I paused and I said, I apologize, but I'm kind of surprised. And I said, well, because back when we first met what I saw is that you had this beautiful, inclusive business. And when we talked about the core values of your business, it was family and trust and relationship. Like he just really created this sense of community and belonging for these people who may not have felt like they fit elsewhere. And I said, now you've given a management position and a mentorship position to someone who does not seem to hold those same core values of non-judgment and inclusion and family, and that sense of belonging. This just surprises me.
Kari Lotzien: [00:06:56] And as we talked through this, he said, well, honestly, I never looked at it that way because she's really good at her job. The tasks that she does on her front line, the things that she is responsible for outside of the management position, she's really good at. Now, I'm going to be honest with you, I'm really concerned about the future of this company if she stays, especially holding the same behaviors that she does right now that demonstrate judgment and not accepting people who have different learning abilities or people who might be challenged with the language. Because if that is how your behavior, how your mentorship, how your training program is being executed, the behavior of the business, if that's not in alignment with these core values of belonging and accepting and inclusivity that you are sharing and saying out loud to people, you have this real lack of integrity in your business.
[00:08:09] Jillian is an incredible entrepreneur who is going through a time of scaling her very successful business. When she offered to record a testimonial about her experience with the Anchored Leadership Academy to go on my podcast, I was so honored. Have a listen to what she had to say. My name is Jillian and I just finished the Anchored Leadership program with Kari Lotzien. I'm a financial planner. I've owned a practice for eight years. And I'd hit a space of exponential growth. Everything was going great, but I always struggled with the management of team, how to hire, how to fire, how to have those yucky conversations. And that was a huge takeaway from the Anchored Leadership, where I got tools and practice as to how to implement those things into my business so I can continue to grow and continue to thrive. It was an exceptional experience that I would highly recommend to any business owner who is looking to push through their discomfort to that next level of success. In the Anchored Leadership Academy, we combine weekly live sessions for one hour that focus on a key area of leadership, and then participants have the ability to work through all of the content in the modules between sessions. This allows a nice balance between accountability for really busy entrepreneurs to keep moving forward with the program and get it done, while also having the ability to flex their time a little bit and make it work for them. An added bonus, all participants get lifetime access to the videos, the audio, all of the resources in the course so you can keep coming back to it again and again when it applies to that specific time in your business. If this sounds like an interesting thing to you, click the link in the show notes, book an inquiry call, and let's see if the Anchored Leadership Academy is right for you at this stage of business. Thanks so much. Back to the show.
Kari Lotzien: [00:10:09] Now here's the thing. I think with small business owners, this can happen fairly easily because initially you are the hub of the wheel. And I do think that the owners behaviors were still in alignment with the core values of the company. But I think what had happened is that in that when this person was in a frontline role, when they were in an employee role without a management title, they were very successful in that position, and because they were successful in the position, they then got moved into management, which I see often. Promoted, not because they had exceptional mentorship abilities, because they were a really good manager of people, because they had really good communication skills. They were promoted because they were showing really good results in their role, in their current role as admin. But when we move them into a management position, now all of a sudden they are executing the core values of the business in a different role. And this was not lining up. I think we then need to go back and revisit. As the owner, have a conversation with that manager. These are the core values of the business, this is what we believe, and this is how our training protocol aligns with that core value. This is how our customer service aligns with our core values. When someone comes in and they can't really describe what's going on because maybe they are English as a second language, maybe they just don't have the knowledge or the experience, what I want to know, when we talk about inclusivity, belonging, family, that that customer is also met with patience, that we maybe try a few different ways to have a conversation with them so that we can gather the information that we need to provide the service to this person, but that we don't have that customer service experience where that person feels like they're a frustration, or that we don't have patience for them, or that they don't belong here.
Kari Lotzien: [00:12:31] So when we look at core values, I think this is where some businesses are falling short. And I want you to ask yourself, when you go back to your core values in your business, even if you are a solopreneur, when you look at every element of your business, how are you demonstrating those core values in your systems, in your processes, in the actions in the business? And if you can't easily tell me how your core values are demonstrated, or if I was to say to you, okay, poke holes. Are there any places in your company where your core value is not completely in alignment with how you're behaving? If you can't do that easily, I want you to just dive into it and really address are those two things lining up? A) if you are the one controlling all of those systems and processes, and you're the one actually executing the customer service, it's somewhat easier. But then if you have a team, and especially if you have someone else on your team who is executing at a management or a mentorship or doing training in your company, I am really pushing on the fact that they must be able to describe how your core values are demonstrated in their training, in how they're training the front line in terms of customer service or providing, you know, a product and experience for whoever is paying you to provide that service. How is that being executed on every single level? When you dive into this, you can create huge change in your business. But I think this is where core values just aren't enough.
Kari Lotzien: [00:14:16] So a little bit of food for thought today. This might feel a little bit, I don't know, intense or pushy. I'm really not trying to be pushy. I want your business to succeed, and I think we spend a lot of time thinking about our core values and what we stand for and what we want to stand for, but that is not a one and done exercise. Your core values need to show up in your business, in your processes, every single day, every single time that you face a challenge, or you're coming up against a question where you're not sure what the right thing is to do, you go back to your core values and you say, okay, if this is our core value, what would be the next right action that we would take? It should guide your decision-making. So core values are not a one and done where you write it on a piece of paper and then you don't look at it for another, I don't know, five years. It should be part of every single decision you make. And if it's not aligning or if you need to shift your core values to maybe more accurately describe your current model, that's okay. But make sure those two things are connected, because if they're not, this can be the demise of your business. Because when you get this or when you have someone, especially in management or mentorship training position, where their core values are in opposition to yours, this is toxic and it can spread like a cancer through your business. And you don't want that.
Kari Lotzien: [00:15:44] Okay, I love you. I want to share the hard things with you, and I want to be having these hard conversations. I want to point out where you might be having some blind spots in your business. So today that's all this little episode was, is to just invite you to have a look at that and to do some serious little work on really digging in. Okay. Thanks so much for being here. We'll see you next week. If you haven't clicked on the link to subscribe to the newsletter, that is the absolute best way to know what's going on, when new episodes are released, what the topics are, and all of the fun little things that I'm doing, connections that I'm making, I love to share. So the best place to connect with me is definitely through my newsletter. So click on the link in the notes and sign up for that. Thanks so much. We'll see you next time.
Kari Lotzien: [00:16:31] Please know that this podcast is meant for entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitution for medical or professional mental health advice. If you require support, please do reach out. Thanks so much.
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Last episode, I introduced part one of this series on living the life that you crave. I gave you background on what that means and really did deep dive into my tagline, âlive the life you craveâ. If you havenât listened to Episode 31, take a quick moment now to listen and come back when youâre finished. Now, in part two, Iâm going to talk about actually living that life. There are six steps Iâll share about how to create the life that you crave and then go about living it.
I sometimes think about what will be said about my life when Iâm gone. What impact did I have? Did I give back? Was my life one that was well lived? I believe our lives are about impact and purpose, fulfilling the reason weâre here. Itâs not all about business, but about what differences we can make through our lives and businesses. So in taking action to live the life you crave, my steps are very focused on actually living and not just reaching financial goals. These steps apply even if youâre struggling, if youâre not in a successful place or if you havenât yet found your dream or goal but are just realizing you want something new: that is your dream. Change is your dream. Moving past struggle is the life you crave at the moment.
The six steps ask you to look back at where youâve already been to recognize the obstacles youâve already overcome. They demand that you acknowledge your dreams and goals that are about more than just fiscal milestones. They teach you to understand that when you reach a mushroom cloud of expansion, your business will become something bigger than yourself. What is the journey that youâre on? How far have you already come? What are you learning and appreciating along the way? These are key questions to focus on as you work at living the life that you crave.
Key Moments
05:21 Step one is to look back. Look at how far youâve already come.
11:07 Step three is asking how your dreams and goals appear. Where are you heading?
18:42 When your journey becomes bigger than you, how many other lives will you impact and enrich?
Process over progress means living the action of getting to your destination; enjoying the journeyHow do you live in the moments that lead you to your goal instead of just staring down the goal?Let yourself have an experience that pinpoints what you really crave__
Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:
Website: BeTheAnchor.caFacebook: BeTheAnchorLtdInstagram: BeTheAnchor.caLinkedin: Be-The-Anchor-Ltd__
Transcript:
Kari Lotzien: [00:00:01] Welcome to Be the Anchor, the podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach Kari Lotzien. When the seas of life get stormy, and they always will, it is not up to us to captain anyone else's ship or to try to calm the waters of the ocean. It's up to us to set our own destination for what we really want, and to learn how to navigate those waves of life together while finding that place of security and stability with others. I call this being an anchor.
Kari Lotzien: [00:00:37] Hello my friends. Welcome back. This is part two in the series Live the Life You Crave. Now, if you didn't listen to the last episode, episode 31, I give you the background and we really dive deep into this phrase 'live the life you crave', which is the tagline of my business. I invite you to just reflect on that. So if you haven't listened to that episode, go back, have a quick listen, and then come back to this one, because now we're going to dig into how do you go about living the life that you crave? I'm going to talk about six steps, key ways that you can move towards truly creating the life that you crave and then living it. When I talk about living the life that you crave, I want to just review that I am talking about craving as the combined feeling of some destination, goal, project that feels like it has an energy of its own, that you are being pulled towards it, and that in the pursuit of that thing, you are becoming a better version of yourself. And likely you are also creating a ripple effect on those around you that are making your industry, your family, your community better in some way.
Kari Lotzien: [00:01:59] The craving is also linked to need. I believe that when we crave something, it is closely tied to not only a desire, but there is a need for what we want to feel, appreciated, valued, we need to feel a sense of belonging. We need to feel a sense of value, that we are truly giving back. I think that when you live a life that you crave, what happens is you have this sense that your life was well lived. I think it is bigger than us, and I think that many of us can think back to a time where we've gone to a celebration of life or something like that, and you see the true celebration that, man, that was a life well lived. That person had an impact. And it doesn't have to be a global worldwide impact where they changed, you know, the face of their industry. They can have such an incredible impact on very few people, you know, people who dedicate their lives to helping the homeless or to being an incredible teacher or giving their life to others through service, whether that is in healthcare, education, psychology, whatever it is.
Kari Lotzien: [00:03:13] I feel like there are times, and it's not tied to an industry either, I want to point that out, that's really clear. I think that there are humans in this world who have just had an incredible impact on others, and sometimes they're not even seen or celebrated or you don't fully recognize it until sometimes their life ends, and then you see the impact that they were able to have. Now, maybe that sounds morbid. And here we are, three minutes into the episode of Living the Life That You Crave and I'm talking about death. But, I don't know, maybe I'm crazy and I'm curious to know what you guys think about this too, I do think about what people are going to say about me at my funeral. Is that weird? If it's weird, maybe let me know and I won't talk about it anymore. But I do think about that. I think about what would people say about me? What is the impact that I've had? How did I treat people? That matters to me even though I won't be there, maybe, depending on what you believe, I kind of think I'll be able to still hear what they're saying about me. But I think when we live the life that we crave, it becomes like we're fulfilling our purpose of why we were here. And that doesn't have to be big and extravagant. It can be very small, but we feel like we're making a difference. I think our life is not just about business, but it's about all aspects of how we are using the life that we have been given in business, in community, in relationships, in our own health. And I think in terms of living it, what I'm talking about is the action piece. Are you living? Are you taking action on that life that you crave right now, how does it feel? So as we unpack these next six steps together, this is the how. How are you going to move towards that? I think in the six steps this helps, I believe, my clients, this is what helps myself in looking back and saying, okay, how do I stay on this track? When I get on track, what pulls me back on that road that I want to be on when maybe I faltered? Or maybe things are really hard? These are the six steps that I believe have real power.
Kari Lotzien: [00:05:21] Number one, look back. Now, when I thought about these six steps, I want to share with you a little bit of a story that a few years back I was going through an exceptionally hard time and I felt like I had no direction. I didn't know what the right choice was in many areas of my life. I felt like things were just messy and hard, and I just could not get clear. And the messaging that I kept hearing is I couldn't even hear my own voice. It was so noisy, I could hear all the shoulds, right? All the voices of people saying, you should do this, you should do that, you could do this, you could do that. But I couldn't hear my own. So I decided, kind of decided, kind of felt pulled to take time and just leave it all behind. So I went away and I did kind of like a mini, I don't know, vision quest, let's just call it that. It sounds fancy and exciting, but I went away and I was by myself, completely by myself, for eight days, completely alone. And then I spent significant amounts of time in the vehicle traveling completely by myself. Now other people were around. I was not in the middle of a forest with wildlife. I'm not that kind of a girl. I was at an Airbnb by myself. I ate dinner by myself in a restaurant. So, I mean, it was a pretty bougie vision quest, but I digress. While I was doing this, I did a lot of hiking and this is where these steps came to me. So the first step in looking back is I would go on hikes and you know when things get really tough on a hike and you're thinking, oh my gosh, how am I not at the top yet? How have I not reached the summit yet? This is brutal. How far am I? The power and the energy that I would find when I simply turned around and looked at where I came from. How many times are you pursuing something in your life and it's hard and you're not there yet. You're looking for the destination, you're trying to get to it, and it still seems so far away. I invite you to look back at where you started and give yourself credit for how far you've come already. Right now, at this moment in time, look how far you've come. Because what I know is that just appreciating that, seeing the obstacles you've already overcome, seeing the amount of progress you've already made, gives you energy to keep going. When you turn around again, and you look for that summit, that destination, and moving forward, I think it gives you this renewed energy. And what is really cool about that is it's based on data. This is not affirmations. This is not believing in yourself. This is not trying to do unconscious programming. When you turn around and you just acknowledge all of the progress you've already made, this is data that said, this is all the things I did before, I can likely keep making progress on this journey. So that's number one. Look back.
Kari Lotzien: [00:08:31] Number two, think about what obstacles have you already overcome? Now I want you to, like, dig into this. Let those voices be heard. So remember when I said to you that when I was taking this like little mini bougie vision quest, it was because I couldn't hear my own voice anymore? When I did this little activity, and I thought about the obstacles that I overcame, a lot of those obstacles were the shoulds. It was people telling me that this was a crazy idea, that it was never going to happen. It was times where I didn't believe in myself, where I questioned my own knowledge. Like, do I even have the ability to do this? Do I have the experience? Do I have the backing, financially or otherwise? How many people are telling me that they don't support me, that they think I should be doing something else? Financially, right, some of us did not grow up with backing or the ability to really pursue the highest levels of education or to have that, you know, start-up funding for our brand new business, because that's just not where we came from. When you think about your life in pursuit of whatever life you're moving towards, what obstacles have you overcome on the way to get there? And let yourself go into it, because I think, again, there are times where we're like, oh, well, I don't like to think about the hard things. I don't like to think about the things that have been maybe not as pretty, or I don't want to feel like I'm blaming others for holding me back in my pursuit. I just want to stay focused on my vision and my goals and my dreams. But I think in acknowledging the obstacles that you've already overcome, what you're doing is you're actually acknowledging your own resilience. You're saying, this thing that I crave, that seems to be like pulling me towards it, is bigger than the doubts, the financial situation, where I came from, how I grew up, the education that I had. It's bigger than that, and I have found a way to overcome these obstacles on my path. Again, what this is, is it's data that is showing your resilience. I think again, this fuels that fire in the pursuit of moving towards that thing you crave.
Kari Lotzien: [00:11:07] Number three. Ask yourself, how do your dreams and goals appear? In this one I think that goals and dreams have been given a bad rap, because I feel like there's this sense that, oh, suddenly, like, we're going to have a dream or we'll suddenly have a vision or someone will say something to us and suddenly we know that, oh, this is the life that I am supposed to be leading. Here's my dream, here's my goal, here's my vision. And now I just need to figure out how to get to it. When I see it like that, I feel like it comes with glitters and it's like got rainbows around it and it's all like, beautiful. I don't think all dreams show up like that. And when I look at my own life, when I look at the life for a lot of my clients who have really done incredible things, their dreams didn't come in glitter and rainbows and like this vision of, oh, look how beautiful it will be. Many, many, many, many times those goals and dreams came in the form of I can't do this anymore. I cannot continue on this path. I can't take this one more day. So their dream or their vision might have shown up in they are drowning in bills that they can't pay, that maybe their house is at risk of being foreclosed on. Maybe the insurance and the utility companies are threatening to shut off their power. Maybe they can't afford to put groceries on the table and they are using places like the food bank. There are times where people get so frustrated with the current situation that they are in abusive relationships, lack of someone else seeing their value. So maybe they're in a job that they just know they're so unappreciated and it's really not going anywhere. And that little voice in their head says, I can't do this one more day. There has to be a better way. Just know that is a dream and a vision. That is a dream and a goal.
Kari Lotzien: [00:13:21] It doesn't have to come packaged with a shiny bow on it. It can come in terms of frustration and anger and resentment, like, just know that it's still that sense of craving. There's something more for me and I feel pulled to do something about it. I have to live differently. I have to take action on this. So just let's acknowledge that. I think this is a big one, I really do because too many people feel like that frustration is what holds them back or what sinks them. And what I know from countless people that I have worked with, I think we're drawn to that, right? The stories of people who overcome incredible turmoil in their lives, trauma and abuse, and they come from nothing. Many people living on the streets who go on to do amazing things. I really think that when you have hard times, it's like the elastic band that pulls you back and it's like you feel like you're starting below zero with no money, no education, no anything. But I now know how many stories I've heard, this is the proof, the data that I see over and over again, people who have that kind of pull back, when they start moving towards the direction of whatever it is that they're craving, it's like a slingshot. When that elastic starts moving forward, they go so much further. Because there's a drive to that and a passion that I don't know that we get on the other end when things are easier. Now I wish, I wish I was wrong in this because I wish that in my own life I could say, well, when things get easier that I'll create that flywheel and then things will just get better and better and better. And I think that eventually it hits that. But I think we all have to come through these pieces of obstacles and resilience and turmoil and frustration that almost creates that slingshot effect to move us forward in creating the life that we crave. So if you're in the pits of despair right now and you just cannot see your way out of it and you are drowning in bills, do not think that this episode is not for you, because it's maybe more for you than it is for anyone. I'm talking to you. You are right where you need to be and you can use that as fuel.
[00:15:55] Gillian is an incredible entrepreneur who is going through a time of scaling her very successful business. When she offered to record a testimonial about her experience with the Anchored Leadership Academy to go on my podcast, I was so honored. Have a listen to what she had to say. My name is Gillian and I just finished the Anchored Leadership program with Kari Lotzien. I'm a financial planner. I've owned a practice for eight years. And I'd hit a space of exponential growth. Everything was going great, but I always struggled with the management of team, how to hire, how to fire, how to have those yucky conversations. And that was a huge takeaway from the Anchored Leadership, where I got tools and practice as to how to implement those things into my business so I can continue to grow and continue to thrive. It was an exceptional experience that I would highly recommend to any business owner who is looking to push through their discomfort to that next level of success. In the Anchored Leadership Academy, we combine weekly live sessions for one hour that focus on a key area of leadership, and then participants have the ability to work through all of the content in the modules between sessions. This allows a nice balance between accountability for really busy entrepreneurs to keep moving forward with the program and get it done, while also having the ability to flex their time a little bit and make it work for them. An added bonus: all participants get lifetime access to the videos, the audio, all of the resources in the course so you can keep coming back to it again and again when it applies to that specific time in your business. If this sounds like an interesting thing to you, click the link in the show notes, book an inquiry call, and let's see if the Anchored Leadership Academy is right for you at this stage of business. Thanks so much. Back to the show.
Kari Lotzien: [00:17:57] Okay. Number four, once you have acknowledged the data that has said, look at what has gotten me where I am right now, and you've got the data to show it. Where I think that we then, it turns into this mushroom cloud, and I think what truly gives so many of my clients, the people that I just adore hearing their stories, is every single time that vision, that life that they crave, every single time when I see it mushroom cloud and turn into something beyond what they could even imagine, the secret sauce is that it becomes bigger than them. The next thing I want you to do is ask whose life will change as I begin to live the life I crave. It might be your showcasing for your kids that they don't have to grow up the way that you did. Maybe you are changing the industry for someone else. Maybe you are giving hope to the clients or the customers that you work with. Maybe you are changing the face of how you're able to give back to your community, or support a charity that you believe in. Or maybe this frees up your time so that you can show that you can have an incredibly successful business and travel the world and have an incredible, really nourishing life. And maybe then when you go to different countries, you support other entrepreneurs in their small businesses who are just trying to make a go of it themselves. I always, I think the fuel that really causes these dreams to ignite is when it becomes bigger than ourselves and every single person, every single business that I have seen that's gone on to do really incredible things, it is always bigger than the success of the owner and is definitely bigger than financial gain. The more people that you can impact, the more change that you can make. The more that you can see beyond your own personal benefit, the more this will completely take off. It's like adding fuel to your fire. So I want you to acknowledge whose life changes as you begin to live the life you crave. Make it bigger than yourself.
Kari Lotzien: [00:20:21] Number five, measure process over progress. Okay, now what does this mean? So if you have a goal, I think it is really easy for us to say, okay, when I hit these milestones, so if I'm trying to earn seven figures in my business, you might break it down and say, okay, I need to earn 100,000 by this point in the year, and I need to earn this much by this point in the year. And then we mark our success or our journey through meeting those objectives and goals. Here's why I'm not a fan of that. I think it is one point that we want to measure or be aware of, but it can't be the driving force. When you talk about living the life that you crave, living it, the action of it is based in the process. Right? So we hear things like, you know, the magic is in the journey. Well, it absolutely is. Because if you're not enjoying the journey and the process along the way in how you're achieving the life that you crave, you will never get there. And the risk in this is we hear multi-billionaires who get to that point in their life and say, okay, I've been just upping my financial goal over and over and over again. And I keep meeting them. I keep hitting those targets and doesn't feel any different.
Kari Lotzien: [00:21:48] I'm still alone. I'm still sad. I'm still not having any fun in my life. It's a really sad moment when you hear someone who has this list of accolades of things they've done in their life, and inside they feel very unsatisfied and they still feel alone. This is where when I talked in part one of really looking at all of the different parts of your life and what creates the life that you crave, a very small sliver has to do with actually financial goals or how much body mass do you have? Right? Like when I talk about living the life you crave and if you're measuring your progress towards the life you crave, that I'm going to lose 20 pounds by this point next year, and then you measure every pound that you lose. And now you're 20 pounds lighter, but you're still not having any fun. And your life didn't change. When I talk about the life you crave, you don't crave losing 20 pounds. You crave maybe the ability to go and hike with your family. Maybe you crave the ability to go and run around with your grandkids and play soccer, and not feel like your knees are going to break. When you are living it, when you are measuring process, process says, okay, I'm going to do this and on the journey, on the journey to losing 20 pounds, I'm going to have a ten minute dance party in the kitchen three times a week. I'm going to take my kids to the park a couple times a week, and I'm going to play with them.
Kari Lotzien: [00:23:26] I'm not going to sit on the side and watch. I'm going to maybe join that pickleball program that's running in my community, and I'm going to do that a couple of times a week. Do you see how now it's really easy for me to say, okay, well, did I have a dance party three times a week? Process. Did I join that pickleball organization? Process. Did I play with my grandkids, did I join them playing soccer? Whatever that is, that's process. That says I'm enjoying the journey that is likely getting me closer to my health goal. They have to connect. So measure the process. Measure did you actually do the thing that you think will get you closer to your goal? In business this might look like, did you make those sales calls or are you just frustrated that you haven't met that financial objective yet? You can't measure making the financial objective, because there may be so many other factors in how you achieve that goal. The same with health, really. There are so many other factors that are outside of your control that by measuring your progress only towards the acquisition or how far away you are from that specific destination, you are going to feel so frustrated because very quickly, you'll realize that so many things are out of your control and you'll lose that process piece of it. But if you measure the process, you will naturally see you're getting closer and closer to your goal. So you focus on the process. You focus on what are the things, the activities that I'm going to do that I think will lead me there? And you track that, you focus on that in the data.
Kari Lotzien: [00:25:11] And last, this is a really big one. I'm going to come back to my story. So when I took my little bougie vision quest and I did a lot of hiking, I had an experience where I spent all day hiking and by myself completely. I actually didn't see one other person. Luckily, I also didn't see one other animal, so, I digress. That whole day I was completely by myself. And when I finally got to the destination, when I got to the summit and it was breathtaking, it absolutely took my breath away. What I could see is this cliff that overlooked the ocean. And in that moment it was like the world just went silent. I couldn't hear any more of those you should do this, you should do that. But I felt this sense of clarity that I don't know that I've ever felt before. It brought me to my knees. I got incredibly emotional. And I ended up having an experience. Now, if you believe in something bigger than yourself, you could say that was a higher power, that was God, whatever that was. If that feels right to you, you follow that. If it doesn't, I'm going to ask you, create the experiences that allow you to hear your own voice. And if that means you need to go spend some time by yourself for a while, if you need to go walk in nature, for me, that works beautifully. I feel like things are quieter, things are slower when I'm in nature and it allows me to just sort my own thoughts. That's the path. That's the process that I take to hear it.
Kari Lotzien: [00:27:11] For you, it might be something completely different. It might be going for a run, it might be reading great poetry, it might be listening to beautiful music. Whatever it is, doesn't matter, but I want you to see can you find your own voice? And when you find it, whether you write it, whether you record a video for yourself, I want you to give yourself a message of reassurance, of being on the right track, of self compassion to give yourself a boost. Some of the things that I've done over the years, so I did, when I reached that summit and I was overlooking the ocean, the message that came to me is that on that journey, on the journey that day, there's so many times I didn't know where I was going. It was one of those really weird paths that sometimes it felt like the path just disappeared and I didn't know where I was anymore. And I would take just a few more steps. And it was like the path appeared and there were some times where it was kind of funny, but I would actually turn completely 360 degrees and I would just keep pivoting and then all of a sudden it was like, then I could see the trail, but when I was following it, it was, all of a sudden it disappeared. And the messages that I got from myself were these last five steps. That when you're in doubt and you're tired, look back and see how far you came. Acknowledge all of the obstacles that you overcame. There was moments that day that were really hard, and I just kept moving over those obstacles, just like I have in my life. And they will look different for every single one of us. I recognized that sometimes dreams and goals for me that day, the message I got was sometimes dreams and goals look like letting go. Sometimes dreams and goals look like giving up and walking away and knowing when it's time to move on. And in that day, and in that moment when I could hear my own voice, it told me, stop always measuring in terms of the destination. Because there will be days where you don't get there. But if you didn't enjoy the journey along the way and you didn't pause and notice the beauty that was in the process to getting exactly where you are right now, this loses its power, and you will not see the same beauty, and you will not have that same sense of accomplishment when you reach the end goal if you didn't stop and pause and acknowledge the process that got you here.
Kari Lotzien: [00:30:01] So this series in Living the Life That You Crave, is my personal sharing in when I was able to take that time to just hear my own voice, these were the steps that came back to me. And when I sat today thinking about what I was going to record for my podcast episode, I felt the need that I want to share this with you. Because when it became bigger than me, when I recognized that part of my journey and my process in what I want in my life is how can I share these little tidbits and messages with others who are also trying to create and live the life that they crave? And as I share this, it becomes bigger than me. And my hope is that when I plant these seeds, these thoughts with you, and then you make your dream, your vision, bigger than you that this creates a ripple effect where we truly can change the way that we are showing up in the world. I know that sounds huge and it sounds overwhelming, but I truly believe that when more of us live this way and we live this way with intention, we have more power than we will ever recognize.
