Episodi
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As the end of the year looms into view, you may feel some regret or disappointment about unmet goals or unrealized ambitions. Add in the chaos of holiday schedules, and it's tempting to shelve all personal objectives until January.
This episode challenges that mindset, showing you how to turn these final months into a period of meaningful progress. Join me to reassess your goals without self-judgment, adapt your habits for the holiday season, and create a focused approach that will allow you to end the year feeling victorious.
Key Takeaways- Select 1-2 carefully chosen goals for a year-end focus, instead of trying to salvage everything at once.
- Keep your essential habits strong during holiday disruptions by identifying your true non-negotiables.
- Use regular check-ins to stay connected to your objectives and adjust as needed.
- Small, steady actions create more lasting change than big dramatic gestures.
Mentioned- Episode #154: The Surprising Secret to Enjoying Weekends and Vacations
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Craving a break from your routines? Discover why that might actually be sabotaging your happiness…as well as your progress.
Molly Watts returns to the Change Academy to help me unravel the counterintuitive link between structure and relaxation. Learn how to craft routines that boost mental and physical well-being, make your time off more enjoyable, and ease the transition back into your normal schedule.
Key Takeaways
- It's important to challenge our assumptions about what "freedom" really means in our lives. True freedom often comes from embracing structure, not abandoning it.
- When it comes to improved mental and physical well-being, the consistency of our routines matters more than optimizing them.
- Building awareness of how routine disruptions affect us can help us make better choices.
- Structure and routine are not the opposite of freedom, but the scaffolding that makes freedom possible. With practice, we can learn to find freedom within structure, leading to greater life satisfaction and achievement of our goals.Mentioned
- Alcohol Minimalist Podcast with Molly Watts- Weighless Program for sustainable weight management
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Episodi mancanti?
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Discover why viewing change as a lifelong journey is not just realistic, but liberating and exciting. Learn how to reframe personal growth as evolution rather than 'fixing' yourself, and explore the powerful concept of change as a form of self-expression. Whether you're working on health, finances, relationships, or any other area of life, this episode will equip you with a new perspective on sustainable personal development.
Key Takeaways:
Develop your 'change muscles': The ability to change is a skill that improves with practice and transfers across different areas of life.Adopt a flexible mindset: Life is dynamic, so our approach to change should be adaptable rather than rigid.Reframe change as evolution: Instead of 'fixing' what's broken, focus on growing into who you want to become.Shift from 'doing' to 'being': Align your actions with your desired identity for more sustainable change.View ongoing change as self-expression: Your growth journey is a unique way of expressing your values and aspirations.Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.
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In a world obsessed with success, embracing failure seems a bit counter-cultural. But if it’s good enough for the some of history’s smartest and most successful figures, there’s probably something the rest of us can learn. In fact, an outsized fear of failure could hold us back from our greatest achievements.
Whether you're a perfectionist paralyzed by the fear of making mistakes, or a risk-taker looking to fail smarter, let’s rewrite the script on what it means to fail -- and succeed -- in both personal and professional realms.
Key Takeaways:
Failure is a form of currency that you can use to purchase success.A growth mindset allows us to view challenges as opportunities for learning and improvement.Practice cognitive flexibility by examining failures from multiple perspectives.Approach setbacks with curiosity, analyzing them like a scientist to extract valuable insights.Remember that avoiding failure often leads to stagnation; taking risks is essential for growth.Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.
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In this episode, we explore the role of practice in habit formation and how a thoughtful approach can accelerate your progress more than just mindless repetition. We also talk about the mental aspect of practice and how practicing better thoughts can drive better behaviors.
Practice doesn't make perfect; it makes permanent - choose wisely what you reinforce.
Key Takeaways:
- What we repeat, we reinforce. Be sure you are reinforcing the thoughts and actions that you want to strengthen
- Beware the "streak" trap: While consistency is important, don't let a break in your streak derail your long-term progress
- Quality beats quantity: Focused, deliberate practice yields better results than mindless repetition.
