Episodi
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I’m beingtreated differently since about 2015.
As anadult, I’ve always commanded respect.
I’m tallerthan average for a Dutchman
(who aretaller in general compared to most other countries)
and whileI’m not a body builder or an athlete,
I easilyfill a doorway,
which wasalso why I worked as a bouncer
and coolerand later as a security officer.
I startedto get a bald spot
when I wasbarely in my twenties,
so I shavedmy head,
which addedto the intimidation factor.
Apart frommy size, however,
I tended tolook a bit oafish
— big, but not particularly dangerous,
until Ifocused my attention on someone.
When Iworked security,
myco-workers told me that
while I wasalways calm and soft-spoken,
I lookedlike someone you don’t want to piss off.
Even biggerand stronger men tended to worry
when Ientered into an altercation,
mostlybecause I was so relaxed under tension.
I quitworking security and became
aPre-Conflict Control instructor in 2011,
when I alsobecame a stay-at-home dad.
Suddenly,walking around with my infant son and baby daughter,
I looked lessintimidating,
but morelike a Big Friendly Giant.
In late2014, I was in terrible pain from kidney stones
and hadthree surgeries in 2014–2015.
The lastsurgery cost me my left eye —
it turnedout I had Closed Angle Glaucoma
and thepost-op medication blew up my left eye,
renderingit mostly blind
and theremaining vision 20% was extremely photophobic.
So sensitive to lightthat evenif the light hit my closed eye,
it hurtlike a bitch.
The solution was to cover my eyeand sincethe light would creep around my glasses,
I had towear a patch.
The patchchanged the respect I generally commanded before —
I wasn’t justsimply big,
but the‘pirate patch’ made me look badass.
Iimmediately noticed an enormous shift in attitude —
men wereoften intimidated,
butchildren thought I was the coolest dad ever and women…
before thepatch, if I was interested in women,
I had totake the initiative to flirt with them.
Suddenly,women would approach me and flirt with me,
which wasalmost a shock to me.
A lot ofthe stories here are about
beingtreated respectfully in shops and restaurants.
I noticedthat no matter whether I wore my leathers
Denims
Or a suit
It was thepatch that made sure
that nobodywanted to piss me off by not showing me respect.
Whenever Itake off my patch, the disrespect returns.
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I had a girlfriend
that was from a titled French family in London
for some time during the 80s.
She was always immaculately dressed in designer clothes.
Her mother would not give her the extra money she wanted
so she decided to take a job in Harrods book department
as she had a literature degree.
The customers ignored her
as they thought she was another customer
and staff thought she was a plant from management
so kept away from her.
During one lunch hour
she went to a designer dress shop across the road from thestore
and saw a dress she liked
which cost the whole of her weeks wages, at sale price!
She put a small deposit on it
and said would be back Friday to collect.
She told meabout the dressand I said as I was short of cash
if she gave me the cash
I would buy it on my American express card
and use cash to pay my large company phone bill
and we could go to dinner
and I would pay card back when got bill.
So as we liked to have a bit of fun
the plan went like this….
I worked asan electricianand had long hair, dark glasses, old leather jacket
and new 1000cc BMW motorcycle.
On theFriday she went to the shopand I turned up about 30 seconds later,
parked motorcycle outside
and walked in the shop looking around
as if I was going to rob the place.
The staff looked terrified,
I went to the counter behind her
as the assistant brought the dress out from the rear of theshop.
I moved up beside her and said
“That is a nice dress, would you like me to buy it for you?”
She said something like
that would be very kind of you.
The girl behind the counter did not know what to do!
I reached into my inside leather jacket pocket slowly,
and to the relief of the staff
pulled out a Gold American Express card
and not a gun,
placed card on the counter and said
“charge the dress to this.”
The girl picked up the card
and got on the phone to card company,
passed phone to me
and I answered a couple of questions
and passed back to the girl.
She was shocked that
the card transaction was approved.
As the girl put the dress into a carrier bag
I said to my girlfriend
” It’s a nice day
would you like to come for a ride on my bike?”
She replied yes please.
She followed me out of the shop
with assistants behind her
as she got on the pillion of the bike.
They stood there open mouthed and speechless
as we rode off together.
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Episodi mancanti?
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Geoff was acar salesman for many years.
One nighthe came home
and told methe story of his big sale that day.
A man haddriven into the parking lot
in abeat-up pickup truck,
one bumpertied in place with baling wire,
rust allover it and a cracked windshield.
He and hiswife emerged from the vehicle
and startedwalking around the show lot
looking atcars and drifting towards the trucks.
The man wasvery large,
Geoffestimated 6′5″ and 280 lbs
and wearingbib overalls, a plaid flannel shirt,
well wornboots, and a John Deere baseball cap.
All of hisclothing was showing age, dirt, and stains.
His wifewas very plain and
wearingsimilarly worn clothing, but neat
and shealmost never stopped smiling.
They walkedaround for about 15 minutes
as thesalesmen watched them from the showroom.
All ofthese guys were triple-A personalities
who werelike sharks as salesmen
andnormally would have been fighting
or drawingstraws as to who got the next customer.
Nobodywanted to go talk to these people,
the verydefinition of hayseed goobers
with bigeyes but no money
and theyclearly had nothing to offer as a trade in.
Geoff hadjust finished up showing a customer a few cars
and writingup prices and a trade-in offer
and wasirritated that
the othershad all left these people out there
withouteven a “hello”.
He wentstraight out and started talking to them.
The manwanted to buy a truck
to replacethe one he had driven in on.
He alsowanted to buy his wife a car
becausetheir son had just run their old one
into atelephone pole and totaled it.
Geoff spentabout two hours chatting with them,
getting andgiving information.
He learnedthat they owned and ran a large farm
with 40 horses, 80 head of cattle, otherlivestock,
crops andside businesses running farmland
that othershad leased from him,
and hadabout 20 employees working for him.
When he gotdone
and waswriting up the sale of two brand new,
fullyloaded vehicles, heasked how they would like to pay.
The manreached into his bib overalls
and pulledout a roll as big as his country-ham fist
and said“sorry, I don’t have cash for both of them,
but I’llpay for one with cash and give you a check for the other;
the bank’sopen and you can verify
the fundsare there right now”.
So, becausethese people looked like
dirt-kickerrednecks to the auto sales staff,
Geoff soldtwo top-line vehicles for cash,
earned avery substantial commission,
and madetwo acquaintances
who invitedhim out to their farm to visit,
and thenbecame good friends for the next 30 years.
I got to gowith Geoff to their beautiful farm once;
among thenicest folks I’ve ever met.
What’s thatold saw about not judging a book by its cover….?
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Yes,absolutely.
We hadmoved to a good school district in Milwaukee,
calledWauwatosa, and no, I’m not making up names.
Though wehad to live in a small bungalow
to affordthat school district.
Fortunately,the shops were one street away.
I took myyoung daughters
to theMcDonald’s for lunch once or twice a week.
They werethree and six years old,
and I woremy most comfortable clothes at home with the girls.
That meantshabby jeans with holes in them.
Slightlybaggy. Some cheap top and my Keds.
My pursewas brown leather and extremely worn out,
but Ididn’t want to spend the money to replace it.
Besides, mywallet was equally worn and falling apart.
My girlswore clothes mainly purchased from the second-hand store just down the street.We looked shabby, but comfortable.
AtMcDonalds I never had enough money to buy both girls a Happy Meal,
so whilethey begged for one Happy Meal a piece,
I orderedtwo hamburgers, one french fry and that would be all.
After amonth or two of this,
I wouldopen the bag to find an extra order of french fries,
or twoapple pies, and sometimes an extra hamburger and a pie.
I thoughtMcDonalds was giving me food they were going to throw out,
and I wentabout eating the extras so kindly provided.
Though,strangely, sometimes two Happy Meal toys would be in the bag.