Kari Lotzien: [00:31:25] Now as I wrap up today, I want to come back to no matter where you are, no matter what your journey looks like right now, at this moment in time, living the life you crave is available to you. It is available through action and support and love. And knowing that part of that craving is not just linked to an egoic desire to attain more in your life. It is part of your human evolution that will allow you to be even better than you are right now, and it is a need. Just like that infant that craves touch, it is integral to their development. It is not, it is not a desire, it's not just a want, it is absolutely part of who they will become. This is the message I want to leave you with today. I love you all so much. I'd love to hear your thoughts on part one and part two of this series in Living the Life You Crave. I'd love to hear your feedback on this episode. Any thoughts that you have, feel free to drop me an email, follow the link in the show notes. Always be sure to sign up for my newsletter, because if you want to have more conversation, if you want to get into a webinar or a workshop with me, that is absolutely the best way to find out what I'm up to. Thanks so much. We'll see you next time.
Kari Lotzien: [00:33:00] Please know that this podcast is meant for entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitution for medical or professional mental health advice. If you require support, please do reach out. Thanks so much.
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This episode is special for me because I am talking about my tagline. Perhaps you didnât know until right now that I have a tagline! Weâll unpack it together. My tagline is âLive the life you craveâ. This phrase is very important to me, it holds a lot of value, and I found it through intention and focus. The important place to start in understanding it is to define what âcraveâ actually means. Iâll do that and examine exactly what it means to live what we crave in this episode.
Craving, according to the dictionary, is not just something that we want but something that we need. The definition likens it to how infants crave touch. Infants donât just want touch, they need it in order to develop and grow. The thing we crave isnât just an idle want, itâs something we need, something that pulls us in, something we deeply require. When you examine the cravings in your life, what are they? What do you want and need in order to thrive? What pulls you?
Iâm going to talk about how living the life you crave encompasses more than just work, more than just your business. If you are succeeding at work but struggling with personal relationships, then the full life that you crave is not being satisfied. What do you need to create for your life to be filled on all levels? What do you crave about living that will make you fulfilled in the moment and not just living for a future when things hopefully align? I want you to think about these questions as you move through this episode with me.
Key Moments
02:11 Defining the word âcraveâ
05:28 Does the thing that you crave feel bigger than you? Drive you towards impacting change?
11:43 Your life is made up of more than work and all the components deserve to be strong
Are you struggling with personal things outside of work? Finding balance is part of what you craveWhen you live the life you crave, does it align with your values in ways that satisfy you right now?Itâs vital to think about every aspect of what you crave for your life__
Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:
Website: BeTheAnchor.caFacebook: BeTheAnchorLtdInstagram: BeTheAnchor.caLinkedin: Be-The-Anchor-Ltd__
Transcript:
Kari Lotzien: [00:00:01] Welcome to Be the Anchor, the podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach Kari Lotzien. When the seas of life get stormy, and they always will, it is not up to us to captain anyone else's ship or to try to calm the waters of the ocean. It's up to us to set our own destination for what we really want, and to learn how to navigate those waves of life together while finding that place of security and stability with others. I call this being an anchor. Hello my friends. I'm so glad you're here. Today is a special episode. I want to unpack my tagline with you. Live the life you crave. Now, some of you may not have realized until right now that that even was my tagline. But this phrase holds incredible value for me, and it's something that I came to with a lot of intention and focus. And as we unpack it together, I hope that it has as much power and brings you a chance to reflect and really dig in to the vision for your own life, like this phrase does for me. Let's start with, in this phrase live the life you crave, I want to start with the word crave. Because when I think about that word, I think about wanting something so much that it feels like you are pulled towards it. It's not a dream or a destination way off in the future that you feel like you have to hustle and grind and push towards, but that it feels hard.
Kari Lotzien: [00:01:44] When I think of things that we crave, it's like that thing, that vision, the future, the project, the business, the family, the relationship. It has its own energy. And when I think about things that we crave, I feel like there is a pull towards them that it's almost hard to resist moving towards that thing in our future. When we talk about the word crave and being defined as something that we intensely desire, I think it falls short a little bit. And when I read the example, or the sentence that was given in the dictionary, it said 'an example of craving is teaching parents to provide the touch that infants crave'. And as I thought about this, I thought, okay, there's something here that's really important because I think craving is more than something we desire, something we want. It's something that we need. There is a partnership between how we move towards this thing that we crave. But it's paired with something that we also require. Infants don't just desire touch. Infants require it. They require touch for the development of their nervous systems. They require touch so that they learn how to respond and develop that human connection with others. This is how they develop that sense of trust and relationship. They learn to accept touch, and they learn to give touch in a healthy and caring and kind way. When we crave touch, it's not just about, oh, it would be really, really nice to have. It is part of the development of who we are.
Kari Lotzien: [00:03:38] And I think that when you picture what are you craving in your life, whether it's a relationship, whether it's a business, whether it's a big idea, whether it's something that you feel pulled to do, I think what we want to understand is that this is a key part of who we will become as human beings, as we pursue or move towards that vision. So many times when I meet with clients, and myself included, when I had an idea for starting my first company, I didn't think of it in terms of, oh, I want to make this much money and this is what I want. It was a craving that I wanted to provide something different. I wanted to be of service, and I could suddenly see that I had something that I could bring to my clients that I felt would really make their life better and to the point, and I know it sounds kind of hokey, but my first business vision, my mission statement, was I wanted to change the world for kids. And although that sounded very grandiose and very, very big, that was truly the work that I felt like I was doing, that when I was working closely with parents and I was working with teachers, and I was helping them to change their perspective in how they viewed children who had challenges, I truly felt this was so much bigger than myself, and it became a craving that I felt pulled, this was something that I needed to do.
Kari Lotzien: [00:05:14] And in the pursuit of that, not saying that there were not times where things were difficult because there absolutely was, but it felt bigger than me. It felt like a pulling, not only a pursuit, if that makes sense. And I hear this over and over and over again with my clients. It feels bigger than themselves. It feels like there is an energy to be pulled towards doing something bigger, because it generally not only impacts their own life and creates that vision that they see for themselves, but often it has a ripple effect on changing communities or really creating change in industries or cultures. Like it becomes really big. So when you think about the thing that you crave, I want you to recognize that you're pulled towards something bigger than yourself. Now you might already be saying, okay, but I don't understand because I think we crave things that are not good for us as well. So where does that fit, Kari? Okay, well, here's the thing. I don't think that we actually crave the thing that is bad for us. So if you think about, okay, someone who is craving drugs or alcohol or they're craving food, that's not good for them and it doesn't really make sense. And it feels like this it's a bad craving. I think it is not that deep, that it's not actually the cigarettes, or the drink, or the drugs, or the bad food that we're craving, I think what we're craving is the feeling that it gives us underneath. It's the craving for what that will lead to.
Kari Lotzien: [00:06:47] I think the true craving is underneath that surface level. So if you peel one layer back for someone who is maybe craving going for drinks and, you know, cutting loose. Is what they're craving that sense of release? Are they craving that sense that when I have a few drinks I feel more confident? I feel more connected. I'm more social. I feel like I'm around people and that I have this sense of community. When you peel back just one layer, I think the craving is that sense of community and connection. I think when we crave food that's not good for us, it often relates to sometimes the sense of community. You know, we go out for food together and we overeat or we drink or whatever. Maybe we crave certain types of food when we're feeling down, when we're feeling lonely, when we're feeling isolated. And it kind of masks that sense. We don't crave the food, we crave that feeling of a sense of being full, a sense of being fulfilled. I think the craving comes from that need that we're looking for that is part of our human evolution. And I think sometimes the thing that we describe as craving on the way to that is not accurate. So I feel that that really defines and I always try to look further than if someone says they're craving something that doesn't quite align. I want to look at what is the destination, what is the feeling, what is the outcome that they might be truly craving? But their path to get there might not be exactly what they're wanting, or what makes sense, or what is in their best, highest interest. So when I define what do you crave? What are you pulled towards? What feels bigger than you? And then define that.
Kari Lotzien: [00:08:52] The next step is talking about living the life that you crave. I think this is another thing that differentiates me from a lot of coaches. I hear, and I understand it, I hear so much about niching and really developing a narrow focus in your industry so that people know, oh, this is the person that I work with. But one of the things that I find with my clients is that I don't want you to just develop the business that you crave. I don't want you to just develop the relationships that you crave in your community, or in your day-to-day partnerships in your family. I don't want you to just create a healthy lifestyle that you have a strong physical and mental health.
[00:09:42] Gillian is an incredible entrepreneur who is going through a time of scaling her very successful business. When she offered to record a testimonial about her experience with the Anchored Leadership Academy to go on my podcast, I was so honored. Have a listen to what she had to say. My name is Gillian and I just finished the Anchored Leadership Program with Kari Lotzien. I'm a financial planner. I've owned a practice for eight years and I'd hit a space of exponential growth. Everything was going great, but I always struggled with the management of team, how to hire, how to fire, how to have those yucky conversations. And that was a huge takeaway from the Anchored Leadership, where I got tools and practice as to how to implement those things into my business so I can continue to grow and continue to thrive. It was an exceptional experience that I would highly recommend to any business owner who is looking to push through their discomfort to that next level of success. In the Anchored Leadership Academy, we combine weekly live sessions for one hour that focus on a key area of leadership, and then participants have the ability to work through all of the content in the modules between sessions. This allows a nice balance between accountability for really busy entrepreneurs to keep moving forward with the program and get it done, while also having the ability to flex their time a little bit and make it work for them. An added bonus: all participants get lifetime access to the videos, the audio, all of the resources in the course so you can keep coming back to it again and again when it applies to that specific time in your business. If this sounds like an interesting thing to you, click the link in the show notes, book an inquiry call, and let's see if the Anchored Leadership Academy is right for you at this stage of business. Thanks so much. Back to the show.
Kari Lotzien: [00:11:43] When I look at your life, I look at all of the different parts. I see too many entrepreneurs, small business owners who try to compartmentalize their life. And then generally one area of their life might feel really strong. So maybe you've developed an exceptional business where you have customers who rave about you. You're making more money than you've ever made in your life, and you're so proud of that. But maybe your family life is suffering. Maybe your partnership with the person who you have dedicated your life to and who you're really close and connected to, is suffering as a result of the time and the energy that you're spending on your business or on work.
Kari Lotzien: [00:12:31] In my perspective that is not creating the life that you crave. It's not living the life that you crave. It's creating an element of a strong business that is merely a spoke in the wheel of your life. What I want you to think about is when you are designing your life, i want you to think about all of the different aspects, the things that you crave in terms of relationship, family, social, physical and mental health and business. This creates a life that you crave. So many entrepreneurs, small business owners, and I see this - I was going to say that I see this more with moms and female business owners who feel like they compartmentalize their life, that they're trying to kind of do it all. They're trying to be a great parent and volunteer and, you know, be at their kid's sports. But then they're also trying to develop this business. But I actually don't think that's the case as much anymore. When I'm listening closely to men who are also running small businesses and have families, I think that we, this generation, we're starting to see more of a blurred line between work and home life. Now, I think one is that we are constantly accessible and that those lines can blur between family and work.
Kari Lotzien: [00:14:00] But also our roles are changing. That we are expecting, and I think both partners are wanting, to be more connected. We're wanting to have more balanced lives. We're not wanting to do, you know, 120 hour weeks. We're not wanting to just dedicate our whole world to work. And then our partner looks after kind of the home life. And then, you know, that's how we create a balanced family. I think we are individually looking to have more balanced lives where we have those really close relationships and connections that work with our businesses, that work with our schedules so that we can have this life that we crave, not just the business. And I think this is also something that is unique about how I work with people, is I always want to know, that is awesome that your business is really taking off and you're getting a lot of clients, talk to me about how that's affecting things at home. Or, you know, I know with a lot of my clients, they share with me things that are going on in their personal lives. They have loved ones who are undergoing surgeries or who have fallen ill, and then that is taking their emotional toll. They want to be there, they want to be there to support their families, but they also have businesses that they're running. And I want to know, okay, I heard that your mom is not well and that you're making some really big decisions in your family right now. Talk to me about how that's affecting things at work. Who's taking over, who's helping that part of your life to stay smooth? And how do these things work together? It is all one machine. It's not individual parts and pieces.
Kari Lotzien: [00:15:42] And then the last part of this is living the life that you crave. Now I think we hear a lot about values. We hear a lot about goals and dreams and plans and visions. But now I want to know, are you living it? And to me, living is an action. It is something that we do, not something we dream about, not something that you envision or work towards. It's what you're doing right now. And I think this is another really big piece. As high performers, we are really good at setting goals and moving towards them, but I hear too too often, when. When we achieve this milestone, when I hire three more people, when we close this big sale, when my kids get a little older, when we move to this new community, when... and it's like the payoff is in the future. And what I see is that people who constantly are telling me these things, that when this happens, inevitably, by the time one of those things, by the time your kids are older, by the time you've moved to that community, by the time you've opened the next sale or you've closed that next sale, something else comes in.
Kari Lotzien: [00:17:05] And that payoff just seems to be getting farther and farther out. What I want to know when we work together is are you living the life that you crave? What is it looking like? How is it showing up right now? I want to really be clear on this. I'm not saying that things are perfect every day because they're not. You're going to have seasons where things are just hard. You're going to have unexpected things come up in your family, in your business, in your relationships, in your own health. That happens. I'm not giving you this overly positive gushy, 'the world is your oyster, things are smooth all the time'. That's not what I'm talking about. What I'm talking about is when you look at your life and you give yourself a grade on how you feel you're living right now, are you satisfied? Are you grateful? Do you feel like you're making progress in the direction of the thing that you crave? I want to know what does that look like today? Because more days than not, I want you to feel like you are actively living the life that you crave. I don't want you to be putting it off into the future. We can be moving towards a bigger goal. We can be in pursuit of a project or a dream or something next. But I don't want you to feel like the satisfaction that you have in your life is in the future. That you suffer now, so that you can have a payoff later on.
Kari Lotzien: [00:18:37] I think that whole rewards and consequences behaviorist approach, it doesn't work, and I think we're hearing it still in so many places. Rewards and consequences, right? We will put off our satisfaction and our lifestyle right now because we think that there's going to be this maybe big financial payoff in the future, or there's going to be this big thing that we're going to come into so that we keep pursuing it, thinking that, well, that big carrot, that big reward will pay off, or we run away from that feeling of discomfort trying to get ahead of it. I want you to just pause in this moment and say, am I living the life that I crave? Am I getting the things? And when I talk about craving, it's that combination of what are you feeling pulled towards? Are you getting closer to it? And are you fulfilling that need that is allowing you to evolve as a person? And moving you forward. Live the life you crave. Live it in action. Your life is all parts. And what do you crave that is moving you towards the person that you want to be in this world? That's what I'm talking about today. And I invite you to just spend some time with this. Maybe jot this phrase at the top of a piece of paper, and then just brainstorm all of the thoughts that come up for you.
Kari Lotzien: [00:20:12] What are the things that are feeling amazing right now, that feel like they are aligned with what you crave? And what are those things that are maybe a little bit in the future that you feel pulled towards in all of those different aspects and just let it come out. Just dump it out on the paper, have a look at it, see what it looks like. If you choose to, reach out to me, let's have a conversation about it and to see are there ways that maybe we can support each other in moving in the direction that you want to go? In the next episode, this is a two part series, this one. In the next episode, I'm going to talk about how do we do this? Okay, Kari, so I've kind of assessed living the life I crave and where I'm at right now, but now what? What do I do? How do I look at this so that I can continue to create the life that I crave and live the life that I crave? So I hope that you're going to join me for the next episode, where we're going to unpack more of the tangible steps and strategies that you can do to move towards this. I'll see you there.
Kari Lotzien: [00:21:19] Please know that this podcast is meant for entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitution for medical or professional mental health advice. If you require support, please do reach out. Thanks so much.
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The topic today is hitting burnout in your business. Iâm not exploring burnout itself, but more accurately some of the causes and stressors in our businesses that lead to burnout. I was walking my dog earlier, thrilled that I can now have light and temperate weather after 5:00, and it got me thinking about seasons and how they affect us. There are seasons and rhythms in everything, even in business, and working with those seasons is what can help us avoid burnout. Explore that with me.
Every business has a different rhythm and flow. The first months of the year are extremely busy for accountants but summer is extremely busy for wedding planners. We all know what times of year our business blossoms and fills out and when we feel more of a lull. That rhythm, if we donât plan for it, leads to a lot of stress. Itâs not the busyness of business that causes burnout, itâs the unpredictability. Thatâs what I want to focus on: how can we prepare for the busyness ahead of time so we avoid the last-minute stress of the sudden demands?
If we follow the natural seasons and rhythms of our bodies, we sleep better, we function better, we are more productive. Itâs the same with businesses. If we prepare for the seasons and rhythms of our business, we can market well ahead of time and get clients set up early for the busy time. And conversely, we can plan holidays for quiet times instead of stressing over that slowdown. How do we manage the unpredictability and make our businesses run more smoothly? How do we avoid busyness burnout? Iâm going to talk about that so we can start planning for efficiency now.
Key Moments
01:31 Different industries have different rhythms and seasons
04:40 Why we shouldnât just âseize the dayâ and grind early, but work with our personal rhythms.
06:20 What do customers need in each season of our business?
We have the power to request change in our work so that we can align our rhythmsWe need to assess and understand the natural seasons and flow of our businessLast-minute demands and rollercoaster emotions, when not accounted for, can cause burnout__
Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:
Website: BeTheAnchor.caFacebook: BeTheAnchorLtdInstagram: BeTheAnchor.caLinkedin: Be-The-Anchor-Ltd__
Transcript:
Kari Lotzien: [00:00:01] Welcome to Be the Anchor, the podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach Kari Lotzien. When the seas of life get stormy, and they always will, it is not up to us to captain anyone else's ship or to try to calm the waters of the ocean. It's up to us to set our own destination for what we really want, and to learn how to navigate those waves of life together while finding that place of security and stability with others. I call this being an anchor.
Kari Lotzien: [00:00:37] Hello my friends. I'm so glad you're here. I just got back from taking my dog for a walk, and I got to tell you, it was so nice to be able to get outside and not have to put on my winter coat and boots and mitt and toque to try and stay warm as I bear down in winter weather to take the dog outside. We are coming into spring. I feel like it's breathing new life into me, that I could take my dog out and enjoy the sun on my face. I am enjoying the longer days when we have daylight past 5:00 at night. It just feels amazing. And this got me to thinking about how we think about seasons and rhythms in business. And more specifically, today, I want to talk about how we can utilize seasons and rhythms to really help avoid burnout. Now I work with clients from all different industries, and what I notice is that every single industry has a rhythm and a season to it on an annual basis. So if you're in the tourism or the hospitality industry, you might find that your busy season is in the summertime when people are planning vacations and they're out and about.
Kari Lotzien: [00:01:54] Or maybe you are selling recreational vehicles or boats, and that's something that people are really looking to use in the summertime. Or a lot of my business professionals are in year-end accounting, financial planning, tax preparation, all of those good things. And this is their really busy time of year where they're putting in long hours and they're just really nose to the grindstone and getting things done. Construction is another one that tends to operate in the busy times between the spring and the fall, and slows down in the winter. So the first thing that I want to just acknowledge is that every business has a rhythm that generally aligns with seasons. You'll have busy times and slow times throughout the year. But now what I want you to do is think about how does this align with your personal rhythms? Are you like me that your energy just gets slow in the wintertime? That when the sun sets at 5:00, all you want to do is go to sleep or, you know, eat warm comfort foods, but that your creative energy just isn't really there? But then maybe in the summertime, you find that that's when it comes back for you, that that's when you have more energy to take on new projects, or to come up with new ideas, or to explore new things in your business.
Kari Lotzien: [00:03:17] When we consciously consider how these two forms of energy connect with each other, I think this is the secret to really helping us to avoid burnout long-term, because when we can align our personal energy and set ourselves up so that we have systems in place so that things work well and smoothly with our business rhythms, I think this is how we optimize what I call a flow state, where we feel like things are easy, we don't feel like we are doing the hardest type of work that requires the most focus, where we're having to be really social and have a high level of energy when our personal rhythms are in a lower state. We know what that feels like, where it's like we're just trying to push through the tough times and where it's like pushing water uphill, right? We just feel like we're not getting ahead. When you think about circadian rhythms, daily rhythms, are you the type of person that you're more of a morning person? You wake up, you're ready to go, that's your best focus, that's where you really get things done. Or maybe you're more of a night owl. Maybe you're someone that wants everyone else leaves the office, or when you've got time, when it's just quiet and dark, that's where you're really able to focus in and do your best work. I think the big thing is I hear and I read a lot of business books that say, you need to get up at 5 a.m., you need to be awake before everyone else, start your day, do the focus tasks first and get those out of the way.
Kari Lotzien: [00:04:54] So you've heard, you know, eat the frog, do the hard thing, seize the day. I don't think that's how it works for a lot of us. I think that when we think about our natural rhythms, there are people that absolutely are early birds that love to do that kind of work in the morning, and there are others that enjoy a slower start. I have shifted. I used to be someone that used to do my best work late, late at night. I would quite often open my laptop at 830 at night and work for 2 or 3 hours well into the late hours, and I would get amazing work done. But it was way harder for me to focus in the mornings. That was a time when I was really distractable. As I've gotten older, that's actually shifted for me. So you might notice that maybe it's shifted for you too. Maybe you used to be more of a morning person, and now it maybe takes you a little bit longer and you don't do kind of your best-focused work or socializing or running meetings, maybe until later in the morning. Give yourself permission. And instead of saying, well, this is what I have to do because this is what's on the schedule and this is how things operate here, just ask yourself, do you have the power to maybe change, or to request that meetings are scheduled at a different time, or maybe even a different day of the week, when you don't have as many things popping up on your schedule and your energy and your focus is better.
Kari Lotzien: [00:06:20] The next is think about your clients, your customers, the people who are buying what you need. The next element of this is I want to make your business run more smoothly, and when it runs more smoothly, you have more consistent cash flow, you know kind of what's coming up, you know what's expected. So I want you to think of your customers in terms of kind of three different seasons. So I want you to think in your business with your customers, what is their immediate need? What are the things that they're looking for right now? Where are their pain points right now? What do they really want right now? They want you to solve that problem for them yesterday. These types of purchases tend to be impulse-type buys. They're things that someone sees exactly what they're looking for, a quick solution to their problem, and they will make that purchase or get that service immediately. So you want to have some of those things on your schedule where when you're doing your marketing, when you're setting up your plans, that you are attracting those, what do people need? What do my customers need right now, and am I set up to provide that?
[00:07:42] Gillian is an incredible entrepreneur who is going through a time of scaling her very successful business. When she offered to record a testimonial about her experience with the Anchored Leadership Academy to go on my podcast, I was so honored. Have a listen to what she had to say. My name is Gillian and I just finished the Anchored Leadership program with Kari Lotzien. I'm a financial planner. I've owned a practice for eight years and I'd hit a space of exponential growth. Everything was going great, but I always struggled with the management of team, how to hire, how to fire, how to have those yucky conversations. And that was a huge takeaway from the Anchored Leadership, where I got tools and practice as to how to implement those things into my business so I can continue to grow and continue to thrive. It was an exceptional experience that I would highly recommend to any business owner who is looking to push through their discomfort to that next level of success. In the Anchored Leadership Academy, we combine weekly live sessions for one hour that focus on a key area of leadership, and then participants have the ability to work through all of the content in the modules between sessions. This allows a nice balance between accountability for really busy entrepreneurs to keep moving forward with the program and get it done, while also having the ability to flex their time a little bit and make it work for them. An added bonus, all participants get lifetime access to the videos, the audio, all of the resources in the course so you can keep coming back to it again and again when it applies to that specific time in your business. If this sounds like an interesting thing to you, click the link in the show notes, book an inquiry call, and let's see if the Anchored Leadership Academy is right for you at this stage of business. Thanks so much. Back to the show.
Kari Lotzien: [00:09:44] So those immediate needs tend to be last-minute bookings. They tend to be those quick phone calls of things that people just need right away. So do you have those products and services available? Do you have inventory in stock so that you can provide that service quickly and efficiently? Do you have space? Do you allow space in your schedule so that you know that certain days of the week, maybe those are the times where people are consistently calling and they want that last-minute appointment, or they're wondering if they can just get squeezed in.
Kari Lotzien: [00:10:16] Do you allot for that in your schedule? Because you want to get raving fans, and one of the ways we get raving fans is by being able to satisfy the need of the customer right away. But I don't want you to feel like you have that stressor that you want to provide what your customer or client wants, but you've already overbooked your day and you haven't allowed space for that impulse buy or that quick purchase. To allow this to work with your rhythms and to prevent that burnout and that feeling of overwhelm, you want to allow space in your schedule for that. The next thing is I want you to think one season out. So if you're listening to this podcast episode at the beginning of April, I want you to start thinking about July. I want you to think about your client, your customer right now. What might they be doing, what might they be looking for in July? And I want you to gently start to talk to those clients who come in on that last-minute appointment about what's happening in July. And what you want to do is you're kind of gently guiding them towards another opportunity to do business with you or to come back. So, for example, maybe you have someone who right now in their business is trying to do their financial planning, they're doing their tax preparation, they're trying to do their year-end, and things feel really chaotic.
Kari Lotzien: [00:11:49] And you know that in the summertime, well, that's when they really want to take a break and they want to get away on holidays and they just want to kind of get away from it all. You might plan that before they go on holidays, maybe you're going to do a quick review meeting with them so that you can go through their tax planning early so that it doesn't feel as overwhelming for you when they're coming into their next tax season. So you might just think about, you know, doing their quarterly appointments. Are they set up for, you know, their corporate tax preparation in that next quarter? So you're just trying to kind of get ahead of it a little bit. And again, you're planting those seeds with your customers. You're maybe asking them if they want to make an appointment ahead of time. You know, so things like maybe you're in the event industry and right now maybe isn't the time that your clients are, you know, really thinking about booking their holidays or getting ahead of it. But you know that when July hits and things are really, really busy, then maybe that's when things start to really be pushed. If you already have an existing relationship with that customer, you can be calling them ahead of time and see if you can kind of get them ahead of the curve so that your busyness becomes more predictable. If you know it's coming, are there some clients that you can maybe book in a little bit earlier or get ahead with? So now again, it starts to become more predictable.
Kari Lotzien: [00:13:17] The last thing is one of the things that we're seeing in business right now, I don't necessarily know why, if it's that as we've come out of these last few years post-pandemic, I feel like there's more and more people who are more cautious with their spending right now. And I am seeing this with my clients amongst almost every industry where they're saying, you know what, things are just a little bit slower this year, where we're just not seeing the spending that we were maybe in years past. What we know is that more of your clients, more of your customers are going to need to feel nurtured. So I want you to also be thinking six months out, which might seem like you're getting really ahead of yourself. But the reason why I want you to do this, if you are selling a high-ticket item or someone really has to spend significant money on your product or service, then you need to be thinking at least six months out before they're making that purchase. And I want you to think in terms of your marketing and your systems and your procedures. How are you guiding that customer from where they are right now to making that big purchase with you six months from now, especially if you have a high-ticket item? So what this does for you as well is now you are not relying on those impulse customers who are last minute, who need something yesterday. In that type of a relationship, those people who are making the impulse buys, it tends to be more tension, more high-stress.