- Mental practice matters: Your thoughts and self-talk are as crucial to practice as physical actions.Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.
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Dr. Bethy Campbell joins Monica to explore the delicate dance of offering constructive criticism while maintaining positive relationships. Learn practical strategies for delivering feedback that empowers growth, builds trust, and respects autonomy.
Whether you're offering feedback as a manager, colleague, spouse, or friend, this episode provides pro-level strategies that will transform your communication and foster meaningful change in others.
Key Takeaways
We earn the right to be able to offer feedback by focusing on the relationship first and establishing connection.Always precede constructive feedback with genuine praise to build trust and boost self-efficacy.Avoid using "but" when transitioning from praise to constructive feedback, as it tends to negate everything that came before.Frame constructive feedback positively by encouraging specific alternative behaviors rather than simply telling someone to stop doing something.When giving feedback, "strike when the iron is cold" to ensure emotions are not running high and both parties are receptive.Related Listening
Ep #140: Growth Factor: How to ask for (and receive) feedback
Links
Life Directions Consulting with Dr. Bethy Campbell
Meet me in Nashville for the ISCEBS Symposium
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Change is challenging, for all kinds of different reasons. But one thing that can make it more challenging than it actually needs to be is when we insist on going it alone.
Whether you're aiming to improve your health, boost your productivity, or cultivate a new skill, having a solid support strategy can be the difference between frustration and success.
But getting the people around you to support you in ways that you find supportive can be challenging. Here are some ways to set yourself up for success.
Key Takeaways
Be specific when asking for support from friends and family. Don't expect them to read your mind – tell them exactly how they can help. Remember that unsupportive behavior from others is often more about their own insecurities than about you. Curate your environment to reflect the person you're becoming. Remove obstacles and add elements that propel you towards your goals.Seek out people who share your goals and motivations and are actively pursuing the kinds of things you want to incorporate in your life.Work with Me
30 Day Nutrition Upgrade
Weighless Program
Keynotes and Workshops
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Dr. Michelle Segar is an NIH-funded researcher at the University of Michigan. She’s also a best-selling author and health coach. She’s spent close to thirty years studying how to create sustainable changes and healthy behaviors that can survive the complexity and unpredictability of the real world.
In this episode, Monica talks with Dr. Segar about her newest book, The Joy Choice, as well as her 3-step process for staying on track even when life goes off the rails.
Highlights
Why it is hard to follow through on our best intentionsHow research on ADHD has influenced behavior changeThe concept of Goal ShieldingHow working memory affects our behaviors and how we can leverage itMichelle's "POP" 3-step process and why play is such an important aspect of itMentioned
The Joy Choice, by Michelle Segar
MichelleSegar.com
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Goals come in different flavors--and they don’t all work same way. By understanding the differences, we can uncover ways in which our goals may be a bit fuzzy, lacking support, in conflict with one another, or even just out of balance. That insight can help us fine-tune our efforts, helping us create lives that are healthier, happier, more productive, and more meaningful!
Key Takeaways:
Make sure that your emotional and outcome goals are supported by specific behavioral goals.There’s an important difference between emotional goals (how we want to feel in our lives) and the desire to simply “feel better right now,” which can often lead us to act in ways that thwart our progress toward our actual goals.It can be hard to stay motivated by behavioral goals alone, so try to be clear on what emotional or outcome goals your behavioral goals are in service of. We also want to check our goals for alignment with our other goals and our values and adjust as necessary.Lab Experiment:
Make a list of your current goals, objectives and aspirations and sort them into behavioral, emotional, and outcome goals.
Does one category dominate your list? If most of your goals are behavioral, what sort of outcome or emotional goals will these behaviors lead to?Are your emotional goals supported by behavioral goals?Are your outcome goals supported by specific behavioral goals? Why do these outcomes matter to you; how do they align with your values and long-term vision?What emotional goals might your outcome goals serve? Do you have goals that are in conflict with one another? Can these two goals co-exist?If not, how do your values suggest you ought to proceed?Do your goals reflect the things you care about most? Do they bring you closer to a life that is aligned with your deepest values?Mentioned
Weighless Program for sustainable weight management
Overcoming stress and emotional eating
Happiness Trap by Russ Harris
Ep #146: Sense foraging: How to do an end run around the DMN
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The Default Mode Network, or DMN, is the part of your brain that drives your habitual actions and thoughts. When we feel “stuck” in unwanted behaviors or thought patterns, the DMN is running the show.
