Episodi
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When it feels like success and fulfillment continue to elude you even when you think youâre doing all the right things and making the right moves, it can be a real mindf*ck.
Whatâs holding you back? Whatâs the block? Why is it always one step forward, two steps back?
Todd Bertsch wrestled with this question for years.
He grew up in the 1970s and 1980s in a lower middle-class family where they didnât really discuss their values or have a lot of those poignant teaching moments you saw in the popular TV sitcoms at the time.
Todd learned by watching and observing, and what he picked up was good enough: the value of hard work from parents who had multiple jobs and side-hustles, the value of inclusion from living in an ethnically mixed neighborhood, and the value of teamwork from playing sports. When he wanted something, he went to work and made the money to buy it.
These same values carried him into early adulthood, where he worked his way through college as a janitor and graduated with honors, worked in jobs involving marketing, graphic design, web development, and other pursuits at the height of the tech boom. Then he decided it was time to put all that to good use and start his own business. Today, Todd is a successful entrepreneur and podcast host with a great family, and everythingâs fine. Check out his website to learn more. The End. Now, letâs bring Todd on and get started with the interview.
Right? WRONG!
Todd struggled through that path much more than he needed to because everything was NOT fine. Remember, Fine is a 4-Letter Word.
Underneath all that, Todd had a hell of a temper. It showed up when he constantly got ejected from sports games, so much so he became âfamousâ in his town for being red-carded at soccer more than any kid in the whole league. In his 20s, he lived in a house that was basically a drug den, until he got in a really bad argument with two guys who beat the f*ck out of him! Looking back at some of his interactions at companies he worked for, he says that if the person he was back then worked for him, heâd have fired his ass!
And then it all changed. In a moment, when you meet Todd, youâll find out that it wasnât really some dramatic shift in who he was or how he did life, but more a decision not to be so trigger-tempered. Youâll discover what support systems he relied upon, what inspired and motivated him, and how the practice of Positive Intelligence not only improved his results, but enabled him to mentor others.
Toddâs hype song is âEye of the Tigerâ by Survivor.
Resources:
Todd Bertschâs website: https://www.toddbertsch.com/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toddmbertsch/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theboltwithtoddb Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theboltwithtoddb/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@theboltwithtoddb YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@theboltwithtoddb Podcast: https://www.toddbertsch.com/podcast/Invitation from Lori:
Let me ask you, if there was a simple way to reclaim your peace of mind and
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As humans, weâre designed for interdependence â we cannot go it alone. Weâre designed to be part of networks and complement each otherâs journeys. The title of this episode is one of the reasons I started this podcast â to help listeners know theyâre not alone in their feelings and life journey.
But what happens when, due to your levels of sensitivity and empathy, you become so much in service to the feelings and needs of others that not only does it hold you back, but it holds others back?
Scott Hackman, growing up as a highly sensitive child before terms like âempathâ entered the vernacular, thought everything was fine, all things considered, before his own value system hit him like a ton of bricks flying in out of nowhere.
Growing up, he learned the value of service toward others, more by having it modeled by his family and what he gleaned on the surface from religion than someone sitting down and explaining it to him.
This carried Scott through several iterations of his journey â his marriage, his time working in religious ministry, when he was involved in the family business selling coffee, and then to his work with entrepreneurs helping them design succession and saleability plans in their businesses.
Overall, he seemed to be on a journey of growth and everything seemed fine.
But Fine is a 4-Letter Word.
Along with having learned the value of service, Scott was also exposed to traumas as a result of unspoken and not consciously acknowledged generational patterns. All that service actually took the form of people-pleasing, and it became more of a survival skill. In his early 30s, Scott found himself admitted to inpatient psych due to suicidal ideation.
As I said⊠it seemed to come out of nowhere like a ton of bricks.
In a moment, when you meet Scott, youâll discover his fascinating learning journey toward a new level of self-actualization that he didnât know existed â that in fact, many donât know exists.
Among other things, youâll learn about the difference between a recovery mindset and a growth mindset, and how these things intertwine. Youâll also see that itâs possible to find good things in bad situations â to essentially go back and rewrite chapters of your life so the story serves you, now and in the future.
And, youâll discover why Scott says that he and his wife, who heâs been with the whole time, have so far had at least four marriages.
This will amaze you.
Scottâs hype songs are listed on his Spotify playlist, âYouâre Not Aloneâ.
Resources:
Scott Hackmanâs website: https://scotthackman.com/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/scotthackman/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ScottHackmanVentures Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/scott_hackman/Invitation from Lori:
Let me ask you, if there was a simple way to reclaim your peace of mind and not feel so frazzled, would you want to know what it is? Enter the â10 Proven Habits Top Leaders Use to Stay Calm and Focused Every Dayâ checklist â your quick guide to creating calm, intentional days.
These practices are so incredibly simple, you'll probably question their effectiveness. Like, how could just doing THAT alleviate my stress?!
But take my word - and all the science and research that's been done on these methods -...
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Episodi mancanti?
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In a world where women are told to have it all, do it all, and be it all, the reality they face while actually trying to do these things is far more complex.
The pay gap looms large â over the span of a career, it takes 132 years to close â while the confidence gap, the leadership gap, and the broken rung in the corporate ladder persist.
Erica Anderson Rooney has faced all these challenges intimately, personally, and head-on as sheâs climbed the ranks to the C-suite while raising a family. But wait â thereâs more.
Erica grew up as the daughter of parents who divorced when she was very young. Both were loving parents, and they lived close to each other so that she could spend half the week with her dad and half the week with her mom.
Having to live in two different households, each with different expectations, rules, and ways of doing things, led Erica to become a chameleon and put other people first in order to get by as smoothly as possible and avoid conflict and friction.
Three of her values were learned from her mom. Go to school and get good grades so you can have a good-paying job and financial independence was the first. This led to the second, which was to never be in a situation where you have to depend on a man â a fitting lesson given the circumstances. The third was to be a good person, be kind, be generous, and always show up and do the right thing.
These values carried Erica through childhood and college, into her first career, and into her marriage. Everything seemed fine, because of a fourth lesson she had learned â but that was the problem, as Fine is a 4-Letter Word.