Kari Lotzien: [00:14:58] They will make those last-minute decisions, often on price. So this is where we're inclined to lower our price to offer a sale, to give a discount. It's stress-inducing to a business owner and to a business. So you don't want your business to rely on that, because that's where that roller coaster of emotions can really come in. And I think that's what can really contribute to burnout long-term, when we are depending on those last-minute purchases. So I want you to start to think further ahead and really think about what could I be preparing for those customers that I want six months from now? Where am I going to provide education to them in my marketing? How can I be connecting with them or reaching out to them? So when you think about if your busy season or your big purchase item is coming in the fall, I want you to think about how can you be nurturing your clients now to help them develop that trust relationship with you? How can you be educating them so that they get to know you? Can you give them kind of some great advice to help set them up for success? That by the time you launch that big ask or that big release, that they're feeling really trustworthy and they're way more likely to make that bigger purchase.
Kari Lotzien: [00:16:16] Though, when you can plan and predict six months out, now all of a sudden you don't feel at the mercy of your business. You don't feel like you're kind of being caught behind all the time. So I want my event planners, my wedding planners, I want them, and I mean, I know that the busy, busy ones, sometimes they're planning more than a year ahead of time, and they're doing their trade shows, and a lot of their advertising and marketing is being done far, far in advance. But what works beautifully for them is then when they're in the busy season, they already know exactly what the schedule looks like a year in advance. They know what staff they need to help manage that. They know what their revenue is going to look like. Now all of a sudden it becomes very predictable. And it's not the busyness that causes burnout, it's the unpredictability. So when you can align a) your own personal rhythms, when you can know that, yeah, you know what? Business tends to be slower in the winter or this certain time of year tends to be our kind of slower season. And what you find personally is maybe that's when your stress kicks in because, oh, things are slow. We don't have the revenue. Things aren't coming in. This is when my stress kicks in. But maybe that's the perfect time where you can pause, take a holiday, get away, maybe brainstorm some new ideas, do some masterminding, take a training, any sorts of thing like that.
Kari Lotzien: [00:17:53] The ideal time to do that is when you are in a slower place in business. So plan for it. Allow yourself to take a holiday. Step away from the office because like I said, when you expect it, when you know it's coming and you align and plan for it, that this is when you're going to put your feet up for a little bit and catch your breath, now you're ready for when it builds up again. If it's unexpected or you haven't planned for it, that slowdown can also create tension. And again, this is why I take you back to it is not the busyness that causes burnout, it's the unpredictability. Some people burn out when things are slow because they're worrying about where that next client or customer is coming from, and what do they need to do to prepare for it? It's the unpredictability of should I be letting staff go? Should I be cutting my team back? If you knew to expect it, you can plan for it and away you go. So I hope that that was helpful today as you come into the spring season thinking about what this means for you, where your energy is at, and how can you align that with the rhythms and season in your business? I'm going to be talking more about this because I think that there are rhythms to our day, there's rhythms to the week, there are human rhythms that we have in our bodies and in our cycles that we can be utilizing more and more, I think, to offset some of that stress response in our bodies.
Kari Lotzien: [00:19:24] So this is a topic that I'm probably going to keep coming back to, and I'd love to hear your questions and your thoughts. Do you already do things like this in your business? What do you find works really well for you? Or is this something you haven't maybe fully embraced yet and you want to learn more about it? I'd love to hear your thoughts. Let's connect. Again, if you haven't liked and subscribed, please do and I would love for you, the best way to stay connected and to find out what's going on, where I'm going to be, if there are webinars coming up where you can do a deep dive, and we can have conversations together where you can ask your questions, the best place to find out about any and all of that is through my newsletter. So click on the link in the show notes and make sure that you sign up so that you don't miss anything that's going on. Thanks so much for being here. We will see you next time.
Kari Lotzien: [00:20:11] Please know that this podcast is meant for entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitution for medical or professional mental health advice. If you require support, please do reach out. Thanks so much.
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Today Iâm talking about emotional intelligence and why itâs so important for corporations and small businesses alike to invest in. Iâm excited to introduce you to my guest for this conversation, David Cory. David Cory is a leadership development coach, trainer, keynote speaker, and he founded the Emotional Intelligence Training Company. David has worked around the world on the design and delivery of leadership development programs, all of which include emotional intelligence (EQ) assessment, training, and coaching. David is exactly the right person to guide us through a discussion on emotional intelligence.
I love exploring where peopleâs business passion comes from and David is no exception. I asked him how, even though it was more than 26 years ago for him, his passion for teaching and emotional intelligence came to be. David explains his childhood love of teaching everything from outdoor skills to guitar to downhill skiing and how that led him to study education and leadership development. He came into EQ as a focus when he attended a conference from the person who established the publishing company which published the worldâs first scientific assessment for emotional intelligence.
There is an optimal balance, in leadership and management, between getting results and impact on people and that, according to David is where things fall apart for us. We have historically overemphasized the âgetting resultsâ part instead of relationships with people and understanding how to create an attractive workplace culture. David and I talk about how logic still involves an emotional context, where self-regard comes into developing EQ, the lack of relationship training we get in childhood, and how emotional intelligence is a skill that we can learn and donât have to innately be born with. This conversation is so important and David has such brilliant insight to share.
Key Moments
06:04 The trouble with overemphasizing getting results and not examining workplace culture
09:40 Why our evolution towards a greater understanding of connection needs a systematic approach
12:01 This is a skill anyone can learn, itâs not a function of personality
How emotional skills help us combat imposter syndromeWhat is the difference between a transactional interaction and a relationship?How groups and teams can work with David Cory on learning emotional intelligence__
About David Cory:
David Cory is a leadership development coach, trainer, keynote speaker, and consultant known for his expertise in applying the concept of emotional intelligence to individual and organizational performance improvement. With a Mastersâ degree in Adult Education, Professional Certified Coach (PCC) accreditation from the International Coaching Federation (ICF), and âMaster Trainerâ status in emotional intelligence from MHS Inc., David founded The Emotional Intelligence Training Company (EITC) which celebrates its 26th anniversary this year.
David has worked with the most progressive organizations around the world on the design and delivery of leadership development programs, all of which include EQ assessment, EQ training, and EQ coaching as the unique elements that make them cutting-edge. In addition, David has been a keynote speaker at conferences around the world, including the Harvard Medical School, the Cheung Kong Graduate School of Business in Shanghai, and a 7-time keynote speaker at the Asia HR Congress held in Bahrain, Brunei, Singapore, Kuala Lumpur (2x) and twice virtually. David and team are the only ones to have ever created an EI course for an entire nation â the Republic of Botswana in 2013.
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Resources discussed in this episode:
âThe Fearless Organizationâ by Amy C. EdmondsonBe The Anchor Episode 14: Take the Emotion Out of It and Other BS AdviceFree monthly webinars on emotional intelligence: EITC.ca/webinars__
Contact David Cory:
Website: EITrainingCompany.comLinkedInFacebookInstagramContact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:
Website: BeTheAnchor.caFacebook: BeTheAnchorLtdInstagram: BeTheAnchor.caLinkedin: Be-The-Anchor-Ltd__
Transcript:
Kari Lotzien: [00:00:01] Welcome to Be The Anchor, the podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach Kari Lotzien. When the seas of life get stormy, and they always will, it is not up to us to captain anyone else's ship or to try to calm the waters of the ocean. It's up to us to set our own destination for what we really want, and to learn how to navigate those waves of life together while finding that place of security and stability with others. I call this being an anchor.
Kari Lotzien: [00:00:38] Welcome to Be The Anchor, the podcast. I'm so excited to introduce you to my guest today. David Cory is a leadership development coach, trainer, keynote speaker, and consultant known for his expertise in applying the concept of emotional intelligence to individual and organizational performance improvement. With a Master's degree in Adult Education, Professional Certified Coach accreditation from the International Coaching Federation, and Master Trainer Status in Emotional Intelligence from MHS Incorporated, David founded the Emotional Intelligence Training Company, which celebrates its 26th anniversary this year. David has worked with the most progressive organizations around the world on the design and delivery of leadership development programs, all of which include EQ assessment, EQ training, and EQ coaching as the unique elements that make them cutting edge. In addition, David has been a keynote speaker at conferences around the world, including Harvard Medical School, the Graduate School of Business in Shanghai, and a seven time keynote speaker at the Asia HR Conference. David and his team are the only ones who have ever created an EI course for an entire nation, the Republic of Botswana in 2013. Welcome, David. What an amazing bio.
David Cory: [00:02:05] Thank you, Kari. It's great to be here.
Kari Lotzien: [00:02:07] To be in this industry for 26 years, I know that it might feel like you're going back a long ways thinking about what initially got you into this area of interest and kind of what keeps you there. Let's start off with your story.
David Cory: [00:02:23] Sure. Thank you. I've always loved teaching people stuff, ever since I was a little kid I taught stuff. I worked at a summer camp and I taught outdoor skills, I taught horseback riding, and then all through school I taught guitar lessons at a local music store, and you can see some the guitars hanging on the wall behind me, so it's a passion of mine. I taught downhill skiing, both in the Canadian Rockies and over in the German Alps. It was natural that I went into education and so I got a bachelor's degree in education. I thought that schools were not for me. I did not want to work in schools, but rather I became interested in how organizations learn and how they train employees to do certain things. And that interest, if you follow that path, takes you into team effectiveness, leadership development. And so I was teaching leadership development courses with a Master's degree in adult education for a post-secondary institution that had a corporate training department. And I thought it was fascinating that we were teaching these very sophisticated skills, assuming that people had a basic level of personal and interpersonal skills. And of course, as you know, there's a wide variation of personal and interpersonal skills out in the world. Some people have them and they are effective at whatever they choose to do in life, and other people struggle. And I didn't know what to call that or how to understand that until I went to a conference and learned about the concept of emotional intelligence from the person who founded the publishing company which published the world's first scientific assessment for emotional intelligence.
David Cory: [00:04:02] So I learned about what emotional intelligence was at the same time as learning about the assessment for emotional intelligence and immediately thought, this is important, this is going to be big, and immediately partnered with that individual who gave the presentation and his company. And that was 26 years ago. And so I left my job at the post-secondary institution and started this company. We called it the Emotional Intelligence Training Company, not knowing that that's what people were going to type into Google when they learned about emotional intelligence at a conference or in an MBA program, and then they go back to their company and they would think, okay, so we need to get someone in here to tell us about emotional intelligence, what it is, how to develop it, how it can make our leaders more effective, and they would type in emotional intelligence training. And there we were, again, quite by accident, a happy accident. And immediately the calls started coming in in the early 2000s from all over the world. And we've all been traveling ever since.
Kari Lotzien: [00:05:05] Wow. I mean, I had a conversation this morning with someone around SEO, and it sounds like you stumbled into some very brilliant SEO early on. So, I mean...
David Cory: [00:05:16] If you're trying to name your company, name it what people are going to type into a Google search when they're going to go look for you.
Kari Lotzien: [00:05:24] Brilliant. And I mean to have the passion as well, at the same time that you add to it. I mean, what a great startup story.
David Cory: [00:05:31] Yes, in fact.
Kari Lotzien: [00:05:33] And now here you are. Now when you think of when you were first teaching at that post-secondary education, and you saw the value of interpersonal relationships and being self-aware. It sounds like this was a really quick sell, that other big corporations got it really quickly, really easily, they saw the importance of it. Was that truly the way that it was?
David Cory: [00:05:54] Interestingly, Kari, all managers on the planet have to find the optimal balance between getting results and the impact on people. What we overemphasize is the getting results part, which means that managers are scrambling to try to get those results in ways that they know, the ways that they have on hand. And so what you find managers doing in lieu of having proper training in leadership, is what they do is they are hard on people. They have high quotas and targets. They are threatening to people, telling people that if they don't, you know, make their quota, they're going to lose their job. They do ridiculous things like fire the lowest performing person on a monthly basis, like that is absolutely ridiculous. You know, there's really two motivators for us, Kari. One is the carrot and the other is the stick. And we respond much better to the carrot. What's in it for us? How is it going to benefit us? When we know those things and understand those things, then it's much better for creating the kind of workplace culture that people want to work in. So they're attracted to that particular organization that has taken the care and attention to create that kind of an attractive culture. That's where they want to stay. They don't want to leave.
David Cory: [00:07:15] So people have attraction problems and they have retention problems when they don't pay attention to workplace culture. And in order to create workplace culture, they assume that their managers have the personal and interpersonal skills to create that kind of culture, but they don't necessarily. In fact, so much so that the woman who made the concept of psychological safety famous, Amy Edmondson, the Harvard University business professor, she wrote in her book The Fearless Organization that many managers don't have the emotional intelligence to create psychological safety. Now, I'm paraphrasing her because the actual details of that quotation are many managers don't have the emotional intelligence skills to realize when their people are holding back, when their people aren't asking the questions they need to ask. And this is all part of being intelligent about emotions, is understanding that emotions drive everything that we do, and that emotions are far more important in our behavior than we ever thought through much of the 20th century. We always knew that emotions were important, but at the same time, you've also heard let's leave emotions out of it. Let's use cold hard logic on this. The over-focus was on technical skills, again, the results, not on the people.
Kari Lotzien: [00:08:32] You know, I recorded an episode a few times back and it was called 'Leave the Emotion Out of It and Other BS Advice You've been Given for Management', but I think there was some truth to that that, you know, especially back, let's be honest, you've been in this field for a couple of decades and times have changed. That whole corporate philosophy of, you know, it's lonely at the top and you just need to put the pressure on people and rule by fear, that's changed. And have you seen over time that the recognition of the importance of developing emotional intelligence as a skill set, has that become more a popular concept over maybe even the last decade? Have you seen a shift, or do you feel that just more and more companies are getting on the bandwagon?
David Cory: [00:09:18] We have seen evolution in action. We're evolving all the time. And of course, how that happens is that it's not the baby boomers who get to determine how everything goes in an organization. It's all the different generations and the different influences that have happened to them, and the way that we as a species are evolving. And so we are evolving towards a greater awareness of the importance of connection, of being vulnerable, of expressing ourselves emotionally. And so many of the initiatives that are going on in organizations have some relation. What's unfortunate and what doesn't happen as often as it could, is a systematic approach, which is what we bring. A scientific and systematic approach to the development of these critical and important foundational skills, skills that are foundational to human effectiveness. That's what we bring. There's a lot of models out there. Your listeners are probably aware of other approaches or methods with respect to emotional intelligence, but they're often lacking. And the reason is because they don't come from empirical science. When they don't come from empirical science, we recognize it right away. They're missing critical and important elements. One element that is often missing from emotional intelligence models is the way that emotion and logic work together, because what we know is that logic doesn't take place in an emotional vacuum.
David Cory: [00:10:48] It always takes place within an emotional context. So what is the emotional context? Is it one fraught with worry, anxiety, avoidance, fear? Or is it one of calm and confidence and courage and authenticity? So we have to get to that place where people feel comfortable being themselves. And there's a whole lot of discomfort out there, Kari. People who are uncomfortable in their own skin, who don't want to let you know who they really are, don't want you to know what cards they're holding. And all of that prevents us from connection, which is really what we all desire, and we all want is more connection, more realness, more humanity, more of what's genuine. And what we don't want is pretense. But that's what we get, a lot of pretense. People who are pretending to be the kind of manager they think their company wants them to be instead of being themselves, which is much more attractive, far more effective for people.
Kari Lotzien: [00:11:50] I want to circle back. I call it putting a pin. I want to put a pin in a couple of key points that you made, because I want to make sure that people truly understand and absorb the impact of this. So the first thing I want to point out that you talked about in your systematic approach to emotional intelligence is this is not defined by your personality. This is not just a trait that you have. This is a skill that can be taught. So I wanted to make sure that people really hear that, that this isn't just you're hiring... because I think in my work as well, I hear a lot about, well, I just need to hire the right person. Just like any skill set, we can learn, right? When you love teaching and you love training, to recognize that this is a skill set that can be learned, it can be improved over time to make sure that we truly hear that, that even if you don't have it - and I think a lot of my listeners are small business owners who have a dual role in the company where they're the founder and the owner, they're the one that has the passion behind it. They're also trying to manage. And when you talked about that fear that we sometimes see managers putting towards employees, I think we also have a fear as owners sometimes that if we're not kind enough, if we're not, you know, vulnerable enough, if we're not willing to do the work ourselves, there's also a fear that if people don't like us, they'll leave. So I think the flip side of that psychological safety is also, can leaders and managers continue to hold people accountable while finding that balance of being approachable and being warm and compassionate? So I wanted to just--
David Cory: [00:13:34] -- absolutely.
Kari Lotzien: [00:13:34] If you want to add to that. I'm sure you have thoughts.
David Cory: [00:13:37] Absolutely. So the model that we use has five categories of emotional skills. And the categories are all things that everybody knows about. This is self-perception. So you know do you really know yourself? And so we we really encourage people to know themselves. And self-regard is one of the emotional skills within self-perception. And so there are ways that we regard ourselves where we are absolutely our own best champions. And there are ways that we absolutely get in our own way, that everybody's familiar with imposter syndrome. And that's an issue with self-regard, with what we believe to be true about ourselves. And so when we dig down into some of these areas, we can understand people's effectiveness or lack thereof, and we can help improve. Really knowing oneself is the beginning of the journey. And then it's about expressing yourself in ways that are authentic and genuine and honest. Honesty really is the best policy, and we all know when people are being honest with us, and we know when we're being honest with ourselves and when we're being honest with others. And so it's about having those more honest and genuine kinds of conversations with others. It's about being able to have boundaries in our relationships and saying what's okay and not okay in terms of how people treat us and the way that they speak to us, etc. And all of that is part of emotional expression or, sorry, self-expression, rather.
David Cory: [00:15:07] And then there's the whole interpersonal area. There's understanding. Can you imagine, Kari, if we all had courses or classes or lessons on relationships when we were young? Imagine--
Kari Lotzien: [00:15:18] -- oh my gosh--
David Cory: [00:15:19] -- imagine what we could do to the divorce rate and to the separation rate? You know, we don't get systematic lessons in these things. And so this is what we're trying to replace is we're trying to, okay adults, you didn't get this when you were young when you really needed it, we're going to try to give it to you now. So what is a relationship? What makes a relationship meaningful? As everybody knows, a relationship is meaningful when it's characterized by trust, loyalty, commitment, showing up for each other, really being there. And when we don't learn about relationships and we don't know that, we don't know how to improve a damaged relationship and we don't know how to start a relationship. And so really, it's understanding all those kinds of things. And then we have to battle beliefs because there are these traditional beliefs that you don't come to work to make friends, or you don't have relationships with people in the workplace that are not directly work-related. And we say those are not relationships because you're not actually relating with each other, those are transactional interactions. And there's a big difference between a transactional interaction and a relationship. A relationship is when you put some humanity into it and you talk about what's actually going on, how your day really is going. It's not asking how you're doing as a pleasantry, it's asking, how are you doing? Let's just sit for a moment. I really want to know how you're doing because, you know, I noticed this or that, and I'm just, basically you're saying I care about you. I care that things are not okay for you.
David Cory: [00:16:49] And when your manager says that it's extremely powerful. And people say, I don't have the time to do that. We don't have the time for a lot of things, but we make the time for the things that are important. And so there is a definite return on investment for making the time to say no, how's it really going? How are you really doing on that project? Is it going well? Are you are you coping okay with everything? What do you need from me? How can I help you and support you in that? When managers learn these things and learn that the employee engagement of their employees are directly determined by how they treat employees, they start thinking, okay, what do we want those employee engagement scores to be? Do I want to cause people to quit and leave? Because we know that people quit and leave companies, not because of the company treated them badly, because companies can't treat people badly. It's individuals within companies. It's managers who treat people badly. That's what they say. They leave bad managers, not bad companies. So again, we can change all this, but it's one person at a time.
Kari Lotzien: [00:17:58] Gillian is an incredible entrepreneur who is going through a time of scaling her very successful business. When she offered to record a testimonial about her experience with the Anchored Leadership Academy to go on my podcast, I was so honored. Have a listen to what she had to say. 'My name is Gillian and I just finished the Anchored Leadership program with Kari Lotzien. I'm a financial planner. I've owned a practice for eight years. And I'd hit a space of exponential growth. Everything was going great, but I always struggled with, um, the management of team, how to hire, how to fire, how to have those yucky conversations. And that was a huge takeaway from the Anchored Leadership, where I got tools and practice as to how to implement those things into my business so I can continue to grow and continue to thrive. It was an exceptional experience that I would highly recommend to any business owner who is looking to push through their discomfort to that next level of success'. In the Anchored Leadership Academy, we combine weekly live sessions for one hour that focus on a key area of leadership, and then participants have the ability to work through all of the content in the modules between sessions. This allows a nice balance between accountability for really busy entrepreneurs to keep moving forward with the program and get it done, while also having the ability to flex their time a little bit and make it work for them. An added bonus: all participants get lifetime access to the videos, the audio, all of the resources in the course so you can keep coming back to it again and again when it applies to that specific time in your business. If this sounds like an interesting thing to you, click the link in the show notes, book an inquiry call, and let's see if the Anchored Leadership Academy is right for you at this stage of business. Thanks so much. Back to the show.
Kari Lotzien: [00:19:59] I often talk to my clients about routines of connection. I think so many companies, and you alluded to being in, you know, our grade school, right, when we were children and that idea that when someone was in a position of authority, whether it was a teacher, a principal, someone who was considered to be in a position of, let's say, management over us as children. We remember the fear, you know, in our cell memory that says you're being called to the principal's office. There is one reason for that. And it means something catastrophic is about to happen, and we carry that with us into our adult lives.
Kari Lotzien: [00:20:38] So then when you have a manager that the first time they call you into their office, your nervous system will automatically assume that you're in trouble, something terrible is about to happen. And when we can reframe that and have routines on a regular basis to connect with our team members and beyond that place of if you have an issue, my door is always open, come talk to me. Right? We can't rely on our employees to say, oh yes, I feel safe going into my manager's office and talking about I'm really confused about this, or I'm just really struggling right now, and sharing that vulnerability when the stage has not been set. The other piece of that is, I wonder how often when people don't feel comfortable, when they aren't able to be themselves at work, when they feel unsure, you talked about beliefs. How many times when we have a model that says we fire the lowest performing employee, but then in the same breath we say, oh, but come to me if you have a question, how many times do we see this uncertainty as incompetence? How often is it mislabeled as someone is not competent in their position, when really the true issue is we have an issue with approachability of the manager to be able to provide the support they need to make this person really successful in the position that they're in.
David Cory: [00:22:06] Absolutely, Kari. And our preference by far is to send a group message to an entire team or division of managers and say, this is the way that we want to interact in the organization versus the other, which is we've got this manager, we can't afford to lose them because of their technical skills, but we can't afford to keep them with the way they treat people, will you work with them? My first question always is, are they open to coaching? And if they're open to coaching, we work with them and we have seen some incredible dramatic turnarounds from people when they see what other people say about them, how other people perceive them. And we use the EQ 360 for that. So the assessment that we use is the Emotional Quotient Inventory, that's the self-report version. We use the EQ 360 for more senior people in organizations, for executive teams. And we'd much prefer to tell the group of people this is a better way. And you talked about setting the stage, and we quote John F Kennedy when he said, the best time to fix a roof is when the sun is shining. So build those relationships when times are good, don't expect that you're going to be able to build that relationship in a time of crisis. You know, when you need someone to stay for the weekend because you've got a critical project, a mission critical project, if you don't already have the relationship and have some investment in that emotional bank account, don't expect that person to be happy about staying for the weekend for you. But if you have made that investment and taken that time and built that relationship, then of course they will understand the need to stay for the weekend if that's what's required.
Kari Lotzien: [00:23:46] And I think, again, I want to pull this back also to the small business owner, you know, who doesn't have an HR department and a lot of middle level managers, because I want my audience to make sure that they hear, no matter if you are in, you know, a large company or you are in a very small company, the principle is the same. That when you have that relationship investment with your small team, when things get hard, and they will, those people will also stay late on a weekend. They will help you. You know, we had a situation in my company years ago where our clinic flooded. And I remember how humbled I was in the moments that the staff were like, what can we do? You know, do you need trucks? Do you need extra hands? What do you, how can we help? And my first instinct was and I actually said out loud, I can't afford to pay you for this. And they were like, oh, that's not why we're here. You know, and that sense that there's actually a reciprocal relationship here. And there were certainly times where, you know, the hours were longer and I definitely was paying for those. But the relationship goes both ways no matter if you're in a really big company or if you're very, very small. Like the same principles apply of self-reflection, boundaries, interpersonal relationships, like it all is the same.
David Cory: [00:25:04] Absolutely, yes.
Kari Lotzien: [00:25:06] I love to hear how systematic the process is, because I think sometimes I want to address this concept of we live in North America, where I think that hustle culture is so ingrained and our performance and results and return on investment. How have you seen the concept of emotional intelligence differ across the globe? I mean, you have been traveling extensively. What have you seen?
David Cory: [00:25:34] What I've seen, Kari, is that how one is emotionally intelligent differs from culture to culture. So, for example, in our culture, we value people who are quite a bit more direct in their conversation and their communication, whereas other cultures, and even starting to learn the language in some parts of the world really point this out, that some languages are context dependent, our language is context independent. So in a high context culture, they use very few words and everybody knows what the intended meaning is by the context, whereas that's not the case for us. And so they perceive us as to be a bit aggressive and overbearing and too direct. And so if we're trying to connect, we need to understand more about their culture and have some empathy for the differences, and then try to meet in the middle somewhere. We frequently encounter challenges and difficulties based on this lack of attempt to understand each other.
Kari Lotzien: [00:26:38] You talked about in our culture, it's context independent and in other cultures, language is context dependent. Can you give me an example, like do the actual words change?
David Cory: [00:26:47] Absolutely, absolutely.
Kari Lotzien: [00:26:49] The words themselves change?
David Cory: [00:26:51] In Mandarin if you wanted to ask someone if they'd like something to eat, you simply say, eat something. In our culture, it's would you like something to eat? So you can see that we use a whole lot more words. And so you can imagine the two cultures trying to connect and in one culture viewing the other as a bit verbose, overly dominant, taking up a lot of space with the words that we use with our, in some cases, our big personalities as well. So again, it's really understanding cultural differences. So the 15 emotional skills that we measure are the same and help us to understand human effectiveness all over the world. It's just the extent to which those different emotional skills are used and the way that they're used, the actual behavior between people is going to differ from culture to culture. So it's important to understand more about the culture that you're in.
Kari Lotzien: [00:27:47] What you've explained is that even though the cultural norms change, the system doesn't. The system works no matter where you are. It's a matter of how aware are you? Are you self reflecting on how much space you're taking up in the room? And are you addressing the contextual element of where you are? Part of what I heard in your example was, even though in our North American culture we tend to take up more space, use more words, I still think that concept of being able to acknowledge when we can use silence, when we can speak less, is such a skill set that I think we still need to develop. And I'll be perfectly honest with you, I'm still working on that one.
David Cory: [00:28:36] We're all working on all of these skills, Kari, all the time, and it's a journey. And it's one of the reasons that we don't ask questions is because we think that we should know and we can't know everything, and so we have to make it more comfortable. We have to make it more common and usual for people to ask questions. Schooling did not help us. We frequently learn that there's only one right answer to every question and if you don't get that one right answer, you're wrong. And that's a shame. And then we get people into the workplace after their years of schooling and we say, okay, now we're going to get innovative. So what are all your great creative ideas? And nobody has any. And it's like, well, because they don't know what the right answer is. And they're, and so we have to get to this level of expression where we just express ourselves instead of worrying about whether it's right, worrying about whether it's wrong, worrying about what people are going to think of us, etc., because all these things come up for us because of our culture.