You might think that the solution would be to somehow ratchet down DMN activity. Unfortunately, this is almost impossible to do. But it turns out that there’s a surprisingly simple way to do an end run around that pesky DMN, and open up possibilities that have eluded us before.
Key Takeaways
Recognize your DMN at work: Next time you find yourself stuck in a negative thought loop or unwanted behavior, pause and acknowledge that this might be your Default Mode Network (DMN) running on autopilot. Engage your senses to shift your mindset: When stress or old habits threaten to take over, try the "5-4-3" exercise: Observe 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel, and 3 things you can hear. This simple practice can help break the DMN's hold. Embrace novelty in your routine: Look for small ways to introduce variety into your daily life, like taking a different route to work or trying a new type of exercise. Remember, even minor changes can boost your mood and broaden your perspective. Practice intentional sense foraging: Set aside time each day to deliberately tune into your sensory experiences. This doesn't require anything special - just pay attention to the sights, sounds, and sensations around you in everyday moments. Understand how stress affects your perception. When you're feeling overwhelmed, remember that stress can dampen your sensory perception. Try to counteract this by consciously tuning into your environment through your senses.
MentionedBetter in Every Sense: How the New Science of Sensation Can Help You Reclaim Your Life, by Norm Farb and Zindel Segal
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There's definitely an art to planning. And we'll get into that in this episode. But here’s the thing everyone forgets to tell you about planning: The real trick is actually not in making the plan. The real trick is in sticking to the plan you’ve made. We'll talk about why that is so darned hard--and how to get better at following through on your plans.
Key Takeaways
Planning provides structure, focus, and accountability. Without a plan, it's too easy for your goals and intentions to get lost in the shuffle of daily life. Having contingency plans allows you to adapt when obstacles arise, maintaining momentum and flexibility.Remember to be kind to your future self when making plans. Create plans that include not only productive tasks but also rest, relaxation, and treats. Even if your plans are not perfect, the act of sticking to them anyway (until you can adjust them) reinforces your identity as someone who keeps their commitments–even to themselves.Mentioned
- Episode #138: Why goals are not always enough- Have a nagging question or a problem you’re running up against, or just something you’ve noticed and want to share? Send an email or leave a voicemail and I’ll discuss it (anonymously) in a future episode.
- Learn more about the Weighless Program
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Being curious about our experiences (both internal and external) really is key to unlocking our progress and potential. But to be honest, it’s a tricky one.
Certain mental reactions often masquerade as genuine curiosity. In this episode, you'll learn to recognize these imposters and pivot instead to the kind of inquiry that actually moves you forward instead of leaving you stuck in the same old repeating patterns.
Key Takeaways
The goal of curiosity is less about explaining what happened and more about exploring what might happen next.Don't be in a rush to get to "the answer." By slowing down the process we can access information that might not be immediately apparent. When we need something to be a certain way, it’s hard to see what it actually is. The partner to curiosity is flexibility, looking for multiple ways to pursue an outcome. (Chances are, you'll need them all eventually).Not everything will work but, if we can be curious, everything can contribute to your success.Mentioned
Learn more about the Weighless Program
Have a nagging question or a problem you’re running up against, or just something you’ve noticed and want to share? Send an email or leave a voicemail and I'll discuss it (anonymously) in a future episode
Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.
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I'm betting you aspire to a future life that is at least a little bit better than it is now—perhaps you'll be a bit healthier, less stressed, more content. You're working towards a future in which you have achieved certain goals or milestones.
What we don't always realize (or fully acknowledge) is that the choices we make today, the actions we do or do not take, are actually creating that future. For better or worse. Let’s make sure that Future You doesn’t look back at today’s choices with regret.