Oneevening, when I was dressed up to head to the theatre,
I was aboutto walk into McDonalds
to buy aBig Mac, when it hit me.
Theemployees thought I had no money!
They heardme tell each daughter
I didn’thave the money for two Happy Meals,
they hadseen me in my comfy, shabby clothes
doling outthe amount owed in change and not dollars.
Theythought I was very poor,
and whilewe weren’t exactly flush with cash,
I did havemoney enough
to go outto the theatre downtown.
I realizedI couldn’t enter that McDoanlds.
Not lookinggood.
I wouldhave felt like an imposter,
a cheat anda scoundrel.
I honestlythought the employees were being kind
andstuffing in an old french fry order or chicken nuggets with sauce.
It didn'toccur to me that
I looked soshabby and poor.
I was astay-at-home mother,
so why onEarth did I need to look put together and nice?
Well, afterthat, my husband and I had a great laugh about it,
and I thinkI went out and bought a purse that wasn’t falling apart at the seams.
I slowlybegan to go to the McDonalds with my kids in their good clothes.
Eventually,the free goodies essentially stopped.
But notthose Happy Meal toys.
I really couldnot afford two of them,
and mygirls would have fought over just one.
The sweetemployees would tuck in two toys for the girls,
and I wasso thankful.
My familystill laughs about those days
and whatMcDonalds did for us.
They wereso sweet.
I knew I hadmade it financially
when Icould order two Happy Meals.
Things werelooking up for the Eppers,
and weeventually bought a larger home
fartherwest in the suburbs.
Thank youMcDonalds for giving
a poor-ishmom enough food and toys
to make thetrip more fun.
Thekindness was much appreciated.
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When myhusband and I married,
I movedinto the 3 story,
old whiteframe house he shared with his father
who was aretired lawyer.
It was afew streets away from a beautiful North Florida beach.
The housewas old, but I was to learn that
it wassturdy enough;
it hadsurvived many hurricanes.
It was sopretty there! I loved it.
The littletown and its charming restaurants and stores were minutes away.
My husbandhad grown up there.
I wasteaching 7th and 8th grade then,
a 45 minutes’drive to the city from our house.
Once home,I would quickly get out of my dress,
hose andheels, (so miserable for the Florida heat)
and throwon some beach appropriate shorts, t-shirt, and flip flops.
My husband,who was taking care of his father
whosuffered from Alzheimer's, was usually doing some research.
He was anhistorian.
I had neverhad a man in my life
who lovedto read as much as I did.
Sometimes,he would even read to me.
It was somuch fun!
We seemedto fit so well.
While theother caregiver was still there,
David wouldjoin me briefly,
as wewalked our little dog to the beach and back.
Once on thebeach where I could finally relax,
we would talk about our day.
On thisday, I happily chattered on about one of the new stores
that hadmoved into the town.
I loved toshop, or at least window-shop.
“Oh, it'sso pretty, just a perfect little boutique!
You shouldsee the window display!
There areall kinds of beautiful lightweight sweaters in the window
that wouldbe perfect for the winter here!”
My sweethusband took Benjy's leash.
“I have toget back and pay Martha before she goes.
But whydon't you walk up there and check out that new store?
I know youdon't have your purse with you,
but askthem to put what you like aside.
We couldpick it up later.
By the way,my treat.”
I knew whathe was doing.
I hadgained a little weight since I'd met him,
and he'dtake any opportunity to encourage me to get more excercise.
Until hewas diagnosed with Crohn's disease,
he'd beenan athlete:
a mountainclimber, a fencer, a surfer.
Of coursehe never mentioned the weight gain,
but I knewhe was worried about my health too.
Mypreferred thing to do when I got home
was to diveinto a book.
I'm awarethat I make terrible choices sometimes!
At thetime, I didn't even think about my clothes,
it wasusually casual in that town.
Theboutique was as glamorous
and theclothes inside were as pretty as I thought they'd be.
I foundsome gorgeous sweaters that would be great for the winter.
I took themto the lovely marble checkout desk.
The welldressed heavily made-up saleswoman
literallysnatched them from my hands
(no, myhands were not dirty).
“Why areyou touching these clothes?
Thesesweaters are VERY delicate and VERY expensive!”
I didn'tknow what to say.
“I know…Ijust…my husband and I live around the corner, and…”
“There areOTHER stores nearby that I believe will suit you better!”
Her voicewas frosty.
I was soembarrassed.
I hurriedhome where my husband was doing some research, smoking his pipe.
“So whatdid you find, my Little Shopper!
I can askMartha if I can pay her extra
to stay afew minutes more tomorrow.
We'll gopay for them and pick them up.
I know you,you don't like to try anything on in the store,
but maybeyou'd better! This place sounds pricey!”
Sadly, Itold him what happened. He hit the roof!
“What! Howdare she!
How dareshe assume.
I'll buyyou every sweater in that store.
I'll buythe most expensive…!”
I stoppedhim laughing.
“You know,I'm not really interested in that store anymore.
If we havesome extra money,
let's takethat trip to St. Augustine that we talked about.
We cancheck out that new Bed and Breakfast we saw.
I bet myparents will drive over and watch your dad.”
I thoughtit was so incredibly sweet of him
to careabout something so simple
as someonewho had treated me badly.
I was usedto men who couldn’t care less.
This was aman who had my back!
Anyway, Inever went back to that store.
Of course,little did I know David would only live about 5 more years.
Therewasn't much for Crohn's disease then.
My little dogwould die a year after that
(she was14. I think she knew how sad I was,
and triedher very best to hang on).
Even my dadwould pass
from amassive heart attack a year after that.
My lifewould change dramatically, as it often and always does--so quickly.
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I was and alwayswill be a tomboy
who grew up inthe country outside of Philadelphia.
I grew up poor,
so I dislikewearing pants or jeans that are short.
And I can’t weardistressed jeans
because itreminds me of being poor.
Still, I am notcomplaining.
It is what itwas.
So I still don’tput much effort into clothing.
I amuncomfortable in anything too pricey,
unless I get itat a thrift store.
And 90 % of myclothing, except underwear and shoes,
comes from athrift type shop.
I am not rich,but not poor.
I showereveryday.
But some peoplejust cannot get past your looks, or your clothing.
They are poorsalespeople.
I wanted topurchase a new vehicle for my mother.
She loved havinga nice Cadillac, used but a great ride.
It was my giftto her and my dad for raising me.
It was tough toraise five kids.
But they triedthe best they could.
As I entered thedealership parking lot.
I was all of 20years old,
wearing a pairof jeans, work boots, and a tee under a flannel shirt.
As I walkedaround, no one came out to greet me.
Finally, Ientered the showroom,
but again, nogreeting.
I walked arounda bit, then saw a man enter in a suit.
Two people wereon him immediately.
I continued tolook at the cars
and decided onthe one I liked.
I sat inside,feeling the real leather seats,
and enjoying the classic style of the car.
Still no onebothered.
As bottled waterwas being offered to the man, I left.
I drove thirtymiles away to another dealership
in a town close to the highway.
I got out of mycar. Immediately,
a man came overwith a water bottle,
and gave me hiscard,
and startedchatting nicely.
He applied nopressure,
and we talkedabout the features of the cars.
He invited meinto the showroom, and continued to chat.
I saw the samecar on the floor, and went to it,
he answered allmy questions.
I bought the carfrom him.
I asked them todeliver it to my parents house
with a giant bowon the roof in two weeks.
They did, and myparents were thrilled - and shocked.
I had just soldmy lawn care business
that I had sinceI was 11.
I had to add abit of cash of my own
to the car deal,but not much.
I would not have been able to start mybusiness
if my dad didn’t drive me to a used lawnmowerlot
on the side of aguys garage/house.