Kari Lotzien: [00:29:39] David, I can talk to you forever. I feel like I have just tapped such a small, such a miniscule amount of your knowledge and your experience. And, you know, I hope very sincerely that this conversation continues, and I really hope that it will. I want to make sure, before we wrap up today, that people know, how can they find you if they are curious about how do I do this self-assessment? Where do I start? Where's the best place to find you?
David Cory: [00:30:07] Yeah, the best place, the easiest thing to remember is EITC.ca. We are very easy to find, type in emotional intelligence training and we come up, it's the Emotional Intelligence Training Company. And we would love to tell people more about how they can take the self-assessment and learn more about themselves. It's the kind of assessment that is where a review of results is required. So there's an expense obviously. And so happy to let people know more about what's involved there. Best is when everybody on a team or in a group takes the online assessment prior to a group session, and we do a review of results virtually with them before we get together as a group, either virtually or in person. And then we talk about the importance of these various emotional skills to the workplace and to creating the kind of a workplace culture that everyone wants to be in, where everyone feels supported and safe and like they belong and where they want to stay.
Kari Lotzien: [00:31:02] This is what I want my audience to hear from that. So the link will be in the show notes. Make sure you just can click on that and you can find David easily. But what I hear is that this is not a one and done. It's not that you take a quiz and then you find out, oh, here's where I land and here's how it will be forever. You are really with these companies every step of the way, not only to address where we are now, but where we want to be and how we can get there together. And I just, I love your outline of that. As we wrap up today, just one final question. I always like to ask my guests, how do you stay anchored? How do you find that place of calm and stability in yourself?
David Cory: [00:31:42] That's a great question, Kari. And my answer is music. I look forward to getting through my workday so that I can play those guitars behind me and write music, perform in various places. And that is my passion. And that's how I stay grounded and connected. The work that we do is important. Our work grounds us and connects us where we're helping people, not just in their workdays, but in their entire lives. They are better parents, husbands, fathers, sisters, brothers, daughters, sons as a result. They're more connected to their communities, their families, and themselves through the work that we do. And you're right, it's not a one and done. It's a never ending job of increasing self awareness and increasing intention.
Kari Lotzien: [00:32:29] Thank you so much. And hearing you speak just about your passion and how what you're doing, we talk about finding our why, and I mean, not only did you find it, but you've held on to it for decades. And to feel the impact that you're having in the world when you talk about, you know, you're a better friend, you're a better community member. This is what lights me up. I get really excited about business because I think this is our impact. I think schools have the ability to change how children are perceived and how we come into those years. I believe that it is business that does it in our adult years, and we want to appreciate the power that we hold, and this is such an integral part. So I wanted to just finish by saying, thank you so much for sharing your your wisdom with us today in just such a powerful way.
David Cory: [00:33:18] My pleasure, Kari. Thank you. Anytime.
Kari Lotzien: [00:33:21] Thank you. Make sure to click on the link, reach out, find David, connect with him, and follow along on his social media platforms as well. We're going to share those links in the show notes. Thanks so much for being here. We'll see you next week.
Kari Lotzien: [00:33:35] Please know that this podcast is meant for entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitution for medical or professional mental health advice. If you require support, please do reach out. Thanks so much.
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Iâm sharing about a topic that is near and dear to my heart today, friends. Iâm talking about my solid, long-term, committed relationship with procrastination. Thatâs right. Maybe this is something you can all identify with which is why I want to address it and shed some light on it. What is procrastination? Why do we do it? When does it show up? I have many questions about my procrastination so Iâve organized my thoughts into something I can share with you that just might resonate.
Of course, the first thing I did was look up the definition of procrastination because I love research and learning. Oxford said itâs just the act of not doing something. I prefer the Britannica definition, which is to be slow or late about doing something that should be done, to delay doing something until a later time because you do not want to do it, or because you are lazy, etc.. This helped clarify my thoughts about how I define procrastination and what I think it means for those of us in business. I think itâs something slightly different.
In this episode, Iâm going to define what I think procrastination is and why it happens to us when it does. There are three main reasons I think we procrastinate and none of those reasons are laziness. Iâm also going to tell you about the names Iâve given to my different styles of procrastination. Not all procrastination is the same or comes from the same place. Ultimately we each need to examine our own tendencies to procrastinate and understand where it comes from and how it shows up. Once we can identify where it starts, we can begin to create plans for dealing with it so we can achieve our goals. Letâs get into it.
Key Moments
03:45 What is procrastination? The three things I think define it.
10:08 How procrastination shows up and pulls our focus from what we should be doing
16:46: So what do we do about procrastination? I have some thoughts.
What is âprocrastisupportâ and why is it a type of martyrdom associated with procrastination?The timeline of when procrastination appears matters to how we cope with itWhy learning to ask for help and having supports in place are important steps__
Resources mentioned in this episode:
WINTER PROGRAM ANCHORED LEADERSHIP ACADEMY__
Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:
Website: BeTheAnchor.caFacebook: BeTheAnchorLtdInstagram: BeTheAnchor.caLinkedin: Be-The-Anchor-Ltd__
Transcript:
Kari Lotzien: [00:00:01] Welcome to Be the Anchor, the podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach Kari Lotzien. When the seas of life get stormy, and they always will, it is not up to us to captain anyone else's ship or to try to calm the waters of the ocean. It's up to us to set our own destination for what we really want, and to learn how to navigate those waves of life together while finding that place of security and stability with others. I call this being an anchor.
Kari Lotzien: [00:00:37] Hello my friends. I am so glad you're here. Today I am sharing with you a topic that is near and dear to my heart. And I have to tell you with a bit of honesty, I'm tired of myself right now. I have a solid, long-term, committed relationship with procrastination, and I wanted to share a couple of thoughts about that today because I thought maybe you do too. Now, I looked up the definition of procrastination. So there's a couple different definitions. I didn't like the Oxford one that just said it's the act of not doing something, but Britannica, the definition of procrastinate is to be slow or late about doing something that should be done, to delay doing something until a later time because you do not want to do it, or because you are lazy, etc.. And I thought, um, that doesn't really fit for me, because in most situations when I'm procrastinating, it's not because I don't want to do it or because I'm lazy. And I don't think this is true of a lot of people. So I think it's a topic worth diving into.
Kari Lotzien: [00:01:53] What is procrastination then? So I agree that it's that idea that we're putting something off, that we know we need to do it, many times these things have a deadline or they have an importance to them. Things like taxes, big projects, things that we want to start, the book we want to write, all of those great intentions. But then something happens and we just keep pushing it back, pushing it back, pushing it back. Now here's the part that I don't agree with when it comes to Britannica. I don't think it's because we're lazy, I really don't, and I'll tell you that there have been times in my life where I might have called something procrastination, but it wasn't the right term. I think sometimes when we have a really big idea, a really big project - so maybe you're going to launch a course, maybe you have a new business idea, maybe you want to write that book - so it's a really big thing, I think there are times where it looks like procrastination, but it's actually marinating. Where we're sitting with an idea and we're just kind of letting it come into our thoughts, our ideas, and we're just swimming around in it. And then when we give ourselves a deadline or we've sold the product, we've made the commitment, we have something that has a due date, that it pushes all of that soupy marination kind of stuff into a plan, and it starts to have a more linear flow and then we actually get the thing done. But I think there's a piece of procrastination where we're not actually taking action on something, but there's this beautiful spot where we do want to marinate with an idea. We don't want to rush something, we want to take our time with it and let it kind of unfold. I think there's a magic to that.
Kari Lotzien: [00:03:45] So the first thing I want to talk about is just what is procrastination? Why is it happening? Is it more of a marination or is there something else going on? Now, I'm going to be honest with you. I'm at a stage where this week, this past couple of weeks, my procrastination is not at that marination, beautiful stage where it's moving me forward and it's allowing me to just sit with my creativity. There's something else, and I think it's now coming with irritation. And this is where I wanted to dig a little bit deeper with you today and really talk about that, because when I come back to, okay, what's really going on here, and I dig into this. When procrastination shows up and you find yourself delaying or putting off things that you know you should do that are connected, especially to those big goals. So if it was something around your New Year's resolution or something you wanted to do in your business this year, you were connected. You were motivated to that bigger idea. As I have been, I've got some big things that I'm launching right now that I'm really excited about and I do believe in. But I'm in my own way right now and it's annoying me. The first thing that I acknowledge is that one of the biggest reasons for me is fear. I tend to be one who has a very active imagination and can always anticipate the worst possible scenario in a lot of different situations. Anxiety and I are close. We've been close for a long time, and if you need to know 92 things that could go wrong in any different situation, I can probably tell you what they are. The fear of being vulnerable, putting that idea out there, creating a course, launching a podcast, writing a book, sharing your ideas, that's a really vulnerable experience. And any time I think that we get close to letting go of something that we've held close or that feels personal, there's an immense amount of fear. And I think we have the fear of it not being as great as we thought it was going to be. We have the fear of being rejected or ridiculed or judged for our idea that it just didn't land the way that we wanted it to.
Kari Lotzien: [00:05:57] And I think there's a fear of rejection because, not that we're not courageous enough, not that we're not brave enough, not that we're not badass enough. it's simply because what other people think matters. And if you're in a service-based business, people buying your service or product matters. Feeling connected and aligned with others is part of what you want. So I think the fear is real, but in this situation we want to look at it. Is the fear preventing us from taking the action that we need to, to even be able to assess whether or not the idea is valid? If you shut yourself down and fear stops you in your tracks and you never release the idea, you never tell anyone about it, you're never going to get to the point where you know if it was good or not, because your fear was like a guard at the door that didn't allow you to actually put it out there. So I think by just acknowledging it and looking at it and going, okay, this is fear, but it's fear that's actually not based in reality. It's not based on any sort of data. I'm just stuck. I'm in my own head. And to get through that, we need to kind of force ourselves to take some level of action to get some data to find out, okay, is this fear valid?
Kari Lotzien: [00:07:15] The next. I think being uncertain creates procrastination. Let's be honest, sometimes we just don't know what to do next. We don't know what the next right step is, and it can feel a little bit daunting. Or we feel like we're really on unstable ground because we just don't know what are the things to do in the right order? And I think this comes up in business so many times you want to launch a new product or you want to offer a new service and you don't know, well, should I focus on my website? Should I focus on social media? Should I be doing a newsletter? Should I be doing a promotion or a sale? How do I get my word out there so that people know what I'm doing? Should I be doing a collaboration? Like there's so many different options. I think sometimes just the uncertainty of not knowing what to do or what to do when can get in our way. And every time that you listen to a new person or give a new opinion, they'll have a different idea about what you should do. So I think sometimes it's just, okay, what could I do next? And how does that feel? Does that feel like it would get me closer to my goal, or does it feel like maybe I'm playing a little bit too small? Does it feel like, well, that doesn't really feel connected with where I want to go? It feels like maybe I'm actually going backwards? So I think just asking yourself that question, am I just feeling uncertain and I don't know where to go and what could help me take that first step or the next step?
Kari Lotzien: [00:08:43] Third. I think procrastination can show up when we have a lack of knowledge, when we feel like we just don't know what to do. And this is different than uncertainty, because I think uncertainty is we know what all of our options are, we just don't know which one is the right one, and we don't feel necessarily confident or ready to make the decision. I think lack of knowledge comes in when we truly don't know how to do something. We don't know how to run a Facebook ad. We don't know how to record a podcast. I know for myself, lack of knowledge has been a really key piece when it comes to tech. I will get completely wrapped up in trying to choose the right platform. Or should I be using this font or that font for social media? And what about colors? And I get so tied up in, I just don't know how to do all of these things, I don't know how to set up automations and funnels and all this kind of stuff, and it can sometimes paralyze me because I don't know how to do it. So tech is a big one that kind of just gets in the way. So I think those are the three of just knowing why is this showing up? Is this fear? Is it uncertainty which I think is different than fear? Or is it just a lack of knowledge? I don't have what I need to, to be able to move this project forward.
Kari Lotzien: [00:10:07] So we talked about why. Now I want to talk about how. So I think the procrastination shows up in different ways for different people. For me, I've actually created some new words around this of how procrastination shows up, because it is a sneaky little thing. It shows up in little ways that you will feel like you're making progress, but you're actually not progressing on the things that are important or that you need to do. So my three words: "procrastilearning". This is my like probably number one favorite way to procrastinate. I say, oh, I don't know enough yet. I should take another course, listen to another podcast, read another book. Sometimes I even think I should go get another degree, pursue another university program. It gets in my way where I think, oh, I just don't have all of the information yet. Procrastilearning. And the way that I know that I've got here is because I have a lot of ideas. I'm ready to get going, and sometimes I'll even start and then one little thing will trip me up.
Kari Lotzien: [00:11:13] I'll see something on social media, a podcast will come through my feed, and I'll think, oh, I don't know about that. And next thing I know, I'm down a rabbit hole thinking about, oh, I just need to do one more thing. I need to get one more certification. I need to learn one more piece of this puzzle. This is tricky because the world of learning is so accessible right now, you can go on Google and within a minute you can be signed up for a university program at Harvard. You can go on and listen to a podcast, download a course. Learning is just so available right now, and I love learning. It's one of the things that I do for fun. It's something I do in my business all the time, so I can trick myself into thinking it's actually moving me forward. But so many times I'm relearning the same thing, it's just packaged in a different box, right? So people are saying the same things over and over and over again, they're just saying it in a little bit of a different way. But when I really checked myself, that type of procrastilearning is not moving me forward towards my goals and getting my courses out and doing the thing that I know I need to do.
Kari Lotzien: [00:12:23] The next one. "Procrastitasks". So procrastitasks are those little tasks that make us feel busy because we're good at them. We are checking boxes off our list and we get that little dopamine hit because our body is like, oh yeah, we're getting things done. But when you really look at it, you're getting the things done that a) maybe you shouldn't be doing. You could easily outsource those things, automate those things, but they're keeping you feeling like you're actually getting the sense of accomplishment or you're moving things forward. So we are checking things off the list. Now, I'm going to be really honest with you. I had to call myself out on this because when procrastitasks come into my day, all kinds of things annoy me. All of a sudden, I feel like this is the day that I absolutely have to clean out the little cup on the washing machine to make sure that I've really scrubbed all of the extra dishwashing detergent out of there. Or suddenly I'll feel that, oh my goodness, I really need to clean out the fridge or the pantry is driving me nuts. These are things that when I'm actually progressing on something, don't bother me. But when I'm in this stage where I'm almost looking for things to do, all of a sudden these things cannot be left and they need my full attention and they will drive me crazy and they pull me off course. And you know, you'll have your own definition of what those procrastitasks look like for you.
Kari Lotzien: [00:13:52] And I'll tell you today, consciously, my dishes are sitting in the sink, my floor needs to be swept. And I had to say to myself, eye on the prize. You need to go sit in your office and do your podcast. You need to get it recorded. You need to be marketing your Anchored Leadership Academy program. You need to be getting things out there. Like, I had to have this like, bossy conversation with myself to say, listen, if I was paying someone to do the jobs that are on your list currently and they were spending their time washing dishes and sweeping the floor, you would be angry with them. So get your butt doing what it needs to be doing. Now, I'd love to say that I actually listened. I did make banana bread. Because you know what would happen in the world if the bananas stayed on the counter for another day and I wasn't able to make banana bread. So I did digress for a little bit, made the banana bread, which also gave me that like warm comfort food that then when I had the next conversation with myself about like, you really need to get this done, I felt like it helped. Okay, so procrastitask.
Kari Lotzien: [00:14:58] The third. And this is a tricky one because we are kind people who care about others, and we like to help and we like to support. But there's this sticky little area that I call "procrastisupport". And the way this shows up for me is the message I tell myself is everybody else needs me. That, you know, the kids are sick and you need to stay home with them and you need to make them chicken soup or oh, someone from your team asks, hey, can you help me with this thing? I'm not really sure how to do this. And you feel like you're pulled in that direction. And then a friend calls and they decide, oh, I would really like to meet you for lunch. I'm, you know, having kind of a rough week. Any chance you could help me out? Procrastisupport says, I can't do the things that are really important to me - I really am, I am focused on these goals - I really need to get them done but so many other people depend on me that I just don't have time. And sneaky, sneaky secret, my friends. I hear this all the time. All the time from my clients is everyone else needs me, so my goals get put in the back seat. They get put on the back burner because I don't have time. And when you really sit with yourself and you get real, you know the difference. You know when you are getting in your own way and it's a message that you're telling yourself that says this isn't real, it's procrastination. It's just showing up in a way that makes me feel like I'm a kind, caring person and that everyone else needs me. But it kind of shows up as martyrdom, where I'm so important that all of these other things are in there.
Kari Lotzien: [00:16:46] Okay, so now what do we do about it? I think, number one, you need to expect it. You need to know, okay, when is this showing up? I know for myself, procrastination for me tends to show up towards the end of one of my projects. So I will do all the content, I'll record the video, I'll write the newsletter, I'll do the social media post. It shows up for me at the very end when I go to pull the trigger. When I go to release it or put it out there, this is when I'll get in my own way. And so many things don't ever get released. And I think that there's a lot of people out there. You might be one of them. Do you have like, great ideas that you have like developed a whole business plan or you've created a product or service? Maybe you've recorded a bunch of podcast episodes that are sitting in a Google Drive folder that never went anywhere. I think there's a lot of times where it's pulling the trigger. It's the last little piece of vulnerability. For me, it's the fear of putting something out there that will actually stop me in my tracks and take me right back to getting nothing done. So I'll get something to like the little wheel is almost 90% closed and I just don't close the gap and get it finished. So one of the ways that I know procrastination is coming, and I know it's going to show up in a really fierce way, right at the end.
Kari Lotzien: [00:18:11] Now for you, maybe for you, it shows up at the very beginning. Maybe it's hard for you to get started on that big project. Maybe for you it's completely different and it's a matter of the task just feels so big, it kind of feels insurmountable. And if you're a great dreamer or a really good visionary, you can take a seed of an idea and then imagine it as a multi-million dollar project and where it goes and all of the exciting pieces that it holds. And then it gets really overwhelming really fast. So for you, it might be that when you expect procrastination, it's at the beginning, that you just don't get started. So when you know that that's when it shows up for you, and then the second step is to plan, okay, how am I going to deal with it at that beginning stage? So maybe for you, if you're a great visionary, you're a dreamer that can really think of big things, maybe the way that you deal with procrastination at the beginning is by breaking your goals down into really small steps to say, okay, what do I just need to do first? What's the first very small step that I can take towards this bigger goal? And maybe could I connect with someone or have an accountability partner, or do something that allows me to just get started?
Kari Lotzien: [00:19:24] For me, I outsource someone to actually pull the trigger for me. So I do all the content, I write it, and then my VA's job is to schedule the post going out. She does the last stage of the marketing, so it actually gets out into the world. My podcast producer is the one that actually launches these episodes. That puts them on the platform, because I know after I've recorded it and I just, I need to let it go only into a folder, and then they take it from there, because I know the closer it gets to launch date, the more likely I am to pull back and get in my own way again. So I outsource the last stage because I know it's coming, I know when it's coming, and then I plan through just that phase.
[00:20:13] Gillian is an incredible entrepreneur who is going through a time of scaling her very successful business. When she offered to record a testimonial about her experience with the Anchored Leadership Academy to go on my podcast, I was so honored. Have a listen to what she had to say. My name is Gillian and I just finished the Anchored Leadership Program with Kari Lotzien. I'm a financial planner. I've owned a practice for eight years and I'd hit a space of exponential growth. Everything was going great, but I always struggled with the management of team, how to hire, how to fire, how to have those yucky conversations. And that was a huge takeaway from the Anchored Leadership, where I got tools and practice as to how to implement those things into my business so I can continue to grow and continue to thrive. It was an exceptional experience that I would highly recommend to any business owner who is looking to push through their discomfort to that next level of success. In the Anchored Leadership Academy, we combine weekly live sessions for one hour that focus on a key area of leadership, and then participants have the ability to work through all of the content in the modules between sessions. This allows a nice balance between accountability for really busy entrepreneurs to keep moving forward with the program and get it done, while also having the ability to flex their time a little bit and make it work for them. An added bonus: all participants get lifetime access to the videos, the audio, all of the resources in the course so you can keep coming back to it again and again when it applies to that specific time in your business. If this sounds like an interesting thing to you, click the link in the show notes, book an inquiry call, and let's see if the Anchored Leadership Academy is right for you at this stage of business. Thanks so much. Back to the show.
Kari Lotzien: [00:22:13] Now the next step, if you're procrastitasks, you got to know. Like you just have to ask yourself, put on your list, what are the small tasks that you do that are getting you closer to your goal? And if you get off track a little bit, maybe for you it works really well to do like a time audit. So at the end of your week, you assess what are the things that I've done during the week? What are the tasks that I accomplished that are getting me closer to that big goal that I set? So if it's something health related, say, how many times this week did I walk? How many times this week did I stretch? How many times this week did I go to the gym? How often did I actually get my water in? Or did I drink a pot of coffee every day before noon? And then I had a headache and I wasn't able to go to the gym.
Kari Lotzien: [00:22:56] So you can do it both ways. One, you plan your tasks ahead of time and say, these are all the things I need to do to get going, but the other is to bookend at the end of your week and say, okay, what actually got my time? What actually got my attention? And then you retrofit it to say, are these the things that are getting me closer to my goal? So then when you're checking things off your list, you see that connection to this was my priority, this was my goal, and you start to create that circle around it. This can also again help you find those gaps to say, okay, where am I getting in my own way, and where is the exact space and time that I need support to get over that little speed bump of procrastination to keep me moving forward?
Kari Lotzien: [00:23:40] And then the last spot,that really sticky one is that procrastisupport. Everybody else needs me. I have so many demands on my time. I'm so busy, I just don't have time. And this is where you need to have a really serious conversation with yourself. So notice again what's coming up for you that is making you feel like someone else needs you, or that their goals are more important, or that you're needed somewhere else. Your kids, your spouse, your partner, your team members, your friends, whoever it is. And then say to yourself, okay, how am I going to manage this when it shows up? So if someone says to me, hey, can you go for lunch next Tuesday, you're going to say, I'm not taking lunches next week because that puts me off my goal. So I'm just going to say, oh, I can meet, but it'll have to be after 5:00 or it'll have to be on the weekend. If my kid's needing help with their homework, it's okay for me to say, sweetheart, can't help you right now. Give me half hour. I'm doing my stuff that's really important for me. And then I'll come and I'll help you in a half hour. Or is there someone else that might be able to take that over? Is there someone else that can make the meal this week? Can you order out? Is there another way? Can another parent help drive your kids or drop them off or take them to an event? There are supports available, and sometimes, especially if we lean towards that martyrdom a little bit, we feel like we have to do it all.
Kari Lotzien: [00:25:08] Learning to ask for help and to admit that, you know what if I've got this big goal, it needs to get my time and attention, this is something that can really kind of trip us up. So I want you to just have supports to say, okay, when this happens, here's how I'm going to manage it. And just trying to squeeze more in or I'll try to do it faster, or I'll try to multitask, or I'll just take my laptop with me while I'm waiting for my kid at dance class, and then I can get those few emails done, well, often that doesn't happen. So you need to kind of protect yourself from yourself and have open conversations with people around how they may be able to support you, especially if you're one of those people that just gets a lot of pride out of supporting others. Give them a chance to help you back so that you can move these big goals forward.
Kari Lotzien: [00:25:56] Okay my friends. That was my episode for today around procrastination. A) why it shows up. Two, how it shows up in those procrastitasks, the procrastilearning, and the procrastisupport. And then three, a few ideas on how you might overcome it to really move things forward for the things that are important to you. This podcast is all about creating the life that you crave. It's about bringing your visions, your dreams into your reality. And when your dreams are big, when you have things in your mind and in your heart that you want to move forward, I think it is part of the human condition that procrastination is going to show up. It is going to be at your door because any time that I think the universe gives us an idea that's going to move our life forward, I truly believe that if it was too easy, we wouldn't appreciate it as much. So I think it has to show up with a certain amount of resistance procrastination that we battle through. And I think it gives the message back that we're willing to work for this, that it's important enough to us that we're willing to put in our part, that we're willing to do the work that it takes, to give it the hustle to push through things that are easy. I think sometimes the world of manifestation, abundance, affirmations, they trick us into thinking that we just need to visualize what we want on the other side, and that the path will be easy and that if it's not, it means we're doing something wrong. I don't think that's the case. I think when we have these visions, these ideas that come to us, I think we have to meet them halfway and be able to do the work. I do think it becomes easier when we do it and we push through, but I don't think it's super easy.
Kari Lotzien: [00:27:51] So I'd love to hear your thoughts. If you have ideas that I did not address around how you manage procrastination and how you get over those tricky humps, or how it shows up for you in maybe a different way, and it's not the procrastilearning, or the procrastitasks, or the procrastisupport, maybe you have another one, drop into my DMs, let me know, or hop into my email inbox. I'd love to hear from you because this is a common topic, my friends. I'm so glad you're here. I'm so glad you're listening. And I invite you to like, subscribe to the podcast, take a screenshot, share it with your friends and anyone who is maybe getting in the way of their own dreams. Thanks so much for being here. I'll see you next week.
Kari Lotzien: [00:28:34] Please know that this podcast is meant for entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitution for medical or professional mental health advice. If you require support, please do reach out. Thanks so much.
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Today is an exciting episode because I get to introduce you to a brilliant woman I know youâll be glad you listened to. Her name is Kim Kiel and sheâs a brand voice expert, copy coach, and founder of the boutique copywriting agency Kim Kiel Copy. What Kim has is a true talent for capturing a clientâs voice and writing elegant and persuasive copy. Today she shares insight on how to write great copy and how it can forge connections with your client base.
When we talk about copywriting, Kim first differentiates between âcopywritingâ and âcopyrightingâ. Copy refers to the words we use to sell our products or services. And a copywriter is someone who writes that copy. Kim came to copywriting through studying environmental science with a minor in communications and then working in fundraising for the nonprofit sector. She likes applying her skills to something that benefits others. Eventually, she translated that talent for writing into her own business so her abilities could assist other business owners in sharing their unique talents with a wider circle of people.
Our discussion covers so much life-changing insight. Kim reflects on why itâs important to move away from strictly formal writing into something more casual that can build a connection. She talks about how to think about what a brand voice is, how to find yours, how to get past overthinking what to write, and why great copy, like so much in business, is about forging relationships. There is so much about Kimâs advice that touches and inspires me because she gets to the heart of what small business is about. She understands why womenâs voices, in particular, need to be heard and how to say what weâre thinking.
Key Moments
01:54 What is copy and what does it do?
06:22 Why Kim believes sales is actually about service and connection
07:58 How to find your brand voice
Assess how you speak in person and want to be heard in writingHow can we make our message stand out among 4000 other marketing messages?Why copywriting prompts are so useful in getting your message out__
About Kim Kiel:
Kim is a mom of 2 Fortnight experts and wife to a gentleman who is her biggest cheerleader. Through the pandemic, they tried to become the worldâs best family of ping-pong players (and failed).
For 15+ years, Kim has used words to build community, create social change and raise millions for charities and small businesses.
Today, she primarily works with mission-driven businesses and female consultants, coaches and changemakers. Her true purpose is amplifying the voices of female leaders and changemakers so they can achieve more impact (and revenue) and still have time to travel, hang out with the kiddos, or get cozy with BrenĂ© Brownâs newest book. Kim has a knack for instantly capturing her clients' voices.