Key Takeaways
Stop waiting for the "perfect time" to start working towards your goals – resolve to begin today. Remember that obstacles and challenges are part of life's fabric, not temporary disruptions. Learn to progress despite them. Be aware of how often you prioritize others' needs over your own goals and the impact this may have on your life's trajectory.Commit to taking action, even if you're unsure of the perfect first step. Action often leads to clarity. Be willing to tolerate the discomfort of developing new skills or habits, rather than avoiding it and deferring your progress. It's important not to just visualize your end goal, but also the daily effort required to achieve it.Mentioned
Change Academy #139: Finding your why
Change Academy #106 Why insight isn’t enough
Change Academy #6: The hidden cost of unmet goalsJoin us in the Weighless program
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Over the past 9 or so months, Karen has lost about 25% of her weight. Which is a big deal. But it’s really not the headline of her story. Her story is really about shedding her lifelong identity as the one who could do everything for everyone. Instead, she realized that focusing on her own physical and emotional health was not only the most caring thing she could do for herself but was also the most caring thing she could do for all the people she cared about.
Karen is one of the most inspiring people I’ve ever worked with and I want you to meet her.
Key Takeaways
You may be tempted to focus on the behaviors that you want to change. But developing healthier strategies to manage life's challenges is key to sustainable transformation.Prioritizing self-care may feel uncomfortable at first. But investing in your own wellbeing enhances your capacity to be there for others. It's not selfish; it's necessary. Stepping back can create space for others to rise to the occasion. You may be surprised at the growth and resilience this empowers in those around you. Change is an ongoing journey of growth, not a race to a fixed destination. Allow your vision of a "good life" to continue to evolve as you do. Be courageous in examining the patterns and beliefs that have kept you stuck. Take a "leap of faith" that the temporary discomfort of change will be worth it.Mentioned:
Stress and Emotional Eating program
Weighless programInterested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.
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Do you know what separates the people who achieve lasting change from those who stay stuck? I’ve worked with hundreds of clients over the years and some clear patterns have definitely emerged.
In this episode, I share the attitudes and behaviors that my most successful clients all embody - insights that can help propel your own progress, whether you're working with a coach privately, or in a group, or going it alone. You'll learn practical strategies for taking ownership, staying motivated, and making real progress towards your goals.
Key Takeaways
Only when we are willing to take responsibility for our actions (or inactions) can we make the changes needed to achieve our goals.Regular reflection is critical to internalizing what you are learning and maintaining progress. Rather than passively waiting for solutions, think ahead, ask for what you need, and seek feedback. Commit to viewing failures as opportunities to learn and refine your strategies, rather than as reasons to give up.A coach's role is to provide perspective, accountability, collaborative problem-solving, and support. The motivation and the willingness to do the work must come from you.Mentioned
Weighless Program enrollment information
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Dr. Bethy Campbell joins Monica to discuss the rewards and potential pitfalls of seeking feedback–in both your professional and personal relationships. Concrete strategies and real-world examples show you how to elicit the most constructive feedback and then how to process and act on it for maximum benefit.
Whether you're looking to improve your communication, enhance your work performance, or strengthen your personal relationships, this conversation is a must-listen for anyone committed to continuous improvement and personal growth.
Key Takeaways
If what you are really seeking is validation or reassurance, ask for that instead of asking for feedback. Asking first for specific examples of what is going well can make it easier to benefit from any constructive criticism that follows. Remember that giving feedback (especially to someone you care about) can be just as scary or challenging as being on the receiving end. When receiving feedback, confirming that you heard what the other person said is more important than disputing details or offering explanations.When feedback elicits a big emotional response, simply thank the person for their feedback and ask for time to process before responding.Get in touch
Send us an email ([email protected])
Leave us a voicemail (changeacademypodcast.com/voicemail)
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In this episode, we’re exploring an aspect of change that can be really tricky: figuring out why making this change is important to you.