The man let metake the mower, and pay later
when I talkedsome people into
letting me takecare of their lawn, and trim/prune their trees.
The guy hadnever met me or my dad
but he waswilling to let me have the mower without money.
So i pruned thatmans trees for the favor,
he was shockedan 11-year-old knew how to prune trees.
So back to thecar….
Whenever the carcame due for maintenance,
the dealershipdelivered a loaner car to my parents,
did themaintenance, washed the car and cleaned the inside,
and delivered itback to my parents.
I was thankfulthe first dealership ignored me.
I paid areasonable price,
and my parentswere taken care of
by an honest andcaring dealership.
So it all workedout perfectly.
I joined the Navy.Sometimes rude people do you a favor.
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Oh, HELL, yeah!
And if you haven’t tried this, you SHOULD! It’s fun!
那必须的！
如果你没试过，听我的，千万试试！太有意思！
One time long ago when I was “between jobs” as they say, I dressed immaculately in a three-piece suit for a morning interview for a managerial position. (Although I was definitely the winner of the “best-dressed” competition that morning, I wasn’t hired for a very simple reason: somebody else was more qualified. Such is life.)
很久之前，我曾有一段事业空档期，我早晨穿着一套一丝不苟的三件套西装，参加一个经理岗位的面试。（虽然那天我肯定是赢下了“最佳着装奖”，但并没有被录取，理由很简单：有人更适合。这就是生活。）
My wife had decided to “dress up” as well, to meet me for lunch after my interview. Not having a better place nearby, we chose to go to a favorite restaurant of ours we had been to literally dozens of times, both lunch and dinner.
妻子也决定“盛装打扮”一番，想在我面试结束后共进午餐。附近并没什么合适的地方，所以我们决定去那家最喜欢、去了得有几十次的餐厅。
In the southern USA city where I lived at the time, most people dress casually most of the time: T-shirts, shorts and sandals are practical and useful in the heat. You can’t tell the difference between a CEO of a major company and one of his employees without looking carefully at cars, watches, jewelry, shoes, etc.—and sometimes not even then.
当时我所在的那个美国南部城市，大多数人一般都穿得很随意：T恤、短裤和拖鞋在炎热的天气里非常实用。你根本分不清谁是公司总裁、谁是他的员工，除非你仔细地观察他们的车、手表、珠宝、鞋子等等——有时甚至靠这些都不行。
When we arrived for lunch, we had the most EXQUISITE service I had ever had at that place. Drinks were topped off or replaced before they were emptied, the waiter stood attentively close to our table in particular and more. We had a great lunch, so I left a nice tip, too.
到了以后，我们享受到了从来没体验过的极致服务。酒在喝完之前就会被续上或者换一整杯新的，服务员很体贴地特意站在离我们非常近的地方。我们享受了一次非常好的午餐体验，所以我小费给得也不少。
(Which of these people is a CEO? The scowling one, probably.)
（这些人里谁是总裁？估计是愁眉不展那位吧）
The next time we went back there, the service seemed… lackluster somehow. Slow, inattentive… one might even say reluctant. As we left, it hit me. OUR CASUAL CLOTHING! The people had associated our clothing styles, casual versus formal, with our perceived wealth and status. They didn’t seem to register our familiar faces in the fancy clothing, either.
后来我们再去的时候，服务就有点…不知怎的，乏善可陈。慢慢悠悠、毫不在乎…甚至可以说是不太情愿。直到我们要走的时候，我才突然明白，我俩穿得太随意！人们通过我们穿着打扮随意或是正式，联想到我们的财富和地位。他们好像也并不会因为上次盛装而记下我们的模样。
My wife and I talked about it, and we tried it again on another day, “dressing up” for dinner at another place… and got the same outstanding service, at a place that hadn’t been all that special before.
我跟妻子商量了一下，后来有天专门“盛装打扮”去了另一个地方…结果得到了相同的极佳待遇，而这家饭店以前从未有过什么特殊的地方。
Now, anytime we want to go out somewhere for a special event, or just for the experience of being treated as one of the “Gods,” I take out my three-piece suit, cuff-links and all, she dolls up in one of her best, and we hit the town.
现在，无论什么时候我们要出席特殊场合，或者就是单纯地想体验一下被尊为“上帝”的感觉，我就会祭出我的三件套、袖扣之类，而她也会精心打扮，然后向城里出发。
Try it!
大家都试试吧！
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While I was growing up, my family moved every 3 months or so in the middle of the night. We had no time to tell anyone goodbye. We never returned to any of those places and we never knew where we would end up next.
我小时候，我家每三个月搬一次，而且都是在半夜。我们从来没有时间和任何人道别，从来不回到曾经待过的地方，也从不知道接下来会去哪。
I had been told as a teenager that my stepdad had caught his first wife cheating on him and had killed her & the man. Now that I’m an adult, I think the reason for our hasty departures every few months was because someone was after my step-father, and kept catching up with him. This was long before the internet or any way of nationally tracking people.
我十几岁的时候才知道，我继父将他的第一任妻子捉奸在床，然后杀了这对狗男女。现在我做为一个成年人，才想明白我们每隔几个月的匆忙离开是因为有人在追捕我继父，而且一直都紧追着他。当然了，那时还远没有互联网或者任何形式的全国范围追踪手段。
Another family secret: My great-great grandfather owned a southern plantation and had slaves. In all the family photos, there was a black woman. She was the only slave that was ever photographed with the family.
另一个不可外扬的秘密：我的曾曾祖父拥有一座南方的庄园和奴隶。在所有的家庭合照里，有一个黑人女性，她是所有奴隶中唯一一个进入合照的。
My grandmother was an extremely nervous person who was always greatly concerned with proper behavior and the importance of marrying the “right” people (society people with wealth and influence). My mother was the “black sheep” of the family and my grandmother was beside herself with the negative attention she drew to the family.
我的祖母是个极其神经质的人，总是特别在乎合适的言谈举止、婚姻的门当户对（要嫁娶财富、地位相当的人）。我的母亲就是所谓的家中“害群之马”，而我的祖母就一直特别介意她给家庭带来的负面影响。
When I was in my 40’s, my mother gave me some old family photos, including the family photos of my great-great grandfather’s family and photos of my grandmother as a teenager. That’s when it hit me: My grandmother had “passed” for white and married a white man (he surely must have known because he had seen the photos, but he never said a word that I know of). She was no doubt always worried she would be discovered (which was a MUCH bigger deal in those days). That’s why she was so concerned with decorum and marrying the right people.
我40岁时，母亲给我看了些家里的老照片，包括我的曾曾祖父一家和我祖母小时候的。那时我才意识到：我的祖母“通过测试”并嫁给了一位白人（我祖父肯定知道，因为他见过这些照片，但我从未听他提起过这些事），毋庸置疑的是她一直都在担心自己被发现（在当时可是极其严重的）。这也是她特别在意举止得体和婚姻合宜的原因。
My mom had black curly hair, high cheekbones and full lips but light skin. My grandmother’s hair wasn’t so dark but she had tight ringlets and if it weren’t for the fact of her pale skin (she wouldn’t spend time in the sun), any discerning person would suspect she was mixed.
我母亲有着黑色卷发、高颧骨和厚嘴唇，但皮肤是白的。我祖母的头发颜色不深但又密又卷，所以如果不是因为她浅色的皮肤（她从不在把自己暴露在阳光下），任何有洞察力的人都会怀疑她是混血。
For some reason, my family still denies it all, despite the logical conclusions one may draw. My only problem with it is that I’m pretty certain that young woman in my great-great grandfather’s pictures did not enter voluntarily into that affair. That breaks my heart. But I am a good person who has raised fine children and I hope that wherever she is, she is content that her bloodline continues with people who fight for equality and civil rights for all—especially people of color.