When combined with customer research, persuasion and sales psychology, the result is elegant copy thatâs clear, delightful and conversion-optimized.
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Resources discussed in this episode:
WINTER PROGRAM ANCHORED LEADERSHIP ACADEMYKim Kiel Brand Voice workbookKim Kiel writing prompts__
Contact Kim Kiel:
Website: KimKiel.comPodcast: Ill CommunicationLinkedInInstagramContact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:
Website: BeTheAnchor.caFacebook: BeTheAnchorLtdInstagram: BeTheAnchor.caLinkedin: Be-The-Anchor-Ltd__
Transcript:
Kari Lotzien: [00:00:01] Welcome to Be The Anchor, the podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach Kari Lotzien. When the seas of life get stormy, and they always will, it is not up to us to captain anyone else's ship or to try to calm the waters of the ocean. It's up to us to set our own destination for what we really want, and to learn how to navigate those waves of life together while finding that place of security and stability with others. I call this being an anchor.
Kari Lotzien: [00:00:37] Welcome. I'm so glad you're here. I want to introduce you to a brilliant woman this week. Her name is Kim Kiel. She is a brand voice expert, copy coach, and founder of the boutique copywriting agency Kim Kiel Copy. With 17 plus years of writing multi six figure campaigns for small businesses and nonprofits, Kim helps Gen X entrepreneurs and experts share their gifts and positive impact with the world. She has a knack for instantly capturing a client's voice and writing elegantly persuasive copy. When she's not nerding out on sales psychology in her home of Edmonton, Alberta, you can find her tromping through the Canadian wilderness with her kids or continuing her quest to find her favorite whiskey. To find out more about Kim and copywriting, tune in to her podcast, Ill Communication, on your favorite player or at www.KimKiel.com/podcast. Welcome, Kim. I'm so glad to have you.
Kim Kiel: [00:01:35] Hey, Kari. Glad to be here.
Kari Lotzien: [00:01:38] All right. So I want to start off by just dispelling any myths, because I often get asked when I refer to copy, people ask me what is copy anyway? Can you give us kind of just our layman's version? What is copy?
Kim Kiel: [00:01:54] Copy is the words you write to sell, promote or market your business. A lot of times people hear the word copywriting and they think of the term copyright as in like trademarking. And that's completely different. Copywriting is spelled with a W in the middle there, and it is about the words we write to sell our services. It comes from the advertising world. If you think of what the guys in Mad Men did, they were writing copy and copy just refers to the words that are selling a product.
Kari Lotzien: [00:02:28] All right. That just simplifies it so much. Like we tend to overcomplicate things, don't we?
Kim Kiel: [00:02:33] Yeah.
Kari Lotzien: [00:02:33] So how did you get to this career? What got you here?
Kim Kiel: [00:02:37] A long and winding road, as most of us in our entrepreneurship journeys travel. I have a degree in science and communications. I studied environmental science. I was on a mission to save the planet. And way back then, I realized that we are never going to solve the climate crisis and the environmental problems if we can't talk about them in a way that would make people understand what the heck is going on. And when I studied environmental science at university, I was only required to take a half a year of English or communication, like half a year in the full four years, which I thought was ludicrous. So I actually got special permission to do a minor or specialization in communications, and that really allowed me to get more into interpersonal communications, nonfiction writing, writing in general, and every career and job I had after graduation involved some kind of public outreach, education, communication. Eventually it got into fundraising, because I worked a lot in the nonprofit sector, and I got into fundraising, and I really enjoyed fundraising because I was able to write in a way that was very, very persuasive. But for something so mission driven, like, you know, protecting the arts or protecting the environment and learning how to walk that balance of encouraging someone to connect with their heart and then open their wallet, it was really fun to write that kind of copy. Flash forward to when I had a couple of little kids, I was in my mid 40s and just tired of that grind of commuting day in, day out and juggling child care like it's just, it's just a mess. That phase of life is just a mess. And I needed to change things up. So I actually quote/unquote quit my day job and I started work as a freelancer/consultant/subcontractor, and I was able to turn this love of fundraising into becoming a copywriter. So a lot of the similarities between writing fundraising copy are very similar to how you write advertising copy, how you write sales copy, the techniques are the same. And so once I sort of explored this whole online business world, I discovered this field of copywriting, and I knew it would be, I'd be able to transfer my skills and that's basically what I've done.
Kari Lotzien: [00:05:10] You said something that really got my interest, and I want to kind of circle back to it, because I think as many of us who went into small business, we did it because we had a passion for the service or what we believed in, like you found with environmental science. And I think when we hear the word marketing and advertising, I think there's this myth out there that says, well, we're trying to convince people to spend money on things they don't need. And what I just heard in your description is it wasn't about that at all for you. It was about, let's make this thing that is so important, like climate change and fundraising and things that need our attention and our dollars, that it's not about trying to sell something to people that they don't need. It's about really helping them understand more about what we believe in and why it's important, and creating a sense of connection. And that, it feels to me almost like the opposite of what I would believe the traditional path of marketing and advertising is. It's really about connection. That's what I heard as you kind of describe that.
Kim Kiel: [00:06:22] I have a fundamental belief that all sales is service, and the way we buy from each other is through relationship and through connection. So whether you are a charity looking for people to join your mission or you're a business owner who is helping other business owners elevate their CEO business skills, that is a service and that is helping create a ripple effect and impact in that person's life. And then what is the impact that those people are making in their communities? What difference is that making? So for me, it's really all about connection, relationship, and that's at the very, very beginning of any kind of a sales conversation.
Kari Lotzien: [00:07:06] Love it. Which kind of guides me to my next thought about so if you're working for all of these different companies who have different passion, different services, different things that they're selling, I think one of your - I'm going to say your super skills - like your talent, is being able to help people identify their brand voice. Can you talk to us a little bit more about what is a brand voice, first off, and how is it different than, you know, kind of a sales voice and how does it differentiate between different businesses and different industries?
Kim Kiel: [00:07:41] That is a great question, but I think the question before it is, why is it so hard for us to talk about ourselves? Why is it so hard for us to quote/unquote, market or promote ourselves? And it's because we don't know how to trust our own voice. We don't know how to tap into our voice. And especially for people who are, you know, over 40, we have been trained on a certain kind of business writing that is very formal, very boring, and we look in this online sphere and the examples that we see are either like, hey there, buy this, click here, like really fast, super slick marketing language or we see like people drop an F bombs and like being real bad, you know, just like swearing, or we see really cutesy like the young influencer girl kind of like girlboss vibe, and if we don't see ourselves in any of that kind of voice, we will think like, there's no place for me. Nobody wants to hear my voice. But the opposite is true. We need to hear everyone's unique voice. And so your brand voice is the unique personality that you have. It is your verbal identity. So in the same way that when you have a business, you probably work with a designer to create a logo, to have font color, or colors and font styles, you know what your brand looks like, but what does your brand sound like? And a lot of us don't spend enough time thinking about that. But if you just spend a little bit of time, you can actually distill out and work through like, what is my brand voice? What are my values? How do I want to show up in the world? How do I want to talk? And I think at the very, very basis of it all is just write the way that you talk. So the same way that you and I are having a conversation right now would be very similar to if I was going to actually write out a dialogue. That's how it would sound. So how would you explain verbally to someone? When you're on a sales call what do you say? How do you say it? Those are the words and the tone and the conversation that you should use in your emails, on your website, in some of your marketing materials. So that in a nutshell is what brand voice is.
Kari Lotzien: [00:10:03] I am a big reader of your newsletter, and every time I read your newsletter, I can hear your voice. I can hear your tone, I can hear your expressions, I can hear your humor. And I think when you say like, write like you speak, and a lot of us Gen Xers, you know, we weren't taught to do that. If anything, you know, when we were writing for school or we were writing for a project or a university assignment, our goal was to not sound like ourselves. We wanted to sound way smarter. And, you know, like we had so many more things going on. And which I think brings us to the idea of jargon and how often we will write for what we think people want to hear, and we want to sound intelligent, or we want to sound a certain way, and when it doesn't match, or we just end up confusing our audience completely. So when you're working with, let's say a new client - so I always like to kind of get a little bit of the back story - when you're working with a new client and maybe you're reading their newsletters or you're reading their website copy and you're giving reviews, what are some of the biggest mistakes that you see, particularly Gen X making, in those types of formats? Like what are you seeing?
Kim Kiel: [00:11:20] I mean, I think you touched on it, that use of jargon and sort of being really formal in the language is the two things that really pop out to me. So we might say things and it comes to us so naturally because especially we have been working, we've been in careers for 20 years. So we have this depth of experience, this breadth of knowledge, and it's almost like the curse of knowledge because we'll think it's so obvious. Like, well, I want to help empower you to find the solutions in your life. That's what we might write, right? Especially if you're in a coaching sphere. But what does that even mean? What does empowering me to, you know, boost my life? Nobody has ever really said that. Like, your clients and customers don't talk that way. So it's that sense of jargon. But it's also that formality, because we have been writing for two decades in that very traditional business environment. It's things like how we might invite the next step might be I would be very delighted to book a call with you so at your first convenience, click here. Like that's not how you talk. If you're saying this to a girlfriend, you would say, hey, you want to hang out? Great, let's find a time to chat. So it's just thinking of your audience as that friend. How would you talk to that friend, and how do you make it personal and connect? And if you're kind of not sure if you're hitting the right tone, read it out loud. Do you actually talk that way? And would you say it like that if you were meeting someone, just, you know, in the checkout at the grocery store? That's a really good gauge for whether you're trending a bit too formal and could back off on the formality a little bit.
Kari Lotzien: [00:13:07] Would you say that's the case as well, in more of a professional setting? Like I think when people are thinking, oh, well, I'm reaching out to corporate or I'm reaching out to another business owner, do we still lean to the side of being more casual?
Kim Kiel: [00:13:23] I think you do. I think there is a fine line. If you're B2B and you're working with other corporations, we have a belief that we need to drop all this jargon and show that we know what we're talking about. But the reality is, the person who is reading that email, who is reading that pitch, who is reading your website, it's a human being. And humans connect human to human. And we are hit by 4000 marketing messages per day. So the simpler, the more concise, the more direct, and the more enjoyable you can make your writing, the more likely you are to have more conversions, have more sales, and even there's a bunch of studies that prove that's true.
Kari Lotzien: [00:14:11] Earlier on, you talked about, you know, your image, your pictures, what your colors are, your font, all of that. And I think this idea of vulnerability, of showing up that you don't have, you know, such filtered images and that you're not completely put together when you're on camera and that you're shooting videos or reels kind of on the fly. Is this the same? I feel like there's a real parallel universe here with it's not just about your pictures, it's not just about your Instagram stories, it's also about your writing that don't always write with such a formal approach that people feel like you're existing in a different dimension that they are, that you're just connecting with them as human beings, as people, even though they might have a really fancy title or a really big job.
Kim Kiel: [00:15:02] You know what? I hadn't thought about it that way before, but I think you're right in that the content that's converting right now, online, visually is the behind the scenes, it's the more casual, personal stuff. And I think that there's a place for that as well in your writing for sure.
Kari Lotzien: [00:15:21] I think it, for me, feels more approachable, a little bit more down to earth, I guess.
Kim Kiel: [00:15:27] Again, we are buying human to human, even if I'm making a decision for my corporation or for my team, I am still going to be making a purchase decision from a human to a human. And that ability to connect makes it easier for me to know, like, and trust you, and then feel safe to make that purchase. Also, how are you going to stand out in this sea of competitors? How are you going to stand out in these 4000 marketing messages per day if it's not with your unique spin, your values and your voice? If you are very safe and bland and vanilla, you are not going to stand out. Nobody is going to pay attention to that message. So putting your unique voice in there, your little quirks, your little isms, dropping a GIF from maybe your favorite TV show. If you watched the SuperBowl on the weekend, like referencing things that are happening in everyone's day to day really helps create that personal human connection.
Kari Lotzien: [00:16:29] I think, too, one of the things that you do exceptionally well, whether it's the little GIF or you always add what I would say is like this little punctuation of joy to your emails, like it's always just a fun little thing, or, hey, I was thinking about this, or hey, I found a new recipe for, you know, a nonalcoholic cocktail that you can enjoy on the patio. Like you always have this just little element of surprise or something that we didn't expect, which just gives us a little bit of delight. And I love that. And I think that's how, that's how I know that I was drawn to you way back when is you would include these things about being a Gen X entrepreneur and some of the strange things that we've experienced through, you know, the 80s and 90s and what that was like. And instantly, although it had nothing really to do formally with copywriting or what I was looking for, all of a sudden I had that experience of, you know, she also was a great fan of hip hop in the 90s and, you know, or really also enjoys Schitt's Creek, right? And can enjoy the humor in that. And I think it does, it gives that kind of a more personal touch. And we just do, we feel this instant connection. So yeah, thank you for sharing that.
Kim Kiel: [00:17:39] Oh, thanks for saying that. I think what you've also brought up there touches on something else. A lot of people say, I don't know how to start an email list because I won't be consistent. What will I talk about? How will I know what to share? How can I keep up with that? And it is, it doesn't always have to be educational. You don't always have to be talking about your area of expertise. You can infuse some of those moments of delight and joy and behind the scenes of like your favorite recipe or a movie you just watched, or a book that you read and or a trip you took with your kids. Because again, that is furthering that know, like, and trust journey with you. So even if you're not in a direct moment of asking someone to buy from you or invest in your services, they're coming along, they're coming closer and they're warmer, so that when you do have a sales moment, they're ready to buy.
Kari Lotzien: [00:18:35] Absolutely. So the next thing I wanted to chat a little bit about is one of the things that you alluded to it when you said, you know, I don't know if I want to start an email list because I have to stay consistent. And we've heard so much about that, whether it's social media and newsletter, that we have to stay connected to our audience. But I think the most popular thing that people say is, I sit down to write and then I just don't know what to write, or I don't know how to put it all together. Like sometimes I get an idea in my own head, I'll write a sentence, and then it just doesn't really seem to unfold the way I think it should. Do you have some tips or tricks? If we are doing this copywriting for ourselves what do we do when we just get so stuck?
Kim Kiel: [00:19:25] I mean, even for a quote/unquote professional copywriter like myself, like I get stuck with that too. And I have learned over time to sort of trust those little ideas or inspiration that pop in and to act on them right away. So that is something that has worked for me, is if I get an idea, oh, that might make a good email or oh, that might make a good social post. I don't talk myself out of it. I don't edit myself. I just sit down and write it out and without overthinking or over correcting or being too perfectionistic, then I just send it. So I've had to really just train myself to get that information out as fast as I can, because I have the ability to talk myself out of stuff all the time and to be very slow. If you are sort of like, oh, I know I should say something, but I don't know how to say it, I really love a couple of things that have helped me get out of that, like stuckness, and one is a writing prompt, and these are just little formulas for something that, to inspire you, it's like a journal prompt like, oh, what should you write in your journal today? Same thing. You can have writing prompts that give you an idea for what you should write about that week, or in your next email or in your social post. And it may or may not be the thing you actually end up writing about, but it might inspire that further idea. So using writing prompts, there is no shame in using a writing prompt to inspire your next email. And I love using also copywriting formulas. And copywriting formulas are these little recipes that were developed over the last several decades, primarily in the advertising industry, but you can use them to help organize your thoughts on the page. So there's a couple of copywriting formulas, I can share a couple of them, if you think you want me to share those with you?
Kari Lotzien: [00:21:28] I think my audience would love that.
Kim Kiel: [00:21:30] Sure. So it would be if you're going to sit down and write an announcement email, you're going to talk about a workshop that you're going to be hosting in the next couple of weeks. A great formula for that is AIDA: Attention, Interest, Desire, Action. So the start, the first sentence of your email, you want to grab attention, you want to hook your reader. You want to say something provocative or like very exciting. Then the next few sentences you're going to generate interest about what that offer is. Then the next section is you're building desire for the outcomes of what's going to happen at that workshop. And then the final section is action. That's where you give your call to action. You say, click here to register. There's limited seats, buy now. So it's just being able to organize that, all that mess of words that we have in our head, into that sort of sequential order that I think really helps create a bit of constraint. And within that constraint, you can actually be more creative and write clearer, more compelling copy because you're sticking to that formula. There's several other copywriting formulas. I share lots of them on my podcast. So you're welcome to to go back and check those out as well.
Kari Lotzien: [00:22:54] Gillian is an incredible entrepreneur who is going through a time of scaling her very successful business. When she offered to record a testimonial about her experience with the Anchored Leadership Academy to go on my podcast, I was so honored. Have a listen to what she had to say. 'My name is Gillian and I just finished the anchored Leadership program with Kari Lotzien. I'm a financial planner. I've owned a practice for eight years and I'd hit a space of exponential growth. Everything was going great, but I always struggled with the management of team, how to hire, how to fire, how to have those yucky conversations. And that was a huge takeaway from the Anchored Leadership, where I got tools and practice as to how to implement those things into my business so I can continue to grow and continue to thrive. It was an exceptional experience that I would highly recommend to any business owner who is looking to push through their discomfort to that next level of success.' In the Anchored Leadership Academy, we combine weekly live sessions for one hour that focus on a key area of leadership, and then participants have the ability to work through all of the content in the modules between sessions. This allows a nice balance between accountability for really busy entrepreneurs to keep moving forward with the program and get it done, while also having the ability to flex their time a little bit and make it work for them. An added bonus: all participants get lifetime access to the videos, the audio, all of the resources in the course so you can keep coming back to it again and again when it applies to that specific time in your business. If this sounds like an interesting thing to you, click the link in the show notes, book an inquiry call, and let's see if the Anchored Leadership Academy is right for you at this stage of business. Thanks so much. Back to the show.
Kari Lotzien: [00:24:55] And I want to highlight. Definitely go listen to Kim's podcast. We're going to put the link in the show notes as well. But she is so gracious on her podcast with giving out formulas and sharing these copywriting formulas so that if you're writing your own copy, you can kind of follow the recipe. And I know for myself, it's really one of my kind of bad habits, was I would get so wordy. And I would put too much in an email. Then I went back the other way and I cut out so much that then it didn't make sense anymore and it had no flow. So it's, you know, finding that rhythm. And I think when you talked about, I call it, you know, the muse, that idea of trusting the muse when an idea comes to you, I kind of, you know, a little woo-woo, I feel like ideas are like floating around in the universe and when they come to you, it's a gift. They're stopping in, seeing if you want to do anything with them, seeing if you want to hang out, and if you move on that idea, then it becomes yours. And you have this collaborative partnership with the idea. But I truly believe if you don't grab on to it, it's like the idea just drifts away and finds someone else's mind to work through. And it sounds like you've really learned over time to appreciate that gift as it comes. Did you always have that or has that gotten easier over time?
Kim Kiel: [00:26:13] It's definitely gotten easier over the time. Easier over the time. When I first started my business, I was like the world's worst copywriter because I didn't practice what I preach. I would write great copy for all my clients, I would give them the strategy, but I didn't have my own email list. I wasn't emailing. Like I was stuck in that same mindset gobbledygook, overthinking that a lot of business owners go through. And when I finally gave myself permission to just write the dang thing, like whatever came to my mind, I'm just going to write it, not overthink it, I was very inconsistent in the beginning. I'd be like, an idea came, I'd send an email. Maybe it would be another couple of weeks before I would send another email. I wasn't consistent, but I felt like I was at least honing in on the quality and developing that muscle. And like anything we do, it takes practice. And the more you practice, the easier it gets, the faster it gets, the better it gets. So that's, I am 100% in agreement with you that ideas come to you for a reason, and it's almost your obligation to share that idea.
Kari Lotzien: [00:27:26] The other thing that kind of just popped out at me is you talked about consistency and how when things first, you know, when you first started doing your email, that you would write it when you had an idea. And I want to take it right back to some of your first points where you said, you know, our role in service is that we are bringing something of value to our audience. It's a relationship. And that as you allow people to get to know you a little bit, they get to know your personality and your humor, and we're going to call that a brand voice. But really, it's just like we're getting to know each other, which is a relationship. And if the only time you ever show up in someone's inbox is when you need something, it's like the friend who the only time they ever show up at your door is when they want to borrow your lawn mower. Right? It's kind of rude. And that by just kind of consistently showing up, even if it's kind of a, hey, I was thinking about you email, or hey, I saw a cool movie yesterday, or hey, what did you think about the SuperBowl? What it does is it creates that sense of continuity, that there's that relationship, that we don't just connect when we have something to sell or when we have something that we need, but we're really building that relationship.
Kim Kiel: [00:28:38] I think it's underappreciated how important that is to building your business, because it's not about ads and funnels and landing pages. It's about the people that you do business with on a 1 to 1 basis, especially for a lot of us who run smaller boutique businesses, agencies or small small businesses, like we're never going to be on the level of like a Marie Forleo or an Amy Porterfield. We're never going to have millions of followers. So what is our secret sauce? Well, we are the secret sauce. It's that creating that personal connection and then that personal transformation and being of service to those people. And I mean, aren't you sick of just hearing the same old voices all the time, Kari? Like, wouldn't you love to hear more wisdom from women? We've raised kids, we've helped elder care, we've been in these corporate businesses for 20 years, and now we have something else to contribute to the conversation that hasn't really been heard before. So like my sub-mission is to just hear more voices from women who are in middle stages of life because we are underrepresented, and yet we are the backbone of what is going on in society today.
Kari Lotzien: [00:29:59] Uh, I'm getting emotional, honestly. Because what you're saying is hitting me really hard. I mean, I started my business back when I was in my early 20s. My gosh, didn't have a clue, you know, like, I, every business owner that I saw who was successful was a white male with a lot of money, who had a wife that stayed home and looked after the kids and the family and, you know, just displayed him. I had nothing to follow. And I feel this real sense of responsibility right now that, you know, I'm coming into my daughter is, you know, just coming into her 20s. My son's already 24. And there's this feeling like, hang on a second, the world has changed so much since I was that age. I don't think we've done a lot of favors because I feel like my generation or our generation came in and went, we can own a business, raise the kids, make the muffins for school, volunteer, do the charity work, we're going to do it all. And we created this image that you just put the cape on and keep going. You know, and when you're going to have your breakdown and you're going to have your fall apart moments, you do that in the bathroom away from everyone else, and you put your cape back on, you come out, plant a smile, and away you go again. But I think we learned a lot along the way to go hang on a second. Like, it doesn't have to be like this. And to share it so that women don't look at it and go, I don't want to do what you did, because that really didn't look very fun. Right? It didn't look fun to try and be everything to everyone all the time. But I think that sense of, you know, giving back and being real about it and saying, you know, it doesn't have to be like that. And you talked about, you know, the Amy Porterfields and Jenna Kutcher and these women who have really big audiences. And I think that I feel like you're giving yourself a little bit of disservice by saying, you know, we're never going to have audiences like that, because I know for myself that's that same vulnerability is we're starting to hear that in their voices as well, who do have millions of followers. And I think that there's a real gap in we didn't, you know, I'm having kind of an odd little moment, but do you remember the Secret commercial? 'Never let them see you sweat'? Like that was my mantra for a lot of years. Like, just make it all look good on the outside, right? And I think with this wisdom that comes into our 40s, there's a responsibility to go, no, no, here's how it really is.
Kari Lotzien: [00:32:37] And to share that, I think there's a gap. Like we were so busy trying to say we could do it all that we forgot to say, with help, we can't do it alone, we need to be collaborative, we need to be in relationship. We need to show, you know, some softness and not always try to put on the perfect face. Any other thoughts you want to share about kind of your evolution as a businesswoman, going from being in a charitable organization, and again, I'm going to highlight because this is something I hope you're comfortable with, I think you are, when I hear Kim speak, I often, you know, she says like small boutique. Like she plays small. But I also know that you converted your annual salary to your monthly salary when you went on your own. Like you are not small potatoes, my friend. I don't want us to play small. I want us to really showcase like people like Kim are doing amazing things in the world, and they're doing it their way. And I want to really give credit to that. So when you think of Gen X, women who are in the business who are saying like, oh, I'm just, you know, a small thing, what would be the advice you would have to them in the journey you've traveled in developing yourself as an entrepreneur?
Kim Kiel: [00:34:04] I think part of - thank you for saying that, first of all - but I think that part of what has helped me have a really good amount of success is the fact that I had lived a life before I started my business, and I knew enough of myself. Still don't have it figured all out, but you know, when you're faced with in online business, there's like all these different strategies and you should do it this way and you should do it that way, and you should do it this way. For me to have the presence of mind to sort of pick and choose what I like of those strategies and create my own way forward that might use the best practices from strategy A and the best practices from strategy C, but just to create my own path. So one of the ways that I've really grown my business is through what I call like this like lazy marketing or lazy launching where I'm not trying to like, grow my list by thousands of people at a time. I'm not trying to be the most famous, but what I do want to do is be of service to a small, intimate group of people. And so I've hosted these monthly marketing moments.
Kim Kiel: [00:35:17] I open my virtual doors, I have a workshop, I have a master class, people come and hang out with me, and from there I enroll them into, make an invitation if they want to take it, great. If not, no big deal. But it's just sort of that like more of a low key way of growing my business that has really, really worked for me. The other thing that has really worked for me is getting into the room where my client is. So I've paid to join masterminds, group coaching programs, where I am building personal relationships with the women in that room so that either they will hire me when they need a copywriter, or if they know somebody who needs a copywriter, they're more apt to hire me. So I've been very strategic about joining the right communities for that purpose, also to get the benefit of the coaching experience. But I think particularly when you're a service provider like me, graphic designer, copywriter, we have a tendency to hang out in rooms with other graphic designers and copywriters, and we are all about like learning how to be a better copywriter. And so when I compare my trajectory to some of the other copywriters, I've had some more easy and repeatable success, I think because I've spent time in other rooms where there's other diverse business owners.
Kim Kiel: [00:36:41] So, you know, that networking piece I think has been really important. And when I say that I turned my annual salary into my monthly salary, you know, I was working in nonprofit, I was working part time. So for just a little bit of context, my annual salary wasn't awesome. But when I became a entrepreneur, I was able, you know, when you're working in charity, I don't know if you've ever worked in charity, Kari, but for me, like you become so impassioned about it, you give so much of your time, you work over time and like, I'm so glad I did all of that. But there was no financial ROI for me. Whereas now I can still give that same level of energy, same level of passion, but it's towards revenue generating opportunities that are creating freedom for me as a business owner. So I'm still giving the same passion. I'm still believing that people need to change the world and change the world for the better, but I've just been able to make that a little bit more lucrative for myself.
Kari Lotzien: [00:37:51] Ah, I hear so many loops in that. One, I think that when we find our passion, when we find the thing that we're good at and we align with the right people and we truly provide service and we are financially rewarded for that, it gives us the opportunity as women to give back to the things that we believe in. This is how we create stronger charities and how we change our communities is we can give back. So I think that's something that's really sometimes a great motivator for women who often under-charge what they're worth because they feel that they want to just be affordable and accessible to people. And I think, okay, but if you've, if you've got the knowledge, you've got the experience, you've got the skill set and you charge what you're worth, you can give back in so many bigger ways. That's pretty cool.
Kim Kiel: [00:38:43] And that is such a journey. That is such a mindset leap that I had to make when I left the nonprofit sector into the quote/unquote for profit sector to get over that. Oh, I feel bad about charging. And I know there's a lot of people in the spiritual and healing communities who also have that. Oh, but this, I shouldn't be charging for this because everyone should have access to this. And the way that I've managed to get myself around that is by realizing there are clients who will pay for very good work, and they're willing to pay a good amount for that premium work. And that freedom, that financial freedom allows me to produce a podcast where I am delivering free value. So I am creating opportunities. I do host free workshops where people who maybe can't afford to work with me can still come and learn from me and have that experience. So I am able to do both. But I get paid for my services because I'm worth it.