See, the fourth lesson was that alcohol solves a lot of problems, whether it makes you feel happier, helps you forget why youâre sad, or loosens your inhibitions. Or helps you âease upâ when trying to be a chameleon has you grinding against your authentic self.
By dulling the edge, Erica missed that she wasnât in touch with her authenticity. Sheâd go to a concert and say âthis is greatâ in order to please whomever invited her, even if she hated the music. But sometimes, she would have a glass of wine to cope with houseguests she didnât want to deal with. A glass would turn into two, then three â then a whole bottle. Sheâd wake up not knowing what happened or what she said, or sensing tension with her husband and not even knowing what they had fought about the night before.
In a moment, when you meet Erica, youâll hear about the path to claiming her power to allow her authenticity to come through.
Ericaâs hype song is "Owl City" by Verge ft. Aloe Blacc.
Resources:
Erica Anderson Rooneyâs website: https://www.ericaandersonrooney.com LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ericarooney/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/fromnowtonextribe Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ericaandersonrooney/Invitation from Lori:
Let me ask you, if there was a simple way to reclaim your peace of mind and not feel so frazzled, would you want to know what it is? Enter the â10 Proven Habits Top Leaders Use to Stay Calm and Focused Every Dayâ checklist â your quick guide to creating calm, intentional days.
These practices are so incredibly simple, you'll probably question their effectiveness. Like, how could just doing THAT alleviate my stress?!
But take my word...
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Imagine youâre less than 30 years old, and so tired youâre afraid to drive because you might fall asleep at the wheel and cause an accident.
Picture the frustration of seeing doctor after doctor after doctor, only to be told youâre not sick, just depressed.
Then, after getting so many wrong answers, you conclude you have a brain tumor, because that seems to be the only possibility left.
And while all this is going on, youâre also in a toxic relationship that, as part of the final scene, has you seeking a Protection from Abuse Order.
This was Anne Desjardinsâ journey to health.
She was raised in a traditional, loving family environment that emphasized caring for others and continuous self-improvement. Her father was an ER physician. Her grandfathers and uncles were doctors. Her parents also had what today we would call side hustles. All of them listened to cassette tapes about business success, meaning Anne heard a lot of these too and they left an imprint.
Anne went to college for international business, but left after one year because it wasnât for her. She already knew that following her familyâs path and becoming a doctor wasnât for her either, since she passes out at the very sight of blood. When she did return to college, her value of helping others led her into a liberal arts curriculum. She graduated and began a promising career in sales. She fell in love. It was still early in the game, but everything seemed fine.
But you know, Fine is a 4-Letter Word.
Right around the time of her breakup, she saw a massage therapist who told Anne, âyour soul is dyingâ. Pretty soon, it felt like her body was dying too. Along with memory loss, she suffered from night sweats, hives, and insomnia. Even her dental hygienist noticed something was unusual about the plaque on her teeth. Desperate for sleep, she began drinking vodka straight out of the bottle. Numerous doctors and specialists tried, but failed, to come up with answers.
Until finally she got the answer: Lyme Disease.
The seven years of struggle to finally get the answer she needed touched off a seven-year battle to get healthy again. In a way it was poignant that she had come to believe she was dying of brain cancer, only to find out she was bitten by a bug and the cure was a regimen of antibiotic treatments.
In a moment, when you meet Anne, youâll hear how she decided not getting better was NOT one of her choices. Additionally, her journey highlights her core value of service to others, as sheâs now become an empowering voice for Lyme Disease patients and others.
Anneâs hype song is âGirl on Fireâ by Alicia Keys.
Resources:
Anne Desjardinsâ website: https://www.thesilverlyming.com/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/Annedesjardins Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Anne.desjardins.3 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/Anne.desjardins.15Invitation from Lori:
Let me ask you, if there was a simple way to reclaim your peace of mind and not feel so frazzled, would you want to know what it is? Enter the â10 Proven Habits Top Leaders Use to Stay Calm and Focused Every Dayâ checklist â your quick guide to creating calm, intentional days.
These practices are so incredibly simple, you'll probably question their effectiveness. Like, how could just doing THAT...
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Fear often holds you back, even if it doesnât make sense to be afraid.
You can have everything you ever wanted â a fantastic career, creature comforts, money to afford anything you need, plus âf*ck-you moneyâ in the bank that gives you the freedom to not have to do anything you donât want to.
And even with all that, you can still have an empty, nagging sense like you donât really have anything at all.
This has been Constantin Morunâs journey.
Born in Romania, at the tail end of a vicious dictatorship that offered its people no consumer goods, banned typewriters, and forced citizens to use light bulbs so dim they couldnât see around the room, it was easy for Constantin to find himself without freedom of expression and surrounded by scarcity.
While he was raised with love and compassion, he also knew what it felt like to be left in the dark, both figuratively and literally.
In 2000, when Constantin was 17, his family moved to Canada. There he was in a new land where he didnât understand the language, the school system or the level of diversity heâd never seen or experienced before.
He did well in college and got a degree in mathematics, but his work wasnât his passion. So he became a professional poker player while also coaching poker players, made a lot of money at it, but succumbed to pressures from others who told him he needed to get a âreal jobâ at some point.
This brought him to the United States and into the corporate hustle, and within seven years he was doing extremely well. As a result of hard work and accomplishment, he got a promotion. Everything seemed fine.
But Fine is a 4-Letter Word.
In a moment, when you meet Constantin, youâll hear about how just when it seemed he had it all â all he felt was an enormous emptiness inside. Which led him on the powerful journey of redefining terms like âregretâ and âfearâ and through which he discovered that, when all is said and done, these things are little more than illusions.
Prepare to discover the concept of âdecoy fearsâ and that when bad things happen, thereâs still always something good in it for you, as long as youâre willing to look for and see it.
Constantinâs hype songs are brain music you can find on Brain.fm.
Resources:
Constantin Morunâs websites: https://calmsuccesslive.com/ and https://unleashthyself.com/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/constantin-bo-morun/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/people/Unleash-Thyself/100091499994716/ Instagram: https://instagram.com/unleashthyselftoday X: https://x.com/Unleash_ThyselfInvitation from Lori:
Let me ask you, if there was a simple way to reclaim your peace of mind and not feel so frazzled, would you want to know what it is? Enter the â10 Proven Habits Top Leaders Use to Stay Calm and Focused Every Dayâ checklist â your quick guide to creating calm, intentional days.