出于某些原因，我的家人还是全盘否认这些事情，无论你得出什么逻辑合理的结论。我唯一介意的是，我十分确定那个出现在我曾曾祖父相片内的年轻女孩，绝不是自愿参与那些事的，这让我太难过了。但我是一个养育了很多好孩子的好人，我希望无论她身在何方，都能因自己的血脉延续在了一群为了公平和文明的权利而不懈努力的人——尤其是有色人种身上，而感到欣慰。
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When my now husband and I were dating, I was, for a period of time, the “bread winner” and often treated him and my son to a nice meal out when I wasn’t cooking or for a special occasion. I noticed that he would always order the same meal as me, or something that was the same price or less expensive.
我和现在的丈夫还在约会的时候，曾经有一段时间，我是“负责生计”的那个，不自己下厨或有值得庆祝的事情时，带他和我儿子出去吃饭都是我来付钱。我注意到他总是点和我一样的餐，或相同价位甚至便宜一些的。
When I finally asked him why he did that, rather than getting what he truly desired, he explained that whenever he goes out to eat and isn’t paying, he orders the same thing as the host as a sign of respect. It used to bother me that he wouldn't get what he wanted if he perceived it as too expensive, but I understand that he is the epitome of a Southern gentleman.
当我终于忍不住问他不点自己真正想吃的，而这样做的原因时，他解释说，只要和别人吃饭时自己不付钱，他就点和主人一样的以表示尊重。那时看到他因为觉得贵而不点自己喜欢的菜时，觉得心里特别不是滋味，但我完全理解，因为他是一位典型的南方绅士。
He still has the tendency to do that now, out of habit, but I found out that if I insist that he orders first I can get around it ;)
其实出于习惯，他现在还是经常会这样做，但我发现，如果我执意让他先点菜的话，问题就解决啦！
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Back in the 1980’s, I used to hang around with a guy who would “order a ‘burger and fries’” no matter where we went. I thought he just enjoyed “burgers and fries” a LOT.
上世纪80年代的时候，我曾经有个朋友无论去哪吃饭，只点“汉堡薯条”。我以为他只是特别喜欢吃“汉堡薯条”。
Then I found out something that had been ‘hidden from view’ which I found absolutely astounding:
后来我发现了让我震惊的“幕后真相”。
HE WAS ILLITERATE. He “knew the alphabet”, but was never actually taught to read nor write. He was from Tennessee. His dad had been a miner, who died of black lung. I had no IDEA that this guy couldn’t read. At. ALL. I was pretty amazed but never said anything to him about it. I can’t even imagine the embarrassment that he faced in life.
他不识字。他“认识字母”，但从来没学过读、写。他来自田纳西州，父亲是一个旷工，由于黑肺病去世了。我从来都不知道他竟然不识字，但虽然感到吃惊，我并没有跟他提起过。我实在无法想象他在生活中面临的种种尴尬、难堪。
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This girl doing the Benadryl challenge.
这个参加“苯那君”挑战的女孩子。
“苯那君”
“治疗过敏”
If you don’t know what this challenge is, it’s a really dumb, stupid, idiotic, brainless challenge. What you do is take multiple Benadryl pills – like 10 – and try to not fall asleep. After you fight off the sleepiness, you apparently feel a really good high.
如果你没听过我可以告诉你，它是一个非常愚蠢、白痴、脑残的挑战。你需要做的就是吃很多片苯那君——比如10片——然后坚持不要睡着。当你战胜困意之后，就可以体验到一种非常兴奋的感觉。
People who have experienced this say that they have hallucinations and shaky hands. This, of course, is another TikTok challenge. As its popularity grew, many more people tried it.
经历过的人声称，他们产生了幻觉、双手颤抖。当然了，这是又一个TikTok（抖音国际版）挑战，随着它越发流行，人们前赴后继地尝试、参加。
Obviously, there were really bad consequences. The girl above overdosed and died at fifteen years old because of this stupid challenge. The girl below was on the verge of overdosing but lived.
不出所料，由此出现很多恶劣后果。上面那个女孩年仅15岁就因参加这个挑战，用药过量而不治身亡。下面这位险些有相同遭遇，但是幸运地活下来了。
“我，我的，我已经吃了10片苯那君，想看看，是不是，我哥哥的笔，能给我点知觉”
（明显神志不清的话语）
Many others have tried the challenge.
还有很多人参加了挑战。
“我尝试了下过量用药，不咋好玩儿”（左）
“吃了太多苯那君的我看见有人在我的房间里”（右）
Although I’ve never witnessed someone doing this challenge in person, many of us have watched people basically overdosing in front of us only to ruin their lives or come dangerously close!
尽管我从未亲眼见过谁参加这个挑战，但很多人目睹了有人就在我们眼前，做这种毁掉或几乎毁掉自己一生的事情！
Personally, I have taken this pill before. It made me suddenly fatigued and drowsy. I never took it again because I hated the feeling Benadryl gave me. It made me very tired but when I tried sleeping, I couldn’t sleep and stayed up later than usual. Imagine that!
我其实服用过种药物，给我的感觉就是一瞬间非常疲惫、困倦，后来就再没敢吃过苯那君就是因为无法接受给我带来的感觉。它让我非常累，但当我尝试入睡时又做不到，反而比平时还要熬得晚，你能想象吗！
I think I took two pills that day and I felt so fatigued and had no energy. Imagine taking 10 pills like these people! It’s absolutely crazy and not worth the risk!
没记错的话我应该是吃了两片，就掏空了我所有力气，那想象一下那些吃了10片的人们！这举动纯粹就是疯了，而且完全不值得冒险！
Please do not try this challenge, it is very dangerous and a painful way to die.
请大家千万不要尝试这个挑战，它不仅危险，而且是一种非常痛苦的死法。
译者注：苯那君能消除各种过敏症状。其中枢抑制作用显著，但不及盐酸异丙嗪；尚具有镇静、防晕动及止吐作用，也有抗胆碱作用，可缓解支气管平滑肌痉挛。用于各种过敏性皮肤疾病，如荨麻疹、虫咬症；亦用于晕动症（即晕车、晕机等），恶心、呕吐。
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Don’t discuss politics, religion, race or money with new acquaintances.
不要和人刚认识就讨论政治、宗教、种族或者钱。
These are perfectly fine topics of conversation between close friends and family, but they are considered personal and sensitive matters. It would not be appropriate to bring them up in conversation with a person you just met. “Safe” topics of conversation include sports, the weather, movies, music, books, art, travel, hobbies and your impressions of the US.
这些话题在密友和家人间讨论肯定无碍，但他们都是比较隐私和敏感的事情，如果你刚认识一个朋友就谈及这些，是不合适的。“安全”的聊天内容包括体育、天气、电影、音乐、书、艺术、旅行、兴趣爱好以及你对美国的印象。
Don’t be afraid to share your culture with Americans.
不要怕将自己的文化跟美国人分享。
We’re not exactly the most cosmopolitan people—it comes from living in such a big, geographically isolated country. Many Americans can’t afford the airfare or time off work to travel abroad. But that doesn’t mean we don’t want to hear about where you come from! You’ll find that most Americans are curious about your country, be it Sweden or Somalia.
我们并不是最见多识广的民族——由于居住在如此广阔、地理隔绝的国家。很多美国人负担不起机票或时间去出国旅游，但那并不意味着我们不想知道你从哪里来！你会发现绝大多数美国人对你的国家非常好奇，无论是瑞典还是索马里。
If you are not from western Europe or a major anglophone nation (Australia, New Zealand, Canada) people may not know much about your country or even where it is on a map. Don’t take offense, just talk about daily life where you live (food, work/school, what you do with your friends and family, how it compares to the US) and you will probably find plenty of interest.