It doesn’t sound like it would be that hard. But often it takes a little digging to get at the true heart of our WHY, our compelling reason.
Whether your goals have to do with your health, finances, career, relationships, or anything else, uncovering your compelling reason is crucial. Because it not only increases your chances of success; it also bolsters your overall mental and emotional health.
Key Takeaways
Knowing what you want to change (or how you’re going to go about it) often isn’t enough to overcome the counter-pressure of the status quo.A lack of alignment between our goals and our values causes internal conflict that reduces our resilience to everyday stresses.When we pursue changes or goals that are about other people’s expectations or approval, succeeding may not be as satisfying or rewarding as we thinkWanting to avoid something bad is just as valid a reason as wanting to obtain something good. But it is a different sort of why.Action Steps
Make a list of your reasons for wanting to accomplish a certain goal or create a specific change. For each reason, ask yourself: But why do I want that? What would that bring into my life? Then what? Keep asking that question until your answers feel connected to what you value most.Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.
Interested in having Monica present at your next live or virtual event? Learn more.
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We are a society of goal-setters. If you’re not setting and achieving goals, you’re not living your best life. Or so we’re told. And goals do have their place. The thing is that goals (alone) are not enough to really move us forward in the ways that matter most. In order to that, they have to be woven into a larger fabric that also includes our core values. In this episode, we talk about how to do that.
Takeaways:
A goal often involves achieving a certain result or crossing a certain finish line. But goals often lose their power to motivate us as soon as we achieve them.An objective goes beyond “I want to achieve this” more into the territory of “this is who and how I want to be.”Think about what objective or identity each of your goals contributes to. This ensures that even short-term achievements are connected to long-term objectives. Listening to podcasts does not create change. You have to actually put these insights and tools to work in your own life.Mentioned:
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Why is it sometimes so darned hard to just do the things that we KNOW will make us healthier, happier and more effective in our jobs and lives?
Behavioral activation offers us a framework for understanding and responding to that familiar situation of not wanting to do the thing that we know will actually move us forward.
Joining me on the show today is Dr. Bethy Campbell, a clinical psychologist, teacher, and coach who regularly stops by the Change Academy to help us make sense of our own brains.
Four Ways We Get Stuck (and How to Get Unstuck)
Overcoping (aka doubling down):: Excessive or overly intense efforts to manage stress or negative emotions.
What to do: Set realistic goals, prioritize, and establish boundariesAvoidance (aka procrastination): Staying away from situations, activities, or thoughts that are distressing.
What to do: Break the task or behavior into small stepsWithdrawal (aka isolating): Staying away from people and activities that you previously enjoyed; refusing to ask for help or support.
What to do: Actively seek out social interactions and engaging activitiesUnintentionality (aka numbing): Lack of awareness or conscious control over behaviors: engaging in mindless activity that may not be that rewarding.
What to do: Set limits on mindless activities, create structured routinesMentioned
- Change Academy #115: How to transform difficult emotions into powerful insights
- Change Academy #11: The Attention Intention Action cycle
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Kurt Nelson and Tim Houlihan are the co-hosts of the Behavioral Grooves podcast and heavy hitters in the behavioral sciences. In this episode, the three of us trade notes on what we've learned from years of podcasting and behavioral coaching and how it impacts our ability to work with our own behavior challenges. (Yup, we still have them!)
Key Takeaways
Curiosity allows for both open-mindedness and critical thinking.Trusted sources are a valuable short-cut but can't completely replace our own judgement. Building a bigger toolkit is great but you still need to know which tool to pick upLife is a series of experiments with an awful lot of uncontrolled variables. The wonderful/awful thing about asking for feedback is that you might get itWho do you want on your behavior change team?Mentioned
Behavioral Grooves podcastThey thought we were ridiculous: The unlikely story of behavioral economics
Brain/Shift Journal
Nutrition GPA app
Change Academy #134: Why behavioral economics shouldn't be the only tool in the toolbox
Change Academy #123: How to build the circle that supports your best work
Change Academy #50: Motivation and Accountability
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