These practices are so incredibly simple, you'll probably question their effectiveness. Like, how could just doing THAT alleviate my stress?!
But take my word - and all the science and research that's been done on these methods - implementing even ONE of these strategies will...
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You know the saying: your network is your net worth.
You can intentionally engineer the results by curating your circle of influence over time, keeping in touch, and being on the alert for subtle connections the casual observer might miss.
And then you might unintentionally end up on a flight with the CEO of your former employer, take your chance on grabbing the seat next to him in first class, and seize the opportunity to create networking connections that help him close a major deal.
Helen Fanucci took both approaches and had been able to practice and master the art of finding whatâs possible.
Her parents instilled this in her by showing her she could achieve anything she put her mind to. When, as a young girl living in Boston, she told her father, who was the minister of a congregational church, that she wanted to go to the MIT, and asked if he thought she could get in, he told her the only way to find out was to try.
Spoiler alert - she got into MIT.
But before that, as Helen was finishing seventh grade, her mother died of ovarian cancer only a year after her family had moved to Seattle. During a visit to Boston she realized that although she was struggling to fit in living in Seattle, she could find her place if she intentionally looked for and created it.
After graduating from MIT, she worked as a manufacturing engineer for IBM in Silicon Valley. Worried that IBMâs culture of spending your entire career there could leave her stagnant, she pivoted into sales. She grew into the role through building her network and seeking knowledge where she could find it - until an unsettling discovery led her to leave IBM and work for a prospective client.
Cue the coincidental meeting with the CEO of IBM on the airplane and Helenâs opportunity to use her networking skills to create a relationship between the CEO and her new employerâs CEO. By all standards, everything was going just fine.
But Fine is a 4-Letter Word.
In a moment, when you meet Helen, youâll discover how going on maternity leave changed everything. How spending a career in corporate America inspired her mantra of âthis wonât last forever.â And why all these years later sheâs started her own company that helps B2B companies with their go-to-market using AI tools.
It's a fascinating story, and you have to hear Helen tell it in her own words.
Helenâs hype song is âBrown Eyed Girlâ by Van Morrison.
Resources:
Helen Fanucciâs website: https://www.pipelinepower.ai/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/helenfanucci/ Claim your copy of Helen's book, Love Your Team: A Survival Guide for Sales Managers in a Hybrid World.Invitation from Lori:
In my special guide, 5 Easy Ways to Start Living the Sabbatical Life, you can discover, step-by-step, how you can stop settling for âfineâ and look at your life with a fresh set of eyes. Even if, like many people in todayâs high-speed world, youâre not in a position to take a month or year-long sabbatical.
You know how you normally hear the disclaimer âDonât try this at home!â In this case, you CAN try this at home. And not just âtry,â DO.
Once you read it, youâll
â Discover a counter-intuitive approach to making intentional changes in mindset and lifestyle.
â Learn how to own your feelings and your struggles so you can address them.
â Find out how to face fears, step out of your comfort zone, and rewire your beliefs.
Itâs...
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When you work in sales, you of course want to build trust with your prospects and make them feel like you have their best interests at heart and arenât simply selling them something just to earn a commission.
Resilience, adaptability, and continuous learning are as important to your success as empathy, patience, and effective communication.
Then thereâs the question of whether you enjoy sales and believe in what youâre selling, or if itâs just a job and youâre doing the best you can to be decent at it. These, and other sentiments, are why todayâs conversation with Gabe Lullo, the CEO of Alleyoop, is so important.
Gabe grew up in Buffalo, New York, which itself requires a lot of grit because you deal with really cold weather and a lot of snow. Add to that, Gabe and his sister were raised in modest circumstances by a single mom who worked two jobs so her kids could go to private schools and get a great education, even though it cost 90% of her income.
At the same time, he was close to his grandfather, a sports coach who modeled the âcoachingâ rather than the âbossingâ approach to leadership.
When he turned 18, his mother made him go to bartending school. The idea was that no matter what happened with his career, Gabe could always make money.
In college, while taking classes and doing internships, he worked nights as a bartender, a vocation that in hindsight taught him so much about sales, marketing, relationships, and more in a way that you simply donât get in the classroom. He first considered law school, then pivoted to finance, and then 9/11 hit and all opportunities in that sector evaporated.
Nevertheless, Gabe persisted, and he became a partner in a business venture, got married, and started a family. It was tough going there, but everything seemed like it was going to be just fine.
But Fine is a 4-Letter Word, and his business partnership broke up, sending him back to square one with an infant daughter to care for.
In a moment, when you meet Gabe, youâll discover how the next pivot in his journey, doing cold-calling as a Sales Development Representative (SDR) at minimum wage, touched off a meteoric journey that less than a decade later landed him in his current position as CEO of that company.
Doing the hard things has paid off, and as a result, Gabe has found a level of passion and fulfillment he hadnât imagined would be possible while shoveling through those Buffalo blizzards. Now heâs about to lay it all out for you.
Gabeâs hype song is "Danger Zone" by Kenny Loggins.
Resources:
Gabe Lulloâs website: https://alleyoop.io/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/lullo/Invitation from Lori:
In my special guide, 5 Easy Ways to Start Living the Sabbatical Life, you can discover, step-by-step, how you can stop settling for âfineâ and look at your life with a fresh set of eyes. Even if, like many people in todayâs high-speed world, youâre not in a position to take a month or year-long sabbatical.
You know how you normally hear the disclaimer âDonât try this at home!â In this case, you CAN try this at home. And not just âtry,â DO.
Once you read it, youâll
â Discover a counter-intuitive approach to making intentional changes in mindset and lifestyle.
â Learn how to own your feelings and your struggles so you can address them.
â Find out how to face fears, step out of your comfort zone, and rewire your beliefs.
Itâs only 7 pages, so it wonât take you long to get through. When youâre ready to say F*ck Being Fine, this guide is the place...
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Itâs called âcontinuous growthâ for a reason.