如果你并非来自西欧或者英语国家（澳大利亚、新西兰、加拿大），人们可能并不太了解你的国家，甚至不知道它在地图上的位置。别觉得不高兴，就聊聊你家乡的日常（食物、工作/学校、你和朋友家人一起时做什么、和在美国有什么区别）也许你就能发现很多有趣的点。
Don’t be disrespectful to the police.
不要对警察不尊重。
Hopefully you are not planning to break any laws while in the US, but you might still need to deal with the police. Please keep in mind that we do have a gun violence problem in the US, and as such officers tend to be on edge. They don’t know if you have a weapon or not. In many countries, it’s normal to get out of the car to talk with the officer if you get pulled over. Don’t even think about doing that in the US as it will cause the officer to freak out and yell at you to get back in the car.
但愿你在美国期间并不打算做什么违法的事情，但你还是有可能会和警察打交道。请一定记住在美国，确实，存在着枪支暴力问题，因此警察都非常谨慎。他们并不知道你是否携带武器。在很多国家，如果被拦停，下车和警察交涉非常正常。在美国想都别想，因为那会导致他的强烈反应并大声命令你返回车内。
If you get pulled over, roll down the window, turn off the engine, turn on the interior light if it’s dark outside, and then sit still with your hands on the steering wheel. Don’t make sudden movements or reach for things unless you’re asked to provide a document. Also, make sure to carry the proper ID (your driver’s license from home and an international driver’s license should suffice—check with your car rental agency).
如果被拦停，你应该摇下车窗，关闭引擎，如果夜间就打开车内阅读灯，然后把双手放在方向盘上乖乖坐好。不要作出突然的动作或伸手去够什么东西，除非他要求你提供文件。同时，确保携带有效身份证件（你的本土驾照、国际驾照应该就足够了——当然了，最好在租车的地方确认好）。
Don’t expect service workers to clean up after you.
不要想着让服务人员给你收拾卫生擦屁股。
Always clean up after yourself. Littering is illegal and you may have to pay a big fine if you get caught. If you go out to eat, don’t make a mess and leave garbage everywhere. The service staff are not your personal servants.
尽量自己完成。乱扔垃圾是违法的，如果被抓到会面临不低的罚款。如果出去吃饭，不要弄得一团糟、垃圾丢满地，服务员并不是你的佣人。
Don’t invade people’s personal space.
不要侵犯个人空间。
Comfortable speaking distance in the US is about an arm’s length. If you stand closer than this you will make people nervous. When adults are formally introduced or meet for the first time, they usually shake hands. Hugs are for close friends and family (and straight guys don’t usually hug each other). Hand holding is for couples, or parents and small children. Kissing on both cheeks is seen as something European, and only very cosmopolitan people in big cities ever do it.
在美国，较为舒服的交谈距离是一臂，站得比这还近的话会让人很紧张。成年人在第一次介绍、认识时，通常会握手，而拥抱只适用于亲密的朋友和家人之间（直男一般也不拥抱）。拉手是情侣或父母和自己的小孩子间的行为。亲两侧的脸颊是欧洲的习俗，只有大城市里非常国际化的人才会这么做。
Don’t insult US armed service members or veterans.
不要侮辱军人或老兵。
Americans revere the military, and those who serve or have served are honored as heroes. It’s okay to disagree with certain wars or military actions that the US was involved in—lots of Americans do too—but don’t criticize or insult the institution of the military, or armed service members or veterans. The person you are talking to may be a veteran themselves or have family members who served.
美国非常尊敬军人，无论现役还是已经退伍。你对某个美国参加的战争或军事行动可以有异议——很多美国人都有——但不要批评甚至羞辱部队、军人或老兵，你谈话的对象可能就是退伍军人或家中有人服役过。
Don’t look grumpy or sulky.
别总是忿忿不平、闷闷不乐的。
Americans smile a LOT! A friendly smile, eye contact and a firm handshake when you meet someone new will help you make a good impression. Outside the big cities, it’s normal to smile and say “hi” to strangers, and stop to chat with people you know.
美国人非常爱微笑！一个友好的微笑、眼神交流和紧紧的握手，会在和人初识时给对方留下非常好的印象。在大城市之外的地区，向陌生人打招呼、驻足和认识的人聊天是很稀松平常的事情。
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Don’t overbook your visit.
不要把行程安排得太满。
If you only have two or three weeks in the US, don’t try to hit every major attraction in the country. You can’t, and you’ll exhaust yourself trying. It’s a better idea to plan a trip in one or two regions of the country, based on your personal interests.
如果你在美国只有两三周的时间，就别琢磨着能把所有的主要景点都逛完了。你真的逛不完，尝试的过程会让你筋疲力尽。较为合理的做法是根据你自己的兴趣，选择一两个地区进行游玩：
Southern California or Florida if you love theme parks. The East Coast corridor (Boston, Philadelphia, NYC, Washington DC) for history and museums. Hawaii for beaches, volcanoes and surfing. If you love the outdoors, try the national and state parks in Wyoming, Montana, Colorado, Alaska, Utah, California, Washington or Oregon.
喜欢主题公园的话，可以去南加州或佛罗里达州；东海岸地区（波士顿，费城，纽约，华盛顿DC）主要内容是历史和博物馆；夏威夷的特点则是海滩，火山和冲浪；如果你是户外爱好者，可以去这几个地区的国家公园/州公园：怀俄明州、蒙大拿州、科罗拉多州、阿拉斯加州、犹他州、加州（加利福尼亚州）、华盛顿州或俄勒冈州。
A road trip is a classic, all-American way to see large parts of the country. It will cost more money and take more time than you think. I would say three to four weeks is the minimum, if you want to cross from one coast to the other at a leisurely pace, with time to stop and see things on the way.
自驾游是一个非常经典的美国全民出行方式，如果你想多逛些地方的话可以选择，但它比你想象中的花费要高得多，无论是钱还是时间。我个人觉得最少你需要腾出3-4周的时间，才能以一种比较舒适的速度横跨美国大陆，并在途中自在地游览、休息。
Do keep in mind that a lot of the “heartland” (the area between the coastal states) is empty and really boring. There are wonderful things to see in the middle of the country, but expect hours and hours of driving past cows, oil wells, and endless open land. Download some good audiobooks.
值得注意的是，很多“中心地带”（就是在海岸州之间夹着的内陆州）空空荡荡，索然无味。确实不乏一些有趣的看点，但你得准备好长时间驾车经过牛群，油井和漫无边际的空旷地。下点有声书会是个明智的选择。
Don’t settle for bad food.
不要吃得太将就。
There is amazing food in the US, you just have to seek it out. Please don’t eat fast food for your entire visit and then complain that the food was bad!
美国有很多美食，你只是需要一双发现它们的眼睛。千万别全程只知道吃垃圾食品，然后又抱怨吃得太差！
Most major cities, states and regions have their own food specialties. Lobster in Maine. New York style pizza in NYC, or deep-dish pizza in Chicago. Gumbo and jambalaya in Louisiana. Giant burritos in California. Tex-Mex in Texas and the southwest. Barbecue in Memphis. Grilled salmon in the Pacific Northwest. Philly cheesesteaks. Georgia peach pie.
大部分的主要城市、州和地区都有自己独特的美食。缅因州的龙虾；纽约的“纽约式”pizza，或芝加哥的深盘多料pizza；路易斯安纳州的秋葵和卡津人什锦杂烩饭；加州超大的墨西哥馅饼；德州和西南地区的德州特色墨西哥餐厅；孟菲斯的户外烧烤；西北大西洋地区的烤三文鱼；费城的奶酪牛肉三明治；乔治亚州的桃味馅饼。
Research and seek these out. Ask locals you meet for their restaurant recommendations. Try the local wine or beer, and maybe the local ice cream too!
你需要自己边查边找。可以找你遇到的当地人推荐餐厅，顺便尝尝当地的红酒或啤酒，也许还有特色冰淇淋也说不定！
If you’re visiting a big city, you can find excellent food from all over the world, from Ethiopian to Thai to Mexican. Food carts are gaining in popularity in many American cities as well. They often serve really innovative and tasty food for less than the restaurant price.