Kari Lotzien: [00:39:45] Yay! You know, it's so true and I really did, I just wanted to showcase that. And I think, you know, the audience can see you're so generous in so many different ways with your podcast, with your, you know, monthly marketing opportunities, that there's so many ways that people can work with you who may not have the ability to hire a professional copywriter. But getting in the room, the value is there. Like it's beautiful. The other thing I want to point out and just kind of come back to it, is I think networking has also gotten a bad rap because we have been involved in different situations where you go to a marketing event and you feel like you're just being sold to constantly. That's not what marketing is. Marketing or networking, sorry, is building relationships. It's building relationships with people who work with similar clientele that you do, who may know similar opportunities that are available in the field but may not be in competition with you. And sometimes they even are. Like, I've had brilliant referral partnerships with people who are also business and leadership coaches and who do similar things that I do, but they do them for a different group of people, or they work in a different location, or, I mean, there's so many different opportunities.
Kari Lotzien: [00:41:04] And I think what I hear from you over and over and over again, which is interesting because that was not where I thought the conversation was going today, but it's really about how many different ways can we form relationships? How many different ways can we be of service so that if one of your clients needs a service that you don't offer, you have someone that you truly have a relationship with that you believe in, you know they do great work, and you can pass that customer on. It's a win win. The customer feels so supported because they feel like they've been, you know, kind of handed over to someone so gently. And the person that you're doing business with, that you've been involved in these mastermind sessions with, also feels so grateful that you understand their business and you can bring them their ideal customers and we build together. And I think this is something that you do so beautifully. It's something I believe in, in building communities of businesses and clients so that we kind of rise together.
Kim Kiel: [00:42:04] Mhm. I love that. And I think also after the bubble of the pandemic when everyone got online and there was a lot of people putting courses out there and people buying online trainings that didn't deliver. So collectively we are more sophisticated buyers. We have been burned too often. And the way you allow people to know you're the real deal is by building that long term relationship, which is exactly what you just, yeah, just to sort of underscore what you said there.
Kari Lotzien: [00:42:37] So good. I want to wrap up our conversation today by asking, I ask all of my guests, how do you personally stay anchored? So when there's so many things going on in your world, you've got kids, you've got a business, you've got so many things that you believe in and support. You're doing masterminds and learning and growing. How do you find that place of staying centered and calm? What I call anchored.
Kim Kiel: [00:43:04] Well, I would say it's probably something that I could do better. I'm probably not the best at staying anchored. There's a few things that I do love doing. One is I love walking in nature and having that quiet time to commune with my own thoughts, or to just like, chill out in nature. That is so helpful to me. And I also have a squad of business besties who, when I am doubting myself, when I'm suffering from comparison itis when I'm overwhelmed by what's going on in my family life, I can reach out to them and they can either just listen, or they can give me the little bit of cheerleading that I need and remind me, you know, you're pretty awesome at what you're doing. Like keep going. What's the easiest way forward? Like, for example, I was, I'm overthinking this, wanting to maybe host a local event and I'm overthinking it. And then my assistant Hannah was like, what's the easiest way we could do this? Could you just reach out to five people and see if they want to hang out with you and then go from there? And I'm like, well, yes, I could do that. So, you know, just having that, those people around you who get your vibe and who can call you back to that.
Kari Lotzien: [00:44:29] I am taking that for one of my sticky notes. So I have sticky notes that try to keep me on track. But what is the easiest way that you could do this? Like, I can definitely tell you the most complicated, if you'd like to know that, of how I could make things really hard and almost insurmountable. But what a gift. What a gift to have that sense of community. And I'm with you on the nature thing, my friend. That's, we've had such a gift here in Alberta this year that we've had kind of a mild winter, so we haven't had to freeze our faces off when we go outside. So we've had this little bonus. I want to thank you so much for being here and for offering such value to my listeners. I want to encourage everyone. The link will be in the show notes, but definitely go over and find Ill Communication, the podcast where Kim gives away just value every single week when you are feeling stuck and when you're feeling overwhelmed, those writing prompts and those copywriting formulas where you can start to get stronger in your communication so that you can be more consistent in your writing, you can find that voice that connects with people. She is absolutely brilliant. My hope is that I'm just introducing you to someone that I value so much in my own business and in the relationships that we've established, and that you will go on and make those connections and introduce other people to Kim as well, because what she is doing is just of huge value and as you can see, aligns with that sense of building community, supporting each other, supporting Gen X women in business, and continuing that legacy into our next generation so that it doesn't have to be so hard as we keep going with all of this. So thank you so much for being here, Kim. I value your time so much. Thanks so much.
Kim Kiel: [00:46:23] Kari, thanks for having me. And yeah, it's just nice to hang out with you.
Kari Lotzien: [00:46:27] All right. And is there anything else that you want to share? Do you have a marketing masterclass coming up or where would people find that information? Where's the best places to connect with you other than your podcast?
Kim Kiel: [00:46:38] Yeah. You know, the best way to stay connected with me is by subscribing to my newsletter. And you could do that at KimKiel.com/newsletter. I also do have a brand voice workbook and mini audio series. Since we talked quite a bit about brand voice, I'll share the link with you, Kari, and you can put it in the show notes, but that's also a great resource for anyone who's maybe struggling to figure out how to write like myself.
Kari Lotzien: [00:47:09] Fantastic. Thank you so much. I know that my audience will appreciate that. All right. Thank you so much for being here. We will see you next week. And if you haven't liked and subscribed to the podcast, be sure to click on those three little dots. Take a screenshot of this episode, share it with your friends who are also trying to figure out how to write copy for their business and how to build their communities. Thanks so much!
Kari Lotzien: [00:47:32] Please know that this podcast is meant for entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitution for medical or professional mental health advice. If you require support, please do reach out. Thanks so much.
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âHow many times have you said to yourself, I just thought Iâd be further by now?â
Thatâs the question that this episode examines. Maybe you thought youâd be at a different financial stage by now or maybe you imagined youâd have a much larger team. But somehow youâre not feeling that youâre at the place you want to be or getting the results you want to get. Thereâs something important I want you to do when those doubts take hold: pause and realize how much youâve accomplished to get to this point.
I had this question rise for me when I reached my 250th workout. The gym I go to celebrates that, they take a picture and give you a prize, but the first thing I thought when I saw the picture was âI thought Iâd look different by nowâ. As much as I hated having that thought, it happened. But the instructor taking the photo introduced me to the statistics that only 12% of people in Canada have a gym membership and only 1% use the membership to get to where I was that day. I was in an elite group. Now letâs apply that to your business.
Iâll share small business statistics with you that will show you exactly how much youâve accomplished just by still being here, by being in business, by surviving the last four years with your business thriving. And Iâll ask you to pause right during the episode to write down how far youâve come. To combat the feeling that you havenât done enough, you need to give credit to the resilience you have thatâs brought you this far. How much have you overcome? Then ask yourself, what keeps you going? What is it that drives you forward? What do you want to learn to help you progress into the future? These are the things weâll tackle together today.
Key Moments
03:24 Statistics on how many small businesses fail in their first, second, and third years
06:04 How to pause, think about your accomplishments this far, and write them out
15:12 Questions to consider about what keeps you going and what drives you
Consider the statistics on small businesses and how much they contribute to hiring overallHave you found a community, a camaraderie, in a group of people with similar goals?How the Anchored Leadership Program can take you through the next phase: leadership hurdles__
Resources mentioned in this episode:
WINTER PROGRAM ANCHORED LEADERSHIP ACADEMYReference: Stats on how many businesses appear and disappear each yearReference: Small Business Statistics In Canada__
Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:
Website: BeTheAnchor.caFacebook: BeTheAnchorLtdInstagram: BeTheAnchor.caLinkedin: Be-The-Anchor-Ltd__
Transcript:
Kari Lotzien: [00:00:01] Welcome to Be the Anchor, the podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach Kari Lotzien. When the seas of life get stormy, and they always will, it is not up to us to captain anyone else's ship or to try to calm the waters of the ocean. It's up to us to set our own destination for what we really want, and to learn how to navigate those waves of life together while finding that place of security and stability with others. I call this being an anchor.
Kari Lotzien: [00:00:38] Hello my friends. I'm so glad you're here. How many times have you said to yourself, I just thought I'd be further by now? Whether that's related to your business and thinking that you would be at a different stage of revenue by now, or that maybe you would have your team developed to a bigger place by now, or maybe it's related to that New Year's resolution that you made at the beginning of this year and now that we're getting closer to the end of February, you're feeling I just am not seeing the results that I thought I would have. Well, I'm with you, my friends. I just celebrated my 250th workout at my gym, and this is a big deal for a lot of people, that finding a place of consistency and showing up and doing that over an extended period of time.
Kari Lotzien: [00:01:25] But here's the thing. When my gym came to me and they give you a little prize and they take a picture and they do a social media post, at first glance, when I looked at that picture, my immediate thought was, I thought I'd look different by now. Now I'm all about body positivity and I'm all about being self-accepting. And I keep telling myself, you know, it's not about the way I look, it's just that I want to be stronger and I want to age better, and I don't want my joints to hurt, and I want to be able to enjoy my life for many more decades. But that little voice of I thought I'd be farther by now kicked in so fast, and it just immediately made me feel a bit ashamed and less than. But here's what's pretty cool. The instructor that was taking the picture that day, I don't know if she saw it on my face or what came over her, but she looked at me and she said, welcome to the 1%. Pause, and I'm like, what? She said, welcome to the 1%. She said, 12% of people in Canada have a gym membership. 1% actually use them consistently over time and are where you are right now. And that made me step back a bit and go, why are you being so nasty to yourself? Because suddenly I felt like the group of women that I was comparing myself with in that gym, who have also been consistent all the way through, I was comparing myself to a very elite group of people, that these were also the one percenters who were showing up consistently, who were taking control of their health and actually doing the work that it takes to change their health. And this is what I want to apply to your business and your life today.
Kari Lotzien: [00:03:17] Let's dive in. And I wanted to start off, I know you've heard these stats but I want to bring them back to you again. In Canada, which is where I'm living, in 2018, they did a study and 20.6% of businesses failed in their first year. Didn't get past that 365 days of business. This raised to 31% in their second year. And many of us have heard the statistic that 48% of businesses, almost half of businesses, don't make it past their fifth year. Here's another maybe not so great statistic. But between 2015 and 2019, in Canada, just over 100,000 businesses were started and in that same period - so that's 100,000 per year, just over 100,000 per year - and in that same time frame, about just over 90,000 per year disappeared. Now, this might make you feel like, my gosh, why do I even throw my hat in the world of business when it sounds like it's just so hard to succeed? But here's the thing.
Kari Lotzien: [00:04:26] Most of my clients have made it past those first few years in business. You found something that works. You have the grit. You've done the work. Just like me, showing up at the gym on those hard days where I didn't feel like it, where I was tired, where the voice was in my head, where I just didn't want to go anymore, and I thought it would be so much easier. I know that if you have been in business for more than that 365 days, you've thought at least 100 times it would just be easier to go work for someone else, to collect a paycheck, not have all the stress. But you've done it, you faced it, and you have overcome the challenges that most business or that many business owners don't in those first few years. And here's why it's important. Because I can almost hear you telling yourself, well, I'm a small business and I only employ a few people. Like I'm not really all the way into entrepreneur world. I don't have a big corporation with, you know, 700 employees. But here's what is also really interesting to me: did you know that 74%, 74% of Canadian businesses have under ten employees? And small business makes up in hiring 67% of our workforce. This is really important, the work that you're doing in your small business, if you have a couple of employees or you have under ten employees and you're telling yourself that this is really no big deal, I'm kind of a small fish in a big pond. No you're not.
Kari Lotzien: [00:06:04] I want you to just pause and say, if you have made it through that really challenging start up phase of business, if you have found the grit that it takes to have a few employees and to keep going, you have joined an elite group of people who are doing incredible work that is really important in feeding our communities, our overall performance in how we are surviving, how our economy is looking. This is really important work, and I want you to keep going. With a lot of my clients and myself included, I will tell you that high performers are often looking ahead. We're often looking for what's next. What challenge do I need to overcome? What problem do I need to solve? Where do I need to be ahead of the curve? And we're really terrible at pausing and just noticing how far we've come. I want you to take a minute right now, pause this podcast right now, if you're in a place where you can do it, I want you to grab a piece of paper or a journal, and I want you to look back from the time you started, whether this is your business or this is a goal that you set, I want you to talk about when you started, when this thing was just nothing more than a thought in your mind.
Kari Lotzien: [00:07:20] And I want you to list, brain dump, how far you've come. What are all of the things that you have accomplished in that amount of time, whether it's a couple of years or maybe it's a decade? List them out. And ideally, I want you to actually write these down because there is something that happens in the process of taking action. In writing something down it gives it more space in our minds, and it gives it that power to say this is important. We write down things that are important. I want you to write it down. How far have you come? What things have you accomplished since you started this journey? And then I want to go a little bit deeper, because I think that we all know when we start we have a vision, we have the passion, we have the grit, we have all the ideas. And then life happens. It happens to all of us. Whether that is we all of a sudden come up against a financial challenge that is just really hard and we have to really dig in. Maybe you cut into your personal finances to help fund your dream or your business. Maybe there was times where everyone around you was saying, this is crazy, you need to just, you know, admit your losses and move on. Maybe the voice in your own mind was so powerful that you had so much self-doubt and imposter syndrome and just not being sure if this was ever going to work.
Kari Lotzien: [00:08:47] And I think we've all been through that, myself included. There have been so many nights where I would lay awake thinking, am I crazy? Am I being egocentric, thinking that somehow my dream is going to work out? When other people were telling me, when I would look at other businesses struggling and I would think, is this ever going to work? I think about the times where the cash flow was tough, where I would have been making far more money if I was working for someone else. I think of how many things that I overcame when it came to knowledge, just not knowing what I'm even supposed to do and all the things I needed to learn in my business. So the second question I want to give back to you is, what are all of the things that you've overcome? What are the challenges that you faced as you progressed towards your dream? Was that, you know, did you go through a change in your family, a change in your marriage? Did you have kids? Did you move? Did the market change? I want you to list out what are all of the challenges that you faced, that you found a way through, or that you overcame?
Kari Lotzien: [00:09:57] Let's give credit to that. Let's give credit to the grit and the resilience that you have. Again, I think as high performers, we often start thinking ahead and we go, Okay, here's what I'm going to need. Here's the hutzpah that I'm going to need to try and find to move forward through the next challenge that we come up. But we don't sometimes pause and give ourselves credit for what we already went through. And if you are on this planet right now, you've gone through some really big things in the last four years. If your business survived that, that really difficult time in our economy, you are doing amazing things and give yourself credit for the fact that you stuck with it, that you likely pivoted more times than your head knew how to manage, that you felt like you were just spinning around. If you did that, give yourself some serious credit in how you made it through that time. Because there was no guidebook, there was no map to say here's how this could happen. Pause and give yourself some credit. What things have you learned? How have you overcome financial challenges? How did you overcome the naysayers and the doubters and the voices in your own mind that made you doubt? And then what were the situations or the circumstances that you overcame along the way? Pause. Write it down. Give yourself some credit.
Kari Lotzien: [00:11:15] And I would suggest like even set a timer for like five minutes, because the things that come to your mind first are going to be the things on the surface. But when you sit there long enough and you think, oh yeah, but there was also that time where a family member felt ill or fell ill, and I was able to kind of pivot and support them while I was going through this hard time or, oh yeah, there was that time where all of a sudden we needed to pivot and change because we had our team change or somebody moved or something happened. Let yourself kind of sit with it for a little bit and dig a little bit deeper than just what comes to the surface at the beginning.
[00:11:55] Gillian is an incredible entrepreneur who is going through a time of scaling her very successful business. When she offered to record a testimonial about her experience with the Anchored Leadership Academy to go on my podcast, I was so honored. Have a listen to what she had to say. My name is Gillian and I just finished the Anchored Leadership Program with Kari Lotzien. I'm a financial planner. I've owned a practice for eight years and I'd hit a space of exponential growth. Everything was going great, but I always struggled with, um, the management of team, how to hire, how to fire, how to have those yucky conversations. And that was a huge takeaway from the Anchored Leadership, where I got tools and practice as to how to implement those things into my business so I can continue to grow and continue to thrive. It was an exceptional experience that I would highly recommend to any business owner who is looking to push through their discomfort to that next level of success. In the Anchored Leadership Academy, we combine weekly live sessions for one hour that focus on a key area of leadership, and then participants have the ability to work through all of the content in the modules between sessions. This allows a nice balance between accountability for really busy entrepreneurs to keep moving forward with the program and get it done, while also having the ability to flex their time a little bit and make it work for them. An added bonus, all participants get lifetime access to the videos, the audio, all of the resources in the course so you can keep coming back to it again and again when it applies to that specific time in your business. If this sounds like an interesting thing to you, click the link in the show notes, book an inquiry call, and let's see if the Anchored Leadership Academy is right for you at this stage of business. Thanks so much. Back to the show.
Kari Lotzien: [00:13:56] Now I want to ask yourself what keeps you going? You've come through some of these challenges. You have accomplished so much since you started. But now is the time to kind of have a look and go, okay, so what keeps me going? I'll take it back to my experience with the gym. I will tell you that I've come a long way. I've gotten stronger. My knees don't hurt as much. I can do different movements at the gym that I couldn't have even dreamed of doing before. And I overcame a lot. I overcame a lot of self-doubt. I overcame that thought that I'm too old for this, this is for people who are young and strong and healthy, and it's just too difficult. There was times where I was really doing a sprint in my business, and I would've been so easy to make the excuse that, well, that's what needs my attention right now, so I just don't have time for this. And what really keeps me going is the camaraderie, the community. I've met a whole new group of people who are aspiring to live a similar life that I do. They want to also age well and they want to not have pain, and they want to be strong, and they want to be healthy as they move into these next years of their life.
Kari Lotzien: [00:15:11] It's the same in business. Think about what keeps you going right now. Have you found a new place in the business that maybe unfolded a new light for you and just gets you excited? Maybe you've moved into being more of a mentor. Or maybe, like me, your whole business pivoted, and you went from running your own business and being front line and doing all of that, and now you're moving into being more of a coach or a consultant and helping other people to grow and to do the things that you've already done. But you're at the stage, maybe in your life, of giving back and not being maybe as attached to the front line service. Or maybe you found a new market or a new business idea, whatever it is. What keeps you going now? What keeps you in the game? I think the other piece of this is give some credit to what is helping to keep you there. So like I said, with my gym people, a lot of the thing that keeps me there is the people that are there who are like-minded. I want you to give some credit to who have you met along the way that keeps you going? Are your clients or your customers inspiring you to push a little bit harder, or to find a little bit more from you, or from your team, or from your business? Are you pushing boundaries? Are you exploring new opportunities in business because you really want to provide something exceptional for these people that you just really care about? Have you met some people, maybe in different businesses, who are also running small businesses that are inspiration for you, or that you've been able to network or create collaborations with, and you're so appreciative of that opportunity because maybe that was something you didn't see at the beginning when you were just slugging your way through, and that what keeps you going now is recognizing that when we join together, there's just so much more to this. And that when you're feeling a time of doubt or you're uncertain or you don't know how to handle something, maybe now you have a network of people that you can go to and ask questions and build together that you feel really understand you.
Kari Lotzien: [00:17:16] So leaning into that, what keeps you going? What keeps you lit up and your foot on the gas? Because I want to get to the the next stage that just because you've made it to the stage of business where you know that you have something that works, most business startups fail for two reasons. It's so simple. Either they didn't do their market research and they're trying to sell a service or a product that people don't want. There's just not the market for it. Or they're charging too much for something that people don't want to pay that much for or maybe they could even get free somewhere else. Market research is one of the key reasons that small businesses that start don't make it past that first or second year. The second is cash flow. They are in a situation where they're spending more than they're bringing in, and it's just not sustainable. They've maybe funded from their personal accounts to try and get this business off the ground. Because, let's be honest, getting funding for small business is not always easy.
Kari Lotzien: [00:18:17] These are the two things that sink businesses early on. So when I'm thinking of mentoring early business owners, A) I always want them to focus on market research first, and B) I want them to be really cautious of their spending so that they are building on a foundation but it's not gambling. You're not taking a risk with things that are too big that you may not recover from if this doesn't work. I'd rather it be a slow, steady build than a big risk and then potentially a big fall. But now that you're here, you've made it past that spot. You know that people are willing to buy your product or service. You know that you have something sustainable. You can't stop. Because the other, maybe not great statistic that I want to share with you that's really important, is the other major reason that businesses fail. 70% of businesses fail because of poor management. This comes back to us. In those early startup phases, we got grit. We are showing up and often doing all of the jobs in the business, and that taking this next step to scaling your business, to employing people or outsourcing to others to help grow your business and maybe explore new opportunities, requires a different skill set than the one that you had when you started your business. You need to develop the skills of management. You need to know how to delegate well, how to give feedback, how to have a good onboarding or training program so that when you bring people on, it turns into a great investment that you get a return on over time.
Kari Lotzien: [00:19:53] These are skill sets that leaders need to move their business forward, and I think it's something that we often overlook when it comes to moving our business forward past that start up phase. I think sometimes we think that once we've been in it for a few years, that then we'll just hire people to help us and things get easier. I'd love to tell you that. There's one more step. There's one more piece where you got to dig deep and do the grit work so that you can develop the skills of leadership and management. Once you have those skills, that's when it gets easier. But there is one more step that you need to take. Now, this is my passion. I'll tell you that when I started my company and then I built it over 22 years, I hesitated. And I don't think that I moved into developing the skills of leadership and management early enough. I know now it actually hurt my business. We could have grown so much more smoothly and without quite as much turmoil if I would have gotten real with myself and recognized that there was a shift that I needed to make, I needed to shift from being really frontline, customer driven, and really revenue generating in the business, to having at least a dedicated time where I was focusing on supporting my team and building my team and having systems in place to move that forward.
Kari Lotzien: [00:21:16] I've done it, and this is where my passion is right now, in building my coaching programs and working with other small businesses at this stage. It's a really critical piece of the puzzle to make it long term in your business, so that this becomes the flywheel that does get easier. The thing that you're craving right now, that's my tagline: create the life you crave. But you can't take your foot off the gas too early, or you'll lose that momentum. And it's developing a new skill set. You got to do it. I think when you can do it by joining with other business owners who are at the same phase of business that you are, they're facing some of the similar challenges, they're having a hard time maybe letting go of some of the tasks in their business that they're good at or that they enjoy doing. And it's sometimes hard to admit the things that you just don't want to do anymore or that you're really not good at. And maybe you're the bottleneck in the business and you're preventing the growth, just like I was.
Kari Lotzien: [00:22:17] This is where I'm moving towards the Anchored Leadership programing that I've created an incredible program. I'm not going to be shy about this because it really is amazing. I took ten key topics that are critical to becoming an effective leader, so that you don't become the 70% that say, Well, difficulty with management skills was the thing that took my business under after we had overcome this really difficult time of startup, and we made it through those hard pieces, I dropped the ball and I didn't do it. I took ten key parts that are critical. And then I created a group of small business owners, just like you, who are past that initial start up phase, who are looking to develop their leadership skills. I made it a combination because I know you're busy, and I know that it is difficult to find time to do all of this, so I've balanced it out. There's online modules that you work through in your own time, so you have time and space to really apply it to your business and to be flexible about working through the program when the timing is right for you. And then I added in weekly one hour meetings where we get to meet as a group, you get to ask your questions, you get to share your challenges, we get to talk through it together. What I found when we went through this previously is this was the perfect balance. That my participants had freedom to explore those modules on their own, which they also have lifetime access to, so they can come back to those modules around giving feedback, delegating well, hiring and recruiting, how to build a strong team culture, strategic planning.
Kari Lotzien: [00:23:55] They can keep coming back to those again and again, but they also get the support in real time to keep moving through the program. Because let's be real, I know that you have bought leadership books that you never read. You have bought programs that you never completed. This program, I've set it up so that it's not like that for you. You can work through it in your own time and have the support to move through it together, and to get really good accountability during the time that we're together. The next module, the next cohort, is starting March 7th. I don't want you to miss it. If this feels right for you, just click on the link, book an inquiry call, we can chat through it together to see is this the right fit and is this the right time for you? And I'm going to be really honest. I don't want you to waste money on programs that you don't have time for, or are not a good fit for the stage of business that you're in right now. I will be very honest with you. If it's not the right time and you need to maybe do a couple of things in your business before you're ready, I will tell you, I promise. I will not talk you into something that I don't think is a good fit. But the feedback that has come from the people who were the right fit and who really invested and did the work in the program, the results have been incredible.
Kari Lotzien: [00:25:10] Thank you so much for being here. I want you to save this episode because when you go through times of doubt in your business, and you will, I want you to be able to come back to this and that quick little exercise that we did together to acknowledge how far you've come, the obstacles that you've faced along the way, and the resilience that you have demonstrated, that you have data for. To give yourself credit for that and to revisit what keeps you going right now? What are you excited about? This is something you can come back to again and again. And if you are inclined to share this episode with someone who you think might just need a little reminder or a little boost right now, please don't forget to like and share the podcast with a friend. Thanks so much my friends. I'll see you next week.
Kari Lotzien: [00:25:58] Please know that this podcast is meant for entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitution for medical or professional mental health advice. If you require support, please do reach out. Thanks so much.
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What I want to talk about today is empathy. Specifically, I want to talk about how your empathy may be hurting your business. Possibly in ways youâve never considered before. There are ways you may be getting in your own way through empathy. Now Iâm not saying that empathy is a bad trait or in any way wrong, thatâs not it. I am saying there is a time and place for empathy and to ensure empathy doesnât lead to business decisions in ways that are detrimental to your growth.
Iâve had experience, personal experience, in letting my empathy get in my way and my business suffered for it. There are three main ways that I see in which empathy can undermine your efforts for your business. One way is making scalability and how youâre going to transition to having employees more difficult. The second way is in struggling to hold others accountable and not making excuses for people. And the third way is to prevent you from charging what youâre worth. There is a lot to examine in these three issues. How do you identify if theyâre problems for you? What do you do to fix them if they are?
I want to talk about how you can still lead with empathy and support as important parts of your business. But if you are allowing empathy to get in the way of, say, transitioning clients to your new capable team members, or if youâre so desperate to be liked as a leader that you canât clarify and enforce the expectations of a job, then youâre setting yourself up for failure. How can you keep empathy in mind without giving it control? How can you continue to offer top-tier service to clients without doing it all yourself? Thatâs what Iâm going to explain in this episode.
Key Moments
02:15 When empathy gets in the way of scaling your business and transitioning your clients
12:58 How empathy can prevent you from holding others accountable
16:39 Why do we need to charge what weâre worth and not let empathy hold us back?
Ask yourself if certain clients would be better served by new team members in some areasHave you been clear in communicating expectations and productivity needs?Does what you charge allow you to appreciate your team well financially?__
Resources mentioned in this episode:
WINTER PROGRAM ANCHORED LEADERSHIP ACADEMY__
Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:
Website: BeTheAnchor.caFacebook: BeTheAnchorLtdInstagram: BeTheAnchor.caLinkedin: Be-The-Anchor-Ltd__
Transcript:
Kari Lotzien: [00:00:01] Welcome to Be the Anchor, the podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach Kari Lotzien. When the seas of life get stormy, and they always will, it is not up to us to captain anyone else's ship or to try to calm the waters of the ocean. It's up to us to set our own destination for what we really want, and to learn how to navigate those waves of life together while finding that place of security and stability with others. I call this being an anchor.