When you cut down a tree, or a tree snaps and falls, the rings youâll see reveal more than the age of the tree based on how many rings there are. Each ring will be a different width, a different color or shade.
Each of these rings tells a story about how changes in the environment impacted its growth and development as it grew from a sapling into a fully-fledged organism sprouting branches, growing leaves, bearing fruit, expanding its roots, or whatever other functions it performed during its life cycle.
Jennifer Fryeâs story of surviving domestic abuse and finding her way to thrive by looking from the inside out makes me think of this metaphor.
Growing up, Jennifer was instilled with the values of hard work, work ethic, honesty, integrity, family, education⊠and guilt. Yes, she grew up in the 1980s.
Her father was a successful entrepreneur who worked a lot of hours and embodied the hustle culture. Though she grew up in a loving household, both her parents died when she was in her 20s. She was determined to be a success story and to do what she believed would be expected of her.
Jennifer got married, had a child, and started a business, so it seemed like she was set to emulate her father and everything would be fine.
But Fine is a 4-Letter Word.
Her husband gradually became abusive. First it was emotional abuse, trauma, gaslighting, and displays of power like blocking her from leaving a room or laying behind her car so she could not leave the driveway. She tried to make it work for the sake of their child having a complete home. Then, after she went out with a friend for her birthday, he accused her of being with another man and struck her.
That was the break. Though it was scary, and she didnât have a whole lot to go on as her business was just starting to really take off, she divorced him and embarked on a journey to making it on her own.
Funny thing, though. She had already been managing the household and primary in raising their child, so on the surface level, aside from a struggle to make ends meet, things hadnât actually changed all that much.
Until one day, she was emptying the dishwasher and found sheer joy at knowing she didnât have a man who would cause her anxiety if she didnât empty the dishwasher.
In a moment, when you hear from Jennifer, youâll see how, like the rings of a tree, she discovered how as you go through the layers of bark, you find your tolerations that get in the way of gratitude and dispose of them.
And most of all, youâll be energized by the power of the word âbecauseâ.
Jenniferâs hype song is "I Wanna Dance With Somebody" by Whitney Houston.
Resources:
Jenniferâs website: https://appreciatedasset.com/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennifer-levy-frye/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/appreciatedasset/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/appreciatedasset/Also be sure to check out Episode #81, Resilience in the Face of Adversity: A Dadâs Story of Overcoming Loss and Embracing Gratitude with Mike Fister â Mike connected me to Jennifer for todayâs enlightening...
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Living through the pandemic changed all of our lives, in one way or another.
For some, it was coming to a realization that you didnât feel like your business or your career was your true calling, in which case itâs possible you may have encountered someone like todayâs guest during your journey toward finding something more aligned with your lifeâs purpose.
For others, itâs finding out that although you had a bunch of superficial or virtual interactions every day, you essentially felt alone. And maybe the friend or mentor you needed was someone you had never met, like in the form of a content creator, an author, or a podcast host.
This is Brian Finkâs story.
Growing up, his family was in the shirt manufacturing business. Today, heâs a talent acquisition partner who finds top-tier hires. One day, at a recruiting event, a candidate approached him and asked if he was one of the Finks who had owned the local shirt factory. It turns out, Brianâs grandfather had given his father white dress shirts as a reward for making Deanâs List at an HBCU, Albany State University, and to encourage him to continue doing well in his studies.
This encounter led Brian to the realization that because of what his grandfather did for those students and during the civil rights movement, that Brianâs striving to make sure things are fair and indivisible for everybody comes through family legacy.
Brian has enjoyed a storied career. Heâs owned recruiting businesses, exited them, and helped others grow and exit their recruiting businesses. He has worked for companies like Amazon and AWS, Twitter, and Vanguard on his way toward his current work at McAfee.
As an âintrapreneurâ, as he calls himself, he lives out the values imprinted by his grandfather as well as one of his grandmothers, who taught him to value friendships and the communities you create and serve.
This all sounds fine.. but Fine is a 4-Letter Word.
About 20 years ago, Brian found out he suffers from anxiety and depression.
In his search for understanding, acceptance, strength, and growth, he found himself drawn toward not only mentors in the workplace who create space for him to learn from mistakes and explore his talents, but also remote mentors â those authors, speakers, and podcast hosts. He reads voraciously to the point that heâs not really up on âpop cultureâ because he prefers books to television and movies.
Like the day he discovered by chance that his grandfather had been someone elseâs fatherâs hero, there was one particular video he found that gives him incredible inspiration to find what he is looking for on the other side of fear.
When you listen to Brian, youâll discover how he has found companionship and mentorship at a distance.
Brianâs hype song is âSweetnessâ by Jimmy Eat World.
Resources:
Brian Finkâs LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/brianfink/ Will Smithâs video that we discuss during the interview, âWhat Skydiving Taught Me About Fearâ: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bFIB05LGtMsInvitation from Lori:
In my special guide, 5 Easy Ways to Start Living the Sabbatical Life, you can discover, step-by-step, how you can stop settling for âfineâ and look at your life with a fresh set of eyes. Even if, like many people in todayâs high-speed world, youâre not in a position to take a month or year-long sabbatical.
You know how you normally hear the disclaimer âDonât try this at home!â In this case, you CAN try this at home. And not just âtry,â DO.
Once you read it, youâll
â
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Do you think youâve got it made?
Todayâs situation is remarkable for the sheer amount of disruption, rapid change, and even chaos that seems to spin faster and faster with each passing moment.
Just in the past few years, the world has been turned upside down, stood back up, spun around, and sent into the rapids by a pandemic that has become endemic, political and social upheaval that might leave you feeling like nothing would really surprise you at this point, predictions becoming fact in weeks rather than years, and much more that few of us saw coming just five years ago.
What if you could take a step back and turn down the noise?
Rick Herrmann invites you to do just that.
For the past 35 years, Rick has been what he calls an âalways onâ tech executive who thrives in the intensity and passion of work and then in play with his family. These experiences have taught him to be resilient, driven, and adaptable.
As a kid in New England during the 1980s, when Michael J. Fox played Alex P. Keaton, Rick grew up in the family ties of a supportive environment as the son of an engineer and entrepreneur who left the house at 5:30 am and came home at 6:30 pm and installed in young Rick the values of hard work and certainty.