如果是在游览大城市的话，你能吃到来自世界各地的美食，从埃塞俄比亚特色食品、到泰式菜、到墨西哥餐应有尽有。现在在美国许多城市，小餐车也越来越多了，他们经常贩卖一些不仅新颖、美味，而且价格比餐厅便宜不少的小吃。
Don’t count on speaking any language besides English.
不要指望通过英语以外的语言和人交流。
Most Americans only speak English and will expect you to do the same. If you go to a doctor or hospital they can call an interpreter for you, but otherwise you need to speak English fluently to get around. You could probably manage with just Spanish if you are visiting the southwest, but keep in mind it will be a Mexican/Latin American dialect. It’s best to brush up on your English skills before your visit.
大多数美国人只说英语，同时他们希望你也一样。除非你去医院就医，他们会帮你找一名口译，其他情况你必须有流利的英文能力才能应付各种局面。也许在西南地区，你的西班牙语能派上用场，但要记住那里的人都有很浓的墨西哥或南美口音。所以，最好还是在出发前把你的英语好好捡捡吧！
Don’t stress out about clothes.
不要总纠结穿什么。
Outside the big East Coast cities, the US is a very casual country. You’ll see people in workout clothes, sweats and sneakers everywhere. A common outfit in the US, for both men and women, is jeans, a T-shirt, sneakers, and a fleece jacket or hooded sweatshirt depending on the weather. Only very nice restaurants require men to wear sports coats.
除了东海岸那些大城市，美国是个非常随意的地方。你会发现穿着健身服、宽松毛衣和运动鞋的人到处都是。无论男女，最常见的装扮就是牛仔裤，T恤，运动鞋，随季节变化的羊毛夹克衫或带帽运动衣。只有那些高档餐厅才会要求男士必须着西装上衣。
Do some research on the local climate during the dates of your visit, and pack comfortable clothes that are appropriate for the expected weather conditions and the activities you plan on doing. If you forget something, you can buy it here (and if you’re from Europe, you’ll probably be pleasantly surprised by the low clothing prices!).
提前了解当地的气候动态，带上与天气和你想进行的活动对应的衣物。当然了，如果忘了带什么，这里也可以买到（如果你是从欧洲来的，也许会惊喜地发现这里的东西真的便宜！）。
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On a bus, a man leaned against the window, finished a cigarette leisurely, and then threw it out of the window.
公车上，一个人倚在窗边，惬意地抽完一根烟，然后弹出窗外。
A second later, a fast-moving taxi suddenly turned around and crashed into the roadside green belt.
随后，一辆飞驰的出租车突然转向，冲进路边的绿化带中。
Half a month later, a fire broke out in a factory, and tens of millions of assets were instantly destroyed.
半个月后，一家工厂失火，瞬间损失数千万资产。
One month later, the man who threw the cigarette butt quit smoking because he lost his job.
一个月后，往窗外扔烟屁股的那位，戒烟了，因为他失业了。
The reason why he was unemployed was that his factory went bankrupt.
他失业的原因是他之前所在的工厂破产了。
The reason why the factory went bankrupt was that a big fire had burned up the factory half a month ago.
工厂破产的原因是半月前焚毁它的一场大火。
The cause of the fire in the factory was that an engineer who had been invited to renovate the fire-fighting facilities of the factory a month ago had an accident and was hospitalized.
导致工厂失火的原因，是受雇去检修厂内灭火设施的工程师一个月前出车祸住院了。
The reason for the engineer's car accident was that his taxi suddenly rushed into the green belt.
这位工程师出车祸的原因，是他乘坐的出租车冲进了绿化带。
The reason the taxi rushed into the green belt was that a burning cigarette suddenly fell into the driver's collar.
而出租车冲进绿化带的原因，是一个燃烧的烟头突然掉进了司机的领子里。
（译者注：对相关题材感兴趣的朋友，推荐系列电影《蝴蝶效应》）
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1. Do NOT assume “the list price is the final price” on anything. Always ask if there’s tax, which will usually be provided to you as a percentage (“Item costs $8.99 with 11.25% sales tax” so just multiply 8.99 by 1.1125 and that’s your final price). 不要以为“账单上的价格就是最终价格”，任何情况都一样。每次都要问是否含税，而税一般都会以百分比形式呈现给你（“商品价格8.99美元，销售税11.25%”，那么8.99 x 1.1125才是你真正要付的价格）。
Tax in the US is supposed to be transparent, and separate, which is why you’ll almost never see “tax included in price”.在美国，税本应是透明的，且需和消费金额分开，这也是你基本不会看到“价格含税”这类标注的原因。
（译者注：实际上我遇到的餐厅账单基本都是直接标注税的价格，而非百分比，如下图。可能因地区而异，大家注意观察清楚就好）
2. Do NOT be afraid to go to the hospital if you need to. Our payer system is a trainwreck but our healthcare is pretty good. Just be sure to go to a public hospital- They’ll give you service and treatment and then a bill, but they won’t make you pay it then. 不要害怕去医院，如果真的有需要。我们的支付系统乱得就像车祸现场，但医疗体系还是相当不错的。只要确定自己去的是公立医院 – 他们提供完服务和治疗后会给你一份账单，但并不会逼你付款。
And their likelihood of attempting to collect is almost (But never absolute) zero. You can pay cash for most common prescription painkillers at a pharmacist, and although they’re not free, they’re pretty cheap.而且他们找你催收的可能性也几乎（注意是几乎）是零。一般的处方类止痛药你都可以用现金在药房买到，虽然不免费，但真的很便宜。
3. Do NOT forget your specialty prescription drugs. If you’ve got conditions that require constant medication, try and bring MORE THAN YOU NEED for your trip. Although many docs will write you a script here (especially if you have a bottle with your name on it from your country of origin) there’s TONS of medication that’s laughably priced if you don’t have insurance. 不要忘记你的专科处方药。如果你需要长期服药，出行时尽量多带些额外剂量。尽管很多医生都不会拒绝给你开处方（尤其是你带了一瓶上面写有你名字的药瓶时），但如果你没有医疗保险，你会见识到各种药品贵得有多么可笑。
And I’m talking common stuff like Diabetes, heart problems, skin problems, liver or kidney issues and more. I can’t stress this enough. Also, if you are suffering from PTSD, anxiety or panic attacks and you’ve been prescribed benzodiazapenes like Clonapin or Xanax, make SURE you bring enough- getting benzos in the US is becoming more and more difficult.而且我说的就是那种常见类别，例如糖尿病，心脏病，皮肤病，肝脏或者肾脏疾病等等。这一点我觉得自己强调多少遍都不够。同时，如果你患有创伤后应激障碍，焦虑或惊恐并且被医生开了苯二氮卓类药物例如氯氮平或佳乐定，千万记住自己带了足够的剂量 – 在美国找这类药物现在已经变得越来越难。
4. Do NOT underestimate the size of the US. Many entire countries will fit nicely into a single US metro area. If you’re in San Francisco, you’re not taking a “day trip” to Oregon, Washington or even Los Angeles.不要低估美国有多大，很多国家面积也就和美国一个大都会地区相当。如果你在旧金山，就别琢磨能去俄勒冈，华盛顿甚至是洛杉矶“一日游”了。
5. Do NOT assume that what is acceptable in one state is acceptable in another. Treat them like separate countries (Because they are) with separate values, morals and ethics. (Example: California is extremely liberal, whilst Oklahoma is extremely conservative - learn local customs)不要觉得一个东西或一件事在某州被接受认可，在另一个州就也一个样儿。把州和州看成是（其实本来就是）拥有不同价值观，道德观和伦理观的独立国家。（举例：加州自由主义盛行，文化非常前卫开明，而俄克拉何马州就极其保守 – 所以大家要入“州”随俗）（译者注：所谓联邦，实际就是由多个国家联合组成一个大国，因此大家不要听闻“美国人是什么什么样子”或“美国是什么样子”的各种传言后就一概而论，不同地区的居民之间，所见所闻可能大相径庭，因为就好比中国的南北差异一样，美国的文化多样性也是极强的）