Kari Lotzien: [00:00:38] Hello, my friends. I'm so glad you're here. Today I want to talk to you about how empathy might be hurting your business, and specifically, how empathy may be hurting your ability to scale or grow your business. This topic is coming from a place of real vulnerability because as I took my business, I was an occupational therapist for 22 years who grew a private rehab practice and eventually went on to sell that same business that I was so proud of. Now, in these last few years, as I've come into business and leadership coaching, and I've had the opportunity to work with so many entrepreneurs in service-based businesses. So I'm talking to the psychologists, the healthcare workers, massage therapists, chiropractors, SLPs, as well as financial planning accountants, bookkeepers, any space where your service has led your business. I'm seeing a theme through all of these practices as they grow and scale, and they are coming up against the same challenges that I did over and over and over again. And I just want to openly talk about it, because I don't think that this is something that you get in traditional sales and marketing books or how to create, you know, great offers for your clients when we think about scaling.
Kari Lotzien: [00:02:02] What I want to talk about today is where you might be getting in your own way. And I'm going to offer just a little bit of self-reflection because looking back I now see where my own empathy was really getting in my way. So I want to start off with like, let's just be so honest. If you are in a service-based business and if you've started off small, maybe as a solopreneur, you are hoping that maybe you could kind of get this business going as a side hustle and get some clients that would maybe pay you and pay you consistently for your services and the things that you were really interested in. Your ability to empathize, to understand what your clients needed, what their fears were, maybe where they were confused, or what information did they need? When you were able to connect with your clients or your customers in a place of empathy, it likely served your business very well because your customers felt understood. They knew this person really gets me, and they were willing to trade their time and money for your knowledge and service. And that relationship developed sometimes over years. And this is the foundation of, I think, every service-based industry. If you don't provide great service and if you can't empathize with your clients, odds are you didn't really get it off the ground. But if you've done the work and you're at a stage where your business is successful and you are scaling up, then your empathy has likely served you so well to this point. Your clients adore you. They feel so connected and they feel so grateful for the service that you provide to them, the time and the energy and the knowledge.
Kari Lotzien: [00:03:44] But what happens is, if you're the type of person that now you're ready to scale your company, maybe you've decided to specialize in a certain area of practice, or you are reaching a very particular demographic. Or maybe you've started to expand your team because your caseload is overwhelming and you've got so many clients, but now you really need to start filling up your other team members so that you can maybe open up to be more of a mentor, or to do the visionary planning in your company, or to start doing something else. In my own company what I saw was I absolutely started that way. I worked with clients directly and I was so passionate about it. I loved what I did, I loved the learning that came with it. And then over time, as I started to grow and change, I got really connected to doing training and I loved teaching. That's what was lighting me up. I had also developed my business to a point where I couldn't keep up with the demand for the customers that I had. My caseload was overflowing, and it was to the point where if I had one cancellation, it was throwing off my whole week because I didn't have any space or capacity to put that client that I really did care about, that I knew really did need my service.
Kari Lotzien: [00:05:00] So as I started to hire people, what I was finding is that it was really hard for my clients to want to transition to a new team member. My empathy kicked in and I thought, well, I don't want to let them down. I don't want that customer or client to potentially leave my business and my service. I didn't want them to feel like I didn't care about them because I really did. I felt like I could keep doing this. I had developed this over time, so maybe I just should. And that new clients, when they came on, could then go to my team members. Now, the hard thing with that is when we were getting referrals, they were also coming with a direct request for me as the owner. The way that I see this, I'm very recently working with a client of mine who is in the financial world, and over the decade that they've been in business, they've really started to niche their service. So the way that I was moving into training, this particular client of mine was working towards a very specific demographic. So they had learned a lot more about corporate tax planning and financial planning. They had learned a lot more about succession planning in multigenerational family businesses. Their specialty had really started to narrow down, and this is the thing that they were really passionate about, that they were spending their time engaging in learning around, and that was where they wanted their business to go.
Kari Lotzien: [00:06:24] Now what was happening is they had no space, just like I had no space in my calendar when I had a cancellation. They had no space to attract these new clients that they were really passionate and could serve very well, because they had a fairly large practice that included a demographic of clients who were not that type of person. They weren't business owners, they maybe had a small amount to invest over time into their tax savings or their retirement planning. But as this consultant had developed their practice over time, they were just finding that they couldn't let go and they didn't want to let those clients down. They didn't want those people to feel disappointed because that is what grew the foundation of their practice. But what happens is you will reach a plateau that if you continue trying to serve everyone that you were before and grow, there's no capacity, there's no space to do that.
Kari Lotzien: [00:07:21] The quote that I kept coming back to during this time as I was trying to transition my clients: Just because you can doesn't mean you should. I think that when we talk about boundaries and we talk about saying no, and we talk about there's this premise that we are completely good, of transitioning or sending our clients somewhere else when we don't have the information, when we feel like we can't provide that service or we don't have that knowledge. The truth is, in this situation, you do have the knowledge, you do have the relationship, and it's often something that you actually are very confident in and somewhat enjoy doing. But what I know for sure is that when you continue to serve clients that are not in the direction that your business is headed, or maybe you've decided that you're giving up that front line altogether and you're really moving into this place of mentorship with your team, and you really want to move into that, regardless, the longer you hang on to what you were before and the things that you were doing before, you will start to get resentful. And it shows up in such subtle ways but I know for myself and again, I'm just being really transparent with you, that when I held on to those clients that had been with me for years, that I felt I didn't want to let them down and I would keep doing those appointments, what was happening is I wasn't serving them to the best of my capacity, because I just wasn't as passionate about it anymore. My attention was somewhere else, and over time I was feeling like the service that they were getting was not what it should have been.
Kari Lotzien: [00:08:55] And I had to get really real with myself and say, you know what? They would be served so well by one of my other team members who is so passionate about this area of practice. For my financial planner friend, as they were building their team, they had team members who absolutely had full capacity to take on those clients who were not business owners and who were just really invested in slowly saving for their retirement. They were passionate about that. They were building their practice. And she could still serve those clients, probably with a higher level of capacity, by transitioning them to one of her team members. So I think that's a place where we just have to get really real with ourselves, that you got to say no to the things that you can do that sometimes you want to do and that you still love, but it's not aligned with the direction that you want your business to go. It's okay to say I don't do that anymore, and to still have real appreciation for what that client or customer was in the beginning of your journey, and changing the messaging to the reason you're transitioning them is so that they can still get that exceptional service.
Kari Lotzien: [00:10:03] Gillian is an incredible entrepreneur who is going through a time of scaling her very successful business. When she offered to record a testimonial about her experience with the Anchored Leadership Academy to go on my podcast, I was so honored. Have a listen to what she had to say. My name is Gillian and I just finished the Anchored Leadership Program with Kari Lotzien. I'm a financial planner, I've owned a practice for eight years, and I'd hit a space of exponential growth. Everything was going great, but I always struggled with, um, the management of team, how to hire, how to fire, how to have those yucky conversations. And that was a huge takeaway from the Anchored Leadership, where I got tools and practice as to how to implement those things into my business so I can continue to grow and continue to thrive. It was an exceptional experience that I would highly recommend to any business owner who is looking to push through their discomfort to that next level of success. In the Anchored Leadership Academy, we combine weekly live sessions for one hour that focus on a key area of leadership, and then participants have the ability to work through all of the content in the modules between sessions. This allows a nice balance between accountability for really busy entrepreneurs to keep moving forward with the program and get it done, while also having the ability to flex their time a little bit and make it work for them. An added bonus: all participants get lifetime access to the videos, the audio, all of the resources in the course so you can keep coming back to it again and again when it applies to that specific time in your business. If this sounds like an interesting thing to you, click the link in the show notes, book an inquiry call, and let's see if the Anchored Leadership Academy is right for you at this stage of business. Thanks so much. Back to the show.
Kari Lotzien: [00:12:07] I want to point out that knowing it and doing it are two very different things. I think that we look at our schedules, we look at our caseloads, we look at what we're doing in a day and we think, oh, I could probably just squeeze that in. This is a place that I work with clients really closely, and we actually develop sometimes a script or an email sequence or a system to transition clients to bring on someone else. Because I think first step is knowing that you need to but then being able to have a plan and a strategy for how you're going to do it is a whole other thing. So don't hesitate to get support in this, because it is not an easy process and your fears will kick in that those clients will leave or they're going to be disappointed. You're going to want some little support to get you through that.
Kari Lotzien: [00:12:58] Okay, the next one where I think empathy hurts your business, because I know it hurt mine, was in holding others accountable. Now, in being really honest, one of the mistakes that I see many service-based business owners make, especially if you are hiring someone to do a similar job that you were doing before - so if you are a service provider and you're hiring someone else to provide that same service - we will tend to way overextend our own schedules before we hire someone. And then when we do, we're almost desperate that we don't want that person to leave us. What I think happens in this is we hold back on being clear around what the expectations are, the things, the parameters, the KPIs -key point indicators - what are your goals? What are your outcomes when you take on this job? I know for myself, I focused way too much on I wanted my team members to like me. I wanted them to know that they were supported and that this job was going to be fun, and that they were going to have all of this flexibility. I was selling my job. But I wasn't trading that with accountability. I wasn't being clear on what I was expecting. And one of the other things I would do is that if someone fell short of expectations, and I'm going to be perfectly honest with you, sometimes they didn't even know what those expectations were. They were in my head of what I thought someone should know, the way I thought they should be motivated, or the productivity levels that I thought they should have, but I didn't actually say them out loud, or I didn't have them in a system or a process. When that happened, I would find myself making excuses for that person before I had even talked to them about it. So I would say things like, you know, I know you're really busy and I know that it's really overwhelming. And I would take the pressure off before I even said to them, but here's what I really need. I know you've got kids to drop off, and I know it's so hard getting little ones out the door in the morning, I totally get that, you know, it'd be great if you could be on time for work in the morning. Do you see how when I led with empathy, sometimes it was like, oh well, yeah, she understands. She knows it's not really a big deal.
Kari Lotzien: [00:15:14] But in the back of my mind I was resentful because I'm like, come on, we start at nine and I need someone here because I don't have space and capacity to cover your job when you're not here. I really need you to be on time. But by the time I would have the conversation, it was this really evasive, weird, I wasn't being clear, nobody really knew what I meant. I think this is where empathy got in the way. Now, I'm not saying that it's not okay to empathize and to understand where people are coming from and the challenges that they're facing. I think where this gets us into trouble is when we empathize too much, we make excuses for people, and then we don't hold them accountable on the other side. So my go to phrase with this is clear is kind. Do people know what I'm asking them to do? Do they know what the expectations are? And when they don't, am I able to just come back to those conversations? Again, I think having the awareness that you need to is the first step. Knowing like, oh yeah, I do do that and it's probably not working well for me is step one. And I think then having a strategy and a plan, sometimes even developing that script to say, here's how I'm going to have this conversation is the next step so that your empathy doesn't end up being a door that gets closed, that you then are not moving towards the direction that you really need this conversation or these behaviors or these outcomes to go.
Kari Lotzien: [00:16:39] Okay, the last one. This is another big one. I think there are times where we use empathy, particularly in terms of affordability, and we price ourselves too low. Now, I'm going to be really honest with you. This is one that I still struggle with sometimes because I know for myself. I want to be available to people. I don't have a multi five-figure coaching business. That is not what it costs to work with me. I've tried to price myself in the middle where I am working with business owners at what I call the teenager phase. I'm really interested in helping you to scale your business. I really want you to go to that next level. I want you to be an exceptional leader and I want you to make money doing it. Recently, I had someone come to me who was really struggling in their business, and they've been struggling for a long time. They are trying to hold all of the hats. They are the hub of the wheel. They are stretched and stretched and stretched beyond capacity. And they came to me to inquire about my services. But they had no space and no time to be able to even allow time for a coaching appointment. And if you want a little bit more information, last weeks, two weeks ago episode was Is Business Coaching Worth It? And that was a little bit of framework for this conversation that I had. Because this person said to me in anger, this is what makes me so angry about business coaches, is you have information that I need and I know I need it, and I know you could help me, but you are at a price that I can't afford because my business is barely scraping by. I'll tell you out of the gate this person had a seven-figure business. And as I said, my coaching services are not five-figure coaching services. I had to sit back because my first response was, I know how hard business is, and I know what it feels like to be stretched beyond your capacity and feel like you have no time. And this person wanted me to open up appointments on evenings or weekends. That's what they were asking for. I don't have time during my day to spend time on coaching. And I had to take a breath because my first thought was, oh, I could probably do this. If I only took one client like this, I could probably squeeze them in and I understand, and maybe I could, you know, lower my prices for this. Or maybe we could do a trade. And I had to come back to myself to the very first point to say, hang on a second.
Kari Lotzien: [00:19:20] If you are at a place where you have zero capacity to even give me an hour every couple of weeks within a 9 to 5 workday from Monday to Friday, you likely don't have capacity to implement the changes that I'm going to ask you to make in your business. You are better off to shift your focus and really look at your own business. But I'm not the coach for you. I am not going to be the one that is going to meet with you in the evenings. This person also was really adamant they needed to meet in person, because they said they were too distractible when things were online, because they had too many other things going on, and they would just go and return emails or do other things while we were in coaching. They were telling me so clearly. I am not your ideal client. They were putting it right out there. They were being beautifully honest with me. And my empathy was kicking in and saying, oh, but I could, I could do this for this person. So I had to sit back, I had to get real with myself and say, you know what? This is not my best client. I was able to refer that person on to someone who is a phenomenal fit for them, and I think they'll get great results. But what I know now is there's an investment that I expect my clients to make with me.
Kari Lotzien: [00:20:36] There is an investment that you expect your clients to make with you. And as you scale your business, if you have spent money on up-leveling your services and on getting different credentials or specializing in your industry, you are valuable. I want you to hear that again. When you have experience, when you have knowledge, when you have specialized, you have earned the right to increase your prices. Now, if that doesn't sit well with you and that still feels sticky or hard, then I'm going to come at this from a different way because I for years tried to price my services when I was a solopreneur, I thought, well, I'm working for myself, so if someone doesn't pay me or if I lower my price, the only real person that's hurting is me. Then when I went on to paying staff members and team members, the way that I kind of got through this undercharging was because I really valued my team, and I wanted to have an exceptional team to take over. I wanted them to feel really valued. I wanted to be able to pay them not only fairly, but I wanted to be able to pay them well so that they felt so appreciated and they didn't feel like they were barely scraping by, and they could take vacations and they could do fun things with their families, and they could buy that house of their dreams. That's what I wanted to be a part of, because I can tell you my team was incredible and they deserved it. The way that they showed up and the passion and the care that they gave to their clients, they deserved to be paid well. It was easier for me as a leader to think of it that way, that when I was charging a fair amount, when my business was not just barely scraping by, that I was able to attract really great staff, I was able to build my team, and they felt really valued and appreciated financially. That was huge.
Kari Lotzien: [00:22:27] I'm now at kind of at another stage of this, and I don't know if it's my age or just kind of now looking in different industries, because I think in service-based industries, we tend to think we don't want to overcharge because we want to be affordable for clients who really need it. And if you're working with people and helping them with their pain, or helping them with their children or helping them with taxes and finances, you know that your services are needed. And when we charge fairly it can feel sometimes like we're taking advantage. And what I now know is that when you've specialized, when you've done the work and you've got the experience and you've got the reputation to stand on and you increase your prices fairly, there's an alignment. You will attract the right type of clients to your business who are able to pay, but it will also give you the ability if you choose to give back in other ways. You can then do scholarships for your business, or you can offer maybe free trainings or workshops for people. You can give back to charities that you really believe in that are doing amazing things. I now know that if we want to build small community, if we want to build strong communities, the way that we can do this is financially. Maybe in the past you had time to give. You could volunteer to give back. There is still a need for our food banks, for mental health services. There's so many places where we can give back to our communities to help those resources build, and I think when we get really clear about how we want to give back and how we want to build communities that align with our core values of our business, this is the way that you can sometimes overcome that financial hurdle in charging what you're worth.
Kari Lotzien: [00:24:11] So. Thank you so much for being here. When you think about how empathy might be hurting your business, number one, I want you to think about who are you going to transition, who are you no longer going to work with and how you might do that? Number two, holding others accountable, not making excuses for people or letting them off the hook before they even know what the expectation is. And number three, charging what you're truly worth and being able to stand in that and feel confident. As you've talked through these, if you find that maybe you do want a little bit of support in okay, I understand yes, this is me, this sounds very familiar, and you're in a service-based industry that you are looking to scale, the Anchored Leadership Academy might be a great fit for you. I totally invite you to go to my website and check it out. Our next cohort will be going through in March. Our doors are open. We're going to have a small group where you work through modules week by week on the key elements of leadership, of scaling your business. And then we have an hour a week together where we get to talk as a group and really apply this to your business. If this sounds interesting, please do reach out. Let's book an inquiry call and we'll see where it goes from there. If you have not liked and subscribed yet, please make sure that you click on the three little dots and make sure you follow and subscribe so you don't miss an episode. We'll see you next week.
Kari Lotzien: [00:25:38] Please know that this podcast is meant for entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitution for medical or professional mental health advice. If you're requiring support, please do reach out. Thanks so much.
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A topic came up during our Anchored Leadership training that is a challenge faced by many small businesses. Itâs something every business owner with a team will face sooner or later. What to do when a key member of your team leaves? Regardless of whether that person is going away temporarily, on an extended vacation or maternity leave, or theyâll be gone permanently, they got a new job or moved cities, losing a member of your team that you rely heavily on is a blow thatâs difficult to overcome. So Iâm going to talk about being proactive.
People are transitional, they follow opportunities, ideals, and family decisions. The days of choosing one job and staying there until retirement are long gone. But just because a phenomenal person indicates they may only be with you for a short while, never shy away from hiring them. Even a short time with a phenomenal person will benefit your business. Instead, get proactive about preparing for inevitable departures. Think ahead. There are choices you can make that set your business up to do well even when someone leaves.
Ask yourself if there is cross-coverage for every team memberâs job. If somebody takes care of a vital aspect of your business and nobody else knows how to do it, that is a gap you need to fill. Cross-training is essential and that goes for your role as well. Itâs the ability to assess what your business needs and will need in the future, and how best to alleviate client and customer concerns about team member departures that will set you up for client retention and behind-the-scenes success. How do you do that now, when things are going well? Iâll lay out key points to consider so you can think about the future needs of your business today.
Key Moments
02:06 Why you should hire that phenomenal talent even if their time in your business may be short
03:26 All the reasons for cross-training team members
07:49 Why you should encourage relationships between clients and other staff
There are ways to prepare for client retention when providers leave healthcare jobsWhen you should introduce new hires to your team and clientsHow you deal with team member departures will be closely watched by the rest of the staff__
Resources mentioned in this episode:
WINTER PROGRAM ANCHORED LEADERSHIP ACADEMY__
Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:
Website: BeTheAnchor.caFacebook: BeTheAnchorLtdInstagram: BeTheAnchor.caLinkedin: Be-The-Anchor-Ltd__
Transcript:
Kari Lotzien: [00:00:01] Welcome to Be the Anchor, the podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach Kari Lotzien. When the seas of life get stormy, and they always will, it is not up to us to captain anyone else's ship or to try to calm the waters of the ocean. It's up to us to set our own destination for what we really want, and to learn how to navigate those waves of life together while finding that place of security and stability with others. I call this being an anchor.
Kari Lotzien: [00:00:38] Hello my friends. I'm so glad you're here. Today, I want to share a topic that came up during our anchored leadership training, and I recognized pretty quickly that this is a challenge that is faced by many small businesses. It's when a key member of your team leaves. Now, this can come in so many different forms. It may be that someone is going on maternity leave or taking a leave of absence due to illness or to be a caregiver for a family member. Or maybe they're leaving permanently, they got transferred or they're moving to a new community. Regardless, having to deal with transitioning employees is an inevitable part of business. And I think that we aim or we hope that we will get to a point in our business where we have a really strong, solid team where everyone knows what they're doing, they're well connected and that we'll live happily ever after. But the truth is, this is a moving target, and people have lives that are always changing. And the days of staying in a job for decades and then retiring in that said job are really something we're seeing less and less of. People are more transitional, and they will follow new opportunities. And you might have a phenomenal employee who stays with you for a very short period of time.
Kari Lotzien: [00:02:05] Number one, I don't want you to ever shy away from hiring a phenomenal team member just because you think that they may not be with you that long. If they have a love of travelling or they mention that they may end up having a new opportunity, I don't think that it is ever worth not taking a chance on people, because I can tell you some of my best hires, and the people that really moved my business forward, were people that didn't stay with me long. The benefit they had to my business, I wouldn't take it back for anything. I think that there are ways that we can be proactive in how we manage this very real challenge that many small business owners face. We want to be proactive. Don't ever assume that by offering people more money, or by making them feel like they're irreplaceable, or that you're so dependent on them and you don't know what you would do without them, that is not the way to retain staff.
Kari Lotzien: [00:03:08] We want them to have freedom. And there's a way that you can love on people, ensure that they feel respected and valued in your business, while still really appreciating that they always have opportunities that may be available to them elsewhere and that you don't own them. I think we really need to consciously cross-train your team. If you have one team member that holds a key role in your company and no one else knows how to do that skill or that task, even to cover for a short period of time, say that person got sick, we need to make sure that every task in your business can be covered by someone else. If you have gaps, then you need to go in and be consciously filling those in and cross-training your team. Even if they don't do that skill or that task all the time, to make sure that you've got someone who could step in if needed. And I'm going to highlight, this goes for you too. Look at all of the roles you hold in your business and if you needed to step away, could you? And hopefully at least the majority of the tasks that you do in your business could be covered by someone else.
Kari Lotzien: [00:04:22] I think proactively another thing that we can do is encourage coverage. So I want to lean in and talk about specifically service-based businesses and maybe even leaning further into talking about healthcare businesses. Therapists. Whether you are a physiotherapist, speech therapist, chiropractor, psychologist, counselor, massage therapist, I think there are patterns that we hold in these types of industries, where a client will form a really solid, long term relationship with one single person in your team, and that puts you at risk. Because if that person leaves or goes even to your competitor, that client is at risk for following them, or they will start to look around at other businesses, at your competitors, and there is a chance that you can lose that customer. So to encourage that customer to develop a relationship with more people than just their one service provider on your team. So this could be a way of providing coverage. So if one of your employees is sick, maybe another one fills in for a couple of sessions or you consciously talk about specialty areas of practice. So if you're a massage therapist, but maybe one of your colleagues, a different member of your team, has a specialty in how they manage a certain type of injury or a certain type of pain. What you want to do is encourage your team to be referring to each other. So you might be the primary service provider, but if that person has a really specialized piece or you're getting feedback, you might have a team member that's really not open to going and having a service provided by that other professional. One way that you can kind of bridge this gap is to have your team members talk about each other. Hey, I was talking about you with my colleague because they went to this new course or they've really specialized in this certain technique and I had them consult about how I might approach this certain challenge. So what you're doing is you're giving credit to other members of your team. Your client is then hearing their name. They're getting to know them a little bit. They're getting a little bit familiar with what they do, which kind of creates a safety net that if this therapist left, they know that there's someone on your team who may be able to step in and provide this high level of care that they've heard about, or they know that that's a part of your system.
Kari Lotzien: [00:07:02] One of the best things I did last year was launch the Anchored Leadership Academy training program. We had our first group go through in the fall of this year, and let me tell you, it was incredible. We gathered a group of established entrepreneurs who really wanted to move forward in their leadership skills; developing their teams, being able to feel confident in giving great feedback, and delegating well to move to that next stage of their business. The next cohort will be starting in March 2024. The doors are open now for applications. All you need to do, if you want to check out the link in the show notes, have a read, and if it feels like a good fit, book an inquiry call. That's it. Hope to see you there. All right, back to the show.
Kari Lotzien: [00:07:49] The other thing is you want to consciously develop relationships with different members of your team. If you have, or every patient, every client, has a relationship with the receptionist, and far beyond just checking them in. But does that receptionist know their name? Do they ask how their trip was or do they make kind of light chit-chat? These things again, help to develop the relationship not just with the service provider, but also with your business as a whole. They have that relationship, they have that connection. And when the receptionist says, oh, you know, did you hear or I know that you've heard that your service provider is leaving, but I know that this other person is just going to be amazing, their clients just rave about them too. What happens is when the receptionist says that, there's already this sense of trust, there's already a sense of relationship, and they'll trust what they share and that they're being looked after in the business as an entirety. So you want to make sure that you're consciously developing those relationships across your practice.
Kari Lotzien: [00:09:03] Now. Let's talk about when you're in the situation. So you've heard that maybe someone is going on leave. I think there are best practices when it comes to how do we do this with our clients so that we minimize the risk of them losing the connection with our business and losing them as a customer? We don't want that. I feel that any time you have information to share where you anticipate that someone is not going to be happy with what you are telling them, so whether that is I'm moving away, I'm taking a leave, I'm changing my hours, I'm going part-time, any reason that someone is leaving and you anticipate that their customers aren't going to be thrilled about it, get closer. I do not think that people who have invested their time and their money with you, and as a service provider especially in the healthcare industry, sometimes these people, they have disclosed really difficult information to you, they've gone through hard times and they really do have that close, connected relationship. If they suddenly see on a website or they get a really impersonal email that announces your departure, it doesn't honor the relationship you have. So I think the closer you can get in letting people know that that's what's happening, ideally, the service provider themselves is telling that customer up front, this is what's happening, here's my plan and we've got some time to plan the transition.
Kari Lotzien: [00:10:37] I think it helps our clients, our patients, to feel like we truly care about their service and that we're invested in the transition with them. Ideally, we then want to give them an option. So you could talk to them that as you're coaching your team member, to then talk to their clients to introduce them to who's taking over their caseload for them, and then you plan. So I could introduce you to them, we can set up a joint visit. Now I'm actually a big fan of doing joint visits. And yes, I know that it costs the business owner significant money to pay two staff members to see one client. I personally feel the investment is worth it. When we would transition team members amongst our team, when we'd have maternity leaves or long holidays or people were leaving permanently, I would typically allow them 2 to 3 visits where they would overlap, even if it was maybe even for a portion of the visit, because I wanted the relationship to develop and transition from the person they knew to someone new. So that the likelihood of losing that client, they never felt like we dropped them. They never felt like they had to take it over and then the person leaves, they then have to decide, am I going to try again? Who am I going to reach out to? What is their schedule like? And they need to call the office.
Kari Lotzien: [00:12:02] Ideally, I want to keep that client on the same schedule, and I just want to transition them to a new team member, but I want it to be seamless. I want them to feel held as they are transitioning from one team member to the other. Then I want to get ahead of it. I want to ask or answer all of their questions for them. So if you anticipate that those clients, patients, customers are going to have questions about, well, what is this new team member's experience, do they know how to deal with my particular issue or my challenge? So you want to answer that ahead of time. You want to be able to speak to the credentials of the receiving team member, even if it's someone who's new to your team. I'm making sure that my front line team member ideally knows who's going to cover for them, they know who's going to take over, and I can pass them over seamlessly. If you're in a situation where maybe you don't have that, you have a team member that's leaving but maybe your new person that's taking over that caseload isn't starting for a certain amount of time. I'm still going to try and backfill it so that I'm talking about them as if I'm assuming that they're going to take over. I'm talking about when they're coming. I'm talking about, you know, when they will be in contact or when they'll reach out, or will the receptionist be reaching out once they're up and ready to take on that new client, that then we're creating that transition. So ideally you're doing the overlap. And if you can't, you're still speaking to how that transition is going to happen. And you're really speaking positively about the receiving team member and what's happening there.