These values inspired him to enter the tech world, a place where bedrock stability and calm through crisis are key to doing a great job and making a big difference. In the workplace, you might think of IT only when something goes wrong; the rest of the time you subconsciously bask in the certainty the up-and-running servers give you that youâll be able to do your job.
You might say Rick stands out by not standing out â heâs a gentle, quiet man with a great career and a wonderful family. Everythingâs fine with Rick â why would we even have him on a show thatâs about radical inflection points and catharsis?
But thatâs just the thing â FINE is a 4-Letter Word.
Things got a little f*cked up for Rick â in an understated way â when he entered his 50s and the world entered a pandemic. Coupled with the loss of a parent, it drove him to identify three core values â family, compassion, and doing big things.
Along the way, heâs taken plenty of walks in nature, walking calls with employees that are about candidly venting without the pressure to solve the worldâs problems, and driven the shift from âwork-life balanceâ to âwork-life integrationâ. Along the way, heâs brought computers to millions of underserved communities so they have a fair opportunity to participate in all the world has to offer.
Now tune in and prepare to soak up some of the wisdom Rick has learned along the way.
Rickâs hype song is "Need a Favor" by Jelly Roll.
Resources:
Rick Herrmannâs LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rickaherrmannInvitation from Lori:
In my special guide, 5 Easy Ways to Start Living the Sabbatical Life, you can discover, step-by-step, how you can stop settling for âfineâ and look at your life with a fresh set of eyes. Even if, like many people in todayâs high-speed world, youâre not in a position to take a month or year-long sabbatical.
You know how you normally hear the disclaimer âDonât try this at home!â In this case, you CAN try this at home. And not just âtry,â DO.
Once you read it, youâll
â Discover a counter-intuitive approach to making intentional changes in mindset and lifestyle.
â Learn how to own your feelings and your struggles so you can address them.
â Find out how to face fears, step out of your comfort zone, and rewire your beliefs.
Itâs only 7 pages, so it wonât take you long to get through. When...
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Self-reliance. Determination and grit. Treating others the way you want to be treated.
These are some of the most noble traits our society says we can possibly have, attributing people who exude them as being the product of a good upbringing and the kind of person we should aspire to be.
These are also the traits than can bite you in the ass and f*ck everything up when they come back at you like a boomerang and whack you upside the head just when you think youâve done it all right and everythingâs fine.
This is Michelle Charpentierâs story.
She was raised with the âGolden Ruleâ by hardworking, self-relliant parents who always came through for her, one way or another. Her dad was a school teacher and a musician who got by just fine by living this same value system. Her mom was always busy doing something.
Michelle embarked on a successful management career in the jewelry industry, where she discovered a few things that really stood out. Like the time a meeting coordinator asked Michelle to be liaison with the cleaning lady rather than approach the woman directly because Michelle seemed to get along with her so well. Or that some managers were assuming everything was fine with their employees and not taking the time to get to know their likes and dislikes.
Eventually, Michelle was offered the kind of major promotion you donât say no to. For a while it involved a long commute from New York City to New Jersey, but she was able to get transferred to NYC and everything seemed fine.
But FINE is a 4-Letter Word.
Michelle burned out, but it wasnât just the commute and the long hours that come with being in retail that drove her to leave it all behind and start her own consulting firm so she could have more flexibility to start a family.
Remember that boomerang that comes around and hits you back? Michelle felt it when all of a sudden she had nobody to manage. Then she found those traits of self-reliance, determination, and grit became a problem when employees werenât around whose specific job it was to help her.
And that Golden Rule thing? She found out in the âsilence of solopreneurshipâ that it played a huge role in burning her out and cost her a fortune in life.
In a moment, when you meet Michelle, youâll find out how all those admirable traits f*cked things up â and some new values she developed that actually made her an even better person than the fine human being she already was. It may come across as contrarian, and it may shock you. And thatâs exactly why you need to listen.
Michelleâs hype song is "WOW" by Post Malone.
Resources:
Michelle Charpentierâs website: https://www.charpconsulting.com/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michelleccharpentier/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/charpconnectionsInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/brooklyn_pioneer/Also, check out Episode #135, Pull The Weeds When Theyâre Wet with Kris Ward, for even more on the topics Michelle shares with us today.
Invitation from Lori:
In my special guide, 5 Easy Ways to Start Living the Sabbatical Life, you can discover, step-by-step, how you can stop settling for âfineâ and look at your life with a fresh set...
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Imagine going about your day, following your routine, when out of the blue something comes along and knocks you to the ground, ending the life youâve known up until that moment.
In the movies, things can go into slow motion, or you hear the âneedle scratchâ that ends the background music as everything comes to a shuttering halt and you fall to the ground.
This was the moment Dori Staehle (pronounced STAY-LEE) got beat like a drum in a bicycle accident â and as she was soon to discover, drumming was going to be the next step.
Dori told her professors she was raised by wolves. Her father became a single parent to Dori and her two older sisters and the girls found themselves taking care of the household with minimal parental guidance.
At age 16, she left home to live with a friend from high school. Around that same time developed a curiosity about spirituality and sought to learn more about faith on her own.
After college, where she almost burned out due to her heavy course load, Dori pursued a career path of international business and sales and marketing but felt unfulfilled creatively. At the same time, she discovered her children âlearned differently.â so out of necessity she designed a unique way to teach them mathematics.
It was then that Dori discovered that hand drumming helped beat stress and ADHD issues and improved productivity. So in 2009 she became a Certified Drum Therapist with Drums and Disabilities, and later trained with Health Rhythms.
Not everything was âfineâ â that 4-Letter Word â but it was about to get worse.
BAM!
One day in 2011, that bicycle came out of nowhere. After weeks of being put off when she sought proper medical attention and being told she was âfineâ when she was in constant pain, an MRI revealed that not only did she have a mass of cysts inside her, the bicycle accident had triggered Aphasia.
Dori almost gave up, but decided to ask God to give her a way to heal herself and others - and that's when things got interesting.
Already well into her 50s, she started her fourth business, Next Stage Drumming, mainly offering classes, events, and private drum therapy sessions. Once Dori added some mentoring and coaching to the mix, she began to see breakthroughs taking place very quickly â not only for her clients, but for herself as well.