6. Do NOT rely on news or movies to paint a picture for you. I’ve lived in lots of major metro areas across the US for decades. I have never: Seen a mugging, a murder, a street fight, a riot, a kidnapping, a drive-by shooting or police brutality. I know they exist and they happen, but they’re not as common as the media portrays.不要轻信新闻或电影为你描绘的画面。我在美国很多个中心大都会地区住了几十年，我从来没有：见到一次抢劫、谋杀、街斗、暴乱、绑架、飞车射击或者警员暴行。我知道这些都存在、也会发生，但是完全不像媒体描述得那样普遍。
7. Do NOT assume you’re perfectly safe (Flipside of 6). For example: Do not leave your vehicle unlocked when unattended. Do not leave valuables in your hotel/hostel. Do not leave your door unlocked to your hotel/motel/AirBnB. Do not flash cash in public and don’t let anyone know how much cash you actually have.不要以为你是绝对安全的（上条的另一面）。例如：下车后走远的话不要忘记锁门。不要把贵重物品遗留在酒店或旅舍里。住的酒店、汽车旅馆、爱彼迎房间一定要上锁。不要在公共场合暴露自己的现金，更不要让别人知道你携带了多少。
Do not go to the bathroom and leave your bag or purse at the table, unless you are not alone. Do not walk alone at night in most metro areas (Rural you’re far more safe). Remember that just like most places, US criminals are opportunistic. They don’t want violence- they just want your stuff. If it’s too much of a hassle to get, they’ll target someone else.去洗手间时不要把包放在桌上，除非你有同伴。在大部分都会地区夜晚不要独自出行（乡间要安全很多）。记住就像大多数地区一样，美国的罪犯也都是一直在寻找机会的。他们并不喜欢暴力 – 仅仅是喜欢你的东西而已。如果要大费周章才能得手，他们会另择目标。
8. Do NOT underestimate the vastness of the US wildlands. If you walk out in to the Mojave desert unprepared and thinking you’re just on a day hike, you probably won’t be coming back. if you’re stranded in the wildlands, including national parks and depending where you are, help is hours away.不要低估美国荒野的广阔程度。如果你毫无准备地走进莫哈维沙漠，想来个徒步一日游，多半你是回不来了。如果你被困在无人区，包括国家公园，救援到达可能需要数个小时，当然这因你所在的地区而异。 -
Don’t get out of your car if you get pulledover by police.
绝对不要在被警察勒令停车后下车，乖乖待在车内不要动！
I was pulledover by a police officer while driving in Iowa. It was one week after I hadarrived in the USA for the first time. I had accidentally made a minor mistakedisobeying a traffic sign.
我在爱荷华州开车时被警察拦下了。那是我第一次去美国，刚到一周左右，在路上不当心，没有看到交通标志所以违章了。
Back home inAustralia it’s considered polite to get out of your car and walk over to thepolice officer’s car and hand him your license so he doesn’t have to getout of his seat. I wanted to be extra polite so I immediately jumped out of mycar and walked towards his car while reaching into my back pocket.
在澳大利亚，遇到这种情况我们一般都会从自己的车上下来，然后走到警车前递上自己的驾照，以便警官不需费力下车。当时，我迫切想要把澳洲人最尊敬有礼的一面展现给这位美国警官，所以立刻就从车上跳下来，一边朝警车走，一边掏屁股后面的口袋。
I’m lucky to bealive.
我能活下来简直是祖坟冒了青烟了。
If you come froma gun-free country like the UK or Australia you don’t have any natural instinctfor gun culture. You don’t realize that police assume that everyone is armed.
如果你来自像英国、澳洲这种禁枪的国家，那你对枪的文化根本就一点都不敏感。你意识不到在警察眼里，每个人都是携带武器的。
Things gotimmediately serious. The police officer’s hand went to his weapon and Iresponded by dropping to my knees with my hands up. He yelled a bunch of thingsat me but my memory is vague because my heartbeat was suddenly pulsing in myears blotting out all sound.
说时迟那时快，气氛一瞬间就变了味。这位警官立刻摸向了自己的配枪，而我的反应速度也不输他，举手、跪地，一气呵成！（译者注：咳咳不好意思这里有点演绎了。。）他冲我叽里咕噜喊了好几句，但我大脑一片空白，因为我的耳朵除了自己的心跳，已经什么也听不到了。
I don’t know ifhe drew his weapon or not. I was staring intently at the ground, shaking andtrying to project non-threatening vibes. My next memory is that there werethree police cars around me and a bunch of cops who’d been called for backup.They were all keeping their hands close to their guns.
我不知道他是否拔出了配枪。我专注地盯着地面，浑身颤抖，尽可能地表现出自己没有任何威胁。我能想起来的下一个画面就是围着我有三辆警车，以及被呼叫增援而赶来的一批警察，他们的手都扶在自己的配枪上。
After some timepassed (a minute? 30 minutes? I have no idea) the tensions de-escalated andthey told me to get up. I gave the officer my license and tried to explain whyI’d approached him. It was completely incomprehensible to him that there was aplace where people don’t fear cops and vice versa at traffic stops. It was asthough I was trying to tell him that I came from Narnia and our cops were alltalking animals.
过了一段时间（一分钟？还是三十分钟？我根本一点意识都没有），紧张的气氛有所缓解，然后他们让我站起来。我把自己的驾照递过去，并尝试对他解释我为什么下车走向他。他表示完全无法理解，世界上竟然存在一个地方在这种情况下，人们完全不怕警察，警察也不怕人！他感觉的感觉就是，我声称来自于纳尼亚（译者注：魔幻故事中的大陆），而我们那里的警察全都是会开口说话的动物！
I’ve spoken toseveral British people, New Zealanders, and Australians who have shared almostidentical stories. They really need to put signs up in all major US airports.
我认识几位有几乎相同经历的英国人、新西兰人和澳大利亚人。我觉得美国人真该在每个大型机场都设置警示牌才对！
Don’t get out ofyour car if stopped by police. They will assume you are armed and they mightshoot you.
所以，如果被警察拦停，千万不要下车！他们会误以为你有武器，可能因此向你开枪！
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This French General of Africandescent was so badass that even Napoleon was jealous of him. Hisenemies referred to him as the, “Black Devil.”
下图这位非裔的法国将军可太硬汉了，以至于拿破仑都非常嫉妒他。敌人将他称为，“黑恶魔”。
· His father was a Frencharistocrat and his mother a Haitian woman. He was raised in a typicalaristocratic fashion and his father spared no expense in his militaryeducation.
· 他的父亲是法国贵族，母亲是海地人。他在典型的贵族家庭中长大，父亲并没有给他提供任何军事教育。
For a man of the18th century, he appeared a fearsome giant. Six-foot-two tall and insanelystrong, Thomas-Alexandre Dumas was like Hercules.
在18世纪，人群中的他就像是一个可怕的巨人。高达6尺2寸（约1.89米）并极其强壮的托马·亚历山大·仲马给人的感觉就是神话中的大力神。
During theFrench Revolution, he joined the French army and quickly moved through theranks due to his skill in swordsmanship, strength, and ingenuity in battletactics. He gained glory, fame and everyone in Paris knew his name.
在法国革命期间，他加入了法军，并借由出众的剑术，力量和战术策略上的足智多谋迅速成长、平步青云。战功、荣誉让仲马声名鹊起，他的名字在巴黎家喻户晓。
Here is a listof his badassery.