Kari Lotzien: [00:13:41] Give them all of the information they need. So they might also wonder, well, how are they going to know all the things that we've done already? How are they going to know what I've already worked through so that, you know, if you tried a certain technique and it didn't work for that client or they really didn't like it, is this new person going to know that, or am I going to have to repeat all of my stuff all over again? So you might then tell them about this is our transition plan, here's how we communicate. If you know that you're going to plan to transition to this new team member, we will do a review. So I go through with my team members, they will have access to my files, whatever the idea is so that that patient feels held and cared for. If there's going to be a change in schedule, so will they still be available for my typical 8 p.m. appointment on a Thursday? Do I still get my time? Whether they do or they don't, don't make false promises, but lean in and if the schedule is going to change, you let them know.
Kari Lotzien: [00:14:43] Any place where you feel like there is a potential place where we could lose service. So whether it's credentials, whether it's background information, whether it's scheduling, anything that you can think of, that might be a reason why this customer that you've worked so hard to get into your business, we want to make sure that we're answering their questions ahead of time so that we don't risk losing them. And then we always want to close the door by making sure that your customers hear how grateful you were for that team member that they had the relationship with. Even if that team member leaves for reasons outside of maybe what you think was best service, you never want to be bringing team complaints or if there was issues in your team or that person left because they weren't satisfied, you don't bring that to the front line of your clients. You never want to highlight any sort of, oh, this person is so much better, or it was time for that person to go. You never want to give a sense of they left begrudgingly. You want to keep that cohesion in your business. If they had a great relationship with that person, you really want to honor that and you want to be speaking respectfully all through that engagement, especially as someone leaves.
Kari Lotzien: [00:16:06] We want people to, when they transition, we want to be giving them the message as well that we are grateful for the service that they've provided, no matter how long that was. I think sometimes it's difficult as an owner when especially a key team member leaves, or someone who's a really high performer who is just so good, we do feel grief and loss and anxiety when they leave our team. Own it. Own it yourself. Don't put it onto that person. Be really intentional about how you want them to be leaving your business. If you want to make sure that they're leaving feeling your gratitude, your respect, and your really good wishes that whatever they're choosing next in their life, they're going with support. I think sometimes inadvertently, we will share, Oh, I don't know what I'm going to do without you or this really leaves us in a difficult situation, we're in a hard hiring time and it's just really hard to find new people, with all due respect, that is not your team member's problem. That's yours. And it's kind of an expected part of business and a risk that we take as we go through these transitions. So today I just wanted to share with you a few ideas on what to do when you find out that a team member is leaving for any reason to really minimize the risk that you lose clients.
Kari Lotzien: [00:17:32] And I'm going to seal it up that when a team member leaves your business, never forget that the team members who are staying, who are on your team, they're watching to know how you deal with this departure. And this is a time where you really need to have high levels of integrity because you don't want someone to see a negative impression or, you know, that you're talking badly about someone or that, you know, you're really making them feel horrible about leaving your business because the people that are still there, they know that well, that's what might happen when I announce that I want an extended vacation, or when I've decided to start my family. You don't ever want your current team members to feel like them living their lives and doing what they want to do is jeopardizing how you feel about them. You always want to create that sense of safety and connection and all of that.
Kari Lotzien: [00:18:34] So, a few ideas today. I hope it helps as you transition into building your team, building strong, connected teams, and maintaining just phenomenal businesses that really look after clients well. Thanks so much for being here. We'll see you next week.
Kari Lotzien: [00:18:51] Please know that this podcast is meant for entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitution for medical or professional mental health advice. If you require support, please do reach out. Thanks so much.
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If youâve done your strategic planning for 2024, you may have laid out some big goals, and you might be asking yourself âIs business coaching worth it?â. Iâm going to be exceptionally candid with you in this episode. Business coaching is a great help but itâs not always the best investment for you and your business in certain situations. You want to ensure a return on your investment so I want to give you guidance in what to consider when thinking about a business coach and how to hire a good one when youâre ready.
I understand the hesitation in hiring a business coach, when I was growing my first business, I held off on hiring a coach past the point where I should have. I have also hired a coach who seemed like a good fit but I didnât get good value out of the relationship. For a business coach to be beneficial to you, there is a lot to consider. Iâve come up with seven steps that guide you through the whole process from conception to hiring to ensure you find the right match for your goals.
The seven key points are designed to lead you on a journey of introspection to be sure youâre ready to benefit from what coaching can offer. First, ask yourself what you hope to get out of coaching. Before you try to narrow down the options in the field or interview a potential coach, know what you need. Also, do you have the time and energy to invest in coaching? Be honest. There are a lot of business coaches that charge big money and for you to get the results you want, you need to have the time to invest in what you learn from the coach. Then you have to ask yourself the hardest question: are you coachable? How do you assess that? How do you know youâll be able to follow through on your plans? How do you narrow down the glut of options in the business coaching industry? Those questions, and more, are what this episode will help you answer.
Key Moments
03:30 What do you hope to get out of coaching? How can you answer this for your business?
09:45 You need to find a coach who understands you and what you want from your business.
14:44 How to dig in and ask a potential coach the right questions.
Being coachable is a key component of the relationship, itâs a two-sided coinWill you be able to commit to putting into action the things you learn from your coach?Coaching will not save a floundering business if all your energy is devoted to keeping it afloat.__
Resources mentioned in this episode:
WINTER PROGRAM ANCHORED LEADERSHIP ACADEMY__
Contact Kari Lotzien | Be the Anchor:
Website: BeTheAnchor.caFacebook: BeTheAnchorLtdInstagram: BeTheAnchor.caLinkedin: Be-The-Anchor-Ltd__
Transcript:
Kari Lotzien: [00:00:01] Welcome to Be the Anchor, the podcast. I'm your host, business and leadership coach Kari Lotzien. When the seas of life get stormy, and they always will, it is not up to us to captain anyone else's ship or to try to calm the waters of the ocean. It's up to us to set our own destination for what we really want, and to learn how to navigate those waves of life together while finding that place of security and stability with others. I call this being an anchor.
Kari Lotzien: [00:00:37] Hello, my friends. I'm so glad you're here. You might have done your strategic planning for 2024, and you've got some big goals. And you might be wondering, is business coaching worth it? So whether you're looking at the Anchored Leadership Academy, the group training program, or maybe you're considering private coaching for your business, I want to be really clear. I do not always think that business coaching is the best investment. Today, I'm going to talk to you really openly about how I think you can use your resources with more clarity, and that if you choose to hire a coach this year or do a group training program, that you're really clear on what you want out of it, and that you're going through a process to make sure that what you're investing in is helping you to ensure that you're getting your return on your investment. I know that it's hard. As a small business owner myself, I started my business when I was in my early 20s, grew it for 22 years, and then sold.
Kari Lotzien: [00:01:36] And I know myself how reluctant, number one, I was to spend money on coaching, and I held on for a really long time and didn't seek coaching when I probably should have. And then I know there's times where I hired a coach and thought that I was going to get a lot of great value out of it and I was disappointed. And there was times where I found the right fit, where I was in a place where I knew what I needed. I was able to find the person or the program that was a great fit for me at that time, and I was able to move forward and get the results that I really needed. And I think too often when we look at the coaching industry, which is so saturated, we tend to be drawn towards the shiny things that people who have the most money and the private jet and the fancy cars, and we think that, well, if they have all of those things, they must be a great business coach and I should probably hire them. And then you find out how much it costs to actually work with them, and you think, oh, that's not available for me. I'll just have to accept much less or, worse off, you do spend the big money and you find that that person just really doesn't get your business and where you are, and they just have different resources or a different perspective. This doesn't work.
Kari Lotzien: [00:02:59] I think there's a process that we can go through together on helping you make the best decision on how you're going to move towards business coaching, or how you can decide with confidence that now is not the right time, and to do that and feel okay about it. So I'm going to give you seven steps today to just guide you through the whole process. Number one, I want you to ask yourself when you consider coaching, when you start to think about, oh, that's something that maybe I am interested in, I want you to just ask yourself, what do you hope to get out of it? What are you looking for in your business right now? Get clear. I think there's so many coaches out there that work in different areas. So there are coaches that work primarily with your strategic planning and they specialize in different industries. So you might have business coaches who specialize in the legal industry or in oil and gas or in product development. You might have business coaches who really look at efficiencies and time management or organization. Maybe that's one of your big struggles this year that you're wanting to improve on. I think one of the big mistakes that I see here is business owners mixing up getting help in your business, you need someone to do it for you, you need someone to just take over that task, versus spending time with a coach to allow you to really assess how are things working, to reflect or brainstorm ideas, and then to help create a plan together.
Kari Lotzien: [00:04:31] So let's take for example marketing. So maybe your challenge this year is you really want to grow your clientele, and you really want to grow your revenue in your business. You've identified the goal, but maybe you're not sure how and you're not quite sure where to move forward. What are your best ideas? Where are the gaps? Where could you grow? And you want someone to kind of bounce ideas off of and to be a sounding board who will ask the right questions to help you get clear, and then help you to lay out a plan to move forward. That can be a perfect fit for coaching. If you know exactly the product and service that you have already well established, you've got a great reputation, you know you've got the resources in place to handle the increased business, but you just need more people to know about it, then you might want to hire a marketing agency that can really focus on that specific challenge in your business and build you forward from there. So one is more of that kind of quick fix, or you're wanting the answer. The other is, I need someone to help me unpack the bigger picture. I think by just aligning what you're looking for specifically will help you with the next step when we talk about doing your research.
Kari Lotzien: [00:05:45] Okay. For number two, I want you to do your research to help you find the best fit for what you identified in number one. Once you know what you want to work on, now do your research and find out who might be the best fit. The coaching industry is really busy. It's really noisy. And I want to make sure that when you hire someone that you know you're getting what you're looking for. So you want to make sure, go to their social media, go to their website, listen to their podcasts such as this one. There's so many business coaches who have really great podcasts where you can go and kind of get to know them. It's like you're having a conversation with that person, and you get to know a little bit about what their values are, how they think, what they, how they attack different types of problems or challenges. What sorts of advice do they give? And I want you to ask yourself at that point, does this feel like a good fit for me? Do I feel like this is someone who would get me? You want to be looking at their social proof. So in their testimonials, are you seeing yourself? Are you seeing people who are facing similar challenges? You might just find that, yeah, they have similar challenges. So for example, I work with a lot of different business owners, but they face similar challenges.
Kari Lotzien: [00:07:05] A lot of the clients that I work with are working towards what I call the teenager phase of business. They're wanting their business to start operating a little more independently from them. They're ready to start letting go of some of the front line, and they are really looking at improving their own skills of leadership. They want to know how to delegate better, how to hire better, how to really build a strong team. And they know that as a leader, they might be really, really good at providing customer service, they're really good at doing the job themselves, but they know that there's a different skill set they need to develop as they grow their business and move it forward. There's other businesses where a coach will work primarily with men who are startups, who are in a certain type of industry. Maybe they only work in real estate and they coach other real estate owners to build their businesses. Or maybe you have someone who specializes in working on mindset with speakers, and they're really helping them to develop their speaking business. Whatever your goal is, you want to make sure that this business coach ideally can align and you feel like they get you.
Kari Lotzien: [00:08:14] I think this was one of the big mistakes that I made early in my business when I first started looking at business coaching, I didn't really know what I was looking for. I didn't really know what I wanted. I knew that I wanted my business to operate more smoothly, because I knew I was tired, and I knew I wanted to make more money. So when I was looking, I went to people and looked for advice, who had lots of money and who I felt like knew how to do business because they were driving the fancy vehicle and they had the nice house. I looked locally, and what I found really quickly is that when I started asking them for advice, I felt like they didn't really understand me. They didn't really understand why I was in business. They didn't understand that when they told me, you need to be working on your business, you need to just walk away and delegate tasks to others so that you can move into a place of ownership where you look after the business, but it runs itself.
Kari Lotzien: [00:09:07] I didn't understand how that would improve my business, and it didn't feel aligned with where my energy was coming from, because what I was so passionate about was the front line service. And I think there's a lot of business owners out there who are really passionate about what they do, about what they provide. They love mentorship, they love being with people. And maybe what they're looking for is, how do I support the back end? Because maybe you don't love doing the admin part of the job, the invoicing and the strategic planning and meeting with lawyers and accountants and all of that kind of stuff. Maybe that's not where your energy comes from in your business. So I think when you're talking to a business coach, you need to make sure that they understand you. A lot of the owners that I work with are parents, and one really big factor that I feel like a lot of my clients have is that they want to balance between having a life outside of their business and being really connected to their business. And I think early on, I know for myself, I was reaching out to business coaches who had no life balance themselves. That they had a value or a belief that you had to invest sometimes 80 hours a week in your business if you wanted to be successful and that the way that you did that was by hiring people to look after your family and by not attending some of those important events within your family, that it was just the price you paid.
Kari Lotzien: [00:10:35] And I remember feeling like, if that's the path to success, I don't think I want to be on it. It really had a negative effect and I felt really disconnected. And I will tell you, that's probably one of the key things that held me back from seeking a coach at the next stage, because I thought, they're going to tell me to do something like step away from my kids and not be there for family meals and not have family vacations. And those are the things that are most important to me, because that's kind of why I'm working. I love what I do, I believe in it, but I also want to have that balance. Those two things can't be mutually exclusive for me. So a lot of the people that I really love working with are in that same situation. They really value the time with their family. They do spend time volunteering and doing other things. They just feel they don't have enough time to do all of the things. And as we get a little bit older, many of my clients are in their 40s and we're starting to slow down. We don't have the energy that we did back in our 20s where, you know, we could stay up until midnight working on our business or finishing things up and cleaning things up. We need sleep and we're just tired. So we want to have more freedom and flexibility to do the things with the energy that we have.
Kari Lotzien: [00:11:49] This is something I want you to lean into, because you will be able to weed out a lot of people. And one additional step is I want you to ask yourself clearly when you look at a coach, would you trade their life for yours? So they might have the private jet, they might have the fancy car, but you might notice that they're on their third marriage or they have no relationship with their kids. You don't see that in their posts. Or you can see where maybe they talk about other people and kind of a negative way that they're using people to achieve that level of success. So I want you to just ask yourself, and if you do get that, oh, I'd really like that. Oh, that holiday looks really nice or I'd love to have that kind of vehicle, or I'd like to enjoy that really fancy vacation or that really great outfit, and then ask yourself, would I be willing to do what they're doing to get the results that they're getting? Because we can get a little bit enamored by the social media or the website, or the thing that looks really great on the outside. But dig into it. Do you feel that person could speak to where you are at in your business, and do you feel like you could have that mutual exchange? If not, they may not be the right fit for you and just know that from the get go.
Kari Lotzien: [00:13:09] One of the best things I did last year was launch the Anchored Leadership Academy group coaching program. We had our first group go through in the fall of this year, and let me tell you, it was incredible. We gathered a group of established entrepreneurs who really want to move forward in their leadership. So developing their teams, being able to give great feedback, delegating well to move to that next stage of business. The next cohort is going to start in February and doors are open now for applications. All you need to do is click on the link in the show notes, have a read, see if it feels like a good fit for you, and then book an inquiry call. That's it. Hope to see you there. All right, back to the show.
Kari Lotzien: [00:13:53] What I think you're doing in step two is you're narrowing it down. So now you might have narrowed it down to three different coaches that you think might be a good fit for you. You're doing your research to find out what am I looking for, who might be able to help me with this, and then narrowing it down even further to now where I'm going to take my next steps and maybe book an inquiry call or do a little bit more research to find out is this the right program for me as I move forward with this decision. Okay. At step three, you want to lean in a little bit further by booking that inquiry call or discovery call with that coach. This gives you a chance to ask your specific questions. Now, many of us are kind of turned off by an inquiry call because we're used to having the sales pitch or feeling pressured or coerced into buying a program. That's not what this is about. An inquiry call gives you a chance as well, to ask your key questions and make sure that this is the right person for you.I want to know, do they have a framework or a process that they work through with their clients? Because a lot of what you're paying for as someone who's investing in that service is you want to know that by going through this process or this framework, that you are going to achieve a certain type of result. That you're either going to learn or get something from your business. You're going to be able to create a strategic plan. You're going to be able to know what you want to do next in your business by following that framework or process. You want to know. Directly ask them, who isn't a good fit for my coaching. If they are the type of coach who tells you that they can work with anyone, anywhere, in any industry and that everyone is a good fit, that is a huge red flag for me, because I think if you're a good fit for everyone, you're probably a good fit for no one.
Kari Lotzien: [00:15:46] I want to know where do you really shine and who are you not a good fit for? What I know for myself, I am a great fit for service-based industries, particularly health and wellness, that's an area I really understand well. I love working with people who have taken a business from a really small place, and then they've grown it and they're really invested in it. I don't do well with more of a corporate structure where maybe that business has operated for 50 years and then I'm working more with a management team than I am with an individual. I know that I do better with individuals. I do better with small companies. I do better with service-based companies. Product businesses where maybe if their primary concern is supply chain issues, or they're really working on a certain type of process related to production, that is not my jam. If their issue is related to their people, team building, wanting to develop a strong team then that's more aligned with what I want to do. You want to know how long am I expected to work with you? So we have a lot of coaches out there who might sell you a package for a certain number of months, or a certain number of sessions. You want to ask them, how long do your clients typically stay with you? Because if I don't ever want a client that feels like they have to invest that time for the next 5 or 10 years.
Kari Lotzien: [00:17:07] But I'm also very forthcoming with my clients that I do a solid break. So they sign on for a certain number of sessions, and then they decide if they want to continue for another period of time. We clearly set goals, and if they take a break, there's no pressure. It's always concerning to me when coaches are evasive, either they won't tell you how long most of their clients stay, or you feel like there's kind of this sense of pressure to stay long term. If people are saying, oh, you know, most of my clients stay for five years and they're just so happy with my service, and if they speak poorly about people who maybe didn't continue on, you want to know what results can I expect to see in this particular time that I have available? If you're willing to commit six months to business coaching, and these are the results you need to see, you want to know that what you're looking for aligns with the way that coach works. If most of their clients work with them for extended periods of time, but they don't get that traction, that might not be the coach for you. So you just want to make sure that there's a good match between those two things.
Kari Lotzien: [00:18:13] Okay. Now I'm going to flip a little bit to the side of the coach, because one thing that I've learned over the last few years as I've worked with more and more clients. At step four, I want you to ask yourself before you invest one penny or one minute in coaching, I want you to get really clear with yourself. Do you have the time and energy to invest in coaching? When you go back to number three and you talk about, okay, how long are people expected to work with you? What is the time commitment involved? What is the financial investment that I'm going to make for this, and what are the results I can expect to achieve? Now I want you to ask yourself, do I have that time and the resources to truly make the investment to be a partner in this? I heard a beautiful quote the other day and it said the listener completes the song.
Kari Lotzien: [00:18:59] And I thought that was really beautiful because it's the same with coaching. Your coach can create the system and the process and the framework. But if the client doesn't come with their own experience and their own ability to apply that information to their business, the circle is incomplete, and no matter how great the system is, and no matter how great the training is and the framework and the process, if you don't have capacity to follow through on your side, no matter how much money you spend, I don't care if it's 29.99 for a one hour course or you're spending multiple five figures on a really complex highly committed framework, either one of those, if you don't have capacity to do it, is a waste of time and money. I'm going to say that again. If you don't have it, if you don't have the time or money, don't do it now. It's okay to delay it and then start to make a plan for how you are going to make that time available so that you can follow through. The thing that I now know in my practice is that when I have clients who are too busy and they are frequently canceling or moving appointments, they don't get the same result.
Kari Lotzien: [00:20:18] And even though they are paying for the service and they're valuing my time and energy, I don't like that. It makes me feel terrible because I feel like I'm taking advantage, and now I'm way clearer on just asking people flat out, I'm really clear on what they need to invest in terms of time and energy. And then I'm really clear that if they don't have that available to them or they're needing to cancel often, they can't expect to get the same results. And the best way for my clients to get results that they see on my website and they hear in my testimonials is by attending regular connection appointments with me, so that we maintain the traction on their goals and in their business, and that they are investing that time and energy into it. So that's a it's a bit of a tricky one. It can be a hard conversation, but I just want to be really open with you.
Kari Lotzien: [00:21:11] All right, now on to point five. I want you to ask yourself if you are in a state of crisis, or really, if it's time to be seeking qualified mental health support. I am a huge supporter of therapy, and I think sometimes we reluctantly hire a coach thinking that if we just get our business in place, that then the rest of our personal life or our challenges will work out. And I can tell you, this is not the best option. If you're in a place of crisis, if you're going through grief or trauma or loss, or you're dealing with incapacitating anxiety, this is the perfect place to reach out to a qualified mental health professional, to help you feel nurtured and get you back on track as a stepping stone, so that in the future you may be available for business coaching. But I never want to confuse coaching with qualified mental health supports. The other piece is, I want you to make sure that if your business is in a state of crisis, if you are thinking that business coaching is that last straw effort to try and save your sinking ship, that is your business. I also don't recommend coaching at this time, because this is the time you need to get really strategic around how are you going to save this? If you are in crisis and you're at that place where you feel like your business is sinking you, coaching is likely not your best investment. And here's why. I think that coaching works best when you have capacity to make the changes that you need to make. You need to be having space for vulnerability and being open and self-reflecting. And if you are spending your last resources, especially if it is big money, if it's multiple five figures that you're spending to achieve coaching, but your business is at a place where it is sinking fast, do not invest your resources on coaching. You're kind of setting yourself up for failure. At that place, you really need to get strategic about where are you going to be able to earn money to turn that around, or what supports do you need today to kind of stop that bleeding wound that is sinking your business, or you're plugging that hole in your ship as it's sinking. I don't want you to invest tens of thousands of dollars in coaching at that point. It will not save your business simply because you don't have capacity. At that time I think you need to really narrow down into where are the quick fixes? How can you save it? You're in crisis mode, right? So at that point, you really do need to narrow down and spend what resources you can honestly afford to spend. You need to get really clear on what capacity you have to save this and then move forward. But I think at that point, coaching is not your best option.
Kari Lotzien: [00:24:09] This is a tricky one. Number six is being able to ask yourself, am I coachable? Am I open to self-reflecting, getting feedback, and working towards change? Now I want to point out that in a great coaching relationship, it can be difficult to be vulnerable and to open up and that can take time. So I don't want to give you the idea that you have to come into a coaching relationship just being ready to kind of lay it all out on the table. The process of being able to open up does take time, but I want you to ask yourself, when you look at the past, when you look at kind of how you're coming into this, really asking yourself if you have willingness to consider self-reflecting and changing. Any time that we are looking to change, there has to be a sense of being coachable to take the information that you're given, reflect on how it fits and then be willing to adjust course. There are many people out there, and for multitude of different reasons, that are just not coachable. They are really stuck in their ways. They aren't really invested in making a change long-term because, for whatever reason, they feel like this is working just fine. So if you hear yourself saying things like, I just need to motivate other people, I just need to learn how to fix other people because they are the problem, either, you know, my customers need to understand or my team needs to be more motivated or more inspired, but you're not willing to look at your side of the equation. If that's the case, I don't think the business coaching is your answer. I think in that situation, you're working through the day to day activities in your business and you're doing the best with what you've got. But if you're not in a place where you're willing to change, if you feel like when you do, maybe talk to someone about it. And that could be even in an introductory or inquiry call. If you notice yourself defending what you're already doing. That's a pattern that you are frequently just defending why things have to be the way they are, or why you can't change, why it's never going to be any different. So this can feel, from the coaching perspective, when you come up against a client that is really resistant to change and is just always defending their own action and giving you all kinds of reasons why that's not possible, why they're never going to have more time, they're never going to be able to let go of that task, they're never going to be able to create any more money, it feels like such a roadblock. And this can really deflate a relationship quickly. As a coach, these are the people that will then also say, well, I didn't get anything out of coaching. I don't feel like the value is there and they can be really detrimental to the business reputation of the coach. But it's not because the coach didn't have the framework or the coach didn't lay out the plan. It was simply because the relationship, both sides of that beautiful coin in the coaching relationship weren't there. So you have to have that openness and flexibility both ways.
Kari Lotzien: [00:27:29] All right. And in our final and seventh step, this is the time where you've gotten through all of this other steps and you think, okay, I know my priorities. I know what I want to work on. I've researched my options, I've interviewed a few candidates, and I think I've found a program or coach that will be a great fit. I have the resources, both financially and in my energy and my time, to invest in that process and now I'm in a place where I can say, okay, I'm ready to make the investment. But the key to wrap all of this up is to now plan for your success. Set aside time, put it in your calendar, not only for your coaching appointments, but giving yourself space and time within that coaching relationship to be able to reflect, do your homework, go back and implement those changes so that you can really get the most return on your investment. I'm going to set aside that time to do my follow through on what my coach and I discussed. I'm going to have time to spend on the business outside of the time I spend with my coach, or in that course, or in that training, so that I can start to implement some steps, whether those are really big things or small things, but you're creating a plan. You're taking your side of the coin to ensure that you're not just doing the course, you're not just listening to the training and having all of these great ideas at the beginning but then they never go anywhere because you didn't have the plan to follow through on it. You didn't have the resources. But you're setting yourself up so that when you do invest that time in paying for that coach, that this is where you're going to really optimize on your return.
Kari Lotzien: [00:29:13] So this is where I want to just highlight that when you're looking at the value of coaching and the range is so wide when it comes to how much you'll pay for a coach, number one, you want to make sure that this is something that is affordable, but I also don't want you to look for the cheapest coach out there, because what I want is that the value is there. You want to make sure that they've got the systems and the process and the framework that you can follow that allows you to predict that you are going to be successful in the goal that you had when you came into coaching. But you understand that you're also paying likely for their experience. You're paying for their knowledge. They've likely, hopefully, had a background of learning business, of being able to apply it to different situations. They have a background in knowing how to coach people, and they understand and get you so that you are able to apply it to your situation. That does have value, and you want to be able to ensure that when you're paying that money, when you're investing your time and energy, whatever amount that is, that you're getting the value. And I do believe that when you find the right coach who really gets you and who understands your business and can get excited with you in unpacking your challenges and in brainstorming opportunities and collaborating together, that relationship can be beautiful, and it can be so much fun as you start to really explore, where do I want to go next with my business? And I never want to, of course, I don't ever want to deter someone from working with a coach who is really great. But I want to make sure that we are setting ourselves up for the optimal level of success in business and in life, and making sure that when we come to this partnership between a client and a coach, that we're both looking after our sides of it, making sure that you're finding the right coach with the right credentials, but that you're also preparing yourself for what is it going to take for me to truly implement some of these strategies into my daily life so that I can get what I need out of it?
Kari Lotzien: [00:31:26] I hope that you have really enjoyed this episode. If this is something you want to explore more and you've gone through, you've listened to some podcasts, and you feel like this might be a good fit for you, reach out. Book an inquiry call with me. We can find out if we're a good fit and build from there. Thanks so much for being here. I'll see you next week.
Kari Lotzien: [00:31:49] Please know that this podcast is meant for entertainment purposes only. It is not a substitution for medical or professional mental health advice. If you require support, please do reach out. Thanks so much.
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