In a moment, when you meet Dori, youâll hear her fascinating story about how all the threads, lessons, triumphs, and tragedies of her life coalesced as if they were leading her to the drums. As Dori says, âYou're never too old and it's never too late to rock what you've got!â
Doriâs hype song is "Rise Up (Lazarus)" by CAIN.
Resources:
Dori Staehleâs website: https://www.nextstagedrumming.com LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/doristaehlemba Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nextstagedrummingInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/nextstagedoriClaim your access to Dori Staehle's free stress relief video when you sign up for her newsletter: https://www.nextstagedrumming.com/free-tips/
Invitation from Lori:
Before you press that "Play" button (or after you finish listening), let me mention that in my special guide, 5 Easy Ways to Start Living the Sabbatical Life, you can...
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What do Anthony Hopkins, Dan Aykroyd, Courtney Love, Daryl Hannah, Jerry Seinfeld, Albert Einstein, Heather Kuzmich, Elon Musk, Lionel Messi, Eminem, and Satoshi Tajiri have in common?
Celebrity?
Creativity?
Fame?
Fortune?
Yes, all of them have these things to varying degrees. Each and every one of them also has (or in Einsteinâs case, had) autism.
So does author, actor, autism advocate, and animal rights activist Daniel Keith Austin, creator of the childrenâs book series, Chelseaâs New Journey. I was especially interested in hosting Daniel on the show because there are a lot of misconceptions around what autism is and how people with it interact with the world. Itâs a topic thatâs near and dear to my heart because my nephew is on the spectrum.
Daniel was raised with the core beliefs of striving to be a good and decent person who treats people well, does things for the overall benefit of mankind, and helps people lead better lives.
He also grew up as one of four autistic siblings and experienced many challenges. He was a disruptive kid who struggled in an educational system that just wanted him to follow orders and behave while doing little to support him in learning to form relationships and communicate effectively. He didnât find out he had autism until he was 14 years old.
In Danielâs case, you could say things were never âfineâ â for him, Fine is a 4-Letter Word and always has been.
In a moment, when you meet Daniel, youâll discover how his passion for writing, performing, and storytelling led him to create a series of childrenâs books about Chelsea the Golden Retriever.
Revolving around the life story of a Golden Retriever based on Danielâs childhood dog, this series breaks down and transforms complicated, contentious themes into an understandable, relatable tale that powerfully addresses themes of abandonment, the need for acceptance and belonging, and triumph over adversity through seemingly impossible challenges from the perspective of someone who lacks a human voice.
Through Chelseaâs eyes, Daniel invites you to join an engaging and thought-provoking story arc around Chelsea becoming a therapy dog for people on the autism spectrum.
Danielâs hype song is âSomethingâs Comingâ from West Side Story.
Resources:
Daniel Keith Austinâs websites: https://danielkeithaustin.com/ and https://www.chelseasnewbeginningbook.com/ Facebook: https://facebook.com/chelsea.the.golden.retrieverInstagram: https://instagram.com/chelseathegoldenretriever88/X (formerly Twitter): https://x.com/ChelseaTheGold2Invitation from Lori:
Before we get to this thought-provoking, emotional conversation that delivers a new perspective on thriving with autism, let me mention that in my special guide, 5 Easy Ways to Start Living the Sabbatical Life, you can discover, step-by-step, how you can stop settling for âfineâ and look at your life with a fresh set of eyes. Even if, like many people in todayâs high-speed world, youâre not in a position to take a month or year-long sabbatical.
You know how you normally hear the disclaimer âDonât try this at home!â In this case, you CAN try this at home. And not just âtry,â DO.
Once...
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In conversations with friends and through my own experiences, I know our animals whoâve crossed the rainbow bridge can still communicate with us. My kitty girls show up in my dreams from time to time.
My guest today is Maribeth Decker. And when she started receiving messages from her dogs after they passed away, it led her to her current vocation.
Like many of my guests, Maribeth was raised to conform to social expectations. Be good, be quiet, be smiley. Donât ask questions. Do as youâre told. Whatever youâre told is the absolute truth. At age 13, she was out in the woods when she asked God if He existed. She received an incredible response from a loving, intelligent presence. Part of the message was that maybe the humans in her life didnât have all the answers after all.
In college, she studied pre-med and was horrified by being forced to do experiments on live turtles and mice. After college, her boyfriend suggested she join the Navy, which was a âFuck Yesâ decision for her. In the service she lived up to the drunken sailor stereotype. But when she lost her drinking partner because he decided to get sober, she decided to get sober too.
After 17 years, Maribeth took early retirement from the Navy and became an association manager. During that time, her first husband died, leaving her with young children. She could have worked as an association manager until she retired, and given all she had been through, that would have been fine for Maribeth.
But Fine is a 4-Letter Word.
Instead, Maribeth felt a calling to do something else â massage therapy, then Reiki. After 21 years as an association manager, having already taken courses in massage therapy and Reiki, she retired from her job and went into these practices full-time. Things were going great; this was a right fit. Then her deceased dogs began sending her messages.
Eddie transitioned right before she left for a business trip. While on the airplane, Maribeth felt Eddieâs presence in the aisle and even petted her. Eddie stayed with her the first night in the hotel to make sure she was able to do her best work. Similarly, Timmy, who had passed years before, visited her at her home. He was a full-body apparition, grinning to say he was OK, he was happy and he loved her. Had Maribeth become Dr. Doolittle? What did all this mean?
In a moment, when you meet Maribeth, youâll discover how this led her to a new and exciting chapter working with animals to help them become better family members through intuitive communication, medical intuition, and energy healing.
Maribethâs hype song is âPyroâ by Kings of Leon.
Resources:
Maribeth Deckerâs website: https://sacredgrove.com/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/maribethdecker/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/spiritualpetpeopleInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/maribethdecker/Also, check out the following episodes we discussed during our interview:
Tap Into Your Intuition & Own Your True Self with Brigitte BakerYou Have a Ghost in Your Neck with Melanie... -
As a Gen-Xer, I remember when the prevalent view about being gay was that it was something youâd be afraid for people to find out about. Itâs also been our generation that started to change that.