给大家展示几个他的硬汉事迹：
· He single-handedly defeated adozen Austrian soldiers, captured twelve as prisoners and led them back to hiscamp. He also did this a second time and took sixteen prisoners.
· 他单枪匹马击败了一打奥地利士兵，俘虏了12人并将他们带回营地。此壮举他不止完成一次，第二次他俘虏了16个。
· Thomas-Alexandre Dumas wasn’tafraid to lead his own men into battle from the front. He successfully defeatedan Austrian cavalry, captured a whole city and took 1500 prisoners all in oneday!
· 托马·亚历山大·仲马从不畏惧带领自己的队伍冲锋在最前线。他成功击溃了一支奥地利骑兵部队，占领整座城市并俘虏1500人，而这些仅仅发生在一天之内！
· When his horse was shot fromunder him, General badass refused to be taken down and used his dead horse as acover from musketfire. As soldiers charged, he took them down with each strokeand held the cavalry back before reinforcements came.
· 当他骑的战马被射杀后，硬汉将军并没有被击倒，而是用它来抵挡对方的火力。每每有敌军士兵冲锋至前，他都能设法击溃并拖住了整个骑兵团，直至援军到来。
· He saved his future wife’svillage during the French Revolution and that’s how they met and fell in love.
· 他在法国大革命期间救下了自己未来妻子的整个村子，这也是他们爱情故事的开始。
Because of his battle prowessand reputation as an excellent military tactician, Dumas became a general inNapoleons campaign in Egypt. During a revolt that centered in the Grand Mosqueof Cairo, he famously captured the Grand Mosque and scattered the rebels. Napoleonadmired this feat but was also jealous.
由于他在军事上表现出的杰出战略才能和积累的威望，仲马在拿破仑东征埃及的战役中被提拔为将军。
在一次大清真寺附近爆发的起义中，他占领了大清真寺并驱散了反抗军。拿破仑非常欣赏这一壮举，但同时又使得他心生妒忌。
In later years, Napoleoncommissioned an artist to paint this historical victory but erased GeneralDumas and instead had himself painted entering the mosque.
后来，拿破仑命一位艺术家将这一历史性的胜利记录在画卷上，却抹去了仲马将军，换自己取而代之。
· The Revolt of Cairo would behistorically accurate if it was a black man carrying the sabre.
· 战争名画《开罗起义》上如果举着军刀的是一位黑人将军，才真正符合历史真相。
Compared to Napoleon’s small stature,Dumas cut a dashing figure and this stirred jealousy. The chief medical officerwrote that the Egyptians were dismayed when they caught sight of Napoleonbecause of how, “short and skinny he was.”
跟拿破仑瘦小的身形比起来，仲马简直就是英姿飒爽、魅力无穷，这就更招致了嫉妒。首席医务官的回忆录中写道，埃及人看到拿破仑时都惊呆了，因为他，“实在太瘦小了”。
In comparison, he wrote thatDumas with his powerful physique atop his horse appeared formidable and like acentaur. The populace would often wrongfully assume he was the leader of theexpedition.
而在他描绘的仲马将军则是身形矫健、骑在战马上威风凛凛，犹如传说中的半人马。民众经常误以为他才是远征军的统帅。
Unlike Napoleon’s lackeys,Dumas wasn’t afraid to speak his mind and criticized the Egyptian campaign,especially after Admiral Nelson defeated the French navy. After a lengthyquarrel, Dumas left the Egyptian campaign to return to France but was capturedaboard his ship and languished two years in prison.
拿破仑身边的人只知溜须拍马，但仲马从来都不避讳表达自己对待这场远征的负面论调，尤其是在尼尔森带领英国皇家海军大破法国海军之后。经过长时间的争论后，仲马退出了战役打算返回法国，却在中途被捕，饱受了两年牢狱之苦。
After his release, Napoleonremained bitter to the end and blocked any financial assistance to Dumas andhis family. When one of Napoleon’s generals brought up General Dumas, EmperorNapoleon stomped his foot and said, “I forbid you ever to speak to meof that man.”
在他被释放后，拿破仑直到最后都不允许任何人资助仲马一家。有次麾下一位将军提起了仲马将军，帝国皇帝气急败坏地警告他，“这是我最后一次听到你提他的名字。”
Thomas-Alexander Dumas died in1806 but Napoleon’s hopes to diminish his legacy never came to fruition.
托马·亚历山大·仲马于1806年逝世，但拿破仑想贬低他名望的意图却一直未得以实现。
Before his death, he wouldtell his young son, Alexandre Dumas, stories about his adventurous and heroicdays. That son grew up to become a renowned and celebrated author of “TheThree Musketeers” and “The Count of Monte Cristo.”
他还在世时向儿子，亚历山大·仲马，讲述了自己那些峥嵘岁月。这个孩子长大后成为了举世闻名的作家，著有《三个火枪手》和《基督山伯爵》。
AlexandreDumas resurrected his father in stories of glory, honour, chivalry and heroism.
亚历山大·仲马在故事中重塑了自己父亲的光辉，荣誉，骑士精神和英雄气概。
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When the RMS Titanic hiton iceberg on April 14, 1912, even the ship’s staff was in a state of panic. Noone stepped up to the plate to take charge. In fact, most of the staff wererunning around just as frantically as the passengers.
So, our boy Charles steppedin.
这时候，我们的主角查尔斯登场了。
Charles was head baker andfittingly, his first order of business was sending loaves of bread to thelifeboats so people would have food to last until they were rescued.
查尔斯是船上第一烘培师，凭借着这个身份，他下达的第一个命令就是将大批面包送至救生船上，以便人们在被营救之前有食物充饥。
He continued by helping othersonto their boats until he reached his own. Only instead of hopping on, heforced a group of women and children on, saving their lives.
同时他继续帮助旅客和船员有序地登上救生船，直到来到自己那一艘前。但查尔斯并没有登船，而是命令一组妇孺取代自己的位置，使他们得以生还。
The icy water filled the shipquickly and Charles was fully aware that his chance of survival was slim atbest, so he did what any person would do: get drunk out of their mind.
冰冷的海水迅速灌入船舱，查尔斯很清楚自己生存的希望已经微乎其微，因此他做出了所有人都会选择的举动：喝他个酩酊大醉！
He went to his cabin and gotas much whiskey as he could. On his way, he threw chairs into the ocean forpeople to use as flotation devices.
他回到自己的船舱内把所有威士忌酒都翻了出来，与此同时，他还不忘边走边向海中扔椅子，以便落水的人们可以用来抓住漂浮。
And then he jumped off theboat, into freezing water.
然后他就从船上跳进了冰冷的海水中。
He spent hours in the unforgivingAtlantic ocean.
他在无情的大西洋里坚持了数个小时。
Most died in minutes.
大多数人几分钟就被吞噬了生命。
The alcohol coursing throughhis body fought off the cold and kept him alive.
体内流动的酒精此时成了他的救命稻草，帮助查尔斯抵御寒冷，挣扎求生。
“I was just paddling andtreading water,” he said.
“我能做的就只有不停踩水让自己不沉下去而已。”他说。
As dawn broke, he found alifeboat and swam towards it, only to find that there was no space for him.
破晓时分，他发现了一艘救生船，可当他奋力游到近前才发现，上面并没有再容纳任何人的空间。
Luckily, another nearby boathad room and he managed to climb on. They were rescued soon after and there wasno illness or injury to even prove he’d been in the water.
幸运的是，查尔斯成功登上了附近另一艘还有一席之地的救生船。很快他们就获救，并且落水的遭遇并未对他身体造成丝毫损伤。
Charleswould go on to join the Navy and died at 78, living a full life thanks to somewhiskey.
查尔斯后来加入了海军并一直活到了78岁，这一切都归功于那几口威士忌酒。