Weâve come a long way in the past couple decades, but it can still be a frightening prospect if your family and community are predominantly heteronormative.
With the stigma surrounding homosexuality that prevailed in the last century, can you blame someone for being afraid to come out, even if everyone they privately confided in has been completely understanding and supportive?
This is Kevin OâConnorâs story.
Kevin was raised in the 1950s and 1960s in the middle of the Midwest â Elgin Illinois to be exact â as part of a family that founded the first funeral home in that town in 1930 and continued to operate it up until 1984. He, his parents, and his older brother lived in one part of the house; his uncle, aunt, and three older girl cousins lived in another part of the house; the funeral parlor was on the ground floor. He uses the word âinclusiveâ to summarize his family and social environment growing up.
While he was welcome to make a career in the family business, nobody insisted; his family supported him when he went to college for education and became a teacher. In his early 20s, he got married. This was a great start, and everything seemed fine.
But Fine is a 4-Letter Word â and in 1971, being gay was not considered âfineâ.
In a moment, when you meet Kevin, you will discover his extraordinary journey of coming out to his first wife, his second wife, his father, and his sons. And then what inspired him to come out publicly at 55 years old and the impact it had on all his relationships, including and especially the one with himself.
This is a story about inclusivity, acceptance, self-discovery, and navigating the waters of society you cannot miss â tune in now and you may find yourself seeing a new point of view.
Kevinâs hype song is "You Are the Sunshine of My Life" by Stevie Wonder.
Resources:
Kevin OâConnorâs website: https://www.kevinoconnorauthor.com/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kmoconnor/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kevin.oconnor2Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thegriefnavigator/Also check out our episode, Unleash Your Joy with Carol Banens which includes a theme related to something Kevin and I discussed.
Invitation from Lori:
In my special guide, 5 Easy Ways to Start Living the Sabbatical Life, you can discover, step-by-step, how you can stop settling for âfineâ and look at your life with a fresh set of eyes. Even if, like many people in todayâs high-speed world, youâre not in a position to take a month or year-long sabbatical.
You know how you normally hear the disclaimer âDonât try this at home!â In this case, you CAN try this at home. And not just âtry,â DO.
Once you read it, youâll
â Discover a counter-intuitive approach to making intentional changes in mindset and lifestyle.
â Learn how to own your feelings and your struggles so you can address them.
â Find out how to face fears, step out of your comfort zone, and rewire your beliefs.
Itâs only 7 pages, so it wonât take...
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While it's difficult to track how many people with cancer do not seek treatment, the National Cancer Data Base (NCDB) conducted a study a few years ago that indicated about 9.2% of patients receive no first course of treatment.
This could be for many reasons, including fear or disbelief in traditional or corporate medicine, alternative treatments that stay off the statistics, or they just say âfuck itâ and decide to enjoy the time they have left the best they can.
But what if youâre diagnosed with cancer and seeing an oncologist just doesnât fit into your plan?
This was Deb Krier.
Deb was raised in a small town as the only child of a father who worked most of the time and was uninvolved to the point that he was vaguely aware the family had a bank account, and a mother who was the secretary at the local doctorâs office. Their marriage may have been what we today call a âfemale-led relationshipâ â her mother ran everything and insisted on making every decision.
This brought out two traits in Deb â it made her a perfectionist and perhaps a bit of a control freak, and it also made her very independent and insistent on having control over her own life.
She went to college, started a business, and in her 30s got married. They lived in Denver until her husband got transferred to Atlanta. Because they donât have kids and otherwise are independent people, the move wasnât that hard. They planted stakes in Atlanta and things went on. Hell, everything seemed fine.
But FINE is a 4-Letter Word.
A routine mammogram revealed something, but it was minor and easily treatable. Since it didnât seem urgent, Deb didnât exactly rush to the oncologist â actually, it wasnât until months later, once the cancer had spread and things got serious, that she began treatment.
The journey through cancer has taught Deb many lessons, including the importance of delegation in her business, how to assert her autonomy and retain her choice as she goes through treatment, and a long quest through which she has discovered a new meaning and definition for the concept of death.
For a while, her mother moved in to help with care, which led to arguments because Deb, her mother, and her husband fought over who was in charge. It was a huge deal just to persuade her mother to leave when she was no longer needed.
So, how is Deb doing? How did this inspire her to create her venture, Trying Not to Die, which works with cancer patients showing them how to LIVE?
Weâre about to find out.
Debâs hype song is âFight Songâ by Rachel Platten.
Resources:
Deb Krierâs website: https://tryingnottodie.live/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/deborahkrier/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1465660477225232Also check out our episode, Replacing Fine with F*ck Off! with P.J. Roscoe which includes a theme related to something Deb and I discussed.
Invitation from Lori:
Now, let me mention that in my special guide, 5 Easy Ways to Start Living the Sabbatical Life, you can discover, step-by-step, how you can stop settling for âfineâ and look at your life with a fresh set of eyes. Even if, like many people in todayâs high-speed world, youâre not in a...
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First of all, Iâd like to take a moment to acknowledge and celebrate all the work thatâs gone into getting to this milestone of 150 episodes of Fine is a 4-Letter Word.
In past solos, Iâve talked about courage, doing what others wonât do, energy, and making decisions.
If youâre not familiar with what I do outside of this show, I work with business leaders and corporate teams, giving them tools and techniques so they can be more focused, resilient, and collaborative so they can manage the distractions in their heads that keep them from being as productive as theyâd like and move projects forward with less stress and drama.
One of those techniques is meditation - but thereâs often a lot of resistance around meditation, what it is, how to do it, etc.
There are many benefits, not least of which is meditation can decrease anxiety, it builds resilience. Youâll spend less time stuck in mulling over past mistakes and worrying about what might happen tomorrow.
In fact, a study at the University of Western Ontario followed an 8-week mindfulness program. Results showed participants experienced a 32% decrease in stress, a 30% decrease in anxiety and a 29% decrease in depression.
Tune in to this special episode and discover for yourself:
â When you can expect to see results from meditation
â The best time of day to meditate and how to use it to set yourself up to be more efficient and successful
â How you can easily make meditation a habit
â And much, much more packed into this powerful 23-minute episode!
This episode comes with a bonus called âMeditation: Clearing Anxietyâ which is posted separately as a bonus episode.
Resources:
My Website: https://ZenRabbit.com/ LinkedIn: https://zenrabbit.com/linkedin/ Facebook: https://zenrabbit.com/facebook/ Instagram: https://zenrabbit.com/instagram/Invitation from Lori:
Much of what I included here comes from my digital Staying Calm in Chaos program.
If youâd like to get access to the entire program, where thereâs a whole bunch more tools and techniques beyond meditation, you can find it at https://www.stayingcalminchaos.com/sp.
Itâs time to step out of the clusterf*ck... of fear, regret, and disappointment, and into a place of peace and contentment!
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This meditation is designed to clear stress and anxiety so you can feel grounded and safe in this moment. Sometimes anxiety can spin you into a frenzy. Worrisome thoughts get stuck playing on an endless loop through your mind. It doesnât feel good and it doesnât serve you in any useful way.
Use this one to bring yourself back to tranquility, serenity, and calm.
Music credits: ©2017 Rebecca Reads Recordings Root Chakra Singing Bowls Note C
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In almost all of my episodes on Fine is a 4-Letter Word, I deal in varying degrees with the circles of life.
In two of the themes I explore with my guests â the values and beliefs they were raised with, and the moment in their life when they realized or found out that everything wasnât âfineâ â we see how these themes come together. And see where some of the conscious as well as the subconscious imprints either trigger the latter and/or blaze the trail for self-discovery, self-improvement, and self-actualization.
For the first time, I have a returning guest, Christina Robinson Race, who joined me 105 episodes ago for a conversation called âLighting a Candle & Letting It Goâ.
For a quick recap: Christina was raised in an abusive home and when she was sexually abused by a neighbor, got shut down by her covert narcissist mother who didnât want to deal with it. There was no trust and no communication. During our conversation, we delved into how Christina and her husband had applied lessons from their upbringings in efforts to be better parents to their children, and how her desire to be an available, accessible parent had influenced her career path.
Today, we pick up with whatâs happened since that episode. Itâs been interesting to say the least, but it definitely hasnât been âfine.â
The day we sat down for our update, Christina had just â and I mean within the couple days preceding â gotten out of surgery, packed up her house in Tennessee, and moved to Illinois to live with her now ex-husband, who in the intervening time had left her after having an affair with a younger colleague.
Christinaâs children are coming along â her son is in the military, and one of her daughters is now starting as a teacher in a summer school.
The biggest challenges Christina has been working to overcome is having limited social interaction as an extrovert, taking things day-by-day as a person who was so organized she would have color-coded charts planning things out months in advance, and finding out that even when your children are grown, not only do you continue being a parent, but it takes on new and interesting forms!
Most people fear change, even positive change, because it involves the unknown. Thatâs why we settle for less, conform to othersâ expectations, wonder how we became clones of our parents when we swore that would never happen, and stunt our own growth as human beings.
In a moment, when you meet Christina, or reconnect with her as the case may be, I invite you to open your mind and your heart as you prepare to discover answers to questions you didnât even know to ask. Then be sure to stick around for the MANY takeaways, because there are some extremely powerful lessons here.
Christinaâs hype song is "Brand New Me" by Alicia Keys.
Resources:
Christina Robinson Raceâs websites: https://christinarobinsonrace.com/ and https://www.epremium.com/ Facebook: https://www.linkedin.com/in/crrace/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chrisraceAlso check out Christinaâs previous episode, Lighting a Candle & Letting It Go.
Invitation from Lori:
Now, let me mention that...
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Your life is a collage of all the experiences you have, people you meet, and what you learn along the way.
Like many collages, even if they begin with a concept or a plan, as you bring them together they may take directions you hadnât anticipated and show you things even more interesting than what you originally expected.
This was the case for Noemi Beres, whose professional work owning and managing a podcast booking agency involves helping people tell their stories and connecting them to hosts who provide the canvas for their verbal collage.
Growing up as an only child in a small town in Hungary, Noemi had loving, supportive parents as well as an extended family who nurtured her spirit, helped her fulfill her dreams, and saw things in her that she could not see in herself.
When Noemi started school, she was bullied by her classmates. Seeing that Noemi needed something bigger than that little school and town, her parents encouraged her to study abroad for a year in Denmark. After she came back to Hungary, locals barely recognized Noemi â she had become a different person.
The foundation was a level of confidence and clarity far beyond most young women her age. As she began her university studies, she fell in love with and quickly married a young man from her hometown. All these years later, theyâre still married and going strong, so everything looks fine in that department.
Noemi finished college, moved to Ireland, and started her career and her family. She and her husband discovered their love of entrepreneurship and built a business together. They built a family when their son was born. And when they decided they preferred a Mediterranean climate, they moved to Cyprus and started their life there. Yep, everythingâs fine there too.
But that word⊠âfineâ⊠Fine is a 4-Letter Word.
Just when everything seemed to be going well, Noemiâs father was diagnosed with cancer. He was given a six-month prognosis, but beat the odds and lived two years, passing away in 2019. A few months after that, her paternal grandmother suffered an injury and died as a result. A few months after that, the pandemic hit and Noemi and her husband lost their business and found themselves starting over professionally.
In the midst of all this grief, Noemi reconnected with her flair for art. She had begun weaving collages while sitting with her sick father. This passion took on a life of its own and she now incorporates her love of photography, as she creates collages using family photos with pictures she takes.
In a moment, when you meet Noemi, youâll see how all the threads of her life experience come together as she plans to publish a book of collages and participate in a very unique pilgrimage!
Noemiâs hype song is "The Pretender" by Foo Fighters.
Resources:
Noemi Beresâ website: https://www.podcastconnections.co/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/noemiberes/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/noemi.beres Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/noemi_beres_/Invitation from Lori:
Now, let me mention that in my special guide, 5 Easy Ways to Start Living the Sabbatical Life, you can discover, step-by-step, how you can stop settling for âfineâ and look at your life with a fresh set of eyes. Even if, like many people in todayâs high-speed world, youâre not in a position to take a...
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